Shadowing Practice: life opens up when you take your pleasure seriously 🌷 - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Love, devotion, pleasure, they all very boldly ask, what is life for?
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What is your life for?
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Being chronically depressed has taught me so much about discipline and about love.
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Many years ago, I was going through one of my bad bouts of depression and I came across this question, which is very simple.
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And this by no means was a cure, is a cure.
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It was simply a reorientation.
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And sometimes, sometimes that's exactly what you need.
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And the question is, what is the loving thing to do here?
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It worked for me, I think, because it very quickly turns love into an action.
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And so the loving thing in that circumstance might've been like making my bed
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or taking a shower or making myself something to eat.
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All of these, which I could have definitely written down on a to-do list and, you know, ticked the thing off,
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but then the orientation would have been totally different and the feeling would have been totally different.
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Not to mention that, you know, those were things that I knew I had to do and yet didn't do them.
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These days I've been kind of gravitating towards that question.
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Again, I find myself in the midst of, I don't know, of some big transitions, I think, that are happening and some big changes that I long for,
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but I can't make those changes now.
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So I feel kind of like a lot of uncertainty and frustration, and I also feel quite overwhelmed.
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And so when I remember, I asked myself, what is the loving thing to do here?
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And it is always such a fantastic question, because nine times out of 10,
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I know, I know exactly what the loving thing to do is.
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And I think more than that is that there is almost always certainly a small loving action available to practice.
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I already know all that I need to know in order to act from a place of love.
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And this has been a big shift in how I approach my creativity currently.
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It's how I approach my writing, the thing that is constantly evolving, a relationship that is constantly evolving.
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I have a desire to write and yet writing feels frustrating and it feels difficult very often and still it provides delight.
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It provides a way of knowing and understanding myself and I feel pulled towards it consistently.
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It's also how I now approach making these videos.
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You very likely noticed if you've been following me for a while that my
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videos took a shift and they completely changed
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and it has a lot to do with asking myself
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that question what is the loving thing to do here my creativity is no longer goal oriented
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and I think that that is still kind of a shock to me
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because I never consciously thought that my creativity was goal oriented
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but I was definitely trying to use discipline discipline without love in order to
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become better at writing or in order to be able to write more and create more.
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But now my orientation is very much towards love, towards devotion, and towards pleasure.
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And I find that when I turn towards a feeling rather than like towards a goal or some sort of metric that,
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you know, the process very naturally becomes non-linear.
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Therefore, there's kind of an ease that comes with it.
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So let's talk about it.
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That was a big old intro.
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When I get a little stuck with my writing and a little too in my head, which happens more often than I would like to admit, I know it's time to switch things up.
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I used to be so focused on writing.
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Everything was about writing, sitting down to write, write, write, that I forgot that my creativity is expansive, that it all relates and communicates to each other and
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if I can have multiple different projects I can feel better
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because I can leave one frustrating project and go to the next
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which is why I'm so happy to be partnering with Skillshare, a place where real people teach all kinds of skills from writing
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which I've done so many of their courses to painting to knitting to coloring all of which I've done before.
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Last month I was really into coloring which was immensely therapeutic and now I am knitting, which listen, it doesn't look very impressive,
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but it is 270 stitches cast on.
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And the only reason I can knit is because I once took Vincent Williams' class, Knitting 101, on Skillshare.
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He is so vibrant, so encouraging, and such a warm teacher.
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And yeah, I learned how to knit.
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And so now I can knit different things.
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Fabulous.
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So if you'd like to give Skillshare a try, the first 500 people to click the link in the description box below or to scan the QR code here,
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we'll get a one month free trial with Skillshare.
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Thank you so much to Skillshare for sponsoring today's video and for supporting the channel.
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Sudden change of background.
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I'm taking care of my partner's dog.
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But anyway, let's get into it.
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Discipline can, of course, produce output.
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It can build habits, it can force action, but I think that discipline without love removes the humanity
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and I think kind of like the mysticism of wanting to create anything, or I would even go as far as to say from wanting to make big,
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big change in your life.
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Discipline without love is punishment, and in its punitive form, it instills the premise that we are here to produce and
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that we're here to conform and that anything that doesn't deliver results is inefficient.
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I think a lot about these oppressive structures
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that are kind of hidden inside of self-improvement culture that presents itself as being neutral.
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You know, like I want to be a better person and I want to become the best version of myself.
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Like the language is definitely full of potential and possibility and it seems like a good thing.
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And I think wanting to become a better person is inherently a good thing.
