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Today we have eight mindset shifts that you need to adopt if you want to become the best version of yourself.
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And these are not tactical strategies
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because what the best version of you looks like might be a different roadmap than for someone else.
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But what we're going to talk about instead is the mindset
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that you need to have and the way that you need to think differently.
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So these are things that will apply pretty much to anyone if you're trying to become more successful, you're trying to become the best version of yourself,
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maybe a year from now you want to look back and you want to become unrecognizable, starting with radical ownership.
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It may not be your fault, but it absolutely is your responsibility for everything in life.
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And that's a really hard thing for a lot of people to do
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because you kind of want to protect your ego
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or obviously it's much easier to point the blame at everything and everyone but your own set of actions.
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But when you get really honest with yourself and you say, okay, this thing happened to me, this really hard thing happened.
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I went through a hard season of life.
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I can't necessarily control that, but I can control how I respond to it.
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Yeah.
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Cause it's in a sense, it's like dropping that, like that victim, you know, mentality around that stuff and just being like, okay, cool.
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This happened.
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Like Audrey said, regardless if it is or isn't your fault, it's your responsibility to take action, to get a different outcome.
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And if you always look at those circumstances, like all these things are happening to me, ah, crap, this happened to me again,
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versus like just shifting that lens and be like, okay, cool, that happened.
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It's my responsibility.
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What can I learn from it?
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Regardless if like I directly like had something in this,
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that that happened, I can still take ownership over the next decision I make to create a different outcome around that.
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Yeah.
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I think there's like this common notion for some people
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that they believe people who are successful are successful
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because they've had less bad things happen to them or maybe they've had it significantly easier.
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But the thing is, first one, what does believing that actually do for you?
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Does it actually help you?
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I don't think so.
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But if instead you look at people that are successful and you say, you know what, they've probably had some pretty bad things happen to them as well and they've experienced hard seasons,
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but maybe instead they just chose to do good with it.
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And so successful people aren't successful because they've had less bad things happen to them.
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They're successful in spite of that.
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They're successful because what they choose to do with the bad things that have happened and they turn it into learning lessons.
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They let it be something that they can grow from and evolve from.
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Absolutely.
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The next thing is accept that what you are not changing, you are choosing.
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This is so difficult for a lot of people to sit with.
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And again, you can go into the victim mindset and you can say, well, again, this thing happened to me and I didn't choose that.
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Okay, sure, but you are still choosing how you respond to it.
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So it kind of goes hand in hand with taking radical ownership.
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But if you currently don't like the outcomes in your life, then look back at your choices and say, you know what, maybe I'm here because of my actions.
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Right.
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Right.
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It's like being in a relationship that isn't just good for you, right?
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It's like, oh my God, my boyfriend did this again.
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He keeps forgetting this.
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He doesn't treat me the right way.
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And it's like, if you're not choosing to either correct
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that behavior or stand up and say something about it or get out of that relationship, you are choosing to just live inside of those circumstances.
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So very easy example to look at there.
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It's like, and then you look at where am I doing that in other areas of my life?
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Or maybe I'm just like complaining about something that's happening that I don't like, but I'm not actually putting in the work or having the hard conversation
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or doing the hard thing to actually start to shift that narrative and get the outcome that I want.
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Yeah.
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And look, there's nothing wrong with venting from time to time, but you never want to be around someone who is constantly complaining about the same things over and over,
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but they're doing nothing different to change their circumstances.
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The third thing is daily deposits.
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I know in the self-improvement world, everyone talks about, look at where you want to be a year from now.
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Look at where you want to be five years from now.
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And yes, I think it's great to have a general idea of what those big goals are
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and who you want to become because then you can reverse engineer it.
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But the problem is sometimes I think
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that it feels like such a big mountain to climb
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that people avoid taking the first step because there's a million steps
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that you need to take between now and where you want to be a year from now.
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But just focus on the only thing that you can control, which is the day in front of you.
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And so at the end of every day, if you can say, today I got better.
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Today I got even 1% better.
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And even if it was a day that didn't go my way, did I show up in a way that was in alignment with who I want to become?
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If you can say that at the end of the day, then you can look back a year from now and know
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that you got better and that you did everything in your power to become unrecognizable and reach your goals.
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Exactly.
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And those daily deposits, just from like a simple fitness sense, like, did you get your step goal in today?
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Right?
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Did you eat the quality meals you said you were going to eat?
