ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Do This Every Day and Watch Your Life Change | Tony Robbins
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Tony, I want to start with, you know, with you, there's so many things we can talk about and you've been doing this work for decades.
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I feel like your ability to learn what's at the root of things is second to none.
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It's so powerful for you to know.
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And I feel today, since even when you started, people are still stuck.
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The thing I hear the most is I'm stuck in a relationship.
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I'm stuck in a dead end job.
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I'm stuck in life.
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And I feel like I can't move.
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I don't know what I need to do.
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What's the first thing people need to do
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if they feel stuck they've got to make some decisions right i mean
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and what stops people make decisions united what is this fear
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people are afraid of making the wrong decision freedom not being perfect fear of the consequences of their decisions
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but let's let's chunk it up a little bit what do
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people really want we started out we were all here created
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by something i like god is the term some people like the universe i'm not here to argue with
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that whatsoever but we have to agree that something created us
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and that something gave us choices and choices are how we create, we co -create are basically our lives.
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It's not your conditions.
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It's your decisions that determine the quality of your life.
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I had pretty rough conditions growing up, say at least, but I turned those into good conditions because of the mindset, because of certain psychology, because of certain decisions.
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And if you think about your life, most people are stressed because they, stress is usually measured by how much you feel you control events versus events control you.
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The more you feel events are controlling you, the more overwhelmed you feel, the more stress, the more anxiety, the more fear.
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And we live in a culture where mental health is at record lows in terms of quality
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and happiness and joy and fulfillment and depression and anxiety are through the roof.
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And it's not because the world is so much more stressful.
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It's because the way we process the world.
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We have more information coming at us than any time in history, obviously.
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We're drowning in information.
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We're starving for wisdom.
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But in order to go from being stressed to not, we understand that I think the single most important tool is decision -making
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because I think that's been the skill that took me from, you know, barely surviving in a family that had tremendous pain
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and tremendous angst was the nicest word to say and no finances
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and four different fathers and a lot of physical and emotional abuse to being able to serve literally hundreds of millions, billions of people.
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It's been decisions along the way.
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So, if you look at your own life, yours, mine, anyone's life, anyone listening or watching, you have to be honest and say, I'm a creator.
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And if I don't like what I have, I've gotten here by the decisions that have created that.
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And look, there's lots of little decisions we make all day long.
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And I know you talk about decisions.
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I'm writing a whole book on it right now.
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And most people, you know, don't understand that most decisions are easy to change, right?
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You know, I think you give an example.
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I give the example of Bezos as well as Amazon and type two decisions.
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The ones you can change are easy.
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Type one are significant.
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They're going to be hard to change.
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Focusing on those big decisions is really important in life
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but i think most people they're afraid
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and then the second thing is they think they don't have enough information
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which is really just fear again
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because you know i wrote an entire book where i interviewed
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50 of the most incredible financial people in the world all people started with nothing
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and became billionaires the best investors in history the ray dalius the carl icons the warren buffets
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and one thing i learned over and over again from them is the smartest people usually are terrible investors
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i said how could that be yeah and they said
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because the smartest people want to know everything before they decide
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and if you wait till you know everything the opportunity is gone
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and that's true not just in finance i think that's true
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in life yes right we wait till we have absolute certainty
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there's no absolute certainty in life the only absolute certainty is
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faith you know it's like how do you drive down a street with nothing
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but a yellow line separating you from crazies coming driving at you at 65 miles an hour
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and every single day in every country in the world in every city in the world someone will cross
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that line and kill someone because they were drunk
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because they fell asleep because they're texting
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and yet how do you get out there every day without fear
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and do it you use a gift
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that god gave us it's called faith it's not what you
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learned faith i'm not talking about a religion i'm talking the capacity to see beyond the present moment
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and have a sense of certainty right
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so the fastest way to change your life is start making some real decisions
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and i know it's hard initially um the other part is it's just
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that the more you make decisions the more decision making muscles
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you get you know what i mean it's like well you
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barely some people have weak decision making muscles they uh you ever been to a dinner with somebody
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or a group of people
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and there's always one person that's hanging on to the last
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moment still can't decide you see the waiter waitress trying to
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be nice you can see him kind of losing my right
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it's like just freaking decide help this lady out right
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and they finally decide well some that's the habit of a lot of people
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and they can't make a decision want to eat for dinner
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tonight yeah how do they make a life decision right
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so the first step is to make some maybe make some small ones that you can do and get some momentum.
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But the more decisions you make, the faster it gets.
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I think the whole idea that I have to make the right decision is the wrong way to look at it.
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My whole view has been not deciding is the worst decision, right?
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I need to consciously decide if I don't want to feel like things are affecting me, if I'm going to shape my world, I'll make a decision.
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And if I'm wrong, I'll find out quicker.
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Asked him what the most important skill was of a leader, and he said decision making, which I agreed with, obviously.
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And I said, well, what do you think he's doing making decisions?
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And he said, I'll tell you a story.
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So he told me the story.
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I'll tell you the short version of it briefly.
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When he was a private, he represented a general.
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And the Pentagon had worked for almost, I think he said, more than a decade and a half analyzing this strategic decision they had to make.
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And there were people on both sides.
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And they argued in both sides fully so strongly
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that no made a decision for over 10 years he said
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he came in the meeting he said give me your arguments one person stood up for 20 minutes
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and gave this full -blown argument this is direction to go
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all right give me your argument 20 minutes full blast their argument he said okay do this
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and he all saluted and he walked out of the room
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and he said schwarzkopf said he was a private not a general right at
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that time right he said i don't know what the hell
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to do he couldn't possibly know all this information he couldn't possibly know what to do in this situation
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and he was totally stressed by it and
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so he worked up enough courage to knock on the general's door
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and said general permission to speak freely he's at ease at
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ease he goes general i've worked on this for four weeks
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with eight people i said you weren't even here last night
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this is one of the most important decisions ever how could
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i know you didn't have all the information how could you possibly make that decision.
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He said, young man, because a decision needed to be made.
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And he said, and both sides are equally strong.
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So I picked the one I believe is right.
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If I'm wrong, we'll find out quicker.
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It won't take a dictate, you know, 10 years to find out.
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And if I'm right, we'll continue.
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If I'm wrong, we'll make a shift.
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And he said, he said, it just was outside of his world.
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It was so simple.
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And then he told me one other one that I thought was really good.
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He said he was leaving one time and he left him as a private in charge of things.
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He said, you're in charge.
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You make these decisions, you do these things.
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I said, General, General, how do I know what to do?
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He said, Rule 13.
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He goes, Rule 13, sir.
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He's starting to go out the door.
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He says, what's Rule 13?
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He's going to figure out what Rule 13 was.
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When put in command, take charge.
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He goes, okay.
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He goes, but how do I make the right decision?
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He goes, Rule 14.
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He goes, Rule 14, sir?
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What's Rule 14?
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Do what's right.
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And those simple approaches, I think can guide us.
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And I really believe decision -making is the most important thing.
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So if you don't like your body, change it.
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If you like your relationship, change it.
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Maybe change you first.
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Otherwise you'll trade people and have the same problems, right?
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You know, you don't like your career, change it.
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But for things to get better, we got to get better.
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For things to change, my teacher, Jim Rohn, said, you got to change, right?
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But it all begins with a decision.
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So maybe start with small decisions or maybe attack a big one.
