Pratique du Shadowing: Social Skills Everyone Should Know - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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Full disclosure, one thing I've never been naturally good at as a recovering awkward person is social skills.
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Social skills, the tools we use to communicate, relate, and build relationships.
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Now what's interesting is, as a researcher, as someone who's obsessed with science, I always wanted to know, are there different types of social skills?
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So in this video, I look at the 14 different types of social skills, And I think everyone has a top two or three
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that they're really good at and a bottom two or three
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that they've always wanted to work on or they have to cover up and hide.
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So in this video, I'm going to go through all 14 of those social skills.
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You're going to rate and rank yourself on those social skills, and we're going to find our top three and our bottom three.
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Let's get started.
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The first social skill is linchpin.
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If you were a linchpin, you would say yes to the following statements.
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I am the glue that holds my social group together.
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As a team member, I'm involved in lots of projects and bringing ideas and people together.
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I am the only person who talks to everyone in my family and keeps people in the know.
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So if you said yes to all three of these statements or two out of three of these statements, you are probably a linchpin.
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So linchpin is a specific kind of social skill.
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You are a gatherer.
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You gather ideas and people.
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You bring people together.
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You're like a social glue.
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What's really great about you is typically you're a bridge.
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So you keep groups, companies, teams, families feeling like their relationships are strong and glue is a really,
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really great social skill to have.
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Social skill number two, conversationalist.
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Conversationalists would say yes to the following statements.
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You have been told you are a great conversationalist.
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You are good at both leading and facilitating deep discussions.
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You speak articulately and can easily express yourself.
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So you know if you have the gift of gab, Conversationalists just effer- this is not my skill clearly.
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They effer- little- oh they effer- sorry they effer- little-
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okay conversationalists effer- lit- I don't know why I can't say that.
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Okay this is not my social skill.
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Okay Conversationalists easily make conversation with anyone.
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They are really good at small talk.
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They can chat with their boss.
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They can chat with the guy behind the counter.
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They are really, really good at easily making conversation.
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And typically, you get in long, long overnight discussions.
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You hop on a phone call that ends up being two hours of deep talk where people share their deepest, darkest secrets.
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Being a great conversationalist is actually a specific social skill.
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It's different than a linchpin.
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It's different than the other things we're going to learn.
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It means you have the gift of gap and you should set yourself up to be a great conversationalist, whether that's a listener or a facilitator of deep discussion.
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Social skill number three, comedian.
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Comedians would say yes to the following statements.
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I am funny.
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I love to make people laugh.
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I can always see the bright side of any situation.
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You have probably met a comedian and you remember them for being hysterically funny.
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The interesting thing is, as a social skill, being funny holds its own.
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You might be really funny but not be great at conversation.
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You might be really funny but not be social glue or a linchpin.
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You might be really funny, but not be good at decoding body language.
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Being funny is a very specific social skill.
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It's great for presenting, meetings, hosts.
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You're also good at making people feel at ease.
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The nice thing is, is you can actually work on how to be funny.
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We have a whole guide on our website.
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With all these social skills, you can work on them.
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But I love the how to be funny one because it's one that people don't often think of.
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Social skill number four.
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Speaker.
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Speakers would say yes to the following statements.
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I can captivate an audience.
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I love being on stage or leading a meeting, even on video.
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I love writing speeches, giving toasts, and giving presentations.
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If you said yes to all these three, you are a speaker.
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That is a great social skill to have.
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What we don't realize is we are speaking all the time.
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We're speaking on stages, we're speaking on video meetings, we're speaking when we give a toast.
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Anytime you're giving directions or a statement or a story to more than two or three people, you're speaking.
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This is a great one to work on if you don't have this social skill.
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Social skill number five, influencer.
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Influencers would say yes to the following statements.
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People typically listen to what I have to say.
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I can be very persuasive.
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I am good at pitching myself.
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Influencing is a really helpful social skill to have in business.
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It means people listen to you.
