Pratique du Shadowing: Supercut: Charlie and Jake Get Into Trouble | Two and a Half Men - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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1
Well, the good news is that a substantial amount of royalties is going to come in in the next couple of months.
2
Great.
3
Problem solved.
4
Let's go out to dinner.
5
No, problem not solved.
6
But I'm hungry.
7
Get used to it.
8
It's going to take a while to pay off all the bills your accountant ignored.
9
So, until then, you're going to have to cut back.
10
But you said I got money coming.
11
Shall I go get the paper cup?
12
Okay.
13
What do we cut?
14
Well, let's look at your expenses.
15
First thing is, we stopped paying your accountant.
16
That's a little cold, isn't it?
17
He's a great guy.
18
I've known him for years.
19
He's just going through a rough patch.
20
Charlie, you're broke.
21
You're right.
22
Screw him.
23
What's next?
24
You have a gardener.
25
Why do you have a gardener?
26
To tend my garden.
27
Garden?
28
You mean the two potted palms on the deck?
29
Water them yourself.
30
Okay, but I'm gonna have to buy a hose and one of those watering things, so isn't that kind of a push?
31
Gone.
32
Now, the ultimate premier satellite package?
33
Oh, that's really cool.
34
I get every sporting event in the world.
35
If a kid in Madagascar throws a rock at a tree, I can see it and bet on it.
36
It's gone.
37
Oh, man.
38
We can keep the cable, though, right?
39
You have satellite and cable?
40
Sometimes there's solar flares.
41
Okay, then cut back to basic cable.
42
Basic cable?
43
That's what they get in prison.
44
Hey, what you doing?
45
Bad time, Rose.
46
Money problems, huh?
47
How did you know?
48
I bought your espresso maker from Berta.
49
I got a great deal because she didn't want to carry it on the bus.
50
Wonderful.
51
Charlie, miscellaneous cash expenses?
52
What exactly is that?
53
I don't know.
54
Go see a movie, buy a hot dog, stuff like that.
55
It was $80,000 last year.
56
Oh, that.
57
That's women and gambling.
58
Gun and gun.
59
Great.
60
Why don't I just shoot myself?
61
You can't afford a gun.
62
You know, I could lend you some money, Charlie.
63
That's very sweet, Rose, but I don't really want to shoot myself.
64
Charlie, the way I see it, you're either going to have to slash expenses or find the money to pay your bills someplace else.
65
Okay.
66
I'll borrow on the house.
67
You've already got three mortgages.
68
Is that a lot?
69
Not if you have three houses.
70
Let me ask you a tough question.
71
What would you think about going to mom for a short-term loan?
72
Hmm.
73
Interesting idea.
74
Hmm.
75
I think I'd rather have a pack of hyenas tear out and devour my intestines.
76
I know, I know.
77
I can't afford hyenas.
78
Morning, Berta.
79
Need some help?
80
Yeah.
81
Come to my house and explain to my daughter that we don't put up bail for cute guys with Costa Rican passports.
82
Morning.
83
I got your groceries, Charlie.
84
You owe me $74.
85
Why didn't you just use my credit card?
86
I tried.
87
Funny story.
88
My platinum card.
89
Look what they did to my platinum card.
90
They decapitated my holographic eagle.
91
Yeah, yeah, that's sad.
92
You owe me 74 bucks.
93
Relax, I'll write you a check.
94
Uh-uh.
95
Bertha, I'm good for $74.
96
Well, there's an assistant store manager with bad skin and a pair of scissors who begs to differ.
97
Well, you obviously made a mistake.
98
Leave it to me.
99
I'll straighten it out.
100
Alan, what do I do?
101
Uh, call the bank that issued the card and figure out what's going on.
102
Good idea.
103
How do we get the number?
104
It's usually on the back of the card.
105
Okay, this may take a while. Are you sure?
106
Okay, thanks.
107
I don't believe it.
108
None of my bills have been paid in four months.
109
My credit is shot.
110
All my cards are dead.
111
Well, you don't have to worry about paying me this week, Charlie.
112
Thank you, Berta.
113
I'll just take this espresso maker and be on my way.
114
Call me when things pick up.
115
Hey.
116
How's the jingle coming?
117
The lyrics are fine.
118
The music needs a little work.
119
How's Jake?
120
Oh, he'll be okay.
121
I stayed over at the house a little while.
122
We watched some movies.
123
I made us some soup and a couple of sandwiches.
124
And Judith suggested I take mine to go.
125
Suggested?
126
Well, she started my car and threw my sandwich in the back seat.
127
That's rough.
128
Listen, I'm afraid I got some more bad news for you.
129
Oh, no. I forgot to bring Porky back.
130
See, that's the thing.
131
Nothing's bringing Porky back.
132
What?
133
Porky's dead?
134
Buddy, buddy, buddy.
135
That's all, folks.
136
Oh, God.
137
Oh, God.
138
It's okay.
139
We can get Jake another guinea pig.
140
Jake will be fine.
141
This is his fourth Porky in three years.
142
He goes through them faster than shoes.
143
This is about my life.
144
Everything is going to hell.
145
Okay, well, don't cry.
146
We can still be friends.
147
What?
148
I'm sorry.
149
It's the only thing I know to say when someone cries around here.
150
I am so sorry, Porky.
151
You just kept running around in your little cage trying to make everybody happy.
152
And what do you get?
153
You get dead.
154
You do know the pig can't hear you, right?
155
Don't you get it?
156
I am the pig.
157
Okay, okay.
158
I'm just asking because your reaction doesn't seem very healthy to me.
159
And what do you think would be healthy, Charlie?
