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more than the past

and the present like right now really fucking matters you yourself have to know

that you're enough do i have to cost like contribute in order to keep the pieces i have what's

so bad about being normal when you feel like you're not equal to someone

and you feel less than someone the easiest way to compensate that is to feel superior right

hi guys welcome back to my channel today we're gonna be

doing a book review okay i just finished this book this book was extremely popular

when i went online also when i went to the bookstore i saw

that there was more than 14 million copies sold worldwide i was like okay let's check this out

and for those who don't know like usually with these like

sort of like mindset type of books philosophical sort of books i don't usually purchase them

because a lot of times like i feel like i know

a lot of things the context of this is mainly like a like japanese sort of culture

so it kind of opened my eyes in a sort of way

and i felt like this book gave me a lot of good insights

but at the same time there are some criticism i would

make about this book i just want to make a disclaimer

this is coming from my own experience like you know this

is just my opinion you don't have to agree with it

i think it's more like a mindset tool sort of book to be used alongside like psychological psychological manuals like

if you have like certain traumas and navigating

that i would not recommend just reading this like i would

recommend getting like some some professional to help you guide through this

so do not just rely on this if you're going through something like traumatic

because i don't think it does an extremely good job with

that but for mindset wise i think

that this is a pretty okay book sorry

if i'm gonna be looking at my laptop

because i literally make an entire google doc how many pages

is this even five pages okay like i wrote it down

i marked it up you can even see in here i like marked everything up

if you look here it's like a dialogue between like a philosopher

and also like a youth and it goes through a span of five nights

so you know every single night there's kind of like a like a lesson like a theme

so the book is called the courage to be disliked by ichiro kishimi

and fumitake koka first night where the youth went into the

philosopher's room they were having this conversation the conversation is denying

trauma it's only holding you back that's what it said

and i wrote down according to the book our need to hold on to trauma is mainly

because it either makes us feel like we belong

or makes us feel significant and it says

that this might not be like a bad thing

but they were saying that if you hold on to your trauma for too long

or you hold on to your past you can't move forward

and they also mentioned how like in the book the future doesn't matter the past doesn't matter

because the future is not here yet in the past you cannot let it hold you back

and what only matters right now is now and here are some quotes

that i thought were kind of interesting they said also on page 10 they said

that the youth was like so you're saying the past doesn't matter philosopher said yes

that is the standpoint of all day all there all all adlerian adlery i don't know how to pronounce

that word adlerian psychology mainly mentioned that we do not think about past causes

but rather about present goals the youth mentioned

that i have a friend who doesn't leave the house like

how can you not leave the house like i'm trying everything trying to get him to leave the house

and the philosopher was saying that it's because your friend is insecure

so he doesn't want to go out

so he's creating a state of anxiety philosopher saying

that think about this way your friend had the goal of not going out beforehand

and he's been manufacturing a state of anxiety

and fear as a means to achieve

that goal in this chapter they were mainly saying that everything

that you do there's a goal so for example they also mentioned

that like if there's a friend that you don't really like

so you're starting to pick at their flaws being like this

is wrong with her this is wrong with her like you're picking at her flaws

but your ultimate goal is because you don't want to be associated with

that person anymore because maybe they make you feel insecure they make you feel inferior

and then there was another quote on page 37 saying that

if only i can be like what if only i can be like sam

if only i can be like jennifer is an excuse to yourself for not changing

and so i wrote down saying

that you may not be aware of you doing this

but you set these limitations on yourself without even realizing to

fill a subconscious goal the constant blaming on comparison leading to never wanting to change just

so you don't ever have to face change and that's interesting also

because like sometimes like i'm sure we all do this where

we compare right we compare like oh i can never be

like xyz i think sometimes we realize it's doing a lot of harm

when you say that because the truth is

that you can never become the exact replica of that person

so you saying i can never achieve

that you can never be like xyz yeah because you can't be xyz

because you are you you can't be that person

so you sitting saying this it's kind of just make yourself feel better like oh

because no you can't become like them but the thing is

that what they're doing you could do it too you just have to change your mindset

so the main key takeaway from this the first lesson one

which is the first night is that your life is decided right now it's not

because of the past it's not because of the present

and it also mentioned

that you have the power to choose your own destiny it's

not about what you did in the past what you're going

to do in the future what's important it's just what you

do right now however going through this book the first lesson

i also was collecting like reviews on what people said online

and also how i felt about the book as well i do think

that this book feels very straightforward especially for the first chapter it's kind of like just reframe this entire trauma

and move on and i feel like it's not that simple

because you know i'm sure we all go through certain stuff just speaking for myself like yes i know

