शैडोइंग अभ्यास: You're Making These Communication Mistakes (Without Knowing) - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

You're making these communication mistakes right now that you can't see.

Yes, you.

And it's costing you your career.

I've made those mistakes for the last 10 years before anyone even told me.

You see, I was building my career and as a keynote speaker, I thought I was bloody brilliant.

But within many of my key interactions in high-stake meetings, my communication skills, well, they let me down, which caused me to be overlooked for the bigger opportunities that existed.

My name is Vin.

I'm a communication skills expert and after training some of the biggest companies in the world like Zoom, Microsoft, and teaching millions of people to improve the way they speak,

I keep seeing these five same mistakes show up again and again.

By the end, you'll know how to spot them and the exact behaviors to replace them with.

Mistake number one, you forget the question you're being asked.

This happens to all of us, and I know it's happened to you too, where someone on your team asks you a simple question about a project like...

Vin, are we still on track for Project Neo this Friday?

Oh, um, yeah, well, yeah, yeah, um, Project Neo.

So, so, uh, we, we, we kicked off a bit later than planned, because we decided we needed a bit more time on the wireframes, and then the dev found a couple of issues,

and there was integration problems next week to make sure things are great! Of course!

It was so funny you had to be there.

Oh, wait, wait, what was I asking you?

No, no, sorry, sorry, wait, um, I think, were you asking me something?

What was the question again?

Oh man, did you notice that?

Why does this happen to you?

Why does it happen to me?

Why does it happen to all of us?

Well, there's a few things that's happening in your subconscious mind.

When you first get asked a question about your project, you might be too focused on trying to prove that you're on top of everything.

So you share all the details as evidence.

You're anxious about leaving something important out.

So you overcorrect and you include every single detail.

You haven't actually thought in your own head what the actual answer is.

So you talk your way towards the point instead of just starting with the point.

When you do this, you actually think you're adding value.

You think, well, they asked me about the project, so I should tell them about the project.

But most of the time, they're just seeking a high-level status check, not inviting you to dump all the context.

And the unfortunate thing is when this happens too often in front of your leaders and your managers, they don't see you as brilliant and thorough.

They see you as unclear and hard to follow.

Which is why the next time a question gets thrown your way, here's a three-part communication framework I want you to use.

It's called ACQ.

The A stands for answer, the C stands for context, and the Q stands for question.

Answer their question with just one clear sentence and add a little bit of context only if you need to.

And then after that, ask them a clarifying question like do you want more detail

so then they can pull more from you if they actually need it and here is what that looks like.

Hey Vin are we still on for project neo this Friday?

Yes we are still on track for Friday.

We started a bit late because design needed a little more time but the plan is aligned with next week's QA window.

Did you need any more detail?

No that's That's all I need to know.

Now, wasn't that way better?

By using a communication framework like ACQ, when answering questions, especially in a work context,

it ensures you actually do answer the question and you don't lose yourself in a rambling mess.

That's invisible mistake number one.

But invisible mistake number two is even sneakier because when you do it, you think you're coming across as thoughtful, but people actually perceive it as confusing.

And mistake number two is when you externalize your thought process.

This is when you think out loud when the situation calls for a formed thought.

I was in a meeting last week with a highly credible individual.

I had zero doubts about their knowledge and expertise.

But when I asked them a simple question, the way they answered it suddenly made me question everything.

Instead of pausing, finding a clear answer, and then responding, he just spoke his thinking process out loud.

Led me down different paths and left me more confused than I was when I started.

It sounded something like this.

So Vin, what do you think our next step should be?

Oh, I think it should be option A.

Wait, maybe not.

Because if we do go with option A, then we'd have to actually- hold on.

What if we went with option B?

What if we did that instead?

No way, that doesn't make sense.

We should circle back to option D.

What do you think of that?

Actually, you know what?

Stuff it, okay?

Stuff it.

We're gonna go with option G, which stands for what?

Elephant.

I used to do this all the time.

I share this with you for the simple reason that many of us, We know internally that we are smart, we are knowledgeable, we're capable.

But the moment we open our mouths and we speak, our communication skills let us down.

It causes people to undermine us and overlook us.

And hey, by watching this video, by applying the frameworks that I teach you, the ones you're learning right now, you're not just speaking better,

you're actively reshaping the way people perceive you.

Because when you improve your communication skills, you amplify the best parts of you to those around you.

Now, how do you avoid externalizing your thought process?

I've already given you the answer in mistake number one, by using communication frameworks.

Communication frameworks are your best friend, especially when you need to answer questions on the spot or you're put in high pressure situations.

When you're put on the spot, generally what happens is you get nervous, which causes your mind to go blank and then you lose your train of thought, which causes you to ramble and externalize your thinking.

Frameworks allow you to lean on structures when your mind is in chaos.

And I've actually recorded a free training where I've distilled three

of the most powerful communication frameworks I use every single day in high stakes meetings or in everyday conversations

so that I stop rambling, I speak in a way that's more clear, in a way that's more concise, in a way that's more coherent.

