跟读练习: 10 social rules every smart woman should know - 通过视频学习英语口语
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135 句
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There are certain social rules and nobody teaches you because technically they're not rules.
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Like nobody's gonna pull you aside until you're breaking them, but people will make their thoughts about you
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or write you off before you've even had the chance to get to know them.
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And I know some of you are gonna be like, well, I don't want to get to know them either then.
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But girlfriend, this is not really how the world works.
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And trust me, a lot of these are things I wish someone had told me
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so I didn't have to look like an idiot.
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And I hate the excuse, it wasn't my intention.
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As if that dismisses the poor lack of thought.
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So we're going to change that.
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So I wrote down 10 of my social rules that I think every smart woman should know.
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Some of these are going to sound so simple, but if you start paying attention, you'll realize how many people break them.
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Hi muses.
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Welcome back to the channel where the women who want everything learn to have their cake and eat it too.
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I'm your host Nadine.
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And today we are getting into the 10 unwritten social rules every smart woman should know.
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Also, if you like conversations like this, make sure you're in my Inner Circle newsletter.
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It's free.
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I'll link it in the description box below.
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And as always, we don't gatekeep, so let's step into it.
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Rule number one, never make someone regret telling you something.
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If someone tells you something vulnerable, embarrassing, private, or even just personal, don't make them regret giving you access to that information.
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Don't bring it up in front of other people.
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Don't turn it into a joke three weeks later.
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Don't tell your boyfriend because he doesn't count.
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He counts.
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And most importantly, don't ever use it against them, even when you're angry, even when you are no longer friends.
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And never put her in a position to try to out her either.
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When someone gives you sensitive information, they're also giving you a bit of responsibility for how to handle it.
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People remember who made them feel safe.
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Rule number two, 2.
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Know when to move on from a conversation topic.
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I think one of the most underrated signs of social intelligence is knowing when to let something go.
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I went to this networking meetup where this guy kept going back to a topic
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because he was so worked up about it, but everyone else had moved on from it hours ago.
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And it just got to a point where everyone was kind of annoyed and irritated.
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It's kind of like when you have
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that one uncle who won't shut up about politics at the family dinner and no one wants to talk to him anymore.
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And the vibes are just kind of stale and awkward, but he doesn't get the memo.
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Don't be that person.
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Rule number three, protect people's dignity in public.
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Your friend who says something wrong, you don't always need a corrector in front of everyone.
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Your significant other is telling the story and gets a detail wrong.
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Oh my God, that's not how it happened.
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This is how it happened.
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And you hijack the conversation girl what are you doing someone sneezes
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and has snot running down their face sometimes the kindest thing you can do is to look away
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and let them handle it there are people who will embarrass other people for a laugh
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or expose something because it makes the story better
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or publicly correct people because they need everyone to know
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that they are right don't trade someone else's sensitivity for 10
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seconds of social currency protect people in public handle problems in private.
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Rule number four, never compete with someone else's good news.
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Your friend says I got promoted and you go, oh my God, congratulations.
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I'm actually up for a promotion too.
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Let her have her moment.
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Sometimes being a good friend means being able to let someone else be the main character
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when it's time for them to shine.
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Celebrate her, ask questions, be excited.
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You don't lose anything by letting another woman have her moment.
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Rule number five, no VIP access with people with GA tickets.
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I honestly didn't really know what to call this one, but this is actually something I first learned with dating before I started applying it to all areas of my life.
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And I love it.
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There's this idea now that vulnerability automatically creates intimacy and it can, but vulnerability and intimacy are not the same thing.
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You can tell someone your entire childhood trauma within 45 minutes of meeting them and still not actually know each other.
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Real intimacy requires time, consistency, and reciprocal trust.
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So the girl you've hung out with twice doesn't need to know the entire lore behind your last friendship breakup.
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And someone you've been dating for three weeks doesn't need to know every insecurity or every shitty relationship you've been in.
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People have to earn access to you over time.
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Chemistry and familiarity is not trust.
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Oversharing is not intimacy.
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Rule number six, invitations are information.
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This one might hurt some feelings, but pay attention to who invites you, who initiates with you, who includes you, and who reciprocates.
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If you've asked someone to hang out three times and she said no every time without ever suggesting another date, that's a data point.
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If you are always organizing the dinners, checking in, remembering birthdays, and keeping the entire your friendship alive.
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that's a data point.
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If someone is always having parties and get togethers that you only find out about after it happens, that's a data point.
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But not all of these require confrontation.
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Sometimes you just need to see clearly where you stand with them and then move on.
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Rule number seven, never punish someone for saying no. If your friend says she can't come to dinner, just say, no worries girl next time.
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Not wow okay I guess you're too busy for us now even
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if you are joking okay because it's not a funny joke.
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If someone doesn't want to drink stop asking them why.
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If someone doesn't want to talk about something move on
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because every time you punish someone for saying no you're telling them
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that it's not okay for them to be real with you and that's exhausting.
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Nothing kills a friendship faster.
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So give people room to say no and you'll actually create more honest relationships.
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Rule number eight, remember the little things.
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This is probably the easiest social skill on this entire list.
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Remember what people tell you.
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If your friend tells you that her mom is having surgery next Tuesday, text her on Tuesday.
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If your significant other has a huge presentation coming up, ask them how it went.
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Friend is back from vacation, be excited and be ready to ask about their trip.
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This sounds so basic, but think about how good it feels when someone remembers something that you mentioned weeks ago.
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Because what's actually being communicated is I care about you.
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I'm paying attention and I'm interested in being part of your life.
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And if you have a terrible memory, just put it in your calendar.
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Rule number nine, don't make people guess where they stand with you.
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This is something I've come to appreciate more and more as I got older.
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Give people compliments and be real with how you feel.
