Shadowing Practice: The Evolution of Molly & Josh | Couples Therapy - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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I'm trying to see if you can repeat what I have been asking for years.
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I could have been more present.
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I could have talked to you more about all the things that I was feeling, about the questions I was having.
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So why isn't that happening now?
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It is happening now.
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It hasn't happened for the past week.
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But we've been talking so much more deeply about everything for...
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It is happening.
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What do you mean it's not happening?
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Josh and I are at such an interesting place in our marriage.
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We've kind of done everything to each other
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or experienced everything in a marriage or relationship that you could to try and break it up.
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And we are still here.
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Okay.
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I feel like we're at a place where we're kind of done doing all of those things.
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But all of those things you've...
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Like all the things we could do to somehow... To test.
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Test, yes.
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That's the perfect word. To test.
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So we're here, but we did all that testing.
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So there's a lot of like...
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Scar tissue.
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So much scar tissue.
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Yeah.
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I mean, we can...
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I'm.. yeah.
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Do you want to jump in?
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No, I'm just feeling so nervous.
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I just feel a little nervous.
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Nervous sitting here?
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Yeah.
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But maybe say more specifically nervous about...
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I think you're afraid of me, A.
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And B, I think what you were just about to say.
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I think I'm afraid of...
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I think I get scared by what the truth might... Be.
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Be and cause to happen.
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You know, like the fall.
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Consequences.
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The consequence.
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How do you mean that?
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Both of us have had infidelities,
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and I think there's a lot of, like, anger still.
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Yeah.
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Say more about that.
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I think I'm waiting for Josh to openly discuss the pain, the paint, whatever emotions he has around it for himself.
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I think I have felt like, okay, well, now that stuff is in our past, so we're not supposed to talk about it anymore.
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And so I think that's... Because?
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You know, honestly, I think it's my worry about getting her upset.
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Mm-hmm.
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I don't like that answer.
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I don't know.
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So there's like a cover-up operation going on.
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Oh, yeah.
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I don't know.
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Oh, yeah, then I'm like, well, yeah, I want to say the thing that's going to make her feel better.
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Right.
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Is it the truth?
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I don't know if it's the truth.
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Maybe it is.
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Right, it becomes difficult to know what's going on.
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If it's going to make her feel better, then maybe I should just say that thing.
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No, I don't want to do this anymore.
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I don't want to make him feel like he's being masked or like he can't speak his truth.
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Right.
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I would like to know, finally, how angry he is.
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Mm-hmm.
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But there's also a part of me that worries if he actually allows himself to say what he really thinks,
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that it might be something that would make him actually really look
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and realize that he doesn't want to be married to me.
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I just want to heal this.
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I just want to heal this.
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Mm-hmm.
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We actually met here in the city.
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This is right after 9-11.
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We both got hired at the same company.
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And, you know, the first moment I saw her, I was, like, very into her.
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And, um, I asked her out a few times.
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I asked her out, I think within those first two weeks, that we were putting chairs away, and I was like, do you want to go get some coffee?
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And she did not.
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She turned me down.
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And then we were at a holiday party.
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We ended up, you know, there was wine at the party, and she was a little bit more talkative with me.
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Because we were flirting.
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And then we were, yeah, and then we were, like, flirting with each other.
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And then next thing you know, it's like four in the morning.
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We're at a deli eating, and just, that was it.
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What did you see in each other?
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You know, she's like, she has this light and energy and, like, she also is, like, really fiery.
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Those were my thoughts.
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And for you?
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Josh was, like, the first person who I felt really saw me and understood me.
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And he was just so, it still is, but so kind and so gentle and so calm.
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Like, he was the opposite of chaos.
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It felt calm.
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Yeah.
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And I felt, like, energized.
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Mm-hmm.
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I felt like, oh, I'm, like, alive.
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It's like life is happening.
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Mm-hmm.
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But that feels far away.
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Like, that was a lovely story, but there's a lot of shit.
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Mm-hmm.
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From there to here.
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Mm-hmm.
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And a lot of pain.
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Say more.
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You know, before we had my first, our first child, I had, like, a bunch of miscarriages. And...
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I think, for me, that's kind of where I got broke down. But yeah, that was...
