تدريب Shadowing: The uncomfortable question you should ask on every first date | Alain de Botton - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية عبر الفيديو
اختر وضع التدريب
كل وضع يفتح غرفة تدريب بملء الشاشة.
371 جمل
إذا كانت الجمل قصيرة أو طويلة جدًا، انقر على Edit لتعديلها.
1
Optimism is the enemy of love.
2
If we think that we will have a perfect love story, no, it's not gonna happen.
3
We need to accept that even a really good relationship has constant moments of crisis.
4
So pessimism is not an enemy of love.
5
Knowing that there is no such thing as the right person actually helps you to find a good enough person.
6
You know, compatibility is not a precondition of love.
7
Compatibility is the fruit of love.
8
My name is Alain de Botton.
9
I'm a philosopher, psychotherapist, and founder of the School of Life.
10
The playbook for a successful relationship.
11
First of all, the idea of a playbook sounds strange.
12
The idea of a playbook that you need to create to get in a relationship sounds really odd.
13
You think, I don't need a playbook.
14
I just need to head on in there, get a dating app, and off I go, and a nice new pair of clothes.
15
But isn't it interesting and wouldn't it be lovely to have a playbook
16
that would be trying to guide you to acquire the knowledge that you need for love?
17
So the idea that love is a skill rather than an emotion is a strange one,
18
but I think an absolutely essential one in the worldview that I'm positing.
19
You know, if somebody said, I'm going to climb
20
Mount Everest or K2, you would say, OK, how have you prepared for this?
21
And you'd be expecting them to show up with ropes, with training programs, with oxygen, with specially prepared packs of food.
22
You can get the metaphor.
23
We walk into the mountain of love without sufficient preparation and equipment.
24
And then we're surprised that we routinely tumble off the mountain and we blame the other person.
25
We say we didn't match the right person.
26
We haven't found our person.
27
We go back on the dating app and we go ever further to try and find the right person.
28
Don't get me wrong.
29
Dating apps have their role.
30
Sometimes we need to scan and see who's out there
31
and find a person who halfway meets us where we want to be.
32
But once you've found a more or less suitable person, that's when the work begins.
33
And the work is to turn a stranger into somebody that you can understand and who can understand you without bottling it,
34
without panicking, without throwing them in the bin, without saying we can't work this out if after five weeks
35
and a pleasant mini break in Copenhagen we suddenly have a conflict.
36
No, the point is you need to stay where you are and try and figure it out.
37
But most people give up too soon, they say we can't possibly do this, and they run for the hills, go back on the dating app
38
and find the next person with whom
39
they will then try out an equally unfulfilling attempt to match their heart with a stranger's.
40
What we need to do is to start to create right people rather than search for them.
41
And what does that mean to create a right person?
42
It means to work on yourself psychologically and therapeutically so
43
that you understand your script from childhood and do not simply play it out onto innocent person after innocent person,
44
that you take responsibility for the problems that you are bringing into a relationship.
45
At the School of Life, which I founded, an institution that is dedicated to emotional growth and development,
46
we tell our people that when they're on a date with somebody, among the first questions is to ask people playfully, how are you crazy?
47
What does that mean, how are you crazy?
48
Why is everybody crazy?
49
They're not necessarily crazy.
50
Well, all of us have stuff that we need to be on top of.
51
And if your person at dinner says to you, yeah, I get the question.
52
Yeah, I've got my crazy and my crazy is this, my crazy is that, my father, my mother.
53
This is turning out to be a safe person.
54
If the person goes, how do you mean?
55
I can't possibly answer that question.
56
That's rude.
57
You think I'm not right or imperfect.
58
Run for the hills.
59
Drop it right there and then.
60
I'm exaggerating, but this is probably not a person you should be hanging out with
61
because none of us need or can have perfect partners.
62
But what we can have and must search for
63
and must try to become is people who know enough about
64
their patterns to be able to warn their prospective partners of what's going on and take averting action.
65
The beginning of therapeutic relationships is to know that two people,
66
when entering a couple, are not entering without a lot of history.