100

that what happened in the past doesn't matter like you know you go through certain shit

101

and it's like i moved on you know

102

but it took a lot of emotional work to move on from

103

that i wouldn't say that like you know i just denied it just whatever

104

that happened because when you do that you repress a lot of it

105

and it's gonna backfire sooner or later you have to regulate

106

that you have to you know like go through that

107

and the thing is that going through trauma it's not like a purely conscious sort of thing

108

because like some people get like you know triggered they can't control themselves being triggered

109

so i feel like this book does feel more like you

110

can control a lot of things like yes you can

111

but there are certain things

112

that you can't really the context of this feels very like like black

113

and white you know what i mean but it's not always black

114

and white in the book they also mention life is very simple

115

which i get it's a good mentality sort of thing but i think

116

psychologically like a lot of trauma these sort of things it's not always black

117

and white you know what i mean

118

which is why i say yeah this book is a good

119

mindset tool book than like a like a psychological manual sort of thing yeah

120

so i said that dismissive of real trauma can feel validated

121

or harmful i think that is a criticism i would make for

122

that because i don't think that things are just always that

123

that simple it's also like the cultural context of this book i feel is very underexplored you have to know

124

that this is written like in like a japanese context where

125

like i wrote down social harmony duty group belonging like you know like everyone together

126

so it's very different from like western culture where it's like

127

very individualism like you know capitalism hustle culture like it's very

128

different this book definitely emphasizes a lot of like group belonging as well

129

so that's just something to keep in mind but i do think

130

that this book at least for me it did shine a

131

light in like imagine you're just in the dark right this

132

book kind of does feel like you're shining a light like you might not agree with everything

133

that it shines of light

134

but you're very intrigued by the colors right you're like oh

135

wow this is kind of interesting i don't feel you agree with

136

that but that's interesting okay so let's move on to the second night

137

which is lesson two they said

138

that all problems are interpersonal problems let me just quickly search up the definition of interpersonal

139

so it's relating to relation or communication between people

140

so kind of like society it's like all your problems are just between people right

141

so it basically says that alder all i can't pronounce

142

that word ad larian philosophy believes that we are not fulfilled in our life

143

because we don't fulfill our life's task okay and they said

144

that life's tasks are basically the things

145

that we do to fulfill our objective to belong

146

and feel important right in society since these objectives only exist within society itself it follows

147

that all our life tasks are within people since we're in a society right

148

and thus all our problems are interpersonal so some quotes

149

that i mentioned was that on page 48 they mentioned

150

but even when all those wishes are fulfilled in many cases nothing about their situations changes at all

151

so they're saying

152

that basically like you might be like oh i just need to get to a good college

153

and once you get to college you still have problems like you think

154

that your problems will end but it wouldn't like i just need to get

155

that one job

156

and at the end there's still gonna be problems i think this quote was mainly mentioning

157

that like that's not your main issue in life it's

158

because of you know your relationship with others it's mainly saying

159

that like you know a lot of your problems like stems from your relationship with others

160

and also they said that on page 66 it says

161

that how to compensate for the part

162

that is lacking the healthiest way is to try

163

and compensate through striving and growth and they also say

164

that the feeling of inferiority isn't necessarily a bad thing

165

if you use it to improve i mentioned

166

that i don't fully agree with that point like constantly trying to strive

167

and grow because

168

that can easily lead to burnout right i think i mentioned

169

another journal entry of mine where it's like it's good to constantly improve right i do think

170

that it's considered toxic positivity as well

171

if you're constantly trying to improve you're never fulfilled there's always something

