Shadowing Practice: 2680 - Conversation Coaching Part: Need to Pivot? - Learn English Speaking with Video
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michelle welcome to part three of our conversation coaching series thank you thank you
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so guys if you missed any of this series stay to the end
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and we'll share episode numbers um and it's definitely okay to listen out of order
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so don't worry about that um so definitely listen
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and we'll give you those numbers yes
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and part one was about improving your small talk part two is about keeping the conversation going
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but today we are talking about what to do
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if you need to pivot maybe the topic has run its course
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or something controversial comes up
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and you can tell we need to change the subject we have all been there what do you do yeah
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so today we are sharing strategies and phrases that can help you know
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when to pivot and how to do it
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so let's hear the episode hello lindsay how are you i'm
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doing good today aubrey how's everything in your world today excellent
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excellent i have a question to start us out today okay
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do you enjoy chatting with friends about polarizing topics divisive topics
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i think it depends on the friend yeah very much i'm
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talking to some people are good at uh separating themselves
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and kind of their egos from the topic i enjoy those conversations
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because it becomes more intellectual more theoretical more uh abstract and i love that I love that kind of topic.
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But when people take things really personally, it can be hard.
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It can be really hard.
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Yeah, I agree.
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A hundred percent.
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I'm the same.
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It depends on who I'm talking to.
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It depends on how open we are to each other's opinions.
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Right.
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Otherwise, it could just be contentious, which is not fun.
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And unfortunately, I feel like now we're in a political moment where it just doesn't happen anymore.
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I think a lot of the politicians in the U.S are retiring or passing away, the ones that used to be able to reach across the aisle and actually have friendships,
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like Joe Lieberman.
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He just passed away.
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And he was a Democrat that apparently had a very strong friendship with John McCain, a Republican.
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And I feel like, sadly, I'm not sure that that would happen now.
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Or maybe it does, but we don't know about it.
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We don't see it on the news because it doesn't catch headlines.
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Right.
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And I wish we could hear about it more
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because yeah i think when people reach across party lines that's
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when real progress is able to be made right i i love a sort of
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that moderate mindset of listening to all sides and
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and really trying to be more cohesive unified yeah yeah in today's episode it's not really about politics
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but it's interesting to think
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which way does it flow does what's going on with the
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people in society flow up to politics where the politicians can't have those friendships across the aisle
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or is it vice versa because there aren't friendships across the aisle uh
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that people are getting divided i don't know
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but something's going on right now yeah this is really interesting we got this great question about a topic
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that can be quite polarizing
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and we want to share with you guys some really good
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tips for discussing controversial topics in english we chatted about one really recently
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when we talked about diamonds right episode 2192 what about diamonds how to approach controversial topics in english
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and we got another question about something else similar be sure to scroll up listen to
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that one if you missed it and we're diving into another controversial topic today
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yeah and this question came in through youtube and by the way guys
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if you don't know we have a youtube channel
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and a lot of our listeners consume our show over there on youtube
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because you can see us on video so go
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and check it out go to youtube type in all there's
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english hit subscribe today this is from julian esteban uh aubry
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would you like to read the question from sure absolutely hello lindsay
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and aubry i've been listening to the podcast for a long
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time it's always fun with valuable content to improve every day
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thank you that's amazing we love to hear it we do
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i have a question i'm not sure how to approach a conversation about environmental pollution and climate change?
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I have tried, but it turns out to be very brief.
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I'd like to know some vocabulary and common phrases about this to deepen the conversation.
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Thank you so much.
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Have a good one.
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Such a great question.
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Yes.
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And so important.
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We can't not talk about these things, but we have to find a way to do it.
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And then when you say you're doing it in another language, it adds a level of challenge that we're here today for our listeners.
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Right, Aubrey?
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Exactly.
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Absolutely.
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And we do have to keep in mind that this could be a polarizing topic.
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I personally know quite a few people who don't believe in climate change, who have very different, you know, just lots of different extremes and opinions.
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And some people who just haven't read a lot about it, aren't very knowledgeable, including myself.
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I know there's a lot that I could learn.