160
I don't know.
161
Why don't we toss Porky in the ocean and go get bombed?
162
How could you?
163
How could you?
164
Okay.
165
Charlie, I'm telling you right now, I'm not gonna sleep with you tonight.
166
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
167
Where'd that come from?
168
Buy you a couple of drinks, invite you back to my house, and all of a sudden you think I want to sleep with you?
169
No. You mean you don't?
170
Hey, we just met.
171
Let's talk, get to know each other.
172
If later down the road something happens, great.
173
If not, we've each made a new friend. That is very sweet.
174
Well, my mother raised me to be respectful of women, and I've always said, son of a bitch!
175
What? That.
176
That's what.
177
Butterscotch candies?
178
In about 30 seconds, they're gonna be butterscotch suppositories.
179
Thank you.
180
Thank you.
181
Well, we have a wild show today.
182
Morning.
183
Morning.
184
Morning.
185
I couldn't help but notice the guys from Goodwill hauling away Alan's hide-a-bed.
186
Oh, yeah.
187
He doesn't live here anymore.
188
No kidding.
189
Alan's gone?
190
Yep.
191
Wow.
192
So you couldn't think for even a second that I might want to hide a bed? want to hide a bit?
193
Sorry.
194
You want some flowered towels?
195
Pass.
196
So what broke your two lovebirds up?
197
He crossed a line.
198
Must have been a big one.
199
Very big.
200
Was it money?
201
Worse.
202
A woman?
203
Worse.
204
What's worse than money in women?
205
He bought an ugly bowl and put it on the front table.
206
No. Then, when I told him to get rid of it, he filled it with candy and put it on the coffee table.
207
Dear God.
208
What kind of candy?
209
Butterscotch.
210
Mmm.
211
I mean the son of a bitch.
212
Are you making fun of me?
213
I'm trying. So what?
214
You think I should just let him.. just let him put a candy dish wherever he wants?
215
No, you're right.
216
He obviously had to go.
217
He's an ungrateful parasite who overstepped his boundaries.
218
Exactly.
219
While you, on the other hand, are a completely reasonable man with no control issues whatsoever.
220
I don't pay you to mock me.
221
Charlie, you'd have to pay me not to.
222
Tell the doctor that if I was a tree, the rash is predominantly around the mossy trunk area.
223
But I'm starting to see some redness on the adjacent boulders.
224
Oh, come on.
225
Tree, two boulders?
226
What part don't you understand?
227
Hey.
228
Hey.
229
Okay, just have him call me.
230
Heard from Jake?
231
Nope.
232
I'll call him at his mom's, see how school went.
233
Alan, does this look infected to you?
234
What?
235
Oh!
236
Get that away from me.
237
I'm not asking you to tickle it.
238
Just take a look.
239
No, thank you.
240
But you're a doctor.
241
I'm a chiropractor.
242
I work with vertebrae.
243
And contrary to popular belief, there's not a single bone in the penis.
244
Oh, hi, Judith.
245
Uh, nothing.
246
I was just talking to Charlie.
247
Hey, is Jake home from school yet?
248
No?
249
Oh, okay.
250
Well, I was just wondering how his first day went.
251
Have him call me, okay?
252
Thanks.
253
Bye-bye.
254
Huh.
255
Hope he didn't wander under the bleachers during lunch hour.
256
Ah, he's smarter than that.
257
Smart?
258
Charlie, he only got out of sixth grade because he couldn't fit in the desks anymore.
259
Well, if you're that concerned, just call him on his cell.
260
Good idea.
261
Well, this is gonna be a sucky weekend.
262
It's nice spending it with an 11-year-old who does nothing but complain.
263
You mean me?
264
No wonder they gotta write your name in your underwear.
265
What am I supposed to do?
266
Watch TV.
267
There's nothing on.
268
Play a video game.
269
I played them all.
270
Read a book.
271
You're right.
272
Who's the moron now?
273
Okay.
274
Here's a rainy day activity.
275
There are 12 college basketball games on this weekend.
276
Dial this number and ask for Coop.
277
Tell him you're calling for Mr. Bo Jingles and write down everything he tells you.
278
Do I get to make some of the picks this time?
279
You got money?
280
If you pay me what you owe me.
281
You're getting an education here.
282
That's priceless.
283
What's going on?
284
Just talking about picking colleges.
285
I like Duke.
286
Over Wake Forest?
287
I got a hunch.
288
You've got him thinking about college already?
289
You're welcome Well, you don't have a fever I told you, he's fine, let's go Charlie,
290
he threw up in your umbrella stand Did you miss that?
291
So, Vegas is full of people who throw up They built that city on a sea of vomit I'm okay,
292
I can go That's the spirit You really want to drive
293
five hours through the desert with a puking kid in the back of your new Mercedes?
294
He can stick his head out the window.
295
Let the guy behind us worry about it.
296
We're not going.
297
Oh, come on.
298
It's probably just something he ate.
299
All right.
300
What have you eaten in the last 24 hours?
301
Well, let's see.
302
Two bowls of Cocoa Puffs, a couple of blueberry Pop-Tarts, a bag of string cheese.
303
That reminds me, we need more string cheese.
304
Then for lunch, a Hot Pocket and a bagel bite.
305
Then dinner, Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and a bologna sandwich.
306
Okay, it's not what he ate.
307
Then for snack, I had a glass of tang and some Cheetos.
308
That explains the orange vomit.
309
It's probably some kind of stomach virus.
310
Oh, please, I throw up all the time.
311
It's just nature's way of saying, everybody out of the pool.
312
I'm putting him to bed.