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But underneath all that, self-improvement culture is highly individualistic.
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It is capitalistic.
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It is result-oriented.
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It is ableist.
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It poses productivity as moral virtue.
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And I think it also has a very insidious way of making everyone strive for like the same set of goals,
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deeming external metrics the most important.
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I think for me, the thing that has really instigated this shift, the shift in how I view discipline
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and how I want to view discipline going forward is an awareness of my relationship to time,
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which very strangely, I don't think that I had really thought about in in depth, but if you've watched any of my latest videos,
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you've most likely heard me talk about this idea of making time feel habitable, of making time feel like home,
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like a place that you can settle in and linger in.
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And the thing about discipline, for me, is that it often overrides everything else.
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It usually overrides all the uncertainty that comes, you know, from the future.
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It overrides all the context that comes from the past that might change the way that you feel, that you understand,
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that you relate in order to do something in a designated
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amount of time for a designated number of times in order to achieve a certain result.
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Discipline without love exists only in future time.
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You are never there yet.
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It produces people that can sustain enormous amounts of present discomfort in pursuit of future reward.
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And as a society, we applaud that.
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But what gets lost is the ability to simply be able to, you know, be inside their own lives,
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to reside in the present time, to be as they are.
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And I think that there is a lot of grief
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that comes alongside this temporal structure in which we manage
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and micromanage time and we live a life that is always in preparation for the future.
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And that time just never seems to arrive.
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I really don't want that.
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It's that whole thing with that doctor who spent a lot of time with people dying and across the board,
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everyone on their deathbed just wanted to be with the people
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that they loved and tell the people that they loved that they loved them.
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Nobody was speaking about their achievements or their successes.
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It's all always about love.
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Anyway, I find Hannah Arendt's distinguishing between labor, work and action very helpful here.
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Labor is cyclical and you do it for survival.
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Cyclical meaning that, you know, you're hungry, you feed yourself, eventually you'll get hungry again and hopefully eventually you'll eat again.
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So she associated labor with what she calls the laboring animal, the person who is reduced to the metabolism of their needs.
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It produces nothing durable.
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You consume, deplete, replenish, repeat.
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There's nothing wrong with labor.
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She made this very clear.
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But a life lived entirely in this way is a life without permanence, is a life without the possibility of meaning,
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is like a life without a world.
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Work is different.
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It is the creation of a world, the fabrication of a world, making things that endure beyond the act of making them.
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Arendt associates this with the maker, the person who builds something durable out of materials and leaves something behind.
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So work, unlike labor, has this quality of permanence and it cannot be consumed.
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So for example, if I write a poem and if someone else reads that poem,
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that poem still exists even if the person finishes reading the poem.
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And then there's action, the capacity to begin something entirely new, to initiate, to speak, to appear in the public world as a free person,
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meaning a person that has the ability to change, to be spontaneous, to act in ways that cannot be predicted.
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Action is where human freedom most fully lives.
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It is like the disclosure of who you are and what you stand for and what you bring into the world.
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And I've been thinking a lot about this idea of aliveness and what it means to feel alive and alive.
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And everything I read always points to the capacity to be able to surprise yourself, the capacity to act spontaneously,
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and the capacity to remain mysterious in the way
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that like other people cannot predict what you will do next
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and i think that that is where creativity resides it resides in
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that not knowing and discipline extinguishes that it very it can very easily erode that
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because discipline is based on certainty at least the discipline how
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we understand it today devotion i think can then restore the relationship between all three it allows labor its place
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because labor is important it's important to show up it's important to be consistent it's important to commit to
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that practice but that does not become the whole
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that does not become the whole thing at the center is love
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which i think allows for creativity and allows for creation for making the person
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that is oriented by love can care about the thing
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and care about the thing being built rather than just the proof of, you know, the building.
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And then it allows space for action, for starting new things, for taking yourself by surprise,
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because you are open to the possibility and you can follow curiosity.
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Devotion at its core is a relationship and relationships change and relationships benefit from care,
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from tending, from being listened to, from consistency, from showing up,
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relationships are less responsive to being managed.
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Because to manage someone or to manage something means that there is a distance there, there is a hierarchy, there's a power over something,
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but the devoted self is inside the relationship, is part of that relationship.
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And the most wonderful thing about relationships,
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which I think is also the most terrifying thing about relationships is that you don't know exactly where it's going.
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You might think that you know but love like people can't be possessed
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and can't be controlled and therefore again can always take you by surprise.
