Shadowing Practice: You're Not Undisciplined. You're Exhausted. - Learn English Speaking with Video
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So many people think that they have a discipline problem.
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They look at their lives and they say, I have got to do better.
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I've got to be better.
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What is wrong with me?
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Where is my motivation?
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Where's my discipline?
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Why can't I be more like him or him?
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Why can't I just pull myself up by the bootstraps?
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I've got to do more.
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I've got to be more.
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What is wrong with me? right this individual is so um
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so dead set on trying to change things for themselves and
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and get themselves to a better position
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but what i'm going to say in this video is
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that really it's their addiction to punishing themselves into compliance
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that is making a big impact in a negative direction
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it may be one of the bigger issues right not the discipline itself
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because these guys are typically highly highly motivated they do a lot self -hatred
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and resentment and
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and bitterness these fuels can push someone pretty far
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they had for me for a long time a lot of my self -development
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and things like this they were rooted in self -hatred for such a long time
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and I I did great things
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and I you know one of the things let's talk about is being in shape
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and I got the six pack and I got all these things, but it was rooted in self -hatred.
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And so eventually the adrenaline and the guilt and the fear of that type of fuel,
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it gets to you and your nervous system, it takes its toll and you cannot sustain it forever.
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You just can't.
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So I want to talk about a better way, right?
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Because I'm not looking to make you into somebody who just coddles yourself
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and is weak and cannot hold a line and can't be disciplined at all.
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That's not what I want.
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Nobody wants that, right?
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You need to be a sturdy, strong individual.
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Like a wall you can lean on.
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Not a screen door you rip through as soon as you put weight into it.
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You need to be able to have this grace for yourself
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that we're going to talk about this care for yourself
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that we're going to talk about while still being able to hold a boundary
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while still being able to tell yourself that's no that's not acceptable we have a standard you can do better
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that kind of thing right so let's talk about
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that let's talk about that voice in your head the one
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that is with you at all times telling
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you about pulling yourself up by the bootstraps telling yourself to be more motivated telling
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you to get up at whatever do this or that
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what I like to refer to this voice as is the internal steersman.
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That's kind of my way of thinking about it.
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You can call it the archetypal father.
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Sometimes I call it that.
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You can call it your conscience.
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You can call it whatever you want to call it.
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I don't care.
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It's that voice though.
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And for many, many people, that voice has become, that voice has become a sort of dictatorial
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evil captain who is mean
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and he does not like you he borderline hates you right
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he borderline hates you the way he talks to you with such contempt with such insults with such manufactured panic
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who amongst us can relate to this right of this of this guy just
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you whispering the worst things to yourself up here telling yourself all the horrible things
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that you are
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that you never ever do this right why are you always
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such a screw up why do you always do this wrong
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why are you never able to do this why can't
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you be more like this person why is this happening
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you you're the reason this is happening right this is this is something
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that ingrains such inadequacy in people talking to yourself like
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that all day long just rooting that that message into you
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that you are not enough you do not have what it takes
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that takes a toll let me tell you from first hand personal experience
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that becomes self -fulfilling
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and you say why do i even try why would i even try i'm not
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that guy pal i just can't do it i i don't have what it takes i'm sorry
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and then you give up and you give in
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and you start to say it's not worth it i'm not like that um and the fuel source behind that
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is fear right it's fear and this becomes avoidance one is this is driven by avoidance in in kind of uh
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paralysis to make any moves
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because you have such a fear of failure such a fear of being unlovable such a fear of any mistakes
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or failure in any kind because then it becomes a personal attack on you.
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It becomes evidence that I told you so, you are not enough.
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When your self -worth is contained in what you do, that becomes life or death when you have a task.
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And it becomes a test you have to pass every single day.
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Did you do this, this, this, this, this, and this?
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Oh, I guess not.
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Guess you suck.
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guess you have problems i didn't i told you you don't know
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you don't know what it takes to to do x y
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or z you're never going to get there
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and you tell yourself these things and you think it helps
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and maybe sometimes it does but deep down man it is crushing your relationship with you
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because let's look at the other one the other version having
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that voice in your head that's a kind captain uh uh an internal steersman
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and archetypal father who cares about you who loves loves you deeply respects you, knows that you're worth more,
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wants to see you rise up to that standard because they know you have it in you, right?
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It's from a place of self -worth and self -care.
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That's driven by devotion.
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Devotion over discipline, right?
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In the sense where it's an investment in your future well -being.
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I think that is kind of the shift
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that I've tried to take in my life is that I did
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so much back in the day just to run from this fear of who I was, run from this concept of who I was,
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that I was a failure, that I was a weird kid,
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that I was ugly and socially awkward and all these things that defined me as a younger man.
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I just ran from so hard into this other direction of working out and trying to get
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social media following and trying to, you know, get certain grades at school,
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do whatever I could to amount validation from other people.
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But that is a shaky base.
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It's all external.
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All these external things trying to make me okay.
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And that discipline is this other external, this checkbox I can say, see, I'm good enough.
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See, I'm okay.
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It's not.
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It's not okay.
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It's not a good way to live.
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It's not a good way to sustain.
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And you have to know that you are enough right here, right now.
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Take your head off the pillow in the morning.
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Boom.
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You've got what you need.
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And then from there, you can build.