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So we want to keep that in mind.
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What does that mean, polarizing, Lindsay?
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You think about two poles, right?
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We have like the North pole, the South pole, things are very divided.
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People are not in the middle.
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They're on one side or the other.
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And that's where we're talking about the top of the show.
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Our politics these days are very polarizing.
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And unfortunately, climate change is a political issue.
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I personally wish it wasn't a political issue.
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I wish it was just a human issue.
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Right.
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But that's how it is.
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Yeah.
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So let's get into it, Aubrey.
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Yeah.
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So because any topic like this, whether it's politics, religion, climate change, whatever it is, if you know,
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the person you're talking to might disagree or just might not be interested for whatever reason, doesn't want to talk about it.
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The conversation might be brief, right?
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Like this listener noticed, and you might just have to change the topic, right?
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You can't insist on making the conversation longer if the other person really disagrees or really isn't interested.
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So that's the first thing sort of we're going to share some tips today about what to do,
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how to start the conversation and how to read the room so that when you're starting a potentially controversial conversation,
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you know where to take it or how if you should end it.
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Okay, good.
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So what do we need to know first?
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What should we know, Aubrey, before we approach this conversation?
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Yes.
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Our first step is to be open-minded, right?
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If there's a chance that the person you're speaking to won't agree with your opinions, we have to be careful about the language we use.
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It's really easy to say something that will give the impression
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that you think you're right and everyone else is wrong or ignorant.
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And that can just cut the connection off right before you even start the conversation, right, Lindsay?
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Yeah.
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And what would be, I don't know if this is in our plan today, but what would be some key words that would you'd be using
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that would be doing that maybe not even realizing it i think of words like obviously
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or everyone knows we all know you started with like i can't believe anyone doesn't think like
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and then you share your opinion exactly right or
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if you think x then this right so these are sweeping statements
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that could immediately shut down the connection without you even realizing it yeah exactly
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so instead the goal if we want to have a conversation about something where someone might disagree, the goal right from the outset, before you say anything, is to be open-minded,
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tolerant, inclusive of others' opinions, so that it actually is a conversation and not a lecture, not you lecturing them about what you think that they should agree with.
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Yeah, because it's not, with these really divisive issues, it's not about knowledge, right?
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It's about digging into opinions and it gets personal.
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So a lecture isn't going to
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isn't going to bring you closer in agreement exactly right so
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if you can feel within yourself
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that you're not in a position where you can be tolerant of the other side of the issue
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this is a good example i think climate change i think there would be a lot of people who feel
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so strongly one way or the other
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that they recognize like i can't have a constructive conversation a
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respectful conversation where i can listen to another opinion without disagreeing them and been getting really passionate.
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If so, this might be a topic to avoid.
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Oh, for sure. For sure.
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Yes.
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I love that.
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And then number two is read the room.
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Like this expression.
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Read the room.
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What does that mean when we read the room?
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Exactly, right?
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We're really paying attention to the body language as well as what's said of the people you're talking to.
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And right away when you first bring it up for something that's potentially divisive like this,
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potentially contentious, We read the room to see if the other person is even open to discuss it.
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Same for politics, religion, anything controversial.
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Yeah.
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So for example, you might start something, what you say, by saying a lot of us get our information on podcasts these days, right?
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So you might say, I was listening to a podcast about climate change that was pretty eye-opening.
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All right.
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And then stop.
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And then what do we do?
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Yeah.
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Then, so to read the room, you gauge their reaction, right?
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If it's positive and they seem interested, then you might continue with an interesting fact.
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So you will be able to see if they meet eye contact, depending on their tone of voice, you read all of their reactions, read their body language.
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Are they closing in like, oh, I don't feel comfortable talking about this?
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Or are they interested in opening up?
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And if it's positive, they're interested, you might say, you know, it said renewable energy is the key to a safer future.
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What do you think about that?
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So you're like sharing one detail you learned, asking their opinion, and then you again, again, gauge their reaction.
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Okay.
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And then I'm interested in what if you get kind of the downward eye contact, you get a signal when you read the room
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that they're not in agreement with you or they don't want to talk about it.
