Shadowing Practice: This video will change your life | @Thewizardliz - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Hello and welcome back to Dream Girl.

If you're new here, I'm Sheen, I'm your host, and today we have a very special guest.

I'm sure you've seen her unless you live under a rock.

Please join me in welcoming Liz.

Hello, Liz.

Hi.

How are you?

I'm good.

How are you?

Good.

You know, every time I want to say wizard Liz, because that's just how I know you.

I feel like people, they also say like lizard liz lizard the wizard that's very cool is

that where the name came from how did you come up with

that no the wizard liz was actually like i used to work in a restaurant as a student

and i remember like i was put behind the bar

because my boss was like let's put the pretty girl behind

it at first i was really not good at my job

but um so i was like i was working there

and then we had a client that came

and he he asked like for a drink

and i said oh you should try this one

and he said like well i would get anything

that you sell me because you're so magical like your ri is magical

and then i told him like well then i must be a wizard you know

and i was like joking about that and it never left my mind

so i was like you know

when i was doing social media the wizard liz okay well

i'm glad we found out the story behind the name but okay listen And for me, I've been following you since you started.

I remember the first time I watched your video and it went viral.

And as I was telling you beforehand, because I have so many friends who are in the YouTube world.

And I remember them saying, you know, we spend so much time making sure the audio quality is great.

The visuals are great.

The thumbnail is great.

And this girl came in and blew everyone out with the algorithm.

And everybody just loved you.

And I think it's also because of how raw it is.

It almost feels like you're telling me off when I'm watching the video.

I think everyone needs therapy.

I think they need therapy after my videos.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're helping.

But I put up on my story asking people what would they want to hear from you, right?

And today we're going to cover a few things from, you know, the relationship with yourself, your relationship with your friends, with men or women in a romantic way.

But to start with, tell me what was for you a pivotal moment in your life

that pushed you to start this whole career? So a pivotal moment.

So basically my childhood was very bad.

Okay.

Like I think everyone already knows this, that I was physically abused by my father.

And I saw my mother get abused.

So it was like a very, very traumatic childhood.

And it's funny, like when my father decided to cheat on my mother, that was like the happiest day of me and my siblings.

We were like that monster is leaving our house.

We were so happy.

But it's ironic that when your abuser leaves the house and you finally have that freedom that you always craved, that you start abusing yourself.

Because that's when I developed bulimia, anorexia.

And these are all like forms of self-abuse, you know.

And when I looked at my siblings and at myself, I saw how we all handled everything differently.

Because the issue is not the abuse, it's the aftermath right it's how we feel afterwards

because now we have to realize that we allowed ourselves to get treated like

that and that this went on for so many years

and it's very uh hurtful to realize that

and then you go from all of that

which you've ever known the abuse to okay what do we do now

so who are we now actually

because we don't know who we are without it you know we weren't allowed to explore ourselves

so i feel like my life started

when my father cheated on my mother it finally started

and then that was the first moment in my life

that i could look at myself

and be like okay list what do we do now

and for me my biggest thing in life was always let me just make money let me get rich

because i can like at least i cannot heal my family

but i would be able to like afford a band-aid to put on top of like the wounds

that my father created and i kind of felt responsible for the hurt

that my family had been through i don't know why

but i felt responsible

so my whole life i was like okay how do i make money how do i make money

and the more like i was struggling also with my ed

and bulimia and when you're struggling with all these things all your energy is going towards

that and that's why i tell people

that are for example trying to lose weight let's say yeah

i had this conversation today actually with like a woman in

a store it was like she's like uh i love your

body like are you on a diet like what's happening

and i was like you know the moment

that i stopped wanting to lose weight is when i lost it

and i couldn't i like now whatever i eat i cannot gain it anymore

which is actually an opposite issue that's great yeah

but she i told her like

because i was in the same mindset of like putting all my energy i couldn't even create anything right

so i couldn't create business or anything

because all my energy was going towards food i wake up

i think about food i go to bed i think about food

because you know why i even feel like i got to eating disorder

because when you have a whole childhood where you never felt in control

that eating disorder of made me feel in control of something i can control what i eat

or what i don't eat and somehow i felt proud of myself right

but it was never about like the way i looked

because it was never skinny enough honestly i think it's a

form of like slowly taking your own life i call it you know

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so when i when i removed the energy from the eating disorders

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and i was like you know what

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because this went on for two years like severe depression after my father left then i was like okay, let's change things.

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How can I actually change?

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Because I was so tired of blaming everyone or my circumstances.

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And I was like, Liz, you need to start looking at yourself.

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Because the reason why my life was like that was because of me and no one else.

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I was abusing myself.

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And it's like, I don't have anyone to blame.

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Look, the thing is like, yeah, I had an abusive childhood, but what do I do next?

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Do I continue being a victim or do I take my power back?

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Because the more energy I put into hating my father means the more powerful he becomes

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and I want that power I want to create you know what I mean

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so I was like it's time for me to pull all the energy back to myself

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and the only way you do

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that is by taking responsibility for your life blame gives your power away

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and responsibility gives it to yourself oh my goodness that was

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so powerful again I felt I was just watching your YouTube video.

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I forgot I had to ask you questions.

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I was like, what?

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I get so passionate when I talk.

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You do, but I love it.

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Okay.

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Okay, one thing I want to tell you is your energy is infectious, right?

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And I think you know that, but I get to experience it in person.

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And it's beautiful, as you said, that, you know, despite all the terrible things that happened to you, which you didn't have a hand to play in,

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but you've turned that into something beautiful.

