シャドーイング練習: Master The Art Of Conversation (Using Psychology) - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ

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It's easy to get stuck in small talk that goes nowhere.

You both feel bored and the conversation fizzles out.

But once you understand how deeper connection really works, then conversations become enjoyable, meaningful, and they leave both of you feeling closer.

A lot of the time, what you say matters less than how well you listen, how you respond, and the questions that you ask next.

So if you master these skills, you can deepen almost any conversation.

So in this video, I'll show you two things.

First, how to escape that small talk trap.

And second, how to move into meaningful conversations that leave you feeling connected.

I'm Dr. Thomas Smithyman.

I'm a clinical psychologist and an author, and I've spent years helping people improve their social skills and build real relationships.

And a huge thanks to Notter for sponsoring this video.

So you need to get out of information exchange and go deeper.

So this means not asking for more and more surface knowledge, but instead getting into deeper topics, like what motivates people, what do they care about,

and what is emotionally engaging for them.

But if you linger in small talk too long, yeah, it gets boring.

Why?

Because small talk isn't good at triggering emotions.

It calms us down, that's great, that's why we have it.

But then we need to trigger some kind of emotion in order for the conversation to be interesting and engaging.

Yes, you'll usually start with the boring expected starter questions.

I know there's some people who'll tell you to jump straight into deep questions immediately, like, what are you passionate about right now?

But in context, like, that's often awkward.

it's generally smoother to get there organically.

So start from the boring questions but then go pretty quickly into open-ended questions.

This will get them talking twice as much.

I like how did you come to do x and that really means like what motivated you to do that?

Don't focus on what they did, focus on why they wanted to do it.

Why did they choose it And what was it like when they did it?

Okay, let's look at some examples of how to go deeper quickly from those boring starter getting to know you questions.

Boring starter question.

Where are you from?

We can go into what was it like growing up there?

And now you're into the topic of growing up, which is inherently more emotionally resonant and therefore not boring.

Maybe were you a troublemaker or a good kid?

What were you into in high school?

Okay, boring starter question.

What do you do?

So work for a lot of people is not emotionally resonant.

Therefore, it's boring, right?

So what do you do?

Oh, I manage tertiary accounts for Main Street Capital Solutions.

I'm going nowhere with that.

But if you can tell that their job is emotionally resonant for them, then try, how did you get into that?

Is it what you expected?

When did you know this is what you wanted to do?

And maybe even like, what do you like about it?

If it's boring, then just get off that work topic entirely.

Maybe even go back to childhood or growing up, because we know that's emotionally resonant.

Like, we can ask, oh, did you always want to do that?

Probably not.

What did you want to do when you were growing up?

Everyone has an answer for this.

Okay, boring starter question.

Do you live around here?

Well, we can make that more interesting by saying, well, how did you decide to move here?

Have you ever lived somewhere else?

Is there somewhere you've always wanted to live?

So desire and change, again, are inherently emotional.

And emotion is not boring.

Boring side of question, what do you do for fun?

So here you can try the favorite, least favorite game, which is pretty enjoyable.

So if someone says, oh, I like hiking.

Oh yeah?

Like, what's your favorite trail?

And then you get to figure out why and like what works for them.

Like, why do they enjoy this or not enjoy that?

Why is it their favorite or their least favorite?

Okay, will this work every time?

Well, yes, 60% of the time it will.

But the benefit of these open-ended questions is that you let people decide how deep they want to go.

Some don't want to connect.

That is fine.

We're not forcing them, right?

I know that some people worry that asking these deeper questions is intrusive.

So I think of them more like it's an invitation.

Some people will accept the invitation.

Some won't.

It's nice either way.

It's easy to assume others won't want to share just because maybe we don't, right?

But the research shows us that most people like being asked questions, kind of a lot of them,

and they enjoy deeper, more sensitive ones way more than you'd think.

But asking better questions is just the first step.

To go further, you want to shift how you actually converse with people.

