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1
I always felt stuck, behind, and late until I did this.
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If you're starting this year already feeling behind, you are not alone.
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And more importantly, you are not behind.
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Let me tell you a fact most people don't know.
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Studies show that nearly seven out of 10 adults feel behind on their life timeline.
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Behind in love, behind in their career, behind financially, behind where they should be by now.
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And here's the twist.
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Everyone is comparing themselves to everyone else and everyone thinks they're losing.
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People fascinate me.
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The married people envy the single people.
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The single people envy the married people.
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People with careers envy people who are entrepreneurs.
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People who are entrepreneurs envy the people with stability.
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No one feels ahead.
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Everyone feels behind.
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How many of you listening right now feel like you're behind in one of these areas?
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You're starting the year and you're already thinking, look at that person.
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They got promoted last year.
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Look at that person.
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They're making a difference.
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Look at that person.
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They've got their job.
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Look at that person.
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They've got a few more followers than me.
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Today, I want to show you, number one, why you feel behind psychologically and culturally.
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Number two, why your timeline is not late, statistically and scientifically.
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And number three, how to stop letting comparison ruin your year.
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I also want to give you the steps to rebuild confidence, momentum, and purpose all in this episode.
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This episode might be one of the most important ones you hear all year.
30
Let's begin.
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Let's talk about the truth about why you feel behind.
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There are three main reasons we feel behind, and none of them are your fault.
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Reason number one, we compare our insides to other people's outsides.
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There's something called the highlight bias.
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You see people's weddings, promotions, vacations, homes, milestones, but you never see their breakdowns,
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their failures, their doubts, their setbacks, or their insecurities.
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Statistically, people overestimate how happy others are and underestimate how happy they are.
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You're comparing your confusion to someone else's filter.
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No wonder you feel behind.
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Stop comparing yourself to others.
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You don't know the battles they hide or the bridges they had to burn to get there.
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Stop comparing yourself to others.
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Your timeline is custom made.
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Theirs was never designed to fit you.
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Stop comparing yourself to others.
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Success looks different on everyone and so does the struggle.
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Stop comparing yourself to others.
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Your progress is happening quietly, internally in ways no photo or post can capture.
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And stop comparing yourself to others.
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You're not here to match anyone.
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You're here to become the person only you can be.
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So the reason we compare ourselves is because we don't know enough context.
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If you only see someone's post and assume you know them, you know nothing.
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If you only see someone's tweet and assume you know them, you know nothing.
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If you only see someone's status update and think you know them, you know nothing.
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When you envy someone, you have to learn to study them.
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When you study someone, you get context.
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And when you get context, you realize you're more likely in the same place or even better off.
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Robin Roberts famously said, if everyone throw their problems into a pile, they'd immediately grab theirs back.
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We compare the worst of our lives to the best of everyone else is, of course you feel behind.
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When if you were actually able to get to know people deeply, this is one of the reasons why having a shallow understanding of lots of people is so harmful.
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Because when you have a shallow understanding of everyone, you think everyone's doing better.
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When you have a deeper understanding of everyone, you recognize you're all kind of going through the same thing.
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Reason number two, you were sold a timeline that doesn't exist.
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Graduate by 22, career by 25, married by 30, kids by 35, successful by 37, fulfilled by 40.
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This timeline was invented in the 1950s and hasn't been real for decades.
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Today, the average age of marriage is the highest it's been in history.
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Most people change careers three to seven times.
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People find their purpose in their 30s, 50s, even 60s.
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the average age of a successful entrepreneur is not 21, it's 45.
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You are not late.
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The timeline you're comparing yourself to is outdated.
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You're not late.
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You might be moving slower because you've had more to carry, not because you're doing something wrong.
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You're not late.
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Half the people you think are ahead of you just feel as confused inside.
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You're not late.
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You're taking a real path, not the imaginary one you thought you'd be on at 18.
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You're not late.
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You're building your life while figuring yourself out.
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And that takes time for everyone.
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See, this idea that there was a perfect time to have kids, a perfect time to get married, a perfect time to win at life isn't real.
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Everyone's timeline is absolutely different.
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And when we try to live our life based on what the people around us are doing.
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Think about how life would go for a second.
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If you did everything at the time everyone around you did it, how would that feel?
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That means you'd have to rush getting married to someone you don't love because you hadn't found them yet.
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You had to rush having children because everyone else was having them and you felt behind.
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If you do things that you don't want to do just because you feel behind, you will never be happy in your life.
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Because decisions should be made when you're happy, when you're ready, when you're peaceful, when you're content, when you're excited,
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not when you're scared or anxious or nervous.
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Reason number three is our brain is wired for falling behind anxiety.
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Neuroscientists found that humans experience something called temporal comparison stress.
