Shadowing Practice: Asking 80 Year Old Canadians About Their Biggest Regrets in Life - Learn English Speaking with Video
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When you see young people, what do you think they're doing wrong?
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I know they'll probably never own a home and I don't know about getting a job.
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It's a harder time.
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I worry about them.
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I was worried about money.
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Money, money, money, money.
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That was a big problem.
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Was it worth worrying about in the end?
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Yeah, because I now have this lifestyle which I couldn't afford otherwise.
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My father tried to control my life as much as he could.
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I thought he was a better judge than me of what I was capable of.
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Was he right?
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No, of course he wasn't right.
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Sympathy to me is a crutch.
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People that want sympathy, uh -uh, you fight.
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Some people, no matter what you tell them or what you say, it's not going to help.
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So there's no point.
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Trust your gut.
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Anything that doesn't feel right isn't right.
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In this video, I'll be asking strangers in their 70s,
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80s, and 90s, some of the oldest and wisest people on the planet what advice they would give to their younger selves.
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How old are you?
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I'm 84.
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I'm proud of it.
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Why do you say proud of it?
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Because some people don't live to the age of 84.
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So I'm thrilled.
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I don't hide my age.
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Of course, a lot of women, if you ask them how old they are, they're not your friend anymore.
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Right.
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Where do you think people go wrong in the process of getting older.
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I think your mindset seems very different than some of the people we've spoken to.
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They just become very depressed.
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They don't like getting older and they want sympathy.
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And sympathy for what?
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They're not in the hospital.
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They're not alone.
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Some people, no matter what you tell them or what you say, it's not going to help.
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So there's no point.
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Yeah.
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What does it feel like to be 91?
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I'm not as good as being 60 or 70.
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I'll tell you.
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I'm sorry that I didn't do as much as I could have when I was younger and able to.
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I relied too much on my father being of the old school, sort of tried to control my life as much as he could.
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It was a start really when I started working.
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I ended up working for someone that he presented me to.
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He did not like some of my choices, my life choices.
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buying a house
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or buying a car i ended up going against his wishes he thought i couldn't afford either
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so yeah was he right no of course he wasn't right
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but at the time he thought he was right yeah
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and i was too i guess enthralled with him
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that i thought uh he was a better judge than me of what I was capable of.
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I regret a lot, but I'm thankful I'm at this stage in my life.
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What do you think makes a good father, in your opinion?
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Showing love, showing support, and being there for them when and if they ever need you for anything.
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So you're 71.
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What is something
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that you think you spent a lot of time worrying about over the course of your life
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that might not have been worth all the worrying? worrying about having a clean home spending time with family
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and friends would have been a lot more important than spending
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time doing housework you really care about what somebody thinks about you
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if you are you dressed like this or you're dressed like
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that does it does it matter no it doesn't matter the
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only time i cared about what others thought about me was
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when i was teaching and 27
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and not married you're worried about like what will people think of me
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that bothered me yeah and i wanted to have children
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but it worked out that i got married
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when i was 27 oh you met the same year yeah okay
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and your husband is still around no my husband passed away
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many years after i remarried second one still with us or the second one is still with us but not with me
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trust your gut anything
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that doesn't feel right isn't right i didn't really trust my gut on my first marriage
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but he passed yeah so you caught a break i guess well sorry yeah i divorced him Okay, before.
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Okay.
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I have two children from my first husband.
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That was my gift.
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Yeah.
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How long were you together before he passed?
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I think we were together 50 -odd years.
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Wow. And happy?
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No. Not exactly happy.
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I made myself happy.
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I did my things.
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Why did you not leave?
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Was it not a thing in your age? sure it wasn't wasn't the thing to do
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but uh yeah i would have done it that way
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and you're married right now divorced how long were you married for 47 years really oh my god
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so you just got divorced recently yeah and i wish i'd left many years ago
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what kept you the children yeah yeah my boys but you know
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if i look back on it i mean they were adult men by the time yeah you know
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if i'd left 10 years ago i think i would have
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had 10 years more of being myself many years ago my son once spent some time with some friends
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and all the friends that he was with had divorced parents
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and he said you know mom if you
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and dad ever get divorced i don't think i'll ever talk to you again
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and then had a huge impact on me yeah you never forgot
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that i never forgot that and then i stuck it out until the time
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that boys both had left home they both had their own lives
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and i thought they're old enough to handle it now and
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that was it you think if you didn't say
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that things would have been different i i think i probably would have had more courage to leave before
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that yes being in a marriage
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that was a very miserable marriage I wasn't living for myself
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whereas now I'm alone I'm enjoying life nobody to to worry
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about just myself it's great know each other very well before
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you sign those papers you were with your husband for basically
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50 years almost more than 50 people you're how old
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when you got married
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when i got married uh was some oh my god bad
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land 63 okay 1963 oh my god almost 60 years yeah what do you attribute to almost 60 years together
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and very very happy doing a lot of things together exercise the bicycle walking walking a lot
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and this helps us to be together du plaisir
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when you are happy
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when you're happy rather to tell you the truth since my husband passed away uh 2020
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so it's six years
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when he he was sick i had no time to go to the gym
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or to hear or to walk or and
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when he passed away yeah now i am a bit better let's say
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and uh i try to walk i have this journal
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that we created it's called the advice collector
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and the whole point of the journal is just to be able to like approach strangers
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and then ask them for a piece of advice So I just collect advice from people that I meet.