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Because when you do, you get momentum and by the way it's only decision
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if you act on it immediately and
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so i have a rule that's like anytime i set a goal anytime i make a decision i make sure
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that within a few minutes of making it i do something
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that commits me to follow through because here's the other problem
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have you ever done this you ever made a decision
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and not follow through yeah why uh because i was maybe maybe
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because i made a decision and i was uneasy about it afterwards there was some fear
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that crept in
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or i didn't i didn't have a plan to execute it
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on it properly maybe one of those all those all those are the typical answers
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so you're spot on in your experience
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but the biggest reason is people think decision is a one -step process
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and i found it's three right you can decide in the moment the reason i make
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that commitment that when i'm in the moment i do something commits me
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when i leave that moment you get in state you get inspired enough
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or you get pissed off enough something moves you
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and say not another day not an hour i'm changing this right
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But then when you leave that moment
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and you get caught up with some meeting or something with your family or something in your social media, email, or whatever it is,
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gradually you're in a different state and then you don't follow through and what you said is true.
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Something else comes up that you weren't prepared for, right?
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So a real decision, the word decision comes from incision in Latin, right?
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It means to cut off from.
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When you cut off any other possibility except what you've committed to, you'll find the way.
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I always tell people, if you want to take the island, burn your boats.
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As long as your brain has a way out, it'll go back.
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and it's amazing what you'll do
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when there's no option to go back most of my career has been
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because i had no net you know where's serena williams
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and i got to turn around right now she can't get
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on her sister died she can't get on the uso
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but she can't get on stand up she can't get up
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to do anything everybody knows i'm working with her i don't
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get her up the whole thing's over i get her up
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i turn the president around i do whatever i've got to
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do no matter who it was with no net you find a way
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so i think the biggest thing is once you decide you want to go to the second step is commit.
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In fact, I hear women say this to me all the time.
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I know you have a large female audience.
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They'll say, you know, men don't commit.
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And I said, has he even decided? Because they're different steps.
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Women jump to commitment very quickly.
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Men, not as quickly.
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And so deciding is like a war sometimes.
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I'm going to figure it out.
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Okay, I've decided.
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But then commitment, if I ask your audience to ask them, what's the difference, let me ask you, what's the difference between deciding, committing to you?
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I feel like decide is, I know which direction I want to go in.
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Commitment is, I want to stay in that direction for a long period of time.
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Yes, you just added that with exactly what it is.
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A commitment takes it into the future.
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Decision is the moment, and that moment can change.
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To me, resolve is, whatever you did in that moment, it's done.
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Right, right, right.
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I know Jim Rohn had told me one time
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that he was speaking about resolve to this audience of young people
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and i think it was like a nine -year -old girl
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he said who's got definition resolve this young girl stood up
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and she said i think it's promising yourself you will never give up great
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that was a beautiful example
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when you resolve you're at peace deciding's like a war right committing requires energy
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and taking into the future as you describe
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and then resolve it's amazing it's like it's done it's done
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in me it may not be done in the world but it's done in me now.
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I'll find the way or I'll make the way.
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And there's no uncertainty.
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There's no fear.
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There's no anxiety.
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There's no, it's like, when you get to that psychological, emotional place, that's the place in which you get results.
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When you see like, you know, somebody like LeBron take the ball to go straight in and go over the top of somebody's head and put it through,
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there is not, he didn't just decide.
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He didn't just commit.
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He has resolved that every ounce of his being will push.
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That's where the ball is going.
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That's where it's going to go.
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Right?
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So I think, just to summarize, I think there isn't a more important skill than decision making.
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And if you're not good at it, all you got to do is start making some decisions.
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My question would be, instead of just listening to us today, if nothing else came out of this,
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what's one little decision you could make that would increase the quality of your life that honestly you know you should make?
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Maybe even putting it off because it's inconvenient.
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You've got lots of other stressful things in your life or you're not really comfortable.
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But if you're really committed and you follow through, you just decided, committed and followed through, right?
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Resolved.
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Where would you be a year from now?
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What would your life be like?
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And I would take a little decision.
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And what action would you take today?
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Make that decision now.
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And then if you're bold, what's a big decision?
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What's a tough decision?
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What's a decision you've been putting off or you know, and you've got it's right.
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You know, it might be about a relationship.
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You know, it might be about how you're dealing with your kids.
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It might be around your career or your business or your finances, but that's how life gets better.
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That's how you start creating life as opposed to being a manager of circumstance.
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And I think when people are maintaining, when they're managing their circumstances, when they're surviving, they're miserable.
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Like we are made to grow and we're made to give.
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When we grow, we have more to give.
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And so I think decision -making is the pathway, one of them certainly to getting there.
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Yeah.
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It's so powerful listening to you talk about it because I feel a lot of us, the second mistake we make is that after we make a decision,
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we hope that that decision solved everything so it's like you make one decision
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and then you're like all right well i quit my job
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or i left that person or i got a new job
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and that should solve it
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and the reality is what you're saying is no decision making is a continual process it has to happen time
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and time again you don't get to make one decision
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and your life is solved that's right life is made up of lots of little
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and big decisions along the way you know what the biggest problem is that people have
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They think they're not supposed to have them.
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Oh, right, yeah.
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Problems are a sign of life.
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I remember I interviewed, what was his name?
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Norman Vincent Peale, Dr. Peale, who wrote the original Power of Positive Thinking book when I was 32, he was 92, and he invited me, because my career was growing,
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invited me up to Toronto to meet him at an event he was doing.
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So I came backstage, and we spent about an hour in advance, and I remember asking him, I said, you know, I'm curious, I said, why are you still doing these events? he goes well tony
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there's still a few negative people around here at 92 i said what's the most
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and think about 92 he's what men's horse
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and carriage to rockets right you know nothing to computers right
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just the the changes in his lifetime were just unbelievable i
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said what do you think is the most important thing people need to understand
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and he said the power of problems
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and i said what do you mean by that he goes well the only people who have problems are in cemeteries.
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And I said, I think I heard that somewhere.
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He said, 1947, I said that.
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He said, but they never finished my quote.
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I said, the only people that have problems are in cemeteries.
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So if you don't have any, you better go on your knees and pray for some.
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Because he said, problems are a sign of life.
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And what I found is problems call us.
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He said he was sitting one time at this dais.
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He was at a speaking dais.
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It was like a luncheon.
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And beside him was the heavyweight champion of the world
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and it was back in the 40s right and he said
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that uh he looked at him his name was gene tunney pretty famous guy
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and he said gene how do you get muscles like that
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and gene said do you really want to know
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or you're just asking
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and he said he told me in his head he goes i was thinking i was just asking
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but now i really want to know because he was so intense about it.
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He says, no, I really want to know.
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He goes, every day I push against unbelievable resistance
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and that's what sculpts these muscles that's how you build muscle
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and he said i thought about a long time afterwards
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and he said i think that's how we develop spiritually we push against problems
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and that's what sculpts our souls and
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so i think um to think you shouldn't have problems you can call them challenges it feels better
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but this part of life it's part of the journey
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and solving them makes you bigger more alive more spiritually developed more human more caring um you know pain
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and suffering you don't have to suffer long
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but we're all going to experience some of it right
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but decision making is how we get out of it yeah
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and you're so right because one of the biggest challenges today is overthinking yes
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so decision making is the kind of arrow that cuts through
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that 100 because that's the only way to get out of overthinking yeah
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and so if someone's spiraling if they actually listen to you
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and said hey if i just make one decision off of this
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that would actually create a shift for them i can tell
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you too it's too long in a conversation like this to describe in detail
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but i can give you how i make important decisions please i have a six -step process and
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if people want to jot it down i call it oocemr
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those are the trigger letters for what i do oocemr
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and i developed this years ago
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because i only had one business now i'm fortunate enough i
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have 114 companies we do over 10 billion dollars in business i have no business background, all decision -making, learning skills, et cetera.
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But way back then when I had a small business, these decisions were just, it was tough.
