Shadowing Practice: How to Enter Your Level Up Era: Stop Chasing, Go Ghost, and Focus on You ✨ - Learn English Speaking with Video
Bir pratik modu seçin
Her mod tam ekran bir pratik odası açar.
565 cümleler
Cümleler çok kısa veya çok uzun ise, ayarlamak için Düzenle'ye tıklayın.
1
You wanna know what the biggest flex is?
2
It's letting people miss out on you.
3
You go silent, you go ghost, and you focus so hard on yourself and not so one day they regret losing you.
4
Because honestly, I hear people say that all the time.
5
It's like, make them regret losing you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
6
No, the real sign that you've actually leveled up is when you just genuinely don't care anymore.
7
Whether they regret it, whether they miss you, whether they see you doing better now.
8
As someone who has had friends that talked behind my back, left me out, a partner that did not treat me well, used me.
9
When you pour all of that energy that you were giving to them back to yourself, I promise you, you will level up in ways you never even thought you could.
10
And then naturally, you evolve into someone that they could never have access to even if they wanted to.
11
And not because you're trying to prove something to them, it's because you are finally choosing yourself instead of them.
12
The true biggest level up in your life will happen
13
when you stop chasing validation from people who were never capable of giving you what you wanted in the first place.
14
And so in this video, I'm going to teach you exactly how to let people miss out on you
15
so that you can finally level up your life.
16
If you're new here, hello, my name is Lena and I share all things leveling up and becoming your best self.
17
So if you want to become your best self with me, make sure you subscribe because if you're not subscribed, what are you doing?
18
Okay, what are you doing?
19
Go subscribe right now.
20
Stop chasing people who already showed you they're okay with losing you.
21
I don't know who needs to hear this, but stop chasing people who already showed you that they are okay with losing you.
22
Whether it's a friend, it's a coworker, a guy that you're interested in, a family member.
23
If someone keeps disrespecting you, overlooking you, confusing you, making you feel unwanted,
24
you need to stop trying to convince them to value you.
25
All right, we're gonna get into a few story times
26
because i'm not about to sit here and preach to you
27
If I didn't go through these things myself I went through a lot of humbling things myself.
28
So story time number one I had this friend in college
29
that you know
30
when we became friends we became close super fast It was like one of those things where you meet somebody
31
and you're like, oh, this is gonna be my bestie And especially because when I first got to college, I actually really struggled to make friends like guys The amount
32
of weekends I spent alone no plans no friends no nothing
33
I was literally just sitting in my dorm room alone every single weekend by myself
34
because I was just struggling to make friends.
35
So when I met her, right, it felt like fate.
36
Let's call her Christina.
37
Okay, so Christina when we first met it felt like fate like this is gonna be my best friend for life.
38
It felt like, you know, I finally have such a good friend in my corner.
39
I love her so much.
40
We're gonna be besties forever.
41
But you know the next year she started to become really close with this other girl, which is fine by the way.
42
Okay, I'm not like a territorial friend.
43
Like if you're my friend, you can have other friends.
44
Absolutely like please so initially like I honestly was happy for her
45
and at the time too I was making other friends it seemed fine at first
46
but then I started to notice something over time
47
if I didn't text her first we would literally never talk
48
I was always the one reaching out trying to FaceTime her
49
trying to talk to her always the one asking her to hang out always trying to check in with her
50
and you know whenever Christina and her friend would hang out she would never invite me
51
and like sometimes I would ask her like hey what are you up to today
52
and she'd be like oh like not much not much
53
and then I'd see later that they'd be like hanging out together on their own, which, you know, why can't you just be honest with me that you're hanging out together?
54
Like it's fine.
55
Um, so then I started to notice this pattern of just, I was putting in way more effort than she was.
56
I could just tell that Christina, she did not value our friendship the way that I did.
57
But the thing is, I still really wanted to be her friend.
58
So even when she would leave me out, even when she would kind of like white lie to me about what she's doing, even though she would never really put an effort to text me
59
or call me or check in on me or make plans with me.
60
I was willing to carry that weight and continue to reach out to her and, and put in the work for our friendship because I just wanted to continue being friends.
61
And that lasted for years, you guys.
62
And I'm not about to sit here and pretend like I was like the perfect friend too.
63
Like, you know, there was a time too, where I got into a relationship and it was my first ever relationship and unhealthy relationship.
64
And so I started spending all of my time with him.
65
And so there was clashing with Christina and me during that time because I was always hanging out with my boyfriend.
66
Yes, I used to be one of those girls.
67
Ugh.
68
Yeah, but anyway, story time number two.
69
So this is when I first started to take content creation very seriously.
70
It was my senior year of college.
71
I was like, I wanna do this full time when I graduate.
72
Like, I'm just gonna go for it, go for my dreams.
73
And so I was, you know, with friends with Christina and her other friend at the time.