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Okay.
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And I'm wondering if you wouldn't mind writing a piece of advice for me.
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Okay.
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Be confident in yourself and be considerate of others less fortunate.
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I didn't have the confidence, but I was considerate of others.
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Remember to trust your gut.
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If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
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Enjoy life.
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Don't sweat the small stuff.
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Take all the chances and opportunities that come your way.
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Don't be afraid of life.
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You should travel all over the world and know other people before you marry and settle down.
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Enjoy life as much as you can.
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You have to open your horizons.
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Like yourself, love your family, and be thankful for every day and for the special people in it.
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We have traveled all over the world and spoken to more than 10 ,000 people.
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What we have discovered is that talking to strangers is an art that everyone wants to be better at, but nobody seems to know how to do we created this advice collector journal
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that we have released on our website that helps you do exactly
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that the advice collector is simple walk up to a stranger
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ask them to leave a piece of meaningful advice for you
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and then start a conversation
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that might change your life we have released a very limited
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batch of these you can grab one right now to learn
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how to better talk to strangers by clicking the link in our description or scanning the qr code on screen.
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All right, back to the video.
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My husband passed away at 43.
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I became a widow at 37.
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You just have to play the hand you're dealt.
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It's horrible to see someone you love have cancer.
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And then when I was diagnosed, I fought hard.
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I thought my children are not going to lose both their parents to cancer.
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You have to have a positive attitude.
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Be thankful for what you have i just had a positive tough attitude you have to
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because sympathy to me is a crutch people
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that want sympathy uh -uh you fight yeah
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and you're cancer -free thank god thank god
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and i've met a very nice gentleman here and that makes life interesting too and the people here are very nice
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yeah a nice gentleman like uh a nice companion yeah we do things together
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and that's that's nice I was married when I was 21.
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My wife passed away about 14 years ago, so we've been married for a long time, but the last few years were not good years
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because she developed Alzheimer's and the last couple of years were not good years for me.
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What kept you guys together for so long?
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The family.
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Maintaining our family.
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But you loved each other.
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Oh, yeah.
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It's a happy marriage.
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Definitely, yeah.
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After over 50 years of being with one person, what is your definition of love?
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I'm curious.
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Love is having support, real affection for each other, and not being afraid to show it.
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But you have a companion right now, right?
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Because it's who we just spoke to.
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Probably.
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She considers herself a very close companion and she doesn't stop in disclosing how much she adores me.
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And I don't take it that well because at this age, you have to know what your limits are and, you know, I don't know.
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I like being close.
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I don't like being reminded always, constantly, about how much this person thinks of you.
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It's almost as if she worships me and that i'm not
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that good of a person you know so she needs to relax
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so you're saying yeah she's well she knows
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that i can look as long as i don't you know
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continue ever you don't order you can look at the menu
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but you're not going to order that's right exactly that's still
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just smart men that's you know you have 90 years of experience thank you yeah
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if you could go back in time to talk to your
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25 year old self knowing what you know today at 84
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what would you say to her just do what's good for you don't worry what anyone else does
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but she's not going to listen anyway she's not going to
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do anything this is life i wouldn't want to go back you learn
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if you're teachable and we hope to and it's the attitude
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that we have of being with the right people i would
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say don't worry about getting married that's not the most important thing in life
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Worry more about building your career and go as far as you can in your career.
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Have more fun in life, you know, enjoy life.
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I think I was very serious when I was younger, very serious about what the outcome was going to be
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and to do all the right things and make sure people liked me.
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And I think when I was younger, I was just too, I was very hard on myself.
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Be more aggressive and have confidence in yourself.
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That's one thing I did not have.
