تدريب Shadowing: Master The Art Of Conversation (Using Psychology) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو
اختر وضع التدريب
كل وضع يفتح غرفة تدريب بملء الشاشة.
266 جمل
إذا كانت الجمل قصيرة أو طويلة جدًا، انقر على Edit لتعديلها.
1
It's easy to get stuck in small talk that goes nowhere.
2
You both feel bored and the conversation fizzles out.
3
But once you understand how deeper connection really works, then conversations become enjoyable, meaningful, and they leave both of you feeling closer.
4
A lot of the time, what you say matters less than how well you listen, how you respond, and the questions that you ask next.
5
So if you master these skills, you can deepen almost any conversation.
6
So in this video, I'll show you two things.
7
First, how to escape that small talk trap.
8
And second, how to move into meaningful conversations that leave you feeling connected.
9
I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman.
10
I'm a clinical psychologist and an author, and I've spent years helping people improve their social skills and build real relationships.
11
And a huge thanks to Notter for sponsoring this video.
12
So you need to get out of information exchange and go deeper.
13
So this means not asking for more and more surface knowledge, but instead getting into deeper topics, like what motivates people, what do they care about,
14
and what is emotionally engaging for them.
15
But if you linger in small talk too long, yeah, it gets boring.
16
Why?
17
Because small talk isn't good at triggering emotions.
18
It calms us down, that's great, that's why we have it.
19
But then we need to trigger some kind of emotion in order for the conversation to be interesting and engaging.
20
Yes, you'll usually start with the boring expected starter questions.
21
I know there's some people who'll tell you to jump straight into deep questions immediately, like, what are you passionate about right now?
22
But in context, like, that's often awkward.
23
it's generally smoother to get there organically.
24
So start from the boring questions but then go pretty quickly into open-ended questions.
25
This will get them talking twice as much.
26
I like how did you come to do x and that really means like what motivated you to do that?
27
Don't focus on what they did, focus on why they wanted to do it.
28
Why did they choose it And what was it like when they did it?
29
Okay, let's look at some examples of how to go deeper quickly from those boring starter getting to know you questions.
30
Boring starter question.
31
Where are you from?
32
We can go into what was it like growing up there?
33
And now you're into the topic of growing up, which is inherently more emotionally resonant and therefore not boring.
34
Maybe were you a troublemaker or a good kid?
35
What were you into in high school?
36
Okay, boring starter question.
37
What do you do?
38
So work for a lot of people is not emotionally resonant.
39
Therefore, it's boring, right?
40
So what do you do?
41
Oh, I manage tertiary accounts for Main Street Capital Solutions.
42
I'm going nowhere with that.
43
But if you can tell that their job is emotionally resonant for them, then try, how did you get into that?
44
Is it what you expected?
45
When did you know this is what you wanted to do?
46
And maybe even like, what do you like about it?
47
If it's boring, then just get off that work topic entirely.
48
Maybe even go back to childhood or growing up, because we know that's emotionally resonant.
49
Like, we can ask, oh, did you always want to do that?
50
Probably not.
51
What did you want to do when you were growing up?
52
Everyone has an answer for this.
53
Okay, boring starter question.
54
Do you live around here?
55
Well, we can make that more interesting by saying, well, how did you decide to move here?
56
Have you ever lived somewhere else?
57
Is there somewhere you've always wanted to live?
58
So desire and change, again, are inherently emotional.
59
And emotion is not boring.
60
Boring side of question, what do you do for fun?
61
So here you can try the favorite, least favorite game, which is pretty enjoyable.
62
So if someone says, oh, I like hiking.
63
Oh yeah?
64
Like, what's your favorite trail?
65
And then you get to figure out why and like what works for them.
66
Like, why do they enjoy this or not enjoy that?
67
Why is it their favorite or their least favorite?
68
Okay, will this work every time?
69
Well, yes, 60% of the time it will.
70
But the benefit of these open-ended questions is that you let people decide how deep they want to go.
71
Some don't want to connect.
72
That is fine.
73
We're not forcing them, right?
74
I know that some people worry that asking these deeper questions is intrusive.
75
So I think of them more like it's an invitation.
76
Some people will accept the invitation.
77
Some won't.
78
It's nice either way.
79
It's easy to assume others won't want to share just because maybe we don't, right?
80
But the research shows us that most people like being asked questions, kind of a lot of them,
81
and they enjoy deeper, more sensitive ones way more than you'd think.
