Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: Stop Giving Second Chances to People Who Haven't Changed
Chọn chế độ luyện tập
Mỗi chế độ mở một phòng luyện tập toàn màn hình.
120 câu
Nếu các câu quá ngắn hoặc quá dài, hãy bấm Edit để chỉnh sửa.
1
I'm about to say something that nobody wants to hear a relationship or couples therapist say.
2
I understand that.
3
I know that I am not supposed to say what I'm about to say out loud, but it must be said.
4
Everybody does not deserve a second chance.
5
Say it with me.
6
Everybody does not deserve a second chance.
7
That is my opinion and I am standing on it.
8
I'm Dr. Baldwin.
9
I'm a licensed therapist and I've been a relationship therapist for a long time.
10
I know we've been told to be the bigger person.
11
We have been told that forgiveness is for you, not for them.
12
And that is true.
13
Forgiveness is absolutely for you.
14
But second chances, that's a different conversation.
15
And we're having it today because it needs to be said.
16
A second chance has nothing to do with how much work you've done on yourself.
17
Giving someone a second chance does not make you more evolved or enlightened.
18
It doesn't even make you more emotionally mature.
19
It just means that you have made a decision.
20
Making a decision is very important.
21
It needs to be an informed decision.
22
If you don't know what an informed decision means, it means your decision is rooted in information.
23
An informed decision means you are choosing something based on clear understanding of the facts, risks, benefits, and possible outcomes.
24
You are not guessing.
25
You have taken the time to gather the right information and considered all your options.
26
You understand how the choice could impact you.
27
It means that your decision is intentional.
28
grounded, made with awareness, not impulses.
29
With that said, the only thing, and I mean the only thing, that earns someone a second chance is a perspective shift.
30
Not an apology, not time, not them saying they've changed, a full perspective shift.
31
The way that they see you is different.
32
The way that they treat you has changed.
33
The way that they talk to you, talk about you, show up for you, it looks different than it did before.
34
And not only can you see it, you can feel it too.
35
You won't have to overanalyze.
36
You won't have to convince yourself of anything.
37
When someone's perspective of you has genuinely shifted, you will feel it.
38
It will be in the room with you you will feel the shift in your body.
39
But when it hasn't, when they're saying everything right, but doing everything the same, that will feel confusing.
40
That person has earned access to you again without doing the work to deserve it.
41
Access and second chances are two completely different things.
42
And giving someone access to you without a perspective shift is permission.
43
It is permission to play in your face again for the second time.
44
Giving a person a second chance who has not had the shift in how they see you
45
and treat you is a nail in a coffin.
46
That is permission to play.
47
Again, now let's say you decide to give someone a second chance.
48
Let's say the shift is real.
49
You can see it.
50
You can feel it.
51
You have made the decision.
52
You cannot hold them in contempt for something you have forgiven.
53
That is rule number one in couples therapy.
54
The only rule that matters once you open that door because contempt is a thing that poisons everything.
55
You can ask John and Julie Gottman.
56
If you don't know who they are, look them up.
57
They say contempt is one of the strongest predictors of relationship breakdown.
58
Contempt is the eye roll that says, I actually never forgave you.
59
Or the way that you bring up what they did every time there is a conflict, even when it has nothing to do with whatever you're talking about.
60
Contempt is you letting them back in while quietly deciding they'll never be able to do anything right again.
61
And that's unfair to them and to you.
62
If you decide to give someone another shot, you give them a real one.
63
You stop treating them like they're guilty until proven innocent.
64
Now, that does not mean you stop paying attention.
65
That does not mean you start ignoring red flags.
66
That means that you let them old ones go.
67
Because saying you forgive and actually releasing contempt are not the same thing.
68
A lot of couples say that they have moved on, but you can still see it in the tone.
69
The body language, the sarcasm, and how they interpret each other, that's pretty obvious.
70
It tells you that the injury is still active.
71
Contempt keeps the wound open.
72
You let that person back in, but you stayed in the place that they hurt you, which means the relationship can't actually go anywhere.
73
You're both stuck.
74
This is hard work.
75
Just know, if contempt is present, forgiveness is incomplete.
76
And if forgiveness is real, Contempt has nowhere to live.
77
Please remember this.
78
After everything that is said here, a second chance is earned.
79
It is earned by someone who holds you in the highest regard consistently without you having to ask for it.
80
If the regard isn't there, the second chance is not warranted.
81
In my opinion, if you decide to give it, you give it fully or don't give it at all.
82
Because half in holding on to contempt is one foot in and one foot out the door.
83
That's a slower version of the same hurt.
84
And you deserve better than that.
85
You deserve people who see you clearly and choose you anyway.
86
The second chances you give should be moving towards that.
87
So let me give you an example.
88
You have a friend who is chronically late to your events.
89
And this puts you in a position to not mess with them.
90
Okay?
91
So you end the friendship.
92
After a few years, you're thinking, hmm, I miss them.
93
I want to bring them back into my life.
94
And so you agree to move forward in a different path.
95
Okay, so now you have events and your friend is showing up on time.
96
And when they get there, you are reminding them of what it was like back then.
