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I'm William Hansen, an etiquette coach, and I'm here to answer the internet's burning etiquette questions.
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This is Etiquette Support.
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At Dolly Maroll asks, I always do my best to have good table etiquette, but I still genuinely do not understand the no elbows on the table rule.
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Why is that important?
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Three exclamation marks.
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The no elbows on the table rule goes back to the
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medieval times in Europe where they they were eating from trestle tables.
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They would put these benches out with sheets of wood on top.
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If you put your elbows on the table, the table would tip and the food would go everywhere.
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And obviously that's not very good etiquette.
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And so it became the etiquette and not to put your elbows on the table.
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We do really still abide by the no elbows on the table rule because I think it looks really ugly.
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At Quellinks is saying, what's the proper way to stir the tea clockwise or anti-clockwise?
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Great question.
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And the answer is neither.
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Instead, we stir in a back and forth 612, 612 motion, gently flicking the teaspoon at the top of the cup,
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not banging around like that, thank you very much.
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Set it back in line with the handle and enjoy.
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RG Meister is asking, actually, this site.
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I'm learning how to cut cheese for charcuterie.
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Well, you live life on the edge.
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Here comes our cheese selection, thank you.
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You don't want to take the best bit of the cheese for yourself and the best bit of the cheese, cheeses that are made in the round is the nose of the cheese.
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And on this blue cheese here, that would be this bit.
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So we wouldn't cut like so, because you'd be taking the creamiest bit for yourself, and that's not good manners.
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Instead, we are going to cut down, keeping the original shape, and then we would place that cheese on our individual plate.
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We have a question now from Joe P.E.
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Haley.
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How do you eat your peas?
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Excellent question.
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Cue the peas.
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Thank you so much.
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I've just ordered this plate of peas from the nearest available tin.
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What we don't do is scoop like this.
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In really casual dining, that might be permissible, but in more formal dining, we're going to use both the fork and the knife.
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Some people do this.
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I think this is more difficult to keep those peas balanced.
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You see, there we go, one's gone.
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It's much better to just spear them onto the tines of your fork and eat like so.
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At the Etiquette Man is asking, Is cheersing or clinking your glass on the table proper etiquette?
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Ugh, so many people do it.
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But it's not actually correct.
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In formal dining, you're drinking from fine glassware that's expensively made and if you do start smashing your glasses together,
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you're going to hear the clink of glass all over the floor and that'll somewhat ruin the meal.
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We have a tweet from at Shelly Leahy.
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No, but why should we care about etiquette?
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Like who the cares about which fork goes where?
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Why does it matter?
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They've put in block capitals.
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Clearly have strong opinions on this.
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Etiquette is important to everybody.
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If you are a user of Earth, then you need etiquette and manners.
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No one is exempt from that.
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Predominantly what I'm focusing on today is Western British American etiquette.
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At Drewvy Modi 10 is saying, who even decides table etiquette? like I'll keep the fork however
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I want without giving some secret message on whether I like the food or not.
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Okay, so there is some etiquette fake news that does the rounds on social media.
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There is a graphic showing the different positions to put your cutlery in based on whether you liked the food or not, whether you're ready for a second plate.
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It's a load of rubbish.
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The only positions you put your cutlery in
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when they're not being held in your hand is to indicate that you are resting or if you are finished.
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When we're resting, the cutlery goes like so.
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When we're finished, in Britain, we would put the cutlery together.
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But in other parts of the world, that might be at a slight angle.
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And in France, the fork might be turned over.
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That is what the waiting staff are looking for.
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At Wasim NYC is asking, is it ever okay to interrupt someone in a conversation?
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Short answer, no. And if it is okay, which it isn't, when is it an appropriate time?
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I mean, look, if they're on fire, then you might perhaps need to say, I'll just stop you there.
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Your trousers are alight.
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But other than that, let them finish.
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But, note to everyone else, a conversation is meant to be like a game of tennis.
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You're not meant to hold the ball and not let it go.
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At Virgin Radio Toronto, we're asking, is it wrong to taste a bottle of wine at a restaurant and then send it back because you don't like it?