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Did you get the training session in today if you had it on your schedule and on your calendar?
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It's like, did you do those little things?
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Because it's good to have the year-long goal of having this lean, toned, amazing body.
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But did you just take that one step today, the simple step?
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It's the little thing.
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And if you can make those deposits, it just compounds.
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Yeah, they compound over time.
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And I think the biggest thing too is if you didn't do it that day, don't shame yourself, don't spiral,
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don't allow that to be the thing that completely sets you back and gets you off track.
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Let it be a learning lesson.
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Again, at the end of the day, OK, I didn't hit my macros today.
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Why didn't you hit your macros?
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How can I show up differently tomorrow to make sure
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that I actually do find the big pawns
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if you right now have a vision that is larger than any one
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that you know in your life sometimes that vision you might question
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if it's too big if it's unrealistic but
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if you get into the big pawns where you are the small fish where your vision is step one and their vision,
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it's like, this is so achievable, right?
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You need to be around people who make your goals almost feel small, not in a way that like belittles your goals, but in a way that makes it seem like,
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oh, of course I can accomplish that.
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Because if they did, and you realize this is something that we talk about all the time, you know, sometimes you see people that have done really big things in life and you assume that like,
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maybe they have something that I don't have, right and it feels not achievable but then once you get around those people you realize that
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they're not all that different and like in the best way possible they're not necessarily special
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you know what i mean and
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so every time we've gotten into a bigger room where we
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once looked up to those people maybe we still do right
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respect the hell out of them um you really start to see
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that it's just a few different set of actions that they took maybe differently that you can also take
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to get to where they are as well in your own way.
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Because it pulls you forward and it lights a fire underneath you
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because the inverse effect happens when you're around those ponds or in those ponds where people aren't as ambitious.
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Or maybe your ambition matches the same ambition of everybody else, but it's not ideally where you want to be,
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but you're still not being called or pushed to do more because you feel like I'm kind of capped out.
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Everyone around me, we're all doing the same.
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It's kind of okay here.
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but in the back of your mind you're like but I do want that and soon as you enter into these
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bigger ponds bigger rooms better environments of individuals that are one two three ten steps ahead
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it just immediately like calls you to be like okay cool now it's like now you can feel the pull
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because every time you get into those bigger ponds you feel
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like kind of the pull up towards the top of the room right the top of the environment
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and you want to have that because
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you know not to say that it's like a motivating factor
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but like it kind of plays into it a little bit
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where it's like I want to actually step it up
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because I'm seeing other people that are doing better and like
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if there's a little bit of competitiveness in you and all
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that stuff that's good it's good stuff to actually you know propel you forward
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because it's easy to get complacent when you're in the room
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that is all acting complacent yeah I think there's a good level of healthy competition
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that you want and a good level of pressure that will help to drive you forward.
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But again, it makes me think of how when there is one moldy piece of fruit in the little container, then the rest of the fruit starts to mold.
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It's about who you are around.
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And so if right now you're really like questioning things or especially if things feel really,
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really hard and you're not around people that are also doing the really, really hard thing, it can feel very lonely as well.
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And maybe you start to think like, oh, it's just too hard or like, oh, maybe I shouldn't be doing this thing.
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And you wanna just like kind of coast and be okay with good enough because everyone else is okay with good enough.
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But you wanna be around people that are constantly pushing the boundaries of what's possible.
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Yeah, because both things are contagious.
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It'll be contagious for that, like the moldy fruit example, it's contagious for the rest of the pack to spoil, right?
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Same thing if you're around people that aren't as ambitious, it's contagious in that direction as it's contagious in the other direction.
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Yeah.
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And you'll have different groups in your life.
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There's never going to be one friend group that is going to fulfill all of your needs, I found.
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Or one, let's say, like coaching cohort or mastermind that is going to fulfill all of your needs.
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That's why we have different mentorships that's why we have different
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you know groups of friends like some friends they've known you from the start
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and like you guys have grown in different directions
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and you still love and value their friendship
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but maybe they're not necessarily there to push and
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and really help you evolve and that's okay like you need those people in your life
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but if you don't have the people in your life
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that do challenge you and do push you to grow then you need to find
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that big pond doing the hard things consistently, nothing will boost your confidence more than this.
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When you do something that you said you would, the thing that is inconvenient, the thing that is just like so grueling and daunting,
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when you consistently do those things, you start taking your own word more seriously.