172

that you're lacking

173

if you're constantly trying to improve right i feel like it's

174

important to shift your mentality to i am enough right now there's something

175

that i do want to improve that i can work on

176

but i am enough right now it just didn't really agree with how they wrote

177

that because read it again to compensate for the part

178

that is lacking the healthiest way is try to compensate i feel

179

that sentence to me just sounds like there's always something wrong with you

180

and that you always need to fix something right they were mentioning

181

that to have a good relationship with other people is

182

that you have to view other people as comrades okay

183

because sometimes we go about like viewing everyone as our enemy right

184

so it says that on page 77 they said

185

that before you know what you start to see each

186

and every person everyone in the whole world as your enemy

187

and so i said that if there's constant competition

188

and people's relationship they will not be able to escape relationship problems

189

so hence you have inferiority complexes superiority complexes and usually you know

190

when you feel inferior when you feel like you're not equal to someone

191

and you feel less than someone the easiest way to compensate

192

that is to feel superior right that's how you can even

193

exist that's how you feel like you have space right it's

194

like a coping mechanism you know it's a very unhealthy coping mechanism

195

but that's what people do when they don't have confidence in themselves right

196

and another quote in there was that you start to think

197

that everyone are always looking down on you even

198

if you're not the loser but even

199

if you're winning like you're not the loser

200

but you're winning you'll never have a moment of peace since you don't want to lose

201

so you're constantly have to win living in competition

202

which is why you can't be doing things with like trying to always win

203

or trying to do things for recognition right you perceive other people's happiness as my defeat

204

and that is why you can't celebrate it

205

which is why you have to let go of competition to truly be happy for others

206

because if you view everyone as your enemy it makes life very very difficult to live you know

207

and it's hard

208

because sometimes you live in a society where maybe other people view you as competition let's say

209

that you feel like oh i am fulfilled in myself you have to build this sort of security with yourself

210

and you can't think about what other people are thinking like oh she must think she's

211

so much more superior than me she must think

212

that she's like the shit you know because like that way it's

213

that mentality itself you're already in like a sort of competition sort of mindset

214

so this was something that was interesting

215

that i thought was really good to mention

216

because it's true like you shouldn't view everyone as your enemy

217

because that can get quickly exhausting and then they mentioned

218

that anger is a form of communication personally for me i don't have anger issues

219

so i do think

220

that maybe people who have anger issues might have a different take on this

221

but i thought it was kind of interesting when they said

222

that because on page 88 says that it's not

223

that you mustn't get angry

224

but there's no need to rely on the tool of anger they also said

225

that they quote the moment one is convinced

226

that i am right in an interpersonal relationship one has already stepped into a power struggle

227

you believe the other is wrong so you feel like you have to win

228

and when you're hung up on winning

229

and losing you lose the ability to make the right choices yes it kind of clouds your judgment

230

and on page 101 it says that

231

so i'm making up flaws in other people just

232

so i can avoid my life task and furthermore

233

so i can avoid interpersonal relationships and i wrote down

234

which i mentioned before is that you have a goal disliking someone

235

and then start looking for their flaws to dislike someone

236

because to dislike someone

237

that is your goal that's where you're looking for the flaws

238

um running away by thinking others are like my enemy and

239

so the key takeaway from lesson two is they said

240

that all your problems are personal problems like it's just relationship with others

241

and it is impossible to escape from these problems these like relationship society sort of problems

242

so here comes my criticism i do think

243

that is interesting i do think that you can't really escape interpersonal problems

244

that i agree with

245

because it's like you know society you're always gonna be interacting with people i do think

246

that this ignores a lot of things ignores structural economic health

247

issues like neurological like those sort of problems like these are the realities

248

and i feel like this is like i don't know

249

if the words i would use to is like nuanced

250

but ignores those problems you know i mean it's not just about people there's a lot of things

