Prática de Shadowing: How to Flirt Naturally - Aprenda a falar inglês com vídeo
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When we're nervous, there's a jitteriness to us.
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And we not, if you think of like, what's people pleasing energy?
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When someone says something, as soon as you find a moment halfway through the sentence where you can agree with what they're saying, you start to nod quickly, right?
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That's people pleasing energy.
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It's the opposite of seduction.
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It's the opposite of flirtation.
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If you haven't already subscribed to the new YouTube channel for the podcast, you can do
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so at love life podcast channel where you can watch the entire video episode uh as they come out
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which i know a lot of people have been enjoying let's go around the room
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and each say like what's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of what flirting looks like?
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I think it means showing a certain degree of interest in someone.
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I have this model where it's like interest plus challenge flirting,
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which we've said before, but I think of it as giving someone just a little bit more notice than usual.
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Like I might notice something about someone, even if I was like, um, I really like your dimples when you smile,
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or even if I was just like um even
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if I would slow down with them
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and have a bit more eye contact be a little more
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expressive be a little more intrigued like noticing something about their personality be like you seem like you know even
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if it was like they like spicy food
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or something being like oh you like spicy food as well that's cool I'm into that like even just showing
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I acknowledge something about you that that triggered something in me and I'm noticing it
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now for some people they'll hear the dimples one
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and they'll be like oh my god I couldn't say
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that to someone is that something you think can be said on a first date
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or is that a second date thing or is
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that a before you've even gotten a date with someone thing yeah
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so I the physical one I would more come when you have
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when you're like vibing on a date
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and it's going well then you could like start go to a visual
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so that's like hour two of a day right it's going
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well hour two you're vibing then you can go to a
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physical you might start more with someone's style again a behavior even
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if it's a shared thing like oh you did
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that as well you like you're adventurous like that like oh i like
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that like i like that about you all right that's cool i really like
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that me too or i'm really into that like it's you know even
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if you just go oh i'm so glad you're into
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that i really love that as well like it's
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so cool to meet someone who is you know nerdy as well who is whatever adventurous
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or the old paris hilton phrase that's hot that's hot yeah it's just adding
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that wait is that paris hilton yeah that's her catchphrase she'd be like that's hot
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so thank you but some people are confident enough to even just say like um i like that jacket is hot Well,
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what I like about that is there's a difference between platonic language and desire language.
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And by the way, there's a difference between love language too, right?
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Platonic language is the language of friendship.
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It's the language of our buddies.
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Desire language is the language of sexual tension.
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And love language is the desire of intimate connection.
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And what you just said, if you say that, that's a hot jacket.
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which by the way can be said as a very throwaway
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comment it doesn't need to be said as like a very intense comment
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if you're like that's a hot jacket i like that jacket that's desire language
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you're draw your you if you know if a family member said to you
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that they wouldn't say that's a hot jacket they say that's such a nice jacket right
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but someone you're flirting with using the word hot immediately charges it yeah like
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if someone said someone could say that jacket makes your shoulders look big
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and if you're like is that a good thing
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and they'd be like oh definitely like even if they said it like
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that in that way you're like oh they're like they're flirtatious don't say
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that to a woman don't say it to a woman
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that was a very gendered example but yeah
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that kind of thing about oh yeah that's definitely a good thing like
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that kind of thing
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and saying it matter-of-factly it doesn't have to be like oh i'm turning on the movie version of flirting
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which is a little very like cliche i also like to
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remove i i don't want people to get the impression you always have to use desire language
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and everything you say as well i mean we were david talking about the example the other day of like
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if you saw if you were on a video call with someone
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or even if you saw on their dating profile
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that they had like a you know a princess mononoke poster on their wall
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and you realize from that that they're into studio ghibli film
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these are these japanese animated films
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that we love you could literally send them a message on an app
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and be like um i spied
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that mononoke poster on your wall you know well played sir like
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that would be a flirtatious comment
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or do you want to know the reason the main reason
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i swiped right why you're princess mononoke that's good that's like the sweet version of flirting
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A lot of people are worried that they're going to come across too sexual
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if they try and flirt What's nice about that is it's not sexual at all, right?
