Shadowing Practice: TBRI® Animate: The IDEAL Response© - Learn English Speaking with Video

When a child from a hard place doesn't feel safe, the result is often behaviors that appear willful, baffling and infuriating to caregivers. How we respond in these moments is critical and TBRI has developed a guideline to help. The IDEAL Response© looks at the levels of behavior with the goal of moving the child to a calmer state. Immediate means dealing with misbehavior within three seconds. Meltdowns are a runaway train. A gentle word and often just the question, "I see you're upset what do you need?" is enough to put on the brakes.

Hunger, dehydration, and a need for sleep are often triggers. Direct isn't glancing up from your phone and yelling across the room. It's responding with direct eye contact, proximity and reassuring touch when possible. Efficient stresses Levels of Response using a kind voice and the fewest words. Caregivers should ask, "What is this behavior saying? What does this child need and how can I teach them to get these needs met?" Action-based can offer a child to do-over instead of punishment. A calm and smiling voice saying, "Let's try that again." followed by praise can create an instructional path and a positive body memory. Leveled at behavior addresses the behavior, not the child, allowing the caregiver to be an advocate not an adversary. When you're reactive instead of proactive, you put your energy in the wrong place and miss the opportunity for a teaching moment. Playful engagement works best when the behavior is at a low level. A redo can defuse the situation quickly. A cheerful, "Can you try that again with respect?" can turn the tide when followed by praise. Structured engagement is needed when the situation has escalated and playful engagement has failed. If a meltdown ensues by offering the child a choice they learn they have a voice. "Can I have a compromise?" said in a firm, calm voice followed by, "Good compromise!" can introduce recognizable scripts a child can understand.

When aggressive behavior looms, nothing is gained by responding in anger or isolation. Calming engagement says, "Here, come sit beside me. You seem to be having a hard time. You let me know when you're ready to talk>" Remaining calm and keeping the child close changes the dynamic. When there's a potential for violence, protective engagement means first removing the child or others from the situation and letting them know that they're safe and not defined by their behavior. Helping the child to breathe and asking what they need can help restore calm. The foundation of TBRI is that behaviors are driven by fear and unmet needs and when we avoid angry punitive behavior ourselves, we open the door to better outcomes for our children.