Shadowing Practice: Real Talk : Situationships, Self-Worth & Generational Trauma - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

So I'm going to take you along with me on my day,

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So I'm going to take you along with me on my day,

and we're going to get started first with getting ready with me.

So because my skin is feeling just a bit dull,

I want to give it that glass skin look.

I'm going to start with the Booster Pro.

So I like to take the pink serum and apply it on the device like so.

So each zone on my face,

I just apply it for a minute.

And then after that, you want to do the third mode,

which is the microcurrent mode.

So I like going around my smile lines just to plump them up.

I feel like I'm ironing out my wrinkles, you know?

And the last step is the Dermashot.

It uses EMS technology, so like you really feel it.

I might actually go a little higher.

Level two, level three.

Just for under my chin.

So this mode helps stimulate sagging skin.

It helps tighten your muscles,

and it's really great to target your under chin area.

My turkey neck.

Ta-da!

All done.

I'm gonna finish off my skin prep using divine water perfecting mist

So I'm gonna go ahead and get makeup ready

and I'll be right back So I just finished my glam

and I'm in love with how sang did my makeup today So

if you are subscribed to my youtube channel You should get

a notification whenever I do a blog post on youtube

and one of the questions I asked this week was let

me know what topics you'd like for me to cover on future afterglow episodes

I asked my producer Chelsea to pick out a few questions that really caught her eye.

I haven't seen these, so I'm going to go ahead

and just read them out and see if I can answer some of them.

This is a really good question.

I would love to see a segment on being an unmarried woman in your 30s with no kids and contemplating on it.

As a 31-year-old woman, I am struggling with this issue in my life.

So I guess in other words,

how do you navigate your life in your 30s unmarried with no kids?

It really depends on what you actually want out of life.

And I think this is why it's so important to take time to self-reflect.

There comes a point that once you get into your 30s,

you've had so much experience in life,

you can now look back and start identifying patterns,

whether it's thought patterns or behavior patterns.

The truth is you don't really know what you want out of life if you don't know yourself.

And this is why it's so important to do that self-work, the self-development work.

it's so important to take time to reflect,

to think about where you are in life right now and look back,

you know, observe some of the big decisions you've made in life and ask yourself,

was I present when I made these big life-changing decisions?

Is that something I wanted?

Was that something that other people wanted me to have?

And because you have to keep in mind,

there's going to be a moment where you're going to become aware of a lot of the belief system

that was placed onto you,

whether it's from family, religion,

culture, society, these belief systems,

they really do shape how you think,

how you make decisions in life.

It literally shapes your reality.

And so unless you truly know who you are,

what you truly want, and removing all that belief system,

going down to the core,

that's when you will know what you want out of life.

And so, you know, to answer your question,

how do you navigate your life in your 30s,

unmarried with no kids, it starts with yourself.

You have to go really deep on your own inner journey and really learn who you are,

finding yourself again, loving yourself again.

Once you're at that stage in life where you feel confident and you feel very much centered and at ease,

what I've personally seen and also a lot of my other close friends and family,

what they've seen is once you did all the healing,

the energy that you're at when you are truly radiating from your authentic self,

you start attracting people and opportunities and situations that match this new energy, this new frequency.

Because honestly, I can sense from the question,

there's a little bit of fear.

There's a little bit of judgment because it seems like the person who's asking this question is,

hey, there's something wrong with me because I'm in my 30s and I'm unmarried with no kids.

I sense a little bit of fear and self-judgment.

And oftentimes that self-judgment comes because when you care a lot about the opinions of what society thinks of you,

what family thinks of you and friends, you're literally judging yourself.

And I think until you do the work where you become aware of that judgment and you heal from it,

you remove it out of your thought patterns and all of that,

it's going to be easier to navigate through life

and you'll be more centered when you're making decisions whether you want to have kids

or whether you want to be in a long-term relationship where eventually you get married

but again like I said everyone is different you don't have

to live a life not everyone is meant to follow a blueprint in life

that someone else made you can also make your own blueprint

I truly believe as long as you're not you know intentionally hurting someone and there's consent do you and have fun.

How to deal with Asian generational trauma,

the constant feeling of unworthiness,

anxiety, fear, and pressure to succeed.

It's something that I've been struggling with my entire life and I can't seem to make any peace with any of it.

I kind of want to echo what I mentioned before,

which is unless you truly do your healing,

you truly become aware of the belief system that you have installed in your brain.