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my father did not instill the confidence my mother tried to
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but she was sort of under his thumb too
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so it's not as if he was aggressive or abusive he wasn't yeah
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but he was very old -fashioned in that respect what is one thing
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that when you were younger you put a lot of importance on
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and then as you got older you realized it wasn't worth
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worrying about i was worried about money money money money money
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that was a big problem was it worth worrying about in the end like was it worth consuming
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so much of your time on yeah yeah
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because i i now have this lifestyle
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which i wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise i've been
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i worked from the time my son was 10 years old
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i stayed at work till i was 70 something wow
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because you wanted to or because you had to both
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but i did want to i enjoyed working i worked for
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brown shoes okay i bought all my shoes there growing up i couldn't afford the shoes
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when you see young people what do you think they're doing
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wrong what do you think they can be better at you
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know what it's not what i think it's how they feel about themselves i'm 27
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so a baby i'm a baby yeah how old are you
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you're a baby i remember it well 30 is a baby you know people who are 27
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and 30 feel like their life is ending i feel like
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if they didn't achieve what they thought they would achieve like their life is over
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but you're saying just a baby seems like a silly thing to say but
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when you're 27 30 just getting started exactly it's whatever you feel whatever you do my granddaughter graduated from university
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and she wants to travel before she settles down to work
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so she's working in a restaurant to save money to travel
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all i wanted to do after i graduated was go to work yeah is she crazy are you
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or is that does
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that make sense no i think it makes perfect sense you have a long time to work at settle down
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and so now while she has no ties it's time to travel
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and grow in her perspective are you worried for them in in any way
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because the world is
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so different now than it was for you i know they'll probably never own a home
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if they live here in toronto
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and i don't know about getting a job it's a harder time i worry about them
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but i'm glad that i won't be around to worry there's a lot of people
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that don't want to have kids right now
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and they say the kids take your money take your time your energy they take like your youth they take everything,
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but you still recommend having kids thousand percent oh you know i have one friend she never had children
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and she was quite quite okay with that
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and then as she got older
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and she saw me with my children i think it really
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hit her i remember her saying to me one day yeah
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and now i really do regret it
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because i mean you know first of all they're babies
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so you enjoy their babyhood then they become teenagers
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and teenagers can be a pain in the neck
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but they're also wonderful to watch them grow up
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and go through their different stages then you see them get married they have their own children it's it's just so wonderful
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to to watch your kids grow up and flourish
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and then they become your friends does
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that feeling ever go away of being a father
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and like taking care of your kids and worrying about them i hope not
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because i i i enjoy
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that that's what i live for they're in their enjoyment their livelihood
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when they take trips i try to put myself in their position
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and you know regret that i didn't do it
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but I love the idea that they're able to do it and that gives me pleasure.
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Thank you so much for watching this video.
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If you enjoyed it, please make sure to subscribe for more life advice coming soon
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and check out the advice collector with the link in the description
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or scanning the QR code on screen if you want to talk to strangers and get valuable life advice yourself.
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What We Can Learn from a Conversation with 80-Year-Old Canadians
Imagine striking up a chat with strangers in their 80s and 90s, asking them about life’s biggest regrets and advice for younger selves. That’s exactly what happens in a fascinating video where older Canadians share raw, heartfelt insights—from worrying too much about money to letting others control their choices. This real-life dialogue is a goldmine for English learners: it’s full of natural speech, colloquial phrases, and emotional tone that mirrors how people actually talk. Whether you’re practicing pronunciation or trying to sound more fluent, this conversation gives you a chance to learn from authentic, unscripted communication.
Useful Chunks & Collocations to Memorize
- "a crutch": Something that helps you but stops you from being independent (e.g., "Sympathy is a crutch—you have to fight.")
- "trust your gut": Follow your instincts (e.g., "Trust your gut—if it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t.")
- "relied too much on": Depended heavily on someone else (e.g., "I relied too much on my father’s decisions.")
- "go against someone’s wishes": Do the opposite of what someone wants (e.g., "I ended up going against his wishes.")
- "mindset seems different": A person’s way of thinking is unique (e.g., "Her mindset seems different from others her age.")
Your Shadowing Challenge: Practice Like a Pro
Ready to improve your English pronunciation and fluency? Try this shadowspeak exercise. First, watch a 30-second clip from the video. Listen closely to the rhythm, stress, and intonation—how do the speakers emphasize words like "money" or "proud"? Then, play the clip again and repeat it *immediately*, mimicking their tone and pace. This is called shadowing, and it’s one of the best ways to train your mouth and brain to speak like a native. For extra practice, use a shadowing app to record yourself and compare it to the original. Notice small details: do you pause in the same places? Do you stress the right words? Over time, shadow speech will help you sound more natural and confident. Don’t worry if it feels tricky at first—even 5 minutes a day can make a big difference!
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | we've spoken · have traveled · have discovered |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | was diagnosed · being reminded |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.