67
It is essential that couples learn as much as possible about
68
that history so that they are ready for the challenges and perplexities of love.
69
A therapeutic relationship requires that each partner get on top of their dynamics
70
that date back to childhood and are able to discuss them with relative grace, patience, and insight with their partner so that when problems arise,
71
and they will, they can adopt a therapeutic language.
72
It is therapeutic to say, for example, when there is a conflict.
73
I hear your point of view.
74
It may not be mine, but I hear that it's yours.
75
It is not therapeutic to say you're wrong, you're an idiot and you're just like your mother or indeed like your father.
76
This is not therapeutic.
77
I'm kidding, but I'm making a very serious point indeed.
78
We do not tend to talk to each other in therapeutically informed language.
79
We shout, we scream, we blame, we shape shift.
80
We don't take responsibility.
81
We do all sorts of things that doom us in relationships.
82
Then we stand back and we say we're surprised.
83
We are a society that is obsessed with finding the right person without pausing to think, how do I become the right person?
84
How do I work on myself?
85
Understanding that cannot be done simply, and this is paradoxical, by being on your own.
86
This is another unbelievable mystery.
87
You can't understand yourself just by being with yourself.
88
You need other people.
89
Why is that?
90
It's like, why do you need a mirror to see the back of your head? because we don't have eyes there.
91
We need someone to help us to see the things that are really hard for us to see.
92
And psychotherapy gives us a forum in which we can come, tell the therapist about what's going on in our lives, explain what happened last Monday,
93
explain what happened when we took that trip to New York or Buffalo, wherever it is, what happened, and then slowly pattern recognition sets in.
94
The therapist is able to go, it's funny in that last relationship you did this this new relationship you're doing
95
that and you mentioned that your parent did something
96
that sounds kind of similar so I wonder what's going on
97
and then slowly insight comes we start to put the pieces together
98
we think I'm up to something I'm doing something and
99
that way is liberation we can start to break the unconscious stories
100
that we're living psychotherapy works with this concept known as defenses or defense mechanisms.
101
In other words, these are tools that our minds adopt to try and shield themselves from accurate knowledge of their own workings.
102
This could sound really odd, like why don't we just embrace self -knowledge with open arms?
103
Why do we need to run away from it?
104
The answer is that knowledge of ourselves is frightening.
105
It's really awful to have to learn certain things.
106
It may make us very anxious.
107
It may make us so sorrowful.
108
It may panic us.
109
And so we push away unwelcome information.
110
I think that we still perhaps can't quite bear how complicated we are.
111
You know, we're very squeamish creatures.
112
We don't like to sit with ourselves.
113
We don't like to sit with our emotions.
114
Self -knowledge remains an enormously elusive goal.
115
You know, I think it is the most important goal of life.
116
To understand oneself is literally the meaning of life.
117
The ancient Greeks knew this, you know, know thyself was the most important command in ancient
118
Greek culture and philosophy.
119
Know thyself, most important thing you could do.
120
If you said nowadays, you know, in a conversation with friends or colleagues, you know, what's your goal?
121
Where are you trying to get to next year?
122
What are you trying to do?
123
Say, know thyself.
124
People would go, that's a strange person there.
125
We don't know about this person, right?
126
It's not an acceptable goal.
127
We know that it's good to make money.
128
We know that it's good to travel to foreign countries to learn how to fry garlic and to learn salsa.
129
It's not particularly esteemed to know yourself.
130
And that's why we wander around strangers to ourselves and therefore enormously confusing, and let's put it frankly, dangerous to other people.
131
Because a person who doesn't understand themselves.
132
You know, if confronted with their behavior, will go, it wasn't me, I didn't do it, or I can't think, or, you know, ask me tomorrow.
133
They can't account for themselves.
134
They don't know why they do the stuff they do.
135
They will simply, in a relationship, for example, bail out of a relationship going, you know, it's getting too intense. And why?
136
They don't know.
137
They don't understand what they themselves are doing.
138
Even though, you know, they may have spent five years learning Spanish.
139
They may have taken an advanced degree in Japanese.
140
They may be very active in all sorts of ways.
