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What if fun isn't the reward after you succeed?
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What if fun is the thing that makes you succeed?
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What if we've had it all backwards?
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I think somewhere along the way, we've lost the art of play and hot take, I don't think it's making us better off.
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I think it's costing us more than we realize.
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So in this video, I wanna talk about why having fun is the most underrated life strategy there is, how it's actually making you richer and hotter and more successful,
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and how to actually start fun maxing your life.
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it hey friend welcome back if you're new here my name is jills
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and i help women step into their power tap into their divine feminine
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and become their best self live their best life so
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if that's something you want to do you should subscribe instagram
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so we are a generation
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that has never been more optimized we know more about our
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bodies than doctors had about their patients 20 years ago we
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know our resting heart rate our sleep score our exact hormonal fluctuations our exact body things.
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By every measure, we should be the happiest, healthiest, hottest, richest, most fulfilled people who have ever lived.
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But somehow, that's not how it feels, is it?
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And I think we've started to optimize our lives so much that we forgot how to have fun.
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And not only that, but how valuable and necessary fun actually is.
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Walking became step counts.
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Reading became productivity.
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Journaling Instagram pictures.
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Friendships became networking.
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Working out became body optimization.
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And rest became recovery.
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So I think a lot of us have accidentally optimized the joy out of our lives, too.
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And it's secretly making us less attractive, less creative, less successful, less wealthy, and less happy.
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It's like how sometimes the most regulating thing you can do for your nervous system isn't another cold plunge
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or a breathwork session.
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Sometimes it's eating a cheeseburger with and experiencing how good it tastes.
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Fun is the most powerful form of regulation, and fun is fuel.
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We've been programmed to think that now that we're adults, fun is frivolous, and fun is just a distraction.
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It's a waste of our time and energy.
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It's something that you can do, okay, fine, once everything else is done.
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But fun is what generates energy, and it's the thing that turns your whole about having fun.
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We think that we're tired because we're doing too much, so we try to fix it with more rest, more recovery, more optimizing.
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But you can sleep eight hours a night and still feel dead inside if there's no joy, no play, no aliveness in your life.
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Fun is not a distraction from a good life.
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It is the thing that creates one.
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And I will walk you through and explain everything, but before we get into that, I just want to thank BetterHelp for kindly sponsoring today's video.
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When we talk
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actually makes it hard to have fun starts internally in your nervous system your sense of worth
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and your belief that you always have to earn rest
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and enjoyment that's why having the right support matters whether you're navigating burnout
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or guilt around rest
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or struggling to switch off therapy can help it gives you a safe space to explore what's underneath the discomfort
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and build a life that feels good
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and feels fun to live not just productive on paper
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and sometimes an outside perspective is exactly what you need to see things differently that's where better help
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platform that makes it easy and convenient to get matched with a licensed therapist.
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No waiting rooms, no commuting, just professional support from home on your own schedule.
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You just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a therapist within a couple days, and if for some reason that first match isn't quite right, you can switch to a new therapist at any time at no extra cost.
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If therapy feels like the right next step for you, just click the link in the description or go to betterhealth .com slash jills to get 10 % off your first month.
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So when I say having fun makes you life that the most successful people are just the most disciplined and that's it.
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They're just the ones who have the most willpower
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and they can grind and they can force themselves to do stuff they hate at 5am.
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But that's not actually what I see in the people who really make it, like the ones who are rich and successful and also hot, happy, healthy.
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Here's a question, okay?
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And this is not a trick question.
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What is the single most important thing for becoming successful at anything?
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Growing a social media platform.
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Learning a new skill.
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You probably already know the answer is Consistency, right?
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Continuing to show up.
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We know this.
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It's just true.
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So let me ask you one more question.
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What is the easiest way to stay consistent at something?
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The answer is to actually enjoy it, to have fun doing it.
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When something is fun, you don't need massive amounts of discipline to do it.
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You don't have to drag yourself to go do that thing.
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You just keep doing it because you want to consistency and makes it effortless.
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It's like how some people start YouTube just to make money
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and other people start YouTube because they love making videos
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or in my case I don't really care about making videos but I love teaching.
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Okay so which one is going to be the most consistent?
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The one who just loves making videos or who just loves teaching.
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And so which one is going to be the most successful?
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the one who enjoys the act of showing up it might look like discipline from the outside
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but it's actually passion and purpose
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and this is true of basically everyone who's actually made it they might not have picked the most impressive path
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or the most lucrative on paper but they picked the thing
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that they could happily do for years and
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because they enjoyed it they outlasted everyone who was grinding through something they hated
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while everyone else is trying to out discipline
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and so they never have to really rely on discipline at all
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and i made a tick tock video about this once
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and i basically said that
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if you have to rely on massive amounts of discipline to
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do your goals to get yourself to show up then maybe just maybe it's not actually the right thing for you
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and i got a lot of hateful comments on that tick tock because there was a lot of men saying that required,
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but discipline is a natural byproduct of passion and devotion.