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They were important decisions.
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They felt like they were life and death decisions for the business.
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And I knew that knowing how smart I am, you're better with a group of people around you.
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Because even if you have more information, they have another perspective, you know?
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And so I was trying to find a decision -making model.
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And I thought, well, all decision -making is really value clarification.
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Like what's most important to you? like what you decide what somebody else side may be different
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but may be right because it's about what do you value most right
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so i thought i should start with decision making not by all the emotion
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that i may have of either anxiety or fear or excitement
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or passion either one can lead you astray it's like what
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do i want what's the outcome that's the first o outcome
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so i get people
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and by the way i tell people do not do this
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in your head the reason people get overwhelmed as they ask multiple questions too fast to answer
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that it's like what am i going to do i don't know what to do.
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What if she says this?
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What if he did that?
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But what if it doesn't do that?
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And you're asking 20 questions and you don't have the processing power to answer them.
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So you're just going to overwhelm, slow it down, right?
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One thing at a time, right?
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But start not with what you're afraid of.
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Start with what you want, because that's how the human nervous system is designed.
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It's designed to make things happen to create.
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So if you become a creator, you start with the one.
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So what are your outcomes?
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And this is the reason it's hard to make decisions for most people is they have multiple outcomes.
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They're trying to get from the same decision, right?
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They want to make everybody happy and they want to make a million dollars
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and they want to have more free time and you know all simultaneously
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so you have to say
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which of those things is most important to you is it
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the free time is the family time is it to make
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more money is it decide what's most important for you right
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so i have people write down their outcomes and they're usually multi
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if they're having a hard time that's because there's multiple outcomes
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and then i also say don't ever do this in your head
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because you can't manage all your head pictures worth a thousand words so you write down the outcomes, and then you put them in order.
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And then you put the why.
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Because the why is what matters.
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Like, what is the reason?
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What's the emotion behind this?
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What is it I'm, even though I say this is what I want, what do I want out of this?
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What's it going to give me?
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It's going to give me joy, it's going to be happiness, fulfillment, spiritual development, what is it, right?
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So now when you're crystal clear what you want, and the order you want it in, and that's critical.
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What's number one, you got to be rigorous.
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Now you can make decisions by going into second, though, what are your options?
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And I always tell people, one option is no option two options is dilemma you need at least three choices to be a choice right
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and so and when you get to three usually find this four
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or five now you may not like them all
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but you shouldn't lie to yourself
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and say this is the only option that'll stress you out
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or these two in the option you'll get stuck in a dilemma
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so i write all the options then i go to ooc is consequences
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which is what you're doing the decisions for what's the upside
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and the downside of each of these decisions to the best of my knowledge the upside could be this
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and this now it could be that and that i've concerted the first half, okay?
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Now you know what exactly you want, you know what your options are, and you know upsides and downsides of each.
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So now we're gonna go into the last three stages.
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I'm gonna evaluate, mitigate, and resolve.
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E, evaluate.
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Now I'm gonna evaluate, what's the probability of those consequences?
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Cause you might have something that's like, oh my God, if this happens, it's the worst thing on earth.
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But the probability is next to zero, and you're all stressed out.
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Unless you evaluate probability, you're wasting your time.
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You might have some go, oh my God, if this works out, it's gonna be the greatest thing in the history of the world but the likelihood of happening is zero, right?
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You can't let those extremes get you.
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So you start to see by evaluating what's there.
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And then the last two steps are fast.
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It's mitigation.
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Mitigation means, okay, I've seen what I want.
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I know my options.
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I know the upside down.
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I know what's probable.
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Now, can I take something from this option and mix it with this one?
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Is there a way to mitigate the downsides?
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And almost always there are.
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And at this stage, your brain gets really creative
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because it's not in fear or uncertainty or anxiety because you're not in your head, it's right in front of you.
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And the last part is resolve.
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And I gave you a million stories, it was too late to do, but I can just tell you, I've made personally $400 million from one decision I made from this personally.
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I'm just, I'm trying to give you an economic piece.
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What the spiritual, emotional value has been on things is priceless.
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I was gonna ask you, Tony, you have such a systematic brain.
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Like when I've learned from you, listened to you, everything is so process oriented, which I love.
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But at the same time, you have this deep faith, this deep spirituality, and you brought it out there.
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You said, I made $400 million and at the same time, the emotional and spiritual benefits are off the charts.
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Talk to me genuinely, because I think today we all hear about, oh, you can manifest this and you can get that and this.
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I feel like you have a really pragmatic and process -driven approach to both.
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How does faith, how does energy, how does spirituality correlate with a very systematic process -driven approach?
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That's a great question.
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No one's really asked me that question.
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That's nice.
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It's a reflection of your qualities as well, which I think you look at both sides as well as I do.
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I think there's nothing more important than spirit, soul.
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There's nothing more important than your spiritual development.
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Anything else is a joke.
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And yet, maybe the best way to describe it is think about it as East and West, right?
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We both have experiences of both.
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I go to India at least once a year on average, and I've been going since I was in my 20s, because I was fascinated by the cultural differences.
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And as a gross generalization, the East is more about internal development if you go to a place like Varanasi, which is one of the oldest cities on the planet, you know, 3 ,800 years old,
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they have fires that have been burning for 38 straight years nonstop, and for people who don't know it, in that culture, you know, everyone has different perceptions of God or belief of what God is, but in that particular culture,
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it doesn't matter what kind of Hindu you are, if there's some belief you should give up all your clothing, everything but your clothes, some people believe it's studying the Vedas,
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some people believe it's through yoga, different ways to get to God, a million different ways, and there's more than 300 million different God, your own personal God in that culture, right?
426
Very different.
427
But they have a belief there that if you die in Varanasi, it's the only thing you have unified, then you don't come back because the belief is reincarnation.
428
So they want to not come back, which would be Nirvana, right?
429
And they burn these fires.
430
And when someone dies, they try to get to Varanasi no matter what they do, because they believe if they die there, they won't come back.
431
And the city is filled.
432
You've there haven't you yes yeah fill the people that are dying
433
and joyous like i remember we we went to mother teresa's facility
434
and there was a woman there that was you know tiny little lady
435
and she was like in her 90s
436
and i was talking with her you know broken english with her
437
and she was mad as hell she was dying
438
and she was mad they scooped her off the streets
439
and they're helping her she came here to die
440
because this was her i mean really pissed off right and then most americans have, you know, they burn the bodies.
441
I watched them burn the bodies on this boat.
442
And I'll never forget the first time I did this.
443
And I watched this little boy who's flipping this, looked like stick or twig, and it was his grandfather's leg.
444
No one is crying.
445
No one is sad.
446
They believe that the body is the t -shirt.
447
You burn it and it goes away.
448
So the spiritual side of life is all that is seen there.
449
But yet people live in squalor.
450
You come to America
451
and people get stressed about they didn't get the special burger on the sauce on their burger right um
452
and you see people that live with tremendous economic opportunity who spoil it
453
and don't take advantage of it i noticed almost everybody specialized in either how i can look at his philosophy
454
or strategy right
455
philosophy is critical it determines the quality of your life it determines whether you're happy
456
or not happy fulfilled or not fulfilled strategy is how how do you get it done
457
and strategy is critical because you could save a decade with the right strategy in business, in your personal life, with your body, the wrong strategy, and you're going to be ill, right?
458
And so early on, I decided you need both.
459
So I teach both.
460
And I don't think that's anything but intelligence, you know, to do both.
461
So that's how I look at it.
462
But if you think, like, what creates, you know, when you look, I try to look at what does everybody want?
463
And we're all different.
