Shadowing Practice: You're Making These Communication Mistakes (Without Knowing) - Learn English Speaking with Video
Ders oluşturuluyor...
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You're making these communication mistakes right now that you can't see.
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Yes, you.
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And it's costing you your career.
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I've made those mistakes for the last 10 years before anyone even told me.
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You see, I was building my career and as a keynote speaker, I thought I was bloody brilliant.
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But within many of my key interactions in high-stake meetings, my communication skills, well, they let me down, which caused me to be overlooked for the bigger opportunities that existed.
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My name is Vin.
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I'm a communication skills expert and after training some of the biggest companies in the world like Zoom, Microsoft, and teaching millions of people to improve the way they speak,
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I keep seeing these five same mistakes show up again and again.
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By the end, you'll know how to spot them and the exact behaviors to replace them with.
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Mistake number one, you forget the question you're being asked.
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This happens to all of us, and I know it's happened to you too, where someone on your team asks you a simple question about a project like...
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Vin, are we still on track for Project Neo this Friday?
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Oh, um, yeah, well, yeah, yeah, um, Project Neo.
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So, so, uh, we, we, we kicked off a bit later than planned, because we decided we needed a bit more time on the wireframes, and then the dev found a couple of issues,
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and there was integration problems next week to make sure things are great! Of course!
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It was so funny you had to be there.
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Oh, wait, wait, what was I asking you?
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No, no, sorry, sorry, wait, um, I think, were you asking me something?
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What was the question again?
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Oh man, did you notice that?
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Why does this happen to you?
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Why does it happen to me?
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Why does it happen to all of us?
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Well, there's a few things that's happening in your subconscious mind.
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When you first get asked a question about your project, you might be too focused on trying to prove that you're on top of everything.
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So you share all the details as evidence.
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You're anxious about leaving something important out.
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So you overcorrect and you include every single detail.
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You haven't actually thought in your own head what the actual answer is.
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So you talk your way towards the point instead of just starting with the point.
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When you do this, you actually think you're adding value.
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You think, well, they asked me about the project, so I should tell them about the project.
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But most of the time, they're just seeking a high-level status check, not inviting you to dump all the context.
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And the unfortunate thing is when this happens too often in front of your leaders and your managers, they don't see you as brilliant and thorough.
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They see you as unclear and hard to follow.
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Which is why the next time a question gets thrown your way, here's a three-part communication framework I want you to use.
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It's called ACQ.
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The A stands for answer, the C stands for context, and the Q stands for question.
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Answer their question with just one clear sentence and add a little bit of context only if you need to.
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And then after that, ask them a clarifying question like do you want more detail
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so then they can pull more from you if they actually need it and here is what that looks like.
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Hey Vin are we still on for project neo this Friday?
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Yes we are still on track for Friday.
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We started a bit late because design needed a little more time but the plan is aligned with next week's QA window.
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Did you need any more detail?
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No that's That's all I need to know.
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Now, wasn't that way better?
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By using a communication framework like ACQ, when answering questions, especially in a work context,
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it ensures you actually do answer the question and you don't lose yourself in a rambling mess.
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That's invisible mistake number one.
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But invisible mistake number two is even sneakier because when you do it, you think you're coming across as thoughtful, but people actually perceive it as confusing.
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And mistake number two is when you externalize your thought process.
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This is when you think out loud when the situation calls for a formed thought.
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I was in a meeting last week with a highly credible individual.
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I had zero doubts about their knowledge and expertise.
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But when I asked them a simple question, the way they answered it suddenly made me question everything.
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Instead of pausing, finding a clear answer, and then responding, he just spoke his thinking process out loud.
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Led me down different paths and left me more confused than I was when I started.
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It sounded something like this.
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So Vin, what do you think our next step should be?
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Oh, I think it should be option A.
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Wait, maybe not.
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Because if we do go with option A, then we'd have to actually- hold on.
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What if we went with option B?
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What if we did that instead?
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No way, that doesn't make sense.
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We should circle back to option D.
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What do you think of that?
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Actually, you know what?
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Stuff it, okay?
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Stuff it.
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We're gonna go with option G, which stands for what?
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Elephant.
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I used to do this all the time.
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I share this with you for the simple reason that many of us, We know internally that we are smart, we are knowledgeable, we're capable.
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But the moment we open our mouths and we speak, our communication skills let us down.
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It causes people to undermine us and overlook us.
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And hey, by watching this video, by applying the frameworks that I teach you, the ones you're learning right now, you're not just speaking better,
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you're actively reshaping the way people perceive you.
