Shadowing Practice: The Reality Of Dealing With One-Sided People … - Learn English Speaking with Video
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So I'm just sitting back to myself thinking today, it is a whole lot of people out here that just don't want relationships anymore.
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It's a whole lot of people out here that just don't want relationships.
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They won't have nothing to do with it.
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Now, they want the benefits of being in a relationship.
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They want somebody that's going to help pay the bills.
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They want somebody that's going to help raise the kids.
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They want somebody that's going to support them financially, emotionally, physically.
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they want somebody that they can depend on when life gets tough when life get hard
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they want somebody there that they can fall back on right
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but when it comes to the point where it's time to reciprocate all of a sudden it's a problem
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when it comes time to to reciprocate
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that same energy all of a sudden it's a problem you got grown men and grown women out here right
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they don't even know where they stand in a relationship with the same person that they sleeping next to every night.
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They don't even know where their relationship stand.
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You got to think about that.
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You sleep next to this person every day.
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You share in the same house.
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You split the responsibilities.
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Sometimes one has more responsibilities than the other because a lot of these people like to drain the other person.
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But just think about it.
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You sleeping next to this person every day.
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Y 'all doing everything together.
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You got all the benefits of a relationship, but you still don't know where y 'all stand.
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You still don't know where y 'all stand.
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And you might have invested about, what, 10, 15, 20 years, right?
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You got all this time invested with this person, and you still don't know where you stand.
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You can't even sit down with this individual.
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You can't even sit down and have an honest conversation about where the relationship stands.
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Y 'all can't even sit down and have an adult conversation about exactly where y 'all stand, exactly where y 'all are going.
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Y 'all can't talk about future goals.
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You can't talk about anything to this person because every time you try to communicate, this person will shut down, they deflect, they get defensive,
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and then they turn everything around on you.
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They will turn everything around on you.
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And now you be sitting there, now you are emotionally unsettled,
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wondering whether this person genuinely loves you or whether they just love what you provide.
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You are sitting there thinking, do this person really love me?
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Or do they just love the lifestyle?
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Do they just love the resources?
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Do they just love the benefits that I provide?
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Do they just love the stability?
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Do they love me as an individual?
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Or do they just love everything that I bring to the table?
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You know, in today's world we live in, you have a lot of people.
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Fellas, you can relate to this.
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You can ask a woman, so what do you bring to the table?
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They are so full of themselves, so self -centered, they would tell you that they are the table.
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And nine times out of ten, that table that they're speaking of is unstable.
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One of the legs probably loose.
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You feel me?
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It's unbalanced.
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Their mental is unbalanced.
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They don't know how to express themselves.
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They don't know how to hold conversations.
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They don't know how to articulate how they feel.
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They don't care about how you feel.
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They only care about what you bring to the table.
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and they just want to come and sit at your table and snatch all your benefits,
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snatch all your resources, snatch all your time, snatch all your energy.
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They don't care about how you feel in the process of all that and vice versa.
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Ladies, you can ask a man what he brings to the table and it's the same thing.
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Sometimes he don't bring anything.
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He think he can bring S -E -X and that's supposed to satisfy everything.
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That's supposed to keep the relationship alive.
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and it's more to it than just that you know people lack basic fundamentals
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when it comes to relationships they don't have the basic fundamentals you know
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when i say basic fundamentals i'm talking about communication honesty humility empathy
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you understand like real love like unconditional a lot of people love these days come with conditions
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it's based on what have you done for me lately?
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What can you do for me?
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How can I benefit off of you?
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How can you elevate me when we should come in elevating each other?
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A lot of people will only attach themselves to you based on what you have, what you drive, where you living at, based on the status.
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And a lot of times, you're only there as a placeholder until they find something else bigger and better.
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And when you're in these relationships, you find that you lack everything that you need.
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And these people will have you yearning for all the pieces of a relationship that you're missing.
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You will yearn for communication.
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You will yearn for intimacy.
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You will yearn for honest conversations.
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Just honest conversations.
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A lot of y 'all have to take accountability for this, though, because you see the red flags.
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You see that something is off with these individuals, but yet and still you say, this is something I can work with.
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We can work around that because based on how somebody look or based on what they present.
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And you will go in and be a couple months in, still seeing red flags.