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You can pitch your ideas.
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You have no problem talking about who you are and what you do.
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It also means that you can bring people to your point of view.
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So you're good at clearly expressing an idea and convincing people that they should agree with you.
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Luckily, an influence is another social skill we can absolutely work on.
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And I highly recommend it if you're in sales, marketing, or working with big teams.
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Social skill number six, listener.
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Listeners would say yes to the following statements.
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People always come to you to vent, complain, or talk about their problems.
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You tend to listen more than you talk.
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You are very good at being fully present with people and giving them your full attention.
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So listening is one of my bottom social skills.
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I have to work on it really hard, and that's because I am a high neurotic.
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I tend to worry, and I am always so worried there's going to be an awkward silence.
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So the moment there's any kind of break, I try to hop in, make sure people are okay, make sure they're feeling all right, share a funny story or anecdote because I'm worried
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that they're not having a good time or there's going to be an awkward silence.
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To help myself with this skill, a couple years ago I took a vow of silence.
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You might remember it if you follow me on social media, where I was silent, no writing, no talking for an entire eight day period and I did all my normal things.
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I went to meetings, networking events, just to learn how to be a better listener.
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It was an incredible experience and I highly recommend it if you want to work on this social skill.
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Social skill number seven, magnet.
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Magnets would say yes to the following statements.
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People usually like you.
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You are charismatic and authentic.
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People find you approachable and warm.
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Okay, so I'm totally obsessed with magnets.
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If this is your social skill, I love meeting you.
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I would love to hear from you.
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Magnets are these very rare, special people.
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Very few people have this social skill.
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They're just attractors.
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People want to meet them.
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They want to get to know them.
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The moment they walk into a room, people are just drawn to them.
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I wrote an entire book about magnets.
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Captivate is my study of different magnets who have this natural social skill
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and how people who don't have this social skill can So if you want to be a magnet, I highly recommend checking out Captivate if you haven't already.
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Social skill number eight, Storyteller.
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Storytellers would say yes to the following statements.
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I always have a story to share.
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I save and remember good stories.
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People always ask me to give toasts or introduce people.
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Storytelling is a very specific social skill.
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It's different than being funny.
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It's different than being a good conversationalist.
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We often lump storytelling and being a good conversationalist and humor into the same social skill, but they're actually different.
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You can be an exceptional storyteller, but not very good at chit chat.
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You can be an exceptional story and not very good at being funny or having a good timing with jokes.
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The reason why I point this out is because if you're a good storyteller, you should leverage and strengthen that as much as possible.
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Put yourself in positions where you're telling a lot of stories.
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Or if you're a good storyteller, your toasts, your presentations, your speeches should be focused on stories more than anything else.
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So if you're not a good speaker, but you are a good storyteller, you can use this social skill to leverage the other social skills that you're a little bit weaker in.
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Social skill number nine, nurturer.
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Nurturers would say yes to the following statements.
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You love taking care of people.
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You tend to be a people pleaser and have trouble saying no. You're very empathetic and compassionate.
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So I love nurturers.
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We love to have them in our life because they take care of us.
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Nurturing, empathy, compassion is a very specific social skill.
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When you are a nurturer, I found that these folks, you cannot help it.
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You want to nurture everyone and everything.
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You're always worried about others more than yourself.
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The danger, if this is your skill, this is your top skill, you probably have trouble saying no, you probably have trouble setting boundaries,
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and you might have difficult or toxic people in your life that you have trouble getting rid of.
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So for this social skill, I want to make sure if this is you, you protect yourself.
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Social skill number 10, decoder.
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Decoders would say yes to the following statements.
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I am very perceptive.
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I can usually tell what people are thinking and feeling.
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I'm very good at decoding body language.
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If you said yes to this, you're a decoder.
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Decoders are sleuths.
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You're super perceptive.
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You're typically good at reading between the lines.
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Someone might say something, but you notice a facial expression or a nonverbal tick.