464
And I think the best example I can give is
465
that people want an extraordinary quality of life but
466
that definition is different for everybody like some people's idea of an extraordinary life is you know three beautiful children
467
and a husband or wife that they adore some people's is um to write poetry
468
or write music or to build a farm
469
or garden some people's is to grow a business um everyone has completely different eyes what
470
that is i don't pretend
471
that my life should be your life i'm the example for you
472
but i'm an example of how you can take what you believe you want to create
473
and make it real by a combination and enjoy it
474
because how many of you know have achieved everything you want
475
and then said is this all there is
476
because they didn't have the right philosophy
477
or they were trying to achieve something they thought would meet a need for significance
478
and they missed love you know the more important pieces of life
479
so i believe that there's two primary skills to have an extraordinary quality life
480
which i would define as life on your terms so the first one is
481
the science of achievement that's a skill
482
but my point is fulfillment is an art
483
and fulfillment is as different as you and i are there are no laws to fulfillment but there are some principles
484
and one is growth if you're going to be fulfilled you got to grow in fact the whole self -care
485
mentality we have
486
which i think was important it was like the antidote to
487
the uh what they used to call it the hustle culture burnout culture and people are always stressed you know they're stress, they're hustling just to make money.
488
There's no meaning.
489
You can work your ass off and be so fulfilled if it's meaningful to you, if you're doing it for a higher purpose than just money.
490
I'm not saying you shouldn't have money.
491
You should.
492
It's part of a master skill of being alive and take care of your family.
493
But if that's the only thing you're doing it for, you're going to stress out and burn out.
494
I mean, stress comes to making things more important than it really is.
495
Failure comes to making things less important than they really are.
496
It's an art, right?
497
But the fulfillment side is finding what it is
498
that allows you to grow because
499
when you grow you feel alive i always tell people people
500
ask me all the time they say what is it
501
that makes people happy you travel the world
502
and millions of people what is what's the common key to happiness
503
and i say progress progress equals happiness when you're making progress you're happy even
504
when you achieve it like can you think of a goal you've achieved
505
that you're really proud of
506
and then afterwards thought is this all there is most people have had some celebration yeah
507
and when they celebrate
508
that what i always ask people is you're really celebrate it
509
was great you achieved it you're proud of yourself great i say how long did
510
that feeling last not long
511
and i say did it last six years no six months
512
six weeks six days six hours most people somewhere between six days six hours
513
and six weeks max because you know why why does it go away
514
because we're not made just to achieve goals we're made to grow we're made to become more
515
because when we grow we make progress we have something to give we have more to give
516
so it's like everything in the world either grows or it dies
517
if your relationship's not growing don't bs yourself it's dying
518
if your business is not growing it's dying
519
if you're not growing some part of you is dying inside
520
so but i found that when people really grow they're happy
521
and then they want to share and they have something worth sharing right so
522
if you look at somebody like you know robin williams i
523
mean robin williams i think was one the gifts of our country to the world.
524
You know, he made people laugh all over the earth.
525
He came here to Hollywood, where we are right now, and he had almost no resources except creativity.
526
And he said, I'm going to star on my own TV show.
527
Everybody says that.
528
Nobody does it.
529
He did it.
530
Then he said, okay, I want to not only star on my own TV show, I want to make it the number one show in at least five countries.
531
He did it in nine, right?
532
Then he said, I don't want to do TV anymore.
533
I want to make movies.
534
That's more dramatic.
535
And he did.
536
Then he said, I want to win an Academy Award for not being funny.
537
A dramatic Academy Award.
538
And he won.
539
He said, I want a family that totally loves me and I love me.
540
He did it.
541
He said, I want to have more money than I could ever spend.
542
And he did it.
543
And he hung himself in his own home.
544
How do you explain that?
545
I know people say he had Lewy bodies in his brain, but he abused alcohol and cocaine
546
and drugs his entire life staying hyped up he worked to make everybody as happy except himself
547
so i really believe that success without fulfillment's the ultimate failure
548
and you do not have to separate them because
549
if what you're doing is designed to try
550
and serve something more than yourself you're not going to be stressed i mean
551
when you're trying to serve your kids or you're trying to serve your community
552
or your country when there's something you care about more than yourself there's an energy
553
that you have all suffering comes focused on the self And ironically, again, I started to mention self -care.
554
I'm not being derogatory towards self -care
555
because I think it's important to take care of yourself so you can take care of others and take care of yourself.
556
But it's become the new hustle culture.
557
Self -care means you're doing something directing your mind, soul, and spirit to become more, not just checking out, right?
558
And so many people are doing it now, and I think that's a huge reason why.
559
I don't know if you saw, I looked it up the other day.
560
I actually brought it on to make sure I had the right numbers.
561
It 51 % of Gen Z has been diagnosed with anxiety disorder.
562
61 % of a generation.
563
54 % of Gen Z women report diagnosed mental health conditions by American Psychological Association.
564
34 % of Gen Z are currently taking prescription medication,
565
and there's been 129 % increase in the trajectory use of antidepressants among teenage girls since the pandemic.
566
I mean, it's like, there's something wrong here.
567
This mental health crisis is because we think we should do less and we're going to be happier.
568
There was a study done right in the middle of COVID
569
by a woman who wrote an article in the New York Times, and she took people who were miserable and angry and sad and said, we're going to do a time management course with you for nine weeks.
570
And I'm going to ask that you do more during these nine weeks.
571
And at the end of nine weeks, just by feeling control of their lives, right, 20 % increase in life satisfaction,
572
18 % increase in productivity by doing five times more than what they were doing when they kept, because the problem with pulling back and taking care of yourself when it's the extreme side,
573
not what you
574
or I would do know you have the meds thing you talk about right in terms of meditating
575
and eating well and diet and sleep right i couldn't agree more with you on
576
that but when people make it like just letting go
577
and doing nothing i mean i don't value that
578
but the weaker we get the harder it gets it doesn't like you don't hit a bottom
579
and now you're okay you just get weaker
580
and weaker now little things are stressful it's just like the
581
decision making the more you don't make decisions the more anxiety
582
you have the more you start making decisions the stronger you feel you feel like you're in control of your life.
583
And all it takes is a few good ones for you to start getting momentum.
584
So I think those two skills are the key to a great life.
585
Master the science of achievements.
586
You can study how people did it.
587
Get the same thing with your body or your emotions or your relationships or your finances.
588
But then when it comes to fulfillment, you have to discover what will help you to grow and what will help you to give more and what taps you.
589
I'll give one final example because it's humorous to me.
590
Steve Nguyen is a good friend of mine who built most of Las Vegas, about half of las vegas beautiful my favorite hotels yes beautiful beautiful old man
591
and steve is quite a philanthropist great human being a good friend of mine
592
so he we both have uh vacation homes in sun valley idaho for the snow
593
and um i arrived one morning and or one night the night before
594
and i got there like two or three in the morning
595
and the phone rings at 8 a .m i'm you know four
596
or five hours sleep who could possibly be calling me in this home right and steve tony It's my birthday.
597
I want you to come over today.
598
I said, Steve, I know, but it's what, 8 .15, 8 .30 in the morning.
599
I just got here.
600
He goes, listen, I got this new piece of art.
601
He said, it's unbelievable.
602
I've coveted this piece of art for the last 13 years.
603
He said, I outbid everybody at Sotheby's and literally they delivered it late last night for my birthday.
604
You must come and see this painting.
605
I said, all right, Steve, I have one question.
606
How much did it set you back?
607
86 .9 million dollars 87 million dollars
608
so i said steve screw lunch i'm coming for breakfast i
609
i got to see what an 87 million dollar painting looks like
610
and i'm picturing god crashing through the clouds some renaissance image you know everything else i get there
611
and he takes me there and he goes see
612
and i look at it and i understand what it is it's a rothgo
613
but it's an orange square if you've ever seen a rothgo it's literally an orange square orange and red square there.