74
It was like a group of us, except I didn't actually feel part of that group because I would always be left out.
75
But I remember during this time, I was posting a lot more like gym content.
76
I was posting a lot more like motivational content.
77
and on my IG stories, whenever I saw like a motivational quote that would inspire me, I would post it on my story.
78
And I remember this one time we were all sitting in the living room.
79
I forgot how the conversation even started, but Christina's like, you know, Lena, sometimes your posts can be like really intense.
80
And then I see Christina and that other friend looking at each other, looking at each other like this,
81
like, and you know, that look when you know that people were talking about you before, like behind your back, it was that look.
82
Okay.
83
So I knew that they were talking about my content behind my back
84
because it wasn't the first time she's made like a subtle comment about my content in front of our other friend.
85
Like there were many times throughout that friendship where I felt really insecure
86
or just like I felt bad for even posting on my Instagram like any of my content creation stuff
87
because I felt like it was annoying them.
88
That's a whole other thing.
89
And let me tell you something guys.
90
At the time because I was trying
91
so hard to keep these friends in my life I didn't realize
92
that that's actually not what good friends do because today the friends that I have in my circle now, they are ride or die.
93
Majority of my friends, they are not content creators, but whenever they see any of my posts, they always try to show love or even when they see me in person, they always, you know, encourage me.
94
Like they're so, so supportive of what I do.
95
And so those friends, Christina and the other friends at our friend group, they made my job and my dream feel like a burden to them and something annoying to them.
96
And I thought that that was normal.
97
I blamed myself, you know, but now as a grown adult with actually good quality friends, I realized that those are not good friends.
98
They were actually my biggest ops.
99
They were my biggest haters because they are people that are supposed to love me and support me.
100
And they were the ones talking behind my back.
101
They were the ones like making sly comments in front of me.
102
Another thing I just remembered is actually that was when I started gaining followers.
103
When that happened in the living room, like I had like a decent amount of followers, but guys, when I first started on social media and started posting stuff, like I remember they would sometimes say things like,
104
okay, content creator, okay, influencer.
105
And like, they probably didn't mean it in like a bad way at the time.
106
But I noticed that when I actually became one, you know, like became a content creator, they stopped making those comments.
107
And instead it started becoming comments like, Oh, like some of the things you post can be like kind of intense, you know, like, okay, then unfollow me.
108
Why are you friends with me?
109
And I knew I felt terrible around them.
110
I knew that they were not treating me well, but I just wanted to be friends with them that bad that I let them treat me that way.
111
Okay.
112
Now I'm going to need a judgment free zone because I'm about to spill some tea about myself.
113
My pattern of overlooking bad behavior wasn't just in friendships.
114
It was in relationships too.
115
To be fair, I just turned 20 years old and it was my first serious relationship I've ever been in.
116
And at the time I was a broke college student living in New Jersey with my parents.
117
The real ones know it was that room.
118
It's actually like a storage room.
119
Um, and it was that room with no windows. And
120
when I was dating this person every single weekend I would
121
drive from New Jersey where I lived with my parents all
122
the way to New York City just to see this person
123
and like guys the toll from New Jersey to New York
124
it's expensive I think at the time it was cheaper
125
but it's like 15 dollars now every single time you come in
126
and that's not even including gas money okay gas is expensive also I wanted to add
127
that if you don't know
128
and you don't live in New York parking in New York
129
is a pain in the pain in the butt okay we have parking garages in New York City
130
but they're very expensive it could be like 25, 30, $40 per hour that you park your car.
131
And so I would have to find street parking.
132
So whenever I would drive all the way to New York cities to see him, which with traffic, it'd be like an hour.
133
I would drive for like another hour trying to look for parking.
134
And he wouldn't even help me.
135
He wouldn't help me.
136
He never offered, Hey, can I help with gas money?
137
Hey, can I help with the toll?
138
At least can I help you with finding parking?
139
None of that.
140
None of that never offered, never offered anything, never offered to help,
141
never offered to visit me in New Jersey to make my life easier At least one weekend, never, never.
142
And every single time I would come see this person on the weekend, I would end up leaving at like four or 5am because you know, at the time I could only see him on the weekend because I lived with my parents in Jersey.
143
And so he would always ask me to stay way later.
144
And so I would stay, but super late.
145
And every single time I left his apartment, guys, he would just like fall asleep and then never walk me to my car.
146
And so I would have to leave his apartment by myself and walk myself to my car.
147
Now look, that might not sound like a big deal to some of you, but in New York city, I like three, four, 5.00 AM.
148
It gets very sus, especially in that area.
149
There was one night where I walked to my car
150
and this man who was like clearly on drugs and was also homeless.
151
Like he chased me, he chased me.
152
And I ran into my car and I locked my car and it was like four in the morning.
