Shadowing Practice: Just Stop Trying to Speak English Perfectly - Learn English Speaking with Video

The biggest thing stopping your English fluency is not grammar, it's not vocabulary, it's not even English listening practice.

It's something much deeper, something deep inside of you.

Today, I'm going to share some ideas from one of the greatest thinkers in human history

and the secrets you learn will transform your English more than any course.

Stay with me.

This is different than any English video you've ever watched before.

Yeah.

Okay, what's the problem, right?

Okay, years of study, zero fluency.

Still feel frustrated with your English speaking.

I get it.

When students come to me, they are all frustrated from years and years and years of study,

but they just can't speak naturally, fluently, conversationally, confidently, powerfully.

Right.

They feel bad because they make the same mistakes over and over.

Grammar mistakes, pronunciation mistakes, getting confused about vocabulary.

It's all very normal.

and then you also compare yourself to other people.

You see someone who speaks English better than you.

You start feeling bad.

Ah, they speak fluently.

Maybe at your job.

Other people get credit.

You know, sometimes other people get credit for your ideas.

You're in a meeting.

You've got a great idea.

Maybe you've kind of talked about it with people.

But then in the meeting, you know, your English is not good.

You kind of shrink down.

You become a mouse in English.

You're a lion at home.

but in English, you're a mouse.

And then other people voice your ideas or say your ideas, maybe a pause or something, and they get the credit, right?

Common, common, happens all the time.

And so, so, so, so, so many people, maybe you, are perfectionists.

And, you know, on one hand, that's good.

You have high standards.

You want to speak fluently.

You want to be like a near-native speaker.

But that perfection, and especially the focus on perfect grammar, is also a trap that can kill your confidence.

And grammar kills your speaking.

It kills your fluency.

This is the problem.

And when I say that, I mean trying to memorize grammar rules and trying to be perfect all the time.

And a lot of times, you know, you hide, you know, you shrink down it's time to use English

and then you don't feel confidence and you don't speak up.

Or when you speak, you don't sound confident, right?

It's all, all, all very common.

And it has one root cause.

Today, we're going into kind of a deep topic.

Really, it's a spiritual topic.

And that deep cause is pride.

Pride.

It's not about grammar.

It's not about vocabulary.

It's not about method.

Pride.

Right?

Because you say, I must not look bad.

That's what you're thinking, right?

Deep down, that's what's happening.

You're thinking, I must not look bad.

I must not appear weak.

I must not fail.

Right?

That's pride.

The opposite of pride is humility.

Humility.

And that's where we get into our great teacher, our great mind, our great philosopher, the Imam al-Ghazali.

Imam al-Ghazali.

Imam al-Ghazali, I think all Muslims know him.

Imam al-Ghazali, a very famous Islamic scholar and writer and teacher.

And he wrote extensively about kibir.

I'm probably pronouncing that terribly.

I'm sorry. In Arabic. But pride.

Okay.

Pride is a disease.

Pride as a disease.

A disease that affects us in all parts of our lives.

And this is a paradox we call in English.

Paradox.

It's a good vocabulary word.

Paradox.

Paradox is when two opposite things seem to be true at the same time

or seem to be good at the same time.

So this is a paradox because on one hand, you want to feel strong and confident when you speak English, right?

You want to be a lion in English, not a mouse.

But on the other hand, pride actually destroys our confidence.

Right?

So we want confidence, but not pride.

So this is a deep topic and we need to think deeply about this

and how we can develop confidence so you can speak confidently, be your best, be a lion in English, not a mouse.

But to do that, we actually have to have humility.

Humility.

So let's discuss the ideas of Imam al-Ghazali on this topic and how it actually connects to English learning.

And in truth, it connects to all parts of your life.

So I'm going to read a few things.

He taught pride hides itself.

100

You do not know you have it, right?

101

We all think we're humble, but it's the little voices deep inside that pride comes from.

102

It disguises itself as being high standards or being careful.

103

I'm not ready yet.

104

The root of that is pride, right?

105

Because you don't want to look foolish, right?

106

That's what it all comes down to.

107

I don't want to look bad.

108

And Imam al-Ghazali describes the levels of humility from kind of the surface level.

109

You know, you say, oh, I'm humble.

110

Everybody kind of does that, right, to be polite.

111

But inside, we all have ego.

112

We do.

113

It's natural.

114

It's human nature.

115

Okay.

116

Imam Al-Ghazali also taught that true knowledge, when you really, really, really understand, when you have true knowledge, humility naturally comes.

117

Because the more you learn, the more you realize you're quite small.

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The more you learn, the more you realize your own limitations and weaknesses and have to accept them.