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The path to riches isn't chasing quick money, it's finding the work that you would happily spend a lifetime getting good at.
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It's having fun.
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Look at Alyssa Lu.
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Best example of this.
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If you don't know who she is, she won Olympic gold at the most recent Winter Olympics in figure skating.
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And she's the first American woman to win gold in like 24 years.
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But what a lot of people don't realize is that she also went to the Olympics before this, the one in Beijing.
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And she didn't do very well.
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She didn't place.
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And she quit soon after at just 16, completely burnt out because skating stopped being something she loved and started feeling like a job.
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the word that she used job
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so she took two years off she went to college she explored other hobbies she got into photography
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but slowly she started to fall back in love with skating on her own terms this time
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and so she came back and in her first season back she won the world championship
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and soon after that she won the olympics same athlete same talent the only difference is
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that she started having fun again and when she got off the ice at her first comeback performance at the world
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The first thing he asked her was, "Did you have fun?" So the point is that this time when she reached the top, it wasn't discipline necessarily that got her there.
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she tried that it didn't work she just got burnout so bad
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that she walked away from the whole sport what got her
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gold was joy she fell back in love with the craft
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and joy did something that discipline never could
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or let's take another example a polarizing example okay elon musk
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stay with me i know some of you might like him
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and some of you might hate him but i bring this up
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because he literally just became the world's first trillionaire trillionaire not billionaire man,
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you cannot tell me that that guy doesn't just love building rocket ships.
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Building all those companies is like play to him.
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It's his sandbox.
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It's like when you see a little boy obsessed with their Legos.
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That man clearly loves to build, loves to create, to tinker, to figure out how things work.
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And that obsession, that passion, is exactly why he can put in the kind of dedication
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that would break someone who was only in it for the money.
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Fun isn't a distraction from success.
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and the path to it.
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And not only that, but when you're having fun, this is proven by neuroscience, when you're having fun and you're relaxed, you think better.
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You're more open to opportunities, more open to creativity.
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Whereas when you're really serious and stressed, your mind actually loses cognitive function and it becomes more closed -minded.
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Creativity is a really undervalued skill.
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And often we think of creativity as like for artists and writers, but no, creativity is ability to solve problems,
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to see what other people miss, to come up with the idea that nobody else can come up with.
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And you've probably noticed this: your best ideas don't often come up when you're stressed and you're forcing it.
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They come
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when you're in the shower or relaxing
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or having fun that's often how it works
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so having fun makes you richer and more successful
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but it also makes you undeniably magnetic
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because hotness is not just beauty hotness is aliveness you guys
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know the movie 13 going on 30 right it's a classic
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if you somehow haven't seen it the quick version is a
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13 year old makes a wish to be 30 years old
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wakes up the next morning in her adult body with this glamorous magazine job living in new york city
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she still has the heart and the wonder of a kid
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and it's actually what kind of makes her magnetic her aliveness
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her ability to have fun her ability to be playful because
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while everyone around her is very polished and trying to be too cool
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and is a little dead inside she's the only one who's actually alive delighted by things
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and the best example of this is the thriller scene and
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if you've seen the movie you know what i'm talking about
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so jenna the main character is at this work function and it's this
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big magazine party and it's not going very well it's very lame it's flopping everyone's too composed
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and too cool to enjoy themselves
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but jenna walks up to the dj puts on thriller
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and just starts doing the thriller dance the full thing fully committed having a good time
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and what happens from that
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if you've seen the movie everyone else starts joining in with
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her everyone else starts having a good time all of a
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sudden the party is alive everyone starts having the best night of
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kind of gave them permission to do so
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and jenna becomes the most magnetic woman in that room
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because she's having fun it's not because she's the most beautiful
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or the most polished or the most stylish there's many beautiful women in
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that room but it's because she is the most alive
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and everyone can feel that and see that and sense
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that from her and aliveness is contagious
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and we're drawn to aliveness the same way that we're drawn to a happy dog energy is contagious and we naturally
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actually move towards things that are vibrant and pull away from things that are dull.
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And I think this is something we so often forget about being hot.
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We think it's this fixed thing about, you know, how symmetrical our face is or our body.
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Something that you either have and are just born with or something you optimize toward.
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But the most magnetic women are the ones who are clearly enjoying themselves.
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The ones who are laughing at their own jokes.
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So lit up and present that you with them.