82
But asking better questions is just the first step.
83
To go further, you want to shift how you actually converse with people.
84
So I want you to have this mindset, stop talking like a stranger and instead talk like a friend.
85
So like mentally pretend you're friends.
86
You can look at people and you can tell who are strangers and who are actually close.
87
Strangers are constrained and controlled and stiff and careful and like safely asking the most surface boring questions of all time.
الغرباء مقيدون وخاضعون للسيطرة ومتجمدون وحذرون، ويميلون إلى طرح أكثر الأسطح مملة على الإطلاق بأسلوب آمن.
88
Hope is forever pointing out people who are on first dates because it's just so obvious.
89
When we're closer with people, we're looser.
90
We bounce around between topics, we ask more sensitive questions, we go deep, we joke, we interject, and people like it better
91
when we interact with them in a manner that's closer to friendship than if you were to treat them like strangers.
92
If you talk like a stranger, you will feel like a stranger.
93
So fun conversations move around, covering lots of different topics.
94
boring ones get stuck in one place for too long
95
so allow things to move so stop and think about it like
96
if you look back on great conversations like don't you usually see
97
that we've probably covered a range of different things
98
and maybe even never fully finished any one topic
99
but there always is open loops because one idea sparks another idea and that then is what made it flow right
100
so we want to ride that wave of topics we want to ride
101
that flow so don't just stubbornly stick in the same place
102
and also don't just keep dragging it back to
103
that place I was on a very nice first date many years ago
104
and she was kind and she asked me about what my top five favorite movies were
105
And so I would name one and then we would branch off into it, like why I was into that movie.
106
It would spark another idea and a question and we'd go somewhere.
107
So we were having, honestly, a great conversation.
108
But time and again, she would stop me and say, oh, oh, oh, sorry, we've got off track there.
109
I think you're up to number three.
110
What's number two?
111
This was a bit frustrating, right?
112
The point was not the list.
113
The list was just a starter that could get us exploring
114
and finding more interesting areas where we could have a better conversation.
115
Think of conversation like taking a joyride.
116
So you want to take your conversation partner places that they enjoy.
117
But you can't just ask, hey, what would you want to talk about?
118
Because the social code says it has to feel organic.
119
So what we do is we just keep things moving, transitioning into new topics here and there, and then we notice where do they respond?
120
Like what do they react to?
121
So specifically what you're looking for is for their facial expressions to kind of light up.
122
Like you can see the emotion on their face, or maybe they get more animated, they talk faster, or they start telling you more, like more words come out.
123
So these are all cues that something has triggered an emotion.
124
And again, remember, that's what makes things not boring.
125
So when you see this, dig deeper.
126
Like, what is it about that that's so appealing?
127
What do you like about doing this?
128
You know, I've never done it before.
129
I've always wondered.
130
You can see they've reacted to something.
131
So you dig in on that.
132
Now, this works best if you are genuinely curious too.
133
So maybe think about things that you actually want to know, like their opinions on or like certain qualities they have,
134
or maybe experiences that reveal more of who they are under the surface, right?
135
So when someone's a stranger, they seem more like just a type, like more generic.
136
But to that person's friends, they are a unique weirdo.
137
If you can find out what makes them unique, then you have moved closer to them, somewhere closer where their friends are.
138
When you find those moments where they light up, that's your signal to go deeper.
139
and the best way to do that is to get them recounting stories and memories.
140
When we find interesting or emotionally resonant topics, we want to encourage people to share their experiences and to tell us stories.
141
Maybe you've heard that humans get more happiness from buying experiences than they do from buying stuff.
142
Well, the same is true for talking.
143
We love telling other people about our enjoyable experiences, and it brings us closer.
144
More good news, because we have already lived them, stories that we tell are concrete, meaning we can give details,
145
we can describe the senses, we can relive the emotions.
146
So research even finds that narrating a memory, it amps up the emotion involved.
147
So like let's say they enjoy traveling.
148
Ask them, what's your favorite place that you visited?
149
What was that like?
150
Tell me the story.
151
Will they like this?
152
Well, think about how much people want to share
153
when they come back from a great vacation and how quickly bored most of their friends probably get.
154
One of the hardest situations is when you're in conversations with someone, but you're required to look away to do a task like taking notes.
155
In the research, we know that this is really hard on the other person.
156
In therapy, right, being clearly connected while someone is speaking is
157
so vital that I actually spent years teaching myself to write notes without looking down at the page.