97
You're here saying, nice of you to show up on time.
98
And now the relationship is stuck in a pattern in the past.
99
You keep repeating the pattern even though they've changed.
100
This is keeping you both stuck and this is not a second chance.
101
This is punishment.
102
If you really wanted this to be a second chance, you would validate the effort to show up for you on time.
103
And then you start a new pattern of interactions.
104
Now you got the friend that you wanted all along, somebody to show up for you on time to your events.
105
And that is how we keep growing.
106
That is how we strengthen our relationships.
107
when we decide to give a second chance.
108
Now, let's be clear.
109
If your friend starts showing up late again, you should evaluate the friendship again.
110
You should evaluate to see if this is working for you and for them.
111
And if it's not, you're not obligated to give anybody a second chance.
112
So at the end of the day, this episode is not about whether or not you should give somebody a second chance.
113
It's about what happens when you decide that you want to give a second chance and if that second chance is warranted.
114
So if you're given a second chance, remember, you have to forgive so there is no contempt.
115
And that person has to show that they have changed.
116
Otherwise, you're trapped in a pattern.
117
And that's what we're trying to avoid.
118
So let me know in the comments, who are you giving a second chance and who can hit the door on the way out?
119
Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.
120
Don't let it hit you where the good Lord split you. That is, that's funny.
Tải Ứng Dụng
Mọi thứ bạn cần để nói trôi chảy
Chấm điểm AIChấm từng câu nói
Luyện IPAThành thạo mọi âm
Từ vựngMở rộng vốn từ
Game Từ vựngHọc qua chơi
FOR YOU
Video gợi ý
B216 câu
Stop inviting them back to ypur life #discipline #relationships #movingon #selfimprovement
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
35 câu
My Advice to People in Their 40s and 50s
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
A275
18 câu
The Second Chance “Start Today, Do Confidently Tomorrow!” #affirmations #boostyourconfidence
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
49 câu
Oprah_ Why You Must Trust Your Intuition and Change Your Mind #intuition #selftrust #oprah #wisdom
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
13 câu
Forgiveness isn't going to set you free
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B27
7 câu
September 23, 2026
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2216 câu
If You See This, Someone Is About to See You Again ...And Try to Come Back!
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
327 câu
How to start over - resetting your life and routine from scratch
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
245 câu
Something Happens When Good People Reach Their Limit
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
579 câu
YOU VS YOU - Motivational Speech
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
24 câu
Hard conversations are NOT about you...
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
87 câu
6 Minutes To Get Ahead Of 99% Of The World
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
Giới Thiệu Về Bài Học Này
Trong video này, người xem sẽ được khám phá một quan điểm thú vị về việc cho người khác cơ hội thứ hai trong các mối quan hệ. Bạn sẽ học cách xác định khi nào nên cho người khác cơ hội, và điều gì cần thiết để một người xứng đáng với cơ hội đó. Ngoài ra, bài học cũng sẽ giúp bạn hiểu rõ hơn về tầm quan trọng của việc quan sát sự thay đổi thật sự trong cách mà người khác đối xử với bạn.
Từ Vựng & Cụm Từ Quan Trọng
- Cơ hội thứ hai - Second chance
- Thay đổi quan điểm - Perspective shift
- Quyết định có thông tin - Informed decision
- Thể hiện cảm xúc - Show up for you
- Thay đổi cách đối xử - Treat you differently
- Phê phán - Overanalyze
- Cho phép - Permission
Mẹo Luyện Tập
Khi bạn xem video và thực hành shadowing, hãy chú ý đến tốc độ và ngữ điệu của người nói. Thời gian đầu, bạn có thể bật video với tốc độ chậm hơn để dễ dàng nắm bắt cách phát âm và nhấn âm. Hãy cố gắng shadow speak theo từng câu, lặp lại ngay sau khi họ nói, để cải thiện luyện nghe nói qua video. Đừng ngần ngại ghi âm lại giọng nói của bạn và so sánh với giọng của người nói trong video. Điều này sẽ giúp bạn nhận ra những điểm cần cải thiện để có phát âm tiếng anh chuẩn. Nếu cảm thấy khó khăn, hãy chia nhỏ từng phần và làm từng câu một, sau đó ghép lại với nhau. Nhớ rằng, việc shadowing tiếng anh không chỉ giúp bạn cải thiện phát âm mà còn giúp bạn hiểu rõ hơn về cách giao tiếp tự nhiên trong tiếng Anh.
Ngữ pháp trong video
Những cấu trúc người nói dùng nhiều nhất, kèm đúng cụm từ trong video:
| Cấu trúc | Trong video |
|---|---|
| Thì hiện tại hoàn thành have/has + quá khứ phân từ — việc đã xảy ra nhưng còn liên quan đến hiện tại | I've been · we've been told · have been told |
| Câu bị động be + quá khứ phân từ — nhấn vào việc xảy ra, không phải người làm | must be said · we've been told · have been told |
| Mệnh đề quan hệ who / which + mệnh đề — thêm thông tin về người hoặc vật | someone who holds · people who see · friend who is |
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.