Практика Shadowing: Real English Conversation Practice | I Choose Myself - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео
Создание урока...
1
Welcome to English Academy Podcast.
2
Have you ever said yes with your mouth while your heart was quietly screaming no?
3
And then later, when you were alone, you asked yourself one painful question.
4
What question?
5
Why do I always leave myself behind?
6
If that question feels close to your heart, stay with us.
7
Because today we are talking about something deep, simple, and very real.
8
Today we are talking about this idea.
9
I choose myself.
10
Hi, everyone.
11
Welcome back.
12
I'm Sarah.
13
And I'm John.
14
And today we have a real English conversation for daily life.
15
Easy English.
16
Slow English.
17
Clear English.
18
Emotional English.
19
Human English.
20
Not robotic English.
21
Never robotic.
22
Today we will talk about people -pleasing.
23
Boundaries.
24
Self -respect.
25
Guilt.
26
Healing.
27
And learning how to say simple, honest things in English.
28
Because sometimes one sentence can change your whole day.
29
And sometimes one honest sentence can change your whole life.
30
Let me tell you something.
31
Go ahead.
32
Many people think choosing yourself means becoming selfish.
33
Yes.
34
Cold.
35
Yes.
36
Hard.
37
Yes.
38
Rude.
39
Yes.
40
But that is not true.
41
Not true at all.
42
Choosing yourself is not about hurting others.
43
It is about stopping the habit of hurting yourself.
44
That line matters.
45
A lot.
46
If this episode speaks to you, comment, I choose myself, below.
47
And if you agree that simple, honest English is powerful, like this video.
48
Okay.
49
Let's begin with one simple question.
50
Why is it so hard for many people to choose themselves?
51
Good question.
52
I think there are many reasons.
53
Tell me.
54
Fear.
55
Yes.
56
Guilt.
57
Yes.
58
The need to be liked.
59
Big one.
60
The fear of disappointing people.
61
Very big one.
62
The habit of saying yes too fast.
63
Yes.
64
And sometimes something even deeper.
65
What?
66
Some people do not believe their own needs matter.
67
Wow.
68
Too deep?
69
A little deep. But true.
70
Very true.
71
Here's the interesting part.
72
Tell me.
73
Many people do not wake up and say, today I will ignore myself.
74
Of course not.
75
They do it quietly.
76
Yes.
77
They say yes when they mean no. Yes.
78
They stay silent when something hurts.
79
Yes.
80
They smile when they're exhausted.
81
Yes.
82
They keep giving and giving and calling it kindness.
83
That's a strong line.
84
Thank you.
85
And sometimes it is kindness.
86
Yes.
87
But sometimes it's fear dressed like kindness.
88
Wow.
89
Good.
90
Very good.
91
Thank you.
92
Let me ask you something.
93
Okay.
94
Have you ever said yes to something you did not want to do?
95
Too many times.
96
Really?
97
Yes.
98
Give me one example.
99
One time, a friend asked me to help him move on a Sunday.
100
Okay.
101
I was already tired.
102
Yes.
103
I had work to finish.
104
Yes.
105
I needed rest.
106
Yes.
107
I wanted to say no. But?
108
But I smiled and said, sure, no problem.
109
Why?
110
Because I didn't want to look selfish.
111
That's real.
112
Very real.
113
So what happened?
114
I spent the whole day helping.
115
Nice of you.
116
On the outside, yes.
117
And on the inside?
118
On the inside, I was angry.
119
There it is.
120
Yes.
121
That's the dangerous part.
122
Exactly.
123
A fake yes creates hidden anger.
124
Say it again.
125
A fake yes creates hidden anger.
126
Good.
127
Did your friend know you were upset?
128
No. Of course not.
129
I acted fine. And later?
130
Later, I was tired, frustrated, and angry at myself.
131
Not even angry at your friend?
132
A little at him.
133
But more at yourself?
134
Much more.
135
Why?
136
Because the truth is, he asked.
137
Yes.
138
And I answered.
139
Yes.
140
The problem was my answer.
141
That is a painful truth.
142
But an important one.
143
Let me tell you something.
144
I'm listening.
145
Many people are waiting for others to understand their pain without clear words.
146
Wow.
147
They think if people really care, they will just know.
148
But life does not work like that.
149
No. People are not mind readers.
150
Exactly.
151
If you keep saying yes, most people will believe you're yes.
152
Even if your heart is breaking.
153
Yes.
154
This is why clear language matters.
155
In life and in English.
156
Very much.
157
So what could you have said instead?
158
Good question.
159
Yes, tell me.
160
You could say, I'm sorry, I can't this Sunday.
161
Simple.
162
Or, I'd love to help, but I really need to rest.
163
Nice.