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And now you're helping everyone else around you.

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And that's incredible and you've built such a beautiful life for yourself.

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So you should be very proud of yourself.

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Thank you.

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That's what I'm trying to say.

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I really appreciate that.

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But also now, what would you say is any misconception that people still hold about you given what they see online?

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I think they see a woman and they think like, oh, she's a narcissist.

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That's what I hear often.

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Or she's very toxic.

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Her mindset is very toxic.

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And it's like, I think people, they don't understand what narcissism actually is and an actual narcissist wouldn't act like a narcissist.

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They act like the nicest person.

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That's why women stay in relationships with narcissists for so long.

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Right.

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Because they don't understand what's going on.

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A narcissist is not someone that comes on here and says, I am amazing.

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I love myself.

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No. That's just all like, that's too outward.

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Narcissists are more closeted and very manipulative in the way they act, you know.

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and I feel like once people see me, for example, and I post, let's say a TikTok yesterday, I post, I always get what I want.

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The reason why I post this is

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because I want people to look at the TikTok and read it in their head for themselves.

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But I know what it looks like to others.

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But at the same time, I think it's a good thing that people even blame me or be like, she's a narcissist.

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She's too full of herself i think it was a good impact

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because i think there's people watching me and thinking you know what she's

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so full of herself and the way she talks

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if she can talk like

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that about herself maybe i can love myself a little they they become

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so comfortable because i make them uncomfortable in the way

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that i speak you know what i mean yeah

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because they see this as the extreme it's like extreme yeah

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but somehow it make it can make them confident

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because like she can be that extreme maybe I can be like a little bit of

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that like 10% of what she's saying you know what I mean no

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but I love what you said about narcissistic people right

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and I think that's again something

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that a lot of people always ask me about I have also experienced it

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but it's crazy how however smart you are however emotionally intelligent

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you are as a woman especially how you get stuck in

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that situation and what advice do you have for people to even

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start to recognize that this is a toxic situation and this person might be narcissistic?

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So I've dealt with narcissists in my life, a fair share.

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First thing is a woman especially or whoever needs to listen to their intuition.

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I feel like women have such strong intuition.

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It's almost like our body and our soul knows that something is wrong before it actually happens.

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For example, me, I see dreams about a person that I'm not meant to be with.

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I see dreams about like leave or I see visions like leave and I don't listen because I think like I'm crazy.

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I'm crazy.

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But then until something happens where I'm like, oh, I knew that.

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But I literally knew that years ago I could have prevented this, but I didn't listen to myself.

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Right.

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So intuition is very, very important.

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You're not supposed to feel drained around a person.

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You're not even a friend.

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You're not supposed to sit with a friend and then come home and be like, oh, my God like I feel so bad

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because a negative energy exchange has just happened right second thing is look at their actions

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and not at their words and I keep telling people this

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so I actually had this thing with like a place

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that I always go to for lunch okay and there's like two waitresses

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that work there and I absolutely love them okay

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so they were telling me that the place is closing down

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and new owner is now taking over

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and their previous owner hasn't like uh given them a new contract nothing

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so they are losing out on two months of uh money like yeah salary

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so then what i did was i gave them

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that two months of salary wow and then they were like um

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and then they told me like i was asking them

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because i want to help them with their job

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and then they were telling me like no

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but you know he's not a bad guy liz like our

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boss is not a bad guy like he he's really like he says it in such a way

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and i said uh-uh what did he do he doesn't care

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about you guys i care about them yeah i care about them

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and they're not they're not working for me

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so it's like he should care about you guys you take care of the people

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that you work for or that are in your life this is not normal

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so i'm like don't listen to what he's saying look at what he's doing and so many women

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because we get so sensitive and we love to hear things.

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No, look at the way he's treating you if he's abusive

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but tomorrow he tells you he loves you he's abusive he doesn't love you someone

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that loves you wouldn't abuse you you know

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and i i think like once you start to just look at people for who they are you know

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when people become mesmerizing when you put your energy into them

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so right now if i look at you i find you amazing okay i find you mesmerizing

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but it's because we are exchanging our energy right now

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but what if like for example i had this actually with a previous relationship of mine tell me

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so i would think like look i've never been the person to go for looks

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so i don't i don't care okay the way you look

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i never really cared yeah i care more about intelligence

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and the way you are okay

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but the more the relationship developed i almost had like rose colored glasses on

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and i found that whoa this person can manifest

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so well whoa this person has become so successful all these things

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and i was like oh this this person is amazing

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and even i thought like oh

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because of him i must be amazing i started giving him

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all the credit right the minute i broke up with him

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and i was like you know i'm done

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and i called all my energy back to me

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and i was like this is gonna end i saw him again

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and i was shocked i was like there is no way

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i was with this person no i literally saw him for the way he actually looked

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and it's like my friends had been telling me liz there's no way

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because he was not a good person either you know that's the main problem

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but i was like i'm my energy made him

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so magical to me and the same way like all the things

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that i thought like he's so successful he's

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so good at manifesting it stopped when i removed my energy

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so a lot of people are dating people

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and they put them on a pedestal but it's all

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because of your energy they're like a lot of women for example men become more good looking more successful

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because they're with that woman

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and then the woman starts to think like oh he's too

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good for me oh he's the uh-uh honey that's your energy

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realize it you know no you know I actually had the

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exact same conversation with a friend of mine where I was telling her

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that I'm missing this guy who used to be in my life

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and she was like but think about it

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when you say he was funny it was you who was actually funny all the things

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that you think you miss about him was just you being part of his life

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that made him funny like that or make him interesting, make him, as you said, dress better or have more intellectual interest.