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How did it go between the two of you, the miscarriage experience?
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For me, I felt very helpless.
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And it was...
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The feelings that she was having were unattainable.
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Like, I couldn't share in her suffering.
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And I can't believe...
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that I wasn't there for her in that time. Or where was I?
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Where was I?
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Maybe is a better way to say it.
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Where was I then?
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You couldn't experience sort of the level of loss that Molly was experiencing,
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so you were kind of left behind, and you were left alone.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And then when I got pregnant with our third child, Josh met someone and they became very, very close.
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And it came out that he was having an inappropriate relationship with her.
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And I was pregnant.
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That felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me.
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Half of me was like, I'm not going to have this baby to spite you.
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The other half of me was like, I have to save my family.
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I can't bring in another child because there's all this chaos going on and this is the right thing to do.
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And then it was extreme.
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I did it at home with a pill.
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It was very painful.
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And then the doctor gave me Percocet.
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And then I got addicted to Percocet.
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and I crashed my car in a tree a block away from our house.
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Like, it was just a terrible, terrible time.
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It just feels like so fucked up.
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I don't know.
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It's like we haven't really talked about it like this.
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We have not really talked about it.
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Let's.
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Well...
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I was so angry at Josh because I then had to go through losing a child again.
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Mm-hmm.
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Which was devastating and still is.
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And I feel so, like...
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dead.
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Yeah.
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First of all, Josh, where are you?
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I can't even believe that that happened in our life.
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Like, I can't believe it happened.
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Mm-hmm.
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Mm-hmm.
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Choices that I made daily for at least a little while,
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you know, directly led to a decision that we made to not have this child.
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Like, I just can't, I cannot, I can't wrap my brain around the fact that that actually happened.
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Can I just understand the choice that created the outcome is the relationship is the cause of the abortion.
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Yeah.
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That's how it lives between the two of you.
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Yeah.
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And then I was like crying out for help, you know what I mean, with the Percocet and...
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Then seeking someone who would hold fucking space for me outside of our marriage, but knowing that that wasn't right.
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But I just wanted someone to hold some space for me.
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I mean, this is the thing.
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It's like, how do we carry all this forward with us?
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Like, whether we have to carry it or whether we can leave it behind or what?
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How do we?
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That's how I feel.
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I'm like, what do we do with this stuff that we...
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In a way, at least part of what the two of you seem to be telling me with all these words, like, dead inside, can we carry it, do we leave it behind,
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I think there's part of it that has to do really with, like, the processing of all these, like, unborn babies.
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miscarried, aborted, where does it live inside you, between you, a future that didn't happen, a past?
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Yeah.
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After last week, the next day, I was in such a dark place. To tell?
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What kind of thoughts and...
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Um...
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I mean, that dead inside comment, like, the...
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It's more like, you know, the...
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Like, pulling the veil.
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Like, and just being like, oh, yeah, that.. that's.. that all is there.
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Mm-hmm.
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Yeah, I think we...
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I think both of us really had just...
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Like...
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Put that away.
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Like, we handled that well.
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Oh, right.
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Mm-hmm.
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I think that's how we've handled a lot of things, I'm realizing.
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We stuff it in a box together.
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And that's like our dealing with it.
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And then it goes up on the shelf or something like that.
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So let's hear some more.
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Let's open some of these.
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So when I was in high school, I had a relationship with a girl.
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I had never been in love.
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I had not had really any romantic relationships.
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And I would say that this was my first one.
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It was just like the whole world was open and it was just a magical experience.
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Two years ago, one year ago.
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Year and a half at this point.
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I discovered that she was living very close to us in New York City.
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So we went out to dinner.
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We had not seen or spoken to each other since...
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Since high school.
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Yes.
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It's kind of like she came into my life again when I was also having, like, a midlife crisis.
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I remember, like, a year ago, I started to feel like, who am I?
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Like, what am I more than just a mother, a wife?
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Like, is this my life?
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Is this all there is?
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Like, you know, just those kinds of questions.
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and being around her was just like being 17 again.
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Exactly.
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So it turned back into a physical thing.
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What about it made you feel 17 again?
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I felt so alive around her last year, feeling so, like, young again and free.