141
They may have learned pottery.
142
They may be holding down a great job in marketing, something.
143
But the point is they will not have learned the really true constituents of emotional functioning
144
because they've been able to get away with it.
145
And part of the playbook of becoming a better lover is to dial down your defense mechanisms, to observe them.
146
Typical defense mechanism is to push responsibility onto other people to say
147
it's your fault for example someone tries to tell you something about yourself someone says i think
148
that you you know you're a little bit this when
149
that happens you know and rather than going thank you let me think about
150
that you go why are you being rude uh
151
or this is not a good time for me
152
or i can't absorb this now in other words you push away information
153
that might have helped you not because it's false but because it's difficult to absorb and that's often
154
what happens to us all of us all of us are
155
involved in defense mechanisms all of us can't quite bear the full truth about ourselves
156
it helps us to go to psychotherapy i know
157
that you know ai is you know delivers some aspects of therapy
158
it can be good at points the good thing about a real human being is
159
that they are not guided just by you they've got their own independent judgment
160
and also you're in a relationship with them and
161
that relationship is part of what heals you
162
because the relationship with the therapist is a harbinger of the relationship that you can then take out into the world,
163
a relationship of trust and mutual understanding.
164
This is something that AI is not going to be able to replace anytime soon.
165
So we need to understand ourselves.
166
We need to understand the past.
167
And then we need a certain spirit.
168
One of the things that we need in that playbook of love is a good sense of humor.
169
That could sound superfluous, like what on earth, you know, why do we need a sense of humor?
170
Well, a sense of humor is a modesty about our capacity to understand anything.
171
And if we can signal to our partners that, you know, we're a little stupid, we don't get it, we don't have all the answers,
172
that is a wonderful emollient, it's a wonderful lubricant to love because it just dials down the temperature.
173
If your partner is able to say, ah, I may not have understood this, I may not be getting it, that's brilliant.
174
And if they can make a little joke too, that's great.
175
You know, if two people can learn to see each other as idiots, but lovable idiots.
176
That's a beautiful moment in love.
177
It could sound negative.
178
It's not, it's not.
179
It's the most generous thing you can do.
180
We are two blind people helping each other to find a way forward.
181
If that's the spirit in which we can enter love, that is a spirit of generosity, a spirit of mutual forgiveness.
182
Too often we get on our high horses.
183
This is the way it is.
184
I know the answer.
185
This is what I think.
186
That is not a friend of love.
187
So we need, if you like a modesty, a humorous modesty.
188
Let me give you another idea.
189
Another thing that we need in order to make love work is a certain degree of pessimism.
190
You know, optimism is the enemy of love.
191
If we think that we will have a perfect love story, a love story with no ruffles in it, with no kinks in it,
192
no, it's not going to happen.
193
We need to accept that even a really good relationship has constant moments of crisis.
194
And that's okay.
195
The problem is not crisis.
196
The problem is how do we repair crises?
197
Can we repair them with forgiveness, with understanding, and most of all, with curiosity?
198
Can we get curious about why we had a bus stop?
199
Can we be searching for why our attachment patterns are not compatible?
200
Can we get interested in why we're difficult to love?
201
And that way, will become easier to love.
202
So pessimism is not an enemy of love.
203
Knowing that there is no such thing as the right person actually helps you to find a good enough person.
204
You know, a few years ago, I read an essay that went viral.
205
I read it for the New York Times.
206
It was called, Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person.
207
Why did that essay go viral?
208
I think it went viral because people all feel, sorry, let me correct that not all people,
209
but many, many people feel that they have married the wrong person.
210
And they panic about this and they feel so ashamed.
211
So here's an essay in the New York Times that says, yeah, we're all going to marry the wrong person.
212
And you know what?
213
It's okay.
214
You don't need to marry the right person.
215
You need to marry a good enough person.
216
You know, compatibility is not a precondition of love.
217
Compatibility is the fruit of love if we get together with someone and we find that there are differences, right?
218
They have one kind of attachment style, we have another.
219
They like golf, we like tennis.
220
They like the curtains to be green, we like the curtains to be yellow, whatever it is.