119

That's true humility.

120

True humility.

121

and by the way Andrew Murray one of my favorite Christian

122

writers wrote about this same idea he said humility is not

123

thinking less of yourself not thinking I'm a horrible person although

124

if that's true then you have to be honest about it

125

and change it he said it is thinking of yourself less

126

so it's not focusing on yourself so much

127

and me me me me me me and of course both Imam al-Ghazali and Andrew Murray

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taught and believed that the focus should be on God, on the highest.

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Not on ourselves, always ourselves, me, me, me.

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The desire to appear great in the eyes of others is the root of much human suffering.

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Much human suffering.

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True humility means being so focused on serving,

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on knowledge, on learning, that you forget about yourself.

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You forget about your image.

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You forget about how people view you because you are serving something higher.

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You're trying to contribute.

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You're focused on something higher, not yourself.

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Okay, so when you forget about your image, you can relax.

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When you have true humility, you can relax.

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This connects very deeply to English.

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Because when you let go, you have real humility.

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You realize, okay, yeah, I'm not perfect in English.

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I'll never be perfect.

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I'm not perfect.

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Me, A.J.

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Hoag, native speaker, English teacher over 30 years.

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I'm not perfect in English.

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I make mistakes.

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Sometimes when I'm speaking, maybe my confidence isn't great.

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I feel a little tired, right?

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You have to be honest about it and accept it.

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You're a human being.

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You will always be imperfect, not perfect.

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The more you accept that and develop this true inner humility, the more you can relax.

155

And then when it's time to speak English, you just do your best, right?

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It's part of our code.

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We do the best we can.

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It's the second part of our code.

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We do the best we can.

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Not we're perfect.

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Not everybody thinks we're awesome.

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Not our grammar is perfect.

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No, no, no. We do the best we can and we accept we make mistakes.

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We're not perfect.

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We will never be perfect.

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We will always make mistakes.

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And when you accept that and you relax, your communication, your English speaking ability actually becomes much, much better.

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The words will come out more because you're not constantly worrying and thinking and analyzing all the time.

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You just let it come out.

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And if it comes out a little badly, you don't care.

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So you sound confident.

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You look confident, right?

173

You do become an English speaking lion because when you're always focused on pride, being perfect, worrying about what everybody thinks,

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scared of making mistakes, it actually makes you into a mouse, right?

175

Because then you start, oh, right?

176

That's when, you know, you're feeling strong, you got great ideas, but then when it's time to communicate in English, suddenly you're a mouse.

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Not good.

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And the root of it is pride.

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We're getting deep today, okay?

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We're getting very philosophical.

181

So, here's some practical things to do to kill that pride and develop real humility, which will actually improve your English speaking.

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Number one, speak English every day, even when you sound bad, especially when you sound bad.

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Do not let mistakes stop you from speaking English.

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Do not let your pride stop you from speaking English.

185

People here in Japan, where I am right now, have this problem.

186

Now, on one hand, the Japanese are incredibly focused on excellence.

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And I love that about the Japanese people.

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It's wonderful.

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But with English, I know that many of them actually know a good amount of English, but they actually won't try to speak, especially to someone like me, a native speaker.

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They see my face and they won't speak because they think they're not good enough yet. And that's just pride.

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Number two, make at least five mistakes every day. On purpose.

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On purpose, just get it out and make the mistakes.

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And just get used to being relaxed about it.

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Get used to just doing it loudly and let everybody hear your bad pronunciation.

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Let everybody hear your grammar mistakes.

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Get it out.

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Let go of that pride.

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Three, stop comparing yourself, especially to native speakers.

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Okay, that's a crazy, prideful comparison.

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You're comparing yourself to someone who learned English as a baby, from a baby, right?

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I'm 58 years old.

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I've been speaking English, let's say, the first year I wasn't speaking.

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So 57 years I've been speaking English fluently from when I was a baby.

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You can't compare yourself to me.

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That's crazy, okay?

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That's just pride.

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killing your confidence.

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Don't do it.

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Don't compare yourself to native speakers.

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And in fact, don't compare yourself to anyone else.

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Of course, you're going to try to improve always.

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Of course, you listen to me and try to copy me and do your best, of course.

213

But don't get upset because you don't speak exactly like me or like Tony Robbins or something.

214

That's just pride and it's crazy.

215

It actually hurts your confidence in your speaking, right?

216

And the same is true even for people maybe where you work.

217

Maybe someone at your job speaks English better than you do.

218

Okay, you're not helping yourself by comparing yourself to them and feeling bad because they're a better speaker than you.