164
Or, I have too much on my plate right now.
165
Very useful.
166
Or even, I'm not available this weekend.
167
Short and clear.
168
Exactly. But wait.
169
What?
170
Many people think short and clear sounds rude.
171
only because they are used to over -explaining.
172
Wow.
173
That needed to be said.
174
Yes.
175
A respectful no does not need a long speech.
176
Say it again.
177
A respectful no does not need a long speech.
178
Good.
179
Real -life English needs that sentence.
180
Definitely.
181
Let's talk about another common situation. Which one?
182
Work.
183
Ah, yes.
184
A boss, a co -worker, an extra task, a late message.
185
Very modern pain.
186
Very.
187
So what happens there?
188
A person is already tired.
189
Yes.
190
Already stressed.
191
Yes.
192
Already carrying too much.
193
Yes.
194
Then somebody says, can you do one more thing?
195
The famous one more thing.
196
Exactly.
197
And many people say.
198
Sure.
199
With dead eyes.
200
With dead eyes.
201
That is funny and sad.
202
Very funny and very sad.
203
Let me ask you something.
204
Go ahead.
205
Why do people say yes in that moment?
206
Because they want to look helpful.
207
Yes.
208
Because they are scared of conflict.
209
Yes.
210
Because they think good people always say yes.
211
Huge problem.
212
Because they do not want to lose respect.
213
Ironically, sometimes they lose self -respect instead.
214
Wow.
215
Good line.
216
Very good line.
217
Thank you.
218
So what are better answers in English?
219
Let's build them.
220
Okay.
221
I can help, but I need more time.
222
Good.
223
I'm at capacity right now.
224
A little harder, but useful.
225
For easier English, I already have too much to do.
226
Perfect.
227
I can do it tomorrow, but not today.
228
Nice.
229
I need to finish something else first.
230
Very natural.
231
Can we talk about priorities?
232
Good.
233
These sentences are calm, not rude.
234
Calm English is powerful English.
235
Say it again.
236
Calm English is powerful English.
237
One more time.
238
Calm English is powerful English.
239
Good.
240
Let me tell you a short story.
241
Please do.
242
I knew a woman named Maya.
243
Okay.
244
She was kind, smart, and always ready to help.
245
Sounds lovely.
246
She was lovely. And tired?
247
Very tired. Of course.
248
At work, everyone asked her for help.
249
Because she always said yes?
250
Exactly.
251
What kind of help?
252
Little tasks.
253
Okay.
254
Last -minute work.
255
Okay.
256
Covering for other people.
257
Uh -oh.
258
Fixing other people's mistakes.
259
Bigger uh -oh.
260
And at first, she felt proud.
261
Why?
262
Because she felt needed.
263
Ah.
264
Needed can feel good.
265
Yes.
266
But later, she felt used.
267
That is the shift.
268
Exactly.
269
So what changed?
270
One day, she missed her own deadline because she was busy helping others. That hurts.
271
Yes.
272
What did her manager say?
273
Her manager said, why didn't you focus on your own work first?
274
Wow.
275
That question hit her hard.
276
I can imagine.
277
She realized something painful.
278
What?
279
She was protecting everyone except herself.
280
That line is huge.
281
It is.
282
Say it again.
283
She was protecting everyone except herself.
284
Wow.
285
After that she started using one new sentence which sentence I can't take
286
that on right now Very useful at first she felt guilty of course,
287
but later she felt stronger because guilt is not always a sign You did something wrong yes,
288
sometimes guilt is just the feeling of doing something new beautiful Thank you.
289
Here's the interesting part.
290
Tell me many people think if I feel guilty I must be wrong, but that is not always true exactly sometimes you feel guilty
291
because you're breaking an old unhealthy pattern yes
292
and the heart needs time to learn something new
293
that is why choosing yourself can feel strange at first very strange even
294
when it's right let me ask you something okay what is the difference between selfishness
295
and self -respect good question big question selfishness says only I
296
matter strong self -respect says I matter too Wow short simple true I love
297
that me too say it again selfishness says only I matter
298
and self -respect says I matter too
299
that may be the heart of today's episode I think so
300
but wait what some people listening now may think okay I understand work I understand helping too much
301
but what about relationships very important
302
because many people disappear inside relationships yes romantic relationships friendships family relationships all of them
303
so what does choosing yourself look like there it can look very simple like what it can mean saying
304
that hurt me good I need space nice I can't talk
305
right now very useful I need honesty from you strong I'm not okay with
306
that very important these are not dramatic sentences no they are clear sentences And clear sentences protect the heart.
307
Beautiful.
308
Thank you.
309
Let me tell you something from my own life.
310
Go ahead.
311
A friend of mine used to call me only when she needed something.