153
I was terrified.
154
And I remember after that, I told that person at the time, look, if I'm driving all the way to see you every single weekend,
155
an hour, two hour commute with traffic just to come see you spending gas money
156
and tolls and all this to come see you.
157
The least you could do is walk me to my car, especially because I'm a girl, like it's dangerous, especially at that time.
158
And he was like, okay, yeah, yeah, I will.
159
Next time I saw him, didn't do it again, fell asleep.
160
And then when I brought it up to him, I was like, I told you I got chased by this man literally last weekend
161
and you still don't want to walk me to my car.
162
And his excuse was, Oh, like I'm tired from work.
163
Like, what do you want me to do?
164
I was gonna walk you to your car.
165
I just fell asleep.
166
I'm tired.
167
So many excuses.
168
Another thing is like that entire year we were dating where I was living in New Jersey with my parents.
169
He never offered to come visit me in New Jersey.
170
He always expected me to drive all the way from New Jersey to go see him in New York city.
171
I remember this time I asked him like, Hey, can you come visit me in Jersey one of these days?
172
And he made this excuse.
173
He goes, you know, I don't have my license and it's a lot easier for you to just drive, you know?
174
Like, no, he was just lazy and he didn't want to put in the effort.
175
I don't care if you don't have a license and you don't have a car.
176
Look, I did not have the money at the time.
177
I'm not asking you to take a $70, $80 Uber all the way to New Jersey, but you could take the bus, take public transportation, figure it out.
178
And there was just a couple of times where he visited me at home in Jersey.
179
And guys, every time he came to visit me, it was because I went to go pick him up.
180
Yes, I would drive from Jersey to New York City to go pick him up to go back to New Jersey.
181
And then after we'd hang out in New Jersey, I would drop him off in New York City.
182
I told you guys, I need a judgment-free zone.
183
I need a judgment-free zone.
184
My friends joke to me, they're like, oh, so like you're his personal Uber driver now.
185
And I was like, you got me, you got me there.
186
And I remember him making excuse after excuse of why he never put in effort, why he always expected me to do everything.
187
And because I wanted to keep him in my life so badly, because I wanted to be chosen and in a relationship
188
and feel loved so badly that I was willing to put up with that.
189
And there are so many stories like that, but a lot worse, guys.
190
And when I think about those stories, like my heart just breaks for the younger version of me because,
191
you know, I always thought love meant proving your worth and proving how loyal you are, staying even when it's hard and forgiving over and over again.
192
But the more that you chase people who are okay hurting you, you are abandoning yourself every time.
193
And that's what I did for like majority of my life until this past year where I woke up.
194
You are not responsible for how badly someone treats you, but you are responsible for what you continue to allow from them.
195
Because every excuse you make for someone else's behavior, it actually becomes a reflection of what you think you deserve.
196
So stop trying to convince people to value you.
197
The right people who are meant to be in your life do not need any convincing.
198
Okay, so your girl has another story.
199
It's about that relationship again with that person.
200
So this is when I first started seeing this person.
201
And when I met him, he had just gotten out of like a two and a half year relationship or something like that.
202
And you know, at first he told me it ended like six months before he met me, but also another time he said it was three months before me.
203
You've told me two different times.
204
Can you just confirm to me
205
when was the last time you actually spoke to her and then you actually finally blocked her and all this stuff?
206
And at the time he said, oh, that was like three months ago.
207
So mind you, when he met me, it was only just a couple months after he stopped emotionally, whatever, entertaining that other relationship.
208
So that is a red flag number one.
209
Okay.
210
If someone is not honest with you when they stopped actually seeing a person and like their timelines keep changing, that's a red flag.
211
Also three months after like a long term relationship like that.
212
And you're already trying to find somebody new, like you need time to heal, sir.
213
Like you need time to heal.
214
Anyway, look, I was like 19, 20 at the time.
215
I was like, yay, my first relationship thing.
216
Like I'm excited.
217
I ignored all the red flags.
218
And another big red flag is that, you know, that person had told me his ex was like a terrible person, like a complete villain.
219
She was horrible.
220
She was crazy.
221
She treated me terribly, like all these things.
222
Now I'm just going to pause right there to my ladies and gents.
223
Whenever someone new you meet tells you that every ex of theirs was the problem, that means that they're the problem, okay?
224
But now we know.
225
Anyway, we weren't actually even dating officially at that point.
226
This was only a couple weeks into seeing each other and talking to each other.
227
And we went to my friend's beach house.
228
I was like in a bikini.
229
We're on the beach and he takes a photo of me.
230
He's like, Oh, like look here.
231
And he like takes a photo of me.
232
I'm in my bikini.
233
I'm like, okay, that's fine.
234
But then he posts it on his close friend's story.
235
Now he told me he had his ex blocked, right?
236
Like he was like, Oh, she was terrible.