Because remember, all these ideologies,

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imagine

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they're like apps and you are the phone

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and you have all these apps that are installed in

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and they've been installed there from birth from childhood from teenagehood etc etc etc

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and some of them are kind of outdated just saying right

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some of them maybe they shouldn't be there maybe you had a traumatized parent

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that unknowingly passed on their traumas onto you imprinted that onto you so until you actually take time,

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go into solitude, really reflect on your life,

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reflect on the decisions, reflect on your relationships,

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reflect on everything, but don't judge yourself.

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So the key is reflect, but don't judge.

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Just observe what's happening.

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If you feel that judgment comes,

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make note of it because obviously it's a trigger.

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I'm a big believer in if something is triggering you,

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don't go into your safe space.

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Don't try to hide it.

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Don't try to like push it away,

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investigate it because there's something in your subconscious mind

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that is not healed and you're going to constantly get triggered by this thing

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which in a way it kind of controls your life i mean are you in control of your emotions

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or are your emotions in control of you that's kind of the question you have to ask yourself

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and so investigate your triggers investigate what

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that is don't judge it just observe it

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and become aware of it do the work everyone has different modalities and how they heal.

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And this is something we will go even deeper on in my Afterglow series.

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But it really starts with gaining awareness on your mind,

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gaining awareness on your decisions,

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gaining awareness on what is running your script in your brain.

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Because the whole unworthiness and anxiety and pressure to succeed,

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that's literally a program that was written by your parents or by your family members who are operating out of fear,

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who are operating out of lack.

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I find that when you tend to operate from a negative emotion,

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if you really think about it,

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oftentimes a lot of our Asian parents who immigrated to America, they're immigrants, right?

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They immigrated here because either it was war or something happened politically in their country where they just had to leave.

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Everyone has a different story, right?

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But something that I've observed with a lot of Asian immigrant parents is that when they came here,

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there's a lot of that unworthiness they brought to them because they feel like,

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well, first off, there's a fear of being in a new country,

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learning a new language.

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You know, they're going to face a lot of oppression.

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Whenever there's like immigrants, like they get treated a certain way.

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And so there's a little bit of that,

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or actually a lot of that.

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I need to prove myself.

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I need to show them that I'm just as good, just as capable.

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So you have that and you have fear and you have like lack.

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It's so sad because I love,

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I have so much love for immigrant parents

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and I actually forgive most of them and oftentimes

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if they are toxic or

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if they are very judgmental guilt-driven I've actually learned to not be mad at

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that I've learned to really forgive them because

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if you put yourself in their shoes if they're escaping war

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or political issues or anything right if if you put yourself in their shoes, it makes sense.

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Like they don't have access to the knowledge

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that we have today where we can watch videos of people like myself talking about traumas,

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talking about mental health, spiritual health.

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They didn't have access to that.

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And so we have to really forgive them.

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You lead by example.

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And for me, I always lead by love.

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I always meet people where they're at with love

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and not coming from a place of judgment or you should see a therapist or this or that,

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because a lot of Asian parents,

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if you say that T word,

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therapy, they literally still think going to therapy means you're crazy.

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When it comes to mental health in Asian culture,

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it's still very much stigmatized.

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But there's change.

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I see hope.

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I see a silver lining.

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I see light at the end of the tunnel.

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There's hope.

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But it really starts with you.

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It's going to be us,

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our generation, where we have to heal those generational traumas.

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And it starts with us.

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If we heal ourselves, we can at least stop it from passing on to the next generation.

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So I hope that answered your question.

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I know it was, I know that's a lot.

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This is a great question.

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Impact of social media on mental health and how to deal with it.

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Yeah, so there was an interesting study that showed eating disorders and depression in girls skyrocketed around 2010s.

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And if you think about it,

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around that time, Instagram came out.

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And I always tell people Instagram is kind of like the magazine of this new generation.

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Every account you go to, it's essentially a magazine.

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It's showing someone's lifestyle.

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It's showing their best moments in life.

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I mean, it's very natural for us to compare ourselves to other people,

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but especially women, especially girls.

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We are a little more sensitive about that because,

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you know, we want to feel like we belong.

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We want to be loved.

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We want to be accepted.

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We want to be validated.

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And oftentimes, if you don't have that inner love that's built in,

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you seek for it outside.

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You seek for it externally and social media became unfortunately that place

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that platform where people are constantly seeking external validation I'm not

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saying it's bad sometimes like in fact I built my whole career on social media

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and I discovered so many cool things because of social media

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but there's also an ugly truth to it too where it can become a breeding ground for insecurities

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and and anxiety and all of that.

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So for me, the best way to deal with it is really just, it's like anything.

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It's like any bad thing that you ingest or that you take.

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Just don't spend a lot of time on social media.

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That's what I do.