313
Come on.
314
They have beds in Vegas?
315
What if he needs a doctor?
316
They have doctors in Vegas?
317
I bet if we looked around, we could find a casino with a hospital theme.
318
You know, Caesar's Sinai or something?
319
I'll get it.
320
Hello?
321
Hey, Mom.
322
Fine.
323
Nothing.
324
Oh, yeah, I threw up an Uncle Charlie's umbrella stand, and we're going to Vegas.
325
No!
326
What kind of a father are you?
327
Hey, I am a good father.
328
The minute he threw up, I canceled the trip.
329
But you were planning to take my 11-year-old child to Las Vegas.
330
It's really a family town now.
331
The mob hardly has any influence at all anymore.
332
Oh, good, Charlie. That helps.
333
When were you planning on telling me about this trip?
334
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, Mom.
335
Oh, good, Jake. That helps.
336
Honey, why don't you go lie down?
337
Why?
338
I'm fine.
339
Uncle Charlie, is it too late to get our bets down with Coop?
340
What bets?
341
Who's Coop?
342
Go lie down.
343
You're delirious.
344
Charlie, Charlie, come here.
345
Say hello to your Uncle Charlie.
346
Hey, Uncle Charlie.
347
Hi, Jake.
348
I can see you.
349
I can see you too. So, what's new?
350
How much?
351
What's new with you?
352
Nothing.
353
Oh, wait, I Googled you, and you'll never guess what I found.
354
Jake, are you in the bathtub?
355
Yeah, got to go.
356
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, Jake, what are you talking about?
357
What's he talking about?
358
I don't know.
359
but if you Google me, you'll find two pages that mention my San Fernando Valley Chiropractor of the Year award.
360
That's nice.
361
Get out of the way.
362
Oh, uh, careful.
363
There's, uh, there's another Alan J.
364
Harper.
365
Uh, he's a school bus driver, and he also makes these, uh, decorative pigs out of bleach bottles and pipe cleaners.
366
I'm not Googling you.
367
I'm Googling me.
368
Hmm.
369
Uh-oh.
370
CharlieHarperSucks.com It's got to be a different Charlie Harper.
371
Okay.
372
I have a bad feeling.
373
Oh, boy.
374
Oh, man.
375
Oh, crap.
376
Are you still reading that thing?
377
How can I not?
378
It's an entire website devoted to trashing me.
379
Listen to this.
380
Has anybody had sex with Charlie where he actually bothered to take his socks off?
381
It's just mean.
382
I have bad circulation in my feet.
383
They get cold.
384
Check this out.
385
Some girl posted audio off her answering machine.
386
Hey, it's me.
387
I just wanted to tell you I had a great time last night.
388
I'm looking forward.
389
Hello, Charlie.
390
Yeah, hi.
391
We weren't together last night.
392
Uh, Allison?
393
No, Beth.
394
Thursday.
395
I had a great time with you Thursday, and I thought that...
396
Oh, Alan, what am I going to do?
397
Every woman in the city can see this stuff.
398
Every woman in the world.
399
Oh, God.
400
Well, you know what they say.
401
Any publicity is.. good publicity.
402
No, no, no, no. What I do requires secrecy.
403
I need shadows and darkness.
404
I'm like a magician.
405
If everybody knows how I do it, it ceases to be entertaining.
406
Frequently asked questions.
407
Don't read that.
408
Yeah, right.
409
Okay, question.
410
How long can you expect to date Charlie after you have sex with him?
411
Answer.
412
It depends how late you sleep the next morning.
413
Oh, come on.
414
This is funny.
415
You're just too close to him.
416
Is this the new Oshikuru Demon Samurai?
417
Yeah.
418
What are you doing with it?
419
It's being turned into a Saturday morning cartoon, and they asked me to write the theme song.
420
Awesome.
421
Yeah?
422
Want to hear what I got so far?
423
Sure.
424
So I'll be like the first kid in the world to hear this.
425
Yep.
426
Now, this is just a rough version, but you get an idea of the feel of it.
427
Okay.
428
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru.
429
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru.
430
My oh my, he's a demon samurai.
431
Who's the guy who had to die?
432
Oshikuru.
433
Boy, that really blows.
434
Excuse me?
435
Did you even read the comic?
436
Yeah, I looked it over.
437
Oh, really?
438
Oh, really?
439
What's it about?
440
Uh, it's about this guy named Yoshikuru who dies and comes back as a, what do you call it, samurai.
441
And he's a demon.
442
No, it's about a teenage boy in a futuristic society who's
443
possessed by the tortured soul of a fetal Japanese warrior condemned to walk the earth fighting the evil he once embodied.
444
So what's your point?
445
He lives in a dark world.
446
He battles the spirits of the damned.
447
Your thing doesn't capture the mood at all.
448
It just blows.
449
OK, OK, you said blows already.
450
Did I say big baby chunks?
451
All right, fine.
452
Thanks for your input.
453
Now why don't you go read Lord of the Flies and let me do my job.
454
Well, if your job is ruining a great comic book, you can call it a night.
455
I heard that.
456
Good.
457
Hey, it's Arne.
458
Oh, oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru.
459
Oh, oh, oh, Oshikuru.
460
My, oh, my, he's a demon samurai.
461
Who's the guy who had to die?
462
Oshikuru.
463
That's not what we wrote.
464
That's your original sucky version.
465
What can I tell you?
466
A network like that one better.
467
What are they, brain damaged?
468
Welcome to show business, kid.
469
I still think it's snappy.
470
What are you doing?
471
I'm working.
472
You're not going to get much done with the TV on.