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Tell people you appreciate them tell people if they did an amazing job
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if you had a great time meeting someone tell them you had
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so much fun with them something
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that really changed my viewpoint is this quote i read a
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while ago and it's give people their flowers
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while they are still around to receive them but also
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if you've grown apart from a friend learn to communicate
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so you don't leave them hanging and confused too
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and lastly rule number 10 your reputation enters the room before you do this is the rule
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that defines where you sit in your social circles.
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Your reputation is more than just what people think of you or your accomplishments.
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It's your character and values.
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And I think people forget that.
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Do you show up?
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Can you keep your word?
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Do you celebrate other women?
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Are you gracious when there's nothing to gain?
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Do you talk poorly about every other friend?
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Do you make people feel good about themselves?
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Because people talk, not necessarily in some bad gossipy way, but think about how often we say things like, oh my God, I love her.
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You guys would totally get along.
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She's so sweet.
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I think you should invite her.
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That is your reputation working for you.
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And the opposite happens too.
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So if you think you need to do some damage control, instead of thinking about how to get more people to like you, think about what it's like being your friend,
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what it's like getting to know you or work with you.
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What do people experience when they interact with you?
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Character determines whether people want you to stick around and that's all 10.
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You just have to understand that the ways you treat people really do add up
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and eventually how people feel in your presence becomes part of your reputation in your absence.
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That's all the cake I have for you today.
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Thank you so much for watching until the end.
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I appreciate it so much and if you enjoyed our little chat today, please like, hype, and leave a comment to share your thoughts and I'll see you in the next episode.
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本课的词汇与口语要点
这节口语课以视频“10 social rules every smart woman should know”为素材。 这段视频共有 135 个句子、1610 个单词可供跟读。 讲话部分时长为 8:40。 说话人语速较快，每分钟约 186 个词，会出现较多连读和弱读。 89% 的单词属于英语最常用的 3,000 词，词汇容易理解。
视频中的重点词汇
视频中 15 个值得学习的单词，附发音和释义：
| 单词 | 发音 | 释义 |
|---|---|---|
| reputation 名词 | /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/ | 名譽 /名誉, 聲譽 /声誉 |
| intimacy 名词 | /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/ | 親密 /亲密, 親近 /亲近 |
| friendship 名词 | /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ | 友誼 /友谊, 友情 |
| topic 名词 | /ˈtɑpɪk/ | 主題 /主题, 話題 /话题 |
| regret 动词 | /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/ | 後悔 /后悔, 遺憾 /遗憾 |
| invite 动词 | /ɪnˈvaɪt/ | 邀請 /邀请, 請 /请 |
| punish 动词 | /ˈpʌnɪʃ/ | 懲罰 /惩罚, 處罰 /处罚 |
| vulnerability 名词 | /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/ | 脆弱性 |
| earn 动词 | /ɝn/ | 掙 /挣, 賺 /赚 |
| necessarily 副词 | /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/ | 必然地, 必定地 |
| confused 形容词 | /kənˈfjuːzd/ | 困惑 |
| sensitive 形容词 | /ˈsɛn.sɪt.ɪv/ | 敏感 |
| uncle 名词 | /ˈʌŋ.kl̩/ | 伯父, 伯伯 |
| flower 名词 | /ˈfloʊɚ/ | хуа, хуар |
| skill 名词 | /skɪl/ | 技巧, 技能 |
视频中出现的短语动词
| 单词 | 释义 |
|---|---|
| come up 动词 | 上來 /上来 |
| get along 动词 | 相處 /相处 |
| show up 动词 | 露面 |
值得反复跟读的句子
视频中简短而完整的句子，可以直接用在日常对话里：
- Can you keep your word?
- Do you celebrate other women?
- Are you gracious when there's nothing to gain?
- Do you talk poorly about every other friend?
- Do you make people feel good about themselves?
视频中的语法
说话人最常用的结构，并附上视频中的原话：
| 结构 | 视频中的用法 |
|---|---|
| 现在完成时 have/has + 过去分词 — 过去发生但与现在仍有关联的事 | you've even had · you've hung · you've been |
| 定语从句 who / which + 从句 — 补充说明人或事物 | women who want · friend who says · people who will |
需要注意的发音
说话人用了 49 次缩略和弱读形式，例如 don't, doesn't, you've。请按听到的简短形式来说。
- “sh” 和 “zh” 音: reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, punish /ˈpʌnɪʃ/, promotion /pɹəˈmoʊʃn̩/, congratulations /kənˌɡɹæt͡ʃəˈleɪʃ(ə)nz/
- 长单词——注意重音位置: reputation /ˌɹɛpjʊˈteɪʃən/, intimacy /ˈɪn.tɪ.mə.si/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, vulnerability /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/
中文母语者容易读错的音：
- /v/ — 不要读成 /w/，上齿轻触下唇: invite /ɪnˈvaɪt/, vulnerability /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/, sensitive /ˈsɛn.sɪt.ɪv/, vacation /veɪˈkeɪ.ʃən/, vulnerable /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/
- 词尾辅音 — 要读清楚，后面不要加元音: friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, topic /ˈtɑpɪk/, regret /ɹɪˈɡɹɛt/, invite /ɪnˈvaɪt/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/
- /r/ 和 /l/ 的区别: vulnerability /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, congratulations /kənˌɡɹæt͡ʃəˈleɪʃ(ə)nz/, vulnerable /ˈvʌln(ə)ɹəbl̩/, poorly /ˈpʊɹ.li/
如何用这段视频练习
- 先完整听一遍视频，不要开口，记下不认识的单词。
- 先用 0.75 倍速逐句跟读，熟练之后再回到正常速度。
- 录下自己的声音并与原声对比，特别注意 reputation, intimacy, friendship 这类单词。
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。