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We don't just compare ourselves to other people we compare ourselves
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to the person we thought we'd be by now think about
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that for a second you don't just feel behind
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because of other people you feel behind
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because of the pressure you put on yourself we feel behind not because life is wrong but because our expectations were unrealistic.
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We feel behind because we thought we'd be in this position by now.
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And everything else is just a reminder of our inadequacy.
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But remember, when you made that timeline, you didn't really know that much.
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How many of us at 18 thought we knew when we were getting married?
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How many of us at 25 thought we knew when we'd have kids?
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How many of us at 15 thought we knew when we'd be successful?
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But what was that based on?
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It wasn't based on reality.
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It was just an imaginary made -up version of what we thought life was going to be like.
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Here's the truth.
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No one predicts their life accurately.
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Not one single person.
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Your plan wasn't wrong.
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It just didn't account for the fact that you're human, right?
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Your plan wasn't weak.
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It's just that you didn't realize there was so much more to life.
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Your plan wasn't slow or unorganized.
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It was just you learned so much more about yourself moving forward
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Maybe you knew exactly what you wanted to be at 18
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But then when you actually became it and you did that job You realized there was nothing like what you wanted
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There's nothing wrong with
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that You didn't make a mistake You didn't go off track You actually just discovered what
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that passion felt like in reality
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I grew up in my teens thinking I may want to be a graphic designer
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Or an art director I loved it I never actually did that for work I use it a lot as a hobby.
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I never actually did it for work, but I think if I would have, I would have figured out quite quickly that that wasn't me.
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I ended up becoming a consultant.
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That was definitely not me.
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But if I sit there and I go, wow, and I was there at this point, I was 26 years old.
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I was a consultant.
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It wasn't what I wanted to do.
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And if I thought to myself, I messed up, I'm behind, what can I do now?
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I'll never be here today.
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I'm here with you today because at 28, I decided to move in the direction of what I cared about.
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And you can too.
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When we talk about well -being, we often focus on what we eat, how we move, or how we manage our thoughts.
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But our environment matters too, especially the air we breathe every day at home.
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Many people don't realize that allergens like pollen, dust mite matter, and pet dander don't just stay outside.
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They can linger in the air and get trapped in fabrics around us.
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That's why Clorox Pure Air Spray really stands out It's designed
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to neutralize common household allergens in the air Helping you create
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a more comfortable space Before those allergens can turn into something bigger
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And because allergens don't just live in the air Clorox Pure also has a fabric
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and carpet spray That works on soft surfaces like carpets, curtains and bedding Where allergens love to hide All right.
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It's not about reacting after discomfort sets in.
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It's about being proactive with your space.
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Add Clorox Pure to your daily routine to stop allergens before they become allergies.
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Find it in the air care aisle at a retailer near you.
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Let me give you some real evidence.
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Most people arrive later than you think.
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Research shows that the average person finds career clarity in their mid -30s.
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The average person hits financial stability in their late 30s to mid 40s.
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Creative breakthroughs often happen around age 40 to 50.
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Emotional maturity peaks around 45 to 55.
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If anything, you might be ahead of the schedule, but you're definitely not behind.
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The evidence shows that just
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because we hear a couple of stories of a 21 -year -old billionaire
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and a 30 -year -old who's really mature and a 35 -year -old who saved the planet,
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we start measuring ourselves against these 1 % or even less than, not recognizing the majority of people are in exactly the same space we are.
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Here's some more evidence.
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Life satisfaction has a U -shape.
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Studies across 130 countries show a consistent pattern.
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Life satisfaction dips in your 20s and 30s, then rises in your 40s, 50s and 60s.
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Meaning feeling lost now isn't a flaw.
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It's universal.
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It's part of the human curve.
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And the reason why I say that is because your 20s
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and 30s are also when you put so much pressure on yourself.
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You care more about what people think.
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You think you should be somewhere else.
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You care more about what other people are doing.
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As you start to lose that, as you get older, it just has less of a hold and control over you.
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But if we were able to step back and go, I want to put positive pressure on myself, but not break myself.
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It's almost like being in the gym and lifting weights.
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You want to lift enough to challenge yourself and push yourself, but not to hurt yourself.
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Sometimes the pressure we put on our mind is hurting us, not helping us.
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And here's even some more evidence.
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Late bloomers are more common than the early ones.
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Oprah got her show at 32.
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Vera Wang became a designer at 40.
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Toni Morrison published her first book at 39.
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Ray Kroc franchised McDonald's at 52.
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Success is not early.
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Success is aligned.
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You're not behind, you're unfolding.
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If all of those people just felt they were behind the whole time, they wouldn't have been present enough to capture the opportunity at that time.
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Your goal is not to think about whether you're ahead or behind.
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And here's the scary thing.
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Here's actually the biggest mistake we make.
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If you believe you're ahead, it means you'll fall behind one day.