251

that happens and i think that they say that um burnout

252

and anxiety you know this is all due to relationship problems like yes i agree

253

but it's also due to financially you know like people can't

254

get a certain job people can't pay their rent like all of

255

that interpersonal is not the only access

256

that exists in this world like there's a lot of other things

257

that exist that makes people like unhappy but i do think

258

that i do agree with a lot of things that they say

259

which is which makes me think picking out flaws at certain people

260

because you have to achieve a certain goal

261

and that's very true at least for my case

262

because sometimes like with people that fully have faith in even

263

if they have flaws i don't really mind

264

but sometimes you just have people that you don't really like

265

and then you like pick out the flaws

266

because your goal is to dislike them

267

and i'm like that's very interesting never thought about that i think

268

that that is just some of the criticism that i have for

269

that just going through it really fast

270

so lesson three okay the third night is

271

that you should discard other people's tasks

272

or like you know what other people are doing in their

273

life i'm sure for all of us like we all want

274

this desire to be recognized right we want validation from others

275

we want to be praised we don't want people to dislike us they mainly said

276

that living like a life that you're just constantly focused on having to be recognized

277

and be liked is very unfulfilling and

278

that is not the definition of true freedom because like once

279

that recognition like is gone

280

so does your drive right the book quotes the desire for recognition makes you unfree

281

which is what the philosopher said they're saying that

282

if you truly want true freedom in life you have to

283

be free from your desire of wanting recognition from others

284

so on page 118 they mainly mentioned

285

that you know you shouldn't live to satisfy other people's expectations like why would you do

286

that you know i mean let's say like the room has like 10 people

287

and you want to make everyone happy you want everyone to like you

288

and you're just living according to what they want you to do that's really restrictive

289

and you conform way too much in society

290

that you kind of just lose who you are as a

291

person you can't get mad at people for not living to your life's expectations i think

292

that we just shouldn't take things too personally people all have

293

their own shit going on you shouldn't try to conform to someone else's palette

294

and they don't need to conform to your palette as well

295

if you're trying to constantly cater to other people's palette

296

that is sort of just kind of like you're entrusting like

297

your own life to other people like think about how sad

298

that is like your own fucking life you're putting it into the hands of others that's just crazy

299

so on page 44 they mentioned

300

that what exactly is real freedom then being disliked by someone means

301

that you are acting according to your own freedom this lesson was mainly saying

302

that you are responsible for living the life for yourself it is good to be assisting someone

303

and encouraging someone to fulfill their own life tasks you have to realize

304

that someone else's task is their own you shouldn't do it for them you shouldn't interfere

305

but you could help i feel like this could risk encouraging

306

people being like i don't care i don't care i think

307

that there's a difference between like not being ruled by approval

308

and like setting healthy boundaries compared to like just not caring at all

309

because i feel like that could make you seem very distant

310

and cold in society as well

311

so i think overall like i do agree like you shouldn't

312

live to what people want you to do that's very important

313

and just realizing like your life is your life like whatever

314

you want to do like even for me now i still

315

have to constantly remind myself like my life is my life

316

like i can't be doing shit to make other people happy a really good point they mentioned was

317

that how you should view life like like all relationships are horizontal meaning

318

that we're all equal sometimes we view relationship kind of like vertical where it's like oh he's better than me

319

and she's below me i think that doing

320

that can make you feel kind of inferior sometimes like it's just like oh i'm not as good as them

321

and yes i get it like in certain social contexts like

322

in work settings like i get it you have higher -ups

323

you have jobs you know you have higher -ups you have positions

324

that i get at the same time don't put yourself worth like i'm not as worthy as

325

that person that was very interesting because i never thought of it like

326

that like we should view everyone as horizontal sometimes like i tend to do

327

that i'll be oh that person is so much better than me

328

and this book highly encourages everyone to view relationships as horizontal

329

that was something

330

that was very new to me anyway going to the fourth

331

night where the center of the world is they were mainly talking about how we contribute to society

332

and also how the ultimate goal of all interpersonal relationship is this community feeling

333

because it said that like separating like your task and drawing boundaries

334

and one's relationship leads to loneliness and individualism you can see

335

that this book's context is like in like japanese culture where

336

everyone's like very harmony like everyone's together like at least for me i'm like i don't mind having healthy boundaries

337

and being by myself on page 169 they said

338

that you are not the center of the world other people are not living to your expectations

339

because if you if you become like annoyed

340

that people are not living to your expectations it's kind of

341

very delusional i'm not talking about like basic respect okay i'm just talking about like you get on train