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And you're like, that's so true.

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Like it is because of us together.

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But without me, he doesn't have all the things that I think he does.

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Yeah.

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So it's crazy that a lot of us, you know, this is what I love about women talking to each other as well, right?

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Because I feel like we're all so different and so unique.

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By the same time, we have such similar life experiences we do

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which is crazy i can't like the way you were describing this whole scenario especially

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that moment of clarity when you immediately switch it once

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that clarity hits there's no going back the ick will remain

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you're like there's no way like seeing your ex-partner the way your friends saw him i never want to see

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that again the disappointment you feel i was like there's no

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way you're like wait who was there who liked this guy

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i was like there must have been magic on me there's no way it wasn't me it wasn't

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that was that was not me it wasn't me i was under a spell it's okay

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but okay now going back to a little bit around the same topic

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so another question we got a lot of is now

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that we're on the topic of men

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and dating is you know nowadays i don't know

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if it's the way society is evolving or the changes in gender roles

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and traditional roles

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but now you see a lot of women are very successful right women are becoming more

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and more independent and very financially independent and therefore successful

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and you get these women these what you would term like high value

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which i don't really like high value women are the ones struggling to find a partner why do you think

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that is i think because um a lot of men are insecure

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and a lot of men take their value from being successful.

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So when you take that away and you have a woman that is more successful for than you, that becomes a competition for them, you know?

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And I think that's actually sad because I think people don't teach men to like, for example, be more in touch with their emotions,

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develop other skills than just making money because then they can also get their value from those things.

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But right now, because they put men on such a pedestal for so long, and they just poured into young men and whatever,

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and women were just the housemakers, right?

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Because they made that such a big thing.

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Now you're sitting with all these men.

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Yeah, they just know, okay, I'll get my value if I'm successful.

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If I'm successful, I'm a good man.

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No, like, look at your morals.

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Who are you as a person?

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Get to know yourself better.

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And that's you built

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that confidence a confident man will not get intimidated by successful woman never ever ever

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but there's just not enough confident men no and even you know

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when you look at masculinity

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so that's one question we got for you actually from my audience

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which was you know there's kind of like a rise in

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like soft masculinity you know where i don't know you must

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have seen all of these funny reels where you know it's

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like men want the princess treatment now they they don't want

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to be the first one to text they don't want to

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be the one to pay the whole 50 50 situation

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that is coming up but do you think

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that is also causing an issue with men just like understanding their role

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and their position in society now i think men have always

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gotten the princess treatment always i think there has never been

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another time the amount of standards men have for women is insane okay

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but the minute you have a woman

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that says like hey provide you know like take care of

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me it's like no you're a goldiger how dare you say

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that but how many men would date an unattractive woman exactly they wouldn't they just simply wouldn't okay

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because they have that standard if you're unattractive i don't want to date you

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but once a woman has a standard and it's like

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if you're a broke guy and with broke guys i don't mean men

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that are poor no i mean men that don't know how to create abundance and

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that the that's a big big issue see for example for

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me a broke man how i uh classified is like my

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dad my dad refused to work he doesn't want to work

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he doesn't want to figure out how to work he made my mom work her whole life

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and she was taking care of him okay

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he didn't respect himself

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and he didn't respect my mother it was just not in balance at all

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and my mom had to be hyper masculine to make up for the lack of masculine energy in the house right

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now when you have that a person

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that doesn't know how to be abundant that's a broke guy

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okay it doesn't matter how much money he makes as long as he's trying that's an abundant man

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because a lot of people they especially women they think like

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oh i just need a rich man i've dated a very

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wealthy guy probably the wealthiest guy i've ever dated he was not generous at all brokey yeah

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so that's a broke man

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because what do i have with you you're showing me every day how much money you're making

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but what do i have with it what do i care how much money you make you know

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so it's like um

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that's like just the difference like

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when a man doesn't know how to be abundant that's the big issue

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so men wanting the princess even i think they always had that right

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so it's like they always had a standard for women they always had like you have to behave like this

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and blah blah and even like before

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when women were supposed to be house makers there were

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so many standards you're supposed to cook you're supposed to clean you're supposed to take care of the kids

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and look good on top of that and

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if you don't i'm gonna cheat on you and

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if you do i'm gonna cheat on you

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so it's like women had to accept that

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but then you had women for example that have a platform like me

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that came on and we're like stop accepting it

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and it's like let's have standards you know let's have standards as a collective

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and because of that yeah you have what you have right now

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which is very successful woman because they started believing in themselves instead of a man

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and chasing what they want

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and being who they want to be instead of chasing a man

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and like taking their value from being with a man

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because that's also a huge issue

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that women are facing you know they think like oh my god

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if i'm not married by this age or

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if i don't have children then i failed as a woman

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but who said that society your parents your culture who said

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that who set that standard for women who said that

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if a woman has her period she's dirty she

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that like that's dirty who said all these things

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if men could get their period and could get pregnant we would not be able to meet their standards

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they would have standards through the roof the like anything

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that even is like um like tampons all these things it will be free it will be free yeah free

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and they would have made like uh medic medicine

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or something to solve like cramps to help them massage stools at work

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yeah days off paid yes no for sure women would not be able to meet their standards no no

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and And that's the thing.

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I'm so glad you touched on this

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because this this has come up many times in conversations with my guests on the podcast.