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But it does carry an energy with it
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And I think that's the way we have to start thinking about flirting Is
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that there's a certain energy to flirting So I want to keep going around I was going to ask you, what do you think of when you think of flirting?
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I think one of the things I've noticed in people who struggle with flirting is that they are always one tempo.
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So they will typically, the anti-flirting tempo is fast.
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If you think of seduction, the connotation with seduction tempo-wise is slow.
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When you are beginning to go into seduction mode, as I'm not saying you towards them, but
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when together in unison you're moving towards this more seductive phase things start to slow down a bit like slow r&b
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like slow r&b very seductive very seductive like usher where is
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this music coming from this is this is a good flirting tip if someone is telling you something on a date
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and you are finding it not just interesting, but really attractive.
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Maybe they're talking passionately about something that they care about.
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You see their eyes light up.
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Observe them as they're talking.
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Almost make it so that it's like you're listening to them.
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You are hearing them.
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But there's also a part of you that is clearly just observing them right now as an attractive human being.
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and when you do rather than punctuating every point they make with yeah yeah oh wow oh okay interesting
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which is like you're i i think of flirting like this
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kind of i don't know i what's the right way to
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say it it's like a water balloon that's like like being filled up
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and it's growing the tension is growing every time like someone's talking
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and you're like oh that's interesting oh wow oh cool it's
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like you're popping the balloon yeah every time you just keep saying something
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or like punctuating what they say with a little remark you're you're you're popping the balloon
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and so it never actually builds up any tension but
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if instead someone's telling you something
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and they start to notice you noticing them you're not saying anything you're looking at them
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and they can tell you're kind of also staring at them at the same time as listening to them
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and you start to slow down and you really make eye contact while they're speaking, that can be a real form of flirting,
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but that requires you to slow down and be more present.
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When I've done, you know, TV show,
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I've done multiple TV shows in my life where they have put me in some back room with monitors around me,
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watching someone on a date, whoever is the kind of contestant on the show, who's the subject of the show,
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they will be on a date or multiple dates, speed dating, and I will listen in with an earpiece to what they're doing.
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And it's amazing how many people go through entire dates where there's no flirtatious energy and only anxious energy.
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And if I were to say, what's the hallmark of that, I would say it's speed.
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It's like everything is sped up.
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The conversation is sped up.
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The way they gesture.
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Gesturing can be a really powerful thing body language wise.
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But if you speed it up, it starts to just, gesturing just starts to register as anxious body language.
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The number of times they say yes, yeah, oh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah.
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Like even on, it's funny, even if you watch a podcast, there are podcasts where the list,
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the person who's listening keeps making affirmative noises.
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And even that can disrupt the flow.
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And that's not a flirtatious situation, but it's a good example.
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On a date, the same thing happens.
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Listen to how many times you make affirmative noises instead of just taking someone in.
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What about nodding?
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yeah nodding's fine
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but again like how quick do you do these things like are you like try slowing down your movements
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because when we're nervous there's a jitteriness to us and we not
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if you think of like what's people pleasing energy
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when someone says something as soon as you find a moment
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halfway through the sentence where you can agree with what they're
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saying you start to nod quickly right that's people pleasing energy it's the opposite of seduction it's the opposite of flirtation.
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So we have to learn how to slow down.
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That, by the way, that doesn't mean
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that the reason I said tempo is important in flirtation is not because there's only one tempo that's good.
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You should be mixing it up.
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When you're passionate about something, you can get a little more
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animated and you can speed up a little bit because sometimes the passion comes across in like,
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you know, wanting to get something out and speaking faster.
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But are you then able to pause and slow down?
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And in that contrast between those tempos, there's an attraction that gets created.
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You know, it's so funny.
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My three words, you've kind of, you've said two of them is, was tension, contrast, and it's not a word, but being in control.
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And I agree with everything you said,
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about to me flirting is building tension um it's creating contrast you're having a certain kind of energy one moment
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and then you almost kind of hit them with something
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that really surprises them and then you move on again
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so for example you might be like um
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and actually i think i said this to you early on
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in us dating this is this is kind of funny i'm
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interested i don't i think Have you said this to me before?
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I think, I don't know, but I remember that you were having spicy food, and I love spicy food, and I said to you something along the lines of,
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I think people, I think it says a lot about someone when they like spicy food.