342

and you're like oh why isn't this person letting me sit there how dare they not get up

343

and let me sit there you know what i mean stuff like

344

that you're not living to satisfy other people's expectations

345

and at the same time they don't need to satisfy yours

346

on page 180 they were talking about do not rebuke

347

or praise they were saying

348

that complimenting like being like good job especially like a parent to like a kid

349

or like any sort of relationships they said

350

that complimenting is creating a hierarchical hierarchy oh i can't say

351

that word hierarchy hierarchical whatever relationship meaning

352

that creating like a vertical relationship like i mentioned they said

353

that one praises to manipulate instead you should encourage your gratitude offer respect assist

354

but don't interfere because you allow other people to resolve their own challenges

355

when i say like good job to my friends i'm not

356

gonna lie it isn't kind of like a like a kiddish

357

like a childish tone i mean i don't mean to manipulate

358

but i can see why that might come across like

359

that on page 181 they said that

360

if you wish to be praised by someone then you're viewing all relationships as vertical like meaning

361

that you're just constantly seeking recognition from others you're seeking this validation you're seeing external validation from others

362

because you yourself never feel like you're enough on page 185 this is the encouragement approach they said

363

that the more one is praised by another person the more one forms the belief

364

that one has no ability

365

if you're constantly living off of other people like praising you

366

like what's the point like you yourself have to know

367

that you're enough

368

if you're just constantly doing things just for the approval of others it's a very tough life to live like

369

that and so then we would go into like how to feel you have value

370

so on page 189 it says

371

that i am of use to someone the author is mainly saying that

372

if you feel you have value you have to feel like

373

you can contribute to society one can act in the community finding purposes

374

and serving others not seeking external validation i think

375

that they're mainly saying that you shouldn't seek like recognition

376

but you should contribute

377

when you contribute you find your own purpose you have value that's what the book is saying

378

and then um page 197 it says that

379

if you feel like you don't know how to build horizontal relationships with others

380

because you constantly view relationships as vertical you should try to

381

build a horizontal relationship with at least just one person just try

382

and do that with a singular person on page 210 they were talking about difference between self -affirmation

383

and self -acceptance self -affirmation is like you scoring like a 60 on a test

384

and if it's self -affirmation it just happened to get unlucky this time around

385

and the real me is just 100 and then self -acceptance is

386

that how should i go about getting closer to 100

387

and they said that it's very important for you to accept the you now

388

and then you slowly improve so he said

389

that like self -affirming is making suggestions to oneself such as i can do it

390

or i am strong even when something is simply beyond one's ability is a notion

391

that can bring about a superiority complex may even be termed a way of living in

392

which one lies to itself with self -acceptance on the other hand

393

if if one cannot do something one is simply accepting one's incapable self as is in moving forward

394

so that one can do whatever one can it is not a way of lying to oneself

395

and they also said that like no one is perfect do you recall

396

when i was explained the pursuit of superiority

397

that all people are in this condition of wanting to improve

398

put the other way around there's no such thing as a hundred percent person i do think

399

that both can kind of coexist at the same time now

400

this is just my take i think you can affirm yourself being like like i got this

401

and the more you believe in yourself the more you can

402

become what you want to be that's just my take i think you can also accept yourself

403

but you can also affirm yourself at the same time

404

so then my criticism to this chapter is i agree with

405

a lot of points okay not like i agree with a lot of points

406

but i do consider this entire book very very interesting i do think

407

that this does feel just a little bit like people pleasing

408

in a way like repackage people pleasing what really stuck out to me

409

that i couldn't fully understand was how like they kept saying

410

like to feel you have value to feel you have worth is

411

that you have to contribute to society all the time i

412

get it like you want to be nice to people

413

that makes you feel good that gives you meaning

414

but meaning itself doesn't equate to happiness happiness depends on contribution

415

but what happens

416

when you can't contribute do you automatically just feel unhappy like what about elderlies you know what

417

if they are too old to do anything what happens then

418

they also mentioned something about like acting versus being i can't remember what that was