614
And I said, Steve, they missed a few spots because it isn't filled in right.
615
He got a little, and I said, this is a Rothko.
616
I said, I know what it is.
617
He goes, yeah, but I said, Steve, I said, give me a hundred dollars worth of red paint.
618
Give me a piece of paper.
619
Give me 20 minutes.
620
I think I can do this again.
621
And it stirred him up a little bit, you know, he knew as I was teasing him.
622
He goes, Tony, you understand he committed suicide.
623
Start telling me the whole story of the guy.
624
I said, well, for suicide, it should be his blood for $87 million dollars i mean come on right
625
but the reason i tell this story is he can barely see
626
but he got almost an orgasm looking at that he
627
because he finds meaning in everything like he knows what every
628
stroke means i'm looking i see an orange square i'm unsophisticated
629
so what makes you feel fulfilled depends on what you focus on
630
and you know people say why did he do
631
that he should have given that money away he's given millions and millions
632
and millions of hundreds of millions of dollars away that's just
633
everybody's judgment i think you should figure out what it is
634
that fulfills you because if you don't find fulfillment you're going to be miserable more stress comes
635
because you're not fulfilled it's not because you're not achieving it's
636
because you're not making progress on what matters to you it's
637
because you feel at the effective events versus you're affecting events
638
and that's the hard choice because
639
that hard choice is choosing the discomfort choosing the discipline choosing the decision
640
that may feel hard but is right but
641
but the one that's the hardest one is regret not making the decision almost always leads to regret
642
if you make decision that's wrong you can change it make another one even those type one decisions you know
643
that jeff bezos talks about most of them are still possible to change this just takes a lot
644
so it's always possible to shift what's what will screw your
645
life up is not deciding is living on the fence
646
because the brain does not do well with uncertainty right well
647
that's one of the human needs is the need for certainty
648
and the fastest way to certainty is just make some decisions
649
and act on them and discover what's real um
650
so i appreciate your meta comments about that because I think it's really important to master both skills.
651
I know so many people have achieved so much and they're so unfulfilled.
652
And there are so many people that are trying for fulfillment and they never last.
653
Not feeling good is part of what gives you drive.
654
It either destroys you or drives you.
655
You have to make those choices.
656
And most of us will not let it destroy us if we don't medicate ourselves.
657
We find a way to push through.
658
But if you don't have to, people go for comfort.
659
And comfort will never make you proud.
660
Comfort will make you strong.
661
Comfort will not allow you to inspire your kids or your community or your friends.
662
But there's a greater thing than comfort that comes from fulfillment by pushing through what...
663
And here's the other part, it's like, I hear the word, the other pop culture element drives me crazy is self -esteem.
664
Oh, I don't have any self -esteem because when I was a child, people said these horrible things to me.
665
How convenient you only remember the horrible things they said to you, right?
666
They said lots of things.
667
But the truth of the matter is what people said to
668
you makes no means whatsoever as to whether you feel like you have high self -esteem or not.
669
Self -esteem is earned by yourself, with yourself.
670
Someone can tell you your whole life, you're beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're so smart, and you can fear you're not, right?
671
I mean, people like that all the time, right?
672
And they have all this anxiety because they thought they were the best in the world and they find out they're not.
673
The parents overblew who they were at that stage.
674
They didn't teach them to develop it or to push through
675
or develop the muscle that would make them the best in the world of what they do.
676
On the other hand, you can be told by people, you're a piece of worthless, piece of junk, you'll never be this, you're a piece of that you're and
677
that person can say screw you i'll show you who i am
678
so what people have said it has zero impact on your self -esteem
679
and telling people they're great
680
or not great does not change it teaching them to have
681
grit teaching them to push through the way you develop esteem for yourself as by doing difficult things
682
that you know are right
683
when you do something you know is right even though it's difficult your esteem for yourself grows
684
and no one can take that way you can take away money
685
or material things no one can take away who i've become as a man and my path, or you as a man, or anyone else as a woman.
686
And I think it's really important to know that if you want to feel good about yourself, it's not by relaxing.
687
Don't get me wrong.
688
I know how to relax.
689
I know how to take time.
690
I have a beautiful family.
691
I have five kids and five grandkids.
692
So I certainly have to be able to do that.
693
And one of my kids is, thanks to COVID, I have a 51 -year -old daughter and I have a four -year -old daughter.
694
So I have quite a spread at 60, when I'm going to be 66 pretty soon.
695
So to give you a sense.
696
So my life is full, but it still has to have growth in it.
697
It still has to have progress.
698
And that's what makes it fulfilling.
699
Yeah.
700
What's the difference between growth and hustle?
701
Meaning?
702
Well, yes, exactly.
703
Hustle, I'm just doing it to try to make money.
704
If I'm busting my tail, but man, I know what I'm doing.
705
You know what it is?
706
I always, people, I measure people's lives.
707
I have to give a zero to 10 score on their body, not compared to someone else.
708
Like your idea of a 10.
709
When I was 20, I thought Washboard Abs was a 10
710
and they had them
711
and my back hurt you know my shoulders i was out
712
of balance right you know everything else is screwed up big biceps
713
and weak in other areas then
714
so i asked people where are you zero to ten in
715
your life today based on what you want for your life
716
is it energy what is it where are you zero to ten in the level of meaning
717
and emotion because
718
if you don't measure something you can't manage it i'm giving
719
zero to ten a little description give me zero to ten where you are in your relationships
720
and um and the most important one your intimate relationships because friendships are easy, right?
721
And where's that?
722
And if you don't have one, that's zero.
723
And you want to see that, so it pushes you, right?
724
Where are you in, you know, your, and this is the one that led me to it, is your work, or is it for you a career, or is it, you know,
725
a calling or a mission?
726
And I already know who people are based on which word they pick.
727
If it's work, it's work.
728
If it's a career, they work at it, and they're pretty fulfilled that.
729
But if it's mission, like i know you
730
and i are both called i don't have to do this another day of my life i do it
731
because it's my mission it's my purpose i believe it's what i'm made for there is no amount of work
732
that can wear you down when it's mission zero and
733
if you haven't found that um i would caution against one other thing
734
if i may i love you've stirred me up with some
735
different questions yeah it's good i think it's important to understand
736
a lot of people are trying to find their purpose what's my purpose?
737
What's this big purpose?
738
Who said you had one?
739
Who said you had one for a lifetime?
740
If you write down a purpose statement, it's a long mission statement, it sounds real good, and you read it, it's never going to cover all of who you are waiting for.
741
I have a different purpose when I'm sitting down with my daughter, my youngest daughter, than I am with my oldest.
742
I have a different sense of purpose in what I'm doing in this business for that.
743
I have a different purpose in our conversation today.
744
Purpose is what gives life meaning.
745
But you don't have to have one giant purpose that you're struggling to find, isn't this an unbelievable gift that we're sitting here, breathing, this heart's beating, we don't have to work at it,
746
that the skin's working, that we can have a conversation, that we can feel, that we can live, that we can have our children.
747
That's a miracle.
748
We forget what a miracle does just to be alive, right?
749
So are you celebrating?
750
And then are you contributing?
751
Because celebration without contribution doesn't last, you know?
752
And so I say measure those things.
753
But to answer your question specifically, I think it's critical that you understand stress comes from having activity without purpose is the drain on your emotional well -being.
754
Talk to me about what being a dad at
755
that age was like and in your 20s to what being a dad in your 60s looks like.
756
Like, what's different?
757
What are the different challenges?
758
What are the different lessons?
