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Most people think discipline is forcing yourself to do something that you don't want to do.
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Dragging yourself out of bed at 5 a.m because some Navy SEAL on YouTube told you that's what disciplined people do.
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And so when you don't do it,
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you make it mean something about you.
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I'm not disciplined, I don't have what it takes,
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there's something wrong with me.
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But here's the thing, there's nothing wrong with you.
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You've just misunderstood what discipline actually is.
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Because discipline is not the consistency of doing something you don't wanna do.
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Real discipline operates at a completely different level.
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And once you understand it,
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the thing you've been forcing yourself to do becomes easier.
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Not because you get tougher,
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but because you stop fighting yourself.
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So in this episode, I'm going to show you what discipline actually is,
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why willpower keeps failing you,
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and the two-part process that turns resistance into mastery.
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So let's get into it.
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All right, guys, there are sort of two different ways that you could go with this discipline conversation.
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The first is where 99% of people go,
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which is why so many people feel like they're undisciplined.
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Because you can go on YouTube,
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you can find 100 videos on five steps to become more disciplined.
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You can find a bunch of habits of the world's most successful people.
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You can find laws of leadership.
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And it includes things like time blocking or habit stacking or the 21-day rule, the 5 a.m club.
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And that's all fine.
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But that is the surface game of discipline.
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What we really want to take a look at is what's happening upstream.
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what allows you to actually do the things
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that you know would bring your health forward your relationships forward
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your growth forward your wealth forward i want to talk about discipline at a root cause level because
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when you understand discipline this way you're not just making an
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effort from your end you're actually aligning your effort with a response from the universe now i know
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that might sound a little bit new age
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but bear with me here okay so you can do willpower or disciplined the hard way.
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Anybody can do that, right?
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It's like you can, if I point a gun to your head,
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I can get you to do the work.
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You would sit down, you'd write the marketing plan,
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you'd make the calls, you'd do the sit-ups at the gym.
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But that's the hardest way to live, right?
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Living with a gun to your head,
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living from what I would call a primal state,
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that's pushing a boulder uphill every single day.
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And so we want to find a way to actually act in alignment
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and congruent with the things
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that we believe we need to do in order to produce the results
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that we want to get without having to force the action.
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So we want to make the action easier by disciplining ourselves internally first.
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I'm going to talk about two different ways that we can do this here.
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Now, let's first talk about what's not working with willpower.
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So if you keep procrastinating around something,
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it's not because you're lazy.
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What you'll find behind procrastination or self-sabotage or being undisciplined is some fear.
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Like if you actually believe that the thing that you're about to go do might not work out,
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you'll be tempted to not do it.
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If you believe that you're not good enough, right?
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Of course, your nervous system is going to resist putting you in a position where you might become exposed or grow.
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If you believe money is hard to make,
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you're going to resist building the thing that's supposed to make you money.
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If you were programmed as a kid to be seen and not heard,
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then your whole nervous system is going to resist becoming visible, right?
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So you can put whatever action plan you want in front of you.
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But if I tell you that what is in front of you is a tiger,
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you're going to run in the other direction.
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And so this is the challenge with most of the wonderful ideas out there that might work for some people,
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like waking up early or time blocking or organizing yourself in a particular way or reducing context shifting.
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All these are really great strategies.
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But what we have to do is look upstream because this disciplined behavior is downstream of psychological alignment.
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And when you really look at what discipline is, it's discipleship, right?
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This isn't just a Christian concept.
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The esoteric Egyptians taught this,
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the Rosicrucians taught this through anthroposophy.
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Every ancient tradition pointed to the same thing.
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And that is a changed life is the byproduct of a changed mind.
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If you want to become more disciplined at a root cause level,
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we have to identify what is the inner conflict that is occurring for you that is making this action so difficult.
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That is putting fear between you and the outcome.
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Really, that was the entire teaching of the gospel, right?
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That's why it was called the good news.
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Christ came and said, hey,
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don't be conformed to this world,
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but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
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And so you don't have to be stuck in your life and what we would call undisciplined.
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You can actually create the breakthrough and start to align your identity and your actions
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with the person who actually produces the outcome.