312
Oh advice yes time yes support yes energy yes but when i needed her she disappeared that is painful
313
very painful what did you do at first nothing of course
314
i kept acting nice yes i kept telling myself maybe i'm asking for too much common lie very common
315
and then one day she called again and I was already exhausted.
316
Yes.
317
She started talking about her problems for almost an hour.
318
Wow.
319
And when I finally tried to share something from my life, she changed the subject.
320
Ouch.
321
That moment woke me up.
322
I can feel that.
323
After the call, I sat quietly and said something to myself.
324
What did you say?
325
This friendship is feeding her, but draining me.
326
Wow.
327
It was hard to admit.
328
Yes. But true.
329
So what happened next?
330
The next time she called, I answered differently.
331
How?
332
I said, I can talk for 10 minutes, but I don't have much energy today.
333
Good boundary.
334
Very small, but very important.
335
How does she react?
336
She sounded surprised. Of course.
337
Because I had trained her to expect endless access to me.
338
That line is so important.
339
Say it.
340
Sometimes we train people to cross our boundaries because we never show them where the boundary is.
341
Yes.
342
Wow.
343
That hurts, but it helps.
344
Truth often does that.
345
Exactly.
346
Did the friendship change?
347
Yes.
348
For better or worse?
349
At first, awkward.
350
Real.
351
Then clearer.
352
Good.
353
Then calmer.
354
Better.
355
We are not as close now.
356
Is that sad?
357
A little. But?
358
But I feel more peaceful. That matters.
359
A lot.
360
Here is the interesting part.
361
Tell me.
362
Choosing yourself may not keep every relationship.
363
True.
364
But it will reveal which relationships are healthy.
365
Wow.
366
Some people love you.
367
Yes.
368
Some people love your endless availability.
369
Big difference.
370
Huge difference.
371
Let's talk about family.
372
Another hard one.
373
Very hard.
374
Because family can make people feel guilty very fast.
375
Yes.
376
If you say no to a stranger, maybe you feel a little bad.
377
Right.
378
If you say no to family, your whole body may shake.
379
Very true.
380
Why is that?
381
History.
382
Yes.
383
Roles.
384
Yes.
385
Old pain.
386
Yes.
387
Old habits.
388
Yes.
389
And the fear of being called selfish, ungrateful, or cold.
390
That fear is real. So real.
391
What can people say in family situations?
392
I love you, but I can't do that today.
393
Beautiful.
394
I need some rest.
395
Good.
396
I'm not able to help this week.
397
Nice.
398
I understand this matters to you, but I need time to think.
399
Very useful.
400
I can come for a short time, but not all day.
401
That is excellent.
402
Because sometimes people think the only choices are yes or no. But there are many middle choices.
403
Exactly.
404
A short visit.
405
A later call.
406
A smaller favor.
407
A different day.
408
This is important.
409
Yes.
410
Boundaries are not always walls.
411
Nice.
412
Sometimes they're doors with clear hours.
413
That is such a good line.
414
Thank you.
415
Doors with clear hours.
416
I would remember that.
417
Me too. But wait.
418
What?
419
We need to talk about one hidden problem. Which one?
420
Many people do not even know what they want.
421
Oh yes.
422
They are so used to asking, what do others need?
423
That they never ask, what do I need?
424
Exactly.
425
That is huge.
426
So how can somebody choose themselves if they have lost touch with themselves?
427
They have to slow down.
428
Good.
429
Be quiet for a moment.
430
Yes.
431
Notice what feels heavy.
432
Yes.
433
Notice what feels peaceful.
434
Yes.
435
Notice where the resentment lives.
436
Wow.
437
Because resentment is often a clue.
438
Explain.
439
If you keep feeling angry in the same kind of situation, maybe a boundary is missing there.
440
That is brilliant.
441
Thank you.
442
So resentment is not always evil?
443
No. It can be information?
444
Exactly.
445
Information that something is wrong?
446
Yes.
447
Information that you keep abandoning yourself?
448
Yes.
449
That is powerful.
450
Let me ask you something.
451
Go ahead.
452
Have you ever felt resentment and then realized it was pointing to a boundary problem?
453
Absolutely.
454
Tell me.
455
There was a time when people kept calling me late at night.
456
Not for emergencies.
457
Worse.
458
Just random things.
459
Oh, no. Some wanted advice.
460
Yes.
461
Some wanted to complain.
462
Yes.
463
Some were just bored.
464
Very dangerous people.
465
Exactly.
466
What did you do?
467
I always answered. Of course.
468
Because I want to be kind.
469
Yes.
470
But later, I started feeling angry every time my phone lit up at night.
471
That is the resentment clue.
472
Exactly.
473
So what did you realize?
