Shadowing Practice: Celeste Headlee - 10 ways to have a better conversation (Condensed Talk) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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1
A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.
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So I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk and how to listen.
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I'm going to teach you how to interview people, and that's actually going to help you learn how to be better conversationalists.
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Number one, don't multitask.
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I mean, be present.
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Don't be thinking about your argument you have with your boss, don't be thinking about what you're going to have for dinner.
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If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation.
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Number two, don't pontificate.
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If you wanted to state your opinion without any opportunity for response, write a blog.
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You need to enter every conversation, assuming that you have something to learn.
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Bill Nye, everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't.
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Number three, use open-ended questions.
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In this case, take a cue from journalists.
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Start your questions with who, what, where, when, why or how.
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If you put in a complicated question, you're going to get a simple answer out.
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were you terrified, you're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence, which is terrified, and the answer is, yes, I was or no, I wasn't.
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Try asking them things like, what was that like?
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How did that feel?
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Number four, go with the flow.
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Thoughts will come into your mind, and you need to let them go out of your mind.
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We're sitting there having a conversation with someone, and then we remember that time that we met Hugh Jackman in a coffee shop, and we stop listening.
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Stories and ideas are going to come to you, you need to let them come and let them go.
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Number five, if you don't know, say that you don't know.
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Now, people on the radio, especially on NPR, are much more aware that they're going on the record.
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And so they're more careful about what they claim to be an expert in and what they claim to know for sure. Do that.
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Err on the side of caution.
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Number six, don't equate your experience with theirs.
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If they're talking about having lost a family member, don't start talking about the time that you lost a family member.
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It is never the same.
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All experiences are individual.
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Number seven, try not to repeat yourself.
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It's condescending and it's really boring.
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And we tend to do it a lot.
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We have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over.
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Don't do that.
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Number eight, stay out of the weeds.
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Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates.
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They don't care.
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Number nine, listen.
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And look, I know it takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone, but if you can't do that, you're not in a conversation.
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Stephen Covey said it very beautifully.
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He said, Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand.
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We listen with the intent to reply.
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One more rule, number 10, and it's this one. Be brief.
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All of this boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one.
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Be interested in other people.
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Go out, talk to people, listen to people, and most importantly, be prepared to be amazed.
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Thanks.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “Celeste Headlee - 10 ways to have a better conversation”. This video has 48 sentences and 556 words to shadow. The speech runs for 2:59. The speaker talks fast, about 186 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 91% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 14 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| terrify verb | /ˈtɛɹɪfaɪ/ | To frighten greatly; to fill with terror. |
| condescend verb | /ˌkɑndəˈsɛnd/ | To come down from a superior position and do something; to deign; (with a negative connotation) to stoop. |
| conversationalist noun | /ˌkɑːnvɚˈseɪʃənəlɪst/ | A person who participates in a conversation. |
| equate verb | /ɪˈkweɪt/ | To consider equal or equivalent (to or with). |
| multitask verb | To schedule and execute multiple tasks (program) simultaneously; control being passed from one to the other using interrupts. | |
| pontificate verb | /pɔnˈtɪf.ə.keɪt/ | To preside as a bishop, especially at mass. |
| rephrase verb | To say or write something with different wording. | |
| boil verb | /bɔɪ(ə)l/ | To heat to the point where it begins to turn into a gas. |
| beautifully adverb | /ˈbju.tɪ.fə.li/ | In a beautiful manner. |
| bore verb | /boɹ/ | To inspire boredom in somebody. |
| theirs | /ðɛɚz/ | That or those belonging to them; the possessive case of they, used without a following noun. |
| caution noun | /ˈkɔːʃ(ə)n/ | Prudence when faced with, or when expecting to face, danger; care taken in order to avoid risk or harm. |
| frankly adverb | /fɹæŋkli/ | In a frank or candid manner, especially in a way that may seem too open, excessively honest, or slightly blunt. |
| importantly adverb | /ɪmˈpɔɹ.tənt.li/ | Used to mark a statement as having importance. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| get out of verb | To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of. |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 25 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, you're, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: conversationalist /ˌkɑːnvɚˈseɪʃənəlɪst/, caution /ˈkɔːʃ(ə)n/
- Long words — get the stress right: conversationalist /ˌkɑːnvɚˈseɪʃənəlɪst/, pontificate /pɔnˈtɪf.ə.keɪt/, beautifully /ˈbju.tɪ.fə.li/, importantly /ɪmˈpɔɹ.tənt.li/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like terrify, condescend, conversationalist.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.