759
It's my favorite stage of life is the stage of life.
760
I would say that first for everyone listening.
761
You know, I look at life in seasons.
762
you know, it's like I'm a big believer that the three skills we need to teach our kids or ourselves,
763
especially in a world that in the next five to ten years will have more change than any time in human history.
764
Between nanotechnology and AI and robotics and everything else, the world is going to change like never before.
765
So how do you have an advantage there?
766
You have to master three skills.
767
You have to pattern recognition so that you're not fearful.
768
A lot of fear is because you think this is the only time this happened.
769
Politically, we've never been this way.
770
It's bullshit i can show you stuff
771
that makes republicans never got to look nice to each other from the past you know
772
when you recognize a pattern you go okay this has happened before
773
and seasons are one of those patterns right um
774
and then you're not fearful and then the second part it's not random
775
the second skill is mastering really pattern you know utilization that's what gives you power in your life
776
because now a baby can't get out of this room until they recognize almost all rooms have an exit
777
and if i look around there it's shaped a certain way
778
and there's a handle that if i push pull her i can get out of here
779
if you don't you're trapped
780
so pattern recognition is power those three skills are how you can compete
781
or do well and i want that for my 51 year old
782
and i want my four -year -old having said
783
that you don't recognize as many patterns
784
when you're 25 to answer your question right
785
and i'm proud of the father i was i mean i got married my first marriage to a woman
786
that was 12 years my senior and she'd been married twice before me she had kids from both husbands
787
and she moved in with me and she was so unhappy and I was like, bring them here.
788
And I adopted all those kids.
789
So if you can imagine, I was 24, just turning 25 years old.
790
I had a 17 year old son, an 11 year old daughter, a five year old, and then shortly after a blood child of my own coming on board.
791
And so I was out to change the world.
792
I had to learn how to manage my life and who I was.
793
And these kids, I fell totally in love with them and the joy of my life today.
794
And that marriage lasted 14 years.
795
And when I grew up, I really, I was there for the kids, honestly, more than anything else.
796
We weren't the right match for each other.
797
We're still good friends.
798
And I married my wife now.
799
I've been together 25 years, the greatest gift of my life.
800
But my wife didn't think we could have kids.
801
The doctor told her point blank we couldn't.
802
So we ended up doing it with a surrogate and it was COVID.
803
And I'm normally going on the road 225 days in a year, 200 days in a year with COVID.
804
They shut down every arena in the world.
805
I mean, went from doing 15 000 people to them saying i could put 100 people in the arena
806
so we pivoted
807
and i started doing digital seminars we did the biggest ones
808
in the world 1 .3 million people three days you know
809
and really made it an experience that was amazing
810
so there was time so we got our daughter
811
but the answer question specifically i think in my 20s
812
and 30s um i was still trying to figure out completely who i was
813
and all i knew is i want these kids to be loved I want them to know
814
that they're not here to demand from life.
815
Life is expecting something from you.
816
And that if you're here to be a contributor, you'll always be happy.
817
And I really accomplished that.
818
I'm proud of all my kids.
819
They're all contributors.
820
They're all contribute time, energy, money, resources to help people who are not as well off as they are.
821
They're all great parents.
822
And they're all just good people.
823
But with my daughter today, it's you know i had her at 61
824
so um certainly not what i planned for it brought more joy to me than anything else
825
because you know so much more you have
826
so much more wisdom to share you have more time to just experience things versus
827
when you're running trying to make it all happen
828
and i think someone like yourself at 30 you know we talked off the air here
829
that at some point you'll probably have children i think in
830
that 38 39 40 you have more wisdom to
831
because you're still you know who you are now to a
832
great extent you'll continue to continue especially you right i'm continuing to evolve, right?
833
But I think there's just more to give at that stage.
834
But I also would tell anybody that I wouldn't, if someone would have told me, if you think of zero to 21 as being a pattern of seasons, like when I say pattern recognition,
835
the pattern that has changed humanity the most, the first recognized pattern that we changed and started to use was seasons.
836
If you did the right thing at the wrong time, you get nothing.
837
It doesn't matter how hard you work.
838
So I'm a big believer in looking at what season you are in your life, what season you are in history, right what season i'm i'm in with my family and
839
so i think a 021 is springtime everything grows in springtime it's easy to grow in springtime
840
if you start a business in springtime you think you're a genius genius you're just in the right season right
841
but then summer comes and things are tested and god
842
or the universe whatever you want to call it has made it
843
so we have an easy time
844
and then we have a tough time to test this to make us grow an easy time rewards
845
and a tough time
846
so summer think of it as like 22 to 42 roughly
847
zero to 21 you're taken care of i had a childhood
848
that was a little tough but you know i was 13
849
or 14 i had to work to support the family
850
but i still i didn't have to make all the money
851
for the food someone else was housing me someone else was taking care of me at
852
that stage of life you're taking in information 22 to 42 now you go test it.
853
Right?
854
Now you go say, well, I was taught all the stuff.
855
What do I believe?
856
You know, and in the early stages of that season, you think you're invincible.
857
You think you're going to be a multi -billionaire president of the United States
858
and have a hundred relationships simultaneously and everyone will be happy.
859
And then by the time you're 32 or three or something like that, you start going, I'm not a billionaire.
860
I'm not the president of the United States.
861
And I can't even one person happy in the relationship.
862
What the hell is going on here?
863
And that's usually when people start to look out for people like you and I, who are looking for some wisdom about how to live life in a way that's happy
864
and fulfilling and growing and expanding because they know they're not invincible.
865
That stage, if you're listening, if you're in that 22 to 42, it is the most painful stage across all studies, most unhappy stage.
866
If you're happy right now, that is awesome.
867
And anyone can be, but most aren't fully happy at that stage.
868
It's the most trying stage.
869
It's the testing time.
870
And if you didn't grow during spring and take care of yourself summer, then you won't reap in the fall.
871
You're going to weep.
872
But if you grew in both those stages, is now you go to the third stage.
873
That's basically 43 to 63.
874
And these numbers are round, right?
875
Some people are early, some people are late.
876
But in that stage of life, you've accumulated enough skill and knowledge if you've grown.
877
There's a stage of life that if you've done your job and have contributed enough to society, that you know most of the players or you know most of the people in the industry,
878
and you've got relationships that are 20 years long or maybe 30 years long, and the talent pool's not elastic, there's only so many people that keep growing.
879
And so you usually know those people and have a role in that.
880
So that stage is where most people have that stage that we can think of as autumn, as the fall, as the reward stage.
881
That's when most people earn the most.
882
That's when most people tend to grow the most.
883
That's when you start to really become a leader in that stage.
884
And obviously, it can happen earlier.
885
And then 64 to 84 to 104 to 124, which is the oldest living humans, is the winter stage, which is there's a gradual decline in the body,
886
no matter what you do at some stage.
887
and you have to make sure you keep your mental facilities up.
888
I have 40 -year relationships now.
889
I've got five kids and five grandkids.
890
I've got people that I love with my soul that I would do anything for, do anything for me.
891
I don't know many things in life.
892
I feel closer to God and the universe than I've ever felt in my life.
893
I feel like my life is such a blessing.
894
If my life ended tomorrow, I'd be the most blessed man on earth.
895
I'd like to continue contributing, but that's not in my hands.
896
Yeah, we need you around.
897
But that's not in my hands.
898
Whenever I go, it'll be the right time.
899
So it's just like, I want people to know, and all the studies, by the way, show, if you stay healthy, this stage I'm talking about is the most fulfilling stage.
900
And it's a stage where you get to become, you know, an elder statesman and you, and you're not trying to prove to somebody who the hell you are.
