Shadowing Practice: Gabor Maté – Authenticity vs. Attachment - Learn English Speaking with Video

When a child is born, a child has two needs.

The first need is for attachment.

And attachment is contact, connection, love.

Without that, the human child does not survive.

Any mammalian child or even an avian child doesn't survive.

So that as soon as you get past the level of reptiles, the reptile is hatched, the mother is long gone by then,

and the reptile infant either lives or dies dies but there's no attachment to a parenting figure.

As soon as you get to the level of birds now, the baby bird has to have an attachment with the parents, the parents have to be attached to the baby.

Otherwise the infant simply does not survive.

Mammalians even more so and most so the human because we're the least developed, the least mature, with the least developed brains

and the most dependent for the longest period of time of any creature in the universe.

So our attachment needs are enormous, and they remain important throughout lifetime because we have to have attachments to foreign societies, social groups without which we don't survive.

So attachment is a huge need.

We have to connect, belong, be loved by and love.

That's just a basic human need.

But we have another need as well, which is for authenticity.

Authenticity is the capacity, as I said earlier, to know what we feel, to be in touch with our bodies,

and to be able to express who we are and manifest who we are in our activities and in our relationships.

Now why is that?

Well, think of a human being in evolutionary period who's not in touch with their body and their gut feelings.

How long do they survive out there in the wild?

So authenticity is another huge survival need.

Great.

So far so good.

but what happens to a child where the attachment need is not compatible with the need for authenticity?

In other words, if I'm authentic, my parents will reject me.

If I feel what I feel and express what I feel and insist on my own truth,

my parents can't handle it and parents convey those messages unconsciously all the time not

because they mean to not because they don't leave love the child not

because they're not trying to do their best but

because they themselves are suppressed or traumatized or hurt or stressed

so I convey that message many times to my children believe me without without any conscious desire to do so.

In fact, it was the very opposite of what I wished to convey.

But that they're not acceptable the way they are, with their emotions the way they are, that's the message my kids got when they were small.

And most children get that in our society.

Now what does a child do with that?

Well, if I give up my attachment for the sake of authenticity, I lose my relationships on which my life depends.

Therefore, there's no question.

What becomes suppressed is our authenticity, our emotions.

And then we become 25 and 30 or 35, 40, and we don't know who we are.

And somebody asks us, what do you feel?

You say, I have no idea.

And how many times we've all had the experience of having an inkling of a strong gut feeling, but we're ignoring it, we're ignoring it and we get into trouble.

Well, that tells us what happened.

What happened was

that at some point we found out it was too costly

for our attachment relationships to be in touch with our gut feelings.

So then it becomes not our first nature, but our second nature to suppress our feelings, to lose touch with ourselves and to suppress our gut feelings.

And then we pay the cost later on in the form of addictions, mental illness, or any range of physical illnesses.

But it all began with this tragic conflict that children should never be confronted with, but are all the time,

between authenticity on the one hand and attachment on the other.

And even as adults, so many people are suffering because They want to be themselves, but they're afraid to be because they know or at least they fear

that if they're themselves they're going to lose important attachment relationships in their life.

✨ Aanbevolen Video

56 zinnen

Why Strong People Learn to Be Alone 💪🧠| English Listening Practice| Learn English Through Psychology

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

25 zinnen

Should I Choose Passion or Duty?

Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students

Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Deze spreekles op niveau C1 is gebaseerd op de video “Gabor Maté – Authenticity vs. Attachment”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: attachment, authenticity, survive, feeling, parents. Deze video bevat 53 zinnen en 716 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 4:12. De spreker praat in een natuurlijk tempo van ongeveer 170 woorden per minuut, dicht bij een alledaags gesprek. 86% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden; de rest kun je beter vooraf bekijken.

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:

Woord	Uitspraak	Betekenis
attachment zelfstandig naamwoord	/əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/	gehechtheid
authenticity zelfstandig naamwoord	/ɑθɛnˈtɪsɪti/	authenticiteit, echtheid
reptile zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈɹɛp.taɪl/	reptiel
convey werkwoord	/kənˈveɪ/	overdragen
infant zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈɪn.fənt/	zuigeling
inkling zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈɪŋklɪŋ/	vermoeden, aanwijzing
traumatize werkwoord	/ˈtɹɔ.mə.taɪz/	traumatiseren
manifest zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈmæn.ɪ.fɛst/	manifest, vrachtbrief
attach werkwoord	/əˈtæt͡ʃ/	vastmaken
confront werkwoord	/kənˈfɹʌnt/	confronteren
hatch werkwoord	/hæt͡ʃ/	uit het ei komen
evolutionary bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˌiː.vəˈluː.ʃən.ɛɹ.i/	evolutionair
costly bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˈkɒst.li/	prijzig, duur
compatible bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/kəmˈpæt.ə.bəl/	verenigbaar
insist werkwoord	/ɪnˈsɪst/	blijven bij, volhouden

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Woord	Betekenis
find out werkwoord	ontdekken, onderzoeken
give up werkwoord	zich overgeven

Uitspraak om op te letten

De spreker gebruikt 15 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals they're, don't, we're. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.

De “th”-klanken: authenticity /ɑθɛnˈtɪsɪti/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/
De klanken “sh” en “zh”: unconsciously /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəsli/, evolutionary /ˌiː.vəˈluː.ʃən.ɛɹ.i/
Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: authenticity /ɑθɛnˈtɪsɪti/, unconsciously /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəsli/, evolutionary /ˌiː.vəˈluː.ʃən.ɛɹ.i/, compatible /kəmˈpæt.ə.bəl/

Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:

/æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: attachment /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, manifest /ˈmæn.ɪ.fɛst/, attach /əˈtæt͡ʃ/, hatch /hæt͡ʃ/, compatible /kəmˈpæt.ə.bəl/

Zo oefen je met deze video

Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als attachment, authenticity, reptile.

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?

Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.

Shadowing-techniek: lees de volledige stap-voor-stap-gids →

Shadowing Practice: Gabor Maté – Authenticity vs. Attachment - Learn English Speaking with Video

love without attachment

How to Stay Present and Mindful in Everyday Moments

The Mother Tongue Guilt: Why You Feel Like You're Losing Your Native Self

Life of an Adult Child of a Narcissist Explained in 8 Minutes

7k

Brené Brown on Empathy vs Sympathy

Mindful Parenting with Popexpert's Shauna Shapiro and Chris White

Ask Matt Anything: Authenticity, Anxiety, and Answering Well

The Attachment Theory: How Childhood Affects Life

You're Too Self-Aware to Be Happy | The Psychology of Deep Thinkers