Практика Shadowing: Being Married To Someone With ADHD - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube

My wife has this thing, it's called ADHD.

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My wife has this thing, it's called ADHD.

Do you guys know what this is?

It's not ADD, by the way.

That one's different.

That's the one you diagnose yourself.

That's where people are like, Oh, sorry, I tuned out of your story.

I have ADD.

No, you suck.

You're addicted to your phone.

You need to take responsibility.

ADHD, that one's a little more intense, all right?

She had to go to a hospital to get that H.

Now, when she went to the doctor,

the doctor was like, you have what's called ADHD.

And she was like, what?

And he was like, this is the third time I told you.

Please stop coming back here.

Now, if you don't know what ADHD is, you probably knew someone in school who had it.

Alright?

ADHD kids, they were always like the weird kid in class.

Alright?

The one that does this shit.

The weird kid.

You know, not the quiet one, not the quiet emo that's to themselves weird.

No. weird one.

The one who sat next to the emo kid and asked them questions.

Like so, is black your favorite color?

You wear it all the time.

You wore that black hoodie last Wednesday and on Friday.

Do you wear eyeliner on the weekends?

You're always in eyeliner.

I noticed that it's also black.

Did you know black is the absence of color?

I have a hoodie as well that's black but it's reversible with the blue.

Technically that's one color and no color.

That's how they fucking talk, by the way.

I would cut myself too.

Now, people with ADHD, they get hyper-focused and easily distracted at the exact same time.

So that means they are really good at starting projects Did you feel how unsatisfying that was?

That was a polite way of saying they're good at making a mess in my living room all the time

Because what happens is is she will get started on something

and then she sees movement So then she starts doing whatever this thing is

and then a sound goes off So then she's doing whatever

that and then her phone happens and those so that it's like it's like Living with a Roomba,

you know, it's just you follow the trail of broken dreams until she's stuck in the corner somewhere

And there's just there's just things it just it looks like Etsy took a shit in our house.

It's just miscellaneous random things But she has good intentions,

and I guess that that counts for something.

So this is what she'll do.

She'll say something like, okay, I'm gonna clean.

And then she will start the vacuum,

and she'll follow that until it hits the coffee table.

Which wobbles, because she hit her head.

She doesn't remember.

So the coffee table wobbles, and she goes, Oh, no, that's uneven.

So she will begin to disassemble the coffee table,

but she only takes apart the two legs that are nearest to her, all right?

So the table becomes lopsided, oblivious to the very full coffee mug that comes sliding down onto the carpet.

Now there's a stain.

This is cleaning, by the way.

Don't forget.

And she goes, oh no, there's a stain.

I should probably get a paper towel to clean that up.

So she goes over to the kitchen to grab a paper towel.

She's in a completely different room now, okay? That room is done.

It's over, all right?

It's a distant memory at this point.

Box it up.

It doesn't matter.

And she goes, okay, what will I do in the kitchen today?

My goodness.

The world is my oyster with this kitchen.

I could do anything.

Maybe I'll start a project.

I'll bake a pie from scratch.

That's what I should do.

Should be a very small project.

I should be hungry in about 8 to 10 hours.

I will build a pie.

Oh, it looks like we're all out of paper towels.

I'm gonna go to the store.

That's what I'll do.

I'm just gonna head out and I'll go right to the store.

Oh, wait, what's going on with the vacuum?

What happened over here?

It's like she becomes a detective who discovers her own crime scene.

She's like, I've never seen the table like this.

What happened with the vacuum?

Why is this going on?

I'm like, bitch, you're the murderer.

What are you talking about?

And then she rediscovers the stain and goes, oh, that's right, the coffee, because of the stain.

I went to go get paper towels, but we're out of paper towels.

I need to blot this.

So she'll take her shirt off and start to blot the stain.

Literally, I come in from the next room, the vacuum's running, my table's broken, she's naked, a baby's crying, we don't have kids.

I'm I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

And she goes, I was gonna do a load of laundry.

And then I don't see her for four days and three nights.

100

She does meth, I think.

101

I don't know my wife.

102

She collects rocks.

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I do not care if they identify as crystals.

104

They are rocks.

105

They are everywhere, bro.

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They're all over our home.

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They're on the window sills, and in the drawers, on the toilet seat.

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We live in a quarry.

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We live outside.

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We're homeless, I think.

111

I don't know.

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And she won't let me get rid of them because she claims that they have powers.

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highlighted by the planets, the stars, and the Mercury's and Venus's anus or whatever.