237
I hate her block drop of everything.
238
But his close friend's story had all of his ex's best friends on there.
239
And so he knew exactly what he was doing.
240
I remember when he posted that, Like I didn't feel good about that because I was like, first of all, we're not even official yet.
241
And also, why are you posting a bikini photo of me on your close friends?
242
Like that's a little weird.
243
And then let me tell you, the next day he shows me this Instagram story that his ex posted.
244
It says something like his new girlfriend is laughing with him thinking that she won in life.
245
Now we both look like idiots or something like that.
246
I'll like put it here somewhere.
247
Like it was some generic like quotes story, which is also kind of like sus.
248
but anyway that's not really a girl's girl type of energy
249
but anyway like I get it she was she was probably hurt
250
but she posted that on her story and then he somehow saw it
251
so he shows it to me
252
and he's like starts laughing he's like oh like look what my ex posted
253
and I was like why do you even have her on Instagram like I thought you said you blocked her
254
and he was like oh I did block her
255
but my friend sent me this it's because she saw the story I posted of you like yesterday and I was like, are you kidding me?
256
Guys, this man was using me to make his ex jealous.
257
And two things can be true.
258
I think at the time he was interested in me and he genuinely wanted to be in a relationship with me, but also you dragged me into a mess with you and your ex that I never signed up for.
259
Like, why did you think it was okay to put me in the middle of your guy's little game?
260
Like, I don't want to be part of that.
261
And when that happened, I didn't feel good.
262
I didn't feel good, but I just Overrid my intuition.
263
I was like, I know something's wrong here, but it's because I wanted to be chosen
264
so badly I wanted to be in a relationship so badly And
265
so that's my point right like the more you chase people
266
who are okay with hurting you Disrespecting you using you the more you abandon yourself in that process
267
Your attachment goes deeper than the person
268
so a lot of times you're not actually attached to them When I think about those friends or that relationship, I wasn't attached to them as a person.
269
They were not good friends They were people who did not treat me well, but I was attached to feeling chosen feeling wanted I was attached to validation just having somebody
270
and not being alone I was always thinking about potential like
271
the potential of this person to be better I also had a deep fear of abandonment
272
and a lot of times guys that fear of abandonment You think
273
that you don't have it but trust if you are a people pleaser
274
if you have trouble setting boundaries
275
If you allow people in your life to constantly disrespect you betray you It's probably because you have this wound of abandonment.
276
Let me tell you the cold hard truth.
277
The people you allow into your life reflects how you see yourself.
278
That's why letting go of these people who don't treat you well, it's painful.
279
Because it actually activates wounds that existed way longer before that friendship, that relationship started.
280
I always talk about this a lot, but the real ones already know my backstory.
281
Like I grew up in a very unstable childhood and I grew up with an alcoholic, narcissist, very neglectful father.
282
And so my whole life, all I knew was instability.
283
And so that caused me to crave love and crave approval, wanting to feel chosen and feel safe for once.
284
And also when you grow up like that, your self-worth gets like distorted.
285
I did not have self-worth growing up at all because I never learned it from my parents.
286
So I learned to tolerate disrespect, tolerate terrible friendships, tolerate being used in relationships, tolerate people that didn't treat me well.
287
And the thing that I had to be honest with myself was my self-worth was
288
so low that I would rather be chosen by someone that didn't treat me well than be abandoned.
289
Hi, Leo.
290
mama is filming mama's filming
291
and this past year i made arguably like two of the
292
hardest decisions i've ever had to make in my life i cut off my dad i got out of
293
that relationship that i was in for five years i am doing the inner work on my self-worth
294
so that i never allow myself to be treated
295
that way ever again i'm not letting another person define my worth i'm defining it for myself.
296
And you know what like the crazy part of all of this is, is like before I went on this whole healing journey and like learning to love myself, learning all these new things about myself,
297
learning about my traumas and wounds and all that, I like thought I was a confident person.
298
You know, I had like my dream glow up.
299
I lost weight.
300
I built a platform.
301
I became successful.
302
And you know, I finally had money, like all these things that I never had before.
303
And so I genuinely thought like, I'm up like, and on the surface level, like you guys might look at my life and think that, you know, I'm up.
304
But the people that I was surrounding myself with, the people I allowed into my life, I let them use me.
305
I let them disrespect me, drain me, treat me terribly.
306
And this is just what you have to swallow.
307
You need to realize
308
that the people you keep fighting to keep in your life is a reflection of how you see yourself.
309
So if you continue to keep relationships in your life that are draining you, people who are disrespecting you, that is how you see yourself.
310
And so before you develop this super close friendship
311
or get into a relationship before you do any of
312
that You need to do the inner work first
313
and love yourself first Stop holding on to things
314
and people who are not meant for you Stop making people a priority when they treat you like an inconvenience
315
Listen to that one more time.