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And before she emerged, Molly was saying to me that she was feeling very trapped,
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very confined by the parameters of our marriage.
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What was going on both for you, Molly, and between the two of you?
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A yoga student that I had had an emotional relationship with,
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he had come to New York and I had seen him and nothing was going on,
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but what it did was it recreated this thing where Josh started to feel very untrusting
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and asking me all the time and- Asking things like- Are you talking to him?
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And that was starting to make me feel like crazy.
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And I was just desperate to like get out somewhere else and laugh.
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And then here comes this woman that made me feel alive.
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What was going on for you at the time when you were preoccupied with that glory?
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So the woman was like a flash in the pit, this very like kind of quick thing that happened.
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Two or three months it lasted.
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This other sort of long-term emotional connection that she had to this former student of hers, it lasted kind of a long time.
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And I kept saying, please don't even talk to him.
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And you refused.
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You refused to do that.
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Hold on.
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Molly, I'm going to ask you not to speak.
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You did.
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Because I need to be able to understand.
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It happened to come.
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OK.
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Keep going.
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Yeah, I mean, I would say, like, please don't.
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OK, I won't.
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And then three months later, this person would come back up again.
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That's a year ago.
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I have to trust her.
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But I don't know.
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I just felt like where she was, she was feeling so confined, so like trapped i just was so worried that
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if i made some kind of ultimatum or i held on too tightly
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that she would leave she would leave
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so i thought i'm just gonna i'm gonna ride this out
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i'm gonna be here i'm gonna be present i'm gonna try
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and be as present as i can i don't know i just wanted to to hold on.
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But in the meantime, it just created more anger.
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I do think that a lot of this would be different if he had been able to express himself,
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whether it's happy or sad or angry or insecure.
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I just want him to talk to me.
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Can I ask you, can you talk a little bit about your history?
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Sure.
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I grew up in Connecticut until I was about 10.
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You know, we went to church, we had the red door and the white house, and like all, you know what I mean? were like the picket fence like we didn't actually have a picket fence
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but like it was like that kind of like out of a
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and um my mom met somebody that she worked with
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and they fell in love at what point i was eight
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and the affair lasted for about a year
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and a half i think my dad found out about it at some point
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and confronted her over the course of the next year my mom was gone a lot at night, she would come home late.
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It seemed, I don't know if she did, but in my memory, she was always gone.
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We had this bay window in the front of the house and this big curtain that closed and then the carpet.
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And you could, and I could climb out onto the bay window and sit behind that curtain.
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And so I would, that was like my spot, kind of waiting for my mom to come home.
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This is the image that I have.
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My sister upstairs on the phone, she's in junior high.
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I'm sitting in the bay window.
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My dad's at the dinner table with the cold dinner, waiting for my mom to come home.
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Whoa.
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His father had said that he will go to his grave,
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shaking his head and not understand and just not knowing how that happened.
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What do you mean?
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Like I think he couldn't believe that she would leave him.
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So I think it's his own, I think a little bit of his own ego.
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I think he couldn't see his part that he had maybe not given her what she really needed,
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what she was longing for.
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What are you thinking?
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I mean...
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Which of course is ironic because here Molly's asking for what she really needs and I'm having a hard time potentially causing...
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But the two of you are living with that script in the background.
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Conflict leads to like the ultimate breakup.
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An abandonment.
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Yeah.
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I don't know, the notion of like sitting in that window.
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Like, when I think about that kid, I'm like...
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Like, I identify with characters in stories that...
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that are good at hiding to survive.
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Like, kids, like, the kids...
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Behind the curtain.
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Yeah, sure.
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Kids in the story who...
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hide from the monster instead of fight it.
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Mm-hmm.
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It's upsetting, but it also seems relevant to something between the two of you. Do you hear that?
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I do think that when I was spending time with other people, I do feel like he was...
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Waiting behind the curtain.
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Yeah.
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For sure, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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We talked about if we should have a third child or not.
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Mm-hmm.
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Who was saying what?
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I was saying I wanted to.
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He was ambivalent, but as we've talked about it further,
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was afraid to tell me no or afraid to say, we need more time to think about it.
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He just didn't make a choice.