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So it requires getting quite comfortable with uncertainty which again I think productivity and self-improvement culture really despises.
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But the thing that keeps relationships alive and growing and the thing that keeps creativity alive and growing is very much this,
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is not fully knowing and therefore always wanting to reach towards it,
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hoping that one day you will know and hoping that one day you will understand.
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And it's it's the desire of it all
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which i keep coming back to i think every single video it's desire
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that leads to curiosity and curiosity that leads to new ways of thinking
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and new ways of understanding and new ways of creating it is curiosity
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that leads to creativity i've been reading the art of love by eric from
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and i've been been thinking a lot about my relationship to myself
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and my relationship to my creativity as I read a book on heterosexual intimate relationships.
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When you love well and when you love right,
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you provide enough space for the other person to feel safe enough and comfortable enough and supported enough that they can change,
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that they can transform, which can be wonderful.
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It is also scary.
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It's terrifying because it means that the person might change so much that they might want to go in a different direction.
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They might want to leave you.
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They might change so much that the relationship changes and change is uncomfortable.
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But when you allow yourself to take a step back and to witness the change happen and recognize the power of love,
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the power of your love, the power of loving is quite special
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and that's eric from's whole thing a shift from seeking being loved to loving we are
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so concerned with making ourselves lovable with changing who we are in order to be more lovable
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that we fail to learn the art of loving
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and it is through loving that ultimately you become more lovable
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because it is through loving that you learn and understand yourself so much better.
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So I asked myself, how can I love what I make well enough?
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How can I love my creative self well enough?
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How can I create space for my creativity, for my creative self to change,
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to transform, to feel supported?
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And Fromm would say that it takes care, it takes respect, knowledge, and responsibility.
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And I think that's all very sensible.
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Every couple of years, I read letters to a young poet by Rilke
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because I think we all should be doing that
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and of course Rilke is absolutely devoted to his writing
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and in his very first letter he expressed to him the need to go inward to really find out
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if writing was the thing that he must do.
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Every time I read this letter I think about vulnerability of going after the thing
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that you desire whatever that might be it's one of the reasons
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that I think this letter always makes me I don't know
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it makes me like a little bit uncomfortable I can feel I can feel the fear inside of me
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because to go into yourself and to find that reason to find
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that thing then requires a moving towards the thing
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because the thing is now alive and real and it exists
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and you can no longer hide from it
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and the pursuit of these desires usually means making yourself visible in some way even
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if it's only to yourself trying something new or trying something out
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or going after the thing that really matters to you requires a whole lot of courage
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because you know it might not work out you might be misunderstood it might take a lot of your time, which might make people continue to misunderstand you.
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It might mean that other people don't take it as seriously as you do.
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Or maybe you recognize that you have built a life around not doing the thing.
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It's all very confronting.
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And it's the first letter.
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It's the first letter in the book.
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Devotion that is steeped in love, that is not delusional, requires an honest look at your circumstances.
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There is no need to abandon the desire,
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but there is a need to hold that desire and look at it without romanticizing it.
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Find small ways to getting closer to it.
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Discipline, how I experience it, makes very little room for context because
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it's rigid and as I said it relies on certainty the certainty
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that no matter what you will do this thing and
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if you don't do this thing then you will you should feel ashamed
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and I've been there and I know
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that most everybody has been there it's not sustainable it's not sustainable
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and it's not enjoyable what I get out of this letter is not necessarily
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that now you have to give up on everything and like completely overhaul your life and take a million risks
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that is one way of doing it
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but I think what I get out of this letter is
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just the question of do I need to be in relationship
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with this thing whatever it is regardless of whether anyone pays
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me for it regardless of what people might think of it
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do I have to be in relationship with this again very
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similar to how I view like important relationships in my life or intimate relationships in my life.
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I won't sacrifice everything for them.
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I won't sacrifice everything for my partner, but they will most certainly not be the last thing on my list.
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They will certainly not be the person that I only see if I have time or if everything else gets done.
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It is to be taken seriously.
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They are to be taken seriously.
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My creativity will not be the last thing on my list.
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That to me is a form of devotion that is realistic given the circumstances that I find myself in.
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There are a few books and a few essays that I can confidently say really changed the way that I view things, the way that I view my life,
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ultimately kind of changed my life.
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One of them is Pleasure Activism, which is a compilation of essays and poems on pleasure that I read, I think, back in 2019.
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I mean, I know I read it in 2019.
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It's, I have a bad memory, but for certain books, I'm like, that was the time.