So I want you to have this mindset, stop talking like a stranger and instead talk like a friend.

So like mentally pretend you're friends.

You can look at people and you can tell who are strangers and who are actually close.

Strangers are constrained and controlled and stiff and careful and like safely asking the most surface boring questions of all time.

Hope is forever pointing out people who are on first dates because it's just so obvious.

When we're closer with people, we're looser.

We bounce around between topics, we ask more sensitive questions, we go deep, we joke, we interject, and people like it better

when we interact with them in a manner that's closer to friendship than if you were to treat them like strangers.

If you talk like a stranger, you will feel like a stranger.

So fun conversations move around, covering lots of different topics.

boring ones get stuck in one place for too long

so allow things to move so stop and think about it like

if you look back on great conversations like don't you usually see

that we've probably covered a range of different things

and maybe even never fully finished any one topic

but there always is open loops because one idea sparks another idea and that then is what made it flow right

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so we want to ride that wave of topics we want to ride

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that flow so don't just stubbornly stick in the same place

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and also don't just keep dragging it back to

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that place I was on a very nice first date many years ago

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and she was kind and she asked me about what my top five favorite movies were

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And so I would name one and then we would branch off into it, like why I was into that movie.

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It would spark another idea and a question and we'd go somewhere.

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So we were having, honestly, a great conversation.

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But time and again, she would stop me and say, oh, oh, oh, sorry, we've got off track there.

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I think you're up to number three.

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What's number two?

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This was a bit frustrating, right?

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The point was not the list.

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The list was just a starter that could get us exploring

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and finding more interesting areas where we could have a better conversation.

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Think of conversation like taking a joyride.

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So you want to take your conversation partner places that they enjoy.

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But you can't just ask, hey, what would you want to talk about?

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Because the social code says it has to feel organic.

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So what we do is we just keep things moving, transitioning into new topics here and there, and then we notice where do they respond?

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Like what do they react to?

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So specifically what you're looking for is for their facial expressions to kind of light up.

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Like you can see the emotion on their face, or maybe they get more animated, they talk faster, or they start telling you more, like more words come out.

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So these are all cues that something has triggered an emotion.

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And again, remember, that's what makes things not boring.

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So when you see this, dig deeper.

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Like, what is it about that that's so appealing?

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What do you like about doing this?

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You know, I've never done it before.

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I've always wondered.

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You can see they've reacted to something.

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So you dig in on that.

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Now, this works best if you are genuinely curious too.

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So maybe think about things that you actually want to know, like their opinions on or like certain qualities they have,

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or maybe experiences that reveal more of who they are under the surface, right?

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So when someone's a stranger, they seem more like just a type, like more generic.

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But to that person's friends, they are a unique weirdo.

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If you can find out what makes them unique, then you have moved closer to them, somewhere closer where their friends are.

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When you find those moments where they light up, that's your signal to go deeper.

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and the best way to do that is to get them recounting stories and memories.

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When we find interesting or emotionally resonant topics, we want to encourage people to share their experiences and to tell us stories.

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Maybe you've heard that humans get more happiness from buying experiences than they do from buying stuff.

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Well, the same is true for talking.

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We love telling other people about our enjoyable experiences, and it brings us closer.

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More good news, because we have already lived them, stories that we tell are concrete, meaning we can give details,

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we can describe the senses, we can relive the emotions.

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So research even finds that narrating a memory, it amps up the emotion involved.

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So like let's say they enjoy traveling.

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Ask them, what's your favorite place that you visited?

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What was that like?

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Tell me the story.

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Will they like this?

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Well, think about how much people want to share

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when they come back from a great vacation and how quickly bored most of their friends probably get.

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One of the hardest situations is when you're in conversations with someone, but you're required to look away to do a task like taking notes.

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In the research, we know that this is really hard on the other person.

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In therapy, right, being clearly connected while someone is speaking is

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so vital that I actually spent years teaching myself to write notes without looking down at the page.

