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Most talk show hosts keep it professional, but not Craig Ferguson, because this man turns every interview into something that's probably more memorable.
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These are the best moments of Craig Ferguson.
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trombones, alright.
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Here you are, the stool in case Tom Cruise is ever on the show.
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Why?
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Why have you never been on the show?
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I don't know, something about dignity.
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Anyway, how are you doing?
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I'm very well.
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Hi, Jeff.
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Hi there, how you doing, baby?
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Good, good, how are you?
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Do you know any more Serbian?
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I'm better now that you're here.
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Oh, really?
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Yeah, do you know Serbian?
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She's Serbian, you know?
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Yeah, sure, yeah.
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Yeah, sure.
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This is...
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Oh, God.
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Are you alright there?
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I'm not.
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Don't get you anything else?
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Isn't life just about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable?
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I'm trying.
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Sort of?
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Yeah, I know.
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It is.
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Of course you're very deep tonight.
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What's wrong?
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What do you mean?
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You don't want to get deep on the Late Late Show?
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Eww.
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If we must, we must.
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We don't need to.
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How are you?
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Listen, I will do that blind date thing with you.
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Your blind date project that you do with me.
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I am going to do it.
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I've just been a little bit forgetting to do it.
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For those of you who don't know what he's talking about, last time I was on the show, he promised on American air that he would come and be my guest for a live show that I do every Wednesday.
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Is it live like this or is it live?
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No, it's live theater.
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Oh, live theater.
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Oh, in a bar?
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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And I go on a date with a different guy every week, and I wanted Craig to come and be my date one night.
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And I'll be there.
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I'll text you.
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Really?
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Yeah.
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Well, no, the texts are sent to us by the director.
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He gives us messages like, try and kiss her or don't let him kiss you or which I think might be fun.
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Could be a bit of a problem.
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But it's not real life.
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We play characters.
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Okay, then fine.
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It's not like this.
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All right.
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So I'm a character then if I come to create, you create your character and then you play that character.
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All right.
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I'd like to be an Austrian therapist.
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Yeah, that would be great.
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I will talk like this the entire time.
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Okay.
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I will be a Serbian adult entertainment woman.
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Isn't that what you are?
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You know, I don't mean in the adult entertainment like Uhu and the boobins, but I mean, you know, I mean more like in the,
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you know, you do entertainment for the grown-up people who enjoy watching the television.
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Yeah, yeah, you dug your way out of that one.
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Good, good.
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Merci beaucoup.
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Why do you sound Australian?
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Because I grew up in Australia.
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That's it.
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I remember now.
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Oh, you're remembering.
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It's Bojana.
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It's me.
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No, no, no. I know.
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I just, I was thinking, did you grow up in Australia or is it an affectation?
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I couldn't remember.
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Wow, that would be really talented of me.
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Well, see, it's what I did with Scotland.
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I grew up in Dakota.
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That's awesome.
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I brought my own blue papers, but we talked about it.
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All right.
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Performance space.
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122. In New York.
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So we're doing the show in New York in January.
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Oh, I'm available in January.
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Come and do it then.
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Performance space 122 as part of the Coil Festival.
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That's great.
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I'll do that though if I'm in New York in January, which is very possible.
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Okay.
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Good.
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We'll call you again and I'll tweet you again.
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Did you tweet me last time?
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I tweeted you.
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I've tweeted you.
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I've tried everything.
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I have given up.
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Jeff?
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How do you say Frisbee in the barn in Serbian?
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Well, have a guy Jeff Peterson.
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Have a guy.
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I love him.
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He means it in a very loving way.
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Well, listen, we're out of time.
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Oh, again, it happens all the time on the show.
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You run out of time all the time.
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Well, it's just the nature of time.
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Does it run out, really?
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Well, I don't know if time runs out.
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I mean, but I think what happens is that humans have a span in which they're allotted,
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and talk shows are part of that and this particular segment has reached the pining for the fjords area of its...
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This is an X segment.
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This is a segment no more.
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This is a dead and expired segment.
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It's a big Monty Python reference.
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I liked it.
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I liked it.
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What are we doing now?
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Did you get all your things done?
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I want to make sure you get everything done.
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Yeah, thank you.
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Thanks for being so kind.
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You know what?
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What about you?
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Who calls awkward silences on the show?
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Oh, yeah, I can do that.
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You want one?
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Yeah, well, because, you know, you finish your- You look angry at me, I can tell.
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You finish- No, I really- I've had women angry at me before.
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I adore you.
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I know the signs.
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No, no, no. I've had women who adore me be angry at me as well.
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That's me.
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That's what's happening.
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Okay.
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Awkward, uh, awkward.
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Ha!
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Wanna smell my finger?
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What do you want to smell my finger that's disgusting Smells a bit like Ben Kingsley
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We got a girl you want to say you want to say good night.
