Shadowing Practice: How To Reset Your Nervous System For Success - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Controlling your nervous system will get you everything that you want out of life.

I went from being such a nervous and anxious 20-year-old to being calm and in control of any situation, and now I'm a 32-year-old multimillionaire.

So these are my five rules that will help you take control of your nervous system and help you in any situation.

My first rule for controlling your nervous system is to prepare.

I always try to be the most prepared person in any room that I'm in.

That means that before I show up to meetings or make a presentation, I review all the points that I need to hit on.

I set a clear intention for what I need to communicate and what it is that I want to make happen.

This removes most of my nervousness and instead gets me excited for what it is that I'm doing.

I've had the privilege to work around high-performing team members since the start of my career.

One of my very first mentors was responsible for technology in the company that I was working with.

She was a vice president of tech.

She had been in the space for 20 years and she was always on it.

Every meeting she had an agenda for beforehand, she would make sure that she had all of her notes ready

and she would do reviews right before getting in with the client.

It was so impressive to me to watch the level of preparation that she would do.

And because I was around her and she set that expectation, I just naturally started doing that myself.

And what I see is the difference between high performers and people who are average is the high performers take the time, it's just 15 minutes normally,

to actually prepare for whatever the conversation is.

So if you have a meeting, what research have you done on the person?

Have you looked at their social media profiles?

Have you read what ChatGPT has to say about them?

Have you Googled them?

What information can you get access to that will help you drive your intention forward for the meeting?

If you are not clear on what you want out of the meeting and you're not prepared for the meeting, of course you're gonna be nervous going into the meeting because you're just showing up as a spectator.

If you want to be successful in your career, if you want success in business, you have to know what the outcome is that you're going for

and ideally prepare as much in advance for that opportunity as possible

so you can lead the conversation to where you want it to go.

In my 20s, I showed up to things and just expected to be told what to do.

That's very normal because all of high school people are telling you what to do.

In college, someone's telling you what to do.

But when you're a leader, and especially if you expect to be a a great leader, you have to be the one who's prepared enough to be able to tell other people what needs to happen

and ideally inspire them to do those things

because nobody wants to be led by somebody who doesn't know where they're going and why they're there.

Next is rule number two.

You don't need a six-step routine to calm your nervous system.

If you have to go through some long process in order

for you to get mentally prepared for you to do something big, you're always going to use that as your crutch.

You're going to set yourself up to think that you need

that you don't need anything that is a lie

that somebody has told you

that you have to do all of these things in order to be ready

if you practice if you rehearse if you are confident in what you do because you work hard every single day, there's no reason that you can't at a moment's notice always be prepared

because you know the level of work you put in.

So when people put these rituals in or these superstitious elements into their preparation routine, it always is a little bit of a red flag for me because why can't they just be ready?

If you knew your numbers and if you actually do the work, you already are ready.

So needing something else on top of that, from my standpoint, is just a via.

It's a way to say, oh, I have to point to this thing over here that's making me successful.

No, you're making you successful.

I got sold this very early on in my career

that I needed to wake up early in the morning to have a slow morning

so that my nervous system could adjust so

that I'd be ready for work and ready to be able to have all the meetings and do this hard thing.

And I would actually, through that process, sell myself on why what I was about to do was hard.

Well, if you're telling yourself that something is about to be hard, of course, you're going to feel like it's hard and then all you're gonna talk about is how hard everything is.

Do you think anybody wants to be around people who talk about how hard everything is all the time?

Of course not.

People that are magnetic talk about all of the opportunities

and the cool things that they're doing and the different ways that they're attacking problems.

They're not complaining and bitching and moaning about how hard things are.

But if you have to psych yourself up to do these hard things and that's the only way that you get prepared, of course you're just gonna talk about how terrible things are and no one's gonna wanna spend time with you.

So set yourself up to know that there should always be moments that are high stakes, whether it's a meeting or it's a tense situation,

and that you won't have time in those moments to have your six-step routine.

When you have that mindset, then you don't create this dependency on some sort of routine or ritual.

You build the confidence to know that you can absolutely handle yourself and communicate effectively in any moments, but especially the moments that may catch you off guard.

Now we're on to one of my absolute favorites, the number one thing rule.

This is actually one of my favorite Grant Cardone quotes.

Everyone messes up no matter how much they prepare.

So even if I mess up something so important to me, the world isn't going to end.

I'm not going to die.

No one else is going to die.

And the beautiful thing is no one thing blows a deal.

