Shadowing Practice: Why She Chose Excitement Over Stability - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Sometimes people don't leave because they're unhappy.
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Some people leave out of boredom.
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People will leave out of boredom.
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And speaking from a man's point of view, I've seen this happen to a lot of good brothers out there where they've had a woman
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that chose to leave a stable home, leave the family, leave stability,
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to chase excitement, to go on this newfound journey of of independence.
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They will say things as if they want to start a new chapter, a new journey in their life.
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And the man that they've been with for years, the man that has provided stability,
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a man that has provided everything he's supposed to do for his family that's been there, that's been supportive, that's been the backbone, that's been there for her.
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She will say
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that she's outgrown him leaving this man hurt leaving this man
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just questioning himself like where did he go wrong what did he do all
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because she came to this to this epiphany in her life that
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she's just going to all of a sudden see what was
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out there see how it feels to be independent see how
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it feels to start on her own to do things on her own
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because she feels like he's been doing everything for her
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and maybe she's just outgrown him um they make up things like uh he's not emotionally available uh he's controlling
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and i'm trying to break these chains of control
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but all in all that man was there providing safety providing stability providing security all the things
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that women say they want all the things they say they desire this man provided that
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But she chose to throw it all away to pursue happiness or excitement out there.
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And I see this story play out time and time again where I've seen people be in long -term relationships for years.
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They didn't have kids, invested so much into each other.
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Well, typically the man had invested a lot into her, where I've seen men invest so much and they do everything they can to hold the family together.
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They do everything they can to fight for the relationship and fight to keep everything together.
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And she's so stuck in her ways that she just don't want it.
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She don't desire it.
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Nothing you can say would change her mind because she is so focused on this newfound journey of independence, this excitement.
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And part of it is because nine times out of ten, they've found another man.
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They've seen something they like.
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Somebody that caught their eye.
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Social media, their social media has been blowing up.
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They're on their TikToks, putting all this energy out there for the world to see, for these thirsty men to see.
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And one of these men have caught her eye.
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And what I've seen is that one situation I know of,
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a woman was willing to risk her whole family for a weekend of excitement, a weekend of fun, what she thought would be fun.
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But see, it might be fun in that moment because they are doing something.
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It's a thrill -seeking thing.
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She's seeking a thrill.
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She was seeking a thrill being out there, no responsibility of kids, no responsibility to her her man blocked her man blocked him from calling
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and everything all this for a weekend one weekend
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and this man had to sit back wondering if she was okay first and foremost if she was okay
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and wondering what's going on why am i blocked then he thought about it it's somebody else
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because this wasn't the first time and it was probably that person that was in a picture
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the first time this all happened but this time was an extended weekend
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that they spent together
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and all he could think about is man what's going on why is she doing this to me
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and I've done everything for her I've invested years investment
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and the return favor he got was being blocked while she spends a weekend with a man.
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I mean, just didn't care about the consequences, didn't care about, okay, if he's going to leave, if I don't care about how it's going to affect our kids, our family, and everything.
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We worked hard to build together.
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Didn't care because she chose to chase excitement.
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And I see this a lot in our society where a lot of women will go out here and chase something,
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chasing validation from the outside when all the validation is at home.
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The man that's making sure food is on the table, making sure the lights, the light bill is paid, making sure the car insurance is paid,
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making sure health insurance is intact, making sure everything is stable.
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A man is praying for his family, taking care of the kids, tucking the kids in the bed at night.
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Some women are willing to risk that all to chase something.
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But that something is just something temporary because nine times out of ten, this man is just looking to get a wet tip.
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just to get his rocks off and go on about his day
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and sometimes these men be having situations they be married they
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have a girlfriend some of them have newborn babies newborn kids kids a whole family whole situation going on
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but these women and men they're willing to risk it all for one weekend or just some excitement and what happens is
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the whole situation would get destroyed family get destroyed everything is
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messed up the trust is out the window communication is dead
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the trust once trust is gone it's it's really hard to recover in a relationship
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so once the trust is gone everything is is destroyed everybody gonna go their own way
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and you have some men
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that are just hell bent on working a situation out after a woman has shown you
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that everything that y 'all have built everything y 'all worked for has been in vain
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and now the kids gotta probably either go with mom
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or go with dad and live in separate households from from both parents
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and you got one parent that's that's fighting for uh the
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relationship to stay to keep the kids under one roof
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and a lot of people a lot of themselves convinced themselves
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like i'm only staying for the kids i'm staying for the kids we got to work out for the kids
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but staying in these situations only hurts the kids it hinders the kids from a lot
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you know it creates trauma but all this because this woman chose excitement over stability
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excitement over stability but what happens is six months down the line a year down the line
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or years later when they find out there's nothing out there when they they keep coming across a broke guys or, or guys, this is out for one thing.
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They will remember that man that held it down.
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They will remember that man that was actually there for them with no hidden agendas there, just there, just wanting to love on them in a proper way.
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And they will try to come back.
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They will try to come back to that safe space.
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Sometimes men will entertain the thought and give it a second go.
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But a lot of men ain't really on that.
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because at this point, you're torn as good.
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You'd have been out here, you'd have did all this, you'd have put all this effort into that, but refused to put effort into what we had going on at home.
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They would go out here and pursue something and build something
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and present themselves as something that every man wants and just be this perfect woman for this new guy.
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But the man at home, they deprive him of all that.