316
Okay Stop making people a priority that treat you like an inconvenience
317
Because the longer
318
that you hold on to people who are not meant for you the less room you make for people
319
and opportunities that are meant to be in your life.
320
And I am your proof of this, okay?
321
When I was in that relationship, guys, like the life was being sucked out of me, okay?
322
I was constantly supporting this person emotionally, financially, mentally.
323
I was draining and draining myself, pouring into this other person.
324
And it's because I was so afraid of being alone.
325
I was so afraid of this person abandoning me that I was willing to constantly abandon myself.
326
But guys, the way that relationship ended, it broke my heart.
327
And I could tell you right now, it was the best thing.
328
And I don't wanna get into details of how that relationship ended because that is not important.
329
Just know that the way that relationship ended, like my heart was broken, like shattered.
330
I didn't think I would ever recover.
331
I was so heartbroken.
332
But looking back, I'm so grateful that happened because that happening forced me to gain space, space to actually heal, space to actually pour into myself,
333
to become confident and stop depending and loving people who weren't treating me right in the first place.
334
It gave me the space to learn how to be alone and actually enjoy it.
335
And I was just pouring back into myself, my routines, my healing, my relationship with God, my purpose.
336
Like, I feel like you could just tell radiating off of me, like I am a different person than I was just six months ago.
337
When all of your energy is going into carrying another person, fixing another person, you are blocking your blessings.
338
You are blocking your own growth.
339
And like another perfect example of this is like this video that you're watching right here.
340
I I genuinely would have never made a video like this
341
just like a year ago I would have never made a video like this
342
if it wasn't for that breakup that I went through
343
and also cutting off my dad Like those were traumatizing things
344
that changed my brain chemistry But also in a good way
345
because now i've been inspired to make videos like this to inspire
346
and help those of you who are going through The same things
347
and like to help you get through the pain that you're in
348
and i've gotten so many comments from you already Like saying how much of a glow
349
that I have and it's because all
350
that energy I was pouring into all of these people that never ever poured into my cup.
351
I'm putting all that energy back into me and when I tell you my life has changed, changed for the better.
352
Stop over explaining yourself.
353
Look, stop writing those double space, a Times New Roman size 12 font, long essay paragraphs, trying to make this person understand why they hurt you and trying to prove your worth.
354
And I'm telling you this from experience, okay?
355
The amount of essays I've wrote to people who have treated me terribly, trying to make them understand, trying to make them change,
356
A waste of my time a waste of my time Like
357
I said many times before people who genuinely care about you don't need to be taught
358
or explained how to treat you Right people who genuinely care about you They care
359
that they hurt you and they won't gaslight you and manipulate you
360
and make you feel crazy for what they did wrong One really hard thing
361
that I had to accept is that people who are committed to misunderstanding you will misunderstand you no matter what, no matter how well you explain yourself.
362
And I had to learn this recently in a lot of different painful ways.
363
Like I'm very much scratching the surface of a lot of these painful relationships that I've experienced, but I had a person or people who I used to be very close to
364
and I trusted and I gave so much of myself to people that I had done, would have done and done anything for.
365
As soon as I stopped giving them access and stopped letting them treat me that way, They turned around and completely painted me as the villain, said very hurtful things, smeared my name,
366
rewrote stories, trying to make them look like the good person.
367
And this might get a little deep, but look, if you grew up around overt or covert narcissists, if you've been friends with one, if you've dated one, had family members like that,
368
friends like that, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about.
369
They will gaslight, manipulate, paint you as the villain and make themselves look like the victim.
370
And so one of the hardest parts of my healing journey was actually accepting that.
371
You know, these people who have hurt me and they're going around saying whatever about me, smearing my name, doing that, like doing this, that, and the third, making me seem like the villain,
372
like that used to hurt me so much.
373
But now I've realized that I don't need to be understood by everybody.
374
I know my experience.
375
I know my reality.
376
And I don't need to keep trying to defend myself, explain my intentions to people who benefit from misunderstanding me.
377
Some people need to paint you as the villain because otherwise they would have to take accountability for how they treated you.
378
And one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn in
379
like leveling up my life is true closure is not always someone else finally understanding your side
380
and finally admitting that they're wrong.
381
A lot of times closure is just accepting that they will never do that, but forgiving them for yourself, not for them, for you,
382
for your peace so that you can move forward and move on because you know yourself, you are so sure of yourself and your character that they can paint you however they want,
383
but you are so sure of yourself that it does not matter what they think.
384
Put all that energy back into yourself.
385
So imagine if all that energy that you spent stalking their page, overthinking, crying over them, replaying conversations in your head, trying to prove your worth.
386
Imagine if all of that went into your routines, your growth, your healing, your peace, alone time.
387
I'm telling you that energy shift will change your life.