158
But luckily, you don't have to spend years learning how to do this.
159
you can just check out a new device that I've found really helpful lately.
160
Notamemo is a pocket-sized AI voice recorder that captures high-quality audio and transcribes it into text.
161
With the press of a single button, you can record anywhere and know that your words and your conversations are safely captured.
162
It can record in-person meetings without the need for a computer or phone, as well as both sides of a work call, thanks to bone conduction technology.
163
Not-A-Memo records with clarity even in noisy places
164
and everything sinks right into the Not-A-Site where the conversation is transcribed with time-saving summaries and even smart suggestions.
165
Hope and I use Not-A-Memo when we work on our YouTube script ideas.
166
We both love that we can be fully engaged in the brainstorming
167
and the creativity without one of us having to break attention to take notes.
168
So if you want to stop worrying about missing what matters
169
and and start focusing fully on the people in front of you, try the Notter memo with the link below, and use my 20% off discount code to get started.
170
So we don't care about the information.
171
What we care about is the story.
172
Friends don't give each other one sentence AI summaries of what happened, right?
173
They want to take their friend on the journey.
174
They want to tell them the story.
175
And whenever we can converse like friends rather than strangers, We end up closer, right?
176
I will literally say that's so interesting.
177
Tell me the story If they relive the experience and we follow it internally right by listening
178
picturing it then we experience it with them and
179
That is deeply connecting because we have just lived through the same event in our imaginations
180
So when you both feel the same emotions
181
like the excitement as they describe what was about to happen or like we laugh together when something unexpected happens.
182
Research suggests that's our brains bonding as well as using memory to travel into the past.
183
We can also take them time traveling into the future.
184
So have them tell you about things they've always wanted to do but haven't done yet.
185
Like what's on their bucket list?
186
what are they hoping will happen in the future these are emotionally resonant stories too
187
only they exist in imagination rather memory both of which are stored there in the brain
188
okay and
189
if you feel like being really brave with this nothing is
190
more connecting than trading embarrassing stories stories will really connect you if you can listen in the right way if you don't,
191
it will actually cause problems and it cuts off connection.
192
So let's look at how to do it.
193
When you're listening to someone telling you about themselves, especially their experiences, which you want, right?
194
You want to do it in a particular way.
195
Basically, you communicate that you are engaged, like as mentally engaged as when you're talking.
196
Your energy is not directed to what are you going to say next, it's to fully understanding what you're hearing.
197
People don't want to just be listened to, they want to be understood.
198
That is key.
199
Your engagement as a listener can really drive connection.
200
Have you ever talked to people and suddenly you're like, wow, huh, like I'm really funny and I'm good at telling stories.
201
And then you go talk to somebody else and you find that you can kind of barely put your words together.
202
Well, that's the power of a a good listener.
203
A good listener helps this happen.
204
You might have heard elsewhere that active listening is basically parroting back what people say,
205
but in reality that tends to feel robotic and forced.
206
Instead, authentic engaged listening is showing the person that they are getting through to you.
207
So there are a few ways that really help you do this.
208
Back channeling, this is short verbal cues like yeah totally uh-huh wow plus non-verbal cues like nodding
209
or like matching your expressions to what they're saying so like wincing
210
if someone's describing something painful this is especially true
211
when they look at you since if someone is talking to you
212
and they look at you a lot of times they're seeking confirmation that you're still with them that you get it.
213
Next, asking follow-up questions.
214
Ask things that you couldn't say if you weren't actually listening.
215
Get more information about what you're curious about.
216
Refer back to earlier points.
217
If you don't fully understand, ask.
218
Like, oh, what happened next?
219
What did you do?
220
Engage with stories like a child.
221
So think about parents, you know, telling stories to kids.
222
Kids don't sit politely they react they laugh they gasp they ask questions they co-create the story
223
and that's how you want to listen live in the story in your imagination
224
and ask for the missing pieces
225
that are not there this way you help the person tell the story
226
and you help the story come alive
227
so for example i might be like oh man that's crazy
228
like were you scared you're probably like i need to get out of here
229
so these questions
230
which you interject in they make the story more enjoyable for the speaker they make the story more vivid
231
and they also make the speaker feel like they're a better storyteller
232
and in turn that encourages them to say more right
233
and the more they say that's strongly associated with attraction
234
and closeness on the other hand if you don't do this engage listening, it is crushing for people.
235
It causes all kinds of problems to the speaker.
236
They really don't like it.