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And even with my friends, I keep seeing this because now that women are getting in their mid 30s and late 30s, they're starting to worry.

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And all of these friends that I have or even guests that I've met, one of them even said on the podcast that, you know, I feel like I have the villa that I always wanted.

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I have my cars.

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I have my six figure business and I sit in my house alone.

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and now I'm thinking did I go wrong should I have

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focused on finding a husband should I have focused on having kids younger

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because that's when you are at your peak on the sexual market value

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if you want to call it that

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and now she's like now what do I do

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and now I see this kind of like I don't know how to explain it other than passive depression

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that is rampant around where you see all these successful women

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who at the end of the day come home to a to like a quiet apartment

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and they're sad

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and they feel like they went wrong somewhere what would you say to these people i think

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that the grass is always greener on the other side i know

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that there's a lot of married women

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that wish they could come home to an empty house i swear like they have glamorized having children

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and married so much

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and people don't see the behind the scenes they always like show you the pretty picture

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but all the work

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that is behind the scenes all the arguments all the compromises all the things

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that cheating that happens

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and then you have to think oh my god do i want to stay married

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because i don't want to lose face in under you know in front of other people

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so i just stay married with a cheating husband

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and i just look nice in front of everyone

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and then someone looks at them and think oh i wish i had

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that no you don't you don't know what's going on in

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someone's house behind closed doors you know my parents like everyone that knew them they thought like oh

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father's a great guy such an amazing man such a religious man they would say you know behind closed doors

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that was literally the devil himself you know you never know what is going on

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so i would say never glamorize something

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if i think right now about right now about having children

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and a husband that's a huge responsibility huge i i rather

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right now in this position of my life have my business make my own money

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and be independent and whoever comes into my life they can add to it

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but i'm not thinking like let me right now start a family

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because i know that will take so much of my time and energy into the family, you know, if I want to raise it in a way that I would want,

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which is with full attention and everything.

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So it all depends on like, do you really want that?

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Or do you want to create a perfect picture for society?

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Because we have to really go back to the beliefs that we have, because why do we have that

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because it's also it's not only women it's the same with men right yeah

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if you don't get married as a man oh you're not

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a man you're not you have to you're not a father

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oh my god you're already late 30s you're not a father

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it's like why push things upon people some people don't want

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that that's okay some people do then yeah you find a way you date around you see does this match with me,

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but don't do it because you feel like you're losing time.

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Because I feel like everything in life comes at the right time, at divine timing, when it's meant for you.

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When something is not meant for you, it will not happen, no matter what you do.

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When something is meant for you, no one can take that from you ever.

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It will come.

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In the most miraculous ways, it will come.

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So just let it go.

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Women need to start letting stuff go.

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that tell me how Liz no

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that is the biggest thing look right before this was actually a month ago like one

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and one and a half months ago I was

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so obsessed with the outcome I became very masculine

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because I like I didn't have like anyone supporting me

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so I was like I felt like I was completely alone okay

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so I was like oh my god I need to have

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this I need to have this like I need to figure something out

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and I was going crazy so I was like focused so much on my career and I was just

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I was literally losing it.

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Okay.

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And then I went back home because mentally I was not doing well.

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So I went back home to my mom and I went home.

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And then the second day I arrived, I went to walk in nature.

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And I always tell people, go walk in nature because nature is healing, right?

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The trees, the plants, all these things, these are living beings.

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I even tell people like, put your back or your hands against a tree,

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it will remove any energy that's not serving you because that's how we work with each other.

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But people don't know these things or they don't want to try these things.

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So they don't get like really further in life.

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Anyway, so I went and I walked in nature

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and I started talking to God and I always used to do this thing a lot, like especially in the beginning of my career, like talking to God and having conversations like he's my best friend.

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Oh my God, I see the same thing, you know?

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We're going to talk about it.

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Yeah, keep going, sorry.

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So then I was like, I was walking in nature and I started talking to him and I said, God, like, I can't take this anymore.

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Like, not like this.

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I'm like, I want to do what I have to do on this earth and complete my mission, but not like this, not on my own.

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And I feel very bad.

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And I said, like, I don't want to live anymore.

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And that was really my mental state.

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Like, I don't want to be here anymore, but I'm not going to do it myself.

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So you do it.

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Okay.

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You handle it.

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You please take my life.

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So I was like, I said that and then all of a sudden while I was walking, I heard like, wanting nothing gives you everything.

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I heard that sentence in my head.

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And then I kept walking and I started repeating it out loud.

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I was like, wanting nothing gives you everything.

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And then I understood, wanting nothing gives you everything.

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I was too focused on, I need to have this.

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I need to have fun.

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I need to have work.

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I need to have this.

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I need to be bigger and bigger and I was too focused on them.

469

So what I realized was if I just let go of, I don't want anything anymore.

470

Like you handle it here, give it to God, you handle it.

471

You know, when I did that, everything I've ever wanted came and it came so fast.

472

Like these past one and a half months, my life has changed 360.

473

I've probably never been happier than I am right now.

474

Yeah, which is crazy.

475

But it was the minute I just let it go.

476

I was like, I don't care anymore.

477

And you know, this is, you can see it, for example, and you know why this is also the thing?

478

When you let something go, you take your power back.

479

You take your energy from that thing back.

480

Now, when you are too focused on things, for example, let's say you're obsessing over an ex, okay?

481

The minute you stop wanting that ex, all of a sudden he texts you.

482

All of a sudden he calls you.