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What would you do then?
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Would you pivot?
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Yes.
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And this is where I love starting it with, and I know I've recommended this on the podcast before, but to start it with,
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I was listening to a podcast about blank because it's a very easy pivot.
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If they are clearly not interested and they just are kind of like, huh?
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Or something like they're clearly not interested.
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You could just say, what about you?
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Have you heard any interesting podcasts lately?
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And you're opening them to totally change the subject by sharing something they've listened to on a podcast.
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Or if they don't listen to podcasts, what do they know?
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Do they watch TV?
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Change the subject.
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No problem.
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You can chat about this with someone else.
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Interesting.
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So this is a connection episode today, right? because we're showing, it's kind of like politics or pivot, right?
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Do you want to talk about this with me?
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Can we have this conversation or do I need to pivot to, and I love the podcast concept, Aubrey, where it's just a medium right it's a way of
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consuming it could be tv shows i'm watching a movie what other movies have you watched lately it's a pivotable
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and question opener right it's a way we could move i like exactly it avoids
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that potential awkwardness if you broach a topic
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and they clearly don't want to talk about it
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that there might be sort of an awkward choppy transition to something else this is not
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that it's a very easy like what about you what podcast do do you love?
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No problem.
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That's pretty well thought out.
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And sometimes when we do go into these conversations, we have to have that.
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It's almost prescripted a little bit.
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We need to have some tricks up our sleeve.
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The backup if they don't want to talk about it.
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Because you're talking about relationships that could really matter.
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These aren't necessarily strangers.
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This could be a brother-in-law, sister-in-law.
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It could be someone who knows an important work contact, right?
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These could be important relationships you want to make sure you maintain, right? right hey quick question do you want to feel more confident
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when you speak english if
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so we made a free guide for you it'll help you avoid those common mistakes
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and start speaking more naturally in real conversations go grab it in the description below
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and if this is helpful for you make sure that you like
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and subscribe we're here five times a week to help you connect in english okay
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so we've got some really good ideas on how to pivot
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then what would be number three what would be the third tip yes
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so if it turns out someone is interested
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and wants to have this conversation it can be a sort of a mistake
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if you all of a sudden realize like actually don't really know anything about this
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so number three is just to be informed right
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if you've listened to a podcast read a couple articles then you'll have some interesting things to say
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and of course don't be
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that me monster ask questions find out about their opinion make
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like you said lindsay it's not a lecture you're finding out their opinion you're really diving deep too
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because your goal is to find out about this person
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that you care about know about want to know more about find out their opinion yeah
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and be open to not just being well informed
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but being willing to be corrected maybe make sure your your information's coming from a trustworthy source.
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Always be validating your sources.
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Always be open to learning new information, right?
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I think that's another piece that we want to make.
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Okay.
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So we want to share a couple of role plays here because we've shared that when you start this conversation, it can go two different ways.
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They might be uninterested.
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They might be interested.
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So let's share both role plays.
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First, Lindsay and I are good friends here getting a coffee together, and we're going to share what it looks like if someone is not interested in the topic.
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All right.
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So it sounds like here we're going to see a pivot, right?
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We're going to see a pivot in the conversation.
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All right.
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Let's do it.
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All right.
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So, hey, I was listening to a podcast about climate change that was pretty eye-opening.
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Oh, uh-huh.
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Well, what about you?
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Have you listened to any interesting podcasts lately?
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Yes.
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I just discovered a true crime podcast called Counter Clock that I love.
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This is so good.
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This has happened to me before, right?
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Because I love talking about interesting, controversial issues, but I'm careful to gauge, like, are they interested?
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If not, quick pivot away.
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Let's talk about something else.
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I don't want it to be uncomfortable.
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Yeah, I resonate with this.
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I've seen a real difference and it's not better or worse.
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It's just different.
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But in my social interactions on the East Coast, in New England, in a city like Boston, Cambridge, Massachusetts, heavy academic town versus Denver,
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I've seen that there's less, it's not that people believe in this or don't believe in that.
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It's not political.