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But in order to do that without force,
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in order to make it consistent,
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we've got to take a look upstream and see what's going on.
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Because real discipline, and I want you to write this down,
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real discipline is psychological.
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Real discipline is not behavioral.
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And that's the big mistake we make.
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We look at the external and we go, oh, I'm not disciplined.
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But really what's driving that action or preventing you from doing
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that action externally that you believe you need to engage in and produce the result is something going on inside.
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So the problem is most people are trying to discipline their behavior before they've disciplined their thinking, right?
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And that's why it keeps falling apart.
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If you actually believe something is hard,
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do you believe you're going to be likely to do the thing.
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But if you remove the concept of hard and you just realize like,
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I'm going to be doing something for the first time,
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it's not going to go as smoothly as it might the second time.
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This is a learning process,
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but I understand that this is the process
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and I can truly enjoy the process of getting better and better at over time.
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Aren't you more likely to actually do the thing?
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So the story that we have about the action that we believe we should take,
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that determines whether or not we are actually doing the thing
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or doing the thing for a couple of weeks and then back on the couch.
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So the discipline that you're being called to,
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which again is not the alpha male,
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hyper masculine, Navy SEAL type of discipline that we see on YouTube or Instagram or social media.
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Real discipline is a discipline of awareness.
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And that can be challenging because the external reality is so alluring.
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Like we live in the sensory experience.
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You've been given these five senses and we live in a sensory overload.
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And so we almost forget our inner world.
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But really the opportunity if we want to become disciplined is becoming aware of the resistance that is inside of us.
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Identifying the old belief that comes up in the face of this action
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or activity that you believe you should engage in and then working with that belief and choosing a new one.
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One of the great distinctions that we teach that I think is one of the most powerful distinctions in personal growth,
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when you're looking at trying to transform a belief,
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you identify you've got this belief that is moving you into some form of suffering and deterring you from taking the action,
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we want to work at the belief level.
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And one of the most powerful distinctions is this distinction that beliefs are decisions.
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You've decided that money is scarce.
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You've decided that there's not enough time.
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You've decided that you can't trust people.
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You've actually decided that you're not disciplined.
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And you're so powerful and your brain is a goal-achieving machine that whatever it is you believe becomes your reality.
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And so the opportunity here is when you identify a limiting belief,
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when you really look at what it is that you're not doing,
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that you're not disciplined too externally.
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And you go like, what is this resistance that comes up inside of me?
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Every time I think about working on the presentation,
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every time I think about making sales calls,
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every time I think about taking some time for myself to meditate,
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but I don't do it.
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And you go, wow, what's happening inside of me when I'm confronted with that action is this idea that I'm not worthy,
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or this idea that this is not going to work,
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or this idea that there's not enough time.
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and to decide differently, to decide that you are worthy,
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to decide that this is going to work,
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to decide that there is enough time to do the things that are important to you.
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That small two millimeter shift,
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realizing that beliefs are decisions and that you have choice transformed my life.
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For years, I was not disciplined around my business.
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I found it very difficult to sit down and actually do some work.
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But part of that was I had a limiting belief,
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which was that I'm not disciplined.
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And I had a whole lifetime of history to prove it to myself.
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I could look back and go,
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I mean, look, you were an alcoholic,
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you know, you were a drug addict,
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you were a sex addict, right?
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How can I possibly be disciplined enough to be successful in business?
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And one of the things that I actually reframed,
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which isn't just something I was making up,
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it was really just seeing reality clearly,
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was that I was very disciplined.
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Like I was incredibly disciplined in my drug addiction.
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I was incredibly disciplined with happy hour.
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I was incredibly disciplined with my capacity to roll joints,
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smoke them on the way to work and smoke them on the way back home.
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So I had this story that I wasn't disciplined,
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but in fact, I was very disciplined.
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I was just disciplined in things that were representative of unresolved trauma.
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I was disciplined in things that were not in alignment with the results that I actually wanted to create in my life.
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So I started developing some new belief systems around every limiting belief that I could find.
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I made a new empowered decision.
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And what was really simple was that the new decision that I made was always the opposite of the limiting belief.
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So I decided that I am disciplined.
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I am worthy.
