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I want you to understand this.
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You don't just create the life that you want by dreaming bigger
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or by meditating every single day and thinking about it
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or by chanting mantras out into the universe and just expecting that it's gonna happen.
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You get what you want by making your dream life feel normal to your nervous system.
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Now, you might be like, what the hell does that mean?
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If the life that you want feels like it's some fantasy
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that's off in the distance future and it's years and years away,
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then that future that you want will always just kind of be out of reach.
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Your subconscious, whether you realize it or not, your nervous system, whether you realize it or not,
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will just quietly reject that future because it seems like something that's in the distance, so it will always be in the distance.
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If you don't think that you'll have it, you'll never actually have it.
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And you might be the best person in the world at vision boarding, or you might be really great at manifesting like a pro.
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But if you're sitting there and there's a little bit of this doesn't feel normal, or there's a little bit of like you're doubting it,
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then I promise you it ain't happening.
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If you want to be there someday, it will always be someday.
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And so what does that mean?
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What it means is if you really want to manifest something, if you really want some,
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which manifest can be spiritual or woo woo or law of attraction, but manifest just means you create, right?
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If you really want to create that future, you need to be there now.
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You need for it to feel like you're there now.
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You need to experience it now.
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And that's the really key phrase for what we're going to talk about today.
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You need to experience it now.
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Now, it's really important to understand this.
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Your nervous system doesn't move towards what is exciting.
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Your nervous system moves towards what is familiar.
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I'll give you a great example.
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There's so many people that reach out to me and they want to change their life.
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And they're like, I'm miserable.
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I hate my life.
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And they want to create something better.
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But they can't get themselves to create something better because their nervous system,
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even though it's miserable, it's familiar and it will always move towards what's familiar.
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So let that sink in for just a second.
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It doesn't move towards what is exciting or what you want or what would be an amazing feeling.
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It moves towards what's familiar.
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And so your brain thinks and creates your emotional operating system doesn't crave the best life.
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It craves the most familiar life because what feels familiar feels safe.
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And if something feels unfamiliar, automatically to the brain and the body,
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it is a little bit unsafe because uncertainty is a threat to the human brain,
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even if it means like staying stuck and staying miserable and staying in the exact same place.
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So let's talk real quick about how to rewire your quote unquote normal
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so that it actually matches the life that you want.
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Let's be real about this whole thing.
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You've probably at some point thought to yourself, I don't know why I keep self -sabotaging.
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I know what I want.
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I know what I need to do, but I'm just not doing it.
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I just can't seem to get myself out of this rut.
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And we will be right back.
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Hey, real quick, let me interrupt you for something exciting.
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On June 10th at 7 p .m.
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Eastern, I'm doing a free live
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Zoom session called Break the Ceiling 2026.
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This is for anybody who knows that they're capable of more,
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but they just keep self -sabotaging and hitting the same ceilings no matter what they try.
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I'm going to teach you exactly why that keeps happening and how to finally change it so that your income, your relationships, your happiness, your mindset,
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your entire life is better.
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You can register for free by scanning that QR code right there
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or by going to BreakTheCeiling2026 .com and I will see you live on that session.
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And now back to the show.
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Well, I want you to know that's not usually laziness.
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It's not usually lack of willpower.
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It's your internal thermostat doing its job, keeping you in the place of what familiar is because familiar, once again, feels safe.
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So it's just keeping you in the place of familiarity.
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So if you grew up in a house that had chaos and struggle and scarcity,
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then the feeling of peace actually can feel threatening to your nervous system.
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Like you can even consciously want to feel peaceful, but it feels really unfamiliar.
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And that means unsafe to the nervous system.
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This is why people almost always get into relationships with people that mirror the traumas from their parents in childhood,
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because even if they don't want those traumas again, it feels familiar to the nervous system.
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And this is really important to understand when we talk about manifesting things.
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You know, if you've dated people who are emotionally unavailable, then real love might feel boring or even wrong to you.
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You have to understand your brain and nervous system are wired for normal, not thriving.
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And I'll give you a real quick example.
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Maybe I had friends who had parents that had a good amount of money.
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And you walk in to a nice house, maybe even a mansion.
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And you're like, oh my God, this is amazing
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and you're like blown away by the house and everything that they have and all of their toys.
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Maybe as a kid, you knew someone like this, or maybe as an adult, you've been into a friend's house that has a really nice house.
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And they got the pool in the backyard and everything that you've ever wanted.