419

but they also mentioned like the distinction between the two being

420

as in like just yourself has a lot of worth compared to like acting

421

when i was reading

422

that i was like what about self -directed happiness what about

423

happiness as i am okay right now i'm allowed to be

424

happy right now even though i'm not doing anything what they mentioned is

425

that this is the the order they were like contribute feel worthy feel happy

426

and i don't think

427

that is a way for sustainable living i think sustainable well -being it's more

428

so happy worthy contribute right i think

429

that order of things is kind of weird to me i said

430

that happiness doesn't come from contributing to other contribution can express happiness

431

when you already have it especially for jobs right it's like

432

if you have to constantly contribute contribute and contribute

433

and contribute reading this kind of makes you feel like do

434

i have to constantly contribute in order to keep the peace

435

that i have like the more i read it i just

436

couldn't agree with it i don't need to feel like i

437

have value just to contribute the key takeaway from this chapter was meant saying

438

that like you're not the center of the world

439

and you shouldn't try to go gain recognition from others you're

440

just gonna feel very lacking in society instead of like just

441

like constantly focusing on yourself you should focus on other people

442

as well as a whole that's what the this chapter has been saying

443

and maybe i'm just like very like individualistic i'm just very

444

thinking from like a western sort of standpoint i think it's

445

just interesting like to think about like this book is written in a japanese culture setting

446

so it's like you know definitely like culture wise

447

or like the certain viewpoint wise it just doesn't align maybe that's why

448

so lesson five which is the last one is basically saying

449

that you need to live in the present okay the present is all you have it's very important

450

which i agree i think it's also just reiterating the fact that You know, you need to contribute to society.

451

It's mainly saying that you cannot achieve much if you are unhappy with yourself, okay?

452

And they're saying that you can be happy when you are basically contributing to society.

453

On page 214, they said that like you cannot have doubt in your interpersonal relationships.

454

They were saying that when you have doubt in relationships, other people can sense it.

455

Other people are going to be like, oh, she doesn't have confidence in me.

456

That you cannot build deep, meaningful relationships.

457

And they were saying that you need to have like this sort of like unconditional confidence in people.

458

I agree with some point, which is that you shouldn't have like constant doubt in people

459

because like if you're constantly down in people it's very hard to build any sort of relationship

460

but i think it's a healthy sort of thing to just

461

have like a bit like not having a total confidence like total trusting going in there

462

because that can easily get yourself hurt i just don't think things are as black

463

and white having confidence in people is important you could have confidence in people

464

but also just be protective of yourself where you don't like

465

give them your credit card number anyways page 220 they said

466

that those who view others as enemies have not attained self -acceptance

467

and not confidence in others that i agree you shouldn't view everyone as your enemy me

468

because if you do

469

that it's very exhausting we should be viewing other people as

470

our not like everyone as our friends i don't think that's necessary at least for me

471

but better to just view everyone as neutral

472

and then on page 243 they said

473

that the courage to be normal people might reject normalcy

474

because you equate it as being incapable

475

and the author saying how like you know you need to view everyone like horizontal relationship everyone's equal i agree

476

because what's so bad about being normal in this day

477

and age especially in you're like like everyone wants to be

478

better than each other you know nobody wants to be normal

479

there's nothing wrong with being normal on page 243 they were mainly saying

480

that life is a series of moments like as in like

481

life is a series of dots life is not like a

482

line linear line where you go from 8 .8 to point

483

b back then i used to do view life as like

484

a fucking line like once i get to college i'm good

485

but the fact is that life is not like that

486

when you view life as linear it's very not as exciting

487

so on page 253 they said that shine a light on here

488

and now and they said that

489

because you shine such a dim light in the present you can see the past in the present

490

but if you focus

491

so much on the present shining a bright ass fucking light at the present moment you cannot see the past

492

or the present

493

that i thought was a good point i go about life

494

like yes i'll plan a bit for the future it's not

495

like i don't care about the future i'm not gonna lie the past does hold me back sometimes

496

but going through

497

that like you know it requires a lot of like self internal work on page 256 it says

498

that life is always simple nothing to get too serious about

499

and how you just need to work earnestly you need to

500

give meaning to your seemingly meaningless life they're saying this life has no meaning