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I am capable.
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As I started to adopt those beliefs,
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I started to incrementally take more action in the areas of my life where I hadn't been.
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So I started to work out more.
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I started to go out more.
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I started to connect with others more.
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I started to be willing to pursue the ideas that I had.
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I started to actually take on learning how to do marketing and becoming a marketer.
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You know, today I think I'm a really phenomenal marketer.
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I've had to in order to get my mission and this message out there in the world.
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But it didn't start out that way.
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I had to start making new decisions.
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You don't make that decision once, right?
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You make it every time the old belief comes up.
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You start focusing not on actually time blocking and task doing,
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you focus more on your inner dialogue.
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And so I had a process when I started becoming quote unquote disciplined,
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which was really a shift in my identity.
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It was called the morning dump.
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Every single morning I'd wake up with all these reasons why I couldn't,
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why I wasn't, right?
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Why I wasn't disciplined, why I wasn't successful.
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I created a three column spreadsheet.
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And in the first column,
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I would write down all of the negative inner belief systems that would come up.
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And in the second column,
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I'd write down exactly the opposite of what that belief was.
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And in the third column,
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I'd say, well, what evidence do I have for the fact that this new decision is true, right?
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So I'd write down something like I'm not very disciplined.
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And then in the second column,
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I'd write, I am very disciplined.
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The third column, I'd say,
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well, what evidence do I have for the fact that this is true?
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And I'd sit with it.
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What's interesting about this process,
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we call it the decision matrix.
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Some of you have said this tool has completely changed your life,
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is that if you're willing to just kind of sit with the new decision for a little bit,
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there'll be old memories that come up,
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evidence that you've sort of been filtering out of your conscious awareness
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because it hasn't been congruent with this limiting belief that you have, right?
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This belief that there's not enough time,
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this belief that you're not good enough,
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this belief that money is hard to make,
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this belief that you can't trust people,
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this belief that if you want to do things right,
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you have to do it yourself.
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But if you're willing to sit with it for a moment,
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you start to activate old dormant memories.
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You literally start to activate a part of your brain that has been sleeping.
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And as you do that,
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what you'll start to find is that the new decision
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that you make actually starts to be more true than the limiting belief that you've been
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Buying into so I would do this process every morning.
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I did it for about 30 days It was called the morning dump again in the first column.
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I'd write down my limiting beliefs How I was feeling in
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the morning second column for each one I'd write a new decision
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and then for each of those i'd say well What evidence do I have for the fact
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that this new decision is true?
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And i'd ask that question a couple of times, right?
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So if my limiting belief was like,
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you know, i'm not very good at anything My new decision would be i'm actually pretty good at most things
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And i'd say well, what evidence do I have for the fact that this is true?
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And i'm like,
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well like i'm good at the simple things i'm good at
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waking up i'm good at brushing my teeth I'm going to drive my car And then i'd ask the question again.
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Okay.
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What other evidence do I have for the fact that this is true?
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And i'd say well i'm pretty good at marketing.
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I'm pretty good at coaching I'm a pretty good friend say
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cool What other evidence do I have for the fact
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that this new decision is true that i'm pretty good at most things
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And what you'll notice is is you're willing to spend just a couple of minutes on
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that This whole new awareness starts to open up and you realize that you've sort of enrolled yourself
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into this hallucination of the limiting belief.
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And as you go through the first two,
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three, four limiting beliefs, you don't need to go through all 30
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or 40 that you would write down in a morning dump process.
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Your whole attitude on life starts to change.
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Your identity starts to shift.
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You start to feel motivated.
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And that's where discipline becomes more natural.
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You're now not forcing the action.
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You've just removed the resistance that was making the action so hard.
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So this type of process,
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reframing or limiting belief shifting work,
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This is actually how you start to build new neural networks and new neural pathways.
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You start to change your brain.
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And so you become a person that from the outside looking in,
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someone would say is disciplined,
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like you're doing the work that you said you were going to go do, right?
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But really from the inside looking out,
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you know, no, this was who I always really was.
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I've just removed the resistance that was preventing me from being that person.
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What changes when you do the inner work first is that you're no longer battling yourself internally.