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Oh, is this the end of the show?
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There'll be another bit, but it's not that good.
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This is This is probably the, this is it really.
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I mean, some people might stay around, but only because they're high.
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This is when most people will turn it off, so.
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Which camera do I say goodbye to?
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The one with the red light.
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There's no, there's no, I don't know what to say.
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Good night, good night.
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Oh, you mean because of the...
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Oh, yeah, good night.
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This is Olivia Wilde.
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She's here to promote the incredible, the incredible Burt Wonderstone, alongside Steve Carell and Jim Carrey.
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And Craig tears up the cue cards immediately.
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Love what you're doing.
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Thank you.
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You got the stripes and then the.. it's color blocking, but it's kind of taking it further.
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Thank you.
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Your makeup looks beautiful.
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Thank you.
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I'm wearing makeup, but I'm a man.
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It's unheard of.
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It happens.
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Do you wear makeup?
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No, you're not wearing any.
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No. Wow, you're just naturally very.. that's good. So much.
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Was Steve Carell wearing makeup on his pants?
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He was wearing.. he had to be tanned, deeply, deeply tanned every couple days.
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and waxed or shaved.
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Well, yeah, he's very hairy.
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I know Steve Carell.
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He's a very...
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I mean...
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He's a bit of a hair suit.
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He's very.. he's very bucolic.
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You feel you want to give him a banana when you meet him.
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Well, he's been waxed before.
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When he did 40-year-old virgin, he did the famous waxing of Kelly Clarkson.
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That's right.
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Which I now say every time I'm waxed.
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It helps.
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I smack back my chest every time.
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It helps with the pain, but this time he was shaved and tanned
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and he had the big wig So he had to go through everything
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that I usually have to go through for a movie But this time I you didn't have to do it.
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I came in like it's a movie about do you enjoy magic?
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Do you like carrot top and stuff?
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I do huge fan.
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I Don't doesn't do magic.
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We just magic Other guy yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah often get mixed.
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Yeah, I know I when I was little I had a magician at every birthday party really
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and yet I never learned how to do the tricks I just like to watch
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and be amazed you know I don't want to know how I look that was sex yeah yeah
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I never like to do any of the tricks I just go wow how do they do
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that yeah no it's nice where are you from originally my I'm Irish
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and American and I have a I have a dual citizenship.
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Do you have...are you an American citizen?
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Yes, I am.
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Look, I got my tattoo.
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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Very cool.
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Yeah.
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Did you get a tattoo when you became an American citizen?
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No, no. Do you have any tattoos?
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I do.
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I have a few.
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I have one really bad one.
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I actually have a bad tattoo club if you want to be in it.
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Uh, mine are all pretty awesome.
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Well...
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Well...
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It depends what tattoo did you get?
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I got...I didn't plan to tell this story.
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No, I don't.
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I have a tattoo of a dragon that I got when I was 13 and it is
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To a 13 year old girl.
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No, I you hand over cash that tattoo a cat.
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They don't wow And and it was in New York City, and I thought it was a great idea They had a lot of meaning at the time,
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but now it's hideous, but I started where is It's it's on my lower lower lower back.
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It's not a trend It's over to the right.
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It's an ass stamp, which is probably a lot classier.
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Yeah, I mean, and also, it's kind of like it's of its time, you know?
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It's part of your story.
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Yeah!
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I have a huge tableau of a fox hunting scene in my back, with a fox's tail disappearing into my butt.
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You can be the president of the bad tattoo.
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No. That's the tattoo I've always wanted, but haven't had the courage to get.
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I have a friend named Mike O'Brien who has bad tattoos on purpose
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so he has buckets of chicken tattooed in different parts.
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I like him, I'd like him to be my friend.
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He's the best.
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Yeah, he sounds like a lot of fun.
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He's in the clubs, you'll see him in the club.
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Yeah, I'll bet.
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I'm not coming.
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My tattoos are good.
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I don't have the...
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I'll get the Fox Hunt tattoo and then I'll come.
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Okay, good.
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What do you do at the meeting?
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Just all look at each other's tattoos?
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Yeah.
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I'll get a bad tattoo to see you.
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It'd be totally worth it.
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You can only see it if you get the same one.
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Yeah, yeah, no, I'll do it, yeah, for sure.
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I'm getting Pat Sajak tattooed on my ass.
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Hey, so if you're from Ireland, would it be presumptuous of me to think that you were a Catholic?
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Oh, I'm not, but I have all the respect in the world for our new Pope, Boo Boo.
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No, I'm trying to take myself out of that, it was just a joke, I'm just a light-hearted...
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Well, you said it.
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You said it on TV.
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It was light-hearted banter, I didn't mean anything by it at all.
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Yeah, well not what Jewel said so. Do you know Jewel?
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My best friend.
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Is she a dreamer?