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Because when you improve your communication skills, you amplify the best parts of you to those around you.
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Now, how do you avoid externalizing your thought process?
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I've already given you the answer in mistake number one, by using communication frameworks.
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Communication frameworks are your best friend, especially when you need to answer questions on the spot or you're put in high pressure situations.
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When you're put on the spot, generally what happens is you get nervous, which causes your mind to go blank and then you lose your train of thought, which causes you to ramble and externalize your thinking.
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Frameworks allow you to lean on structures when your mind is in chaos.
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And I've actually recorded a free training where I've distilled three
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of the most powerful communication frameworks I use every single day in high stakes meetings or in everyday conversations
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so that I stop rambling, I speak in a way that's more clear, in a way that's more concise, in a way that's more coherent.
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Click the link below or scan the QR code on screen if you want to access that free training.
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Speaking with frameworks is the difference between sounding scattered and being the person people listen to, trust and promote.
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So make sure you check it out.
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So what's the best framework to avoid speaking your thinking process out loud?
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I actually posted a video recently sharing the exact process I'd use to stop rambling.
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So go watch that if you want the process in detail.
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But I'll quickly summarize it here for you too.
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Don't answer immediately.
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Pause.
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take a deep breath and move into the thinker pose
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which is this this gives you time to actually think about the answer
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and when you do this you might think oh man it's
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so weird to pause like that
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but trust me it makes you come across more thoughtful
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and it creates more anticipation for what you're about to say
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next once you've thought of the answer in your head then go ahead
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and use acq the framework we learned earlier again it's answer context question i'll show you what
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that looks like in action all of it
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so Vin what do you think our next step should be look I recommend we go with option B
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because if we go with option a we're gonna hit scaling issues in quarter three how's
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that sound to you see
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that in the first version I verbalized the entire decision tree
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in the second version I delivered the decision that's not to say you shouldn't ever verbalize your thoughts out loud, there are times for this where it's useful.
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Like when you're brainstorming or you're collaborating with other people where this is necessary.
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But when someone needs a decision, a position, verbalizing your thoughts in those particular moments, it costs you credibility.
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You're showing them a rough draft where what they want is actually the final version.
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And look, I get it.
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A lot of us were trained to show our work, especially if you've got a technical role like being an engineer.
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You were rewarded for transparency for showing the exact steps that you took.
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That's great for problem solving but when it comes to communicating especially in high-stakes situations it can come across overwhelming and confusing.
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Alright let's get into mistake number three.
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You're defaulting to agreement without a position.
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It took me years before I could recognize this mistake within my own communication.
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It's when you remain neutral in every decision or question that comes your way.
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Imagine someone on your team asks the following.
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What do you guys want to eat for lunch?
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Yeah, look, I don't really mind where we go.
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Okay.
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Dan?
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I'm easy.
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Whatever the team wants.
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Vin?
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Oh, yeah.
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Well, look, I'm just going to be vague like everybody else
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because I don't want to bear the weight of the decision of where we have lunch, because if I pick a place and then nobody likes it and then you all blame me.
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So I don't know, whatever you guys want to eat, I'm cool with that, whatever.
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Oh man, can you see the problem?
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How annoying is that?
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Not only is it frustrating when your friends can't make a decision on where to go to eat, you end up not bloody going anywhere.
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But in a work context, it gives off the impression that you just go along with other people's decisions, that you don't have an opinion yourself,
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and you're scared of making the wrong move.
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But by not actually taking a position, it makes you forgettable.
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And look, this one's relatable to so many of us, because growing up, a lot of us were taught that being agreeable is the right thing.
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It helps us avoid conflict.
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Especially early in your career, you don't wanna seem difficult, you don't wanna seem overly opinionated, so you stay neutral.
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But being neutral doesn't make you easier to work with.
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And it's invisible to you because you think you're being flexible, but to others it signals a lack of decisiveness.
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And if you do this too often, you slowly exclude yourself from key decisions.
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Maybe you do have an opinion.
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Maybe you're just not sure yet.
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So you default to being neutral because you think it's safer.
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And again, maybe you're scared if you're too direct, it makes you difficult to work with.
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But what happens as a result?
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People stop asking you for your opinion.
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In other words, you're making yourself irrelevant.
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So how do you avoid this?
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Here's exactly what you do.
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When someone asks you a question, actually take a moment to pause and think of your position, and then follow the PRO framework.