Click the link below or scan the QR code on screen if you want to access that free training.

Speaking with frameworks is the difference between sounding scattered and being the person people listen to, trust and promote.

So make sure you check it out.

So what's the best framework to avoid speaking your thinking process out loud?

I actually posted a video recently sharing the exact process I'd use to stop rambling.

So go watch that if you want the process in detail.

But I'll quickly summarize it here for you too.

Don't answer immediately.

Pause.

take a deep breath and move into the thinker pose

100

which is this this gives you time to actually think about the answer

101

and when you do this you might think oh man it's

102

so weird to pause like that

103

but trust me it makes you come across more thoughtful

104

and it creates more anticipation for what you're about to say

105

next once you've thought of the answer in your head then go ahead

106

and use acq the framework we learned earlier again it's answer context question i'll show you what

107

that looks like in action all of it

108

so Vin what do you think our next step should be look I recommend we go with option B

109

because if we go with option a we're gonna hit scaling issues in quarter three how's

110

that sound to you see

111

that in the first version I verbalized the entire decision tree

112

in the second version I delivered the decision that's not to say you shouldn't ever verbalize your thoughts out loud, there are times for this where it's useful.

113

Like when you're brainstorming or you're collaborating with other people where this is necessary.

114

But when someone needs a decision, a position, verbalizing your thoughts in those particular moments, it costs you credibility.

115

You're showing them a rough draft where what they want is actually the final version.

116

And look, I get it.

117

A lot of us were trained to show our work, especially if you've got a technical role like being an engineer.

118

You were rewarded for transparency for showing the exact steps that you took.

119

That's great for problem solving but when it comes to communicating especially in high-stakes situations it can come across overwhelming and confusing.

120

Alright let's get into mistake number three.

121

You're defaulting to agreement without a position.

122

It took me years before I could recognize this mistake within my own communication.

123

It's when you remain neutral in every decision or question that comes your way.

124

Imagine someone on your team asks the following.

125

What do you guys want to eat for lunch?

126

Yeah, look, I don't really mind where we go.

127

Okay.

128

Dan?

129

I'm easy.

130

Whatever the team wants.

131

Vin?

132

Oh, yeah.

133

Well, look, I'm just going to be vague like everybody else

134

because I don't want to bear the weight of the decision of where we have lunch, because if I pick a place and then nobody likes it and then you all blame me.

135

So I don't know, whatever you guys want to eat, I'm cool with that, whatever.

136

Oh man, can you see the problem?

137

How annoying is that?

138

Not only is it frustrating when your friends can't make a decision on where to go to eat, you end up not bloody going anywhere.

139

But in a work context, it gives off the impression that you just go along with other people's decisions, that you don't have an opinion yourself,

140

and you're scared of making the wrong move.

141

But by not actually taking a position, it makes you forgettable.

142

And look, this one's relatable to so many of us, because growing up, a lot of us were taught that being agreeable is the right thing.

143

It helps us avoid conflict.

144

Especially early in your career, you don't wanna seem difficult, you don't wanna seem overly opinionated, so you stay neutral.

145

But being neutral doesn't make you easier to work with.

146

And it's invisible to you because you think you're being flexible, but to others it signals a lack of decisiveness.

147

And if you do this too often, you slowly exclude yourself from key decisions.

148

Maybe you do have an opinion.

149

Maybe you're just not sure yet.

150

So you default to being neutral because you think it's safer.

151

And again, maybe you're scared if you're too direct, it makes you difficult to work with.

152

But what happens as a result?

153

People stop asking you for your opinion.

154

In other words, you're making yourself irrelevant.

155

So how do you avoid this?

156

Here's exactly what you do.

157

When someone asks you a question, actually take a moment to pause and think of your position, and then follow the PRO framework.

158

The P stands for position, which means state your position, and then the R stands for reason,

159

which essentially means give a reason for the position that you have, and then the O stands for open,

160

which essentially is you opening it up for questions.

161

And remember, if you want to learn the three most powerful communication frameworks that I use on a daily basis, remember to check out my free training in the description below.

162

So, for example, if you're in a team meeting and your manager says the following, we have two options.

163

We can either post one video a week on YouTube or two videos.

164

What do you say?

165

My position is we should be posting two videos a week.

166

We've seen a 200% increase in subscribers over the last month, and we need to double down on this while the channel has momentum.

167

If we did move to two videos a week, what's the one thing you'd want new viewers to do when they land on one of our videos?

168

Peter, the answer's simple.

169

They should like the video they're watching and hit subscribe because we're not gonna move on from this skit until they do.

170

I love how creative we can be with getting you to subscribe.

171

I mean, did you do it?

172

No, but seriously, if you want to support us, that teeny weeny action goes a long way.

173

All right, back to the point.

174

Did you see how powerful that example was in the skit?

175

Did it come across difficult?

176

Absolutely not.

177

So remember to use the PRO framework more often when you're asked about your input on something.