221
Too often in modern romantic dating culture, the answer is get out, just get out.
222
Find someone else, find someone better.
223
And that's why all the technological tools are all about putting new people in front of you.
224
Of course, sometimes you need to find new people, But as much as finding new people,
225
what you need to do is to learn to live with the people who are in front of you, with the people that you found.
226
Many of us have already found a good enough partner, and yet we throw them in the bin
227
because we are taught by romantic culture that we can always find a perfect person with whom it will click immediately.
228
And this is such a destructive idea.
229
If you think, you know what, the work starts here, the work starts when you have a problem,
230
Then you roll up your sleeves and you think, OK, well, I know that I broadly think this person is a nice person.
231
Now we're going to work at making sure that it can work.
232
And so we're going to talk and we're going to take this problem apart.
233
We're going to become like engineers who've got a malfunctioning machine.
234
We're going to sort it out.
235
This sounds unromantic, doesn't it?
236
Imagine saying, in order to make my relationship work, every evening I've talked for an hour in really patient ways.
237
You think, oh my god, go to Vegas, find someone easier.
238
Well, good luck to you.
239
Maybe you'll find that person.
240
But for some of us, especially some of us who've come through difficult relationships, difficult relationships in our past,
241
we may need to go and do that kind of excavation.
242
Maybe that's fine.
243
I think that a good enough person is someone who will engage with the business of working towards compatibility,
244
that they won't assume that you are wrong just because there are problems.
245
They will know how to repair crises they will know how to be curious, they will know how to listen,
246
they will know how to be patient.
247
That is compatible with all sorts of problems, sexual problems, relational problems, administrative problems, doesn't matter.
248
You can work through them.
249
So the wrong person is someone who stonewalls, who always blames you, who blanks out, who says, it's not my responsibility,
250
or, you know, it was easier with my ex, and, you know, why are you so difficult,
251
etc these people are trouble because they are refusing the work of love
252
so it doesn't matter
253
if you have many many difficulties that's okay the problem is your attitude to the difficulties
254
and the solution is an attitude of indulgence of curiosity
255
and of calm consideration of the flaws
256
that unite us all we are all mad monkeys and
257
so long as we've been kind towards the mad monkey in
258
all of us we'll be okay one of the real problems and you know there's there's simply no solution,
259
but we need to accept that there's a real problem, is how long it takes to work out who we are as lovers,
260
as people interested in relationships, who we are.
261
It takes so long, and it takes especially long to try and change our patterns.
262
You know, if we are somebody who sabotages relationships every time that love comes along, how long is that going to take to unwind this?
263
Well, it takes insight, but then it takes, as it were, work, true work.
264
And sometimes people go to therapy for six sessions or 12 sessions and they go, I haven't changed.
265
Therapy doesn't work.
266
And let's come back to my earlier example about language.
267
Imagine that you decided middle age as an English speaker to pick up Korean
268
or Finnish and you went to six lessons and you tried to learn
269
Finnish and Korean.
270
And by the end of six lessons, you could barely ask for, you know, barely say your own name or say hello.
271
And then you blamed it on the whole process and you said, I'm not learning this language.
272
It's rubbish.
273
People would say you're being too impatient.
274
And I think that some of the same holds true for rewiring our emotional language.
275
We can't pick this up in six sessions of 50 minutes.
276
It takes a long time.
277
A pattern that was laid down over decades is going to take many, many years to figure it out.
278
It's, I mean, believe me, it's bad news.
279
I wish it weren't so.
280
Can we do anything in the meantime?
281
Yes, of course we can.
282
We can, you know, we can be learning and walking.
283
We don't have to pause and just sit by the roadside.
284
We can be starting on the path of relationships.
285
We can be starting from a relatively young age, but we need to be doing the work alongside,
286
and we need to be able to at least do the first thing, which is to say, I'm learning.
287
I'm a learner.
288
There's a real difference between someone who goes, I know it all, and someone who knows that they are still learning.
289
When Socrates, the ancient
290
Greek philosopher was asked why he was the wisest person in antiquity, he said, because I know what I don't know.