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Yeah, she's been here.
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She's been here.
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She's been here.
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She won't be coming again.
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Oh no, she will.
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The thing to remember about Jewel is she's got a very forgiving nature.
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Oh.
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Yeah, I met her at the mall once when she was getting her family.
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Are you a fan of Jewel?
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Yeah, I mean absolutely.
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Really?
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What other music do you like?
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What music do you like?
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Do you like the...
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I can't remember a song.
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What was it?
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I like a good...
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Oh, you like one of those?
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I do like one.
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Yeah, I'll get a bad tattoo.
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I'll give you one of those.
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What else?
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What else?
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I don't know, man.
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I'm kind of losing it.
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It's like everyone's going to fight.
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I thought I was in control, but now I'm like, no. We were talking about stuff that you'll never know about.
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It's bad tattoo club business.
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Yeah.
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Are you going to get any more tattoos?
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Yeah, probably you know once you get one you get another one.
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They're kind of addicting.
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They kind of are I like the kind of feeling of get I like being downtown Yeah, you know Like be downtown like when you're in the tattoo parlor and you're downtown and all the guys are
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big strange
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and just hurting you I mean some people really don't like
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them I I do like them I think look I like them I think that
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when they're left on your body that's just the kind of
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result of what happened getting it it's more fun getting it
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than it is having it's just there yeah really doesn't bother me at
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that point yeah
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but they're going to get it is important yeah yeah going downtown I think though as well I like it
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because it makes me feel like I'm not owned by the
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Borg of show business as well I kind of feel like do you ever do anything like
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that to just wander off you feel like you're not part of this great What's that coming ago machine?
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That tries to suck your soul out for profit do you ever ever do in to try and get away from that?
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I try yeah, I try you can run but you can't hide I know
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And then they bring you back in with offers of cash yeah, right?
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We'll give you cash if you come back.
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All right, then.
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I know it's like when you're a kid and you run away and you get two blocks away.
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I know.
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I've run away.
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I'll show them.
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And then it's dinner time.
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Yeah.
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They probably learned their lesson.
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I'll go home.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, you look out, CBS.
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They're like, we're good.
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I'm like, I'll come back anyway.
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Yeah.
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Tattoos are expensive.
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I'll come back.
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Yeah, they are.
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They are.
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They really are.
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Bad tattoo is not so expensive.
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No. No. It can be.
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I mean, there's so many bad ones.
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It's fantastic.
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I was, when I was on House, I saw...
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You keep touching my leg.
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I don't mean to do that.
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Yeah, yeah, but you can't help yourself.
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It's like, you know, no, you know what that is?
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That knee right there, that's like catnip for actresses.
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It's a magnetic...
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Yeah!
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How about I can't?
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Dare to live the dream, Olivia, dare! When Diana
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Agron came to promote her film The Family alongside Robert De Niro, Craig Ferguson tore up his cue cards within 30 seconds,
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and what follows is one of the most naturally charming interviews in the entire run of this show.
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Hello Diana!
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How are you?
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I'm very well, how are you?
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Are you being nice to me because you just saw a clip of me beating up a boy?
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This may come as a surprise to you, but I am often nice to beautiful women.
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Well that's nice.
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I am also European though, so you can hit me with a tennis racket and I may enjoy it.
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Did you make that film in France?
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We did.
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Oh, it's lovely there, isn't it?
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We did. So pretty.
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Paris and Normandy for three months.
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Oh, lovely.
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Rough.
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How long were you there?
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Three months.
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Oh my God.
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And I'm stuck here.
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Do you speak French?
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Un petit peu.
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Mm-hmm.
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Did you get a chance to look around Europe where you were making the film or did you just stay in France?
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I did, I did.
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I went to London a couple of times.
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I went to the south of France.
375
So you went to London and you went to France.
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South of France.
377
South of France?
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North of France.
379
You could only really go Amsterdam as well.
380
Oh yeah, I've been there.
381
Did you have any baked goods when you were in Amsterdam?
382
I don't know what you're talking about.
383
You know what I'm talking about.
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Like, mm-mm-mm.
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Little cookie maybe, little cookie.
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I'll just try one.
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There's a horse in a stall over there.
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Yeah, that's not really happening.
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You just had a lot of cookies in Amsterdam.
390
That's not true.
391
I'm kidding you.
392
So you went right that's lovely though did you like did you take the train?
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I love you take the train.
394
Yeah, yeah, I know I've been to Europe many times.
395
Oh, I know I can hear that about you.
396
Yeah, yeah You probably thought I was German.
397
Uh-uh No, I think you're very proud to be Scottish.
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I am well I'm very proud to be American and Scottish.
399
I'm American now.
400
Are you American?
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I am.
402
I thought you were yeah Why do you think that you've got nice teeth?
403
Oh Oh, so do you.
404
I was at a dentist today, actually.