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Decoders are typically very, very accurate at reading people at spotting lies, at spotting deception.
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I studied decoders so much for my lie detection course.
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That is because there's a very small person in the population called truth wizards.
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Truth wizards are naturally good at spotting lies, above average, above average than chance.
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They're just very good at spotting out any kind of inaccuracies.
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The good news is you You can absolutely work on your decoding ability.
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I highly recommend checking out our facial expression guide where you can learn the seven universal micro expressions.
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That's scienceofpeople.com slash face.
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Social skill number 11, leader.
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Leaders would say yes to the following statements.
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I like to empower others.
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People often come to me for guidance.
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I'm better at giving directions than following directions.
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The interesting thing about leadership is it's different than the influence social skill.
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So influencers, you're good at getting people to listen to you, you're good at pitching your ideas, you're good at convincing people.
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But you might not necessarily be leading a team.
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You might not necessarily be leading by taking the pulse of a group.
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Leaders typically are good at influencing, but they're even better at seeing an entire team or a family
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or a baseball team or a group taking the pulse of that group and trying to guide to one direction.
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They can get lots of people to agree with the same idea or go in the same direction or follow directions.
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That's a little bit different than influence, but I wouldn't be surprised if you were good at both leadership and influence at the same time.
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That means you're really set up to be a great leader.
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Social skill number 12, connector.
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Connectors would say yes to the following statements.
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I spend a lot of time and effort networking with others.
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I'm good at building relationships with influential people.
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I've developed a large network of colleagues
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and associates whom I can call on for support when I really need to get things done.
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We desperately need connectors.
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So connectors specifically are good at understanding who should know who.
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You also are very good at building a very robust network that you can rely on.
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You're good at reaching out to people, relying on them, getting social support.
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Connecting is a specific kind of social skill.
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Most people combine being a magnet and being a connector.
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They're actually different.
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Magnets attract people to themselves.
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Connectors bring people together.
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Social skill number 13, dream builder.
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Dream builders would say yes to the following statements.
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You are great at solving people's problems.
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You love to encourage people.
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You're known as a fixer.
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So I love dream builders.
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Dream builders are often cheerleader types.
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So they're really positive, really optimistic.
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You're really good at encouraging and appreciating people.
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Or you're a fixer.
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You're a solver.
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You're good at getting to the heart of the problem.
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You're good at mediating.
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You're good at facilitating.
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People come to you to solve things.
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And those are two typically different kinds.
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Typically, but not always, I notice that fixers tend to be males of this version
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and cheerleaders tend to be females of this social skill.
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Social skill 14, chameleon.
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Chameleons would say yes to the following statements.
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You can get along with anyone.
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You are a floater socially or professionally.
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You have a variety of friends and interests.
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So if you're a chameleon, you are great at adapting yourself. In fact,
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I saved chameleon as the very last social skill because you're probably the person who has a little bit of everything.
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If you said two, if you answered yes to two of every single one, you could be a chameleon.
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That means you're very high in all of them, but you don't specialize in one special thing.
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Chameleons are great because they're super adaptive.
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They can fit into almost any group of people and they're really, really valuable on teams.
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Here's my goal with this video.
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I want you to think of social skills differently.
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Not all social skills are created equal.
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People often think, oh, if I'm going to do a social skills training
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or I'm going to get better at social skills or I'm going to be more likable, that's one skill.
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But actually there are 14 different ways that we can be likable and authentic and charismatic.
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You can have someone who's a very charismatic listener where they don't talk a lot.
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They're great at being empathetic and compassionate.
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Maybe their two social skills are listening and nurturing.
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Versus you can have someone who's very charismatic, who's a great storyteller, a great comedian, and a great influencer.
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And they're always the life of the party.
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They're always running conversations.
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They're always sharing really funny things.
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Those are two different kinds of charisma, but both of those people are charismatic.
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My goal for this is for you to think about how you are charismatic.