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Then a couple months turn into a couple years.
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You still seeing the red flags.
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You still lacking here.
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You still lacking there.
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Then years come in, decades come in, and you have wasted so much time pouring into an individual and you got holes everywhere in yourself.
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You would find yourself pouring into an individual all these years, but yet you got holes in yourself everywhere.
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And they can't even feel those holes.
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You would feel they cup.
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They cup is overflowing.
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And you're depleted now from all this time, all this effort, all these years, and all this energy you have exerted into an individual.
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You know, a lot of people have gotten so comfortable receiving that they have forgotten what it means to give.
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They want your time.
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They want your resources.
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They want your energy.
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They want your loyalty, right? But where's the empathy?
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Where's the affection?
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Where's the communication?
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Where's the accountability?
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A lot of these individuals lack accountability.
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Basic fundamentals.
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Where's the actual relationship?
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Because at some point, we have to ask ourselves whether we're building something together
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or whether one person is simply benefiting from another person's presence.
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I mean, this is basic fundamentals.
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Even in basketball, you have to learn basic fundamentals.
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You know, basketball, we have to learn how to dribble.
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We have to learn how to lay up.
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We have to learn how to do the three -man weave.
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We run drills.
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all that to become a better person a better version of a player right
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but you got people that treat relationships just like basketball they think you can just come in
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and slam dunk without learning basic fundamentals
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they they they got the eyes on the ultimate prize on a grand prize
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which is the championship but they don't want to put the work in to get to that
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And this is how a lot of relationships are.
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They want the grand prize, but refuse to put in the work to get there.
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People want the look of the, they want the wedding, they want the ring, they want the power couple look, the family dynamic.
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They want the cars in the driveway.
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They want the white picket fence around the house.
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They want the trips, the vacations.
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They want all this stuff, the benefits, but they refuse to put the work in, in the in -between.
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We have to realize that some people don't want to build life with you.
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They just want you to finance the life that they're building for themselves.
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This is why you have a lot of people with separate accounts
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that will just put money to the side and build up, planning a great escape.
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You understand?
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It's sad when you look at people
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and you look at the person you love and you pour so much love into this individual, but you look them in their eyes.
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It is barely a soul.
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There's barely no love.
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The essence of love is just gone.
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The essence of empathy is gone.
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The essence of humility is just gone.
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When you look into this person's eyes, the eyes tell a lot about an individual.
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You can tell when somebody don't care.
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You can tell when there's truly no connection there.
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But a lot of people still hold on to hope that eventually it'll get better.
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And it never will.
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It never will.
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You'll put yourself in a state of depression and a state of disappointment, hanging on to hope that things will get better.
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Maybe this will be the month that she finally sees my worth.
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Maybe this will be the year that he finally sees me for me. And it never happens.
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A lot of these people don't truly know what it is that they want.
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It's just a big act.
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People have grown up watching too much
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Lifetime movies, too many Tyler Perry movies, too many of the reality TV shows.
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And they play this out in their real life, watching all the TikTok stuff.
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And they're influenced by all these.
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these outside things and think that that applies to their relationship
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and everybody's relationship is their relationship it's not going to be it's not no universal code to a relationship
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but basic fundamentals are communication empathy honesty humility reciprocation unconditional love not love with conditions
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you will waste so much time trying to pull something out of a distant partner you know in these relationships
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people use one incident or one shortcoming one bad day and use that and weaponize it against you
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they will say this is the reason why we haven't grown
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this is the reason why I'm not intimate with you
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but they still expect for you to do everything and provide all the benefits to the relationship.
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You will go above and beyond to prove yourself to an individual,
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and that individual will turn around and give you their ass to kiss each and every time.
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Each and every time.
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It's like your partner isn't supposed to be your opponent.
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That person you choose to build with, that person you choose to grow with,
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that person you choose to love, that's not your opponent you all are teammates
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y 'all teammates what's that old saying teamwork makes the dream work
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but you got a lot of people that constantly fight
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that constantly fight the very person that's in their life with good intentions the person that's really loving on that person
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that's poor they will fight them and a lot of times they don't even apologize for how they treat you
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they refuse to learn how to apologize right it's almost like
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they don't want to learn how to love somebody in a way
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that makes that person feel valued they refuse to love that person
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they refuse to make them feel valued they go above and beyond to make you feel
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undervalued
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underappreciated you know we have to learn how to choose our battles
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we have to learn how to stop trying to give life to a dead situation.