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They give him the hardest time around, move the goalposts, constant moving the goalposts,
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constant creating standards that is basically just unattainable for this man.
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Because every time he achieves one thing, say, oh, yeah, I need you to be here for me more than just talk to me.
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He do that.
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Well, I still have my wall built up.
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And it's funny when they say they have a wall built up.
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but somehow the money makes it over that wall the finances makes it over
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that wall the stability that they have makes it over all this stuff
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that comes with this man it somehow that wall ain't that
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that high fit for him to meet but everything else
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when it comes to like intimacy when it comes to um passion
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when it comes to compassion when it comes to um physical contact
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that wall is built up all of a sudden they still don't trust them
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or they they create these sick little narratives
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and play these sick little mind games all
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because they chasing excitement over there funny how
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that works ain't it like they will they take all this effort
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and energy to pour into somebody else rather than fix their situation at home
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and keep their family together they willing to risk it all for nobody out there it might seem cool
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and exciting at first they might go back to some kind of nostalgic feeling
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when it was a teenage girl
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and the excitement of having a new guy the excitement of not having a family at
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that time and having a responsibility of kids and a responsibility
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and obligation to your husband or to your your fiancee
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or your spouse or whatever it is whatever y 'all whatever y 'all doing That's all cool.
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Do not have that obligation.
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Because you out here living your best life at that time.
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But when that dude that you entertain or that man you entertain
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or these men that you're out here actively pursuing to get some kind of validation from, when they shut it down,
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when they really don't know how to do it with you after they ain't got what they wanted.
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then you still got this man over here
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that was with you all this time
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that just wanted to love on you the right way that's probably don't even want you no more
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so you it's a lose lose some men hang around
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and wait for you to come back home
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but a lot of men don't and i see
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that i see this scenario play out a lot where women are just willing to risk their whole setup to pursue
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some kind of fake validation or this excitement or this new dream of independence.
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And a lot of times it's independence to where they go on.
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It flops.
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Nobody shows up or nobody of stature shows up.
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Nobody with integrity shows up.
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Just a bunch of horn dogs out here trying to do whatever with whoever.
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And in this day and time, when you have something solid at home, you should be willing to risk that because a lot of these people, they are entertaining multiple people.
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And some of these men out here, DL, they entertain another man,
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but you willing to risk all that rather than save your home and rather than make things work out.
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Let that sit in for a minute.
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It's your boy, Deontay.
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Let me know what y 'all think about this video.
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Like, share, subscribe.
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All praises be to the most high and our Lord and Savior, you Jesus Christ.
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Appreciate y 'all.
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I'm out.
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Peace.
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Come on.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “Why She Chose Excitement Over Stability”. This video has 147 sentences and 1923 words to shadow. The speech runs for 12:12. The speaker talks at a natural 158 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 89% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| excitement noun | /ɪkˈsaɪtmənt/ | The state of being excited (emotionally aroused). |
| entertain verb | /ˌɛntəˈteɪn/ | To amuse (someone); to engage the attention of agreeably. |
| validation noun | /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/ | The act of validating something. |
| thrill verb | /θɹɪl/ | To suddenly excite someone, or to give someone great pleasure; to (figuratively) electrify; to experience such a sensation. |
| boredom noun | /ˈbɔɹ.dəm/ | The state of being bored. |
| goalposts noun | a 7-10 split | |
| newfound adjective | /ˈnjuː.faʊnd/ | Recently found; newly discovered. |
| outgrow verb | /ˌɑʊtˈɡɹoʊ/ | To become too big in size or too mature in age or outlook to continue to want, need, use, experience, or accept some object, practice, condition, belief, etc. |
| newborn noun | A recently born baby. | |
| obligation noun | /ˌɑ.blɪˈɡeɪ.ʃn̩/ | The act of binding oneself by a social, legal, or moral tie to someone. |
| deprive verb | /dɪˈpɹaɪv/ | Used with “of”, to take something away from (someone) and keep it away; to deny someone something. |
| epiphany noun | /ɪˈpɪfəni/ | An illuminating realization or discovery, often resulting in a personal feeling of elation, awe, or wonder. |
| excite verb | /ɪkˈsaɪt/ | To stir the emotions of; to cause to feel excitement. |
| fiancée noun | /fiˈɑn.seɪ/ | A woman who is engaged to be married; the woman to whom one is engaged. |
| hinder verb | /ˈhɪndɚ/ | To make difficult to accomplish; to act as an obstacle; to frustrate. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| build up verb | To erect; to construct. |
| show up verb | To appear, arrive, or attend, especially suddenly or erratically. |
| come back verb | To return to a place. |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. |
| play out verb | To play (a game etc.) to its conclusion. |
| blow up verb | To explode or be destroyed by explosion. |
| come across verb | To change sides; to cross over to work for the opposition. |
| find out verb | To discover, as by asking or investigating. |
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've seen · they've been · has provided |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | being blocked · is paid · is destroyed |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 41 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, I've, ain't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: thrill /θɹɪl/, thirsty /ˈθɝs.ti/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, obligation /ˌɑ.blɪˈɡeɪ.ʃn̩/, compassion /kəmˈpæʃ.ən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/
- Long words — get the stress right: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, epiphany /ɪˈpɪfəni/, unattainable /ˌʌnəˈteɪnəbəl/, intimacy /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like excitement, entertain, validation.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.