483

He's now obsessed with you.

484

He comes back, yeah.

485

Why?

486

You took your energy back.

487

The minute you take back your energy from all these things and you are now whole by yourself, those things become attracted to you

488

and they want to be with you instead of you wanting to be with them because nothing likes desperation.

489

Desperation is a repulsive energy.

490

When you are desperate, you have a lack mindset.

491

You don't believe that this earth is abundant and this earth is very abundant.

492

God gave us everything.

493

This is another thing that people always tell me like, oh, how dare you?

494

You're asking for too much.

495

Oh, why do you want these things?

496

But there's billionaires on this earth like multiply multiple billionaires yeah

497

why can i not have even 10 of what they have

498

what does it matter money is is a is an abundant

499

source as well you know money gives you freedom that's the only reason why i ever wanted money for freedom

500

because i can go where i want i can do what

501

i want yeah i can help people in a way

502

that i want right so if

503

that is on earth why can i not have it

504

if god made this earth so abundant anything

505

that is on this earth i can have

506

and i will get whenever i think to myself okay i want

507

that but i just want it

508

and i don't focus on it like in a desperate way

509

but i know i have a goal in the back of my mind

510

but i'm not desperate for it right that's

511

when it comes oh wow okay i love

512

that also you know what you said about um what is meant for you cannot miss you

513

and what if it's not meant for you however hard you try you can't get it

514

i remember um i go by this thing

515

that i saw some some time ago

516

and it's really hard to remind myself of it

517

but i try you know when they tell you

518

that um god will never say no to you god only has three answers either it's yes not now

519

or i have something better so it's kind of like remembering

520

that whatever you're not getting in life is

521

because that's not the right thing

522

and again it's a very freeing thought right it's like there's

523

a bigger picture there's divine intervention there's no no need to

524

worry whatever is meant for you will find you um

525

but i like what you talked about in terms of letting go

526

and i think overthinking is a huge thing

527

that our generation does we carry it with us everywhere we keep trying to plan everything

528

and i think we didn't even learn from covid how overnight we were all in our houses nobody planned

529

that everyone's life turned upside down and i think we still try to overthink

530

and that overthinking kind of like takes away the joy of the present, takes away the joy of you being grateful.

531

And I think gratitude is also something we don't practice a lot of.

532

But now that we're on this topic, I want to ask you, I feel like all of this, the overthinking, the overanalyzing, holding onto things,

533

comes a lot of times from a place of lack of confidence, of self-love, because people don't really understand the difference between self-love and being selfish.

534

We always assume

535

that we should not take up space we should not talk about ourselves about our successes

536

so what like magical tip do you have for people in terms of how to build

537

that confidence muscle

538

so basically like I wanted to touch on the thing where

539

you said like uh they call self-love selfish yeah exactly

540

so in terms of that if you look at the way children have been raised it's always care for others,

541

do things for others, then you're a good person.

542

No one ever tells you to take care of yourself.

543

Look after yourself.

544

Oh, you can tell yourself you're beautiful.

545

Who tells you that?

546

No one tells that because then you're vain.

547

Then you're selfish, right?

548

Now, if you look at it in a broader picture, who does this benefit?

549

The people in power.

550

It benefits them that you don't believe in yourself, right?

551

Because if we have all these people that believe in themselves, how can you control them.

552

You cannot control people.

553

If I was, let's say, a person in power and I was like a bad person or I thought like, I just want to control people, I would make them fear everything.

554

I would tell them like, if you do anything, you'll go straight to hell.

555

I would tell that.

556

I would tell them like, care for others.

557

If you care about yourself, oh, you're a bad person.

558

I would tell these things.

559

These are very smart and manipulative things.

560

But you also have to realize it's manipulative.

561

You know, a lot of people also raise their children to not believe in themselves.

562

They don't even realize they do it, but they do it because they tell like, oh, if you did something for your sister, oh, then you're a good boy, good girl.

563

You did a good job.

564

If you did something for your classmate or friend, then you're a good person.

565

If you did something for yourself, no one no one applauds you for that.

566

No one says like, oh, wow.

567

So that's when the confidence you build it by applauding yourself for yourself, looking yourself in the mirror and say, wow, oh my God, you got

568

that new job oh you're amazing oh my god you're such a goddess talk to yourself that way

569

because it's so easy for everyone to talk about their friends like

570

that to talk about the people that we love

571

but then we neglect ourselves the most

572

which you are supposed to love yourself the most because

573

when you love yourself you are love

574

and you create love around you a person

575

that doesn't love themselves doesn't go out and is happy with everyone else that's just not it doesn't happen, you know?

576

So misery creates more misery.

577

So you have to take care first of like, okay, how do I feel?

578

How do I want to feel?

579

How can I do that?

580

And I think a big thing with confidence is as well, like create skills, become good at something.

581

Because a lot of people, they don't know how to do anything.

582

They don't want to learn anything.

583

And they're just blaming like, oh, I'm just insecure.

584

If you're just insecure, create something.