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The P stands for position, which means state your position, and then the R stands for reason,
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which essentially means give a reason for the position that you have, and then the O stands for open,
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which essentially is you opening it up for questions.
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And remember, if you want to learn the three most powerful communication frameworks that I use on a daily basis, remember to check out my free training in the description below.
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So, for example, if you're in a team meeting and your manager says the following, we have two options.
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We can either post one video a week on YouTube or two videos.
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What do you say?
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My position is we should be posting two videos a week.
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We've seen a 200% increase in subscribers over the last month, and we need to double down on this while the channel has momentum.
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If we did move to two videos a week, what's the one thing you'd want new viewers to do when they land on one of our videos?
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Peter, the answer's simple.
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They should like the video they're watching and hit subscribe because we're not gonna move on from this skit until they do.
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I love how creative we can be with getting you to subscribe.
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I mean, did you do it?
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No, but seriously, if you want to support us, that teeny weeny action goes a long way.
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All right, back to the point.
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Did you see how powerful that example was in the skit?
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Did it come across difficult?
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Absolutely not.
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So remember to use the PRO framework more often when you're asked about your input on something.
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Because people who actually stand for something are the ones who influence decisions.
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Okay, this next mistake is something I can guarantee 99% of people do.
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Mistake number four is not leading the energy.
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When you're in a room with a group of people, you let the room decide how you show up.
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If they're quiet, you're quiet.
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If they're energetic, you're energetic.
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And there's nothing particularly wrong with that because this is how you build rapport with people, fast.
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By meeting people where they are and matching their energy.
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What I am talking about is understanding
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that you have the power to shift the energy in the room
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and setting the tone for the people to match you instead of just you matching others.
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This is one of the traits of great leaders.
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They don't just copy the energy in the room, they set the tone.
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For me, when I'm talking to my team every single day, there are moments that require high levels of passion.
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Then there are moments that require deep levels of focus.
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As we move from light to funny topics to more serious and thoughtful ones, as a leader I deliberately shift the way I show up.
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I'm guiding the energy of the people around me.
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And this is what makes you magnetic and charismatic as a communicator.
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You don't just contribute a thought, you shift people's energy.
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So practically, how do you do this?
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How do you not only match people's energy but actually set the tone of the room so that others follow your lead?
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Well, step number one, you have to learn to read the room.
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Understand how people are currently showing up with their level of energy.
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Think about how people are using their voice.
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Are they loud?
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Are they quiet?
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Are Are they talking fast or slow?
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Is the topic playful or is it serious and heavy?
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Once you get a good read of the room, step two is to match and mirror them.
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If they're calm and thoughtful, don't engage them with a loud volume, meet them with calmness.
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Again, why is this important?
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Because it creates harmony and makes people feel like you get them.
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And only once you feel you're in rapport, then you move to step three,
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which is to shift your voice slowly to guide them to the energy level you want it to be at.
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If you're calm and thoughtful and you want to shift the energy to something more light and playful, you add a bit more volume, a bit more warmth and melody into your voice.
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You're still with them.
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You're just inviting them to a different level.
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In a leadership context, your job is to meet people where they are
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and then take them to where the conversation needs to go.
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And yes, this is hard.
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You don't need to be a motivational speaker on standby 24 seven, but the people who grow the fastest and create the most impact,
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they aren't afraid to set the tone of the room and not just conform.
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Here's the last one.
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This is the one that kept me stuck the longest.
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Mistake number five.
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Not playing your instrument to its fullest potential.
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Imagine a friend gifted you a guitar but he never actually taught you how to play it.
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That guitar will sit on the shelf, collect dust and become wasted potential.
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Most of you don't realize this, but your voice is also an instrument.
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And just like how my friend gave me this guitar without teaching me how to play it, no one actually gave you the instruction manual on how to use your voice.
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When was the last time someone sat you down and taught you how to play with your instrument, your voice?
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It took me over 10 years to master my communication skills.
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And I can tell you right now, it's the one skill that has transformed my life.
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And I don't say that lightly.
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I've been lucky enough to help millions of people unlock their voice and play their instruments better.
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And when they do, they unlock their potential in their careers.
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They get promoted, they get recognized, and finally get seen for the value that they bring, not just the work they do in the background.
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So what does playing your instrument actually look like?
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Well, most of us only play the same five keys on the piano regardless of what we're talking about.
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They use the same melody, they use the same rate of speech, and they use the same volume, kind of like I'm doing right now.
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The goal is to learn how to play all 88 keys of your piano or guitar, however many keys there are on that instrument over there.