219

It doesn't help.

220

It's just pride.

221

If someone does correct you, I hope they don't.

222

Sometimes people will do it.

223

Just say thank you.

224

Say, okay, thanks, and let it go.

225

Don't get all crazy about it.

226

Don't think about it constantly, and don't get upset.

227

And you know, if it's not a native speaker correcting you, sometimes they they're giving you bad advice.

228

They're correcting you in a wrong way.

229

I just did a video called Natives Make Mistakes.

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Natives Break Rules.

231

We break grammar rules all the time.

232

And sometimes I've heard, you know, English learners who are maybe like at an intermediate level trying to correct my English.

233

And it's crazy.

234

Like, you don't know what you're talking about.

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You're you're you're talking from a textbook, but that's not actually how we really speak.

236

So, if someone corrects you, just say thanks and let it go and don't think about it.

237

And just remember that every high-level person, someone who speaks, maybe again,

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someone at your job, someone you know who learned English as an adult and their speaking is amazing.

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Just realize they were like you.

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In the past, they were where you are now.

241

Relax.

242

So English is not a, it's not a, it's not a, don't think of it as like some formula you have to master.

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It's not a set of rules, okay?

244

It's a door.

245

It's a tool that you use to communicate your ideas, okay?

246

Humility opens that door. Be humble.

247

All right.

248

Now, I want to read from you from The Alchemy of Happiness by Imam Al-Ghazali.

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I'm going to share my screen now with you.

250

Okay, so I highlighted a couple sections that, you know, this is, you know, this is very philosophical and spiritual.

251

But we can connect it to English and to your life in general.

252

Okay, so he wrote, A man should call himself strictly to account for his past actions.

253

Now, the translation here in English is a bit formal.

254

Not a bit, very formal.

255

So, let me help you with the vocab.

256

Call himself to account means you got to judge yourself, basically.

257

Be honest, right?

258

So a man should look at his past actions, or a woman, and when you did something bad, when you did something wrong,

259

when you've been weak, when you've been sinful,

260

in Imam al-Ghazali's language, you should admit it.

261

Admit it.

262

Right?

263

So often, again, pride, what do we do?

264

We don't want to even admit, right?

265

You don't want to say, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

266

I'm bad.

267

I made mistakes.

268

I did something wrong.

269

I hurt someone.

270

I was sinful.

271

So the first step is that you've got to be honest.

272

The first step in humility, true deep humility, is you must, must, must be honest with yourself about yourself.

273

Next sentence.

274

Every evening, so maybe before bed, he should examine his heart.

275

So you should look at your heart.

276

You should look at what you did that day.

277

And not only what you did, but your thinking and your feeling.

278

Examine his heart as to what he has done to see whether he has gained or lost in his spiritual capital.

279

So he's saying, look inside yourself and see, did you gain, did you grow spiritually at the deepest level, or did you lose?

280

So he's taking a very wide, deep view of life here.

281

We're not talking about the surface.

282

This is more, the more necessary, as the heart is like a treacherous business partner,

283

always ready to cajole, right, and deceive.

284

So what he's saying is that, he's saying the heart, I would say our mind, our subconscious, our unconscious, right?

285

Our pride, we're always trying to fool ourselves.

286

You know, the physicist Richard Feynman said that we are the easiest to fool, meaning it's the easiest person to fool is yourself.

287

The easiest person to lie to is yourself.

288

We lie to ourselves all the time and try to make ourselves bigger and better than we really are.

289

We try to forget about or ignore our weaknesses, our mistakes, our vices, right,

290

the things we do that are bad, our sins, right?

291

And then we kind of try to blow up and make bigger our good things, the good things about ourselves.

292

So it says we have to be careful.

293

We have to be careful, right?

294

So it says, the heart, the unconscious mind is always ready to cajole and deceive.

295

Sometimes it presents its own selfishness under the guise of obedience to God.

296

So that a man supposes he has gained, whereas he has really lost.

297

What's he saying here?

298

He's saying we fool ourselves all the time.

299

We'll do something bad, but then this is called rationalizing. To rationalize.

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Good word in English to rationalize.

301

To rationalize is when you do something bad, deep inside you know it's bad,

302

but then you make a bunch of excuses in your mind to tell yourself that it was actually good.

303

Oh, actually, no, no, you know, I cheated someone, but actually it's okay, and you give a lot of reasons, right?

304

He's saying this is human nature, and it is human nature, is true.

305

And so we'll sometimes, you know, think to ourselves, oh, I'm being, I was good, but in fact, we were not.

306

All right, let's go on to our next quote here from him.

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Come on, help me out here.