388
Take it from me.
389
Ever since I did that, my life has leveled up for the better.
390
When I stopped trying to prove my worth to people who never saw it in the first place, my life has leveled up.
391
And truly the best way to focus on yourself and level up your life is actually tracking where your energy is going.
392
And so that's why I started documenting my entire healing journey on Cove.
393
Like there is just pages and pages of like journal entries, notes, like me ranting, brain dumping.
394
And look, My healing journey, it's not always cute and aesthetic, okay?
395
I posted many photos and videos of me, like, screaming, crying, sliding down the wall.
396
But documenting and tracking it has been so, so helpful.
397
And Cove is by far the best tool because this is where I literally keep everything.
398
Like, all my thoughts, my brain dumps, my goals, ranting, like, anything that I'm working through, trying to heal.
399
It is, like, basically my brain on paper.
400
And I just wanted a place to save all my memories and brain dump when I wanted to.
401
but a safe space away from social media.
402
So I don't feel any pressure and I could just be fully honest with myself.
403
And let me tell you guys, it has been so freeing to have a space like this.
404
And another thing that I love about it is like I can save tick tocks
405
or any videos
406
that really inspire me like
407
here's a perfect
408
example yeah
409
okay I don't want to be copyrighted
410
so only gonna show you a little snippet of
411
that not only can you journal save photos
412
and videos on cove you can also save links to anything
413
that helps you on your healing journey anything that you want to save
414
because the amount of tiktoks guys that i watch and i love
415
but i it's like out in the abyss i like it
416
but then it's like in the abyss i have no idea where
417
that tiktok is and here i'm going to show you guys how i do it
418
so this is a perfect example do not forget that
419
when you don't allow people to do whatever they want to
420
you you will always be the villain in their story
421
and you have should be okay with that
422
when you have clock it um
423
so yeah i love what this girl said she is spitting facts
424
and she's absolutely gorgeous so
425
if i want to save this all i have to do is go here go to more
426
and then hit cove and then my memory is saved
427
and then i just choose which cove to add it in
428
so i'm going to add it into my healing journey cove
429
and then voila so then You can just click it and it goes directly into
430
The dick talk I had so many tick tocks and youtube videos
431
and podcasts clips of like quotes and things like that
432
That have helped me on my healing journey And
433
so cove has literally been the goat
434
because I could literally save everything on there But yeah what you will notice if you document your level up journey
435
Whether it's on cove
436
or your notes app your photos app the moment You stop directing all of your energy outward
437
and focusing on them and start directing it inward and reflecting on yourself working on bettering yourself,
438
reflecting, processing, that's when things will actually start to shift in your life.
439
And look, your life is not gonna change overnight.
440
Like you're gonna have to put in the work
441
and it's gonna take some time to heal and get to a place where you are fully detached from that friendship, that relationship, that family member.
442
But I promise if you continue to be focused on your journey and track it and stay on track, you will overcome it.
443
So yeah, if you wanna try out Cove, I'm gonna have it linked in my description, but whether it's Cove or your notes app, whatever it is, I highly, highly recommend that you track your progress.
444
Silence is the biggest power move.
445
So take it from your big sis.
446
Do not post to try to prove something.
447
Do not try to make this person jealous.
448
Do not announce your glow up that you're doing well off without them.
449
The biggest flex that you could do is actually to completely disappear.
450
And I'm not saying that you don't post ever, but just to not post with that friend in mind, that relationship in mind.
451
But going ghost a little bit, like taking a little break from posting all the time and rebuilding yourself quietly and privately.
452
I think there's like such a beautiful thing about
453
that rebuilding yourself privately and you need that
454
and even for me like my job is social media
455
but I still took a good amount of time off to actually work on myself privately
456
and that was the best thing I ever did
457
because social media it's a lot of opinions and noise
458
and distracting and so when you get rid of all of
459
that you can put all of your focus
460
and attention on yourself real growth is quiet and look I know it's hard to hear.
461
Okay.
462
When I was like in the midst of my pain and sorrow, I wanted to be messy.
463
Oh my gosh.
464
The amount of times like after a friendship breakups or relationship breakup, whatever, I wanted to be messy and sub people and say something, expose something, whatever.
465
But the real healing and glow up in my life only happened
466
when I stopped trying to portray a glow up
467
and a perfect life and that I'm up and actually put in the work to get there.
468
You know, that's It's like true rich people like people who are really
469
really rich like they got wealth They do not need to be dripped down in Chanel
470
and Gucci every single day and holding stacks of money everywhere They go to prove that they're rich,
471
you know, this goes for people in happy relationships people in truly happy Successful relationships.
472
They don't need to post how happy their relationship is all the time
473
True healed unhurt people don't need to be subbing the people that hurt them Let yourself grieve, but do not stay there.