901
You know, you, you don't play the social media game.
902
You know who the hell you are.
903
If people know you, like people know you're a good person, but if they don't, you don't really care, right?
904
You just go deliver what you're here to deliver and do what you're going to do.
905
So those stages of life, I think, are useful because we're all different, but there's a racetrack to life.
906
And you're not there yet, but there's a stage in your life when your brain will go, there may be more days behind me than ahead of me.
907
That's usually midlife, whatever age that is in people's heads.
908
It's different for everybody. And there's a beauty.
909
There's a massive increase of the beauty of life when you begin to realize it's a limited racetrack.
910
It's, you value every moment, every relationship, every experience you have even more.
911
And I'm at a stage of life where I have so many friends that are 20 years my senior.
912
I have a lot of friends in their 80s and friends my age that have passed away just in recent years.
913
And it just reminds you that it's a limited racetrack.
914
It's about a man who is a gambler and he goes to heaven
915
and his diet day of heaven is staying at the Wynn Hotel in the presidential suite, right?
916
Or the encore presidential suite and he wakes up in heaven.
917
He wakes up at the top of the encore and he opens his closet.
918
There's all these suits and outfits and he opens his drawers
919
and there's cash and there's jewelry and watches and all these things.
920
And he goes downstairs and every woman notices him and he goes and he's blackjack, you win, 21, you win, you win, you know?
921
And all of a sudden he's playing craps, you win, you win, you win.
922
And he's like lit up like a Christmas tree.
923
And he goes home that night with more than one person and he thinks it's the greatest experience of his life.
924
And he wakes up the next day and does the whole thing again.
925
And the next day and does the whole thing again.
926
The next day, he does the whole thing again.
927
After three weeks of this, he's sitting at the table.
928
He's playing blackjack and he goes, 21, you win.
929
He goes, of course I win, I always win.
930
He's getting angry.
931
He goes, there's something wrong here.
932
He goes, I want to speak to the head angel.
933
There's something wrong here.
934
And so the head angel comes over.
935
He looks like Guy Lombardi in his tuxedo and says, can I help you, sir?
936
He says, yes.
937
He goes, I win every single time.
938
He goes, there's a mistake here.
939
I don't belong in heaven.
940
I'm not the kind of guy that should be in heaven." And the angel looks at him and said, who said you're in heaven?
941
If we always got everything we wanted, if time was unlimited, would you value life as much?
942
So I'm here to make sure we make every moment matter with meaning and with love.
943
Last question, Tony, before we end.
944
You mentioned there that...
945
And you've talked about it in your seminars, I've seen you talk about it, your relationship with God, the universe.
946
Yes.
947
And I wanted to ask you about that because I think we often refer to a relationship with God, a relationship with the universe.
948
What does a relationship with God and the universe look like?
949
How does one nurture that?
950
What does that mean?
951
It's more of what it feels like to me than what it looks like.
952
It feels like, I feel like I've been guided in my life because I've asked for guidance and I believe I've been created.
953
I think we're all created for different purposes.
954
And my own personal belief, which may be wrong, is that I'm here to make things better.
955
I mean, I wear these silly baseball caps all the time just for fun.
956
But if you read them on the side, it says, be a blessing and you'll be blessed is what it says underneath.
957
And that's my whole philosophy of life, be a blessing.
958
And I think I know one of my sons, Josh, I remember when he became a Christian, I'm of a Christian faith personally, but I'm quite broad in my approach and not restrictive my thinking.
959
And I don't believe everyone should be what I believe to believe.
960
In other words, if you have a spiritual belief, I hope you follow it.
961
Because whatever it is, if you don't follow it, you're probably not going to be happy.
962
And I'm not a proselytator of people to have to be or think a certain way.
963
But I remember my son, he became Christian.
964
And when people, you know, find God in whatever way they find it, they often think no one else has that.
965
It's only their way, you know.
966
And he became very, very rules -driven about this is how it is, and that's how it is.
967
And I was quite concerned.
968
But rather than trying to push him to be a certain way, I told my wife, Sage, I said, honey, we were in Fiji.
969
And I said, you know, I've got a few days.
970
I said, I'm going to go on a fast for the next four days, maybe five, four or five days, just drink juice.
971
And I'm read the whole Bible from cover to cover.
972
And I said, because I've never read it that way.
973
I've never done total immersion, like I talked about.
974
I read the whole Bible and literally about 18 hours a day.
975
And I was struck at the end by an overall pattern.
976
So I went to my son.
977
He's being very devout and very right, wrong, good, bad.
978
And, and anytime you make things extreme i think it creates problems right
979
and i didn't try to make them wrong anyway i said god's this
980
and god's means to ask and this this is what christ did
981
and this is how it is
982
and i said okay josh i said just i have one
983
question for you i said i just read the entire bible from cover to cover
984
and his jaw dropped open i said i'm dead serious
985
and sages he goes he did it i said one thing
986
that comes out of i read the old testament and god seems like a selfish bastard who's mean and vindictive.
987
And I read the New Testament, and God seems incredibly loving and supportive of all.
988
So I said, if that's true, does God grow?
989
And there's this long pause.
990
He felt like he was being trapped.
991
He was like, you're trying to trap me.
992
And I said, I'm not trying to trap you.
993
I'm asking an honest question.
994
I mean, everything in the universe either grows or dies.
995
So does God grow?
996
If the Bible is a real reflection of God—and there are many other books that are a reflection
997
of being inspired by the divine.
998
But let's say that's the book. Does God grow?
999
Because it sure looks like it in the book.
1000
You know?
1001
And if that's true, the only reason I'm bringing that up is, I know what you're fearing is that you can't have absolute certainty about how things are, which is what everybody wants.
1002
But you could have faith.
1003
And I said, he goes, well, God knows everything.
1004
God knows what you're going to do before you're going to do how it's going to be.
1005
And he gave me this rattle.
1006
And I said, okay, I believe all that.
1007
But the question is, does God grow?
1008
And he couldn't give me an answer either way because he felt like he was being trapped in it, but eventually, he loosened up.
1009
And I can say today, he's much more balanced, you know, in that area.
1010
He's not trying to make everybody else believe what he believes.
1011
But I think the universe grows.
1012
I think God grows, and I think it's our job to grow.
1013
And I think that when I look at the spiritual side of life, the relationship I have is one that's more emotional than visual.
1014
I feel like when I get up to serve, God comes through me.
1015
Um, when God, when I stand, when someone stands up and I never say it's a date with destiny, you've been a date with destiny.
1016
You never know who's going to stand up.
1017
They could say, you know, I'm suicidal or they could say, you know, I'm considered killing myself and my five kids.
1018
I mean, I've had that come up.
1019
I could say I made $400 million and I'm depressed
1020
and people want to slap them because you never know what somebody's going to say.
1021
But the minute they stand up inside me, it's already done.
1022
Not because I'm so smart because I know they stood up in this moment, I believe, because this is all by design, and the right answers will come through me, and they do.
1023
I mean, I've never lost the suicide, knock on wood, in, you know, 48 years.
1024
And, you know, I'm sure people have seen...
1025
Some people may have seen I'm Not Your Guru on Netflix.
1026
It's a piece, but you see...
1027
It's fantastic.
1028
You see people six years later, like the woman that was there that was suicidal, that was in that cult where they made you have sex with the adults.
1029
And, you know, she's got out.
1030
She's now a psychologist.
1031
She's rescued all these other kids.
1032
She doesn't have an ounce of depression or suicidal thoughts, you know?
1033
Stanford did a study that shows that.
1034
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that the spiritual side of life is critical.
1035
But what I said to my son is this.
1036
I said, I want everyone's relationship to be God if I had a choice, which I don't.
