Pratica di Shadowing: How to Flirt Naturally - Impara a parlare inglese con i video
Creazione lezione...
1
When we're nervous, there's a jitteriness to us.
2
And we not, if you think of like, what's people pleasing energy?
3
When someone says something, as soon as you find a moment halfway through the sentence where you can agree with what they're saying, you start to nod quickly, right?
4
That's people pleasing energy.
5
It's the opposite of seduction.
6
It's the opposite of flirtation.
7
If you haven't already subscribed to the new YouTube channel for the podcast, you can do
8
so at love life podcast channel where you can watch the entire video episode uh as they come out
9
which i know a lot of people have been enjoying let's go around the room
10
and each say like what's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of what flirting looks like?
11
I think it means showing a certain degree of interest in someone.
12
I have this model where it's like interest plus challenge flirting,
13
which we've said before, but I think of it as giving someone just a little bit more notice than usual.
14
Like I might notice something about someone, even if I was like, um, I really like your dimples when you smile,
15
or even if I was just like um even
16
if I would slow down with them
17
and have a bit more eye contact be a little more
18
expressive be a little more intrigued like noticing something about their personality be like you seem like you know even
19
if it was like they like spicy food
20
or something being like oh you like spicy food as well that's cool I'm into that like even just showing
21
I acknowledge something about you that that triggered something in me and I'm noticing it
22
now for some people they'll hear the dimples one
23
and they'll be like oh my god I couldn't say
24
that to someone is that something you think can be said on a first date
25
or is that a second date thing or is
26
that a before you've even gotten a date with someone thing yeah
27
so I the physical one I would more come when you have
28
when you're like vibing on a date
29
and it's going well then you could like start go to a visual
30
so that's like hour two of a day right it's going
31
well hour two you're vibing then you can go to a
32
physical you might start more with someone's style again a behavior even
33
if it's a shared thing like oh you did
34
that as well you like you're adventurous like that like oh i like
35
that like i like that about you all right that's cool i really like
36
that me too or i'm really into that like it's you know even
37
if you just go oh i'm so glad you're into
38
that i really love that as well like it's
39
so cool to meet someone who is you know nerdy as well who is whatever adventurous
40
or the old paris hilton phrase that's hot that's hot yeah it's just adding
41
that wait is that paris hilton yeah that's her catchphrase she'd be like that's hot
42
so thank you but some people are confident enough to even just say like um i like that jacket is hot Well,
43
what I like about that is there's a difference between platonic language and desire language.
44
And by the way, there's a difference between love language too, right?
45
Platonic language is the language of friendship.
46
It's the language of our buddies.
47
Desire language is the language of sexual tension.
48
And love language is the desire of intimate connection.
49
And what you just said, if you say that, that's a hot jacket.
50
which by the way can be said as a very throwaway
51
comment it doesn't need to be said as like a very intense comment
52
if you're like that's a hot jacket i like that jacket that's desire language
53
you're draw your you if you know if a family member said to you
54
that they wouldn't say that's a hot jacket they say that's such a nice jacket right
55
but someone you're flirting with using the word hot immediately charges it yeah like
56
if someone said someone could say that jacket makes your shoulders look big
57
and if you're like is that a good thing
58
and they'd be like oh definitely like even if they said it like
59
that in that way you're like oh they're like they're flirtatious don't say
60
that to a woman don't say it to a woman
61
that was a very gendered example but yeah
62
that kind of thing about oh yeah that's definitely a good thing like
63
that kind of thing
64
and saying it matter-of-factly it doesn't have to be like oh i'm turning on the movie version of flirting
65
which is a little very like cliche i also like to
66
remove i i don't want people to get the impression you always have to use desire language
67
and everything you say as well i mean we were david talking about the example the other day of like
68
if you saw if you were on a video call with someone
69
or even if you saw on their dating profile
70
that they had like a you know a princess mononoke poster on their wall
71
and you realize from that that they're into studio ghibli film
72
these are these japanese animated films
73
that we love you could literally send them a message on an app
74
and be like um i spied
75
that mononoke poster on your wall you know well played sir like
76
that would be a flirtatious comment
77
or do you want to know the reason the main reason
78
i swiped right why you're princess mononoke that's good that's like the sweet version of flirting
79
A lot of people are worried that they're going to come across too sexual
80
if they try and flirt What's nice about that is it's not sexual at all, right?