If you can remember this and stay grounded in this, you can show up authentically as yourself, make mistakes, have there be problems,

but you know that you can overcome them.

It's not realistic for you to say one dumb thing and have the relationship blow up after that.

If you really think about this, you can find countless examples where you mess something up in life.

You missed the presentation.

You didn't show up on time.

Something that you had to do, you forgot about.

When I think about this in my life, I remember the moment when I completely blew a presentation.

I was rocking and and five minutes in, it was a high stakes presentation.

I didn't sleep much the night before.

I was preparing, but I was ready and I was feeling pretty confident.

And then I get up there, I'm five minutes in.

I look back at the presentation screen to point out something.

And when I turn back to the audience, it was a room of 45 people all around this U-shaped conference table.

And I returned to look at them and instantly became nervous.

And I proceeded to give my hour-long presentation in the next five minutes.

So it was supposed to be an hour, and I ended up giving it in all of ten.

I was so nervous, it went so poorly,

and I sat up in the front of the room while my boss gave the presentation from the back of the room, and I was mortified.

Well, no one thing blows a deal.

I didn't lose my job after that.

I didn't stop my career after that.

I didn't die after that experience.

Was it painful?

Was it uncomfortable?

Sure.

Did it actually introvert me from not speaking publicly for many, many months?

Yes so if you know

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that you can just keep going after what you are trying to accomplish

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and realize that it's never going to be one thing now

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if you have a life of hundreds of things where you

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continue to mess up you continue to have problems you aren't

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consistent you let people down of course you're never going to be successful

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but you don't have to put

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so much pressure on yourself to where you are just freaking out you're panicking you're anxious all the time

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because you think

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that you're going to say one thing that's just going to send everything sideways it never works like

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that So in those moments where you're feeling heightened anxiousness, just remember no one thing blows a deal. Be prepared.

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Do your homework.

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Make sure that you are fully ready.

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But give yourself the grace.

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Give yourself the peace to know that there is nothing

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that can happen in this moment that can totally blow the deal forever.

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And you're not going to be a colossal failure because of one mistake.

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You can always rebound from a mistake.

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The next rule is to be still.

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Whenever there is craziness happening around you that makes you feel nervous and anxious and terrified of what might happen,

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remember that your default position can always be to be still.

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When I was 23 years old, I was in this meeting where there was a vendor negotiation going on, and it was a high-stakes meeting.

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I was there because I was the vendor liaison.

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I had made the introduction to this relationship, and so I wanted things to go well.

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I thought this was going to be great for my employer.

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It was going to be great for the vendor, and my employer just cracked this guy.

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He went ruthlessly after getting the price down, saying that the product wasn't differentiated, saying it wasn't as great as the vendor thought it was,

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and I was instantly anxious.

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And what I learned in that moment is it's very natural when you're uncomfortable to fidget.

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And instantly, you will just start fidgeting.

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It might be you'll start playing with your fingers, you could tuck your hair behind your ear, maybe you just move and you just shift around in your chair

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but how you feel internally when things are uncomfortable is visibly obvious to the people around you.

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So when you are uncomfortable, the only thing that you can actually control is what you do with your body.

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You don't have to speak, you don't have to move, you don't have to fidget, you can just sit there comfortably and let the situation play out.

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If you don't know what to say, guess what?

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You don't have to say anything.

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If you don't know what to do, you don't have to do anything.

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And ideally you can just sit there comfortably while something uncomfortable is happening and that shows that you're actually in control.

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You just being there has a level of presence

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that allows your nervous system to move through the situation without all of the additional theatrics.

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Finally, the last rule is that it's just not that serious.

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Yes, certain things are very important and it does matter if you're able to

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complete the job that you're supposed to complete or fulfill on the promise that you made, but how can you inject humor?

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How can you inject that people are humans in high pressure, intense situations.

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I am the queen of just being myself, making a joke, having some sort of brevity added into the situation.

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Because if you don't do that, business just feels hard.

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And people like and respond well to somebody who doesn't take everything so seriously.

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I'm not somebody who just jokes around and isn't serious all the time.

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I'm very serious.

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But that doesn't mean that I take everything so seriously.

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Little things that I do is put my personality into the meetings that I have.

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So I don't just start meetings at the very beginning and start drilling into all of the points.

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I love starting meetings with a win.

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Why?

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Because hearing my team members talk about personal wins that they're having

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or professional wins that they're having make the meeting go better.

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Why?

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Because yes, the meeting and the metric and the KPI, those are all serious things, but it doesn't have to feel serious all the time.