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And one thing that I always say is like, if you want to be taken more seriously, you have to start taking yourself more seriously because people will start to respect you
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only to the level that you really respect yourself and the way that you show up for yourself.
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So the more that you consistently do those things, the more that you will build more self-trust because you have stacked the evidence that your word actually means something.
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Completing a big goal that two to three years ago seemed very steep or near impossible.
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There's something called the misogi.
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Misogi, yes.
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It's a Japanese term of essentially completing something that is like it's a year goal, right?
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But it's ambitious.
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Like a misogi would be a marathon for some people.
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For others, it's an Ironman.
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For others, it's like jumping into the piano and then learning some very melodic song by the end of the year.
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And it's like it's something that you're training for, you're putting in time for each and every single day.
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Like that's a really big goal.
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And I think what that does for you doing something of
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that stature is it really just expands your self-belief around a lot of stuff.
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Because for Audrey and I, I'd look back, you know, two, three, six years ago, it's hard to imagine, you know, being in the position we are now,
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like at that point in time, right?
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You can think about it, you can set the goal, but until you actually start to put forth the efforts, the daily deposits, and then you get there and then boom,
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it opens the door, opens a new world of possibility.
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Yeah, and I think people always say you need to have delusional self-belief.
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Like you need to believe in yourself so much, but if your track record is that you never follow through with things, it's really hard to believe in yourself and no amount of affirmations is gonna fix that.
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So you really have to start, and sometimes it's just a matter of starting small, right?
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Like you said that you were going to go to the gym today
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and you go to the gym today and then you stack
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that and you stack it and then you keep setting larger goals.
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But once you accomplish one big goal, like for me, what really opened up the door was competing.
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And that's one of the reasons why I still have such a love for bodybuilding, because I was forced to evolve so much in there.
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And it required so much of me for nine months that I was competing or prepping, sorry, for the nine months of my competition prep.
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There was no slacking off.
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There was no half assing it.
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At the end of the day, I was going to be stepping on stage.
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And the package that I brought to the stage was the compound effect of the way
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that I showed up every single day.
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And so accomplishing that goal of I said I was going to compete
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and I competed and it took a lot out of me, created a level of self-belief that opened up the door of possibilities of what else can I accomplish in my life?
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And I believed that I could because I did something really, really hard that maybe in the beginning I questioned whether I could do it.
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And there were absolutely times that I wanted to give up, but I didn't.
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And so when you go into another big goal that you set after accomplishing another one, you know that there's going to be challenges.
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You expect the unexpected.
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And because of that, you're prepared.
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Your mindset is prepared.
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And so if you just set the big goal and then you start setting other big goals, next thing you know, the goals
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that you're setting two years from now isn't even something
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that you could have comprehended or wrapped your mind around a few years ago.
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So you have to follow through with at least one big goal, even if it's a Masogi, even if it's just one a year, because the doors will start opening,
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the possibilities will start opening and you'll have this mindset of everything is figureoutable.
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Like I may not trust that it's going to work out in my favor, but I do trust that I am going to do everything in my power to make it work.
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Like sometimes you don't know whether it's going to work or not, but you know that you're going to do the work.
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And if you at least have the faith in that and you have the confidence in yourself, then you can kind of trust that like it's going to work out.
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I love it.
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You need the evidence.
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I love it.
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And into our next one is saying no more often and decreasing your tolerance with yourself.
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So, you know, we've experienced a lot of this, you know, more recently in the last year, two years, as like things begin to expand,
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you have to, you have to be able to
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discern between what things I might've been able to get away with a couple of years ago
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when I had less responsibilities or I was less ambitious or I didn't have as much going on as comparative to now.
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And that's been something we've been kind of stepping through, but we realize it's such an important aspect, right?
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Not to say that like you need to cut everything out and eliminate all this stuff,
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but you really have to wind down on things that are deterring you from getting where you want to get to.
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And also at the same time is like, you know, do I have a tolerance for, you know, having just, I don't know,
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maybe mediocre people around me that aren't super ambitious
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or don't really respect my work or like
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that I want to work really hard or
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that I want to do all these things and that I want to put in more effort.
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So it's really kind of navigating and understanding that.
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And I think everyone has to go through that on their own, but I think it's important to know early on so you can kind of get the feeling when it comes around.
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Yeah.
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Because it's almost like if you're not doing it at certain stages, you can feel that like that disappointment in yourself that you'll get,
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the guilt that you feel like should have like not done
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that thing or why have I been dragging this out for three months?