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I make sure I treat social media now like a job.

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I go in, I do my job and I exit and that's it.

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I don't really dwell.

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I don't doom scroll.

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So that's a big thing too,

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is become aware of the moment you're doom scrolling,

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just stop yourself because it's that dopamine hit that's happening.

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It's a chemical reaction happening in your brain where you just feel good, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.

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Just stop yourself and ask yourself, why am I scrolling?

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What is my intention?

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And that's going to be the key actually to everything is start with the why.

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Why am I going on social media?

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Am I going to see what my friends are up to?

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Am I going to be informed about the news?

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Am I going on to just find cool things?

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Another thing too is set a limit.

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I like setting a limit to like 10,

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15 minutes and that's it then if I do go on other platforms,

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I give myself a task.

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It's like, okay, I'm going to go on here because I need to find inspiration for this.

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So I have a goal.

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It's a destination, and I have a task,

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and I have a goal,

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and I go there, and I make sure that goal is met,

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and then I leave.

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So intention is going to be really,

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really important to establish before you go deep into social media and oftentimes get trapped in that doom scrolling.

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But I feel like now that social media has been around for the past 10 years,

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There's a lot more practices that are helping people reduce their screen time.

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I have a friend of mine who he purposely made his phone black and white.

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So it's boring.

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He doesn't spend a lot of time on social media or his phone,

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which is really smart.

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There's of course limits that you can set on your phone too.

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I mean, there's so many things that people are trying to do to combat this because we know it's not good.

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Like we know too much social media,

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too much of anything is not good.

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Too much air is bad for you.

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Too much water is bad for you.

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But not too much love.

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Okay, so next question is,

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what are your thoughts on situationships,

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friendships, love, and loving yourself?

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Ooh, that's a lot.

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Well, okay, situationships. Have fun.

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Just be aware, you know.

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Don't get too lost into it.

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Don't be attached to an outcome.

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I think the moment you become attached to an idea of how things should be or to an outcome,

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that's when you really screw yourself over and you set yourself up for disappointment.

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So to me, when it comes to situationships,

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it really feels like I'm trying this out.

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No attachment. Have fun.

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Friendships, it's the opposite.

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It's going to be really important to establish intention.

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For me, the foundation of a good friendship,

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it is about respect and shared values.

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If your friendship is not built on respect, it's pretty much doomed.

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It's like any relationship.

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Actually, in fact, any relationship that is not built on respect is going to be doomed.

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So respect is key to this.

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Thank you so much for the question.

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So I'm going to go ahead and just take you around with me.

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And we are getting ready for our lives.

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We're also going to make some content with Jane.

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Hi.

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Hi, Louisa.

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How are you?

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Hello.

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Seeing myself as a weeb.

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Yeah.

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Actually, everyone's a weeb here.

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A lot of this is from Haikyuu,

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which is my ultimate favorite anime of all time.

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But it's also a lot of fan art.

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This is Gojo and Nanami.

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We're doing a TikTok audio trend thing, right?

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What are we doing?

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TikTok audio trend.

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We're just making content.

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We're just having fun.

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What's your favorite color?

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Pink.

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Mine too!

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Isn't it okay great?

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Was your life traumatic?

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We're going to do this.

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Okay, so we just finished recording.

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Let's look at our masterpiece What's your favorite color?

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Ink Mine too!

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It's a favorite Was your life traumatic?

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Wait wait wait, okay, I'm starting over Okay,

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why are you laughing over here?

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Sang is trying to create a rate card for his like services

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and stuff He's trying to up his game as like a makeup artist, right?

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And I peek over his shoulder and I'm like, oh what you doing?

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He's like, oh I'm trying to make a rate card This man is using Keynote

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I have never seen someone use Keynote That's true

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And then I told him to I taught him about Canva and he's like oh my god

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Know what I what I tell you not he was like

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I just learned how to turn a photo from portrait mode to landscape

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And then he had a tab on Etsy to buy like a resume template I was like

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canva girlie i was i was so mood oh mood hello michelle's vlog this is crystal taking over

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michelle is currently filming on tick tock on her tick tock live you can tune in

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and follow her on tick tock

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and then you can shop exclusive deals some of these deals

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are wild like we are doing heavens glow for 19 crazy so we have the whole crew

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Shadowing Practice: Real Talk : Situationships, Self-Worth & Generational Trauma - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

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Why practice speaking with this video?

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What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing Practice: Real Talk : Situationships, Self-Worth & Generational Trauma - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

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Why practice speaking with this video?

Grammar & Expressions in Context

Common Pronunciation Traps

What is the Shadowing Technique?