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That's when things started changing.
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And the essay, The Uses of Erotic by Audre Lorde, of course, funnily enough, that's the intro essay to pleasure activism.
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I had an eating disorder for over a decade and
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that required absurd amounts of discipline for me
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and I lost a whole lot in that decade of my life
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and reading pleasure activism and reading Audre Lorde of course didn't heal me overnight
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but it most certainly opened a door that led to a different path.
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And today, through consistently choosing that path and consistently opening different doors,
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I have a much more normal relationship with food.
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Thank God.
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I realized that pleasure was not something that I ever expected out of life.
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Even saying that makes me, it makes me really sad.
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But yes, it was not something that I considered important.
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Every day I would deny myself all kinds of pleasures and more than that I would deny myself sustenance, like the very thing that I needed to survive
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and to enjoy life which then just like cut me off from any sort of real enjoyment.
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In 2019 pleasure became the theme of my life.
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What happened when I started taking my pleasure seriously, like truly seriously, and when I talk about pleasure,
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I talk about the like sustainable, good, durable pleasure.
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Worlds started opening up for me.
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I started connecting with my body very differently.
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I had been very much disconnected from my body.
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Through connecting with my body, I then started connecting to everything else around me very differently.
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I started connecting with art.
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I started following feelings.
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I became more attuned to my feelings so therefore I could follow them.
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It's everything Lorde writes in the uses of erotic as power
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and my relationship to writing to my creativity as a whole is pleasurable and can be pleasurable.
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The sustainable kind of pleasure requires effort of some sort it
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requires you to move towards it it requires you to act in some way you can't be static
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and in order to move towards pleasure i also have to
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move towards curiosity to ask myself the important questions being able
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to know what is pleasurable to me it requires deepening my relationship to myself.
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And discipline can be pleasurable when seen as devotion,
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when centered around love, because you're showing up to the thing that you have decided really matters to you.
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And that feels good.
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Even when it's hard and frustrating, it ultimately feels good.
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And it feels good because it's durable.
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It feels good because it instills some sort of permanence.
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It is loaded with meaning.
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More importantly, when it stops feeling good, you can notice it because you know what feeling good feels like.
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So you can recognize that and start anew.
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It's very important to be able to know what feels good, what feels good to you, what is pleasurable to you,
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so that you can confidently identify what doesn't feel pleasurable to you.
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You can choose a different path.
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You can maybe put some things on pause.
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Maybe you need to wait a little bit.
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Maybe you just need to relax for a second.
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There is no rush because it's a lifelong process.
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It's a lifelong relationship.
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And so naturally, things are going to shift and you're going to have to be patient.
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And you know that even if you wait for a couple of days
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that you'll come back to it because it's the thing that you are certain that really matters.
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And those things, those things you feel in your body, when you're connected, you can feel those things in your body.
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Love, devotion, pleasure, they all very boldly ask, what is life for?
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What is your life for?
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And I think discipline, the discipline without love, without devotion, without pleasure, it avoids this question.
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It like hides the question away.
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It wants you focused on a list, on metrics, on production, on self-knowledge through accomplishments and performance.
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It has no time to ask the question.
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I think love can really shake that out of you.
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And I think love has really shaken that out of me.
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When I orient back towards real self-knowledge,
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towards feeling, towards connection, towards the things that cannot be turned into information,
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that cannot be consumed, that's where the good stuff is.
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Like, is the life that I'm living accountable to the person that I really am.
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Not the productive, useful self, but the person that, you know,
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can be moved by a piece of music or by art or by the birds in my neighborhood.
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And when I put love at the center, I think that I could confidently say that yes,
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that I am living a life that is accountable to the person that I am today.
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It means that I'm trying to live a life that feels sincere to me.
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It's so interesting because for the longest time I have been such a skeptic and I have even been
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just like enormously scared of the word love and telling people
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that I loved them and it just felt really exposing to me
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but I think it was because I had cut myself off from pleasure
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and from the things that feel good and therefore it just felt
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so vulnerable to be able to share or to bask in love
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because I had so little of it for myself and
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so I was very protective of it
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and it felt like such a big ask to put love at the center of it all
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when I had just so little to spare.
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And look at me now making a whole damn video about putting love at the center of your life
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and discipline as devotion.