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You're just practicing a new behavior.
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And so it's kind of like if you and I were going to go practice a new tennis swing, right?
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There's practicing the new tennis swing.
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That's one thing.
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And over time, we could dial that in.
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We could get you disciplined to a new improved tennis swing.
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But there's another scenario where you're practicing a new tennis swing
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while a part of you is screaming that you're not good enough to be on the court, right?
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So that's the challenge with trying to discipline yourself to new behavior is
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that there's an internal dialogue taking place that makes the actual changed behavior harder than it needs to be.
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So you can change your behavior.
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You have the capacity to do that,
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but not while you're criticizing yourself,
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beating yourself up or scaring yourself at the same time,
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because one is just mechanical.
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It's a new habit.
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The other is psychological warfare.
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So we have to remove the psychological warfare and then now you don't have to push yourself into the new behavior.
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You're no longer sitting on the sofa distracting yourself with Netflix and swiping left and swiping right and smoking pot and drinking,
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you're actually out there practicing the new behavior.
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And so number one, we have to understand that discipline is an interdiscipline.
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It's not an external discipline.
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The reason why most people fail in changing their behavior is they haven't changed the psychology that's motivating or preventing the behavior.
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And then number two, what I want to explain to you now is that the confidence that you're looking for, right?
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Because if you notice, like anytime you are feeling undisciplined,
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there's a lack of confidence.
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That confidence is gained through the doing, not before.
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So here's where most people make their biggest mistake.
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They think that the ability to do something well requires the confidence to do it first, right?
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And so what most people do is they're waiting for the fear
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or the doubt or for the discomfort to go away before they do the activity.
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But that's not how it works.
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In fact, it's just the opposite.
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The confidence, the certainty, the comfort level is gained and the fear is eliminated through the doing of the thing.
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And so the first thing we have to do is make sure
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that we're psychologically and emotionally aligned that gives us a capacity to do the thing.
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And we also have to understand that
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even though it would be nice to be confident and certain and good at doing the thing before we do it,
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that's not how it works, right?
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All of those are rewards for being willing to do something imperfectly.
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I look at this show,
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for example, it's got like 240 episodes on the podcast now over the last three and a half years.
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I had to be willing to start recording imperfectly and I had to be willing to record when nobody was listening.
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It was 18 months that I was recording an episode every single week and about 5,000 people a month were listening,
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which is still pretty cool, right?
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But it wasn't until I got to around my 80th episode
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that all of a sudden I started to really get good and I was rewarded algorithmically on YouTube.
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And in one month, I went from 5,000 listens to a million listens on the show.
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But that only happened because I was willing to do it imperfectly.
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And by the way, you can go back
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and listen to some the earlier episodes um i don't think they're bad
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but they're not as good as they are today
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and i got to be honest with you i still get anxious before i get in up
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and speak on stage i still feel a twinge of anxiety before i sit down
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and record an episode there's still an echo of that old identity
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that says hey dave people aren't going to like you you're
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not going to do it right like i lived with
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that for the first 35 years of my life until i got into drug and alcohol and sex addiction recovery.
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And it hasn't completely gone away.
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But what I now understand is I don't need to be perfect.
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I need to take a look at what's going on inside of me.
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What am I thinking and work on transforming that resistance that will make the action and the effort easier.
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And it's still going to be uncomfortable, right?
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But the fear gets quieter every single time.
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You know, one of my mentors said something that I'll never forget.
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He said, in the beginning,
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when you try anything new,
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you're going to suck at it.
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And you're basically going to suck at all of it.
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And if you're willing to stick with the sucking long enough,
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you'll suck a little bit less.
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And if you stick with that long enough,
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you'll actually start to get kind of sort of good at a few things.
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And if you stick with that even longer,
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you'll start to get genuinely good at most things.
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And then eventually, if you stick with that long enough, you'll become great.
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Eventually, people will look at you and go,
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wow, look how masterful he or she is at that.
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but there's no way to shortcut that process.
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The gift is when you've done the inner work first,
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the sucking doesn't take you out, right?
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You're not making the suck mean that you're broken
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and reinforcing the limiting belief that's been trying to prevent you from taking the action in the first place.