473
What are you, my mother?
474
Your mother's just at two?
475
Listen, when you write music for a living, you have to wait for inspiration.
476
Nope, not yet.
477
Hey, Charlie.
478
You want to come to the movies with us?
479
He can't.
480
He's working. On what?
481
Liver failure?
482
Wonderful.
483
He's my mother, you're my doctor.
484
Oh, I assume you finished reading Lord of the Flies for your book report?
485
Uh-huh.
486
Oh, good.
487
How'd you like it?
488
I thought it was a timeless American classic.
489
I see.
490
So tell me, what's it about?
491
You mean the book?
492
Yeah, the book.
493
Um, it's called Lord of the Flies.
494
And it's about a really big fly that all the other flies pray to.
495
You thought he didn't read it.
496
Oh, I was just joking.
497
It's more like Charlotte's Web, but from the flies' point of view.
498
Oh, Jake, you've had more than a week.
499
Well, why didn't you read the book?
500
Um, I've been waiting for inspiration.
501
Atta boy.
502
Okay.
503
How's this for inspiration?
504
We're not going to the movies, and you're not doing anything else until you finish reading that book.
505
That's not fair.
506
Of course it's fair.
507
We had a deal, and you didn't keep your end of it.
508
Oh, so now two more likes to make a right?
509
Bet you didn't see that one coming.
510
Look, Jacob, you're really gonna like this book I like this book if you give it a chance.
511
It's about kids stranded on a deserted island.
512
How'd they get stranded?
513
Their plane crashes.
514
Oh, really?
515
Then what happens?
516
Well, one kid named Ralph becomes their leader and they form the society and...
517
Just read the book.
518
One big fly, huh?
519
Hey, I took a shot.
520
Honey, I'm home. In the kitchen.
521
Kids okay?
522
How's the beaver?
523
Everybody's fine.
524
How's Vegas?
525
You know, the usual.
526
How was your weekend?
527
Pretty good.
528
I met a girl.
529
Did her name happen to be Gretchen?
530
Yellow?
531
That's an indelible marker, you know.
532
I know.
533
Don't worry, it'll come off in a few weeks.
534
That's what I figured.
535
Does she still have her little mustache?
536
You know, down at the Russian front?
537
I wouldn't know what she's got.
538
I was blindfolded and hogtied.
539
Right.
540
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
541
No reason.
542
Why don't you take them off?
543
Okay, fine.
544
You might as well know.
545
bar fight.
546
Oh, no, what happened?
547
Some bikers were giving a stripper a hard time, so I jumped in.
548
You're kidding.
549
You know me, I can't stand to see a naked, high-heeled, glitter-covered ping-pong ball shooting a woman in distress.
550
Wow, that sounds very brave.
551
Good for you.
552
Thank you.
553
Charlie?
554
Yeah?
555
If you're going to go with that story, you might want to ask mom to stop telling people you had your eyes done.
556
Damn.
557
The mummy strikes again.
558
You know, it's actually not a bad look.
559
Shame one guy had to ruin it for everybody.
560
Are you sitting against a military school?
561
No. Why would you think that?
562
I don't know, 16 years of bargain pizza with fake cheese and Sam's Club vanilla wafers for dessert.
563
I don't want to go to military school.
564
No one's going to military school.
565
But there is something we wanted to talk to you about.
566
Here it comes.
567
Relax.
568
It's good news.
569
Alan?
570
All right.
571
As you both know, Lindsay and I have been dating now for six months.
572
Oh, man.
573
Did he knock you up?
574
No. Just be quiet and listen.
575
Anyway, we've both grown very fond of each other during that time.
576
You are using protection, right?
577
That's none of your business, but I'm glad you're paying attention in health class.
578
But what I'm trying to say is that Lindsay and I have decided to live together.
579
I don't think Uncle Charlie's gonna like that.
580
He's never been real pleased that you and I moved in.
581
No, no, no. We're gonna live at Lindsay's and Eldridge's house.
582
But I stay here, right?
583
No. When you're not at your mom's, you'll be with us.
584
So I'm losing my weekend beach house?
585
Yeah, but you're gaining a whole family.
586
I'd rather have a weekend beach house.
587
Wait, do I have to share my bathroom with him?
588
Eldridge.
589
What's wrong with sharing a bathroom with me?
590
I like my privacy.
591
Yeah, we all know what that's about.
592
Jake!
593
You're Mr. Whack-a-mole, not me.
594
Yeah, well, at least I don't watch gay porn.
595
That was a total accident!
596
I don't want to live with him.
597
Well, you don't have to worry about it, because I'm not going.
598
Guys, guys, come on!
599
No!
600
Forget it.
601
I mean, it's bad enough you're sleeping with this loser.
602
Aldridge!
603
Are you calling my dad a loser?
604
You call him a loser all the time.
605
He's my dad.
606
I'm allowed.
607
Well, Jake, technically you're not allowed.
608
Is it okay for me to call your mom what you call her?
609
What do you call me?
610
Okay, we've gotten off track here.
611
Who's ready for cupcakes?
612
Screw you and your cupcakes.
613
Yeah.
614
I'll just take one for later.
615
Hey!
616
Hey there.
617
Oh, there.
618
What are you doing?
619
Just thought I'd help you get a jump on the packet.
620
Oh.
621
Oh, well, you can unpack, because I'm not leaving.
622
What?
623
No. The boys just won't go along with it.
624
You're giving those two morons a vote?
625
It's too traumatic.
626
You know, turning their lives upside down. So?
627
Let them be traumatized.
628
That's the trouble with kids these days, not enough trauma.