585

Then you can be confident about something and then

586

that translates to your inner confidence and the same way people say like oh yeah

587

but I'm just ugly look at ways to become more beautiful no

588

but you can change yourself no like and

589

but a lot of times they say like oh you should

590

also just accept yourself I don't feel like that's that's most the case

591

if I just accepted myself I would still be in my bedroom with my mom sitting there crying

592

if I just accept myself no I had to change things

593

and you have to be honest with yourself sometimes you are the devil

594

that you're trying to blame because everyone wants to say oh my life is bad

595

because of this i there must have been some magic in my life that someone did

596

no honey how are you acting how who are you allowing around you

597

because that is also a big thing for confidence

598

because it's like you have bad friends you have like a bad partner

599

that you're constantly allowing to abuse you to talk down on you you're abusing yourself

600

and you have to be honest with yourself once you set

601

that boundary of like you're not going to treat me like

602

that and you actually walk away watch how your confidence will skyrocket

603

because you made that decision to walk away

604

when someone tells you like no you shouldn't be saying anything

605

like for example i grew up with like my father saying

606

um a woman should never speak a woman should never have a voice i feel my most confident now

607

when i speak because i made that decision that my voice needs to be heard, right?

608

And that's the thing to be proud of.

609

So create things for yourself that you can be proud of.

610

Even helping someone out, like giving them something.

611

That's something to be proud of.

612

You did something good and then applaud yourself for it.

613

You studied, you had a great test or whatever result that you had.

614

Amazing.

615

Be proud of yourself.

616

Don't wait for other people to sit there and clap for you.

617

Clap for yourself first.

618

I love that. And

619

you know um i agree with you i think is the

620

worst advice we can give to people is just be who you are

621

because i think we can be a better version of who we are

622

and that's just the starting point

623

and who we are is as you said beautifully is a

624

result of what we grew up with what we absorbed growing up the society everything

625

and we need to shed these weights they're dead weight we need to shed them

626

so we can become truly who we are meant to be

627

and also i just want to touch on you talked about self-love and how if we don't love ourselves, we can't love people around us, which is so true because,

628

you know, even in the ads in the airplanes where they show you

629

that you need to put your mask first and then help people around.

630

Because what's the point if you just help everyone around and then that's it, you're gone.

631

That's not how it works.

632

And again, you've touched on that super, super nicely.

633

But another thing I want to ask you, you know, so this is a term I don't like as well, which is called imposter syndrome.

634

You know, a lot of people blame whatever they feel or the fact that they're not trying new things,

635

not stepping out of their comfort zone on feeling like an imposter and that they don't belong and they can't do it.

636

What do you think about that?

637

You know, I think in life you just have to do things and then it becomes.

638

So it's like this glass right here, someone imagined it and then they created it, right so if you imagine yourself as a version

639

that you want to be and you start acting like it that's

640

when it comes into the physical realm but it all starts here

641

so no matter who you are right now is who you are telling yourself

642

that you are yeah it's who your parents told you

643

that you are it's who society told you how you have to act

644

and how you have to be so who you are

645

or like just be who you are it doesn't make sense

646

because who are we at the end of the day i think we are just all souls on earth

647

and we don't know how to behave as humans we're just waiting to return back home

648

but we're here like okay what is this guys you know

649

but it's nice then i see life as a video game

650

i see life as like okay i can be whoever i want to be

651

because it doesn't matter at the end of the day i will never be who i fully am

652

because it will always be constructed by things around me

653

or people around me

654

because that's how we just are we're a soul not a human okay we're just here experiencing life on earth.

655

So once you accept that and you think like, what does feel most comfortable for me?

656

Who would I like to be?

657

Who would I be happy if I was this person?

658

Then you start acting like it.

659

You start acting like that person.

660

How would they act?

661

How would they dress?

662

What would they accept?

663

What would they not accept?

664

What are their daily habits?

665

And once you do something long enough, it becomes your life, right?

666

You do it something over.

667

If you're used to like going to gym every morning you wake up you'll have a fit body

668

because you're just always at the gym and it's not like a practice

669

that you always do right so you just start to you cannot be an imposter

670

when you understand that everything starts in your mind first that's just how life is even diseases

671

that we have physical diseases

672

that we create start first in the mind a lot of people they get like crazy illnesses

673

because trauma is stuck yeah a lot of stress and all these things but these are emotions.

674

It's all emotions before it comes into the physical.

675

So once you understand that, how can you be an imposter?

676

Because it just, it starts here.

677

You know, it's everything.

678

You know, they say the same thing about being delusional.

679

They say, oh no, you should not be delusional.

680

We're delusional every single day.

681

Every day we're delusional.

682

We wake up thinking we will not die.

683

No one is waking up today.

684

I'm going to die.

685

Today I will die.

686

No, no one.

687

Everyone believes that they will live on until it's your time, of course.

688

You know what I mean?

689

So you can be delusional every day in life, but not about the thing that you want.

690

That's like too far, right?

691

No, like once you understand this mind creates your whole, whole life, whole life.

692

Once you change the mind and once you change the things

693

that you think or you set a goal for yourself in like, this is the person that I want to be.

694

This is who I want to show up as in this human body.

695

Yeah, because it's like a game.

696

then that's who you become.

697

That's who you become.

698

That's how people will treat you.

699

That's how your surroundings will change.

700

That's how you will enter rooms that before you couldn't enter, because now you're just unlocking a new character of yourself.

701

It's fun.

702

Oh my God.

703

Yeah, it's like a new level.

704

Yeah, it's like a new level.

705

Oh, I like that analogy.

706

But okay, you also touched on this.

707

And before I forget, because your brain is moving so fast and I'm trying to keep up.

708

It's too fast.