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But luckily, you don't have to spend years learning how to do this.

159

you can just check out a new device that I've found really helpful lately.

160

Notamemo is a pocket-sized AI voice recorder that captures high-quality audio and transcribes it into text.

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With the press of a single button, you can record anywhere and know that your words and your conversations are safely captured.

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It can record in-person meetings without the need for a computer or phone, as well as both sides of a work call, thanks to bone conduction technology.

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Not-A-Memo records with clarity even in noisy places

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and everything sinks right into the Not-A-Site where the conversation is transcribed with time-saving summaries and even smart suggestions.

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Hope and I use Not-A-Memo when we work on our YouTube script ideas.

166

We both love that we can be fully engaged in the brainstorming

167

and the creativity without one of us having to break attention to take notes.

168

So if you want to stop worrying about missing what matters

169

and and start focusing fully on the people in front of you, try the Notter memo with the link below, and use my 20% off discount code to get started.

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So we don't care about the information.

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What we care about is the story.

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Friends don't give each other one sentence AI summaries of what happened, right?

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They want to take their friend on the journey.

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They want to tell them the story.

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And whenever we can converse like friends rather than strangers, We end up closer, right?

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I will literally say that's so interesting.

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Tell me the story If they relive the experience and we follow it internally right by listening

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picturing it then we experience it with them and

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That is deeply connecting because we have just lived through the same event in our imaginations

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So when you both feel the same emotions

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like the excitement as they describe what was about to happen or like we laugh together when something unexpected happens.

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Research suggests that's our brains bonding as well as using memory to travel into the past.

183

We can also take them time traveling into the future.

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So have them tell you about things they've always wanted to do but haven't done yet.

185

Like what's on their bucket list?

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what are they hoping will happen in the future these are emotionally resonant stories too

187

only they exist in imagination rather memory both of which are stored there in the brain

188

okay and

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if you feel like being really brave with this nothing is

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more connecting than trading embarrassing stories stories will really connect you if you can listen in the right way if you don't,

191

it will actually cause problems and it cuts off connection.

192

So let's look at how to do it.

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When you're listening to someone telling you about themselves, especially their experiences, which you want, right?

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You want to do it in a particular way.

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Basically, you communicate that you are engaged, like as mentally engaged as when you're talking.

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Your energy is not directed to what are you going to say next, it's to fully understanding what you're hearing.

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People don't want to just be listened to, they want to be understood.

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That is key.

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Your engagement as a listener can really drive connection.

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Have you ever talked to people and suddenly you're like, wow, huh, like I'm really funny and I'm good at telling stories.

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And then you go talk to somebody else and you find that you can kind of barely put your words together.

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Well, that's the power of a a good listener.

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A good listener helps this happen.

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You might have heard elsewhere that active listening is basically parroting back what people say,

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but in reality that tends to feel robotic and forced.

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Instead, authentic engaged listening is showing the person that they are getting through to you.

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So there are a few ways that really help you do this.

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Back channeling, this is short verbal cues like yeah totally uh-huh wow plus non-verbal cues like nodding

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or like matching your expressions to what they're saying so like wincing

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if someone's describing something painful this is especially true

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when they look at you since if someone is talking to you

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and they look at you a lot of times they're seeking confirmation that you're still with them that you get it.

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Next, asking follow-up questions.

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Ask things that you couldn't say if you weren't actually listening.

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Get more information about what you're curious about.

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Refer back to earlier points.

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If you don't fully understand, ask.

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Like, oh, what happened next?

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What did you do?

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Engage with stories like a child.

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So think about parents, you know, telling stories to kids.

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Kids don't sit politely they react they laugh they gasp they ask questions they co-create the story

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and that's how you want to listen live in the story in your imagination

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and ask for the missing pieces

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that are not there this way you help the person tell the story

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and you help the story come alive

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so for example i might be like oh man that's crazy

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like were you scared you're probably like i need to get out of here

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so these questions

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which you interject in they make the story more enjoyable for the speaker they make the story more vivid

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and they also make the speaker feel like they're a better storyteller

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and in turn that encourages them to say more right

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and the more they say that's strongly associated with attraction

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and closeness on the other hand if you don't do this engage listening, it is crushing for people.