81
But it does carry an energy with it
82
And I think that's the way we have to start thinking about flirting Is
83
that there's a certain energy to flirting So I want to keep going around I was going to ask you, what do you think of when you think of flirting?
84
I think one of the things I've noticed in people who struggle with flirting is that they are always one tempo.
85
So they will typically, the anti-flirting tempo is fast.
86
If you think of seduction, the connotation with seduction tempo-wise is slow.
87
When you are beginning to go into seduction mode, as I'm not saying you towards them, but
88
when together in unison you're moving towards this more seductive phase things start to slow down a bit like slow r&b
89
like slow r&b very seductive very seductive like usher where is
90
this music coming from this is this is a good flirting tip if someone is telling you something on a date
91
and you are finding it not just interesting, but really attractive.
92
Maybe they're talking passionately about something that they care about.
93
You see their eyes light up.
94
Observe them as they're talking.
95
Almost make it so that it's like you're listening to them.
96
You are hearing them.
97
But there's also a part of you that is clearly just observing them right now as an attractive human being.
98
and when you do rather than punctuating every point they make with yeah yeah oh wow oh okay interesting
99
which is like you're i i think of flirting like this
100
kind of i don't know i what's the right way to
101
say it it's like a water balloon that's like like being filled up
102
and it's growing the tension is growing every time like someone's talking
103
and you're like oh that's interesting oh wow oh cool it's
104
like you're popping the balloon yeah every time you just keep saying something
105
or like punctuating what they say with a little remark you're you're you're popping the balloon
106
and so it never actually builds up any tension but
107
if instead someone's telling you something
108
and they start to notice you noticing them you're not saying anything you're looking at them
109
and they can tell you're kind of also staring at them at the same time as listening to them
110
and you start to slow down and you really make eye contact while they're speaking, that can be a real form of flirting,
111
but that requires you to slow down and be more present.
112
When I've done, you know, TV show,
113
I've done multiple TV shows in my life where they have put me in some back room with monitors around me,
114
watching someone on a date, whoever is the kind of contestant on the show, who's the subject of the show,
115
they will be on a date or multiple dates, speed dating, and I will listen in with an earpiece to what they're doing.
116
And it's amazing how many people go through entire dates where there's no flirtatious energy and only anxious energy.
117
And if I were to say, what's the hallmark of that, I would say it's speed.
118
It's like everything is sped up.
119
The conversation is sped up.
120
The way they gesture.
121
Gesturing can be a really powerful thing body language wise.
122
But if you speed it up, it starts to just, gesturing just starts to register as anxious body language.
123
The number of times they say yes, yeah, oh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah, yeah.
124
Like even on, it's funny, even if you watch a podcast, there are podcasts where the list,
125
the person who's listening keeps making affirmative noises.
126
And even that can disrupt the flow.
127
And that's not a flirtatious situation, but it's a good example.
128
On a date, the same thing happens.
129
Listen to how many times you make affirmative noises instead of just taking someone in.
130
What about nodding?
131
yeah nodding's fine
132
but again like how quick do you do these things like are you like try slowing down your movements
133
because when we're nervous there's a jitteriness to us and we not
134
if you think of like what's people pleasing energy
135
when someone says something as soon as you find a moment
136
halfway through the sentence where you can agree with what they're
137
saying you start to nod quickly right that's people pleasing energy it's the opposite of seduction it's the opposite of flirtation.
138
So we have to learn how to slow down.
139
That, by the way, that doesn't mean
140
that the reason I said tempo is important in flirtation is not because there's only one tempo that's good.
141
You should be mixing it up.
142
When you're passionate about something, you can get a little more
143
animated and you can speed up a little bit because sometimes the passion comes across in like,
144
you know, wanting to get something out and speaking faster.
145
But are you then able to pause and slow down?
146
And in that contrast between those tempos, there's an attraction that gets created.
147
You know, it's so funny.
148
My three words, you've kind of, you've said two of them is, was tension, contrast, and it's not a word, but being in control.
149
And I agree with everything you said,
150
about to me flirting is building tension um it's creating contrast you're having a certain kind of energy one moment
151
and then you almost kind of hit them with something
152
that really surprises them and then you move on again
153
so for example you might be like um
154
and actually i think i said this to you early on
155
in us dating this is this is kind of funny i'm
156
interested i don't i think Have you said this to me before?