709

every time you say something I make a mental note I want to ask her this

710

and then we've reached 10 later

711

but you know you talked about how even your surroundings right

712

and the people around you make a big difference there's this whole saying

713

that you are the average of the five people you spend most time with

714

but one thing I have experienced

715

and I'm sure you have given how how quickly your life changed as well is

716

that a lot of people you outgrow friends especially who were there in very good times

717

and I've been very surprised to see the how some friendships evolved

718

and some of them stayed very true with me throughout

719

but some people who were there in the trenches kind of like rooting for me hoping it will happen

720

but then when it happens they're not that happy about it

721

and they don't celebrate your wins how do you deal with

722

that well you know it's very logical that that happens because you're uncomfortable now yeah they don't want to be around you.

723

It becomes uncomfortable because now it's like you were in the same position as them once, right?

724

And you made it out.

725

So now that means these people have to look at themselves and only can blame themselves.

726

Now they cannot blame society.

727

They cannot blame the place they grew up in or whatever.

728

They cannot blame outside forces because you did it.

729

So it's like, oh, so I could do it too, but I didn't.

730

And that eats away at them.

731

And then jealousy gets created.

732

You know, I think jealousy is a good emotion.

733

Why?

734

Because it shows you what you want.

735

If someone is jealous of me, they just want what I have or they, what they think I have, right?

736

What the glamorized version of that is, but that's good.

737

So now you have a goal.

738

Take that jealousy, transmute that jealous energy into creating that because I'm not sitting here telling I'm better than you.

739

I'm sitting here.

740

You can do the same thing.

741

You know, I posted something yesterday on my TikTok and, um, it said like, it was like, I get anything I want, you know, like an affirmation.

742

And someone commented like, yeah, because you're a millionaire.

743

And I'm like, but I came from nothing though.

744

A few years ago, I came from nothing.

745

And I took care of my family's financial situation.

746

I built everyone.

747

And I made, even because I like became successful, my family believes in themselves now.

748

And they think like oh we can do whatever we want

749

because liz did it right so it's like don't look at my success

750

and be like oh

751

but you're here now three years ago i was just like you girl just like you literally yeah

752

so it's like yeah it's the same thing like take

753

that jealousy and start to look at okay how can i actually get what they want

754

if you're jealous of beauty

755

if you're jealous of whatever that's just what you want it's an indicator of what you want

756

because it's not about that person.

757

It's everything in life, what we experience is about ourselves.

758

We're thinking from our perspective always.

759

So anything, even someone says to you, it's like a projection of how they feel, right?

760

It's not about you.

761

So when you realize like, you know what, it's not really about me, but I hope you get what you want.

762

If someone is jealous of me, I send them like love and I say, I hope you get there because that's what you want, right?

763

Otherwise, why are you jealous?

764

I'm not jealous of, what's it called?

765

The people that climb the mountains.

766

Because I don't want to climb that mountain.

767

But I bet there's some people jealous that someone climbed that mountain.

768

That's what they want.

769

It's good.

770

Once you take that energy, instead of making it something negative, transmute it.

771

People create the biggest art when they're sad, when they're angry, when they're jealous.

772

They create crazy art, music, everything, like art pieces they create everything out of it do it

773

do the same thing oh uh yeah definitely i think the

774

main message is be inspired instead of like being jealous right see it

775

but don't demonize the emotion no

776

because everyone this is the issue with jealousy people think i'm

777

jealous i'm a bad person now you're not you just want

778

what they want then okay figure out how can i get there

779

if your friends were in the same situation

780

and you could get there they can get there too 100 they can get there too

781

but just have to think okay how can I do what she did you know no absolutely

782

but you know what I like about you Liz is how you are

783

so disconnected from whatever is petty you know you're just you've risen above

784

and you're just like this is I get the human nature

785

behind it I see where it comes from you are very good at recognizing what matters

786

and what doesn't and you you're good at choosing your battles how did you get to

787

that level of being like you know what i'm not gonna

788

sweat the small stuff you know uh thank you by the way

789

and then also i feel like ever since i was young i had

790

that quality so i didn't have time to be a child i had to grow up very fast

791

so i was like an adult since i was young i was like a mother to my mother okay

792

so because of that whenever i would like speak

793

or anything my mom used to call me like a lawyer

794

she's like you defend anyone you see their perspective from any person you see a perspective okay

795

which is not always a good thing

796

but I do I understand why someone did what they did I can get into their shoes

797

and I can almost feel what they felt when they did

798

that do I accept certain behaviors even though I understand no I can understand

799

that what you did was wrong but you also have to understand

800

that I will put my boundary here and be like you won't do

801

that to me ever again right so that's how I operate I'm like I can understand.

802

I can have empathy with you.

803

I can feel bad for you and think like, I'm happy.

804

I'm not in your position.

805

I'm happy.

806

I don't wake up a hater.

807

I'm happy that I think God, the biggest curse he gave was that making someone a hater.

808

Like imagine waking up thinking about how many people you hate or thinking about let's make him miserable, her miserable.

809

That's sad.

810

So I'm like, thank God that I'm not that person, but I can have empathy for you, but it doesn't mean that you have to be in my life though it doesn't mean

811

that i have to and i feel like giving them attention

812

or feeding into it

813

or let's say reacting to these things puts them in my life in my reality

814

but it's like you don't exist in my world

815

if i don't let you exist in it and that's it i have

816

that power so i don't let you exist

817

if i don't like you you know what i mean absolutely boundaries right yeah very important very important

818

but i mean i could speak to you for hours but we're running out of time.

819

I could speak to you for hours.

820

Thank you.

821

So what would you say is a parting message or any advice

822

that you would want to give to anyone listening to you today?

823

I would say like, really start believing in yourself and start believing in God.