405
My mouth's a bit hurty.
406
I haven't gone in years.
407
You're.. look at you.
408
That's not possibly true.
409
You have to go like once a week with teeth like that.
410
No, I...
411
No, I really should go.
412
Really?
413
Yeah.
414
Open your mouth, let me see your teeth.
415
You're fine.
416
Remember though, that's a Scotsman saying it.
417
So if I can see teeth, I'm like, you're ahead of the game!
418
That's amazing.
419
It's good.
420
Wow, may I ask you about that is a very interesting piece of jewelry is it looks Indian almost two rings Oh,
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that's lovely and it's on it.
422
Can we just can you isolate this finger so that we could Fascist man,
423
you're a fascist He won't let you show them the finger which is isolated with the rings on it Like for example,
424
I have a ring on this finger right here.
425
That's, you changed that.
426
No, from when?
427
We just met.
428
You've changed man.
429
I feel like you slipped it over, just to do that.
430
No, no, it's too big for this finger and it's, well I could go on that finger I guess, but then I'd look like one of those guys.
431
One of which guys?
432
You know the guys that wear their fingers.
433
Those guys?
434
What guys?
435
The horse.
436
The horse doesn't wear rings, it has hooves.
437
Do you do you ride horses?
438
I went riding yesterday.
439
Did you really?
440
I did.
441
What kind of horse riding do you do?
442
Do you do the like wear a little black outfit and a top hat?
443
No. Just say yes.
444
Yes.
445
Okay, thanks.
446
And any other type of horse riding?
447
Well, they're polo horses and they're English saddles.
448
So I'm trying to learn that.
449
It's much more difficult than Westerners.
450
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
451
English saddles much harder.
452
You just get an American saddle.
453
It's like putting a sofa in the back of the horse.
454
You're just hanging.
455
Yeah, you got that big thing in the middle, you just hang on to it and off you go.
456
Yeah.
457
So, in the film there's you and Robert De Niro, up and coming young actor.
458
How'd you go on with him?
459
You know, he's good.
460
Yeah, I've heard that.
461
I'll wait and see.
462
I want a couple more performances.
463
A few works all right who else is in it Susan's all five very shell Pfeiffer Tommy Jones Yeah, yeah, I've heard of all heard of that.
464
Yeah Were they grumpy with you Tommy Lee Jones is very grumpy.
465
No, he wasn't yeah with you maybe not It depends on who you are though.
466
You probably think men are really nice and well behaved quite a lot of the time.
467
I I don't think that.
468
You don't think that?
469
No. I'm sure they behave themselves a little bit more around you.
470
You know.
471
Where are you from, originally?
472
San Francisco.
473
Oh, I see.
474
So a lot of men weren't really that interested then, is what I'm saying.
475
Am I offending everybody in the world tonight?
476
It's bad.
477
I've got it bad tonight.
478
What part of San Francisco are you from?
479
Burlingame, it's about 10 minutes south.
480
No, I don't know that, but I like San Francisco, but it's lovely.
481
Do you ever go to the Mythbusters there up there?
482
No, I haven't.
483
You should go there.
484
They blow up.
485
It's amazing.
486
Well, that is fun.
487
Do you enjoy blowing stuff up?
488
We blew some stuff up in the film.
489
In the film, yeah.
490
We did.
491
What did you blow up?
492
Buildings.
493
Did you blow up that little French actor there that was coming over to you?
494
Was that actor French?
495
He was.
496
Really?
497
Yeah.
498
Does he not look French?
499
No, he looked a bit too ginger.
500
I mean, I suppose you get gingers Frenchies, I suppose.
501
But all the extra things on his face, those were fake.
502
So I feel kind of bad.
503
He had a lot of acne.
504
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
505
That's not his acne.
506
I think I should clarify that for him.
507
Well, the thing is, you know, he might have acne and it might go, he might have acne by now.
508
Did you ever get acne when you were a kid?
509
Yes.
510
Really? Of course.
511
How was that? And braces.
512
Acne and braces?
513
All those things.
514
Really?
515
I was beautiful when I was a teenager.
516
I believe this.
517
I believe this.
518
No, we don't.
519
We have to take a commercial break.
520
Fine.
521
I don't know what we're doing.
522
What is it we commercial break in tonight?
523
You don't know?
524
You don't even check?
525
I think it's probably boner pills in the ShamWow.
526
It usually is.
527
Do you need a ShamWow?
528
No. Sure.
529
What did you do when you were in London?
530
Where did you go?
531
Everywhere.
532
You can't have gone everywhere.
533
I went everywhere.
534
Really?
535
What was really funny is that, um, because when you're in France, you're, you know, a lot of people speak English, and you're trying to speak some French.
536
But I would get off the train, and all of a sudden I would be very relieved, and it wouldn't click until later.
537
I can understand everybody.