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I should have, you know, made this decision months ago to like put myself in a better position
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because I've been like dealing with this one thing that could have been avoided.
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So it's really those things.
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It's hard to, you know, put it on one thing because everybody's going to have different circumstances for what they're experiencing.
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But just knowing that having to say no, decreasing your tolerance for the BS going on around you is what you really have to start to figure out.
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Because if you don't, that's kind of one of the bigger things
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that could keep you spinning your wheels for a heck of a lot longer than you probably would want to.
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And I would say it's probably one of the hardest ones.
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This is still something that we struggle with.
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These other things, as I'm reading them out loud, I'm like, yeah, we kind of have it down pat.
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But it's also one of those things that you don't just check the box and now you're done.
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It's a constant evolution because there's a new devil at every level, right?
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And so when you get to that next version of yourself with larger goals and bigger ambitions, you'll realize that there's a new set of sacrifices that exists there.
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And there was a time where we could get away with going to a three-day music festival, stepping away from our team and messages and all the things.
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And it was okay.
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We would just get back on Monday and we'd get back right to it.
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Now, us going to a three-day music festival where we're staying up until the sun comes up
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and we're not feeling our best coming back, we almost can't really sacrifice that these days.
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And that's okay, right?
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That's okay because the outcome that we want is more important to us
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and more of a priority than that three-day music festival.
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Now, obviously, we still prioritize fun and travel, but it just looks different these days.
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Like, there's not necessarily travel without work, right?
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Or again, if, like, you're working towards improving your body composition, you might have to have a season where you are stricter with yourself.
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And that's kind of all of what this one comes back to, is, like, you have to be strict with yourself, right?
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And if you are not only tolerating mediocrity from yourself, but also from your environment, the people around you, if you manage a team, the people on your team,
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then like nothing changes if nothing changes.
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And so you kind of have to like, one of the ways to put this actually, if you were, if an audience was watching a movie of your life,
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what would they be screaming at you?
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And whatever first comes to mind is probably the thing
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that needs your attention the most and the thing that needs to be changed, right?
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Maybe for you, it's like, get off your damn phone.
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Maybe you're spending too much time doom scrolling and you could be spending
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that time working towards something that you want to accomplish.
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So there's things in your life that immediately you can probably think of.
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Like even for us, there's things in my life where immediately I'm like, you know, we're getting to a point where I do think that that thing is potentially holding me back.
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For example, I'll be vulnerable.
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There's times where like we go out to a dinner
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and I had maybe like two cocktails and then I wake up the next morning and I don't feel so great.
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And I'm like, that wasn't even worth it.
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But I sometimes still consistently do it.
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Right.
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And then at some point you just get to a point where like you have to stop tolerating
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that from yourself and you have to get stricter with yourself or otherwise, again, nothing is going to change.
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And that goes hand in hand with having seasons of going all in.
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like you have seasons where you're kind of maintaining
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and I think those seasons are also important those are seasons
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where maybe your focus is shifted like you know maybe you you are a new mom right
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and so that season is you are giving your all to like postpartum
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and navigating the challenges that come with that
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but also you know being as present as possible with your
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newborn like that's a different season than maybe what it was two years ago
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but when you know you are working towards something really big, you can't just dip a toe in.
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You do have to go all in and there's going to be a form of restriction that comes with that.
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I think that restriction gets a really bad rep.
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It does.
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Yeah.
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Because I mean, if you don't have these, it's like if your results up into this point haven't been to the point that you want, right?
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If you're really trying to get this outcome, you have to think like you've probably been half in, half out. And
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that got you to a certain point where maybe you have
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a little bit of some balance on both sides of the spectrum
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and you're able to do some of this and do some of that.
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But like most of the time, if you're really wanting to be ambitious about getting to certain heights
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and certain places where only a select few of people really get to from a percentage standpoint, it's going to require you to do more that's required
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and cut out some of that excess in order to become that elite version of yourself.
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And it kind of takes going through that too, to kind of see it.
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And then once you, once it's really clear, it's like, okay, you're going to be at a crossroads and you're going to have a choice of, you know, do I really,
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you know, commit to the Indian here and, you know, really dig in, sink my teeth all the way in and just fricking go for it.