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Wait, what's...
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Tell me your version of the story.
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Well, this also is when I...
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This is when I first got emotionally involved with this person, about eight years ago.
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I think at that time I was very confused about a lot of things,
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and I've always worried about keeping you happy.
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I think probably at the time I knew it was something that was important to you.
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So it didn't feel like my question mark about it was stronger than how you were feeling.
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The one thing that I have asked for in our marriage
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that I have said will make me happy is to talk with me about what he wants
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or what he thinks so that we can do things together.
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I just want him to include me in his questions.
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I don't need him to make a decision.
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I just want to be included.
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But what you're asking for happens to be both difficult for Josh but also...
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But then he shouldn't have stayed in this marriage in the first place because I've been asking for it from the beginning.
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Right, but the solution to that in your mind is for Josh to...
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I don't know what the solution is.
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I need to have...
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I want...
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I'm trying to talk to you.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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So you have a very clear, intense idea about what you need,
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which is to say you want there not to be kind of a side stream where Josh lives separately,
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maybe in a somewhat vague state while trying to make you happy.
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But the solution is not simply getting what you need.
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The solution has partially to do with you understanding how the intensity of your ask
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is affecting the field between the two of you.
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But when will it become a conversation of,
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OK, well, but you have to look at the way that Molly engages in conversation or what she needs?
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You know, I just feel like...
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Meaning that you're being asked to adjust to Josh's rhythm.
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Yes.
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But you don't feel like Josh is getting any kind of pressure to adjust to yours.
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Yes.
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I do not know if Josh feels this feeling that he needs to make changes.
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And the unfortunate thing is the way that I have chosen to scream and yell at him,
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yell at him that he needs to do some fucking work himself has been by having my own relations with other people.
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It's like my way of screaming at the top of my lungs.
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But the fact that you think that I haven't done anything, that I haven't done any work or grown at all, first of all, like- But I have asked repeatedly the same thing.
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And every single time we get to sit on a couch
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and I need to understand who you are and how you're sensitive and this and that.
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That's not true.
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And it's not a fair statement.
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Can I interrupt?
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Because what I feel like I'm doing with the two of
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you right now is actually putting pressure on Josh to articulate yourself much more clearly and to understand how you're thriving
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by relying on Molly's intensity.
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I guarantee you he does not see it that way.
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And until you just said that, he did not realize that you were putting pressure on him to think that.
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I guarantee you.
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He is thinking, okay, she understands me.
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She really sees my authentic self and my authentic self is who I am.
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And to change that would be unauthentic.
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She's not asking me to look at that and change it.
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She's really understanding it.
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And now I get to say, see, this is who I am.
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It's hard for me to make choices or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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And I'm not supposed to not be my authentic self.
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Guarantee it.
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Would you like to respond to that?
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Is that what's going on?
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No. No. It seemed very clear to me at the beginning that as you were pressuring, asking Molly not to talk,
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and continuing to ask me to go to try and figure out what was going on.
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Granted, this is something that happened eight years ago, And since then, we've made a lot of tough choices together as a couple.
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Together, we've made choices.
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Josh, I was in a relationship for five years with someone else.
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And a year and a half ago, I was in a relationship with an ex-girlfriend.
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I am still screaming.
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Yeah, but fuck that.
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Fuck that to say that, like, I mean, the way you're just saying it is, like, if I had done something, you wouldn't have done those things.
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That's not what I'm saying.
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And that somehow if I had just gotten it right...
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No, I'm not...
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...you wouldn't have done those things.
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That's exactly what it sounds like.
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It's not about getting it right.
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There's not a right...
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I'm screaming at you to do what I'm asking you to do.
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Do it the way I want you to do it.
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What am I asking you to do?
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Really?
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Is this really an interrogation?
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Is that how we're gonna do it?
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I'm not.
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No, Josh, I'm not.
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Where you're saying...
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Josh, I'm not interrogating...
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I'm not interrogating...
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...answer that you're hoping for?
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I'm not interrogating you.
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I'm trying to see if you hear.
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It feels like it.
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I'm trying to see if you can repeat what I have been asking for years.
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I could have been more present.
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I could have talked to you more about all the things that I was feeling, about the questions I was having.