474
I realized I did not hate people.
475
Right.
476
I hated the access.
477
Wow.
478
The unlimited access.
479
That is such an important idea.
480
So I changed one thing.
481
What?
482
I stopped answering late at night unless it was truly important.
483
How did that feel?
484
Awkward at first.
485
Yes.
486
But peaceful later.
487
Peaceful later is one of the best feelings in life.
488
I agree.
489
Let me tell you something.
490
Go ahead.
491
Many good changes feel guilty first and peaceful later.
492
Wow.
493
Say it again.
494
Many good changes feel guilty first and peaceful later.
495
Good.
496
That may help a lot of people.
497
I hope so.
498
Let's move to self -talk.
499
Yes.
500
Because the way people talk to themselves matters. So much.
501
Some people choose everyone else because inside they believe they're less important.
502
Yes.
503
Less valuable.
504
Yes.
505
Less worthy of care.
506
Yes.
507
And that belief shapes everything.
508
It does.
509
What are some harmful self -talk lines?
510
I'm too much.
511
Yes.
512
My needs are a problem.
513
Yes.
514
I should just be grateful.
515
Yes.
516
I don't want to be difficult.
517
Big one.
518
Maybe I'm asking for too much.
519
Huge one.
520
Those sentences keep people small.
521
Very small.
522
So what are better sentences?
523
My needs matter too.
524
Good.
525
I am allowed to rest.
526
Nice.
527
I can be kind without abandoning myself beautiful saying no does
528
not make me bad very important I choose peace over performance
529
that is strong thank you here's the interesting part tell me
530
some people are not addicted to helping oh they are addicted to being needed wow
531
that is deeper much deeper because being needed can feel like proof of value yes
532
but it is a dangerous kind of proof because it never ends exactly
533
if your worth depends on being needed you will never rest
534
and you will secretly need people to stay weak wow
535
that is uncomfortable but true for some people very uncomfortable
536
so what is healthier knowing you have value even
537
when you are resting say it again you have value even
538
when you are resting one more time you have value even
539
when you are resting good let me tell you something funny
540
and sad my favorite kind one time someone asked me what are you doing tonight okay
541
and my first thought was nothing nice
542
and my second thought was i should make up something important
543
so i don't look lazy that is so real
544
so i almost said i have many serious plans very official
545
but the truth was simple which was i was tired
546
and wanted to rest
547
and what did you say i'm staying home tonight i need a quiet evening excellent it felt strange why
548
because part of me thought i had to earn rest ah
549
but rest is not a reward for being almost dead wow
550
too strong no perfect thank you rest is not a reward for being almost dead
551
that line needs to live in people's hearts yes
552
but wait what we should give listeners useful english for choosing
553
themselves in daily life great idea let's make a list inside the conversation okay if you are tired.
554
I need some rest.
555
If you are overwhelmed.
556
I can't take this on right now.
557
If somebody asks for your time.
558
I'm not available today.
559
If you need space.
560
I need a little time to myself.
561
If something hurts.
562
That didn't feel good to me.
563
Softer.
564
I felt hurt when that happened.
565
If you want to leave.
566
I'm going to head home.
567
Very useful.
568
If you disagree.
569
I'm not comfortable with that.
570
Excellent.
571
If you want to pause a conversation.
572
I can't talk about this right now.
573
Good.
574
If you want to protect your energy.
575
I don't have the energy for that today.
576
Very real.
577
These are not dramatic sentences.
578
No. These are simple survival sentences.
579
Yes.
580
Real life English.
581
Exactly.
582
Let's do a role play with boundaries.
583
Okay.
584
Hey, can you help me with something tonight?
585
I'm sorry, I can't tonight.
586
I really need rest.
587
Oh, okay.
588
Maybe tomorrow?
589
Tomorrow is better.
590
Perfect.
591
That was not rude.
592
Not at all.
593
Another one.
594
Okay.
595
Do you want to go out after work?
596
I'd love to, but I'm really tired today.
597
No problem.
598
Maybe another day. That works.
599
Again, calm English.
600
Powerful English.
601
Calm English is powerful English.
602
Good. But wait.
603
What now?
604
Some listeners may say, this all sounds good, but what if people get upset when I choose myself?
605
Good question.
606
Because that really happens.
607
It does.
608
So what then?
609
First, remember this.
610
I'm listening.
611
Someone's disappointment is not always proof that you did something wrong.
612
Wow.
613
Sometimes it is just proof that they wanted more access than was healthy for you.
614
That is powerful.
615
Yes.
616
But it is still hard when people react badly. Of course.
617
So how can people stay calm?
618
Repeat yourself without anger.
619
Good.
620
For example, I understand, but I still can't.
621
Nice.