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It causes all kinds of problems to the speaker.

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They really don't like it.

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I think back to when I used to teach college psych classes in a room, and most of the students were sort of flat.

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Some of them were looking, a lot of them were not looking.

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They were listening, I think, but they were not giving the gift of engagement, because it takes effort.

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You take on stress, but you actually lower the speaker's stress.

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And I always really appreciate people that do this.

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I call this the gift of engagement.

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It's rewarding for both people.

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For the person speaking, it literally lights up the reward centers in their brain.

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And it gives us opportunities for the two experiences that we'll discuss in the next sections, which are the things that lead to deep connection.

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When you do this and you clearly communicate that you won't judge or criticize, you create psychological safety.

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So people don't want to open up and connect more deeply otherwise.

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Like imagine if someone thinks you'll judge or criticize what they say.

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Well, they're not going to share anything vulnerable and therefore you won't develop a connection.

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So engage and clearly communicate acceptance and encouragement.

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We know that doing these things can help reduce their social anxiety and their protectiveness.

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To really connect deeply, what you're looking for is an overlap between the two of you in who you are,

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what you've been through and how you see things.

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So psychologists we sometimes call this shared reality and scientifically it's one of the strongest drivers of deep connection. Of course

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you won't agree with everything and you don't have to

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but the worst thing you can do is come across like you think their perspective is wrong or invalid.

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You may think you're right but that door is getting closed and it's getting locked.

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So instead, I'd encourage you to focus on where you agree if you're trying to connect.

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So have you had similar experiences?

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Have you felt similar emotions?

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When you find those overlaps, then share them, celebrate them.

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If they tell you about an exciting time, tell them about an experience you've had that gave you similar feelings.

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Connection is built by identifying and then leaning into these areas of common ground.

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Okay, well, it is hard to practice these skills unless you're getting into conversations with new people.

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So if you want to work on meeting people and mastering small talk, then watch this video next.

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It is the perfect precursor for starting conversations without the awkwardness.

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このレッスンの語彙とスピーキングのポイント

このB2レベルのスピーキングレッスンは、動画「Master The Art Of Conversation」を教材にしています。この動画には、シャドーイング用の文が266文、単語が3166語あります。音声の長さは19:51です。話す速さは1分あたり約159語で、日常会話に近い自然なペースです。単語の88%は英語の頻出3,000語に含まれるため、語彙は分かりやすいです。全266文のうち48文が疑問文なので、疑問文のイントネーションや短い受け答えの練習に向いています。

この動画の重要語彙

動画の中で特に難しい単語15語を、発音と意味つきで紹介します。

単語	発音	意味
bore 動詞	/boɹ/	いらいらさせる
emotion 名詞	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	感情, 心緒
enjoyable 形容詞	/ɛnˈd͡ʒɔɪ.ə.bl̩/	楽しい
listener 名詞	/ˈlɪs(ə)nɚ/	聞き手, 聴取者
memo 名詞	/ˈmɛməʊ̯/	メモ
converse 動詞	/kənˈvɝs/	会話する, 談話する
transcribe 動詞	/trænˈskɹaɪb/	転写する
motivate 動詞	/ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/	動機を与える
criticize 動詞	/ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/	批判する, 非難する
psychologist 名詞	/ˌsaɪˈkɑl.ə.d͡ʒɪst/	心理学者
spark 名詞	/ˈspɑɹk/	火花, 火の粉
meaningful 形容詞	/ˈmiː.nɪŋ.fl̩/	有意義な
invitation 名詞	/ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/	招待, 招き
mentally 副詞	/ˈmɛntəli/	精神的に
brainstorming 名詞		ブレインストーミング, ブレーンストーミング