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But I remember as a kid, you're blown away the first couple of times you go over.
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And then if you go over and over and over and over again, after visiting five, six, 10 times, it's still really nice.
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It's still amazing, but it doesn't shock you anymore.
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It doesn't shock the nervous system.
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It's because your nervous system is adjusting and it's saying, oh, this exists.
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This is real.
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I've been here before.
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This is just normal when I go to Bobby's house.
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So you might be in the exact same situation or maybe you've been to a friend's house.
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You're like, holy crap, this place is amazing.
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This is great.
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And you go there five, 10, 15 times.
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And when you walk through the door the 15th time, you're not like, oh my God, this is amazing.
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No, you're just over at John and Stacey's house.
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Right?
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And so it's your nervous system becoming more normalized to going over to their house and this is what they have.
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And if it feels normal, it feels safe.
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And I want you to understand, if you want a life like that, if you want more, you're not crazy for wanting more.
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That's completely okay.
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But if that more feels like winning a lottery ticket, like it's out of reach,
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I'd have to be really lucky to get it if it feels in the distant future, it's never gonna happen for you.
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You won't take aligned action towards it and it'll be like a ghost
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that you keep chasing but you can never actually grab.
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And so you may have heard the phrase before, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
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Why is it that kids who often grow up wealthy also become wealthy adults?
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Well, of course, there have been studies that show
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that there's a lot more opportunities and connections that are afforded to children that are wealthy.
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Their parents have better connections, they get into better schools, all of that as well.
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But it's also been studies to find out it's not just access, it's more of like the energetics behind it.
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Success or wealthy or that life feels familiar to them.
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And the reason why this helps is because of the fact that it feels familiar, it doesn't feel intimidating.
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It feels expected more than anything else.
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It's part of their identity.
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And so studies have found that children who grew up in wealthy households expect to be wealthier.
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It just feels normal.
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And this is important because I'm not saying that like every person who's raised in a wealthy household just immediately becomes wealthy.
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Absolutely not.
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But it becomes easier for them because for them, it doesn't feel out of reach.
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It feels normal.
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Doesn't mean it's guaranteed, but because it is normal, it tends to be easier to get.
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Now, on the flip side of that, if you grew up in a household that lived paycheck to paycheck, then abundance might feel overwhelming.
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It doesn't even feel normal to your nervous system.
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And so you'll find ways if you start making money to get rid of it, to spend it, to burn it,
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to avoid it, to downplay it, just so you get back to your baseline.
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This was one of the things that I did when I first started making money when I was younger
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is I realized when I started making more money
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and I looked at the end of the year
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and my first real time of making money when I was 21 years old,
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I had made five times more than I had the year before then but when I looked at my bank account,
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I had the exact same amount.
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So let's talk about like the energetics of wanting something, okay?
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When you want something, what does that mean inherently?
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It means that you don't have it.
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And if you don't have something, that means that you are in the energy, when you think about the thing, of lack.
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And it might surprise you because, you know, you might say, hey, this is the life that I want,
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but wanting something too much can actually work against you.
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Because wanting means I don't have.
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And it signals lack, not alignment.
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Instead of wanting that house or that relationship or that business, you have to have the idea of like, it's going to happen.
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It's already on its way to me.
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I'm aligning with that version of me.
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Like what I want is already coming to me.
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It just hasn't gotten here yet.
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So it's not like I want this it's like no this thing is happening i just haven't gotten it yet it's
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really subtle, but your subconscious picks up on stuff like this.
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Like at one point in my life, I really started to understand this in my early, probably my late twenties, early thirties.
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I stopped saying I want X, Y, Z.
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And I just started saying, I will have X, Y, Z.
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And it's not just the saying of just saying it, but like actually feeling it and being like, no, I'm positive.
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That thing that I want, I will get.
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But instead of saying I want that thing is I will have that thing.
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And I feel deep down inside of me, I will have this thing.
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And really like truly believing it, not like delusional or anything like that, but just a deep knowing within myself that it will happen.
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And so what you want to do, if you're noticing what I'm talking about, is normalizing what it is that you want in the future.
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For me, I was very, very lucky as a kid.
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And I say this all the time.
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My family, we didn't have any money.
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My dad was out of the picture, you know, when I was nine, 10 years old.
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My mom had to work multiple jobs to basically feed my sister and me.
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And I wasn't in, I wasn't raised in this energy of success.