622
I know this is frustrating, but my answer is still no. Very strong.
623
I care about you, but I need to do what is right for me.
624
Excellent.
625
Calm repetition is a superpower.
626
Say it again.
627
Calm repetition is a superpower.
628
One more time.
629
Calm repetition is a superpower.
630
Good.
631
Let me tell you something.
632
Go ahead.
633
Many people stop setting boundaries because the first reaction is uncomfortable.
634
Yes.
635
But first reactions are not the whole story.
636
True.
637
People can be surprised at first.
638
Yes.
639
Then adjust later.
640
Yes.
641
And if they never adjust… Then maybe the relationship needed truth more than comfort.
642
Wow.
643
Good?
644
Very good.
645
Thank you.
646
Here's the interesting part.
647
Tell me.
648
Choosing yourself does not only change your relationships with others.
649
Oh?
650
It changes your relationship with yourself.
651
That is huge.
652
Every time you tell the truth, even in a small way, you build self -trust.
653
Beautiful.
654
And every time you betray yourself, even in a small way, you weaken that trust.
655
Wow.
656
So this is not only about one dinner, one phone call, one favor.
657
No. It is about the kind of relationship you are building with your own heart.
658
That may be the deepest lesson today.
659
I think so.
660
Let me ask something.
661
Okay.
662
What does self -trust feel like?
663
It feels quiet.
664
Nice.
665
It feels safe.
666
Good.
667
It feels like this.
668
What?
669
If something hurts, I will listen.
670
Wow.
671
If I need rest, I will notice.
672
Yes.
673
If I need space, I will not ignore myself.
674
Beautiful.
675
Self -trust means I stop abandoning myself in small, daily moments.
676
That line is everything.
677
Thank you.
678
Let's talk about another trap. Which one?
679
The need to always look nice.
680
Oh yes.
681
Nice people are loved by everyone.
682
Until they're empty.
683
Exactly.
684
Why do so many people build their whole identity around being nice?
685
Because nice gets approval.
686
Yes.
687
Nice gets smiles.
688
Yes.
689
Nice gets less conflict.
690
Yes.
691
Nice feels safe. But...
692
Nice is not enough if it kills the truth.
693
Wow.
694
You can be kind and honest.
695
Yes.
696
Yes.
697
Warm and clear.
698
Yes.
699
Loving and firm.
700
Yes.
701
People often act like those things cannot live together.
702
But they can.
703
Absolutely.
704
Let me tell you something from school.
705
Okay.
706
There was a girl who always shared her notes.
707
Nice.
708
Always helped everybody.
709
Also nice.
710
Always explained everything.
711
Very kind.
712
But when she needed help, no one came. That hurts.
713
A lot.
714
Why?
715
Because she had built a role.
716
The helper role.
717
Exactly.
718
Not the equal friend role.
719
Yes.
720
So what happened?
721
One day, she stopped giving everything away.
722
Good.
723
She still helped, sometimes.
724
Balanced.
725
But not always.
726
Healthy.
727
And some people got upset. Of course.
728
But something else happened too.
729
What?
730
The real friend stayed.
731
There it is.
732
Yes.
733
When you stop overgiving, you find out who actually cares.
734
Exactly.
735
That is painful but important.
736
Very important. But wait.
737
What?
738
We should talk about loneliness too.
739
Yes.
740
Because choosing yourself can feel lonely at first. So true.
741
Why?
742
Because old patterns gave constant contact.
743
Yes.
744
Constant messages.
745
Yes.
746
Constant requests.
747
Yes.
748
Constant noise.
749
Yes.
750
And when you step back, life becomes quieter.
751
That quiet can feel scary.
752
Very scary.
753
People may think, maybe I made a mistake.
754
Exactly.
755
But maybe they did not make a mistake.
756
Maybe they just met silence for the first time.
757
Wow.
758
And silence can be healing.
759
Even if it feels strange at first.
760
Especially then.
761
Let me tell you something personal.
762
Go ahead.
763
There was a period when I stopped saying yes to every plan.
764
Okay.
765
Suddenly, my weekends became quiet.
766
That sounds nice.
767
It was nice and uncomfortable.
768
Both?
769
Yes.
770
Why uncomfortable?
771
Because I realized I did not know how to be with myself without noise.
772
Oh.
773
That was hard.
774
I understand.
775
I kept reaching for my phone.
776
Yes.
777
Looking for distractions.
778
Yes.
779
Looking for someone to need me.
780
Wow.
781
That was the truth.
782
Thank you for saying it.
783
One weekend, I sat at home and thought, is this peace or emptiness?
784
Big question.
785
Very big.
786
And what was the answer?
787
At first, a little emptiness.
788
Honest.
789
But later, peace.
790
Beautiful.