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So why isn't that happening now?
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It is happening now.
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It hasn't happened for the past week, but we've been talking so much more deeply for, it is happening.
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What do you mean it's not happening?
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I am like so bothered right now that you're sitting there like
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that with this attitude that like I am being ridiculous and interrogating you when all I am saying to you is,
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I don't think that you have been doing the work that you say you have.
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When we left here last time, we did not speak the entire way home.
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Yeah.
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We didn't speak for the rest of that evening or really the next day.
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Yeah.
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I was freaking out.
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I was just freaking out.
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And I was freaking out
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because I think what happened is all I could think was the sensational nature of the stuff we were talking about. Of course.
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And you know, part of the anxiety might also be related to the kind of anxiety one would always feel in treatment, right?
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Because you're always in a way putting yourself out there, which is often overwhelming, right?
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And part of what moves the process,
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and part of what gets people out of their stuckness is like involving a third person and another perspective.
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Josh, did you have a particular moment in the session that you found
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either particularly difficult or alarming or transformative or something that you were responding to?
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It's a little blurry, honestly, for me.
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Like, it's almost like the drive home is the thing that's so vivid in my mind.
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What about it?
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Um, the, like, I'm trying to be poetic here,
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but the, like, the really loud silence.
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It felt thick and, like, oppressive.
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Like, I could feel the space that was living between us, you know?
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And I didn't work on my argument in my head that I was going to make to you, which I do a lot.
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I write the script.
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Oftentimes I don't even say it.
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Yes, yes, and that's why, oh my gosh, and that's why it felt comfortable for me to be silent,
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because I also didn't feel like I had to...
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You weren't continuing a silent conversation.
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And I didn't feel like I had to say, honey, are you okay?
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I didn't feel that way.
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Mm-hmm.
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And so it was very freeing.
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Mm-hmm.
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I found that car ride very hopeless, sad, and comfortable, strangely.
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It just felt like there was nothing to talk about in that moment.
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It was just like, okay, this is where we are, period.
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But I have a feeling also that maybe in that moment you were in despair.
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that that's what Josh brings, and it will not necessarily change.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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That you have to find a different way of arranging yourself.
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Yes.
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Yeah, I mean, that's kind of the hopelessness, right, is that...
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I don't want to use the word settle, because I don't like that word.
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I think it's the word...
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Accept.
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He may never change.
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I know that.
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But I only have one chance at life.
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Should I be accept?
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Like, shouldn't I be getting everything that I want?
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You know what's so amazing?
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Is the passage of time.
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Right?
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Like, especially with what my daughters are going through.
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They don't need me as much.
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I've been spending so much time feeling angry about the passage of time.
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But today when I woke up and it was like a new day, I felt so grateful for the passage of time.
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And that, again, nothing lasts forever.
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In yoga, they call it aparigraha, which means non-grasping or non-hoarding.
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And not just necessarily physical things, but also hoarding time.
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That's my insight for the day.
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I have some associations to what you're saying, but I want to hear where the two of you are with the passage of time.
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Just feeling more on the side of the exhale.
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I feel like I've been living at the top of it, like holding my breath.
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Yeah, that image of like a frayed electrical wire.
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But now, you know, I can't help but think about what I didn't understand, which is that by emotionally withholding, I have a part in this too.
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Because I think in the past, I have mostly walked away feeling indignant and feeling like,
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you know, the nice guy who's misunderstood by his wife.
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There it is.
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That's it. That is...
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That's how I feel.
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I'm not having that way today.
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I have needed that t-shirt for years.
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Yes!
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Yeah, so I was thinking when you were talking about Aparigraha, I started to think about asteia, which is like... About what?
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So another word is asteia, which means non-stealing.
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Which could also refer to not just things, of course, but energy, time.
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I think the grasping and stealing is very good.
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You grasp, you see.
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Yeah, and sometimes I'm stealing her time when I'm not even in her presence because of what I've done to cause the, you know, to cause that cycle to play out.
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I don't know like, wrap some sort of button and bow on anything at all.
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I just, that's sort of...
503
But you're, you're, first of all, I very much appreciate what you're saying.