237
I think back to when I used to teach college psych classes in a room, and most of the students were sort of flat.
238
Some of them were looking, a lot of them were not looking.
239
They were listening, I think, but they were not giving the gift of engagement, because it takes effort.
240
You take on stress, but you actually lower the speaker's stress.
241
And I always really appreciate people that do this.
242
I call this the gift of engagement.
243
It's rewarding for both people.
244
For the person speaking, it literally lights up the reward centers in their brain.
245
And it gives us opportunities for the two experiences that we'll discuss in the next sections, which are the things that lead to deep connection.
246
When you do this and you clearly communicate that you won't judge or criticize, you create psychological safety.
247
So people don't want to open up and connect more deeply otherwise.
248
Like imagine if someone thinks you'll judge or criticize what they say.
249
Well, they're not going to share anything vulnerable and therefore you won't develop a connection.
250
So engage and clearly communicate acceptance and encouragement.
251
We know that doing these things can help reduce their social anxiety and their protectiveness.
252
To really connect deeply, what you're looking for is an overlap between the two of you in who you are,
253
what you've been through and how you see things.
254
So psychologists we sometimes call this shared reality and scientifically it's one of the strongest drivers of deep connection. Of course
255
you won't agree with everything and you don't have to
256
but the worst thing you can do is come across like you think their perspective is wrong or invalid.
257
You may think you're right but that door is getting closed and it's getting locked.
258
So instead, I'd encourage you to focus on where you agree if you're trying to connect.
259
So have you had similar experiences?
260
Have you felt similar emotions?
261
When you find those overlaps, then share them, celebrate them.
262
If they tell you about an exciting time, tell them about an experience you've had that gave you similar feelings.
263
Connection is built by identifying and then leaning into these areas of common ground.
264
Okay, well, it is hard to practice these skills unless you're getting into conversations with new people.
265
So if you want to work on meeting people and mastering small talk, then watch this video next.
266
It is the perfect precursor for starting conversations without the awkwardness.
تنزيل التطبيق
كل ما تحتاجه للتحدث بطلاقة
تقييم النطق بالذكاء الاصطناعيتقييم كل جملة
تدريب IPAأتقن كل صوت
المفرداتابنِ رصيدك من الكلمات
لعبة المفرداتتعلّم أثناء اللعب
نفس القناة
FOR YOU
فيديو موصى به
B27
73 جمل
How to Never Run Out of Things to Say
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
206 جمل
Master English storytelling (secret technique)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
193 جمل
5 conversation habits that make strangers trust you fast
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
350 جمل
English Conversation Practice | 22 minutes of Everyday English Listening | English Podcast
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
256 جمل
English Small Talk Practice: How to Keep the Conversation Going
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B24
49 جمل
How to Deepen Your Friendships
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B27
512 جمل
become ARTICULATE and SPEAK SMARTLY - effective communication 101
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B24
106 جمل
The Secret to Mastering Small Talk (No Matter How Shy You Are)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
149 جمل
Improve your English conversation skills | 6 communication & small talk tips (with examples!)
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B2635
38 جمل
Stop introducing yourself like this.
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B21
248 جمل
How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
B24
213 جمل
The Most Ignored Social Skill (It Changed How People Treat Me)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
المفردات وملاحظات التحدث لهذا الدرس
هذا الدرس في المحادثة بمستوى B2 مبني على الفيديو “Master The Art Of Conversation”. يحتوي هذا الفيديو على 266 جملة و3166 كلمة للتدرب على الترديد. مدة الكلام 19:51. يتكلم المتحدث بسرعة طبيعية، نحو 159 كلمة في الدقيقة، قريبة من المحادثة اليومية. 88% من الكلمات ضمن أكثر 3,000 كلمة شيوعًا في الإنجليزية، فالمفردات سهلة المتابعة. 48 من أصل 266 جملة هي أسئلة، لذلك يناسب التدرب على نبرة السؤال والإجابات القصيرة.