291
In other words, that the birth of true wisdom is associated with a knowledge of your ignorance.
292
I think that's the best way we can proceed also in relation to our love lives.
293
There are lots of questions that we could learn to ask ourselves
294
and our partners in order to try
295
and find a better relationship one of them is this
296
when i get close to you how does
297
that feel right to open up a window onto some of the complexities
298
that occur when somebody gets close
299
if i love you what part of you might worry right
300
that's a good question does any part of you worry another really useful question is how do I respond
301
when someone is trying to communicate something to me?
302
Do I stonewall or do I accept?
303
Am I able to pause and think the issue might be with me?
304
Or do I always have to go, I can't answer that.
305
It's the other person.
306
You're being unfair.
307
You're putting me under pressure.
308
What is your level of emotional dexterity?
309
So that's a good question to be asking yourself as well
310
also one of the really good questions in any relationship is to say how have i annoyed
311
you how have i frustrated you you know a lot of what happens between couples is there are things
312
that are bubbling away beneath the surface that people can't find the courage
313
to say and
314
because they can't say them the problem doesn't improve the problem
315
gets worse people can't have sex anymore a lot of the reason why people can't have sex
316
it's got nothing to do with sex is to do with the fact they feel disconnected and angry and misunderstood.
317
You can't have sex with someone who you feel misunderstood by or you feel furious with.
318
what helps desire is trust and the way to build up trust is to communicate
319
and particularly communicate ruptures of trust so
320
if you want to have good sex don't get a candle
321
don't go to a hotel start to ask each other have i annoyed you is there something i've done
322
that you'd like to tell me
323
and you say this patiently not in the middle of the night
324
when you're stressed or maybe you've drunk too much but
325
when you're calm when there's a sense of you know lightness and forgiveness.
326
Use the right moment to ask the right question.
327
We're living in a world where therapeutic language and insights have spread for the first time far outside the consulting room.
328
There is mass adoption at a superficial level of therapeutic language.
329
And the area where we find this most obviously is social media, and in particular, Instagram, which is enormous.
330
It's an enormous force in the world.
331
And it has brought up a generation, I'd say, to speak in pseudo or vaguely therapeutic terms.
332
I don't mean that as an insult.
333
Some of these insights have been fantastic.
334
People are now able to talk about, let's say, attachment theory.
335
The mention of an avoidant attachment theory
336
or an anxious attachment theory in many circles now doesn't create the puzzlement that it was generating 15 years ago.
337
15 years ago, this was not common knowledge.
338
That That was still in the university, in textbooks, and in the consulting room.
339
Now it's out in the world.
340
And the medium that has changed this, as I say, is social media.
341
What's the problem?
342
I'll tell you one of the problems.
343
One of the problems is whose fault it is.
344
The tone of a lot of social media posting blames the problem for the struggles in relationships fairly
345
and squarely on the partner, not on yourself.
346
There is an obsession with finding borderline people, narcissistic people, avoidance, anxious people out in the world.
347
And of course they exist, but the tone is the problem.
348
The tone says, get out.
349
These are red flags and everybody that you're meeting, the reason why you haven't made a relationship work is because these people are unbalanced psychologically.
350
My answer is this.
351
If you are looking to find a person with no problems at all, with no psychological disturbances, good luck to you.
352
If you're looking to find somebody with no red flags, good luck to you.
353
Everybody has red flags.
354
That's part of what it means to be human.
355
That's the story of Genesis.
356
The story of Genesis is Adam and Eve had some red flags.
357
That's what it is to be human being, is somebody with a red flag.
358
So the problem is not the red flag, it's how you deal with it.
359
And this is what I worry that therapeutic culture on social media doesn't train us to do.
360
It doesn't train us for patience.
361
It doesn't train us to think we might be the problem.
362
It doesn't ask us to think what we've brought to the situation.
363
It doesn't create an atmosphere of forgiveness.
364
The reason is very simple.
365
Outrage sells.
366
It's more fun.
367
It feels more spirited.
368
It's punchier to say, that ex of yours, they're the avoidant, they're crazy, they're narcissistic.