538
Right, we're all talking like that, isn't we?
539
It's all like, welcome to England, all right?
540
We don't speak French here, girl.
541
No. That was really good.
542
I lived for quite some time in London actually, as it happens, as it goes.
543
Doing Oliver, the musical.
544
Yeah, that's right, exactly.
545
Can I have some more?
546
I've talked like this the whole time.
547
My friend Russell Brand talks a bit like this.
548
Have you ever met Russell?
549
Uh-uh.
550
He'd like you.
551
He would.
552
He's lovely.
553
He's English.
554
Yeah.
555
Yeah.
556
Yeah, just saying.
557
You never went to Scotland though?
558
I've been to Scotland once.
559
Really?
560
Yeah. When?
561
A few years ago.
562
I see.
563
I was so sick that I didn't see anything.
564
Were you undercover or something at the time?
565
I had an 104 degree temperature and I was only there for a few days, so.
566
Wow, what was wrong with you?
567
A lot.
568
Were you coming off of something?
569
No. Okay, I was just checking.
570
I've been in the mountain skiing.
571
Right.
572
And I just got really run down, so I have to go back. To Scotland?
573
Yeah.
574
Why on earth would you go when you were so sick?
575
Well, it was a part of a family vacation.
576
Ah, I see.
577
Christmas experience.
578
Mm-hmm.
579
So I couldn't ruin Christmas.
580
I have no problem doing that every year.
581
No. I like to lose my temper and get hideously drunk in front of the kids.
582
Well...
583
No, of course not.
584
I don't even drink anymore.
585
I lose my temper, though.
586
Over what?
587
Oh, stupid...
588
Ay caramba!
589
Like?
590
Just stupid crap.
591
What about you?
592
Do you lose your temper? lose your temper you seem very
593
even sort of I'm mellow you're pretty kind of gorgeous actually
594
yeah you really don't you don't have a temp don't applaud
595
when I say
596
that it makes me look even creepier you don't you don't
597
lose your temper you're very kind of no that's why you know movie business is fun you can act out
598
and then y'all cut
599
and then it was all pretend are you do you do
600
a lot yoga no are you on a set to the
601
LA thing well maybe I don't know are you are you
602
very LA do you do you eat a lot of kale I do really you do all
603
that what is the diet everyone's doing the paleo diet do
604
you hear about this you have to eat like a caveman I'm like trying to club a bear
605
and chew on it no processed foods well that I do okay
606
and that makes you calm makes you a lot of things I'm kind of scared
607
and kind of turned on at the same time.
608
But that's the way I am always.
609
So, we're out of time.
610
You fancy an awkward pause, a bit of therapy?
611
What do you fancy?
612
You can twerk with a horse if you want.
613
That doesn't.. no. I didn't think you'd want to do that.
614
What's the therapy?
615
Well, you tell me your problems, I'll fix you up.
616
I don't have any problems.
617
Mm-hmm.
618
That's denial.
619
That's your first problem.
620
Everyone has problems.
621
There's no shame in it.
622
There's no shame in it, Diana.
623
I don't have bad problems.
624
Mm-hmm.
625
Well, I think that's taking a judgment on a good or a bad problem.
626
There's no moral in a problem.
627
A problem is simply a problem.
628
So tell me why you hate America.
629
They warned me about it.
630
Oh, come on.
631
In the best way.
632
No, come on.
633
I think I've laughed on this show more than I've ever laughed on a show.
634
Really?
635
Yeah.
636
Man, you must do some crappy shows, girl.
637
Yeah.
638
Now that you've seen where these two ended up, here's where it all started.
639
This is Bojana Novakovic's first appearance on the show.
640
She came in to promote her Fox series Rake.
641
But what she got instead was Craig Ferguson abandoning the interview within two minutes
642
and going somewhere nobody on the production team had planned for.
643
Boyana Beautiful name that is boyana is that serbian by any chance?
644
Oh it is wow you read your card No, I because during the commercial break about I said welcome and I said boy.
645
I know that's a lovely name And she said it's serbian
646
and I said oh you're from Serbia or something and then you said I didn't read my cards Yeah, you didn't I really want to look at this Wow Yeah, that's right.
647
Oh look you've got tattoos on your So do you?
648
I do have a lot of them.
649
You look like a naughty one that one.
650
No, no, no, not at all.
651
It's very patriotic.
652
It's a little bit naughty because it's on me, but they Many do you have just the two three this one two.
653
Oh that must a hurt like yeah My lord in the palm of your hand.
654
Yeah, I've drunk Maria.
655
I was actually stone-cold sober really and heartbroken.
656
Oh Yeah, the pain helps It's the snake cup.
657
I love the snake, snake cup.
658
I was excited to meet the snake cup.
659
The snake cup is excited to meet you.
660
Well, and Jeff, where's Jeff?