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Other silly things that I do, I decorate our office for the holidays.

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I actually have some spiders hanging out behind me.

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Why?

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Because we're in a meeting, sure, but it's Halloween season and I love the holidays and it doesn't have to feel so tense all the time.

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So how can you inject different parts of your personality into the way that you choose to be successful?

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The more you do this, the less anxious you'll be because you have nothing to be anxious about.

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You're in control of how you want things to go And when you have that level of control, you feel less nervous and people around you feel less nervous,

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which means that they're going to trust you more and they're going to want to do more business with you.

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Speaking of starting meetings with wins, if you want the exact agenda that I use every single day for our company's daily all team meeting,

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go to my Instagram at Natalie Dawson.

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Send me a DM saying agenda and I will send it right over.

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Just remember that even if you mess something up, you just have to not take it so seriously and try again.

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Don't quit.

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Just keep trying.

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Keep going after it.

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And not taking things as seriously is the secret to having everything work out eventually

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and feeling calm each step of the way.

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If you like this video, subscribe to my channel for new videos every week and check out my next video here.

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “How To Reset Your Nervous System For Success”. This video has 174 sentences and 2442 words to shadow. The speech runs for 11:57. The speaker talks fast, about 204 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
anxious adjective	/ˈæŋkʃəs/	Nervous and worried.
uncomfortable adjective	/ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/	Not comfortable; causing discomfort.
vendor noun	/ˈvɛn.dɚ/	A person or a company that vends or sells.
fidget verb	/ˈfɪd͡ʒ.ɪt/	To wiggle or twitch; to move the body, especially the fingers, around nervously or idly.
inject verb	/ɪnˈd͡ʒɛkt/	To push or pump (something, especially fluids) into a cavity or passage.
ideally adverb	/aɪˈdi.ə.li/	In an ideal way; perfectly.
stake noun	/steɪk/	A piece of wood or other material, usually long and slender, pointed at one end so as to be easily driven into the ground as a marker or a support or stay.
comfortably adverb	/ˈkʌmftɚbli/	In a comfortable manner.
performer noun	/pɚˈfɔɹmɚ/	One who performs for, or entertains, an audience.
tense noun	/tɛns/	The property of indicating the point in time at which an action or state of being occurs or exists.
ritual noun	/ˈɹɪt͡ʃ.u.əl/	A rite; a repeated set of actions, especially in religious contexts.
anxiousness noun		The state of being anxious.
authentically adverb		In an authentic manner; genuinely
brevity noun	/ˈbɹɛvɪti/	The quality of being brief in duration.
colossal adjective	/kəˈlɑsəl/	Extremely large or on a great scale.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Meaning
mess up verb	To make a mess of; to untidy, disorder, soil, or muss.
show up verb	To appear, arrive, or attend, especially suddenly or erratically.
blow up verb	To explode or be destroyed by explosion.
check out verb	To record the departure or withdrawal of someone or something (such as guests, employees, books, etc.).
end up verb	To bring to a conclusion.
get in with verb	To become liked or accepted by and/or involved or associated with (especially a group of people)
get up verb	To move in an upward direction; to ascend or climb.
go through verb	To travel from one end of something to the other.

Sentences worth repeating

Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:

Have you looked at their social media profiles?
In college, someone's telling you what to do.
No, you're making you successful.
You didn't show up on time.
If you don't know what to say, guess what?

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:

מבנה	בסרטון
הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו	I've had · Have you looked · Have you read
סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה	be told · be led · was mortified
משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר	people who are · somebody who doesn · people who talk

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 82 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: ruthlessly /ˈɹuːθ.ləs.li/, theatrics /θiˈætɹɪks/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, superstitious /ˌs(j)u.pɚˈstɪ.ʃəs/, differentiate /dɪf.əˈɹɛn.ʃi.eɪt/, negotiation /nɪˌɡəʊ.ʃiˈeɪ.ʃən/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
Long words — get the stress right: uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, ideally /aɪˈdi.ə.li/, introverted /ˈɪn.tɹəˌvɜːɹ.təd/, superstitious /ˌs(j)u.pɚˈstɪ.ʃəs/, dependency /dɪˈpɛndənsi/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like anxious, uncomfortable, vendor.

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?

שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.

טכניקת Shadowing: קרא את המדריך המלא שלב אחר שלב →

Shadowing Practice: How To Reset Your Nervous System For Success - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

Key vocabulary in this video

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Sentences worth repeating

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

Pronunciation to watch

How to practise with this video

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?