Shadowing Practice: The Most Dangerous Mindset I See as a Therapist - Learn English Speaking with Video
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112 sentences
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There is a tendency that I'm seeing more often in my work as a counselor.
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It's concerning.
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It's this tendency of having very, very little tolerance for how long people are willing to suck at something.
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You know, a very low tolerance for how long they're willing to kind of struggle
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and toil and fail in their attempt to attain a certain goal.
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so i make this video because it's it's such a concerning uh predicament
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because i want to talk about what i think they're losing
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when they forego that experience of the toil and struggle
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and failure but also too i want to talk about why i think it's
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so easy to perpetuate and why i so fully understand
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and empathize with where they're coming from
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so first let's start
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there like looking at looking at this situation like trying to picture myself as a 15 year old
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or something being told hey read catcher in the rye
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and i want you to write
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this five paragraph essay on it i certainly can understand being
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like uh no guy why do i want to sit there
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and read this book words on a page boring the piss out of me
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and then try to sit here in front of a blank page
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and write five pages worth of material about what I thought on it.
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Yeah.
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Kick rocks.
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Chachi BT's got me.
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AI exists.
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Get away from me.
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I get it.
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I understand where they're coming from, right?
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Same thing with sports.
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Like why would I want to join this team?
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Everybody else is already close -knit.
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They're friends.
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They've been on this team for two years.
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They're looking at me like, who's this guy and and i suck i'm throwing the ball like an absolute idiot
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and everybody's looking at me
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and i don't like how this makes me feel why would i do this
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when i could just go play video games it's much more fun why am i going to go talk to
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that girl and try to get a girlfriend
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when i've got a simulated version of that right here in my pocket
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and that'll take care of what i'm looking for at least for now at least for this moment
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and that's kind of the issue
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we are sacrificing a piece of ourselves on the altar of convenience every time
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we take the counterfeit version right i'm going to take counterfeit version
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i'm going to take counterfeit version that's going to satiate this feeling right now
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and there's major issue with that because we're not even realizing uh
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that we're on a steady diet of this counterfeit bullshit
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because we don't have enough time away from our phones in
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general to have intentionality to have deep insightful thought in our own lives
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you know um contemplating what am i doing am i is
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this how i want to do things not having any perspective on ourselves or our lives because we're just in it
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piece by piece moment by moment eating the counterfeit
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um and so that's kind of the why i'm saying i understand why this is
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so concerning and social media exacerbates and kind of facilitates this environment of the perceived of the aesthetic of
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just do the surface level just shine
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that surface just make it presentable boom just fix it quick fix all about the looks
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that is why i get the concern and i empathize with it
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but i don't think we put
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so much thought into how deeply uh detrimental it is to us
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i don't have a good word for our understanding of exactly what it is we're leaving behind maybe
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you do what we're leaving behind when we forgo that that time of toil and struggle but it's like
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when you read that book and you're bored and you don't know
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if you can get to it you're learning something about discipline
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and how you how you push yourself and what does motivate you
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and what do you really want out of this life
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and then you're sitting there with the blank page
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and you're thinking about the book and you're actually being honest
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and earnest in your attempt to to pull something from who you are
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and what you understand what you make of this place
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and the words uh that were written on the page
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and you're kind of coming up with something brand new with the synergy of those two those two concepts
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and you're making something new all your own your fresh own ideas on the page there's something
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so beautiful and transcendent and
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improving about that that they're just leaving on the table
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it's like there's this whole garden in you that can grow
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and you can be this incredibly enriched person
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but the soil the enriched soil that is needed for
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that kind of internal garden only comes from
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that time under tension
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it only comes from being the new guy in the boxing gym who doesn't know how to throw a punch
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and is embarrassed as the guy next to him makes the bag sound like it's a war zone
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you know what i mean there's something in that that you learn
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and i don't mean just oh i'm learning the skill of boxing and now i'm a better boxer i mean
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Why am I insecure?
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Oh, I'm learning about brotherhood.
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I'm learning about camaraderie.
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There's these internal things that will happen to these,
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these things that will happen to you that pull on all of these existential questions left, right and center.
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And you're going to go, wow, I know myself so much better.
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But what in the world is AI going to teach you about yourself?
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What in the world is the video game going to teach you about yourself?