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Until you start to love yourself, until you start to believe in yourself deep down, you can't make anything happen.
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Not in a true sense.
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It will forever be a treadmill sprint towards nothing it'll be chasing ghosts
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you will get your hands around nothing of satisfaction nothing of rest
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that's another one rest naps one of these guys sees you taking a nap and it's an immense guilt
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i can't be caught dead taking a nap
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so i don't know i'm not gonna ask you like hey comment this
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if you but if you can relate to
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that think about it right
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now are you someone who would feel a little bit embarrassed
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feel a little bit like you got caught with your pants down
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if someone saw you napping right it's that feeling of
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when you're on your phone at work
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and the boss comes by you're like yeah it's totally working that's totally working what are you talking about
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and then um that is your whole life is i'm doing enough i'm showing you i have value right i'm enough
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i have to be doing something i have to be productive
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that's exhausting right the uh the internal steersman who cares about you who's coming from
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that place of devotion towards your betterment towards your future well -being
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that individual knows that rest is a psychological requirement
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so you're going to get that rest because you need it
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and you're allowed to have it because you are you know what i mean
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and you have to even if you get the rest sometimes there's so much guilt and rumination that it's not restful
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it's tainted completely and this is where you spiral in
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that sense of of driving yourself forward by self -hatred it just it turns on itself it corrupts itself
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and it it gets uh
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it doesn't get to the to the root of the issue and it never moves you forward in a meaningful way.
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Because the one with care, when you have a setback, when you have a failure, when you have a mistake,
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as all humans do, it's going to look at that in a diagnostic way.
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It's going to say, okay, what kept us from doing better this time?
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Let's look at that and let's see what we need to do to make you improve next time.
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One of these is here just to prove you suck.
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And one is here to see how you can do better
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and wants to get you there um
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so yeah i think i'm rambling too much
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i'm seeing the time go up on this video i can stop here um
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but let me just tell you one more time
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that you are worthy right here right now you have all
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that you need you are enough and if you can start from
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that place of of knowing
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that you're good you're good here you are worthy here enough already
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and then you say i need to do better because I know
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that I can and I want to live up to to my best out of a plate
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because I love myself
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and I want to see myself succeed the same way
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you would a friend man I love you man
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I want to see you I want to see you come into your own
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I want to see you do better things the way
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you treat someone else man treat yourself the same amount of care and an amount of um
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blood sweat and passion you give others give to yourself right
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that that that give me this give me
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that let me take this from you let me take
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that burden from you let me put it in my backpack
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that that you
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that you do for everybody else do for yourself do it for yourself please
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this week try a little bit of a different voice up here try a bit of
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that caring angle that's that that one that's looking at your well -being let's try that see you guys
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “You're Not Undisciplined. You're Exhausted”. This video has 175 sentences and 1921 words to shadow. The speech runs for 11:14. The speaker talks at a natural 171 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 87% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| discipline noun | /ˈdɪsəplɪn/ | A controlled behaviour; self-control. |
| hatred noun | /ˈheɪtɹɪd/ | A strong aversion; an intense dislike. |
| guilt noun | /ɡɪlt/ | Responsibility for wrongdoing. |
| devotion noun | /dɪˈvoʊʃən/ | The act or state of devoting or being devoted; a feeling of being devoted (to something). |
| suck verb | /sʌk/ | To use the mouth and lips to pull in (a liquid, especially milk from the breast). |
| worthy adjective | /ˈwɝ.ði/ | Having worth, merit, or value. |
| relate verb | /ɹɪˈleɪt/ | To tell in a descriptive way. |
| sustain verb | /səˈsteɪn/ | To maintain, or keep in existence. |
| nap noun | /næp/ | A short period of sleep, especially one during the day. |
| motivate verb | /ˈmoʊ.tɪ.veɪt/ | To provide someone with an incentive to do something; to encourage; to actuate. |
| avoidance noun | /əˈvɔɪdəns/ | The act of avoiding or shunning; keeping clear of. |
| pants noun | /pænts/ | An outer garment that covers the body from the waist downwards, covering each leg separately, usually as far as the ankles; trousers. |
| refer verb | /ɹɪˈfɜː/ | To direct the attention of (someone toward something). |
| chase verb | /t͡ʃeɪs/ | To follow at speed. |
| deeply adverb | /ˈdi(ː)pli/ | To a deep extent or degree; very greatly. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| give up verb | To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone). | |
| hand around verb | To distribute something by having one person hand it to another so it spreads through the group. | |
| head off verb | To begin moving away. | |
| work out verb | /ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/ | To calculate. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- I've got to be better.
- What is wrong with me?
- Where is my motivation?
- Why can't I be more like him or him?
- Why can't I just pull myself up by the bootstraps?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | were rooted · was rooted · can't be disciplined |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has become · I've tried |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | somebody who just · someone who would |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 46 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you're, can't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: devotion /dɪˈvoʊʃən/, passion /ˈpæʃən/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, crush /kɹʌʃ/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: acceptable /əkˈsɛp.tə.bəl/, psychological /ˌsaɪ.kəˈlɑː.d͡ʒɪ.kl̩/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/, satisfaction /sætɪsˈfækʃən/, diagnostic /ˌdaɪ.əɡˈnɑ.stɪk/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like discipline, hatred, guilt.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.