629
Charlie, I'm sorry.
630
I know you were looking forward to having the house back to yourself, but it's just not going to happen.
631
Oh, it's going to happen.
632
As God is my witness and by all that's holy, it's going to happen.
633
Amen.
634
Keep packing.
635
He couldn't spell miscellaneous.
636
It's my life and my house.
637
I don't need your permission.
638
I don't care.
639
I'll just go live with Dad and Stephanie.
640
Oh, won't that be nice?
641
You'll be reunited with your old babysitter.
642
Excuse us.
643
Walk.
644
Dude.
645
Don't dude me.
646
I'm in no mood for dude.
647
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
648
Oh, God.
649
Dude.
650
Don't dude him, dude.
651
All right.
652
What's this I hear about you guys not wanting to live together?
653
I want my privacy and I think things are fine the way they are.
654
It was a rhetorical question.
655
I don't give a rat's ass.
656
Now, the happiness of your parents is at stake here.
657
So, we're gonna reason this out like adults in the interest of all involved.
658
Here's $500.
659
Split it up any way you want.
660
Nice.
661
And that's just a down payment.
662
There's an extra $100 in it for every month you keep my brother out of my house.
663
$100 a month?
664
That's like $1,000 a year.
665
Most.
666
Do we have a deal?
667
Deal.
668
Great.
669
I should write a book on parenting.
670
How are we supposed to split this?
671
I don't know, dude.
672
No matter how I figure it, there's gonna be one left over.
673
I'm never gonna drink again.
674
Quitter.
675
Charlie.
676
Oh, right.
677
Attaboy.
678
Here's your wastebasket.
679
I rinsed it out, but there are still some tiny chunks in the weave.
680
Maybe you could use your dad's water pick.
681
Give the kid a break, Berta.
682
He's hungover.
683
Oh, the poor dear.
684
Next time, tell your friends to puke out the window.
685
Want to know a surefire hangover cure?
686
Never stop drinking.
687
Charlie, let me finish.
688
Or never start in the first place.
689
See how I turn that around?
690
Bring it home, Dr. Cosby.
691
All right.
692
For starters, you and Eldridge stole a beer that did not belong to you.
693
That is not how I raised you.
694
Hey.
695
Hey.
696
Jake's friend show up?
697
Yeah, he's here.
698
When's he leaving?
699
I said he could spend the night.
700
Really?
701
Did you consider clearing it with me?
702
You would have said no to Jake having a friend over?
703
If you recall, seven years ago, I said no to having Jake over.
704
And yet, here he is.
705
So what's the point in asking?
706
Fine.
707
What do we know about the little drummer boy?
708
Not much.
709
Jake says he's one of the cool kids at school.
710
Why is he hanging out with Jake?
711
You're saying my son's not cool?
712
I'm saying your son got his tongue stuck to the freezer last weekend.
713
That could have happened to anybody.
714
Anybody who tried to pick up an Eskimo pie with their tongue.
715
His hands were full.
716
With a honey-baked ham.
717
Okay, so he's not cool and he eats a lot of crap
718
and his grades aren't the best and his personal hygiene is a little sketchy.
719
Is there a butt coming?
720
Butt?
721
He's my son.
722
And I love him.
723
What's so funny?
724
Mom says the same thing about you.
725
Really?
726
Mom says she loves me?
727
Hey, Charles.
728
So when you say a bunch of you stayed to clean up, how many are you talking about?
729
I don't know.
730
A couple.
731
Uh-huh.
732
You know, technically, a couple is two.
733
So are you saying there were two people in addition to you and Brad or just you and Brad?
734
What are you getting at?
735
Nothing.
736
Just trying to get an accurate head count.
737
You could have come with me, you know.
738
I know.
739
It'd be nice for us to do some things together once in a while.
740
We'd do plenty of things together.
741
Besides sex.
742
Oh.
743
When Brad's wife was alive, they played tennis every day.
744
Probably what killed her.
745
She was hit by a car.
746
Maybe she was chasing a tennis ball.
747
You know, like a dog.
748
You throw it, you run after it, even if there's traffic.
749
Goofy dogs.
750
What the hell is that?
751
Two guys in a cage beating the snot out of each other.
752
I can't believe I wasted so many years watching cartoons.
753
Turn it down.
754
Hi, Captain Douche.
755
We need to talk about Brad.
756
No, no, we don't.
757
I'm sorry.
758
I trust you, and I was totally and completely wrong to think there might be something going on between you two.
759
Thank you for that.
760
You're welcome.
761
Okay, let's go home.
762
Hold on, I do have a confession to make.
763
Oh, this is never good.
764
The reason I got so upset by the things you said was because, well, you kind of touched a nerve.
765
Yeah, I do that.
766
I'm a nerve toucher.
767
Runs in the family.
768
Okay, well, confession's over.
769
You forgive me, I forgive you.
770
Let's go home.
771
I'm not done.
772
Ah, crap.
773
Thing is, I was kind of attracted to Brad.
774
He's a great guy, and we have a lot in common.
775
and he loves his family and really cares about his friends and his community.
776
I'm taking from your tone that stuff's important to you.
777
Yes, Charlie, it's important to me.
778
Okay.
779
Did you and Brad do anything other than talk?
780
Of course not.
781
Nothing's happened.
782
Oh, thank God.
783
But while I do love you, I need to know you care as much as I do.
784
I do.
785
You say that, but are you willing to really work on our relationship?
786
Of course I am.
787
We can start doing things together, community things.
788
You know, with the kids that are poor and the old people that fall and can't get up.
789
What about your family?