791
Because I stayed.
792
In the quiet.
793
Yes.
794
That is huge.
795
Many people run from quiet because quiet shows them things.
796
Yes.
797
Their tiredness.
798
Yes.
799
Their sadness.
800
Yes.
801
Their real needs.
802
Yes.
803
But if you stay, quiet can become a friend.
804
That is beautiful.
805
Thank you.
806
Here's the interesting part.
807
Tell me.
808
Choosing yourself is not only saying no to others.
809
Oh.
810
It's also saying yes to your own life.
811
Nice.
812
Yes to rest.
813
Yes to peace.
814
Yes to health.
815
Yes to honesty.
816
Yes to growth.
817
Yes to time.
818
Yes to yourself.
819
That's the positive side.
820
Exactly.
821
This is not only a conversation about limits.
822
No. It's also a conversation about love.
823
Self -love and action.
824
Nice phrase.
825
Thank you.
826
Let's make this very practical.
827
Good.
828
What are ways to choose yourself in daily life?
829
Got bad when you are tired.
830
Good.
831
Eat when you are hungry.
832
Nice.
833
Turn your phone off for a while.
834
Very good.
835
Say no to one thing that drains you.
836
Good.
837
Say yes to one thing that heals you.
838
Nice.
839
Take a walk.
840
Good.
841
Sit in silence.
842
Yes.
843
Drink water.
844
Important.
845
Practice English even if it is only for five minutes.
846
I love that.
847
Because choosing yourself also means choosing your future.
848
Beautiful.
849
Thank you.
850
Let me ask you something.
851
Okay.
852
If someone wants to start today, what is one tiny step they can take tonight?
853
One tiny step?
854
Yes.
855
Sit down quietly and ask one question. Which question?
856
Where am I saying yes while my heart is saying no?
857
Wow.
858
Just one question.
859
That could change a lot.
860
Yes.
861
And after that?
862
Pick one small, honest sentence for tomorrow.
863
Example?
864
I can't tonight.
865
Good.
866
I need some rest.
867
Nice.
868
I'm not available this weekend.
869
Good.
870
I need time to think.
871
Excellent.
872
One small, honest sentence can begin a new season.
873
That line is strong.
874
It is true. But wait.
875
What now?
876
Some people may say, what if I try this and fail?
877
Then try again.
878
Simple.
879
Very simple.
880
Because these patterns are old.
881
Yes.
882
People -pleasing can be very old.
883
Childhood old.
884
Family old.
885
Pain old.
886
Habit old.
887
So change may feel messy. Of course.
888
Maybe one day you say no clearly.
889
Good.
890
The next day you say yes, even when you do not want to. That happens.
891
But that does not mean nothing changed.
892
Exactly.
893
Growth is not clean.
894
Say it again.
895
Growth is not clean.
896
One more time.
897
Growth is not clean.
898
Good.
899
The goal is not perfect boundaries by tomorrow.
900
No. The goal is more truth than before.
901
Beautiful.
902
More self -respect than before.
903
Yes.
904
More peace than before.
905
Yes.
906
More honesty than before.
907
Yes.
908
Let me tell you a short story.
909
Please do.
910
A man I know always felt guilty when he rested.
911
Many people do.
912
If he sat down, he felt lazy.
913
Yes.
914
If he said no, he felt bad.
915
Yes.
916
If he stayed home, he felt like he was wasting time.
917
Very common.
918
One day, he became so tired that he could not ignore it anymore.
919
The body often tells the truth.
920
Exactly.
921
So what happened?
922
He stayed home on a Saturday with no plans.
923
Brave.
924
Very brave for him.
925
What did he do?
926
He slept longer.
927
Nice.
928
Ate a slow breakfast.
929
Good.
930
Took a walk.
931
Peaceful.
932
Read for a while.
933
Beautiful.
934
And at night, he said something interesting.
935
What?
936
He said, I thought rest would make me weak, but it made me feel human again.
937
Wow.
938
That stayed with me.
939
Me too.
940
Because many people are scared of the very thing that can heal them.
941
Rest.
942
Quiet.
943
Honesty.
944
Slower living.
945
Yes.
946
But these things can save a person.
947
They really can.
948
Here is the interesting part.
949
Tell me.
950
Sometimes choosing yourself does not look dramatic at all.
951
True.
952
It looks like turning your phone off.
953
Yes.
954
Going home early.
955
Yes.
956
Eating real food.
957
Yes.
958
Not answering every message immediately.
959
Yes.
960
Telling the truth kindly.
961
Yes.
962
Protecting your morning.
963
Yes.
964
Protecting your sleep.
965
Yes.
966
Protecting your peace.
967
Yes.
968
Small acts.
969
Big effect.