157
I think, I don't know, but I remember that you were having spicy food, and I love spicy food, and I said to you something along the lines of,
158
I think people, I think it says a lot about someone when they like spicy food.
159
Don't you agree?
160
Stephen, this is validation for your spicy food comment.
161
Yeah.
162
I said, I think it's really attractive when people like spicy food.
163
I think it says a lot about them.
164
But that's quite sexual, I think.
165
It's very sexual.
166
It's kind of implying, but I said it.
167
Was it date one?
168
Was it when we went to the Italian?
169
No, because we didn't have spicy food.
170
We didn't have spicy food.
171
There's never spicy food in Italian.
172
I don't know when it was, but I remember we were talking about it.
173
Maybe we were just talking about food.
174
I don't know.
175
But I remember that.
176
But then I would have just then moved on to a different conversation.
177
I wouldn't have lingered there.
178
I wouldn't have put you in a situation where you're like then uncomfortably trying to work out what to respond to it.
179
Instead, you move on from it.
180
And as quickly as you dropped it there, it's gone.
181
and I think that's sort of attractive
182
because people are like oh I was I haven't even thought of a response yet
183
and they kind of feel it disarms them a little bit um
184
and it doesn't put that pressure on them
185
and then the in control piece I think is really important
186
which is the best thing the best flirting advice
187
that I can give I think is
188
when you're flirting just think about it as I'm doing it
189
for myself I'm not doing it for a result I'm doing it to try and push some buttons get some responses, try and see if I can create a bit of energy,
190
but I'm not doing it for them.
191
I'm not doing it to get some kind of response from them or, you know, to make them like me or whatever.
192
I'm just doing it because I'm having fun with it.
193
And that kind of almost slightly cocky, confident, sure of yourself energy is really useful in flirting.
194
Because when I make that comment about spicy food, I don't want anything from you.
195
I'm just letting you know that that's what I think and
196
that I'm a sexual person and that I think you know whatever
197
and it's kind of like it's not for you
198
that comment it's for me and
199
if you want to know more about it you have to basically step in
200
and play the game with me and I think there's something to
201
that so yeah tension contrast and being in control
202
and we mean no offense to anyone listening who doesn't enjoy
203
spicy food There might be a demon in the sack I love cheesy pasta I love cheesy pasta too
204
There ain't nothing wrong with beige food We mean not to say
205
that you are not a sexual being If you don't like spicy You can still be spicy and not like spicy
206
To me, one of the things this conversation shows Is that
207
when we're trying to flirt more Or figure out how we can create more attraction with someone, it's not always easy to pinpoint exactly what that looks like.
208
And a lot of people are very bad at telling us.
209
They just don't know.
210
They'll tell us, you need to flirt more.
211
You need to have more fun.
212
You need to build more tension, but they don't give us the specific ways of doing it.
213
And for me, after years of doing this, what I know is it's like a language.
214
It's like learning a language.
215
And sometimes we're not speaking that language.
216
We're not speaking the language of attraction that makes someone feel like they can't afford not to see us again.
217
And that might be because we're afraid.
218
It might be because we don't want to get rejected.
219
It might be because we were married for 15 years
220
or 20 years and now we find ourselves single again and we're just not on that wavelength of creating attraction.
221
Either way, if you want to learn what that language looks like,
222
we have a free guide called The Nine Texts where we've put together nine specific messages that you can use immediately.
223
They're done for you to build tension, create attraction, and flirt.
224
And you'll actually see what that language looks like.
225
So you can download this.
226
It's free at ninetexts.com.
227
You can use the number nine, texts.com.
228
You can use these either exactly as they are, or you can make them your own.
229
But what's great about these is you can actually use them to create more attraction with the people you're dating.
230
And this can help with things not fizzling out, not fading, and actually turning into something more real.
231
Ninetexts.com is that link.
232
Download that now.
233
Thank you.
📺 Stesso Canale
B21
If You Feel Like You LOST The One, WATCH THIS! | Matthew Hussey
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
How I Got Over My Worst Heartbreak (And You Can Too)
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He's NOT SERIOUS
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C13
13 Subtle Ways to Make Him Want More With You
British AccentWorking Adults
B22
Your Heartbreak Will Get Better the Moment You Watch This
British AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
✨ Video consigliato
B12
161 frasi
How to Feel Less Shy Speaking English - Improve English Speaking Confidence Now!