661
Oh, hey.
662
Oh, hello there, my dear.
663
How are you?
664
Hello.
665
Oh, Jeff.
666
I didn't know you spoke Serbian.
667
Sure I do, yeah, yeah.
668
Fluently.
669
Oh, really?
670
Say something else in Serbian then.
671
Yeah, uh, tacos El Carbon.
672
Good night, Serbian.
673
Thanks, Jeff.
674
Jeff's so funny.
675
Yeah, your accent sounds a little bit Australian, to be honest.
676
I have to be...
677
We did move to Australia when I was seven.
678
I see.
679
Which part of Australia?
680
We moved to Sydney and then I moved to Melbourne.
681
Have you been?
682
I have.
683
Been to both places.
684
I really liked Melbourne.
685
Me too.
686
I don't quite like Sydney as well, but Melbourne, my lord. So good.
687
Lots of punks in Melbourne.
688
I think they keep...
689
I was one of them!
690
Now you're in a suit.
691
Yes, yes.
692
But underneath the suit naughty tattoos and the heart of punk rock give any other tattoos.
693
Yes.
694
Mmm I was really drunk No, I would never get my you know,
695
where did you get your tattoos then?
696
Oh your arms no, but I mean where did you get them in New York?
697
All right?
698
Oh god I hope he's not watching who the guy who did this one I fell in love with him
699
when he did it and then he did this one
700
and it says can't get rid of you And then he broke up with me Wait, you got tattoos done by a lover?
701
Yeah.
702
Well, he wasn't my lover.
703
Really?
704
Yeah.
705
Gosh, that's brave.
706
And then we broke up and then I got this one.
707
Yeah, but that must be tough.
708
Because then it's on you.
709
Well, no, I love them.
710
Okay, fair enough.
711
I don't regret a single one.
712
Right, alright.
713
What are you doing with that card now?
714
I'm just saying what you've been told to talk.
715
I've always been intrigued, especially on your show, what the cards say.
716
Because people work and they write it up for you.
717
Yeah, they actually work them.
718
I tear them up every night.
719
Yeah, I know, I know.
720
And I kind of just thought it would be nice to mention, you know, that people work hard to write the cards.
721
They do, and you know their work is deeply appreciated.
722
My thanks to all of the people who write on these cards every night.
723
The only reason I tear them up is to express my disdain for the job and the medium.
724
That's all.
725
Oh, but you're...
726
You've got to...
727
No, don't clap that.
728
Don't clap that.
729
You have the best...
730
This is the best talk show.
731
I think it's a great talk show, but that's like being, you know...
732
That's like being the tallest midget.
733
I mean, so what?
734
No, you're lucky.
735
No, I like this show.
736
I do.
737
You curse and they put a little flag over your mouth, they let you curse.
738
Do you curse?
739
Ay caramba!
740
She's Serbian!
741
She's Serbian!
742
She's Serbian and then Australian.
743
She doesn't understand our ways.
744
Let her talk!
745
You're a racist man.
746
Double racist.
747
Serbia and Australia.
748
Have you ever been back to Serbia?
749
Oh, I didn't even see that you were there.
750
Sorry.
751
Yeah, yeah.
752
No, no, come on.
753
Yeah, that's right.
754
But I appreciate the work you do.
755
He didn't do these, did he?
756
No, no, he doesn't do these.
757
He's way above that.
758
He tells people to do these.
759
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
760
And they're like, but he tears them up every night and says, you better do them.
761
Let's, no, no, let's see, hang on.
762
Rake.
763
Oh, well, no, we did that.
764
Yeah, Rake.
765
You never talk about people's showers.
766
Yeah, do tell me about Rake.
767
Oh, my God, they're gonna love me for bringing that up.
768
Rake.
769
Yeah, yeah, Rake.
770
Is it any good?
771
Yeah.
772
There you are, then.
773
You should watch it.
774
I've seen them all!
775
It's really great.
776
Are they on TV?
777
And you know what, I'm not just saying that.
778
Yes, it's on TV.
779
No, no, no. It's on Fox, I already said it.
780
9pm Thursday night.
781
9pm Thursday night.
782
Yeah, you know, it's so fast.
783
I was really nervous about having to talk about it, because you know, most people...
784
I really wish they had like an honesty meter when people talked about who they work with.
785
Oh, you don't want to have that.
786
No, I do, because do you know what, because like me talking about Rake, everything would be honest.
787
The Honour's Truth, it's such a good group of people to work with.
788
Well, who, like, Kinnear?
789
Yes.
790
Do you know?
791
No. He's been here a couple of times.
792
No, I need to say something.
793
I need to say something.
794
He's lovely. May I?
795
Yeah, yeah.
796
I mean, I don't know.
797
He was ill.
798
Very ill. Was he?
799
Yes.
800
Very, very sick on set.