1037
But if I had a choice, it should be as unique as your signature.
1038
Why should everybody copying everybody else?
1039
should have an individual relationship with God.
1040
So I said, I really appreciate if you read the Bible or you read any great spiritual book, a personal Christian, but read any of them, and let God speak to you.
1041
Don't just take it from another man or woman standing on a stage telling you what to believe.
1042
I always tell people in my events.
1043
I'm not here to tell you how to be.
1044
Who the hell would I be to do that?
1045
I'm just sharing with you insights and tools and strategies that can help you guide yourself to whoever you want to be.
1046
And hopefully to ask you, who do you want be in this lifetime
1047
because in the end what you get is not going to
1048
make you happy who you're going to become that's going to make you happy
1049
or sad so i think i think it's an individual decision
1050
and i think it evolves for people over time
1051
but i think it's one of the most important things
1052
because for those who believe there's nothing you know nihilistic but
1053
but this moment
1054
or this this body um i think that's a big mistake
1055
it's like saying whipster's dictionary is the result of an explosion
1056
at print factory it all came together perfectly in balance i just don't buy
1057
that even logically and i think you're missing out on life
1058
if you don't think there's something more than you
1059
and also something more to serve than you and
1060
that gives me personally a great sense of meaning yeah tony
1061
thank you for your your work your tools your insights your life your service thank you for your time
1062
and energy today thank you for all that you do i appreciate it
1063
so much i'm so grateful for our friendship honestly it's been it's been a real gift
1064
if this clip brought you value
1065
and you'd like to watch something else this next video has been chosen especially for you based on your viewing behaviors.
1066
I hope you enjoy it and if you do please subscribe to the channel so we can keep bringing you fantastic conversations.
ดาวน์โหลดแอป
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คำศัพท์และข้อสังเกตด้านการพูดสำหรับบทเรียนนี้
วิดีโอนี้มี 1066 ประโยค และ 12661 คำ สำหรับฝึกพูดตาม ช่วงที่มีเสียงพูดยาว 56:28 ผู้พูดพูดเร็ว ประมาณ 224 คำต่อนาที จึงมีการเชื่อมเสียงและลดเสียงค่อนข้างมาก 87% ของคำอยู่ใน 3,000 คำที่ใช้บ่อยที่สุดในภาษาอังกฤษ คำศัพท์จึงตามได้ง่าย
คำศัพท์สำคัญในวิดีโอนี้
คำที่ควรเรียนรู้ 15 คำจากวิดีโอ พร้อมคำอ่านและความหมาย:
| คำศัพท์ | คำอ่าน | ความหมาย |
|---|---|---|
| resolve คำกริยา | /ɹɪˈzɑlv/ | ตั้งมั่น, มุ่งมั่น |
| anxiety คำนาม | /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/ | ความวิตกกังวล |
| muscle คำนาม | /ˈmʌs.əl/ | กล้ามเนื้อ, กล้าม |
| trap คำนาม | /tɹæp/ | กับ, กับดัก |
| happiness คำนาม | /ˈhæpinɪs/ | ความสุข |
| wisdom คำนาม | /ˈwɪzdəm/ | ภูมิปัญญา |
| emotion คำนาม | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | อารมณ์ |
| recognition คำนาม | /ˌɹɛkəɡˈnɪʃ(ə)n/ | การจำได้ |
| angel คำนาม | /ˈeɪ̯n.d͡ʒəl/ | เทวดา, ทูตสวรรค์ |
| solve คำกริยา | /sɒlv/ | แก้, แก้ไข |
| extraordinary คำคุณศัพท์ | /ɪksˈtɹɔːrdɪn(ə)ɹi/ | วิสามัญ |
| gene คำนาม | /d͡ʒiːn/ | หน่วยพันธุกรรม |
| reflection คำนาม | /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/ | การสะท้อน |
| consequence คำนาม | /ˈkɑn.sɪ.kwəns/ | ผล, ผลลัพธ์ |
| momentum คำนาม | /ˌmə(ʊ)ˈmɛntəm/ | โมเมนตัม |
กริยาวลีที่คุณจะได้ยิน
| คำศัพท์ | ความหมาย |
|---|---|
| come back คำกริยา | กลับมา |
| give up คำกริยา | ยอมแพ้ |
| go back คำกริยา | กลับไป |
| get up คำกริยา | ลุก |
| go out คำกริยา | ออก, ออกไป |
ไวยากรณ์ในวิดีโอนี้
โครงสร้างที่ผู้พูดใช้บ่อยที่สุด พร้อมคำพูดจริงจากวิดีโอ:
| โครงสร้าง | ในวิดีโอ |
|---|---|
| ประโยคเงื่อนไข if + อนุประโยค, will/would + กริยา — เงื่อนไขและผลลัพธ์ | if I'm wrong, I'll find · If I'm wrong, we'll find · if I'm right, we'll continue |
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — การกระทำที่เริ่มก่อนหน้านี้และยังดำเนินอยู่ | you've been doing · you've been putting · I've been going |
| Present perfect have/has + กริยาช่อง 3 — เหตุการณ์ในอดีตที่ยังเกี่ยวข้องกับปัจจุบัน | that's been · It's been · I've gotten |
| Passive voice be + กริยาช่อง 3 — เน้นสิ่งที่เกิดขึ้น ไม่ใช่ผู้กระทำ | is usually measured · were drunk · be made |
การออกเสียงที่ควรระวัง
ผู้พูดใช้รูปย่อและรูปลดเสียง 380 ครั้ง เช่น you're, I'm, don't ให้พูดแบบสั้นตามที่ได้ยิน
- เสียง “th”: clothing /ˈkloʊðɪŋ/, breathe /bɹiːð/
- เสียง “sh” และ “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, recognition /ˌɹɛkəɡˈnɪʃ(ə)n/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, celebration /ˌsɛl.ɪˈbɹeɪ.ʃən/, shortly /ˈʃɔɹtli/
- คำยาว — ลงเสียงหนักให้ถูกพยางค์: anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, unbelievable /ˌʌnbɪˈliːvəbl̩/, recognition /ˌɹɛkəɡˈnɪʃ(ə)n/, extraordinary /ɪksˈtɹɔːrdɪn(ə)ɹi/, miserable /ˈmɪz(ə)ɹəbəl/
วิธีฝึกกับวิดีโอนี้
- ฟังวิดีโอให้จบหนึ่งรอบโดยยังไม่ต้องพูด แล้วจดคำที่ยังไม่รู้จัก
- เริ่มที่ความเร็ว 0.75× พูดตามทีละประโยค แล้วกลับไปใช้ความเร็วปกติเมื่อเริ่มคล่อง
- อัดเสียงตัวเองแล้วเทียบกับต้นฉบับ โดยสังเกตคำอย่าง resolve, anxiety, muscle เป็นพิเศษ
เทคนิค Shadowing คืออะไร?
Shadowing เป็นเทคนิคการเรียนรู้ภาษาที่ได้รับการรับรองทางวิทยาศาสตร์ พัฒนาขึ้นสำหรับการฝึกนักแปลมืออาชีพ วิธีการนี้เรียบง่ายแต่ทรงพลัง: คุณฟังเสียงภาษาอังกฤษจากเจ้าของภาษาและพูดตามทันที — เหมือนเงาที่ตามผู้พูดด้วยช่วงเวลาห่าง 1-2 วินาที การวิจัยแสดงว่าเทคนิคนี้ปรับปรุงความแม่นยำในการออกเสียง ทำนองเสียง จังหวะ การเชื่อมเสียง การฟังเข้าใจ และความคล่องแคล่วในการพูดได้อย่างมีนัยสำคัญ