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But I was very, very lucky because my aunt and uncle had a good amount of money.
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My uncle Dan had a successful glass business.
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He had 200 employees in his business.
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And I was really lucky because my aunt and uncle, their daughter had a son early on.
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His name was Mike.
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And Mike is six days younger than I am.
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So anytime that the family went on a vacation because Mike needed someone to play with, I was almost always brought in this vacation.
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And so what happened was I was living in a house and we were just getting by.
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But then I would go on these vacations that were like, awesome.
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We'd go to the Bahamas on my uncle's 65 -foot Hatteras, his giant boat, right?
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And we would go to Costa Rica and stay at these really nice resorts and stuff.
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And I didn't realize it then, but what was happening is something was changing in my nervous system.
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Like, I got a taste of what was possible.
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I was super lucky in the fact that I had a taste of what was possible.
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And, you know, I didn't like suddenly just become wealthy,
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but there was like the seed that was planted and I remember being a kid in like leaving
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Costa Rica and looking at the first time I'd ever been out of the country.
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I saw what was possible
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and I remember I told myself I'm going to make a life where this is going to be possible for me.
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Like I'm going to do this.
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I don't care.
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This is happening and that kind of life wasn't unreal anymore.
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It was just it wasn't mine yet and I was going to get it.
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On the flip side of that I have a good friend named Garen and Garen talks about growing up in poverty.
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He was born and raised in poverty.
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And he said that becoming successful when you're raised in poverty is like speaking a different language.
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And it's like, you have to learn the language.
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If you're raised around successful people, you're already speaking the language.
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But if you're raised and you don't have successful people around you, it's like a foreign language to you.
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Now, think about this.
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How do you learn a language best?
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You have to immerse yourself in that language in a new country.
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And so what you wanna do is immerse yourself in the life that you, we're gonna say the word want,
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but really the life that you're going to get in the future.
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Like you don't need to be a millionaire to start feeling like one.
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You just need to create exposure to it.
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And so like if you want a certain car, beautiful thing about nowadays is you can test drive that car.
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Go test drive that car as soon as you possibly can.
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It'll give you the feelings of, okay, now it's not out of reach because I've actually been inside of the car.
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Another thing you could do, like if you want a Porsche, you could go and Porsche and test drive the car if you want to.
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Or you could also go on like, there's an app called Turo, which is basically like Airbnb for cars,
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and you could rent the car for a weekend.
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And then you can start to normalize the feeling of actually having the car, seeing that car parked in the driveway,
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getting in the car, listening to the car when it starts up, what it feels like to hold onto the steering wheel.
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You're starting to normalize the feeling of having that life.
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You know, if you have a certain neighborhood that you want to live in, and that's the place where,
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you know, in the city that you live in, you're like, I want to live in this neighborhood.
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Look on Airbnb, see if you can save up enough money, and just book an Airbnb for a weekend in your dream neighborhood.
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Perfect. Do it.
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Do it as often as you possibly can.
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See what it feels like to wake up in that energy, to have your coffee with that view.
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Normalize the life that you want.
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You know, if you want to be a successful CEO one day, work from a hotel lobby that is the nicest hotel in your entire area.
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and start seeing people that walk in that have that success.
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If you want a future self that's coming to you in the future, then journal it and visualize it every single day.
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Surround yourself with people who have what you want.
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That's one of the biggest things
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that I've seen is finding some sort of way to find mentors
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or people that I can barter with or people
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that I can pay to learn from or people that we have some exchange value.
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And you start surrounding yourself with people who have the lives
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that you want then those lives don't feel so foreign to you.
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They don't feel out of reach.
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And what you're doing, once again, is you're normalizing the life that you want.
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You're normalizing it so it doesn't feel like, oh, I hope it happens.
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Maybe if I get lucky, it'll happen.
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It's like, no, I've been in this energy.
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I love this energy.
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I'm going to have this energy.
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Why?
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Because when you're around it, it stops feeling impossible.
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It starts feeling familiar.
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And that's when your nervous system gives you permission to actually move forward in it because it doesn't feel foreign.
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It doesn't feel dangerous.
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And so really, this is the reframe that changes everything.
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When you look at it this way, I hope that it helps you understand.
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If it feels out of reach, it will be.
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If it feels normal, it's inevitable.
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So your job right now is to stop chasing fantasy
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and really start putting yourself into situations where the life that you want starts to feel more familiar.