178

Because people who actually stand for something are the ones who influence decisions.

179

Okay, this next mistake is something I can guarantee 99% of people do.

180

Mistake number four is not leading the energy.

181

When you're in a room with a group of people, you let the room decide how you show up.

182

If they're quiet, you're quiet.

183

If they're energetic, you're energetic.

184

And there's nothing particularly wrong with that because this is how you build rapport with people, fast.

185

By meeting people where they are and matching their energy.

186

What I am talking about is understanding

187

that you have the power to shift the energy in the room

188

and setting the tone for the people to match you instead of just you matching others.

189

This is one of the traits of great leaders.

190

They don't just copy the energy in the room, they set the tone.

191

For me, when I'm talking to my team every single day, there are moments that require high levels of passion.

192

Then there are moments that require deep levels of focus.

193

As we move from light to funny topics to more serious and thoughtful ones, as a leader I deliberately shift the way I show up.

194

I'm guiding the energy of the people around me.

195

And this is what makes you magnetic and charismatic as a communicator.

196

You don't just contribute a thought, you shift people's energy.

197

So practically, how do you do this?

198

How do you not only match people's energy but actually set the tone of the room so that others follow your lead?

199

Well, step number one, you have to learn to read the room.

200

Understand how people are currently showing up with their level of energy.

201

Think about how people are using their voice.

202

Are they loud?

203

Are they quiet?

204

Are Are they talking fast or slow?

205

Is the topic playful or is it serious and heavy?

206

Once you get a good read of the room, step two is to match and mirror them.

207

If they're calm and thoughtful, don't engage them with a loud volume, meet them with calmness.

208

Again, why is this important?

209

Because it creates harmony and makes people feel like you get them.

210

And only once you feel you're in rapport, then you move to step three,

211

which is to shift your voice slowly to guide them to the energy level you want it to be at.

212

If you're calm and thoughtful and you want to shift the energy to something more light and playful, you add a bit more volume, a bit more warmth and melody into your voice.

213

You're still with them.

214

You're just inviting them to a different level.

215

In a leadership context, your job is to meet people where they are

216

and then take them to where the conversation needs to go.

217

And yes, this is hard.

218

You don't need to be a motivational speaker on standby 24 seven, but the people who grow the fastest and create the most impact,

219

they aren't afraid to set the tone of the room and not just conform.

220

Here's the last one.

221

This is the one that kept me stuck the longest.

222

Mistake number five.

223

Not playing your instrument to its fullest potential.

224

Imagine a friend gifted you a guitar but he never actually taught you how to play it.

225

That guitar will sit on the shelf, collect dust and become wasted potential.

226

Most of you don't realize this, but your voice is also an instrument.

227

And just like how my friend gave me this guitar without teaching me how to play it, no one actually gave you the instruction manual on how to use your voice.

228

When was the last time someone sat you down and taught you how to play with your instrument, your voice?

229

It took me over 10 years to master my communication skills.

230

And I can tell you right now, it's the one skill that has transformed my life.

231

And I don't say that lightly.

232

I've been lucky enough to help millions of people unlock their voice and play their instruments better.

233

And when they do, they unlock their potential in their careers.

234

They get promoted, they get recognized, and finally get seen for the value that they bring, not just the work they do in the background.

235

So what does playing your instrument actually look like?

236

Well, most of us only play the same five keys on the piano regardless of what we're talking about.

237

They use the same melody, they use the same rate of speech, and they use the same volume, kind of like I'm doing right now.

238

The goal is to learn how to play all 88 keys of your piano or guitar, however many keys there are on that instrument over there.

239

The goal is to learn how to be dynamic as a communicator.

240

And what's a practical way to do this?

241

Learning how to control a few simple dials, your rate of speech, your volume, your melody.

242

When you speed up, it makes you sound more passionate.

243

When you slow down, it adds weight to your words and highlights what you're saying.

244

When you speak loud, you're showing confidence and vitality.

245

And when you speak quietly, you're forcing people to lean in.

246

And when you add a little bit more melody to your voice, not only does it make you more dynamic, it makes you more engaging and memorable.

247

The greatest communicators know how to control these dials when they're communicating, and they mix it up to keep you engaged.

248

Sometimes they speed up, sometimes they lower their voice, sometimes they use lots of melody.

249

This is what makes you more dynamic and also makes you easier to listen to.

250

These are the five mistakes that most people make when they speak and now you can't unsee it.

251

Sorry.

252

Replace these mistakes with the new behaviors I've shared with you in this video

253

and you've unlocked a whole new version of you that no longer is overlooked and ignored

254

but rather is respected and listened to.

255

Don't be so attached to who you are in the present that you don't give the future version of you a chance.

256

Make sure you check out the link in the description for my free training to dive deeper into communication frameworks.

257

I'll see you in the next video.

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: You're Making These Communication Mistakes (Without Knowing) - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

इस पाठ के बारे में

महत्वपूर्ण शब्दावली और वाक्यांश

अभ्यास सुझाव

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?