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I try to throw them out and she's like, you don't even know what they're doing for you.

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Don't you feel so protected?

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I was like, yeah, if we get a slingshot, we're in business business.

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All we have is ammo right now.

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We have nothing.

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Every day she gets a new rock.

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Every single day she gets a new one because there's this little meditation guru center spa, find your, heal your clitoris chakra, whatever thing.

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Every day she goes there and right when she walks in, the clerk, he pops up and goes, My customer." And then...

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And then he sells her some rock that he found outside on his smoke break, probably.

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And while he's selling it, he winks at me.

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I'm like, you're a piece of shit.

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You know she has a problem.

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And when she gets outside the store,

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she just goes, Oh, I just feel so grounded.

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I'm like, yeah, babe, you got a pocket full of rocks right now.

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If you were a corpse, you would sink.

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What are you, insane?

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That's physics.

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One day we were on a walk outside or at home and we stumble upon this well, okay?

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It's a very shallow well.

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It's about two to three feet.

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It's very shallow.

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I could get out of it.

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Okay, don't all laugh. That hurts.

138

We stumble upon this well, and at the bottom of this well, there is a squirrel that's hanging at the bottom of this well, okay?

139

And here's how I react whenever I see a squirrel.

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It's a squirrel.

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My wife has a very different...

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spiritual...

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moment.

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I don't know why.

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I don't know her connection to the squirrel.

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I don't know if it's because, like, they're equally as twitchy.

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I don't know...

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I feel like they're talking shit about me.

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I don't know.

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So she sees the squirrel and she goes, babe, quick.

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Lend me your shoe.

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I will lower it down by the laces and we'll hoist them up like it's a squirrel elevator.

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I was like, I love that you think just because we lower a shoe down there,

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a squirrel will willingly get in it and leave with us like we are his family.

155

And she goes, you're right, we should build a ladder so he can leave on his own terms.

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And I was like, that's not at all what I said.

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So I go about my adult life.

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I come home later to discover my wife is sitting in the middle of the living room.

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The glue gun is on. So I'm too late.

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And what she's done is she has taken two of my shoelaces and she laid them out vertically.

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And then she hot glued popsicle sticks.

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We did not have popsicle sticks, by the way.

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We had a box of popsicles.

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Can you guess what happened next?

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This chick has got brain freeze and purple lips and is doing arts and crafts in my living room.

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I'm like, whose toddler am I babysitting right now?

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With my laptop open to a Google search that says, how tall are squirrels?

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I was like, really?

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For squirrels you say tall?

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So, she collects the ladder just like so.

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We're heading back to the well.

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My shoes are much looser." And just before she releases I notice that there is a note attached.

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And I was like, hey babe,

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is that a note for the squirrel?

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And she goes, no, that's so people read it and know not to remove the ladder. And I was relieved.

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Because I needed to know how far on the spectrum of this she was.

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And so she takes the ladder in very dramatic fashion.

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She unfurls and fa-fa-fa-fa-fa.

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That's a pretty good ladder.

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I don't know what the sound they make, but that's...

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Whatever, tickle your fancy.

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Rikki-tikki-tikki!

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Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-pah!

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She unfurls the ladder, and I swear to God,

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the squirrel looked at the ladder and just got out on his own.

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And she goes, it worked.

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I'm going to knit a scarf.

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And that is my whole life.

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Every day is that day, all right?

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I live with a make-a-wish kid all the time.

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So I'm just like, all right, let's follow your dreams, I guess.

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We'll see what happens.

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Now, people who stutter, we tend to do it more when we're feeling nervous or agitated, frustrated, overwhelmed.

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And there was one particular day where both mine and my wife's issues,

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my stutter and But her ADHD came together for one beautiful, awful storm.

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I came home from shows.

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It had just been an exhausting day.

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And very lovingly, my wife noticed.

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So she asked.

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She goes, hey babe, what's the matter?

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And what I said at the time was, it's nothing.

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It's just today I'm feeling very stressed.

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But at the time that I said it, I stuttered on the word stressed,

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so it sounded like st-st-st-st-st-st-st-st-st-st-st-st-st.

205

This chick started dancing...

206

She was like, that was a sick beat, babe.

207

I was like, yeah, we should start a band and not finish it.

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Практика Shadowing: Being Married To Someone With ADHD - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube

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Практика Shadowing: Being Married To Someone With ADHD - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube

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Контекст и фон

Топ-5 фраз для повседневного общения

Пошаговое руководство по шадоуингу

Что такое техника Shadowing?