British AccentInterview EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
856 frasi
The Art of Charm Podcast 716 - 8 Tips for Compelling Conversation
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
30 frasi
The One Thing That Will Make Everyone Like You
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B11
13 frasi
The Labeling Technique to get people to like you
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B23
87 frasi
Ways To Flirt Subtly
TeensDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B21
186 frasi
The Secret to Better Questions ( Even If You’re Bad at Small Talk )
Interview EnglishTeensDaily Conversation
B21
120 frasi
why we should fall in love slowly...
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
105 frasi
How To Read People Without Them Knowing
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B28
288 frasi
How To Talk About Your Personality In English | Learn English Fast with a Podcast (B1-B2)
Interview EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B21
248 frasi
How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence
Business EnglishInterview EnglishDaily Conversation
C14
176 frasi
What Actually Drives Attraction (According to Psychology)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello B2 si basa sul video “How to Flirt Naturally”. Le parole che ritornano più spesso: language, flirting, spicy, date, energy. Questo video contiene 233 frasi e 2799 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 16:36. Chi parla ha un ritmo naturale di circa 169 parole al minuto, vicino a una conversazione quotidiana. Il 85% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
Le 15 parole più avanzate del video, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| spicy aggettivo | /ˈspaɪsi/ | piccante |
| tempo sostantivo | /ˈtɛm.poʊ/ | ritmo |
| attraction sostantivo | /əˈtɹækʃn̩/ | attrazione, attrattiva |
| flirtatious aggettivo | /flɚˈteɪʃəs/ | civettuolo |
| podcast sostantivo | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast, audioprogramma |
| gesture sostantivo | /ˈd͡ʒɛs.t͡ʃɚ/ | gesto |
| balloon sostantivo | /bəˈlun/ | palloncino |
| dimple sostantivo | /ˈdɪm.pəl/ | bozza |
| punctuate verbo | /ˈpʰʌŋktjuːeɪt/ | interpungere |
| cheesy aggettivo | /ˈt͡ʃiːzi/ | caseoso |
| pasta sostantivo | /ˈpɑ.stə/ | pasta, impasto |
| vibe sostantivo | /vaɪb/ | atmosfera |
| observe verbo | /əbˈzɜːv/ | osservare |
| halfway avverbio | /ˌhæfˈweɪ/ | a metà strada |
| anxious aggettivo | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | inquieto |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| slow down verbo | rallentare, decelerare | |
| come across verbo | dare l'impressione, avere l'aria | |
| build up verbo | accumulare | |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto | |
| fill up verbo | riempire | |
| go through verbo | attraversare | |
| put together verbo | assemblare, montare | |
| speed up verbo | /spiːdˈʌp/ | stringere i tempi |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- When we're nervous, there's a jitteriness to us.
- It's the language of our buddies.
- You know, it's so funny.
- It's kind of implying, but I said it.
- No, because we didn't have spicy food.
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | haven't already subscribed · we've said · you've even gotten |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | can be said · be said · being filled |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | someone who is · people who struggle |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 103 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come you're, I'm, don't. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, seduction /sɪˈdʌk.ʃn̩/, flirtatious /flɚˈteɪʃəs/, flirtation /flɚˈteɪʃn̩/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: adventurous /ædˈvɛn.t͡ʃɚ.əs/, affirmative /əˈfɝməɾɪv/, connotation /ˌkɑnəˈteɪʃən/, passionately /ˈpæʃənətli/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/, hallmark /ˈhɔlmɑɹk/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: flirt /flɚt/, flirtatious /flɚˈteɪʃəs/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, seductive /sɪˈdʌktɪv/, adventurous /ædˈvɛn.t͡ʃɚ.əs/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, podcast /ˈpɑdˌkæst/, adventurous /ædˈvɛn.t͡ʃɚ.əs/, animate /ˈæn.ə.mət/, halfway /ˌhæfˈweɪ/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Inizia a velocità 0,75×, fai shadowing frase per frase e torna alla velocità normale quando diventa facile.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come spicy, tempo, attraction.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.