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That is magnetic.
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Joy is magnetic.
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And having fun makes you irresistible.
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And when you're fun maxing your life, what happens? your stress hormones go down, your nervous system starts to regulate, the tension in your body starts to melt away,
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and it makes you hot, like more physically attractive.
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I can tell you from experience
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that the ugliest times in my life have also been the times where I have been the least happy
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and having the least fun.
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You know, it's like when you go on vacation for two weeks
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and you come back and you all of a sudden you have a glow up.
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Your internal energetic state affects your external appearance for better or for worse.
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beauty can get you attention, aliveness gets you devotion.
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Just like beauty might make someone want to look at you, but aliveness is what makes them want to be around you.
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And that's the kind of hot that you can't buy, you can't fake, and you can't really optimize for.
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You can only live it.
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Now, let's get into the important part, the art of fun maxing.
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How do you actually start?
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Well, it starts with two questions.
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The first one is, what do you actually enjoy?
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Like truly enjoy, not just what
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and that might seem like a glaringly obvious question but
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so often we grow up and we just get sucked into adult responsibilities
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and tasks and all the things that we have to do that we forgot what we like to do for fun.
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And if you really can't think of anything, the best trick is to think of what did you like to do for fun as a kid?
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Before all our focus went into productivity and responsibilities and optimization,
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what were the things that you were naturally drawn to and passionate about and interested in when you were a kid?
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Maybe it was playing with your mom's makeup.
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Maybe it was going over to your neighbor's house to play with their dog.
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That was me.
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Maybe it was
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I have a very strong belief
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that what you loved as a kid is not random and were meant to carry some of that energy into adulthood.
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Maybe in a different way, sure, but that thread is still there and it is still pointing at something that is true within you.
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Or notice when you lose track of time.
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You know, when you've been doing something and you're like, oh my god, it's already been two hours?
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That's what happens to me when I write.
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That's what happens to me when I'm with friends.
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That's what happens when I'm starting any sort of new project.
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random either.
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That is a clue.
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And here's what might be the most important thing I say in this entire video.
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Fun is not just something that creates joy.
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Fun creates alignment.
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And alignment is the secret to getting everything you want in life.
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Alignment is the secret to wealth, to health, to happiness, to success, to your hottest self, to all of it.
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When you feel pleasure and joy doing one thing over another, that is not random, okay?
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That is a messenger.
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It is a sign that it is meant to do more of, that it matters to who you are and where you're supposed to go.
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So no, you can't fun max your life if you can't even think of what's fun to you anymore.
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That's why this is the first question.
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follow the thread follow what lights you up it is pointing somewhere i promise
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and the second question is how can i make this more enjoyable whether these are boring tasks
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that you don't like to do like laundry or work
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or whatever how can i make this more fun
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because we almost never ask this we just kind of assume
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that boring things have to feel boring and
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that hard things have to feel bad but
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so much of what drains you isn't the task itself it's that it never once occurred to do some errands.
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Instead of zoning out and just, you know, getting it done, you can ask yourself, how can I feel more alive right now?
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Maybe you roll the windows down, you put on a song that makes you feel 16, and all of a sudden a boring errand is kind of a great little moment.
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And you can do this with a lot of things.
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Every time I start my day to work, I always ask myself, how can I make this the most fun?
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A lot of times for me, that means putting on a cute outfit and going somewhere like cute and cozy.
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Or if I'm really lazy and tired that day, putting on something vibey playlist in the background.
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Literally, this is why I made my notion template to help me stay organized and be productive.
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If you want to see my whole notion set up and how I organize my life in an aesthetic fun way, I'll put that video up here and I'll also put it at the end of the video.
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But like having a cute, organized, aesthetic productivity system, it just makes being productive more fun.
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It is just incredibly satisfying.
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Both questions point at the same truth, that fun and available to you, you just have to start actively choosing it.
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I really want you to think about those two questions because they really are the foundation to start fun maxing your life.
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But beyond that, here's a few more things that you need to consider.
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Lower the bar for what counts as fun.
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Okay, having fun does not just mean flying to Italy and eating gelato, or going to an amazing concert, or going to this crazy party with your friends.
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Fun is also a long lunch with a friend, a walk with no podcast, baking cookies, a movie on a random Tuesday,
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grass, picking up some pretty flowers that you saw while doing your grocery shopping, petting that cute puppy you saw on your walk.
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Now you guys know I'm a Cancer, okay?
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Those things are all very fun to me.
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Maybe yours might look a little different.
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But the point is lower the bar, shrink it.
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Those big moments and those big events and vacations, those are amazing.
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Those are lovely.
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10 out of 10.
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But that's not daily life.