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And if you feel you're behind, you'll always want to be ahead, but then scared that someone else will get ahead.
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It's a slippery slope to think that everything is a ranking system.
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It is a slippery slope to live that way, to think that you're ahead or behind, because then you'll feel worse when you're behind, you'll feel insecure when you're at the top.
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If people feel that life is a race,
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you'll feel insecure and anxious at the top and you'll feel depressed and disappointed at the bottom.
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When you realize that life is not a race, it is simply your path,
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you don't feel the insecurity of being number one and you don't feel the depression of being lost.
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You recognize you are where you're meant to be doing what you're supposed to do
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because we have to recognize that feeling behind can be dangerous.
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When you believe you're behind, you do three things.
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Number one, you rush decisions you should take slowly.
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Wrong jobs, wrong relationships, wrong priorities.
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Number two, you quit things too early.
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You assume slow progress means wrong direction.
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Number three, you stop enjoying the life you actually have.
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You live inside imaginary pressure instead of real possibility.
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Feeling behind doesn't speed you up.
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It steals your peace and sabotages your progress.
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So what do we do?
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How do you stop feeling behind?
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Here are the practical frameworks that actually work.
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Framework number one, compare less, connect more.
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Don't ask where are they compared to me?
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Ask where am I compared to yesterday?
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Your only real competition is the person you were 24 hours ago.
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This is one of the best mindsets I could possibly give you.
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Only measure yourself based on how you're growing compared to where you want to be and who you are.
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Stop living your life thinking about where everyone else is
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or what you thought you'd be at 15 and now you're 30 years old.
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Have you grown since yesterday?
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Have you grown since last week?
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Are you taking the steps to do that?
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That's where your focus should be.
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Framework number two, rewrite your timeline.
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Take a piece of paper and write, my life is not late, it's layered.
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And now ask yourself, what did I survive?
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What did I learn?
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What did I build internally that no one can see?
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When I lived as a monk for three years, it wasn't available to everyone else.
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Everyone thought I was behind.
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Everyone thought I was lost.
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Everyone around me moved forward.
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But I was making real internal progress that no one else could see.
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That was progress.
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It was invisible, but real.
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And most of your growth happens before anyone sees the results.
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So just because everyone can't see what you're doing, it doesn't mean that it's not valuable.
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And not everything that is valuable can be seen.
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And not everything that is seen is valuable.
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Just because you can see what someone's doing and the success they're having,
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that doesn't mean they're ahead because you could be growing underground and you're about to grow.
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I met so many people when I first started creating content who are far ahead of me in followers, far ahead.
241
And they didn't take me seriously because they didn't think that I would take it seriously.
242
I wanted to collaborate with them.
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I wanted to work with them, but they didn't want to do that with me because I wasn't big enough.
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Not realizing that if we think we're bigger or better or ahead or behind, we'll never grow.
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Framework number three, identify your season.
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You're not behind, you're in a season.
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Are you in a season of healing?
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Are you in a season of rebuilding, learning, transitioning, resting, experimenting?
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You can't compare your season one to someone else's season seven.
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Also, all of these cycles have a different pace.
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Healing has a different pace to transitioning.
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Transitioning has a different pace to performing.
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Performing has a different pace to growing, learning, building.
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Which season are you in?
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Get really clear about what 2026 is about for you.
256
Is 2026 about healing?
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Because then that's going to look very different to someone who's building.
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I've had years when we have been planting seeds.
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And I won't see the success of that in this year.
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I'll only see it in the year after.
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Is my year a failure because I didn't see it?
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Definitely not.
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Framework number four, define progress as consistency, not speed.
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If you take one step every day this year, you'll be 365 steps ahead by next January.
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That's transformation, quiet and consistence.
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Progress is a direction, not a deadline.
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So let's talk about speed.
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Let's say for one month, you're at a speed 10 out of 10.
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But for the rest of the year, you're at a zero out of 10, guess what?
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You were at five out of 10 for the whole year.
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But if you were just a consistent six or seven, you're already beating the speed of one month at 10 out of 10.
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Consistency beats speed if you'll eventually run out of speed.
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If you'll run out of speed and run out of steam, consistency is always going to win.
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Framework number five, ask the question that changes everything.
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Instead of asking, why am I behind?
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Ask, what is this season preparing me for?
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The answer will change the way you see your timeline.
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You have to reframe it.
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You have to look at it from a different angle.
280
There have been so many years where everyone else could think I haven't achieved anything and I'm not moving forward, but we're planting the seeds for next year.
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There are times in my life where I thought I was falling behind, but now I realize I was actually falling into place.
282
I want to share with you the five practical steps to take this year.
283
Number one, make a this is my season statement.
284
Define where you are and own it.
285
Don't worry about anyone else's season.
286
What season are you in?
