쉐도잉 연습: Empathic Responses and the Use of Silence - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

This video is a short, simulated  counseling session demonstrating the basic communication skills of empathic  responses, and the use of silence.

So Joe, we've been talking about school and the  conviction, and I'm wondering if we can talk a bit about what's been going on at home? Yeah, sure.  How have things been going with your mom? I mean, not great. Uhm, she's been really, really, pissed  with me ever since sound the conviction , so, yeah, I don't know . It's been a while and nothing  has changed so I don't know. Yeah, she was pretty upset about the stealing when it happened and  you're worried that it's going to impact your your future relationship? Yeah, I mean I've never,  ever seen her yelled the way she did. It was, it was shocking. She hates my friends, but  ,you know, other than her, that's all I have, so what am I supposed to do? How does it feel  when your mom gets angry like that? I mean, I don't like it, but, I don't really think it's  justified. I think she has to be around more for her to really get a say in my life. So, you're  feeling annoyed that she's getting so mad when she isn't even around to see. Yeah, I mean, she's  she's got this new relationship with Tom. So on, like, weekends, she's in White Rock at his  place, two, three nights a week she's you know she's out. So it is what it is, you know.  I come home, empty house, so how could she mad at me for what I get up to there's no one  at home. It sounds like you feel somewhat neglected by your mom. I mean yeah, I guess. You  know, we used to....we were never the closest, but I thought we had a pretty good relationship.  Uhm, you know we'd talk, we'd have meals together.

It wouldn't be.... Yeah, I'd come home, we'd talk.  I guess, now that just doesn't happen. I'm often home alone, don't see anybody. She's, you know,  all she cares about is him. It feels more alone now and you're worried that you're not a priority  for your mom anymore. Yeah, I uhm, I guess so.

I'm not I'm not a perfect person, but parents are  supposed to stick by their kids, good and bad, so, yeah. Must feel pretty vulnerable to  not know how she's feeling. Yeah, I mean, I just, uhm, I wish she cared about what's  going on in my life. Are you scared that you no longer mattered to her as much  as you used to? Yeah, I mean, she's, she has every right to you know, be happy in  a relationship. But it just feels like she's, she's not prioritizing me at all and it  hurts. Uhm, it hurts. She's all I have.

You care about your mom, and you want her to  be happy, and you want her to have a life, but at the same time you hope that you could  be a part of that life. Yeah, and I mean, like my dad's not in the picture. So she really is  all I have. She's the only family I have. Right, so you're feeling protective over that real  significant relationship. Yeah, she's my mom.

I know I'm supposed to, you know, I'm supposed to  as I grow up, be independent but it doesn't mean you don't need your mom anymore, it doesn't mean  you don't need someone still there for you. Yeah.

How about your relationship with your dad? I mean,  what relationship? I have so little to do in his life that it's like I don't even matter to him.  So you feel pretty disconnected from him? Yeah, I mean, uhm, seems more like a person I see  occasionally instead of a father. He's got his new family now so , it is what it is. Do you  feel resentful towards your dad for having this new family? No, I mean he was young when they  when they divorced, I was only four. So you know I can't blame him for for finding a new  relationship, and having new family. But just because you have new kids doesn't mean you just  give up on the one you already have. I just no I don't think that he should have just written me  off. I can hear some sadness about about your dad not being able to prioritize all of his children.  Yeah, it does make me sad sometimes ,you know. I basically don't have a father,  and if it hasn't happened by now, it basically never will, so you know I just have  to accept that. It's just the way it's gonna be.

So, part of you has resigned to that acceptance of  a superficial relationship between the two of you.