790
I'll get a new family.
791
I'm telling you, I can change.
792
I can be a better man.
793
The man you want me to be.
794
And I promise you...
795
Excuse me.
796
Oh, my God!
797
I'm so, so sorry.
798
You threw up on my baby.
799
Anyway, to be fair, I don't think the carrots were mine.
800
Get away from him, pig!
801
I'm sorry.
802
I'm sorry.
803
Cute kid.
804
Chels?
805
I just
806
got a call from Chelsea.
807
Yeah?
808
She said she wants to postpone the wedding.
809
I know.
810
I'm sorry.
811
Thanks.
812
Believe it or not, I do love you.
813
And I hate to see you hurt.
814
Yeah, well, I guess I kind of had it coming. But you tried.
815
I did.
816
I just have one question.
817
What's that?
818
Did you really vomit on a baby?
819
Don't beat yourself up too much.
820
We've all done that.
821
You're kidding.
822
Of course, most of us do it on our own babies.
823
Hey, Jake, what's this, a phone message?
824
Yeah, some lady called for you. Who?
825
I can't read your writing.
826
You're a big, selfish jerk.
827
Okay, I know who this is.
828
Amy.
829
Probably Amy.
830
Yep, Amy.
831
She wants you to call her back.
832
Yeah, that'll happen.
833
Why not?
834
Because I never said I'd call her back.
835
Remember this, Jake.
836
Never make promises to women that you don't intend to keep.
837
And you know how you do that?
838
Always keep my promises?
839
That might work.
840
A better way is never make promises.
841
What happens if Amy calls again?
842
Okay, I'm glad you asked that.
843
When the phone rings in Uncle Charlie's house, we don't just willy-nilly pick up the receiver and answer it.
844
No. What we do is we check the caller ID and only pick up if we want to talk to that person.
845
Like Mom? That depends.
846
Your mom?
847
Yes.
848
My mom?
849
No. How come you don't want to talk to your mom?
850
I'll tell you all about that when you're old enough to drink.
851
What if I want to talk to your mom?
852
Okay.
853
That kind of attitude is going to break down the whole system.
854
I really want to apologize for putting you through this.
855
I was wrong to blame you for my unhappiness.
856
No, no need to apologize.
857
What's important is that we're here and we're working on our marriage.
858
You look great, by the way.
859
Must be all the extra oxygen they pump into the casinos.
860
Alan.
861
And you were right.
862
I see now that the time apart did us both a lot of good.
863
I know I've grown.
864
I am not that suffocating guy you threw out of the house four and a half days ago.
865
Let me tell you that.
866
Alan.
867
And Jake's doing fine.
868
I know you were concerned about him being around my brother, but it turns out Charlie's great with kids.
869
All right.
870
Last card.
871
Down and dirty.
872
King's bet.
873
Dollar.
874
I'm in. In.
875
I'll see the dollar and raise it five.
876
You raised five dollars on that?
877
I call five dollars.
878
Queens, full of nines.
879
Hey, kid, don't you know what a full house is?
880
Yeah, and I'll also know what a psych-out is.
881
I love this boy.
882
And I think that we're going to look back on this as a new beginning for our marriage, a rebirth, a renaissance, if you will.
883
Alan, I think I'm gay.
884
All right.
885
We'll make a list.
886
On one side, we'll put gay stuff.
887
I'll see you and raise you 20.
888
Think he's got you, pal?
889
He's bluffing.
890
He always pulls his ear on your buffs.
891
By the mighty mouse, you win.
892
Take him down.
893
Call you.
894
I hate this kid.
895
What the hell is going on here?
896
You said hell.
897
Throw a dollar in the pot.
898
What?
899
Hey, we all had to.
900
Charlie, may I speak with you privately, please? Who steals it?
901
Jake, go to bed!
902
I'm out.
903
Hey, where have you guys been?
904
Van Nuys.
905
What were you doing in Van Nuys?
906
That's where the jail is.
907
What?
908
I got arrested.
909
You're kidding.
910
What for?
911
Apparently I ran a red light at 64 miles an hour.
912
And I was in the passenger seat.
913
Yes, I was driving, therefore you were in the passenger your seat.
914
Anyway, it turns out I had a couple of unpaid parking tickets.
915
17. Thank you.
916
They arrested you for unpaid parking tickets?
917
Well, there was also a bench warrant when I didn't show up in court.
918
Well, how could you not show up in court?
919
Don't they send you a summons?
920
Lots of them, but I threw them away.
921
I thought they were for jury duty.
922
Long story short, when I didn't show up, they suspended my license.
923
And I was in the passenger seat.
924
So you were driving with a suspended license?
925
Only for a couple of years.
926
Luckily, though, my license was fine, so when they took them to the police station, I followed in the Mercedes.
927
By the way, I reset all your radio stations to good stuff.
928
I'd like to be alone now, Jake.
929
Understandable.
930
You've been through a lot.
931
By the way, if you need anyone to drive you to the movies, with a mall or a strip club, I'm available.
932
Appreciate it.
933
And you can just relax in the passenger seat, like I did earlier today.
934
Get out!
935
All right.
936
I put Jake to bed, I folded the laundry, I put the groceries away.
937
The guilt thing doesn't work on me, Alan.
938
Yeah, well, that's all I got.
939
I'll be back in a little while.
940
Where are you going?
941
Oh, I have to bring the garbage cans back in.
942
Today wasn't garbage day.
943
Oh, no, not here, at Judith's. At Judith's?
944
Alan, your wife threw you out.
945
Yeah, well, that doesn't mean she doesn't need me.
946
Yeah, it kind of does.