501

but you have to give meaning to it page 261 the

502

quote was let's dance in earnest in moments of the here

503

and now you just need to constantly be dancing in life like just dancing

504

and just moving and just living in the moment page 263 they were saying

505

that the philosopher was giving advice to the youth leave my final advice to you is

506

that start now no regard to whether people are cooperative

507

or not and that is something

508

that i'm trying to embody myself i'm not gonna lie i

509

started recently to care about what people think i'm like oh

510

people are gonna judge me people are gonna do xyz

511

but the truth is

512

that nobody gives a this is your life you're a tiny speck in this grand universe

513

and we are our worst critics like you know yeah maybe people are judging

514

but so what this is your life you get to do whatever you want

515

but the truth is that if you shift your mentality

516

and be like i don't really care this is just my life

517

and you just constantly do it people might judge you

518

but the more you do it people are just gonna be

519

like oh this is just this person okay whatever you know maybe

520

when you do something a bit different everyone's gonna be oh my god she's doing something a little different

521

but as time goes on it's just nobody cares

522

so the key takeaway i'll say for this last one is

523

that you have to give meaning to your meaningless life to

524

serve society they did also mention in the book saying

525

that like contribution to others shouldn't be self -sacrifice

526

which i agree you shouldn't try to like become

527

or conform into society to contribute right but i don't think

528

that happiness just comes from contributing to society i think you

529

can have happiness just by yourself anyways this is one of the very first books like mindset sort of books

530

that actually kind of gave me a new perspective on things

531

i think one of the major key takeaways for me is

532

that right now matters more than the past

533

and the present like right now really fucking matters

534

and also like kind of view everyone as equals horizontal relationships

535

instead of viewing everything as vertical you can't be putting yourself below people

536

and thinking that you're inferior compared to others

537

because that's a very hard life to live

538

and it just makes you live like very small

539

and yeah you shouldn't do things constantly being like oh what would they think just be yourself

540

when you're constantly thinking about whether people will like it

541

or not it really holds you back it makes life very difficult to live

542

and just you know just not care

543

but there's certain things you want to do don't conform to

544

like oh well they might not like it it's something i

545

agree as well as just life is meaningless for me life means more

546

so you can have your own sort of definition i just

547

feel like life is just experience you're here to just feel

548

like time is slowly passing also people don't own you you

549

can't expect a good act certain way like i think that's very entitled again like i said this

550

so many times this book is more

551

so like a mindset the short thing like of course life is not always something

552

but it makes it easier to live in

553

when you view life as something like hey today i'm just gonna do xyz xyz xyz

554

because i feel like a lot of things in life get

555

too much in our head like sometimes it's just going to

556

a cafe to journal with somebody oh my god what do people think of me

557

when i go out people are gonna judge me oh my

558

god what happens xyz like yes some things are logical

559

but i do think that

560

when you put life a bit more simpler it's easier for

561

the mind you know you wore a pretty dress instead of

562

being oh my god i hate the way my body looks oh my god why do i look like

563

that oh my god those i hate this like what would

564

people think about it instead of just being like this is a pretty black dress

565

and i'm wearing it and i feel good and

566

i do think that we shouldn't constantly trying to seek approval from others

567

because i have moments where i feel very confident where i can say

568

that with my whole chest but sometimes when i say

569

that right now at this moment it's kind of hard for me to embody that

570

because i'm feeling a little insecure i care what people think

571

i do feel like having a very good support system in society having friends

572

and stuff it makes you more confident

573

because you have someone to fall back on you have people

574

who can relate to you understand you be there for you it's important for you to just realize

575

that you can do what you want

576

and you shouldn't set these limitations on yourself

577

because at the end your mind is the worst prison like you can cage yourself very easily

578

and you have to be pay attention to

579

that you have to just lay yourself out

580

and you have to just be like i don't care i

581

can do whatever i want this is my life i set

582

my own rules i can become whoever i want the only limitation is yourself

583

but yeah that's basically a review on this book let me know

584

if there's anything you want me to read

585

and review on it this was something

586

that was really interesting i do want to make more of

587

these book reviews for this channel i'm talking about it

588

and of course like you don't have to agree with everything

589

i've said it's like open for discussion i might change my

590

mind about something like you guys can't you know comment something

591

and i might be like oh wait actually

592

that might be right like i can go from agree to disagree

593

or disagree to agree it's just open discussion like i'm not

594

saying i'm the one that's only right this is just how i feel at this present moment

595

but yeah anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this video let me know what you guys think

596

and um yeah i'll see you guys all very soon

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Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

Этот урок разговорной практики уровня B2 построен на видео «The Courage to be Disliked Summary + my honest review». В этом видео 596 предложений и 6958 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 26:11. 87% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка, поэтому лексика простая.