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Well, the restaurant are going to love you because you're going to be paying for the first bottle and the second bottle.
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The only reason, thank you, that you can send something back is because there is a problem with the wine because it is caught,
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and that's where there's been a problem in the storage process.
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By the time you get the winder about here, you will know that it is caught, it will stink.
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This is from B1 Acre.
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How TF do you eat a big-ass burger in a non-grotesque way?
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Well, that's an excellent question, thank you.
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Now, this burger, this is huge.
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Nobody's got a mouth that big.
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So instead, you're going to deconstruct it first with your knife and fork.
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Take the top of the bun off, and then cut a little bit, and then eat like so.
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At Richard Bicknays is asking, what fork etiquette do you use?
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I'm sure I'd get roasted in Europe for my very American knife and fork etiquette.
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Well, yes, there are some differences.
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In Britain, when we're using a knife and fork together, they are both held at the same time.
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The knife stays low.
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We obviously don't put the knife anywhere near our mouth, and the food is conveyed via the fork.
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And in Britain, the tines of the fork, the prongs, always face downwards.
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Now in America, they will start like this, cut a little bit of food, place the knife down on the edge of the plate, turn the fork over, stab and eat,
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pick up the knife, cut another little bit of food.
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This is an aerobic exercise.
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This is not relaxing in any way.
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So we don't suggest eating like that in Britain, but of course in America it's perfectly correct if that's how they wish to eat.
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Mr Rickson is saying that according to etiquette expert, Emily Post, there are three proper ways to eat spaghetti,
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how do you do it?
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Thank you.
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You look so appetizing.
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Well, Emily Post wrote her book in America at the turn of the 20th century.
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Now, I don't know about the etiquette back then, but I didn't think there were three ways to eat spaghetti, but today there is only one way.
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You are not going to cut your pasta.
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It's very bad form.
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It is just eaten with the fork upturned in the dominant hand.
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And you go in from the edge of your spaghetti, twist and make a neat little parcel, and then eat like so.
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At lol, it's Lawrence, says, "'What is the worst etiquette sin ever?' If you do not say please,
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thank you, and sorry as a human being walking on this earth, then you should be put into Etiquette Room 101 and the key should be thrown away.
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Those are the absolute basic fundamental things of being a human being.
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This one is from at Sassy Frenchy.
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Do they know the etiquette in France to arrive 15 minutes late at the host's house so they can prepare on time.
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This is a really interesting one and I think one that is changing with different generations.
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So in Britain and in France
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and several other countries it did used to be the etiquette
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that you never arrived on time to someone's house for a dinner.
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So if I said to you come for 7.30 you would turn up at 7.40, maybe 7.45.
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However I think millennials and Gen Z now are slightly panicked
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if their guests are not there at the time they have said.
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So I would say really if someone now says to you 7.30, I'd probably go for 7.35.
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As a host it's really nice to have those 10-15 minutes just to have a breather, do those final preparations, have a gin and tonic.
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And generally the friends that don't get the 15 minutes, 10-15 minute late rule, are generally the ones that don't host.
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At K Habing is asking, I'm absolutely shocked that so many people think it's shitty to recline in your airplane seat.
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That's why it's there, so you can recline.
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I've never not reclined my seat.
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My seat stays reclined, always.
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Well, I think the cabin crew have got something to say at takeoff and landing about that, because you're not meant to have it reclined then.
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Ah yes, they're from Austin, Texas, which explains so much.
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I would suggest that if you are going to recline your seat, and you are right, at KHB, if you want to recline your seat,
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you can, but don't do it during the meal service.
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Do make sure you just sort of slightly check behind you.
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It's a signal that you are going to do it and you do it slowly.
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Don't do it violently.
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At Ms. Robot Butler says, help, this girl is telling me about horoscopes and I've literally no interest in it.
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I don't know how to get out of this conversation.
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Try and pair them off with someone else.
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Say to them, oh, I've just seen someone over there.
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I must go and chat to before they go.
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But have you met Anna?
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No?
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I'm going to introduce this person with Anna and off you go.
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It's much nicer than just going, I've got to go, bye and then walking off.