947
Well, look, we're still married.
948
It's still my house, and she still counts on me to do a few chores.
949
It's good.
950
It leaves the door open for, you know, reconciliation.
951
I see.
952
So how do you lift those garbage cans without a spine?
953
They're on wheels.
954
What are you watching?
955
I'm watching a movie.
956
And you're not supposed to be watching anything.
957
Oh, yeah.
958
Is that guy a good guy or a bad guy?
959
Good guy.
960
And you're not supposed to be watching TV.
961
I know. Is that his girlfriend?
962
Ex-girlfriend.
963
But he still loves her, right?
964
I'm not gonna walk you through the whole movie.
965
I think so.
966
Go to bed, Jake.
967
Okay.
968
Who's that guy?
969
That's the guy who's in jail with and told him where the money was hidden.
970
Oh, right.
971
Hey, you're being punished.
972
No TV.
973
I know.
974
What the hell is going on?
975
Jake?
976
Mike.
977
Hey, I'm watching that.
978
What part of no TV didn't you understand?
979
Oh, man.
980
Shoo?
981
Meep, meep.
982
Jake.
983
Jake.
984
It was on when I came in.
985
Yeah, right.
986
What did I tell you about leaving juice boxes on my piano?
987
How do you know it's mine?
988
Oh, come on.
989
Who else around here drinks Transylvania Goofy Juice?
990
Good point. And another thing.
991
Were you on the deck feeding the seagulls again?
992
Sorry, I forgot.
993
Okay.
994
We need to talk.
995
Love you, Uncle Charlie.
996
Look, we don't feed the seagulls because you can't get rid of them.
997
And we don't leave the doors and windows open because we get all kinds of bugs and crap flying in the house.
998
Okay.
999
No, no, no. Don't just say okay.
1000
This is not the grown-up telling the kid what to do.
1001
This is just two guys agreeing how to live together.
1002
Are we cool?
1003
Yeah, cool.
1004
Jake?
1005
What you got there?
1006
Just a little bread.
1007
Please tell me you're not feeding the seagulls again again okay
1008
did you let another one of those big flappy bastards in
1009
the house you have to put it on a drawer jar
1010
you some bastards smart poke the bear I'm telling you Jake this is the last yikes
1011
I got to get Gail out of here before I do something I'm going to regret.
1012
You know, after I thoroughly enjoy it.
1013
Just tell her to leave.
1014
I can't do that.
1015
She's Chelsea's best friend.
1016
They were college roommates.
1017
Really?
1018
You think they experimented?
1019
Oh, yeah.
1020
I gotta figure out a way to get Gail to leave on her own.
1021
You got the perfect tool for the job.
1022
What are you talking about?
1023
The one tool that's guaranteed to drive any woman out of your house.
1024
Hello.
1025
Oh, look.
1026
It's an Allen wrench.
1027
What was that about?
1028
Nothing.
1029
Nothing.
1030
I was just telling Berta that maybe I was wrong about you not having a shot with Gail.
1031
Why?
1032
Did she say something?
1033
Did she ask about me?
1034
Uh-oh.
1035
Charlie.
1036
Charlie!
1037
No way, Alan.
1038
I really think you need to wake up now.
1039
Shh.
1040
Chelsea's sleeping.
1041
Perhaps, but not here.
1042
What the hell is your problem?
1043
Oh, dear.
1044
What happened?
1045
I don't know.
1046
Who is she?
1047
I don't know.
1048
What the hell do you know, Ellen?
1049
I know.
1050
We're in a strange woman's bed.
1051
Together.
1052
Make it.
1053
Let's get the hell out of here.
1054
Good idea. Do you remember anything?
1055
I remember we were in Pavlov's.
1056
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1057
You were hitting on some chick.
1058
Guess it worked.
1059
Hey, I don't remember how I did it.
1060
Ellen, focus.
1061
Okay, right, right.
1062
I think there was something about a trailer in Sun Valley. Are we in Idaho?
1063
No mountains, no snow.
1064
Why are you wearing my underwear?
1065
Why are you wearing mine?
1066
Oh, boy.
1067
Let's just go.
1068
Should we leave her a little note?
1069
What?
1070
You know, thank you.
1071
Maybe my phone number.
1072
Are you crazy?
1073
Just keep moving.
1074
But she's cute, and I'm gonna need a plus one for your wedding.
1075
Oh, my God, my wedding.
1076
You're right.
1077
It could be awkward.
1078
You are a misogynist.
1079
You are a mistake.
1080
You are a...
1081
What are we up to?
1082
N. Thank you.
1083
Uh, you are a necrophiliac.
1084
She was drunk, not dead.
1085
I challenge.
1086
Okay, fine.
1087
You're a narcissist.
1088
Better.
1089
You are a Nancy boy.
1090
You are old.
1091
You are odd.
1092
...ly shaped.
1093
Hang on.
1094
You are a parasite.
1095
Not your turn.
1096
Hello?
1097
Oh, hey, Judith, what's up?
1098
What do you mean, what happened with Jake?
1099
We had a nice weekend.
1100
Well, we went driving to the movies, um, ice cream?
1101
Quack, rectal, suck one.
1102
I never got my pee.
1103
All you do is pee.
1104
What?
1105
What?
1106
Nothing.
1107
Little word game.
1108
You know, exercise the brain.
1109
Twit!
1110
Turd burglar!
1111
Judith, I don't know what Jake's problem is.
1112
We had a terrific weekend.
1113
Huh.
1114
Jake says he doesn't want to come here anymore.
1115
Really?
1116
Why?
1117
No. Did he say why?