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It's amazing what time can do
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and it's also amazing what taking your pleasure seriously can do
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because taking your pleasure seriously means connecting to yourself seriously
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and once you connect to yourself seriously you must take your
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desires seriously i think they just kind of go hand in hand okay i don't know
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that i think that's all i've talked a lot i think that's enough um thank you
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so much for watching i'll see you very soon next week perhaps who knows ciao ciao
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Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección
Este vídeo tiene 324 frases y 4162 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 27:51. El hablante mantiene un ritmo constante de unas 149 palabras por minuto, cómodo para el shadowing. El 84 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés; conviene repasar el resto antes de empezar.
Vocabulario clave de este vídeo
15 palabras menos comunes del vídeo, con su pronunciación y significado:
- discipline /ˈdɪsəplɪn/ (sustantivo) — disciplina. A controlled behaviour; self-control.
- creativity /kri.eɪˈtɪv.ᵻ.ti/ (sustantivo) — creatividad. The ability to use imagination to produce a novel idea or product.
- devotion /dɪˈvoʊʃən/ (sustantivo) — devoción, dedicación. The act or state of devoting or being devoted; a feeling of being devoted (to something).
- connect /kəˈnɛkt/ (verbo) — conectar, empalmar. To join (to another object): to attach, or to be intended to attach or capable of attaching, to another object.
- knit /nɪt/ (verbo) — hacer punto, tricotar. To turn thread or yarn into a piece of fabric by forming loops that are pulled through each other. This can be done by hand with needles or by machine.
- poem /ˈpoʊ.əm/ (sustantivo) — poema, poesía. A literary piece written in verse.
- curiosity /ˌkjʊɹ.iˈɑ.sə.ti/ (sustantivo) — curiosidad. Inquisitiveness; the tendency to ask and learn about things by asking questions, investigating, or exploring.
- essay /ˈɛs.eɪ/ (sustantivo) — ensayo, redacción. A written composition of moderate length, exploring a particular issue or subject.
- sustainable /səˈsteɪnəbəl/ (adjetivo) — sostenible, sustentable. Able to be sustained.
- durable /ˈdʊɹəbəl/ (adjetivo) — durable. Able to resist wear or decay; lasting; enduring.
- consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/ (adverbio) — consistentemente. In a consistent manner.
- uncertainty /ʌnˈsɜːtənti/ (sustantivo) — incertidumbre, incerteza. Doubt; the condition of being uncertain or without conviction.
- consume /kənˈsum/ (verbo) — consumir. To use up.
- metric /ˈmɛt.ɹɪk/ (adjetivo) — métrico. Of or relating to the metric system of measurement.
- certainty /ˈsɝtn̩ti/ (sustantivo) — certeza, certitud. The state of being certain.
Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar
- talk about (verbo) — hablar de, hablar sobre. Used to draw attention to the speaker's characterization of someone or something.
- look at (verbo) — mirar, funar. To observe or watch.
- get out of (verbo) — salirse de, ponerse fuera de. To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of.
- show up (verbo) — comparecer, personarse. To appear, arrive, or attend, especially suddenly or erratically.
- come across (verbo) — pasarse a. To change sides; to cross over to work for the opposition.
- come from (verbo) — ser de. To have as one's origin, birthplace or nationality.
- find out (verbo) — averiguar, anoticiarse. To discover, as by asking or investigating.
- get into (verbo) — entrar en, entrar a. To move into (an object), such that one ends up inside it.
Pronunciación a tener en cuenta
El hablante usa 47 contracciones y formas reducidas, como don't, I've, I'm. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.
- Los sonidos de “th”: underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/, therapeutic /ˌθɛɹ.əˈpjuː.tɪk/
- Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: devotion /dɪˈvoʊʃən/, shake /ˈʃeɪk/, orientation /ˌɔː.ɹi.ənˈteɪ.ʃən/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, shock /ʃɔk/
- Palabras largas — cuida el acento: creativity /kri.eɪˈtɪv.ᵻ.ti/, curiosity /ˌkjʊɹ.iˈɑ.sə.ti/, sustainable /səˈsteɪnəbəl/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, uncertainty /ʌnˈsɜːtənti/
Cómo practicar con este vídeo
- Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
- Haz shadowing frase por frase a velocidad normal, repitiendo cada una hasta que tu ritmo coincida con el del hablante.
- Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como discipline, creativity, devotion.
Gramática en este vídeo
Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:
| Estructura | En el vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — una acción que empezó antes y continúa | you've been following · I've been thinking · i've been reading |
| Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora | has taught · I've been · has been |
| Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace | is reduced · cannot be consumed · cannot be predicted |
| Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa | question, which is · coloring which was · person who is |
¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.