Shadowing Practice: Stop Giving Second Chances to People Who Haven't Changed - Learn English Speaking with Video
Bir pratik modu seçin
Her mod tam ekran bir pratik odası açar.
120 cümleler
Cümleler çok kısa veya çok uzun ise, ayarlamak için Düzenle'ye tıklayın.
1
I'm about to say something that nobody wants to hear a relationship or couples therapist say.
2
I understand that.
3
I know that I am not supposed to say what I'm about to say out loud, but it must be said.
4
Everybody does not deserve a second chance.
5
Say it with me.
6
Everybody does not deserve a second chance.
7
That is my opinion and I am standing on it.
8
I'm Dr. Baldwin.
9
I'm a licensed therapist and I've been a relationship therapist for a long time.
10
I know we've been told to be the bigger person.
11
We have been told that forgiveness is for you, not for them.
12
And that is true.
13
Forgiveness is absolutely for you.
14
But second chances, that's a different conversation.
15
And we're having it today because it needs to be said.
16
A second chance has nothing to do with how much work you've done on yourself.
17
Giving someone a second chance does not make you more evolved or enlightened.
18
It doesn't even make you more emotionally mature.
19
It just means that you have made a decision.
20
Making a decision is very important.
21
It needs to be an informed decision.
22
If you don't know what an informed decision means, it means your decision is rooted in information.
23
An informed decision means you are choosing something based on clear understanding of the facts, risks, benefits, and possible outcomes.
24
You are not guessing.
25
You have taken the time to gather the right information and considered all your options.
26
You understand how the choice could impact you.
27
It means that your decision is intentional.
28
grounded, made with awareness, not impulses.
29
With that said, the only thing, and I mean the only thing, that earns someone a second chance is a perspective shift.
30
Not an apology, not time, not them saying they've changed, a full perspective shift.
31
The way that they see you is different.
32
The way that they treat you has changed.
33
The way that they talk to you, talk about you, show up for you, it looks different than it did before.
34
And not only can you see it, you can feel it too.
35
You won't have to overanalyze.
36
You won't have to convince yourself of anything.
37
When someone's perspective of you has genuinely shifted, you will feel it.
38
It will be in the room with you you will feel the shift in your body.
39
But when it hasn't, when they're saying everything right, but doing everything the same, that will feel confusing.
40
That person has earned access to you again without doing the work to deserve it.
41
Access and second chances are two completely different things.
42
And giving someone access to you without a perspective shift is permission.
43
It is permission to play in your face again for the second time.
44
Giving a person a second chance who has not had the shift in how they see you
45
and treat you is a nail in a coffin.
46
That is permission to play.
47
Again, now let's say you decide to give someone a second chance.
48
Let's say the shift is real.
49
You can see it.
50
You can feel it.
51
You have made the decision.
52
You cannot hold them in contempt for something you have forgiven.
53
That is rule number one in couples therapy.
54
The only rule that matters once you open that door because contempt is a thing that poisons everything.
55
You can ask John and Julie Gottman.
56
If you don't know who they are, look them up.
57
They say contempt is one of the strongest predictors of relationship breakdown.
58
Contempt is the eye roll that says, I actually never forgave you.
59
Or the way that you bring up what they did every time there is a conflict, even when it has nothing to do with whatever you're talking about.
60
Contempt is you letting them back in while quietly deciding they'll never be able to do anything right again.
61
And that's unfair to them and to you.
62
If you decide to give someone another shot, you give them a real one.
63
You stop treating them like they're guilty until proven innocent.
64
Now, that does not mean you stop paying attention.
65
That does not mean you start ignoring red flags.
66
That means that you let them old ones go.
67
Because saying you forgive and actually releasing contempt are not the same thing.
68
A lot of couples say that they have moved on, but you can still see it in the tone.
69
The body language, the sarcasm, and how they interpret each other, that's pretty obvious.
70
It tells you that the injury is still active.
71
Contempt keeps the wound open.
72
You let that person back in, but you stayed in the place that they hurt you, which means the relationship can't actually go anywhere.
73
You're both stuck.
74
This is hard work.
75
Just know, if contempt is present, forgiveness is incomplete.
76
And if forgiveness is real, Contempt has nowhere to live.
77
Please remember this.
78
After everything that is said here, a second chance is earned.
79
It is earned by someone who holds you in the highest regard consistently without you having to ask for it.
80
If the regard isn't there, the second chance is not warranted.
81
In my opinion, if you decide to give it, you give it fully or don't give it at all.
82
Because half in holding on to contempt is one foot in and one foot out the door.
83
That's a slower version of the same hurt.
84
And you deserve better than that.
85
You deserve people who see you clearly and choose you anyway.
86
The second chances you give should be moving towards that.
87
So let me give you an example.
88
You have a friend who is chronically late to your events.
89
And this puts you in a position to not mess with them.
90
Okay?
91
So you end the friendship.
92
After a few years, you're thinking, hmm, I miss them.
93
I want to bring them back into my life.
94
And so you agree to move forward in a different path.