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And you don't fun max your life by saving for one great vacation a year.
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You fun max slowly builds your life and your work around what you actually enjoy,
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what you're passionate about.
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Remember, fun is not a nice to have.
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It's a messenger.
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It's a sign of alignment, a sign pointing you towards your purpose.
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So this is a big one.
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This might mean slowly changing your career towards something that lights you up,
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or maybe joining a tennis league so that you can make tennis a normal part of your life.
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Because you can take the vacations and bake the cookies, fundamentally enjoy the life that you are living or the work that you are doing,
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fun is always going to be an afterthought.
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There is no fun maxing your way out of a life that you can't stand.
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And this doesn't mean that you blow up your whole life in one day.
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You just start small.
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Get vocal at work about the projects that really light you up and maybe the projects that don't.
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Say no to the things that drain you.
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Like if going out and drinking with your friends is not satisfying to you anymore,
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tilt your days in the direction of what you actually enjoy.
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Nobody is going to hand you a life that feels good.
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You have to start building it on purpose
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and you have to start taking responsibility for your own joy because your fun matters.
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Okay, it matters.
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And for some of you, I need to give you that permission slip.
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And when you follow your joy in little ways, yes, at first it'll feel small and insignificant, but it all compounds.
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It's like when someone wants to build Build it brick by brick.
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And after a year of that, you're like, whoa, look at this beautiful new piece of architecture.
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Same with redesigning your life.
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You built it brick by brick.
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And lastly, for those of you who are heavy optimizers, schedule it in first.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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Schedule blocks of fun into your calendar.
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Make it a priority, just like you make your work tasks a priority or your family obligations a priority in your calendar.
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put fun in there too.
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Make it a priority.
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Or for those of you who are really focused on productivity and optimization right now in your life, fun doesn't really happen by accident anymore, right?
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Like it used to when you were a kid.
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Or you say, I'll have fun when I have time.
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And then of course it never happens.
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So think of this like your training wheels.
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You block time, you protect it, and you go do it.
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Not everyone will need this and eventually you won't need it either.
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But in the beginning, sometimes you have to be a little bit intentional about it.
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On a I teach women how to activate their feminine energy because it brings out the joy in them.
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Feminine energy is really the method for getting everything
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that you want in life because fun and pleasure
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and alignment is the path toward everything that you want and it makes you richer, hotter, happier, healthier, all of it.
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And so if you want to dive into the exact method of how I exactly transformed my life
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and activated my feminine energy, my Awaken Your Feminine Energy
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below but so okay if you are into the productivity stuff
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if you want to see
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that notion template it's right here basically it'll just walk you
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through my entire system of how i organize my life in a fun
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and aesthetic way i've used it for like three
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or four years now and it just makes my life
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and my work so much more fun and organized
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so i hope you could check it out i'll see you next time bye
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Контекст и фон
В данном видео ведущая делится размышлениями о важности веселья и его влиянии на достижение успеха в жизни. Она утверждает, что веселье не является наградой за достижения, а, наоборот, выступает движущей силой, которая позволяет нам достигать успеха. В эпоху оптимизации мы забываем о значении игры и радости, акцентируя внимание на производительности и эффективности. Ведущая призывает зрителей вернуть игру в свою жизнь, чтобы стать более счастливыми, креативными и успешными.
Топ-5 фраз для повседневного общения
- “What if fun is the thing that makes you succeed?” - Что, если веселье - это то, что помогает вам достигать успеха?
- “We’ve accidentally optimized the joy out of our lives.” - Мы случайно убрали радость из нашей жизни.
- “Fun is the most powerful form of regulation.” - Веселье - самая мощная форма регуляции.
- “It is the thing that creates a good life.” - Это то, что создает хорошую жизнь.
- “You can sleep eight hours a night and still feel dead inside.” - Вы можете спать восемь часов за ночь и все равно чувствовать себя пустым внутри.
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- Записывайте себя: Запишите свои попытки повторения, чтобы слышать собственные ошибки и улучшать произношение.
- Практикуйте ежедневно: Регулярно возвращайтесь к видео и продолжайте шэдоуинг, чтобы закрепить новые знания и улучшить свою беглость.
Эта практика не только улучшит ваше произношение английского, но и сделает изучение языка более увлекательным. Возвращаясь к теме веселья, помните, что обучение должно приносить радость, а не быть рутиной. Используйте shadowspeaks для поиска интересных видео и начните улучшать свои навыки уже сегодня!
Грамматика в этом видео
Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:
| Конструкция | В видео |
|---|---|
| Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас | we've had · we've lost · has never been |
| Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете | people who have · ones who have · people who really |
| Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает | We've been programmed · is done · is proven |
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.