369
It sounds better and it leaves everybody happier.
370
But long term, it's not the solution.
371
want to support the channel join the big think members community where you get access to videos early ad free
تنزيل التطبيق
كل ما تحتاجه للتحدث بطلاقة
تقييم النطق بالذكاء الاصطناعيتقييم كل جملة
تدريب IPAأتقن كل صوت
المفرداتابنِ رصيدك من الكلمات
لعبة المفرداتتعلّم أثناء اللعب
نفس القناة
B21
You can progress more in 6 minutes than you would in a month | Daniel Coyle
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C11
Semiconductors explained in 16 mins | Chris Miller
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
Mark Manson: Self-control is a complete illusion
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C13
The strange reason nobody views their own retaliation as evil | Paul Bloom
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C111
The 3 ways stupidity spreads throughout a society | Jonny Thomson
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
B228
Your phone addiction is keeping you from achieving flow state | Arthur Brooks
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C13
The paradox at the heart of AI and science | Terence Tao
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C12
The one principal that all highly successful people share | Mark Manson
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
Physician: Listen to your body’s wisdom instead of constantly pushing to optimize it | Giulia Enders
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
5 Stoic lessons to become your best self in 2026 | Massimo Pigliucci
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C117
Why relationships in 2026 carry impossible expectations | Alain de Botton
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1The science of stress, coping, and recovery, in 22 minutes | Lisa Damour
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1How to pull yourself out of a cheap dopamine spiral | Mark Manson
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1Mary Beard: Why no film has ever cracked The Odyssey
Cambridge Exam PrepUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
FOR YOU
فيديو موصى به
C16
49 جمل
Are We Rejecting Them Because They’re Wrong—or Because We’re Unwell?
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
86 جمل
Why Do We Stay in Relationships That Hurt Us?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
139 جمل
How to Get Good at Small Talk, and Even Enjoy It
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C15
52 جمل
Stop Start in Love
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
593 جمل
The Dark Psychology of Value: Force Others to Respect - Alain de Botton
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2178 جمل
Esther Perel Has a Lot to Say about People Dating Chatbots
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
583 جمل
Game Theory #1: The Dating Game
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
237 جمل
Sexuality Professor Answers Dating Questions | Tech Support | WIRED
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
185 جمل
How to Find Someone You Can Be With Forever
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B217
76 جمل
Why Smart People Struggle To Find Love in Today’s World
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
المفردات وملاحظات التحدث لهذا الدرس
هذا الدرس في المحادثة مبني على الفيديو “The uncomfortable question you should ask on every first date”. يحتوي هذا الفيديو على 371 جملة و4309 كلمة للتدرب على الترديد. مدة الكلام 23:33. يتكلم المتحدث بسرعة، نحو 183 كلمة في الدقيقة، لذا ستسمع كثيرًا من وصل الكلمات واختزال الأصوات. 87% من الكلمات ضمن أكثر 3,000 كلمة شيوعًا في الإنجليزية، فالمفردات سهلة المتابعة.
أهم المفردات في هذا الفيديو
15 كلمة من الفيديو تستحق التعلّم، مع النطق والمعنى:
| الكلمة | النطق | المعنى |
|---|---|---|
| insight اسم | /ˈɪnsaɪ̯t/ | نظرة ثاقبة |
| attachment اسم | /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/ | مَوَدَّة |
| marry فعل | /ˈmæɹi/ | تَزَوَّجَ |
| mechanism اسم | /ˈmɛk.ə.nɪ.zəm/ | آلِيَّة |
| forgiveness اسم | /fɚˈɡɪvnəs/ | مَغْفِرَة, غُفْرَان |
| repair فعل | /ˈɹiːpɛɚ/ | أَصْلَحَ |
| essay اسم | /ˈɛs.eɪ/ | مَقَالَة, بَحْث |
| anxious صفة | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | قَلِق, قَلِقَة |
| humour اسم | /ˈhjuːmɚ/ | فُكَاهَة, دُعَابَة |
| lesson اسم | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | دَرْس, حِصَّة |
| curious صفة | /ˈkjʊɹ.i.əs/ | فُضُولِيّ |
| innocent صفة | /ˈɪnəsənt/ | بَرِيء, بَرِيئَة |
| difficulty اسم | /ˈdɪfɪkəlti/ | صُعُوبَة |
| lover اسم | /ˈlʌvɚ/ | عَاشِق, عَاشِقَة |
| mutual صفة | /ˈmjuːt͡ʃuəl/ | مُتَبَادَل |
الأفعال المركبة التي ستسمعها
| الكلمة | المعنى |
|---|---|
| give up فعل | تَنَازَلَ, تَخَلَّى |
| pick up فعل | قَطَفَ |
| try out فعل | جَرَّبَ |
جمل تستحق التكرار
جمل قصيرة وكاملة من الفيديو يمكنك استخدامها في الحديث اليومي:
- What does that mean, how are you crazy?