95
Okay, so now you have events and your friend is showing up on time.
96
And when they get there, you are reminding them of what it was like back then.
97
You're here saying, nice of you to show up on time.
98
And now the relationship is stuck in a pattern in the past.
99
You keep repeating the pattern even though they've changed.
100
This is keeping you both stuck and this is not a second chance.
101
This is punishment.
102
If you really wanted this to be a second chance, you would validate the effort to show up for you on time.
103
And then you start a new pattern of interactions.
104
Now you got the friend that you wanted all along, somebody to show up for you on time to your events.
105
And that is how we keep growing.
106
That is how we strengthen our relationships.
107
when we decide to give a second chance.
108
Now, let's be clear.
109
If your friend starts showing up late again, you should evaluate the friendship again.
110
You should evaluate to see if this is working for you and for them.
111
And if it's not, you're not obligated to give anybody a second chance.
112
So at the end of the day, this episode is not about whether or not you should give somebody a second chance.
113
It's about what happens when you decide that you want to give a second chance and if that second chance is warranted.
114
So if you're given a second chance, remember, you have to forgive so there is no contempt.
115
And that person has to show that they have changed.
116
Otherwise, you're trapped in a pattern.
117
And that's what we're trying to avoid.
118
So let me know in the comments, who are you giving a second chance and who can hit the door on the way out?
119
Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.
120
Don't let it hit you where the good Lord split you. That is, that's funny.
Uygulamayı İndir
Akıcı konuşmak için ihtiyacınız olan her şey
AI TelaffuzHer cümleyi puanla
IPA AlıştırmasıHer sesi ustalaştır
Kelime BilgisiKelime bankanızı oluşturun
Kelime OyunuOynarken öğrenin
FOR YOU
Video Öner
B216 cümleler
Stop inviting them back to ypur life #discipline #relationships #movingon #selfimprovement
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
164 cümleler
Throw Away These 4 Things For A Peaceful And Fulfilled Life | Over 60 | Sandra Hart
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
13 cümleler
Forgiveness isn't going to set you free
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
326 cümleler
How to Become the Best Version of Yourself This Year (Without Burning Out)
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B259 cümleler
Mistakes You’ll Make While Falling in Love
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B27
7 cümleler
September 23, 2026
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2216 cümleler
If You See This, Someone Is About to See You Again ...And Try to Come Back!
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2156 cümleler
Things nobody told me before I turned 27
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
24 cümleler
Hard conversations are NOT about you...
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
120 cümleler
Why Does the Brain Resist Changing an Opinion Even After New Evidence? | B2 English Shadowing
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
87 cümleler
6 Minutes To Get Ahead Of 99% Of The World
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C12
637 cümleler
Why We Choose the Partners We Choose
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “Stop Giving Second Chances to People Who Haven't Changed” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: chance, contempt, decision, shift, relationship. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 120 cümle ve 1332 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 7:14 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 184 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %89’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| contempt isim | /kənˈtɛmpt/ | küçümsemek |
| forgiveness isim | /fɚˈɡɪvnəs/ | af, bağışlama |
| therapist isim | /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/ | terapist |
| inform fiil | /ɪnˈfɔɹm/ | bilgi vermek, bildirmek |
| evaluate fiil | /ɪˈvaljʊeɪt/ | değerlendirmek |
| enlighten fiil | /ɪnˈlaɪtən/ | aydınlatmak |
| sarcasm isim | /ˈsɑːɹˌkæzəm/ | alaycılık, istihza |
| confuse fiil | /kənˈfjuːz/ | karıştırmak |
| intentional sıfat | /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/ | kasıtlı, istemli |
| impulse isim | /ˈɪmpʌls/ | dürtü |
| coffin isim | /ˈkɔfɪn/ | tabut |
| incomplete sıfat | /ɪn.kəmˈpliːt/ | eksik, natamam |
| strengthen fiil | /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/ | güçlendirmek, kuvvetlendirmek |
| apology isim | /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/ | itizar, özür |
| poison isim | /ˈpɔɪ.zən/ | zehir, ağı |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Anlam |
|---|---|
| show up fiil | ortaya çıkmak |
Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler
Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:
- It doesn't even make you more emotionally mature.
- You won't have to overanalyze.
- You won't have to convince yourself of anything.
- Let's say the shift is real.
- You keep repeating the pattern even though they've changed.
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | I've been · we've been told · have been told |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | must be said · we've been told · have been told |
| İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi | someone who holds · people who see · friend who is |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı you're, don't, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 32 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: intentional /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: intentional /ɪnˈtɛnʃənəl/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, apology /əˈpɑ.lə.d͡ʒi/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/
Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:
- Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: predictor /pɹɪˈdɪk.tɚ/, strengthen /ˈstɹɛŋ(k)θən/, breakdown /ˈbɹeɪkˌdaʊn/, quietly /ˈkwaɪ.ɪt.li/
- /æ/ — “e”den daha açık: validate /ˈvæl.ɪ.deɪt/, sarcasm /ˈsɑːɹˌkæzəm/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; contempt, forgiveness, therapist gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.