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It's that there seems to be less interest in talking about these, these issues.
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And there's a lot of talk about skiing, which is great.
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Sometimes I get a little bored, but then I just have to know like this particular person, we're going to relate on this level and that has to be okay.
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And I'm going to seek out friends where I can talk about bigger issues in a more abstract way another day.
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Right.
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So it's not always just, Oh, this is going to be hot button issue
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and we're going to be attacking each other maybe it's just we don't relate on
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that level we don't connect on that level right and it's also really interesting to think about having
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lived a long time in the west i have found
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that once i really get deep i get to know someone well they are interested they are reading about it
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but in general the average person in the western u.s is less confrontational less willing to have the conversation
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that might be divisive less willing to disagree to someone to their face
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so they're avoiding the conversation because they're avoiding all of
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that interesting yeah so there could be a lot of different reasons why you'd get
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that response um denver's a city of transplant
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so people are coming from all over all over the country
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and it's interesting uh the vibe of a place right
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so right if they're coming to denver maybe they're a little more laid back
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and a little less yeah probably okay let's do the interested role play Yeah, I was going to hear as in Boston, you're getting people who are just like digging in.
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Maybe they just went to class and they studied that issue and they want to work it out in, you know, over coffee.
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They want to talk through it and see what they really think.
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You know, it's different.
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Yeah.
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Interesting.
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OK.
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OK, so same situation, but just two different people here.
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Right.
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So I'll start us out.
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I was listening to a podcast about climate change that was pretty eye opening.
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Oh, interesting.
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So what'd they say?
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Well, they were saying that destructive storms have become more intense and frequent because of global warming.
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I didn't realize that was an effect. Did you?
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I guess that makes sense.
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I hadn't really thought about it.
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I hadn't either.
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So I started looking into it more.
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I was reading about pollution not long ago, but I know there's a lot I don't know.
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So what else have you found out lately?
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Nice.
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So I love how this conversation is opening up
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and it all like that's the difference in the reaction where instead of like, oh, uh-huh, you were like, oh, interesting.
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What did they say?
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And from that, I'm like, oh, perfect.
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We're going to talk about this.
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And I'll continue to gauge as it goes because you might want to talk about it for a little bit, but then change the subject, or we might both be really interested and want to dive deep.
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Right.
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We just did an episode about nerding out and geeking out, right?
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There are people that are going to want to talk about any given topic for hours at a time.
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And there are some people that will entertain it for a few minutes
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and then they want to move on to their weekend or something else.
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Nothing's better or worse.
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It's just, it's just personalities.
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Yeah.
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Also the other might depend on their mood.
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How much sleep do they get?
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Are they just kind of in the zone of wanting to have a deep conversation? For sure.
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And I think the piece that we need to include here is having input.
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So I know there's something going on
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that was just in the news this week about climate change that now they're looking to, have you seen this?
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They're looking to engineer brightening clouds where they want to shoot
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moisture up into the clouds to try to mitigate the effects of global warming, like the warming temperature on Earth.
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Have you seen this?
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It's brand new.
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They just tried it out.
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Yeah.
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So having that input, this is how these conversations could start is by getting this input podcasts, newspapers, TV shows, the news, right?
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You could have this conversation instead of, oh, they were saying destructive.
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You're like, they were saying that they're shooting moisture into the clouds.
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They're like, wow, that's interesting.
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It sounds wild.
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I feel like it seems like, I'm not sure if it's going to work, but I guess the signs initially were pretty good from what I heard on the podcast.
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So any takeaway here, Aubrey, we've got a lot of interesting stuff that came out today.
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Yes, for sure.
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And I think the bottom line is when tackling a controversial topic, keep in mind that you must gauge the interest in your conversation partner, right?
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And be open-minded to their opinion, but also recognize like it's going to be sort of constantly reading the room, gauging there so that you can pivot away if needed.
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Yes, I love it.
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And then keep in mind that I think it's important what we also talked about.
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You're right.
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Sometimes people are more likely to talk about divisive issues in certain parts of the country
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or in certain mind states that they're in during the day.