801
And he stayed on set to work.
802
I do a live show every Wednesday night.
803
I'm about to go and do it after this.
804
Really?
805
You're my warm-up act.
806
Um.
807
Where do you do your live show?
808
At the three clubs.
809
Now we're talking about my show and Rex is going to kill me.
810
I'm promoting a different show.
811
No, it's alright.
812
I, I, I, it's fine.
813
I do, it's kind of like this.
814
Really?
815
You do a talk show?
816
Yeah, no, no, it's called the Blind Date Project.
817
I go on a different...
818
Blind Date Project, eh?
819
Yep.
820
What kind of a blind date are we talking about, sister?
821
Oh, is this for real?
822
Yeah, I'm cleaning.
823
Hang on, is this board music or is this like go-on-scene music?
824
No, it's, no, it's, it's noir, it's noir music.
825
I've never done a talk show.
826
You need to be very nice to me.
827
I'm a talk show.
828
Have you never done a talk show?
829
Yeah, be gentle.
830
really a talk show.
831
You can't see him, he's not a real horse.
832
Okay, go on.
833
I've been waving and he's not waving back.
834
Yes, he's not there.
835
Okay.
836
Sorry.
837
The only people here are you and me and the skeleton, baby.
838
So what were we talking about?
839
We were talking about your show, The Three of Clubs or something.
840
Okay, so it's a fully improvised hour.
841
I have no idea how that would work.
842
It works.
843
guest you should be my date Craig you should come and be my date on it
844
oh yeah it's a fully improvised hour it's called the blind
845
date project I go on a blind date with a different actor
846
or performer every week and directions are sent to us by text messages
847
and phone calls and it's an improv show
848
that lasts an hour in a karaoke bar
849
and we think there's no set ending
850
and what happens is I'll do it I'll do it I'm
851
gonna I'm gonna hold you to it I'll do it just That's the kind of thing that I like.
852
It expresses...
853
No, no, look at me.
854
Contempt for the...
855
Format, and I like that. Which format?
856
I have no idea.
857
My feet aren't even touching the ground, I'm so short.
858
George, do you want a little...
859
Oh, my God, my mind.
860
Maybe the Tom Cruise still, hold on.
861
Oh, thanks.
862
Anyway, Rake's amazing, because Greg was really ill and he...
863
There you go.
864
Thanks.
865
We keep that in case Tom Cruise is ever on.
866
He's my height.
867
Maybe now that he sees that it works.
868
Yeah, don't worry Tom, we're set up for you.
869
Oh, we have to go, we're way over, sorry.
870
Really?
871
Way over?
872
I'll talk to you more on your show.
873
Oh, do we have to do the commercial break now?
874
Yes.
875
Oh, you will come, you'll come and do my show.
876
But you don't play yourself, you play a character.
877
Tootsie Fruitsie!
878
Oh, you can play yourself then.
879
Oh, I'll do it.
880
Okay, great.
881
All right, then.
882
But I play a character.
883
All right, go to a commercial break.
884
Oh, let's go.
885
Well, wait, who's your character?
886
Her name's, oh, it doesn't matter.
887
She changes according to who.
888
I'm not allowed to know that it's you either, right?
889
I don't know who it is, so I'll put you in touch with my people, and then we'll figure it out.
890
This is Imogen Poots, here to promote her romantic comedy, and that became an awkward moment.
891
She broke Craig's salad tongs in the green room before the interview even began.
892
He brings it up multiple times in between, teen, somehow finding time to compliment everything she's wearing and tell a story about a girl.
893
It's all right.
894
I'm just saying it John Goodman how much we enjoyed Accents that with people who talk a little bit like you.
895
Well, I actually said that just now says somebody was very very lovely And I said thank you very much, and I thought that's actually quite a No, thank you very much.
896
It's a lovely thing.
897
Thank you very much But you can't really say just like thank you very much.
898
It's like thank you very much sounds a bit Well, where the thing is you see what happens is cuz I've
899
lived in America for a long time I'm American now if you say thank you very much like that be curtsy
900
They get, they're like, oh, well, nice to meet you.
901
You're nice to meet your, uh, nice to meet your, your ladyship.
902
And, uh, they curtsy.
903
That's a great thing.
904
No, it's fine.
905
You know, I have to tell you, this is something I've learned in Los Angeles.
906
Don't eat communal salad.
907
Like in Spain?
908
Well, you're not meant to.
909
Well, no, in Spain, you can eat communal salad.
910
You can?
911
I don't know.
912
But in Los Angeles, people are like, is that salad?
913
Ah, man.
914
And they use the tongs, and then you go, thank you very much, and they curtsy.
915
And the sneeze guard, this is Bishop's sneeze guard.
916
There's a sneeze guard up there?
917
I don't think there is.
918
Did you break it?
919
Were you very violent as a child?