970
Small acts, big effect.
971
Good line.
972
Thank you we are getting close to the big message now
973
yes i can feel it me too before we get there
974
one more question okay what does it really mean to say
975
i choose myself it means i stop making myself last in every room wow it means i listen
976
when something hurts yes i believe my needs are real yes i stopped calling my pain overthinking
977
when it is actually truth powerful i stopped giving from an empty place.
978
Yes.
979
I stop teaching people that they can have endless access to me.
980
Big one.
981
I stop acting like disappearing inside relationships is love.
982
Wow.
983
And I start treating myself like someone worth protecting.
984
That is the climax.
985
Almost.
986
Almost.
987
One more step.
988
Go on.
989
Saying I choose myself does not mean I stop loving people.
990
Right.
991
It means I stop abandoning myself
992
while loving them there it is yes say it again slowly i stop abandoning myself
993
while loving other people that line may change someone's life i hope
994
so because many people think the only choices are these what choices be loving
995
or choose yourself but that is false exactly you can love people
996
and still be honest yes you can be kind and still have limits yes Yes.
997
You can be warm and still walk away from what hurts you.
998
Yes.
999
You can choose yourself without becoming cruel.
1000
That is the healing truth.
1001
Yes.
1002
So if somebody listening right now feels selfish for resting, for saying no, for asking for space, for choosing peace, listen carefully.
1003
Please do.
1004
You are not wrong for protecting your heart.
1005
You are not bad for needing rest.
1006
You are not cold for saying no. Yes.
1007
You are not selfish for wanting peace.
1008
Yes.
1009
You are human.
1010
Beautiful.
1011
And your life matters too.
1012
That's it.
1013
That's it.
1014
Before we end, let's give a simple recap.
1015
Good idea.
1016
Number one, choosing yourself is not selfishness.
1017
It's self -respect.
1018
Number two, a fake yes often creates hidden anger.
1019
Number three, calm, clear English helps protect your peace.
1020
Number four, guilt doesn't always mean you're wrong.
1021
Number five, boundaries show you which relationships are healthy.
1022
Number six, self -trust grows when you stop abandoning yourself.
1023
Number seven, rest is not laziness.
1024
Number eight, choosing yourself is saying yes to your own life.
1025
9. Growth is not clean, but it is still growth.
1026
10. You can love others without leaving yourself behind.
1027
That is a strong list.
1028
It is.
1029
If this conversation touched you, comment, I choose myself, below.
1030
Or comment one sentence you want to use this week.
1031
Maybe, I need rest.
1032
Maybe, I can't tonight.
1033
Maybe, I'm not available this weekend.
1034
Just one honest sentence.
1035
That is enough to begin.
1036
And if you want more real English conversations like this, like this video.
1037
Final question, Sarah.
1038
Okay.
1039
What is one sentence you want people to remember after today?
1040
Mine is this.
1041
Tell us.
1042
Being kind to others should not require being cruel to yourself.
1043
Wow.
1044
What about you?
1045
Mine is simple.
1046
Go ahead.
1047
I choose myself means I matter too.
1048
Beautiful.
1049
Thank you.
1050
Thank you for being here with us.
1051
Thank you for listening.
1052
Protect your peace.
1053
Protect your time.
1054
Protect your sleep.
1055
Protect your heart.
1056
Speak honestly.
1057
Rest without shame.
1058
Love people well.
1059
But do not leave yourself behind.
1060
See you in the next episode.
1061
Bye.
1062
Bye.
1063
Welcome to English Academy Podcast.
✨ Рекомендуемое видео
B12
340 предложений
English Podcast For Easy English Conversation | Talking About Choices | Daily Life English
Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B11
263 предложений
The Power of Saying No | Easy English Listening Practice
Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B11
651 предложений
How To Live For Yourself | Stop Pleasing Everyone And Choose Your Peace | Speak English Fluently ✅️
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B13
319 предложений
Easy English Podcast | Why People Care So Much What Others Think
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B14
163 предложений
Intermediate English Conversation | The Power Of Positivity | (B1) English
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B13
389 предложений
English Podcast for Learning English | How to Build Self-Discipline | A2-B1 Slow English
Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B24
428 предложений
This time I Choose myself No Guilt No Excuses | Easy English podcast | B1-B2 Listening Practice
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B12
70 предложений
Hear it & Say it: Listen and Repeat English Sentences for Speaking Practice
American AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B110
310 предложений
Is Money REALLY Enough to Make You Happy? 💭 English Conversation for Intermediate Learners (A2-B1)
Business EnglishDaily ConversationHigh School Students
B15
637 предложений
Don't Waste Your Life | English Podcast For Learning English | Real Easy English Listening Practice
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
196 предложений
Learn English with Podcast | It's Never Too Late to Start Over | Daily Life English Conversation
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B12
24 предложений
English Through Stories: Choices Made In Silence
Daily ConversationHigh School StudentsUniversity Students
Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку
В этом видео 1063 предложений и 4996 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 31:21. Говорящий говорит в естественном темпе, около 159 слов в минуту, близком к повседневной речи. 89% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка, поэтому лексика простая.