أهم المفردات في هذا الفيديو
أصعب 15 كلمة في الفيديو، مع النطق والمعنى:
| الكلمة | النطق | المعنى |
|---|---|---|
| bore فعل | /boɹ/ | أَمَلَّ |
| emotion اسم | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | عَاطِفَة, عَوَاطِف |
| enjoyable صفة | /ɛnˈd͡ʒɔɪ.ə.bl̩/ | مُمْتِع |
| listener اسم | /ˈlɪs(ə)nɚ/ | مُسْتَمِع, مُسْتَمِعَة |
| converse فعل | /kənˈvɝs/ | تَحَدَّثَ, تَكَلَّمَ |
| relive فعل | /ɹiːˈlɪv/ | أَحْيَا |
| motivate فعل | /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/ | حَثَّ |
| criticize فعل | /ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/ | اِنْتَقَدَ |
| psychologist اسم | /ˌsaɪˈkɑl.ə.d͡ʒɪst/ | نَفْسَانِيّ, عَالِم النَّفْس |
| verbal صفة | /ˈvɜː.bəl/ | كَلَامِيّ, لَفْظِيّ |
| spark اسم | /ˈspɑɹk/ | شَرَارَة |
| invitation اسم | /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/ | دَعْوَة, عزيمة |
| animate صفة | /ˈæn.ə.mət/ | حَيّ |
| brainstorming اسم | عَصَف ذِهْنِيّ, قَدَح ذِهْنِيّ | |
| deepen فعل | /ˈdiːpən/ | تَعَمَّقَ |
الأفعال المركبة التي ستسمعها
| الكلمة | النطق | المعنى |
|---|---|---|
| grow up فعل | كَبُرَ, ْنَشَأ | |
| come out فعل | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | خَرَجَ, غَادَرَ |
| cut off فعل | /ˌkʌt ˈɔf/ [ˌkɐɾ ˈɔf] | قَطَعَ |
| point out فعل | أَشَارَ |
جمل تستحق التكرار
جمل قصيرة وكاملة من الفيديو يمكنك استخدامها في الحديث اليومي:
- Maybe were you a troublemaker or a good kid?
- What were you into in high school?
- Is it what you expected?
- Is there somewhere you've always wanted to live?
- Ask them, what's your favorite place that you visited?
القواعد في هذا الفيديو
أكثر التراكيب التي يستخدمها المتحدث، مع العبارات نفسها من الفيديو:
| التركيب | في الفيديو |
|---|---|
| الجمل الشرطية if + جملة، will/would + فعل — شرط ونتيجته | if someone thinks you'll judge |
| المضارع التام have/has + اسم المفعول — حدث ماضٍ ما زال له أثر الآن | I've spent · Have you ever lived · you've always wanted |
| المبني للمجهول be + اسم المفعول — التركيز على ما يحدث لا على من يفعله | being asked · are constrained · is transcribed |
| جمل الوصل who / which + جملة — معلومة إضافية عن شخص أو شيء | game, which is · people who are · sections, which are |
نطق يحتاج إلى انتباه
يستخدم المتحدث 76 من الصيغ المختصرة، مثل don't, you're, I'm. انطقها بصيغتها القصيرة كما تسمعها.
- أصوات “sh” و“zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, conduction /kənˈdʌkʃən/, tertiary /ˈtɜː.ʃi.ə.ɹiː/
- الكلمات الطويلة — انتبه لموضع النبر: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, inherently /ɪnˈhɛɹəntli/, psychologist /ˌsaɪˈkɑl.ə.d͡ʒɪst/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, organically /ɔːˈɡænɪkli/
أصوات يجدها متحدثو العربية صعبة:
- /p/ — ليس /b/: انطقه مع نفخة هواء: overlap /ˌəʊvəˈlæp/, spark /ˈspɑɹk/, deepen /ˈdiːpən/, parrot /ˈpæɹət/, politely /pəˈlaɪtli/
- /v/ — ليس /f/: مع اهتزاز الأوتار الصوتية: converse /kənˈvɝs/, relive /ɹiːˈlɪv/, motivate /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/, overlap /ˌəʊvəˈlæp/, verbal /ˈvɜː.bəl/
- تتابع الصوامت — لا تضف حركة بينها: resonant /ˈɹɛzənənt/, starter /ˈstɑɹ.tɚ/, cue /kju/, react /ɹiːˈækt/, interject /ɪn.tɚˈd͡ʒɛkt/
كيف تتدرب بهذا الفيديو
- استمع إلى الفيديو كاملًا مرة واحدة دون أن تتكلم، ودوّن الكلمات التي لا تعرفها.
- ابدأ بسرعة 0.75×، وردّد جملة جملة، ثم عُد إلى السرعة العادية عندما يصبح الأمر سهلًا.
- سجّل صوتك وقارنه بالأصل، مع الانتباه إلى كلمات مثل bore, emotion, enjoyable.
ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟
التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.