ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Caroline reckons with a family secret | The Moth

Growing up my sisters and I would dare each other to run to the mailbox

and Maybe even raise the flag

if we had the nerve to show we were there And I know it doesn't sound that thrilling, but this was a no-go zone our mailbox was

Off-limits to anyone but our dad who was a career military officer

And I think growing up we just thought that was the norm that only soldiers got the mail

Because our lives were dictated by rule and order and fear and our dad was a very intimidating,

towering figure, which is why it really came out of nowhere

when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and within three weeks we were planning his funeral.

So my four sisters and I were very fortunate enough to be able to go home to Austin, Texas and be at his side and be able to say goodbye,

which is a gift, and everything was just really new and unexpected it.

And so too was the revelation when our father told us from the hospice bed, all of his five girls around him and all of us well into our 30s, that we had a brother.

And he had a son in Germany.

His son was German.

And he had had his son two years before he met my mom.

And she knew about it before they got married.

Of course, we looked right at her.

And she knew, but she, like him, and had always kept it a secret.

And so all I could think of, we had always wanted a brother growing up, and my dad would be made fun of by his army buddies.

And I would say, oh Pat, you can only shoot pink.

Look at all your girls.

And so all I could think of was I just have to meet him.

I have to meet this guy.

So after the funeral, I learned that I was going to Germany for work.

And so I reached out to him, to Michael, and I wrote him and I said, I think I'm going to be in a town that's about three hours away.

If I train from you, would you want to meet?

And he wrote back right away and he said, yes.

my wife and our son, who was an adult son, would love to meet you.

Please stay the weekend with us." So I was dying.

So we exchanged photos so we could find each other in the train station.

And on the train ride, I was just looking at his photos.

My eyes were just locked because he looked so familiar.

It was just transfixing.

And when I got to this train station, it was huge, an industrial city.

It wasn't a cute, quaint, you know, European station.

It was massive, but I saw him right away.

He was coming through the crowd.

Really, I was seeing my dad coming through the crowd and towards me, and he had this yellow rain parka,

and we hugged, and he said in a really thick German accent, welcome home.

He said, it's raining outside, but there is sunshine in my heart.

I saw this instant connection, and he grabbed my bags, and he walked with the same heavy gait as my dad

and the same slope as his dad and the same slope shoulders, and we went to his car and drove to his home and at some point on the drive he turned to me,

we were both in the front seat, and he said, I wrote you all those letters, all you girls.

He said, you never wrote back.

Why?

And all I could think about was that mailbox that we could never touch.

And I just said, I am so sorry.

I said, I didn't know.

We didn't know.

I am just so sorry.

And that whole weekend, I found myself apologizing for things I had no idea were happening and things I couldn't answer for.

And over dinner the last night, he was telling me about

when he learned who his real dad was he grew up thinking his grandparents were his parents

and he was 16 and he said you know your dad

or dad and i started writing at that time when he was 16 and he said i've kept all of

dad's letters he said do you want to read them

and i said yes of course i do my dad was

such a quiet man a man of few words he was only quiet

or he was yelling i mean there was no in between

so the idea of my dad sitting down to hand write

letters to his secret son in germany was like I would love to see these letters.

And so at the end of the night as we were going up to the guest room, he handed me these binders.

You know, he was a proper German.

I mean, these things were so organized.

So they were in chronological orders starting like in the late 60s, early 70s.

Each letter was in its own lamination or photos.

And I was, it was like a, this is your life.

It was like, we're having twins talking about me and my sister.

We're moving to Texas.

And there are all of these family photos that I'd never seen before.

You know, at some point in your life, you've seen every single childhood photo or family photo.

I didn't even know these photos existed.

And at some point, it was like the middle of the night, 3 in the morning, I started to feel that something was just off.

Because I was reading my dad's letters, and then I would read Michael's reply, and I'd flip it, read my dad's letter, Michael's reply, And at some point I was thinking,

well, how are Michael's letters here in this binder?

They should be like in our garage in Austin, Texas.

And so the next morning I asked Michael, I said, how do you have your own letters?

I mean, shouldn't they be in the U.S.?

And he said, well, every time I wrote dad, he would always put my letter back in his envelope and send it back to me.

And he said, I just always figured he didn't want them to be found.

and I think he was right.

And Michael never met our dad.

My dad went to Germany at some point.

They set a time to meet.

Michael was ready.

My dad didn't show.

I don't know why.

I can't ask him.

And my father was a wonderful father to my sisters and I, but I think in my gut, he was just afraid.

And I thought a lot about fear since meeting Michael

and how it can just get in the way of connecting and of living your life.

And when I left Michael's home, I had a couple of days in Berlin to walk around and my head was just spinning.

And I just kept thinking, I never want fear to get in the way of living, especially in a city where people had torn down the walls to live.

I just thought I can't let anything get in between having connection

and relationships and the opportunity to just raise my flag and say I am here.

Thank you so much.

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ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Caroline reckons with a family secret | The Moth

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