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We have to learn how to love ourself more.
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We do indeed.
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We have to learn how to love on ourselves a lot more.
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We put ourselves through unnecessary torment and unnecessary drama by continuously loving somebody that is nothing but truly a liability.
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These people are a liability.
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There's no growth potential.
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It's just a bunch of liabilities wrapped up in one person.
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Wrapped up in one person.
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These people will play this role.
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It's all acting.
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They cosplaying this entire time with you.
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Waiting for the moment that something else better comes
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or waiting on a moment that you fall over
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and they will take the benefits and put them benefits into something younger and better.
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You understand?
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So just be alert, keep your head on the swivel, and learn when enough is enough.
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Let me know what y 'all think about this video.
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Like, comment, subscribe.
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This is Deontay.
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I appreciate y 'all.
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I love y 'all.
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God bless.
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I'm out.
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Peace.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “The Reality Of Dealing With One-Sided People …”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: relationship, individual, learn, somebody, benefit. This video has 200 sentences and 2123 words to shadow. The speech runs for 13:44. The speaker talks at a natural 155 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 89% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| fundamental adjective | /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/ | Related to a foundation, base, or basis; serving as a foundation. |
| refuse verb | /ɹɪˈfjuːz/ | To decline (a request or demand). |
| empathy noun | /ˈɛmpəθi/ | Identification with or understanding of the thoughts, feelings, or emotional state of another person. |
| snatch verb | /snæt͡ʃ/ | To grasp and remove quickly. |
| resource noun | /ɹɪˈzɔːs/ | Something that one uses to achieve an objective, e.g. raw materials or personnel. |
| liability noun | /laɪəˈbɪlɪti/ | An obligation, debt or responsibility owed to someone. |
| pour verb | /poɹ/ | To cause (liquid, or liquid-like substance) to flow in a stream, either out of a container or into it. |
| essence noun | /ˈɛsəns/ | The inherent nature of a thing or idea. |
| accountability noun | /əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ə.ti/ | The state of being accountable; liability to be called on to render an account or give an explanation; liability to be held responsible or answerable for… |
| humility noun | /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/ | The characteristic of being humble; humbleness in character and behavior. |
| sudden adjective | /ˈsʌd.ən/ | Occurring quickly with little or no warning or expectation; instantly. |
| invest verb | /ɪnˈvɛst/ | To spend money, time, or energy on something, especially for some benefit or purpose; used with in. |
| opponent noun | /əˈpəʊ.nənt/ | One who opposes another; one who works or takes a position against someone or something; one who attempts to stop the progress of someone or something. |
| wrap verb | /ɹæp/ | To enclose (an object) completely in any flexible, thin material such as fabric or paper. |
| unnecessary adjective | /ʌnˈnɛs.əˌsɛɹ.i/ | Not needed or necessary. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| sit down verb | To assume a sitting position from a standing position. |
| build up verb | To erect; to construct. |
| fall back on verb | To turn to as a substitute; to rely on as a backup. |
| fall over verb | To fall from an upright or standing position to a horizontal or prone position. |
| grow up verb | To mature and become an adult. |
| lay up verb | To store; to put by. |
| shut down verb | To close, terminate, or end; to stop operating, either permanently or temporarily. |
| turn around verb | To physically rotate (usually around a vertical axis) for a half turn (180 degrees), a whole turn (360 degrees), or an indefinite amount. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- You still don't know where y 'all stand.
- Do they just love the benefits that I provide?
- Do they love me as an individual?
- What can you do for me?
- How can I benefit off of you?
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 43 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, can't, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, vacation /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/, intentions /ɪnˈtɛnʃənz/, affection /əˈfɛk.ʃən/, unconditional /ˌʌnkənˈdɪʃənəl/
- Long words — get the stress right: fundamental /ˌfʌn.dəˈmɛn.təl/, liability /laɪəˈbɪlɪti/, accountability /əˌkaʊn.təˈbɪl.ə.ti/, humility /hjuːˈmɪlɪti/, unnecessary /ʌnˈnɛs.əˌsɛɹ.i/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like fundamental, refuse, empathy.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.