Ключевая лексика этого видео
15 менее частых слов из видео с произношением и значением:
- boundary /ˈbaʊndɹi/ (существительное) — грани́ца, межа́. The dividing line or location between two areas.
- painful /ˈpeɪn.fl̩/ (прилагательное) — боле́зненный, мучи́тельный. Causing pain or distress, either physical or mental.
- abandon /əˈbæn.dən/ (глагол) — отка́зываться, оставля́ть. To give up or relinquish control of, to surrender or to give oneself over, or to yield to one's emotions.
- uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/ (прилагательное) — неудо́бный, некомфорта́бельный. Not comfortable; causing discomfort.
- guilt /ɡɪlt/ (существительное) — вина́, вино́вность. Responsibility for wrongdoing.
- heal /ˈhiːl/ (глагол) — лечи́ть, вы́лечить. To make better from a disease, wound, etc.; to revive or cure.
- selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/ (прилагательное) — эгоисти́чный. Holding one's own self-interest as the standard for decision making.
- resentment /ɹɪˈzɛnt.mənt/ (существительное) — негодова́ние, возмуще́ние. Anger or displeasure stemming from belief that one or one's group has been wronged or betrayed by others; indignation.
- anger /ˈæŋɡə/ (существительное) — гнев, злость. A strong and unpleasant feeling of displeasure, hostility, or antagonism, usually combined with an urge to yell, curse, damage or destroy things, or harm…
- rude /ɹuːd/ (прилагательное) — гру́бый, неве́жливый. Lacking in refinement or civility; bad-mannered; discourteous.
- habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/ (существительное) — привы́чка, обы́чай. An action performed on a regular basis.
- quietly /ˈkwaɪ.ɪt.li/ (наречие) — ти́хо, сми́рно. Producing little or no noise.
- honesty /ˈɑ.nɪ.sti/ (существительное) — че́стность, добросовестность. The act, quality, or condition of being honest.
- ignore /ɪɡˈnɔː/ (глагол) — игнори́ровать, проигнори́ровать. To deliberately not listen or pay attention to.
- silence /ˈsaɪ̯ləns/ (существительное) — тишина́, молча́ние. The absence of any sound.
Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите
- talk about (глагол) — ну и, вот э́то. Used to draw attention to the speaker's characterization of someone or something.
- go ahead /ˌɡoʊ əˈhɛd/ (глагол) — дава́й, приступа́йте. To proceed with; to begin.
- ask for (глагол) — проси́ть, попроси́ть. To request; to order.
- look for (глагол) — иска́ть, поиска́ть. To seek.
- sit down (глагол) — сади́ться, сесть. To assume a sitting position from a standing position.
- find out (глагол) — узнава́ть, узна́ть. To discover, as by asking or investigating.
- go on /ˈɡoʊˌɒn/ (глагол) — продолжа́ть, продо́лжить. To continue in extent.
- go out (глагол) — выходи́ть, вы́йти. To leave, especially a building.
Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание
Говорящий использует 47 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например I'm, can't, don't. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.
- Звуки «th»: worthy /ˈwɝ.ði/, unhealthy /ʌnˈhɛl.θi/
- Звуки «sh» и «zh»: selfish /ˈsɛlf.ɪʃ/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, shake /ˈʃeɪk/, distraction /dɪsˈtɹæk.ʃən/, selfishness /ˈsɛl.fɪʃ.nəs/
- Длинные слова — следите за ударением: uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, priority /pɹaɪˈɒɹɪti/, differently /ˈdɪf.ə.ɹənt.li/, availability /əˌveɪ.ləˈbɪl.ɪ.ti/, unlimited /ʌnˈlɪm.ɪ.tɪd/
Как заниматься с этим видео
- Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
- Начните со скорости 0,75×, повторяйте предложение за предложением и вернитесь к обычной скорости, когда станет легко.
- Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как boundary, painful, abandon.
Грамматика в этом видео
Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:
| Конструкция | В видео |
|---|---|
| Условные предложения if + предложение, will/would + глагол — условие и его результат | if people really care, they will just · If something hurts, I will listen · If I need rest, I will notice |
| «Used to» used to + глагол — прошлая привычка или состояние, которых больше нет | used to call · used to asking |
| Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает | be liked · be said · was already exhausted |
| Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас | have said · have lost |
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.