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Don't you agree?
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Stephen, this is validation for your spicy food comment.
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Yeah.
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I said, I think it's really attractive when people like spicy food.
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I think it says a lot about them.
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But that's quite sexual, I think.
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It's very sexual.
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It's kind of implying, but I said it.
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Was it date one?
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Was it when we went to the Italian?
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No, because we didn't have spicy food.
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We didn't have spicy food.
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There's never spicy food in Italian.
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I don't know when it was, but I remember we were talking about it.
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Maybe we were just talking about food.
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I don't know.
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But I remember that.
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But then I would have just then moved on to a different conversation.
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I wouldn't have lingered there.
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I wouldn't have put you in a situation where you're like then uncomfortably trying to work out what to respond to it.
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Instead, you move on from it.
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And as quickly as you dropped it there, it's gone.
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and I think that's sort of attractive
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because people are like oh I was I haven't even thought of a response yet
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and they kind of feel it disarms them a little bit um
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and it doesn't put that pressure on them
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and then the in control piece I think is really important
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which is the best thing the best flirting advice
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that I can give I think is
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when you're flirting just think about it as I'm doing it
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for myself I'm not doing it for a result I'm doing it to try and push some buttons get some responses, try and see if I can create a bit of energy,
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but I'm not doing it for them.
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I'm not doing it to get some kind of response from them or, you know, to make them like me or whatever.
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I'm just doing it because I'm having fun with it.
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And that kind of almost slightly cocky, confident, sure of yourself energy is really useful in flirting.
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Because when I make that comment about spicy food, I don't want anything from you.
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I'm just letting you know that that's what I think and
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that I'm a sexual person and that I think you know whatever
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and it's kind of like it's not for you
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that comment it's for me and
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if you want to know more about it you have to basically step in
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and play the game with me and I think there's something to
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that so yeah tension contrast and being in control
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and we mean no offense to anyone listening who doesn't enjoy
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spicy food There might be a demon in the sack I love cheesy pasta I love cheesy pasta too
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There ain't nothing wrong with beige food We mean not to say
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that you are not a sexual being If you don't like spicy You can still be spicy and not like spicy
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To me, one of the things this conversation shows Is that
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when we're trying to flirt more Or figure out how we can create more attraction with someone, it's not always easy to pinpoint exactly what that looks like.
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And a lot of people are very bad at telling us.
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They just don't know.
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They'll tell us, you need to flirt more.
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You need to have more fun.
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You need to build more tension, but they don't give us the specific ways of doing it.
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And for me, after years of doing this, what I know is it's like a language.
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It's like learning a language.
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And sometimes we're not speaking that language.
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We're not speaking the language of attraction that makes someone feel like they can't afford not to see us again.
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And that might be because we're afraid.
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It might be because we don't want to get rejected.
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It might be because we were married for 15 years
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or 20 years and now we find ourselves single again and we're just not on that wavelength of creating attraction.
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Either way, if you want to learn what that language looks like,
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we have a free guide called The Nine Texts where we've put together nine specific messages that you can use immediately.
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They're done for you to build tension, create attraction, and flirt.
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And you'll actually see what that language looks like.
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So you can download this.
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It's free at ninetexts.com.
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You can use the number nine, texts.com.
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You can use these either exactly as they are, or you can make them your own.
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But what's great about these is you can actually use them to create more attraction with the people you're dating.
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And this can help with things not fizzling out, not fading, and actually turning into something more real.
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Ninetexts.com is that link.
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Download that now.
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Thank you.
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Vocabulário e dicas de fala para esta lição
Esta aula de conversação de nível B2 usa o vídeo “How to Flirt Naturally”. As palavras que mais se repetem: language, flirting, spicy, date, energy. Este vídeo tem 233 frases e 2799 palavras para praticar shadowing. A fala dura 16:36. O falante fala em ritmo natural, cerca de 169 palavras por minuto, próximo de uma conversa do dia a dia. 85% das palavras estão entre as 3.000 mais comuns do inglês; vale a pena estudar o restante antes de começar.