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The goal is to learn how to be dynamic as a communicator.
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And what's a practical way to do this?
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Learning how to control a few simple dials, your rate of speech, your volume, your melody.
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When you speed up, it makes you sound more passionate.
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When you slow down, it adds weight to your words and highlights what you're saying.
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When you speak loud, you're showing confidence and vitality.
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And when you speak quietly, you're forcing people to lean in.
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And when you add a little bit more melody to your voice, not only does it make you more dynamic, it makes you more engaging and memorable.
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The greatest communicators know how to control these dials when they're communicating, and they mix it up to keep you engaged.
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Sometimes they speed up, sometimes they lower their voice, sometimes they use lots of melody.
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This is what makes you more dynamic and also makes you easier to listen to.
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These are the five mistakes that most people make when they speak and now you can't unsee it.
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Sorry.
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Replace these mistakes with the new behaviors I've shared with you in this video
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and you've unlocked a whole new version of you that no longer is overlooked and ignored
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but rather is respected and listened to.
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Don't be so attached to who you are in the present that you don't give the future version of you a chance.
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Make sure you check out the link in the description for my free training to dive deeper into communication frameworks.
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I'll see you in the next video.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “You're Making These Communication Mistakes” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: mistake, framework, communication. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 257 cümle ve 3281 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 17:18 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 190 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %87’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay. 257 cümlenin 42 tanesi soru; soru tonlaması ve kısa cevaplar için iyi bir alıştırma.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| melody isim | /ˈmɛl.ə.di/ | melodi, ezgi |
| thoughtful sıfat | /ˈθɔːtfəl/ | dalgın, düşünceli |
| pause isim | /pɔːz/ | mola, teneffüs |
| overlook fiil | /ˈoʊ.vɚˌlʊk/ | gözden kaçırmak |
| unlock fiil | /ʌnˈlɑk/ | açmak, kilidini açmak |
| invisible sıfat | /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/ | görünmez |
| stake isim | /steɪk/ | kazık |
| skit isim | hiciv, parodi | |
| playful sıfat | /ˈpleɪfl̩/ | oyuncu, oyunbaz |
| confuse fiil | /kənˈfjuːz/ | karıştırmak |
| perceive fiil | /pɚˈsiv/ | algılamak |
| subscribe fiil | /səbˈskɹaɪb/ | abone olmak |
| brainstorming isim | beyin fırtınası, fikir fırtınası | |
| charismatic sıfat | /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/ | karizmatik |
| concise sıfat | /kənˈsaɪs/ | mucez, özlü |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| come across fiil | karşıdan karşıya geçmek | |
| show up fiil | ortaya çıkmak | |
| check out fiil | gözden geçirmek | |
| speed up fiil | /spiːdˈʌp/ | hızlanmak, hızlandırmak |
| give off fiil | /ɡɪv ɒf/ | yaymak, saçmak |
| grow up fiil | büyümek, yetişmek | |
| slow down fiil | yavaşlamak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- Why does this happen to you?
- Why does it happen to me?
- Why does it happen to all of us?
- Did you need any more detail?
- What if we did that instead?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | I've made · haven't actually thought · I've already given |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | be overlooked · being asked · is aligned |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | position, which means · people who actually · people who grow |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, don't, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 100 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfəl/, thinker /ˈθɪŋ.kɚ/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/, thorough /ˈθʌɹoʊ/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: reshape /ɹiːˈʃeɪ̯p/, subconscious /sʌbˈkɑn.ʃəs/, anticipation /ænˌtɪs.əˈpeɪ.ʃən/, shelf /ʃɛlf/, passionate /ˈpæʃənɪt/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: communicator /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪtə/, invisible /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/, energetic /ˌɛn.əɹˈdʒɛt.ɪk/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/, decisiveness /dɪˈsaɪsɪvnəs/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- /w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: overwhelm /ˌoʊ.vɚˈwɛlm/, warmth /wɔɹmθ/, quietly /ˈkwaɪ.ɪt.li/
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: stake /steɪk/, playful /ˈpleɪfl̩/, frustrate /ˈfɹʌsˌtɹeɪt/, scatter /ˈskætɚ/, standby /ˈstændˌbaɪ̯/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: ramble /ˈɹæmbəl/, rapport /ɹæˈpɔɹ/, amplify /ˈæm.plə.faɪ/, charismatic /ˌkɛɹəzˈmætək/, scatter /ˈskætɚ/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; melody, thoughtful, pause gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.