824

I think to believe in God is to believe in yourself.

825

I think we don't ask God for enough things and we don't ask for big enough things.

826

You have to ask for the small stuff and the big stuff.

827

And I feel like once you have like lately I've been even closer to God

828

and I feel like the closer you are to God the higher your vibration raises

829

and that's how also the negative things

830

and the lower vibrational things cannot affect you because you're not on

831

that vibe you know what I mean so I think believe in yourself believe

832

that anything you want can happen

833

and will happen no matter how long it takes it will happen it just will

834

and you have to have that belief but Don't become obsessed with it.

835

Don't become obsessed.

836

You know, when people become obsessed with certain things, that's when they start to lose the connection to themselves.

837

When you become obsessed with money, you become obsessed with fame, you become obsessed with relationships, you start to lose yourself.

838

Always keep that connection with yourself.

839

And I think one of the truest ways of keeping that connection with yourself is keeping a connection with God.

840

I love that.

841

Thank you so much, Liz, for being here today.

842

Thank you so much for having me.

843

No, this was incredible.

844

And I wish you only the best.

845

And I can't wait to see how many more leaps and bounds you take online and with everything you do.

846

Thank you for helping all of us.

847

And thank you for this therapy session.

848

Thank you so much for having me.

849

I really appreciate you. Of course.

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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “This video will change your life”. Deze video bevat 849 zinnen en 9602 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 47:50. De spreker praat snel, ongeveer 201 woorden per minuut, dus reken op verbonden en ingeslikte klanken. 88% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is goed te volgen.

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:

Woord	Uitspraak	Betekenis
narcissist zelfstandig naamwoord		narcist
obsess werkwoord	/əbˈsɛs/	obsederen
abundant bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/əˈbʌn.dənt/	overvloedig, rijkelijk voorhanden
cheat werkwoord	/ˈt͡ʃiːt/	valsspelen, bedriegen
jealousy zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈd͡ʒɛl.ə.si/	jaloersheid, naijver
wizard zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈwɪzɚd/	tovenaar, magiër
emotion zelfstandig naamwoord	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	emotie
impostor zelfstandig naamwoord	/ɪmˈpɑstɚ/	bedrieger, bedriegster
intuition zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/	intuïtie
masculine bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˈmæskjələn/	mannelijk
insecure bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ɪnsəˈkjʊɹ/	onbeveiligd
mindset zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/	mentaliteit, ingelsteldheid
selfish bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/	egoïstisch, zelfzuchtig
boundary zelfstandig naamwoord	/ˈbaʊndɹi/	grens
uncomfortable bijvoeglijk naamwoord	/ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/	ongemakkelijk

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Woord	Uitspraak	Betekenis
wake up werkwoord	/ˌweɪk ˈʌp/	wakker worden, ontwaken
go back werkwoord		teruggaan
figure out werkwoord		uitvogelen, er achter komen
grow up werkwoord		opgroeien
come back werkwoord		terugkomen
come up with werkwoord		bedenken, verzinnen
find out werkwoord		ontdekken, onderzoeken
go out werkwoord		naar buiten gaan

Zinnen om te herhalen

Korte, volledige zinnen uit de video die je in alledaagse gesprekken kunt gebruiken:

How can I actually change?
Who are you as a person?
How do I want to feel?
How can I do that?
I'm not jealous of, what's it called?

Grammatica in deze video

De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:

Structuur	In de video
“Used to” used to + werkwoord — een vroegere gewoonte of toestand die niet meer klopt	used to work · used to be · used to do
Voorwaardelijke zinnen if + zin, will/would + werkwoord — een voorwaarde en het gevolg	if you do anything, you'll go · if I just accepted myself I would still
Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt	you've seen · you've ever known · you've turned
Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet	was put · weren't allowed · was always let

Uitspraak om op te letten

De spreker gebruikt 265 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals don't, you're, I'm. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.

De “th”-klanken: empathy /ˈɛmpəθi/, aftermath /ˈæf.tɚˌmæθ/, algorithm /ˈælɡəɹɪðm̩/
De klanken “sh” en “zh”: delusional /dɪˈluːʒənəl/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, desperation /ˌdɛspəˈɹeɪʃən/
Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: delusional /dɪˈluːʒənəl/, intuition /ˌɪn.tjuːˈɪʃ.ən/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, bulimia /bjuˈlimi.ə/, masculinity /ˌmæskjəˈlɪnɪti/

Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:

Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: wizard /ˈwɪzɚd/, abusive /əˈbju.sɪv/, mesmerize /ˈmɛzməɹaɪz/, lizard /ˈlɪzɚd/, surroundings /səˈɹaʊndɪŋz/
/æ/ — opener dan de Nederlandse “e”: masculine /ˈmæskjələn/, masculinity /ˌmæskjəˈlɪnɪti/, transmute /tɹænzˈmjuːt/, clap /klæp/, clarity /ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/
/g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: neglect /nɪˈɡlɛkt/, gratitude /ˈɡɹæ.tɪ.tud/, goddess /ˈɡɑdəs/, algorithm /ˈælɡəɹɪðm̩/, goodness /ˈɡʊdnəs/

Zo oefen je met deze video

Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als narcissist, obsess, abundant.

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?

Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.

Shadowing-techniek: lees de volledige stap-voor-stap-gids →

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What if it works out?

Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les

Belangrijke woorden in deze video

Phrasal verbs die je zult horen

Zinnen om te herhalen

Grammatica in deze video

Uitspraak om op te letten

Zo oefen je met deze video

Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?