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The test drive the car and get the Airbnb
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and stay in the hotel or just work in the hotel for a couple days a week.
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Because the life that you want isn't just like about vision boards and goals and all of that.
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It's about becoming the type of person who says, this will be my life one day.
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And not hoping that it'll happen, but knowing that it will happen.
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Because the future that you want doesn't have to feel far away.
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It just has to feel normal to you.
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So all in all, the thing that you have to understand is you want to normalize the life that you want.
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How can you normalize the life that you want?
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Because once your nervous system stops resisting it, and it feels normal to you, your entire life starts to rise to match it.
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So go figure out how to get into the situations, to live the life that you want, to be in the energy of it,
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to breathe it, to touch it, to taste it, whatever it might be.
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Walk around in it like it's yours.
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That is how you normalize the life that you want.
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Hey, thanks so much for watching this video.
257
If you love this podcast, click this one right here.
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Based off of everything you've been watching recently, YouTube has searched all of my videos and your algorithm,
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put them together, and this is its suggestion for what it thinks you would want to watch right now.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione si basa sul video “Relax and Manifest Everything You Desire”. Le parole che ritornano più spesso: nervous, familiar, normal. Questo video contiene 260 frasi e 3280 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 17:48. Chi parla va veloce, circa 184 parole al minuto: aspettati suoni legati e ridotti. Il 88% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese, quindi il lessico è facile da seguire.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| wealthy aggettivo | /ˈwɛl.θi/ | benestante, abbiente |
| manifest sostantivo | /ˈmæn.ɪ.fɛst/ | manifesto |
| household aggettivo | /ˈhaʊshoʊld/ | domestico, casalinghi |
| poverty sostantivo | /ˈpɑːvɚti/ | povertà |
| uncle sostantivo | /ˈʌŋ.kl̩/ | zio |
| vacation sostantivo | /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/ | vacanza |
| shock sostantivo | /ʃɔk/ | trauma, trauma emotivo |
| chase verbo | /t͡ʃeɪs/ | inseguire, cacciare |
| phrase sostantivo | /ˈfɹeɪ̯z/ | espressione, polirematica |
| flip verbo | /flɪp/ | capovolgere, spadellare |
| aunt sostantivo | /ɑːnt/ | zia |
| trauma sostantivo | /ˈtɹɔm.ə/ | trauma |
| surround verbo | /səˈɹaʊnd/ | circondare |
| unsafe aggettivo | /ʌnˈseɪf/ | insicura |
| align verbo | /əˈlaɪn/ | allineare |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Significato |
|---|---|
| blow away verbo | spazzare via |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto |
| find out verbo | scoprire |
| grow up verbo | crescere |
| save up verbo | raggruzzolare |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Your nervous system doesn't move towards what is exciting.
- I'll give you a great example.
- When you want something, what does that mean inherently?
- How do you learn a language best?
- How can you normalize the life that you want?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Frasi condizionali if + frase, will/would + verbo — una condizione e il suo risultato | If you don't think that you'll have · if I get lucky, it'll happen |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | you've dated · you've been · you've ever wanted |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | anybody who knows · people who are · friends who had |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | are wired · are afforded · wasn't raised |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 104 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, doesn't, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: wealthy /ˈwɛl.θi/, thirty /ˈθɝti/, breathe /bɹiːð/, algorithm /ˈælɡəɹɪðm̩/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: vacation /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/, shock /ʃɔk/, sabotage /ˈsæb.əˌtɑʒ/, exposure /ɪkˈspəʊ.ʒə(ɹ)/, suggestion /səˈd͡ʒɛst.ʃən/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: miserable /ˈmɪz(ə)ɹəbəl/, unfamiliar /ˌʌnfəˈmɪli.ə(ɹ)/, inevitable /ɪˈnɛvɪtəbəl/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, uncertainty /ʌnˈsɜːtənti/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: household /ˈhaʊshoʊld/, happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, inherently /ɪnˈhɛɹəntli/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: manifest /ˈmæn.ɪ.fɛst/, household /ˈhaʊshoʊld/, shock /ʃɔk/, chase /t͡ʃeɪs/, phrase /ˈfɹeɪ̯z/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: manifest /ˈmæn.ɪ.fɛst/, sabotage /ˈsæb.əˌtɑʒ/, guarantee /ˌɡæɹ.ənˈtiː/, happiness /ˈhæpinɪs/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come wealthy, manifest, household.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.