Shadowing Practice: Narcissism Is a Defense Against BPD | OTTO KERNBERG - Learn English Speaking with Video

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The narcissistic personality disorder is one of the severe personality disorder that presents borderline personality organization.
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As a secondary defense against the fragmenting of one's self-concept
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and of one's concept of significant others and all this struggle between idealized and persecutory segments of experience,
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they have managed to construct what we call a pathological grandiose self
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that is constituted by combination of ideal aspects of the self,
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ideal aspects of others that have been incorporated as if one possessed them,
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and ideal aspirations of the self as if one had achieved them.
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While at the same time one's need of others is denied,
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is devalued, others are devalued, we don't need them, we are fine, I'm just great by myself, I don't need anybody else.
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There is an ideal internal world of grandiosity and self-sufficiency.
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And the rest of the world is constituted by depreciated,
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worthless people, those who are great and one still has to admire in order to incorporate everything they have.
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And those who are potential enemies one has to fight off.
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That structure means that the person seems to be integrated in a way.
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He's not divided and becomes quite secure.
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They look much better than the other severe personality disorders.
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They show on the surface self-satisfaction, grandiosity, excessive concern with themselves,
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a tremendous need to be admired but without any mutuality of the relationships.
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So there is an abnormal love of the self,
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incapacity to love others, an internal sense of grandiosity and emptiness at the same time.
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In the treatment, grandiosity becomes the dominant transference issue.
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They have to show their superiority to the therapist and keep themselves superior to the therapist,
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because the only alternative is then if they would need the therapist, it means that the therapist is superior to them,
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and they would feel immediately inferiorized, humiliated.
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So there is a long-term struggle.
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Who is going to be superior?
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Who is going to be inferior? inferior without a capacity for real dependency that gradually has to be clarified and resolved.
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And then the underlying problem of severe splits between idealized and persecutor relationship come to the fore,
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the underlying borderline structure against which the narcissistic structure was a defense.
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Thank you.

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Who Will Benefit from This Video?

This video is perfect for intermediate to advanced English learners looking to expand their vocabulary in psychology and practice understanding complex, academic speech. If you want to improve your ability to follow detailed explanations or use "shadowing technique" to mimic natural pacing, this is a great resource. It’s also ideal for those aiming to learn English with videos that blend interesting content with language growth—you’ll pick up new terms while exploring a fascinating topic.

Words & Idioms Worth Stealing

Here are key terms to add to your toolkit:

  • Pathological grandiose self: An exaggerated, unrealistic sense of one’s own importance. Example: "His pathological grandiose self made it hard to accept feedback."
  • Mutuality: A relationship where both people give and receive equally. Example: "Healthy friendships thrive on mutuality."
  • Transference: In therapy, when a client redirects feelings toward the therapist. Example: "The therapist noticed transference in the client’s anger toward her."
  • Fragmenting: Breaking into pieces. Example: "Stress can lead to a fragmenting of focus."

How to Get the Accent Right

The speaker uses a clear, academic tone with steady pacing—great for practicing "shadow speech." Focus on:

  • Stress on key terms: Words like "narcissistic," "borderline," and "grandiosity" are emphasized. Mimic this stress to sound natural.
  • Pausing between ideas: The speaker pauses after complex phrases (e.g., "that is constituted by combination of ideal aspects of the self"). Use these pauses to catch up when shadowing.
  • Clear vowel sounds: Words like "incapacity" and "humiliated" have long vowels—hold them slightly to match the speaker’s clarity.

Practice daily with short clips, and soon you’ll notice your ability to follow and repeat complex speech improve. Remember, "shadow speak" is about copying rhythm and tone as much as words—so don’t worry if you miss a term at first. Keep going, and you’ll master it!

Grammar in this video

The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:

StructureIn the video
Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does itis constituted · have been incorporated · is denied
Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters nowhave managed · have been incorporated
Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thingthose who are

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

Shadowing technique: read the full step-by-step guide →