1118
Charlie and I don't bicker.
1119
I mean, no more than any other couple. Of guys.
1120
Right?
1121
Right.
1122
Oh, oh, oh, you are a eunuch.
1123
That's E, not U.
1124
Learn to spell useless.
1125
Look, I don't know what to tell you.
1126
He's a teenager.
1127
He'll get over it.
1128
Okay.
1129
Okay.
1130
Bye-bye.
1131
Well, I hope you're happy.
1132
I haven't been happy in seven years.
1133
For your information, I will not have been here seven years until next fall.
1134
Oh, good to know.
1135
I circled the date on the calendar so I know when to hang myself.
1136
Ha-ha, funny.
1137
It's because of you.
1138
Jake doesn't want to come here anymore.
1139
Great.
1140
Tell me what I did so I can do it to you.
1141
You are such a...
1142
What are we up to?
1143
The varmint!
1144
You are a varmint.
1145
Yeah, well...
1146
You are a vagina.
1147
You're calling me a vagina?
1148
No, no, no, no, no. No, that's too good for you.
1149
What you are is...
1150
vagina-adjacent.
1151
You know, for some women, this could be considered a hostile work environment.
1152
Uncle Charlie?
1153
What?
1154
You hungry?
1155
Because if you are, we could go get something to eat. And I'll even drive.
1156
Jake, I'm sleeping.
1157
Okay.
1158
You know, you can nap in the car.
1159
I just gotta have an adult with me.
1160
They don't have to be conscious.
1161
I'm not hungry.
1162
Okay, fine.
1163
You wanna go see a movie?
1164
Because if you do...
1165
Maybe after your nap.
1166
Oh, crap.
1167
Now I'm awake.
1168
Great.
1169
You hungry?
1170
Can't I at least back it out?
1171
No. Come on.
1172
Nothing's gonna happen.
1173
Look, you want to eat or not?
1174
Fine.
1175
What if we went to an empty parking lot?
1176
Could I drive it then?
1177
Damn it, Jake.
1178
How many times I gotta tell you?
1179
What the hell was that?
1180
I don't know.
1181
Sounds like you ran over a cat.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale s’appuie sur la vidéo « Supercut: Charlie and Jake Get Into Trouble ». Cette vidéo contient 998 phrases et 6751 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 52:14. Le locuteur parle à un rythme régulier d’environ 129 mots par minute, confortable pour le shadowing. Seuls 81 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc exigeant. 213 de ses 998 phrases sont des questions : un bon entraînement pour l’intonation interrogative et les réponses courtes.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
15 mots de la vidéo à retenir, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| hungry adjectif | /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/ | affamé, avoir faim |
| passenger nom | /ˈpæs.ɪn.d͡ʒɚ/ | passager, passagère |
| demon nom | /ˈdiː.mən/ | démon |
| samurai nom | /ˈsæməˌɹaɪ/ | samouraï |
| buddy | /ˈbʌdi/ | compagnon, pote |
| honey nom | /ˈhʌni/ | miel |
| candy nom | /ˈkæn.di/ | bonbon, sucrerie |
| relax verbe | /ɹɪˈlæks/ | relâcher |
| expense nom | /ɪkˈspɛns/ | dépense |
| garbage nom | /ˈɡɑɹ.bɪd͡ʒ/ | ordures, déchet |
| loser nom | /luzɚ/ | perdant, perdante |
| vagina nom | /vəˈdʒaɪ.nə/ | vagin |
| whoa | /woʊ/ | ho, holà |
| vomit verbe | /ˈvɑmɪt/ | vomir |
| mood nom | /muːd/ | humeur, mauvaise humeur |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| pick up verbe | soulever |
| figure out verbe | cerner |
| go through verbe | traverser |
| lie down verbe | s'étendre, se coucher |
| show up verbe | apparaître, se montrer se pointer |
| turn out verbe | se finir, se terminer |
| break down verbe | tomber en panne |
| clean up verbe | nettoyer |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- Why don't I just shoot myself?
- Why don't you take them off?
- You're saying my son's not cool?
- Don't they send you a summons?
- How do you know it's mine?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continu have/has been + -ing — une action commencée avant et toujours en cours | I've been waiting · have been dating |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | I've known · have been paid · I've always said |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | have been paid · is shot · being turned |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | people who throw · guy who had · Anybody who tried |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 267 contractions et formes réduites, comme I'm, don't, you're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « th »: sixth /sɪksθ/, thoroughly /ˈθʌɹ.ə.li/
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, capture /ˈkæp.(t)ʃɚ/, substantial /səbˈstænʃəl/, shoe /ˈʃu/, dish /dɪʃ/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, technically /ˈtɛk.nɪˌkəl.i/, publicity /pʌbˈlɪsɪti/, chiropractor /ˈkaɪ.ɹəˌpɹæk.tə(ɹ)/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hungry /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/, honey /ˈhʌni/, happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, wherever /(h)wɛɹˈɛvɚ/, hostile /ˈhɑstəl/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: jake /dʒeɪk/, passenger /ˈpæs.ɪn.d͡ʒɚ/, garbage /ˈɡɑɹ.bɪd͡ʒ/, vagina /vəˈdʒaɪ.nə/, juice /d͡ʒuːs/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: brad /bɹæd/, hungry /ˈhʌŋ.ɡɹi/, samurai /ˈsæməˌɹaɪ/, inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, relax /ɹɪˈlæks/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Répétez phrase par phrase à vitesse normale, en reprenant chacune jusqu’à ce que votre rythme corresponde à celui du locuteur.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme hungry, passenger, demon.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.