474
You can miss someone, you can love someone, but still know that they're not good for you.
475
And true healing doesn't mean pretending like you don't care at all.
476
It just means you need to accept reality instead of their potential.
477
And I'm gonna be honest, guys, I hate, well, hate is a strong word.
478
I strongly dislike a lot of the advice that's out there for women, especially online, because they always say things like, why do you care what they think?
479
They don't pay your bills.
480
You need to level up so hard so that they regret losing you.
481
Like, I'm sorry.
482
That is just like Delulu.
483
And also, in my opinion, terrible advice.
484
Because if your entire healing journey is trying to prove them wrong and prove your worth, you're still centering your life around them.
485
And people treating you right doesn't mean they have to pay your bills.
486
It means they respect you.
487
They value you.
488
They treat you well.
489
It's not all about money.
490
But anyway, true detachment from that relationship, from that friendship, from that family member, that comes when you stop centering your life around them.
491
You stop checking if they watched your story.
492
You stop wondering if they miss you.
493
You stop hoping that they regret it.
494
The real healing happens when you improve yourself and you stop keeping score.
495
And that's something hard.
496
And that's a hard realization that I had to learn because I was very much like, at first, my mindset was like, I want to get revenge on that person, blah, blah, blah.
497
Like, now that I'm a lot more healed, no, that's actually not true healing.
498
You should go to the gym because you feel good.
499
You should heal because you deserve peace.
500
You should level up because you want a better life.
501
Not centering any of that around them.
502
They are out of your life.
503
They are in the past.
504
It is time to look up.
505
Move forward.
506
They're down here.
507
You need to look up.
508
And it's so funny when I was like going through all my healing stuff the past six months, like something my brother would always tell me was leans.
509
Like my name is Lena.
510
My older brother calls me leans.
511
I would go to him like crying, sobbing, so sad, whatever.
512
He just look at me.
513
He'd go leans.
514
You need to look up.
515
Like you need to stop looking down and stop crying over this person that treated you a certain way.
516
Stop crying over how hurt you feel.
517
And you need to look up.
518
You need to look up at your potential.
519
You have the rest of your life to live.
520
And this pain, if you don't let it break you, it is going to build you.
521
So look up.
522
And so that's something I always tell myself.
523
And also you guys should tell yourself too.
524
Like you need to look up.
525
Your life doesn't end because someone in your life didn't treat you well and is now out of your life.
526
But at the same time, it's also important to feel it and cry and grieve.
527
And let me tell you, girl, I did a ton of that.
528
I did a ton of that.
529
I cried almost every single day for like months.
530
It was terrible, but I got it out.
531
I got it out.
532
And that helped me process so much as well as journaling and Cove and all that.
533
But when you cry and grieve it and process it, you stop returning to something and someone that keeps hurting you.
534
And I'm telling you this from experience, like all those people that have hurt me in my past, I'm not fully healed, but I'm in a very, very much way more healed state.
535
And I would never, ever allow those people in my life
536
that treated me like that to ever treat me like that ever again.
537
Become someone the old version of you would be proud of.
538
So your main goal shouldn't be to get revenge.
539
Your goal shouldn't be to make them regret losing you.
540
The real level up is you becoming so healed, so disciplined, so peaceful, so confident,
541
so aligned that you no longer recognize the version of yourself that begged for bare minimum love.
542
And the real win honestly is when you're able to feel good about yourself without putting the other person down.
543
Like I'm up, they're down, like they're down bad.
544
They're terrible.
545
They suck.
546
They're doing horrible in life.
547
Like you don't need to do that.
548
You are just so up that you're, you never look down.
549
You never look down at where they're at.
550
You don't, you don't care where they're at.
551
You don't care who they're with.
552
You don't care how many friends they have.
553
It just, It just doesn't matter because you are so up.
554
You are so elevated.
555
You are so aligned with what God has for you.
556
You do not care.
557
I really, really hope this video helped.
558
I know I have a couple videos like this, like let them lose you, let them miss out on you.
559
But it's because this topic is a very passionate topic of mine right now.
560
And yeah, if you guys have any other suggestions on what you want me to talk about, anything you want me to give advice about, anything you need help with, let me know.
561
By the way, make sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok.
562
I post daily on there and I love you guys so, so much.
563
And I hope to catch you in my next video.
564
Bye.
565
I'm going to find a way to go
Uygulamayı İndir
Akıcı konuşmak için ihtiyacınız olan her şey
AI TelaffuzHer cümleyi puanla
IPA AlıştırmasıHer sesi ustalaştır
Kelime BilgisiKelime bankanızı oluşturun
Kelime OyunuOynarken öğrenin
Aynı Kanal
B21
THE GREAT LOCK IN | how to transform your life & become unrecognizable before 2026 ends ✨
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
How to Enter Your Confidence Era ✨ Stop Caring What They Think & Know Your Worth
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B1living alone in NYC: perfect summer day, rooftop vibes, reorganizing my apartment, & city night out!