Ключевая лексика этого видео

Самые сложные слова из видео (15), с произношением и значением:

Слово	Произношение	Значение
interpersonal прилагательное		межли́чностный
flaw существительное	/flɔ/	тре́щина, щель
mindset существительное	/ˈmaɪn(d)ˌsɛt/	склад ума́, о́браз мы́слей
fulfill глагол	/fʊlˈfɪl/	исполня́ть, испо́лнить
horizontal прилагательное	/ˌhoɹəˈzɑn.təl/	горизонта́льный
trauma существительное	/ˈtɹɔm.ə/	тра́вма, ра́на
philosopher существительное	/fəˈlɑsəfɚ/	фило́соф
compensate глагол	/ˈkɑm.pənˌseɪt/	компенси́ровать, возмеща́ть
dislike глагол	/dɪsˈlaɪk/	не люби́ть, невзлюби́ть
conform глагол	/kənˈfɔɹm/	соотве́тствовать, быть подобным
expectation существительное	/ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/	ожида́ние
vertical прилагательное	/ˈvɝ.tɪ.kəl/	вертика́льный, отве́сный
shine глагол	/ʃaɪn/	свети́ть, сия́ть
validation существительное	/ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/	ратифика́ция, утвержде́ние
mentality существительное	/mɛnˈtæləti/	менталите́т, склад ума́

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Слово	Произношение	Значение
write down глагол		запи́сывать, записа́ть
go out глагол		выходи́ть, вы́йти
move forward глагол		продвига́ть, продви́нуть
pick out глагол		выковы́ривать, вы́ковырять
get up глагол		поднима́ться, подня́ться
look down on глагол		смотре́ть свысока́, презира́ть
make up глагол	/ˌmeɪk ˈʌp/	составля́ть, соста́вить
run away глагол		сматываться, убега́ть

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Present Perfect Continuous have/has been + -ing — действие началось раньше и продолжается	he's been manufacturing · has been saying
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	is called · be associated · is decided
Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете	those who don · friend who doesn · people who have
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	has already stepped · have not attained · i've said

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Говорящий использует 202 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например you're, don't, I'm. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.

Звуки «sh» и «zh»: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, shine /ʃaɪn/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/, limitation /lɪmɪˈteɪʃən/
Длинные слова — следите за ударением: horizontal /ˌhoɹəˈzɑn.təl/, philosopher /fəˈlɑsəfɚ/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, mentality /mɛnˈtæləti/

Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:

/w/ — губы округлены, это не /v/: takeaway /ˈteɪkəweɪ/, anyways /ˈɛn.iˌweɪz/, equate /ɪˈkweɪt/, straightforward /ˌstɹeɪtˈfɔː(ɹ)wə(ɹ)d/
/h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: horizontal /ˌhoɹəˈzɑn.təl/, unhappy /ʌnˈhæpi/, hierarchical /ˌhaɪəˈɹɑːkɪkəl/, hierarchy /ˈhaɪ.ə.ɹɑː(ɹ).ki/, harmony /ˈhɑ̟ɹ.mə.ni/
Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: anyways /ˈɛn.iˌweɪz/, comrade /ˈkɑmɹæd/, beforehand /bɪˈfɔɹhænd/, strive /ˈstɹaɪv/, perceive /pɚˈsiv/

Как заниматься с этим видео

Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
Повторяйте предложение за предложением на обычной скорости, пока ваш ритм не совпадёт с ритмом говорящего.
Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как interpersonal, flaw, mindset.

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

Практика Shadowing: The Courage to be Disliked Summary + my honest review - Изучайте разговорный английский по видео

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