287
Number two, remove three social media accounts that trigger comparison.
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Protect your mind.
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If you keep comparing yourself to everyone, you will always feel behind.
290
It is not your fault.
291
It's how we're wired.
292
Number three, set one goal for 90 days, not the year.
293
Shorter cycles equals more wins, more progress.
294
Number four, track actions, not outcomes.
295
We often think the outcome decides whether we did something right.
296
Let me give you an example.
297
Let's say you work really hard.
298
on something and the result goes badly, were you wrong?
299
Because let's say you didn't work hard at all and the result went well, were you right?
300
We have to focus on our action, not just the outcome.
301
Because if you did everything right and you continue to do that, you will get the right outcome.
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But if you rely on chance or hope or luck, you can't make that impactful.
303
Outcomes belong to time, actions belong to you.
304
And this one, celebrate invisible progress.
305
I was giving a talk at my company's holiday party recently and I shared this with them.
306
I shared that I recognize all the things that they do that I see, but more importantly, I wanna honor all the things that I don't see.
307
I believe there is so much invisible work that you do,
308
that I do, that we all do, that is never seen and it's your job to try and celebrate it for yourself.
309
Your internal transformation will always come before external results, always.
310
Let me leave you with this.
311
You are not behind.
312
You're learning lessons now that others will have to learn later.
313
You're not behind.
314
You're doing your best in a life that hasn't always been easy.
315
You're not behind.
316
Everyone's figuring things out privately
317
While pretending they're ahead You're not behind You're just on a
318
timeline No one has ever lived before Stop punishing yourself For
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not being where you thought you'd be Start appreciating yourself For not giving up
320
Because one year from now You won't be behind You'll just be grateful
321
That you got started Your path is not delayed It's deliberate and this is your year to walk it with confidence.
322
I'm wishing you all the best for the year ahead.
323
Remember, I'm forever in your corner and always rooting for you.
324
If you love this podcast, you'll love my episode with Lewis Hamilton.
325
Lewis and I talk about why you should stop chasing society's definition of success
326
and how to be more intentional with your goals.
327
You don't want to miss it.
328
It's not about being perfect.
329
It's about just every day, one step at a time, trying to be better, trying to do more i'm learning a lot about myself i
330
had to break myself down in order to be able to be better
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questo video contiene 330 frasi e 3473 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 22:36. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 154 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Il 86% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| compare verbo | /kəmˈpɛɚ/ | paragonare |
| timeline sostantivo | /ˈtaɪmˌlaɪn/ | linea temporale, linea del tempo |
| framework sostantivo | /ˈfɹeɪm.wɜːk/ | struttura portante |
| outcome sostantivo | /ˈaʊtkʌm/ | risultato |
| envy sostantivo | /ˈɛnvi/ | invidia |
| pace sostantivo | /peɪs/ | passo |
| rush verbo | /ɹʌʃ/ | affrettarsi, correre |
| transition sostantivo | /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/ | transizione |
| heal verbo | /ˈhiːl/ | guarire, sanare |
| invisible aggettivo | /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/ | invisibile, dietro le quinte |
| consistency sostantivo | /kənˈsɪs.tən.si/ | coerenza, costanza |
| entrepreneur sostantivo | /ˌɑn.tɹə.pɹəˈnɝ/ | imprenditore, imprenditrice |
| imaginary aggettivo | /ɪˈmæd͡ʒɪˌn(ɛ)ɹi/ | immaginario |
| consistent aggettivo | /kənˈsɪs.tənt/ | costante, continuo |
| practical aggettivo | /ˈpɹæk.tɪ.kəl/ | pratico |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| end up verbo | andare a finire, finire | |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto | |
| give up verbo | arrendersi | |
| go off verbo | esplodere | |
| go through verbo | attraversare | |
| make up verbo | /ˌmeɪk ˈʌp/ | comporsi |
| mess up verbo | incasinare |
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Frasi condizionali if + frase, will/would + verbo — una condizione e il suo risultato | if you feel you're behind, you'll always · If you love this podcast, you'll love |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | was never designed · were sold · was invented |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | hasn't been · it's been · you've had |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | people who are |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 143 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, don't, you'll. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: theirs /ðɛɚz/, breathe /bɹiːð/, breakthrough /ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: rush /ɹʌʃ/, transition /tɹænˈzɪʃ.ən/, capture /ˈkæp.(t)ʃɚ/, transformation /ˌtɹæns.fɔɹˈmeɪ.ʃən/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: invisible /ɪnˈvɪzəb(ə)l/, consistency /kənˈsɪs.tən.si/, entrepreneur /ˌɑn.tɹə.pɹəˈnɝ/, imaginary /ɪˈmæd͡ʒɪˌn(ɛ)ɹi/, stability /stəˈbɪlɪti/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come compare, timeline, framework.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.