504
I'm sure it's very meaningful for you to hear that.
505
You're each doing real good work together.
506
So that's yours.
507
I think that's where I...
508
That's where I'm so different than the first time we sat here when I wanted to run away from this whole thing.
509
Yeah.
510
So how are the two of you feeling about, indeed, the stuff you brought up from, like, way back in your past?
511
It's funny, because even though things are not really worked out,
512
I still feel relaxed and in a more peaceful place. And you?
513
I feel much lighter.
514
It feels like it's time.
515
To me, I feel like, okay, I don't have to keep carrying this around anymore.
516
Mm-hmm.
517
I need to remember that shit can get pretty bad in life.
518
And the lesson now is,
519
like, you do what you have to do to face it and say it out loud and talk about it and say,
520
this is our life.
521
Look. And look.
522
Look, everybody.
523
This is my life.
524
This is our life.
525
You know?
526
What am I going to say?
527
You think I'm this really wonderful, nice husband?
528
Well, I am.
529
But I'm also all these other things.
530
And so is Molly.
531
Molly is this person that you think she is.
532
And that makes up our story.
533
You know?
534
And I love our story.
535
I don't think we should say anything else.
536
Thank you.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “The Evolution of Molly & Josh”. This video has 536 sentences and 4767 words to shadow. The speech runs for 35:53. The speaker talks at a steady 133 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| interrogate verb | /ɪnˈtɛɹəɡeɪt/ | To question or quiz, especially in a thorough or aggressive manner. |
| curtain noun | /ˈkɜɹt(ə)n/ | A piece of cloth covering a window, bed, etc. to offer privacy and keep out light. |
| scream verb | /skɹiːm/ | To cry out with a shrill voice; to utter a sudden, sharp outcry, or shrill, loud cry, as in fright or extreme pain; to screech, to shriek. |
| grasp verb | /ɡɹæsp/ | To grip; to take hold, particularly with the hand. |
| authentic adjective | /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/ | Of the same origin as claimed; genuine. |
| aparigraha noun | The Jainist principle of greedlessness, or not having unnecessary possessions. | |
| confine verb | /ˈkɑnfaɪn/ | To restrict (someone or something) to a particular scope or area; to keep in or within certain bounds. |
| hoard verb | /hɔɹd/ | To amass, usually for one's own private collection. |
| miscarriage noun | /ˈmɪs.kæɹ.əd͡ʒ/ | A failure; a mistake or error. |
| picket noun | /ˈpɪkɪt/ | A stake driven into the ground. |
| flirt verb | /flɚt/ | To throw (something) with a jerk or sudden movement; to fling. |
| scar noun | /skɑɹ/ | A permanent mark on the skin, sometimes caused by the healing of a wound. |
| yell verb | /jɛl/ | To shout; holler; make a loud sound with the voice, especially to express intense emotions such as anger or excitement. |
| emotionally adverb | /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/ | In an emotional manner; displaying emotion. |
| consequence noun | /ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/ | An effect; something that follows a cause as a result. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. | |
| break down verb | To stop functioning. | |
| come out verb | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | To be discovered; to be revealed. |
| cover up verb | To conceal or disguise. | |
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. | |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. | |
| get out verb | To leave or escape. | |
| leave behind verb | To abandon. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- What do you mean it's not happening?
- Do you want to jump in?
- Is that how we're gonna do it?
- You know what's so amazing?
- You think I'm this really wonderful, nice husband?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | have been asking · we've been talking · I've been asking |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | hasn't happened · have felt · haven't really talked |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | being masked · were left · had been pulled |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | person who I · someone who would · there, which is |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 143 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, unauthentic /ˌʌnɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, withhold /wɪθˈhoʊld/, thrive /θɹajv/, rhythm /ˈɹɪð.əm/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, sensational /sɛnˈseɪʃənəl/, interrogation /ɪnˌteɹ.əˈɡeɪ.ʃən/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, shelf /ʃɛlf/
- Long words — get the stress right: interrogate /ɪnˈtɛɹəɡeɪt/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, intensity /ɪnˈtɛnsɪti/, abandonment /əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/, ambivalent /æmˈbɪv.ə.lənt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like interrogate, curtain, scream.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.