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But I think it's true that some regions consider it impolite
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and threatening to even bring up these topics and others consider it fair game.
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This is how things get discussed.
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It's fair game.
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So think about where you are in the world and it'll be different.
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Yeah.
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That's a very good point.
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Oh, so interesting.
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There's a lot here today.
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I'm excited for you guys to potentially have these conversations.
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So follow these tips to gauge interest, read the room,
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and hopefully you'll be able to have people in your life who also want to dive deep into these interesting topics.
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Well, super interesting guys.
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If you love our style, hit follow on the show, or if you're over on YouTube, hit subscribe.
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All right, Aubrey, talk to you very soon.
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Awesome.
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See you next time.
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Bye.
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All right, Michelle, I loved those role plays.
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One where the other person is interested and one where they're clearly not and you need to pivot to a new topic.
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Yes, exactly.
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And I mean, this is really such an important skill to just save the connection.
357
So we can eliminate that awkward feeling,
358
any awkwardness and avoid offending by reading those physical and verbal cues and pivoting to a new topic if that's needed.
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Exactly.
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So guys, I'm excited for you to practice these skills in your next conversation.
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this is inevitable.
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This happens to everyone and we need to know how to just change the topic, pivot.
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And we need the phrases to do that.
364
We also want to make sure that you don't miss part one and two of this series.
365
So All Ears English 2673 was conversation coaching part one, how long should small talk be?
366
Scroll up if you missed it.
367
And what about part two, Michelle?
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Yeah.
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So part two was 2677 of all ears english
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that was called conversation coaching part two keep the conversation going
371
so guys listen on listen to those
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if you haven't already again they don't need to be in order
373
so don't worry about that
374
and yeah this i think this is just going to be
375
really really helpful right with all three parts of this series
376
you are now ready to be an amazing conversationalist to yeah
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you're prepared know how to small talk to know how to keep the conversation going change the subject
378
if needed amazing
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so excited to bring you this series thank you for joining
380
me michelle thank you aubrey have a good one bye guys bye
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Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 380 cümle ve 4034 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 20:52 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 193 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %87’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| topic isim | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | mevzu, tema |
| podcast isim | /ˈpɑdˌkæst/ | podcast |
| controversial sıfat | /ˌkɑn.tɹəˈvɝ.ʃəl/ | tartışmalı, ihtilaflı |
| friendship isim | /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ | arkadaşlık, dostluk |
| lecture isim | /ˈlɛk.t͡ʃə/ | konferans, ders |
| dive fiil | /daɪv/ | dalmak |
| cloud isim | /ˈklaʊ̯d/ | bulut |
| phrase isim | /ˈfɹeɪ̯z/ | deyim, tabir |
| pole isim | /pəʊl/ | kutup |
| subscribe fiil | /səbˈskɹaɪb/ | abone olmak |
| aisle isim | /aɪ̯l/ | reyon |
| listener isim | /ˈlɪs(ə)nɚ/ | dinleyici |
| ear isim | /ˈɪə̯/ | kulak |
| diamond isim | /ˈdaɪ.ə.mənd/ | pırlanta, elmas |
| awkward sıfat | /ˈɔk.wɚd/ | sakar, beceriksiz |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| find out fiil | anlamak, ortaya çıkarmak | |
| pass away fiil | göçmek, Hakk'ın rahmetine kavuşmak | |
| come out fiil | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | çıkmak |
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | has run · have tried · haven't read |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | contentious, which is · people who don · people who just |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | be made · is read · be informed |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, you're, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 124 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: theoretical /ˌθi.əˈɹɛt.ɪ.kəl/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, trustworthy /ˈtɹʌst.wɜː.ði/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: controversial /ˌkɑn.tɹəˈvɝ.ʃəl/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, pollution /pəˈluʃən/, politician /ˌpɑ.ləˈtɪʃ.ən/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: controversial /ˌkɑn.tɹəˈvɝ.ʃəl/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, politician /ˌpɑ.ləˈtɪʃ.ən/, naturally /ˈnæt͡ʃ.(ə.)ɹə.li/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; topic, podcast, controversial gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.