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You're just in the practice.
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And this is what discipleship really is.
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This is following a true north and being willing to commit to the practice.
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It's honoring the fact that your inner world outpictures itself.
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And so you do the inner work first in order to make the external action easier.
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It's honoring the fact that you become great at something by being willing to do it imperfectly for a long time.
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That's discipleship.
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That's discipline, right?
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That's honoring who your higher power sent you to be.
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So the question isn't, how do I force myself to be more disciplined?
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The question is, what am I afraid of that's making the behavior so hard in the first place?
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Because when you identify that fear,
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when you name the limiting belief,
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and when you start making new decisions as a practice over and over again,
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the resistance starts to dissolve.
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And then the action that you've been forcing yourself to take becomes the action you naturally want to take.
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So discipline isn't about getting harder on yourself.
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It's about getting clearer with yourself.
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It's a discipline of the mind first and then a practice in the world
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because the truth is you were never undisciplined You were just trying to discipline the wrong things
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So I hope you love this episode as much as I
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loved sharing it with you a couple of things number one
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if you haven't yet subscribed become a member of our community we're growing so quickly because Man this personal growth thing.
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It's not a thing you do on your own It's a thing you do with others
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and if you haven't had an opportunity yet There's a ton of resources in the show notes.
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You can jump on over to davidbear.com You can opt in to our newsletter.
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You'll immediately get a four-part video series as well as download my Mindhack ebook for free.
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And again, if you have questions or comments,
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I've tried to read all of them.
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Just drop them below if you're following along on YouTube.
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And if you're on the audio platforms,
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would love it if you leave a rating and review too.
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But most importantly, I look forward to seeing you in the next episode.
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B2I'm begging you to start journaling
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C1everything you want comes when you let the universe take care of it
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Por que praticar a conversação com este vídeo?
Este vídeo apresenta uma perspectiva inovadora sobre disciplina e motivação, que pode ser extremamente valiosa para quem deseja melhorar a pronúncia em inglês. Ao ouvir e repetir as falas do orador, os alunos não apenas aprimoram suas habilidades de fala, mas também se conectam a conceitos que podem ressoar em suas próprias vidas. A prática da conversação, especialmente através do método de shadowing em inglês, permite que os aprendizes mimetizem a linguagem natural. Isso cria um ambiente seguro e confortável que facilita a aquisição de competências linguísticas.
Gramática e Expressões em Contexto
No discurso do vídeo, o orador utiliza várias estruturas que são fundamentais para o desenvolvimento da fluência. Vamos analisar algumas delas:
- "There's nothing wrong with you": Esta expressão enfatiza a normalidade das dificuldades e ajuda a construir confiança.
- "You can go on YouTube": O uso de "can" aqui mostra possibilidade e é uma estrutura frequentemente utilizada para encorajar ações.
- "It's like you can, if I point a gun to your head": Essa metáfora destaca a ideia de que muitas vezes as pessoas agem sob pressão, uma construção de linguagem figurativa que enriquece a conversa.
- "We want to find a way": O uso de "want to" indica desejo e intenção, fundamentais em qualquer interação em inglês.
Essas expressões ajudam na prática do shadow speak, pois elas são frequentemente usadas em conversações diárias, tornando-as essenciais para o aprendizado.
Traps de Pronúncia Comuns
Durante o vídeo, algumas palavras e sons podem ser desafiadores para os falantes não nativos. Aqui estão alguns exemplos:
- "Discipline": Prestar atenção à sílaba tônica, que pode ser facilmente confundida por falantes de português.
- "Resistência": O "z" no meio pode causar confusão; é importante pronunciar claramente para evitar mal-entendidos.
- "Mastery": A sonoridade suave do "m" em "mastery" pode ser complicado; é essencial praticar essa palavra para melhorar a fluência.
Praticar essas palavras por meio de shadowspeaks pode ajudar na familiarização com a pronúncia correta, tornando a comunicação mais eficaz e natural.
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — uma ação que começou antes e continua | you've been forcing · has been sleeping · that's been trying |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | You've just misunderstood · they've disciplined · You've been given |
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | being undisciplined · be tempted · were programmed |
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.