Vocabulário principal deste vídeo
As 15 palavras mais avançadas do vídeo, com pronúncia e significado:
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| spicy adjetivo | /ˈspaɪsi/ | picante |
| attraction substantivo | /əˈtɹækʃn̩/ | atração |
| seduction substantivo | /sɪˈdʌk.ʃn̩/ | sedução |
| podcast substantivo | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast |
| seductive adjetivo | /sɪˈdʌktɪv/ | sedutor, seduzente |
| gesture substantivo | /ˈd͡ʒɛs.t͡ʃɚ/ | gesto, sinal |
| balloon substantivo | /bəˈlun/ | balão, bexiga |
| adventurous adjetivo | /ædˈvɛn.t͡ʃɚ.əs/ | aventureiro, aventuroso |
| animate adjetivo | /ˈæn.ə.mət/ | animado |
| dimple substantivo | /ˈdɪm.pəl/ | covinha |
| punctuate verbo | /ˈpʰʌŋktjuːeɪt/ | pontuar |
| affirmative adjetivo | /əˈfɝməɾɪv/ | afirmativo, positivo |
| cheesy adjetivo | /ˈt͡ʃiːzi/ | caseoso |
| pasta substantivo | /ˈpɑ.stə/ | massa, macarrão |
| vibe substantivo | /vaɪb/ | vibração, astral |
Phrasal verbs que você vai ouvir
| Palavra | Pronúncia | Significado |
|---|---|---|
| slow down verbo | desacelerar | |
| come out verbo | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | sair, partir |
| figure out verbo | descobrir, deduzir | |
| fill up verbo | encher | |
| put together verbo | montar, construir | |
| work out verbo | /ˌwɝk ˈaʊt/ | calcular |
Frases que vale a pena repetir
Frases curtas e completas do vídeo que você pode usar na conversa do dia a dia:
- When we're nervous, there's a jitteriness to us.
- It's the language of our buddies.
- You know, it's so funny.
- It's kind of implying, but I said it.
- No, because we didn't have spicy food.
Gramática neste vídeo
As estruturas que o falante mais usa, com as palavras exatas do vídeo:
| Estrutura | No vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + particípio passado — uma ação passada que ainda importa agora | haven't already subscribed · we've said · you've even gotten |
| Voz passiva be + particípio passado — o foco está no que acontece, não em quem faz | can be said · be said · being filled |
| Orações relativas who / which + oração — informação extra sobre uma pessoa ou coisa | someone who is · people who struggle |
Pronúncia para ficar de olho
O falante usa 103 contrações e formas reduzidas, como you're, I'm, don't. Diga-as na forma curta, do jeito que você ouve.
- Os sons de “sh” e “zh”: attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, seduction /sɪˈdʌk.ʃn̩/, flirtatious /flɚˈteɪʃəs/, flirtation /flɚˈteɪʃn̩/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/
- Palavras longas — acerte a sílaba tônica: adventurous /ædˈvɛn.t͡ʃɚ.əs/, affirmative /əˈfɝməɾɪv/, connotation /ˌkɑnəˈteɪʃən/, passionately /ˈpæʃənətli/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/
Sons difíceis para falantes de português:
- Consoante final — sem acrescentar um “i” depois: flirt /flɚt/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, animate /ˈæn.ə.mət/, punctuate /ˈpʰʌŋktjuːeɪt/, vibe /vaɪb/
- /l/ final — a língua toca o céu da boca, não vira “u”: dimple /ˈdɪm.pəl/, fizzle /ˈfɪzəl/
- /h/ — um sopro suave, diferente do “r”: halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/, hallmark /ˈhɔlmɑɹk/
Como praticar com este vídeo
- Ouça o vídeo inteiro uma vez sem falar e anote as palavras que você não conhece.
- Comece na velocidade 0,75×, faça shadowing frase por frase e volte à velocidade normal quando ficar fácil.
- Grave a sua voz e compare com o original, prestando atenção a palavras como spicy, attraction, seduction.
O que é a Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing é uma técnica de aprendizado de idiomas com base científica, originalmente desenvolvida para o treinamento de intérpretes profissionais. O método é simples, mas poderoso: você ouve áudio em inglês nativo e repete imediatamente em voz alta — como uma sombra seguindo o falante com 1-2 segundos de atraso. Pesquisas mostram melhora significativa na precisão da pronúncia, entonação, ritmo, sons conectados, compreensão auditiva e fluência na fala.