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At Brave R K9 is asking, it feels like unless I hunt down the waiter that we want the check or bill, we could be there for hours.
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Is this a thing?
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The way to get a waiter's attention is purely body language.
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We don't want any clicking, any clapping, or any flapping about.
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Instead, sort of sit back from the table, make yourself a little bit taller and try and catch their eye as they go past.
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Keep the hand at the level of the eye, and then when they come over, please now have the bill.
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That's all you need to say.
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At Ed Azumi is asking, I need a crash course on how to properly address royals.
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Well, I'm going to take the British Royal Family.
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The King and Queen are referred to as their majesty, but direct conversation, you would say your majesty, and then you would call the King sir thereafter.
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And Queen Camilla would be ma'am, and that's ma'am as in ham, not ma'am as in farm.
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And every other member of the Royal Family, if they have an HRH title, would be your Royal Highness, followed by sir or ma'am according to their gender.
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At Salt Cheek is asking, I'm having an internal debacle right now.
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A lady is standing in front of me in the train.
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She looks pregnant, but not really.
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Do I ask?
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Do I offer my seat?
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There is always that slight jeopardy that of course you might offend somebody, but the good news is you're probably never seeing them ever again.
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If you wish to offer your seat to anybody who looks like they need that seat more than you, then yes, you can do that.
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At Sean Coomins is saying, I hold the door open for anyone, always, but I would like some clarification on the optimum distance at
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which it is acceptable to let the door close instead of enduring
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that awkward long-ish wait and forcing them to break into that slightly embarrassed half-jog.
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At 2.4 metres.
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No, that's a joke.
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There's no correct distance for me to give you.
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It's just what feels right.
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But at least glance behind and check.
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At B-Day 1961 is asking, How do you get rid of house guests that overstay their welcome?
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I have various different tactics.
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First of all, I might say to them, have you got a very busy day tomorrow?
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Or I might say to people, can I get anyone anything else?
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Which again is another passive aggressive piece of British etiquette mean, please leave.
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If all of that fails, you can just flick the lights and hope they get the message like a nightclub.
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Well, those are all of the burning etiquette questions we've got time for today.
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Thank you very much indeed for watching Etiquette Support.
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you
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About This Lesson
This lesson will focus on enhancing your English speaking skills through the fascinating world of etiquette, particularly table manners. Drawing from insights shared by etiquette expert William Hansen, you will practice key conversational phrases and vocabulary related to dining etiquette. Engaging with this content will not only improve your pronunciation and fluency but also provide valuable cultural knowledge, useful for both social and professional settings. By using methods like shadowspeak, you can refine your English speaking practice and build your confidence in real-life conversations.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Table etiquette - Proper behavior during dining.
- No elbows on the table - A rule discouraging resting elbows during meals.
- Stirring tea - The correct method to mix your beverage.
- Cuts of cheese - How to serve and slice cheese appropriately.
- Spearing peas - The preferred way to eat peas with utensils.
- Cheersing - The act of clinking glasses, often seen in dining.
- Formal dining - A setting where specific etiquette is expected.
- Expensive glassware - High-quality drinking vessels that require careful handling.
Practice Tips
To maximize your learning from this video, I recommend utilizing a shadowing app to help you practice your speaking. Start by listening to William's responses and pay close attention to his pronunciation and rhythm. The pace of the video is moderate, making it suitable for shadowing. Try to repeat phrases after him, imitating his tone and expression. This will not only enhance your English speaking practice but also help you absorb the cultural nuances behind the etiquette he's discussing.
If you encounter a phrase or word you're unfamiliar with, pause the video and look it up, or try using it in a sentence of your own. This way, you can build your vocabulary and improve your fluency simultaneously. Engaging in these activities will greatly benefit your IELTS speaking practice as well, particularly in making your conversations more polished and socially aware.
By focusing on both the language and the cultural context, you'll gain a richer understanding of communication in various settings, preparing you for successful interactions in English-speaking environments.
דקדוק בסרטון הזה
המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:
| מבנה | בסרטון |
|---|---|
| סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה | are made · being held · might be turned |
| הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו | I've just ordered · They've put · there's been |
מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?
שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.