動画に出てくる句動詞

単語	発音	意味
grow up 動詞		成長する, 大人に成る
get off 動詞		降りる
check out 動詞		試験する, 検査する
come out 動詞	/ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/	出る
cut off 動詞	/ˌkʌt ˈɔf/ [ˌkɐɾ ˈɔf]	断つ
find out 動詞		見出す, 調べる
point out 動詞		指す, 指し示す

繰り返し練習したい文

動画に出てくる短く完結した文です。日常会話でそのまま使えます。

Maybe were you a troublemaker or a good kid?
What were you into in high school?
Is it what you expected?
Is there somewhere you've always wanted to live?
Ask them, what's your favorite place that you visited?

この動画の文法

話し手がよく使っている文型を、動画の実際の表現とともに紹介します。

文型	動画での表現
条件文 if + 節, will/would + 動詞 — 条件とその結果	if someone thinks you'll judge
現在完了形 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去の出来事が今も関係している	I've spent · Have you ever lived · you've always wanted
受動態 be + 過去分詞 — 誰がするかより、何が起きるかに焦点を当てる	being asked · are constrained · is transcribed
関係詞節 who / which + 節 — 人や物について情報を加える	game, which is · people who are · sections, which are

注意したい発音

話し手はdon't, you're, I'mなど、短縮形や弱形を76回使っています。聞こえたとおりの短い形で発音しましょう。

「sh」と「zh」の音: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, conduction /kənˈdʌkʃən/, tertiary /ˈtɜː.ʃi.ə.ɹiː/
長い単語（アクセントの位置に注意）: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, inherently /ɪnˈhɛɹəntli/, psychologist /ˌsaɪˈkɑl.ə.d͡ʒɪst/, invitation /ɪnvɪˈteɪʃən/, organically /ɔːˈɡænɪkli/

日本語話者が苦手な音：

/r/ と /l/ の区別 — /l/ は舌先を歯茎につけ、/r/ はどこにもつけない: relive /ɹiːˈlɪv/, inherently /ɪnˈhɛɹəntli/, troublemaker /ˈtɹʌbəlˌmeɪkə(ɹ)/, clarity /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/
/v/ — /b/ にならないように、上の歯を下唇に当てる: converse /kənˈvɝs/, relive /ɹiːˈlɪv/, motivate /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/, overlap /ˌəʊvəˈlæp/, verbal /ˈvɜː.bəl/
/f/ — 「フ」ではなく、上の歯と下唇で出す: meaningful /ˈmiː.nɪŋ.fl̩/, fizzle /ˈfɪzəl/, frustrate /ˈfɹʌsˌtɹeɪt/, scientifically /ˌsaɪ.ənˈtɪfɪkli/, stiff /stɪf/

この動画での練習方法

まず声を出さずに動画を最後まで聞き、知らない単語をメモします。
まず0.75倍速で一文ずつシャドーイングし、慣れてきたら通常の速度に戻します。
自分の声を録音して元の音声と比べます。bore, emotion, enjoyableなどの単語に特に注意しましょう。

シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由

シャドーイング（Shadowing）は、もともとプロの通訳者養成プログラムで開発された言語学習法で、多言語習得者として知られるDr. Alexander Arguelles によって広く普及されました。方法はシンプルですが非常に効果的：ネイティブスピーカーの英語を聞きながら、1〜2秒の遅延で声に出してすぐに繰り返す——まるで「影（shadow）」のように話者を追いかけます。文法ドリルや受動的なリスニングと異なり、シャドーイングは脳と口の筋肉が同時にリアルタイムで英語を処理・再現することを強制します。研究により、発音精度、抑揚、リズム、連音、リスニング力、そして会話の流暢さが大幅に向上することが確認されています。IELTSスピーキング対策や自然な英語コミュニケーションを目指す方に特におすすめです。

シャドーイングのやり方: ステップ別の完全ガイドを読む →

シャドーイング練習: Master The Art Of Conversation (Using Psychology) - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ

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