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And maybe that one has a little bit more merit than I'm giving.
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I'm not a video game person, but there's probably more merits in the video games.
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But with the videos on your phone, what is that going to help you with?
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What's it going to give you like, you know, that's true here?
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I don't know.
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I don't think a whole lot.
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I don't think a whole lot.
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And I worry about that tendency for kids,
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younger individuals, and even older individuals and even myself to just give up more of who we could be
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and just handing it over to convenience for the perception,
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for the aesthetic, for the sheen on top to just get us to the next hit.
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I guess that's just a life dictated by dopamine or something, you know?
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And it's not a life I want to live.
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So I'm trying to break out of it for myself and do more that pushes me out of my comfort zone,
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that teaches me more about myself.
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I don't do enough of it.
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And I'm trying to help with these clients to understand the benefit of that toil.
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Anyway, what do you guys think about that?
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And what are we leaving behind when we say, I'm just going to hit the convenient button?
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That was easy.
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You know, what are we giving up?
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I'm curious.
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Okay, turn off.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “The Most Dangerous Mindset I See as a Therapist”. This video has 112 sentences and 1206 words to shadow. The speech runs for 6:51. The speaker talks at a natural 176 words per minute, close to everyday conversation. 84% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| tendency noun | /ˈtɛn.dən.si/ | A likelihood of behaving in a particular way or going in a particular direction; a tending toward. |
| soil noun | /sɔɪl/ | A mixture of mineral particles and organic material, used to support plant growth. |
| suck verb | /sʌk/ | To use the mouth and lips to pull in (a liquid, especially milk from the breast). |
| blank noun | /ˈblæŋk/ | The white spot in the centre of a target; hence (figuratively) the object to which anything is directed or aimed, the range of such aim. |
| merit noun | /ˈmɛɹɪt/ | A claim to commendation or a reward. |
| tolerance noun | /ˈtɑ.lə.ɹəns/ | The ability or practice of tolerating; an acceptance of or patience with the beliefs, opinions or practices of others; a lack of bigotry. |
| aesthetic adjective | /ɛsˈθɛ.tɪk/ | Concerned with beauty, artistic effect, or appearance. |
| convenience noun | /kənˈvinjəns/ | The quality of being convenient. |
| bore verb | /boɹ/ | To inspire boredom in somebody. |
| earn verb | /ɝn/ | To gain (success, reward, recognition) through applied effort or work. |
| pocket noun | /ˈpɑ.kɪt/ | A bag stitched to an item of clothing, used for carrying small items. |
| curious adjective | /ˈkjʊɹ.i.əs/ | Tending to ask questions, or to want to explore or investigate; inquisitive; (with a negative connotation) nosy, prying. |
| deeply adverb | /ˈdi(ː)pli/ | To a deep extent or degree; very greatly. |
| skill noun | /skɪl/ | A capacity to do something well; a technique, an ability, usually acquired or learned, as opposed to abilities that are regarded as innate. |
| comfort noun | /ˈkʌm.fət/ | Contentment, ease. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| leave behind verb | To abandon. |
| give up verb | To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone). |
| come up with verb | To manage to produce, deliver, or present (something) by inventing, creating, thinking of, or obtaining it. |
| turn off verb | To power down, to switch off, to put out of operation, to deactivate (an appliance, light, mechanism, functionality etc.). |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- I understand where they're coming from, right?
- Why am I insecure?
- What's it going to give you like, you know, that's true here?
- Anyway, what do you guys think about that?
- You know, what are we giving up?
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 50 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: aesthetic /ɛsˈθɛ.tɪk/, brotherhood /ˈbɹʌðɚˌhʊd/, empathize /ˈɛmpəˌθaɪz/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: tension /ˈtɛnʃən/, perception /pɚˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/, shine /ʃaɪn/, existential /ˌɛɡzɪˈstɛnʃl̩/, satiate /ˈseɪʃɪeɪt/
- Long words — get the stress right: incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, facilitate /fəˈsɪlɪteɪt/, detrimental /ˌdɛtɹɪˈmɛntəl/, camaraderie /ˌkɑm(ə)ˈɹɑdəɹi/, exacerbate /ɪɡˈzæsɚˌbeɪt/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like tendency, soil, suck.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.