- If the person goes, how do you mean?
- How do I work on myself?
- Why do we need to run away from it?
- Where are you trying to get to next year?
القواعد في هذا الفيديو
أكثر التراكيب التي يستخدمها المتحدث، مع العبارات نفسها من الفيديو:
| التركيب | في الفيديو |
|---|---|
| الجمل الشرطية if + جملة، will/would + فعل — شرط ونتيجته | If we think that we will have · if confronted with their behavior, will go |
| المضارع التام have/has + اسم المفعول — حدث ماضٍ ما زال له أثر الآن | have you prepared · haven't found · you've found |
| جمل الوصل who / which + جملة — معلومة إضافية عن شخص أو شيء | person who halfway · people who know · person who doesn |
| المبني للمجهول be + اسم المفعول — التركيز على ما يحدث لا على من يفعله | cannot be done · are not guided · was called |
نطق يحتاج إلى انتباه
يستخدم المتحدث 118 من الصيغ المختصرة، مثل don't, can't, we're. انطقها بصيغتها القصيرة كما تسمعها.
- أصوات “th”: therapeutic /ˌθɛɹ.əˈpjuː.tɪk/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, beneath /bɪˈniːθ/, psychotherapy /ˌsaɪkoʊˈθɛɹəpi/, therapeutically /ˌθɛɹ.əˈpju.tɪk.li/
- أصوات “sh” و“zh”: anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, recognition /ˌɹɛkəɡˈnɪʃ(ə)n/, institution /ˌɪn.stɪˈtʃuː.ʃən/
- الكلمات الطويلة — انتبه لموضع النبر: therapeutic /ˌθɛɹ.əˈpjuː.tɪk/, compatibility /kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/, mechanism /ˈmɛk.ə.nɪ.zəm/, communicate /kəˈmjuːnɪkeɪt/, difficulty /ˈdɪfɪkəlti/
أصوات يجدها متحدثو العربية صعبة:
- /p/ — ليس /b/: انطقه مع نفخة هواء: therapeutic /ˌθɛɹ.əˈpjuː.tɪk/, compatibility /kəmˌpætəˈbɪlɪti/, repair /ˈɹiːpɛɚ/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, panic /ˈpænɪk/
- /v/ — ليس /f/: مع اهتزاز الأوتار الصوتية: forgiveness /fɚˈɡɪvnəs/, viral /ˈvaɪɹəl/, lover /ˈlʌvɚ/, relative /ˈɹɛl.ə.tɪv/, administrative /ədˈmɪn.ɪ.stɹə.tɪv/
- تتابع الصوامت — لا تضف حركة بينها: attachment /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, humour /ˈhjuːmɚ/, curious /ˈkjʊɹ.i.əs/
كيف تتدرب بهذا الفيديو
- استمع إلى الفيديو كاملًا مرة واحدة دون أن تتكلم، ودوّن الكلمات التي لا تعرفها.
- ابدأ بسرعة 0.75×، وردّد جملة جملة، ثم عُد إلى السرعة العادية عندما يصبح الأمر سهلًا.
- سجّل صوتك وقارنه بالأصل، مع الانتباه إلى كلمات مثل insight, attachment, marry.
ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟
التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.