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Sorry.

309

There we go.

310

Okay.

311

Okay.

312

Move my camera over here.

313

All right.

314

What was that?

315

Let me adjust my camera.

316

Sorry.

317

There we go.

318

If a man finds himself sluggish and averse, sluggish means lazy, basically, and not self-disciplined,

319

he should consort with one who is proficient in such practices to catch the contagion of his enthusiasm.

320

See, I told you this is kind of a very formal and somewhat difficult translation.

321

So let me make it easier for you.

322

Okay, if you find yourself being lazy and you don't have self-discipline, right?

323

Self-discipline is when you do what you know you must do.

324

But, oh, we don't want to do it.

325

That could be something simple, like I should be listening to English and studying it, but I don't want to.

326

Or it can be deeper and more spiritual, right?

327

I should live a virtuous good life. But instead, I'm not.

328

So he's saying, what should you do in that situation?

329

He says you should consort with means you want to be around someone who has those qualities.

330

So you can catch their enthusiasm, right?

331

So if you are not self-disciplined, you want to be around people who are self-disciplined.

332

And just by being around a lot of people who are self-disciplined, you will start to imitate them.

333

You'll start to be more like them.

334

Tony Robbins calls this a peer group, P-E-E-R.

335

It's the group you hang around.

336

If you hang around a lot of lazy people, they will kind of start pulling you down and you will become more lazy.

337

If you hang around a lot of sinful people who are doing bad things, they're going to pull you down and you're going to become a more bad person,

338

a worse person.

339

Right.

340

So he's saying you need to choose who you are around

341

and you want to try to be around the best possible people.

342

And just that can change your life completely.

343

And he says, if one cannot find such a pattern of austerity close at hand,

344

in other words, pattern of austerity is again self-discipline and living a simple life.

345

So what if you don't have people like that around you?

346

That's what he's saying.

347

He said, it's a good thing to study the lives of the saints.

348

So this is the great thing in life that even

349

if you're surrounded by people who are lazy or who just are not great, well, guess what?

350

We have so through human history, so many great thinkers and saints and great people.

351

And you can study their lives and in many cases read what they wrote.

352

For example, this book, get it?

353

In English, it's called The Alchemy of Happiness by Imam al-Ghazali.

354

Of course, you can read scriptures.

355

You can study the lives of saints, the writings of saints, of the very best people, the people that had the most self-discipline, who were the most virtuous, the most good.

356

And by reading about their lives and reading what they wrote as a daily habit,

357

They will start to pull you up, pull you up.

358

You'll start to become a better person and gain more self-discipline because of their influence.

359

And indeed, you will also gain great humility.

360

Because I know when I read writings from great saints or great men, you know, on one hand, I'm inspired to be better.

361

And on the other hand, I feel humble because I'm like, I'm not even close to those people.

362

You become more aware of your weaknesses, your imperfections.

363

And that's a good thing.

364

That's true humility.

365

All right.

366

And then finally, a very philosophical point, and I think this gets to really the heart of it.

367

Shame upon thee, O soul, for thy overpowering love of the world.

368

This is almost Shakespearean, the language.

369

It's not how we speak now.

370

So he's saying, he's kind of talking to himself, right?

371

He's saying that we should be ashamed because we love this material world so much.

372

We're so focused on money and things and this material world. And it's a shame.

373

It's terrible.

374

It's the source of our pride.

375

If thou does not believe in heaven or hell, at any rate, thou believes in death, which will snatch from thee all worldly delights.

376

Okay, so this is a core, extremely important principle in life.

377

And you'll find this in most religious teachings because it's maybe the major truth of our lives now that we're living, right?

378

So he's saying, even if you don't believe in heaven and hell, even if you're not religious.

379

You know you're going to die.

380

You know that.

381

We all know that.

382

And that when you die, all your worldly delights, right, all your successes, all your money, everything you gain in this life, gone.

383

It's all gone.

384

Right?

385

And we don't want to think about it.

386

We kind of know that, but we push it away.

387

But he's saying you need to keep that deep,

388

essentially spiritual mindset perspective, because that's the truth.

389

Buddhists describe this as impermanence.

390

Impermanence is one of the core teachings of Buddhism, and of Sanatana Dharma, and of Christianity, and of course of Islam,

391

as Imam Al-Ghazali is teaching us here.

392

This is the truth, and so this is really the source

393

of deep humility when you realize it doesn't matter how great you are in this life, how powerful, how much money,

394

how handsome or beautiful, you can achieve all of those things.

395

But if you live long enough, you're going to age and get old.

396

And you're going to die.

397

And all that will disappear.