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B220
How to Lock In for the Rest of 2026 & Actually Change Your Life
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
How to Get Your Spark Back After a Slump and Become the Best Version of Yourself ✨
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
11 healthy habits you NEED to EXIT YOUR LAZY ERA 🌱: how to get your life together & be productive!
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B27
How to Enter Your Independent Girl Era ✨ Become the Girl Who Needs Nobody
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
How to Detach, Stop Overthinking, and Level Up Your Life
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B11
11 HIGH MAINTENANCE habits to be LOW MAINTENANCE 🌱 | how to wake up hot and glow up effortlessly
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B11
get back into routine with me 🌱 6am morning routine, work day in my life, and workout with me!
Travel EnglishTeensDaily Conversation
B22
11 healthy habits you NEED in your morning routine⛅️: how to change your life & be productive!
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B28
How to Enter Your Unbothered Era: Stop Over-Explaining and Let Them Lose You
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B25
Why Feeling Lonely Means Your Life Is About to Level Up
University Students
B21
your phone is ruining your life - here’s how to take it back.
Daily Conversation
B1how to ACTUALLY live your best life in 2026 ✨ | exit your bored, lazy girl era for good
TeensDaily Conversation
B1how to exit your LAZY GIRL ERA: how to be productive & motivated, disciplined, & radiate confidence
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B1I quit scrolling for 7 days and it CHANGED my life ✨ a no scroll vlog
TeensDaily Conversation
FOR YOU
Video Öner
B14
81 cümleler
Fix Yourself in 3 Days (No Excuses) 🔥
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B11
651 cümleler
How To Live For Yourself | Stop Pleasing Everyone And Choose Your Peace | Speak English Fluently ✅️
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B11
30 cümleler
Learn British Accent and English Speaking Motivation on my Podcast #britishaccent
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C12
458 cümleler
Why Walking Away Breaks Their Ego | Stoicism
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B17
40 cümleler
things I no longer believe in.
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B27
397 cümleler
How to Emotionally Detach, Get Focused, and Level Up Your Life
American AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B24
246 cümleler
A regulated nervous system is the real flex.
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B11
135 cümleler
becoming the person you want to be 🤍 (my origin story)
American AccentBusiness EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B12
29 cümleler
Are You Becoming the Person Your Dream Requires?
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
202 cümleler
you're not too late | most people quit, consistency is a superpower
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B1 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “How to Enter Your Level Up Era: Stop Chasing, Go Ghost, and Focus on You ✨” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 565 cümle ve 7484 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 33:53 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 221 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %87’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| heal fiil | /ˈhiːl/ | iyileştirmek |
| cove isim | /koʊv/ | kovuk |
| villain isim | /ˈvɪl.ən/ | cani, kötü adam |
| abandon fiil | /əˈbæn.dən/ | bırakmak |
| pour fiil | /poɹ/ | dökmek |
| drain isim | /dɹiːn/ | gider, yağmur gideri |
| grieve fiil | /ɡɹiːv/ | üzmek |
| bikini isim | /bɪˈki.ni/ | bikini |
| inspire fiil | /ɪnˈspaɪə(ɹ)/ | esinlemek, ilham vermek |
| convince fiil | /kənˈvɪns/ | ikna etmek |
| judgment isim | /ˈd͡ʒʌd͡ʒ.mənt/ | yargı, hüküm |
| crave fiil | /kɹeɪv/ | can atmak, çok istemek |
| misunderstand fiil | /mɪs.ʌn.də(ɹ)ˈstænd/ | yanlış anlamak |
| motivational sıfat | güdüsel | |
| overlook fiil | /ˈoʊ.vɚˌlʊk/ | gözden kaçırmak |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| look up fiil | /ˌlʊk ˈʌp/ | yukarı bakmak |
| grow up fiil | büyümek, yetişmek |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- You wanna know what the biggest flex is?
- It's letting people miss out on you.
- Why are you friends with me?
- Hey, can I help with the toll?
- At least can I help you with finding parking?
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| “Used to” used to + fiil — artık geçerli olmayan eski bir alışkanlık ya da durum | used to be · used to hurt |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | you've actually leveled · has had · I've ever been |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | be left · be chosen · are meant |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | someone who has · people who were · people who already |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı I'm, don't, they're gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 173 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: theirs /ðɛɚz/, aesthetic /ɛsˈθɛ.tɪk/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, closure /ˈkloʊ.ʒɚ/, reflection /ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, abandonment /əˈbæn.d(ə)n.m(ə)nt/, misunderstand /mɪs.ʌn.də(ɹ)ˈstænd/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, manipulate /məˈnɪp.jʊ.leɪt/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; heal, cove, villain gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.