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What is your flavor of charisma?
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And work on honing those skills.
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Remember, if you want to really level up these skills, I have an entire online course about this called People School.
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It is 12 of these social skills in depth, in action.
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We actually work through them.
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I give you frameworks and case studies.
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you come into People's School with one big goal and I help you achieve it.
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I hope you'll consider joining me in my next class of People's School or start with Captivate if you haven't already.
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Thanks so much for watching.
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Are you living up to your full potential?
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Do you want more?
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I would love to help you.
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Get started with my free training and learn more about People's School today.
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Visit scienceofpeople.com slash p-school.
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It is effortlessly, effortless, effortlessly.
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They can effortlessly go into conversation.
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I did it.
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I can say that word.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « Social Skills Everyone Should Know ». Les mots qui reviennent le plus souvent : skill, statement, funny. Cette vidéo contient 253 phrases et 2673 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 15:39. Le locuteur parle à un rythme naturel d’environ 171 mots par minute, proche d’une conversation courante. 82 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| magnet nom | /ˈmæɡ.nɪt/ | aimant |
| storyteller nom | conteur, conteuse | |
| chameleon nom | /kəˈmi.li.ən/ | caméléon |
| charismatic adjectif | /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/ | charismatique |
| connector nom | /kəˈnɛktɚ/ | connecteur |
| decoder nom | /dɪˈkəʊdə(ɹ)/ | décodeur |
| linchpin nom | /ˈlɪnt͡ʃˌpɪn/ | cheville, cheville ouvrière |
| listener nom | /ˈlɪs(ə)nɚ/ | auditeur, auditrice |
| captivate verbe | /ˈkæptəˌveɪt/ | captiver |
| influencer nom | /ˈɪnflu.ənsə(ɹ)/ | influenceur, influenceuse |
| glue nom | /ɡlu/ | colle |
| builder nom | /ˈbɪl.dəɹ/ | constructeur, constructrice |
| toast nom | /toʊst/ | pain grillé, toast |
| comedian nom | /kəˈmiː.di.ən/ | humoriste, comique |
| decode verbe | /dɪˈkəʊd/ | décoder |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| check out verbe | mater, regarder |
| cover up verbe | cacher, dissimuler |
| end up verbe | se terminer, se finir |
| go through verbe | traverser |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- You're like a social glue.
- You're also good at making people feel at ease.
- You're very empathetic and compassionate.
- What is your flavor of charisma?
- Are you living up to your full potential?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | I've never been · they've always wanted · have been told |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | have been told · are just drawn · are created |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | person who talks · people who don · person who has |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 78 contractions et formes réduites, comme you're, they're, I'm. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: empathetic /ˌɛmpəˈθɛtɪk/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, sleuth /sluːθ/, empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: conversationalist /ˌkɑːnvɚˈseɪʃənəlɪst/, compassionate /kəmˈpæʃənət/, exceptional /ɪkˈsɛpʃənəl/, facial /ˈfeɪ.ʃəl/, specialize /ˈspɛʃəˌlaɪz/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: conversationalist /ˌkɑːnvɚˈseɪʃənəlɪst/, chameleon /kəˈmi.li.ən/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/, influencer /ˈɪnflu.ənsə(ɹ)/, comedian /kəˈmiː.di.ən/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: linchpin /ˈlɪnt͡ʃˌpɪn/, nurture /ˈnɜːɹ.t͡ʃəɹ/, cheerleader /ˈtʃɪə(ɹ)ˌliːdə(ɹ)/, leverage /ˈlɛv.(ə.)ɹɪd͡ʒ/, approachable /əˈpɹəʊ.t͡ʃə.bəl/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/, decoder /dɪˈkəʊdə(ɹ)/, influencer /ˈɪnflu.ənsə(ɹ)/, builder /ˈbɪl.dəɹ/, nurture /ˈnɜːɹ.t͡ʃəɹ/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme magnet, storyteller, chameleon.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.