920
I wasn't Craig, I was very gentle as a child.
921
Where are you from?
922
From Chiswick in London.
923
I used to go out with a girl from Chiswick. Did you?
924
I did, she had a fantastic bum.
925
Oh, that's...
926
I used to travel from North London on the Piccadilly Line to see her bum. Did you?
927
It's worth it.
928
It was worth it every trip.
929
That's a good thing.
930
Yeah.
931
It's full of pensioners and pigeons and bottoms.
932
Pensioners are old people.
933
They're what we call seniors here in America.
934
Seniors.
935
Yeah.
936
That was, now the girls whose bottom I went to, well, she'd be a senior now, I suppose.
937
I don't know if she is.
938
Well, I'm sure her bottom's still fine.
939
That's not the point.
940
So you're from Chiswick.
941
I am.
942
And are your family acrobats or something?
943
Absolutely not.
944
Wish they were.
945
What are they then?
946
They're pootsers.
947
Pootsers.
948
It is, I'm trying to not say your name too much.
949
I'm so sorry.
950
I'm sure you get a lot of trouble about being called a poots.
951
Well, it's fine.
952
In Europe it's okay.
953
In America it's game over.
954
Because people in hotels, if you happen to be in a hotel, and you call downstairs for some suspicious request,
955
they assume that I'm a man.
956
Whoa, whoa.
957
Suspicious request?
958
Such as...shoeshine?
959
Shoeshine?
960
Well, shoeshine?
961
Could you just end up with shoeshine?
962
Thank you very much.
963
Yeah, all right.
964
Really?
965
A shoe shine?
966
When in Rome?
967
What?
968
When in Rome don't eat communal salad?
969
I don't understand!
970
Do you get your shoes shi- your shoes are- well these are matte.
971
These are.
972
They are.
973
Well done.
974
Well I know about women's shoes.
975
Yes, and I'll tell you why, because I know what women like. On purpose.
976
So that I can, you know, finagle my way into their affections and then see their bottoms.
977
Watch that, yep.
978
Good plan.
979
It's worked for me almost flawlessly up until now.
980
And if you think it's time to bring Craig Ferguson back to late night, hit the subscribe button right now.
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Este vídeo tem 980 frases e 6613 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 36:18. O falante fala rápido, cerca de 182 palavras por minuto, então espere sons ligados e reduzidos. 83% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês; vale a pena estudar o restante antes de começar.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
15 palavras do vídeo que vale a pena aprender, com pronúncia e significado:
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| tattoo substantivo | /tæˈtuː/ | tatuagem |
| finger substantivo | /ˈfɪŋɡɚ/ | dedo (da mão) |
| acne substantivo | /ˈækni/ | acne |
| tear verbo | /tɛɹ/ | rasgar |
| awkward adjetivo | /ˈɔk.wɚd/ | desajeitado, bisonho |
| snake substantivo | /sneɪk/ | cobra, serpente |
| salad substantivo | /ˈsæl.əd/ | salada |
| temper substantivo | /ˈtɛmpɚ/ | temperamento |
| downtown substantivo | /ˈdaʊ̯nˌtaʊ̯n/ | centro, baixa |
| segment substantivo | /ˈsɛɡmɛnt/ | segmento |
| tweet substantivo | /ˈtwiːt/ | pio |
| deeply advérbio | /ˈdi(ː)pli/ | profundamente |
| cookie substantivo | /ˈkʊki/ | biscoito, bolacha |
| curse substantivo | /kɝs/ | maldição |
| tan verbo | /tæn/ | bronzear |
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
| Palavra | Significado |
|---|---|
| blow up verbo | explodir |
| come back verbo | voltar |
| run away verbo | fugir |
| run out verbo | ficar sem |
| beat up verbo | espancar |
| end up verbo | terminar, acabar |
| get off verbo | sair |
| give up verbo | render-se |
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 270 contrações e formas reduzidas, como don't, I'm, you're. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “th”: theater /ˈθi(ə)tɚ/, bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: suspicious /səˈspɪʃ.əs/, shave /ˈʃeɪ̯v/, fascist /ˈfæʃɪst/, vacation /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/, shell /ʃɛl/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, citizenship /ˈsɪtɪzənʃɪp/, patriotic /peɪ.tɹiˈɑ.tɪk/, undercover /ˌʌndə(ɹ)ˈkʌvə(ɹ)/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Comece na velocidade 0,75×, faça shadowing frase por frase e volte à velocidade normal quando ficar fácil.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como tattoo, finger, acne.
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + verbo — um hábito ou estado do passado que não é mais verdade | used to go · used to travel |
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | have you never been · I've just been · I've tweeted |
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | are sent · be tanned · been waxed |
| Orações relativas who / which + oração — informação extra sobre uma pessoa ou coisa | people who enjoy · January, which is · women who adore |
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.