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Or do I continue to, to live in the la la land of like good enough.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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So it's like, if you really want to, you know, have the really ambitious goal and do it to the, to the max, do it to the,
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the 10th degree, you have to be willing to say, okay, let's fricking lock in here.
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Let's really go all the way and let's push all this stuff to the wayside
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because this is more important to me than kind of having some of that.
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Yeah.
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And we've talked about this before, But like if you want what most people don't have, you have to be willing to do what most people aren't willing to do.
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You want an above average life, stop doing average shit.
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Right.
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That's that's it at the end of the day.
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That's all that we're saying here is like, you know, above average things or having outcomes in your life
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that a lot of people maybe don't have because it's at the top of the mountain.
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And there's restriction that comes with that.
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And that is not a bad thing
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because the opposite of not having restriction kind of just means that you are coasting and it's comfortable.
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But you have to get uncomfortable and you have to have those those strategic restrictions.
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And the thing is, like, you know, if you have something that you really desire in your life, if you're not willing to do what it takes to get to that thing that you're desiring,
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then simply release yourself from the desire.
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That's it.
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So these are things that if you apply to your life
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and you start thinking in these ways and you accept that this is what has to happen, right?
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Like things have to change.
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Again, you can look back a year from now and realize
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that you are an entirely different person with a new set of beliefs.
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It's not easy.
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It's not comfortable.
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But it is absolutely necessary.
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Love it.
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Thank you guys for tuning in.
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We'll see you guys in the next episode.
326
Thank you.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “How to Become the Best Version of Yourself This Year”. Questo video contiene 326 frasi e 4601 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 23:03. Chi parla va veloce, circa 200 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 90% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| outcome sostantivo | /ˈaʊtkʌm/ | risultato |
| ambitious aggettivo | /æmˈbɪʃ.əs/ | ambizioso |
| accomplish verbo | /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/ | compiere, realizzare |
| pond sostantivo | /pɑnd/ | stagno |
| mindset sostantivo | /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/ | mentalità, modo di pensare |
| restriction sostantivo | /ɹɪˈstɹɪkʃən/ | restrizione |
| contagious aggettivo | /kənˈteɪ.d͡ʒəs/ | contagioso, infettivo |
| necessarily avverbio | /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/ | necessariamente, a tutti i costi |
| belief sostantivo | /bɪˈliːf/ | credito, credenza |
| compete verbo | /kəmˈpiːt/ | competere, gareggiare |
| consistently avverbio | /kənˈsɪstəntli/ | coerentemente |
| deposit sostantivo | /dɪˈpɑ.zɪt/ | deposito, versamento |
| circumstance sostantivo | /ˈsɝ.kəmˌstæns/ | circostanza |
| ownership sostantivo | /ˈoʊnɚʃɪp/ | proprietà, padronanza |
| differently avverbio | /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/ | differentemente, diversamente |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| go through verbo | attraversare | |
| get away with verbo | farla franca, cavarsela | |
| open up verbo | aprire | |
| come around verbo | /kʌ.məˈɹaʊnd/ | ripensarsi, tornare in sé |
| come back verbo | tornare | |
| come up verbo | venire fuori, emergere | |
| cut out verbo | smetterla, finirla | |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- What can I learn from it?
- Does it actually help you?
- He doesn't treat me the right way.
- It's like, did you do those little things?
- Why didn't you hit your macros?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | they've had · they've probably had · have happened |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | being called · be taken · was forced |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | people who are · someone who is · control, which is |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 113 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, don't, I'm. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: marathon /ˈmæɹəθən/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: ambitious /æmˈbɪʃ.əs/, accomplish /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/, restriction /ɹɪˈstɹɪkʃən/, ownership /ˈoʊnɚʃɪp/, ambition /æmˈbɪʃ.ən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, essentially /ɪˈsɛnʃəli/, evolution /ˌiːvəˈluːʃ(ə)n/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: heck /hɛk/, comprehend /ˌkɑmpɹɪˈhɛnd/, cohort /ˈkoʊ̯ˌhɔɹt/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: ambitious /æmˈbɪʃ.əs/, accomplish /əˈkɑm.plɪʃ/, pond /pɑnd/, mindset /ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/, contagious /kənˈteɪ.d͡ʒəs/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: ambitious /æmˈbɪʃ.əs/, circumstance /ˈsɝ.kəmˌstæns/, stack /stæk/, ambition /æmˈbɪʃ.ən/, expand /ɪkˈspænd/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come outcome, ambitious, accomplish.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.