398

And probably within, you know, 30 to 50 years, maybe within just one year, you'll mostly be forgotten.

399

Your family will remember you, but then of course they will die too.

400

Certainly within a couple generations, all memory of you is gone.

401

Everything you achieved, gone.

402

So he's saying, don't forget this.

403

And when you really think about this and you spend time daily thinking about this, it changes your perspective.

404

Suddenly your little English mistakes are not a big deal, are they?

405

It doesn't matter.

406

It doesn't matter at all.

407

Certainly work to be better because that gives you self-discipline and you can contribute to your families, right?

408

You have these higher reasons you want to use English to make your life and hopefully the lives of others better,

409

especially your family members. But never forget this.

410

And he says, why are thou so mad at the world?

411

Why are you so focused on all this when you're forgetting this big truth?

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And, you know, amen to that, I say.

413

So this is the core, right?

414

This is the core of deep,

415

deep, deep humility, never forgetting this key essential point.

416

And to bring it back to English again, this kind of humility, you know,

417

at first, you know, I know it's scary and maybe depressing sometimes people think, oh, that's depressing to think about it.

418

But it's the truth.

419

Hiding from the truth does not lead you to anything good.

420

It's the truth.

421

We must never forget it in any moment.

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And when we remember, then we do develop that humility.

423

And it's called perspective in English.

424

It's how you see things.

425

And perspective kind of helps you decide what is important, what is big, and what is small, right?

426

When we have this very short, material, prideful view, it's like we're looking through a little tunnel,

427

a little telescope, a microscope, really.

428

And so something that is actually quite small seems huge, super big, right?

429

Like, I made my English is not good enough yet, right?

430

You're looking through this microscope and you're getting all worried and upset about it.

431

Right?

432

That's looking through a microscope.

433

That's no perspective.

434

You're not seeing anything outside that.

435

And it's killing your confidence. And making you crazy.

436

But when you take a big wider view, what Imam al-Ghazali is teaching here.

437

right now you realize okay you know your english is important you're trying to improve it

438

but you realize it's like it's this small compared to

439

that big truth of you know that eternal truth of the truth of life

440

and death and if you are spiritual

441

or religious the truth of what comes after death and

442

that eternal life that's huge so your english you know is very tiny compared to that It's fine to improve your English.

443

You do want to improve it.

444

You want to be a lion in English, not a mouse. But keep humility.

445

Keep this wide perspective.

446

And as I said, you know, the truth is that it'll actually give you more confidence.

447

And I'm speaking from my own experience in life, is that the more I have become spiritual, the more I've had this wider and wider perspective.

448

and it's something that happens naturally for most people as they get older.

449

On one hand, I'm much more humble, right?

450

I have much more humility.

451

I realize how small I am,

452

how weak I am, how small all my little material desires and goals and problems are.

453

They're tiny.

454

but what's interesting is realizing that at a deep level and realizing it emotionally too

455

that actually has increased my confidence

456

because now if it's not so important well I don't need to worry about it so much do I?

457

I can just relax and do my best

458

just relax and do my best and when I relax

459

and do my best I'm more confident I perform better in whatever I'm doing

460

I enjoy it more and I actually do better and improve faster.

461

So that's the paradox I was talking about at the beginning, right?

462

That deeper humility, which in some ways makes us feel smaller,

463

naturally, certainly in this life we're living now and all our concerns, gives us actually a very, very deep confidence.

464

This is deep confidence, okay?

465

This is the root of true, real, deep confidence, this humility.

466

I teach you a lot, a lot, a lot of techniques for, I would say, more surface confidence, right?

467

So peak emotional state and anchoring and NLP techniques and all these different techniques,

468

using your mind, imagining, visualizing goals, all that's fine.

469

You just have to realize it's only about that big, really.

470

okay and all that will help you in the moment

471

when you need it you've got a job interview you've got

472

a speech you can use all these the techniques i'm teaching you in those moments

473

and you should use those

474

but long term for true deep deep deep confidence in english speaking and in all parts of your life

475

you need this.

476

You need to develop this deep humility and a spiritual perspective.

477

And that's how you go from being a mouse in English to being a lion.

478

All right.

479

Lots of love to you.

480

Just a note, obviously I'm doing recorded videos right now because my internet Unfortunately, the internet here in Japan,

481

we're using just a temporary internet while we visit Japan.

482

So it's not so fast.

483

So doing live streams, I was having a lot of connection problems.

484

So I'm just going to record videos while I'm here.

485

When we go back to the United States, I'll start doing live again.

486

Okay, so do me a favor.

487

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What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →

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What is the Shadowing Technique?