Shadowing Practice: Oprah Winfrey - You Will Never Be The Same Again | Motivation - Learn English Speaking with Video

Elige un modo de práctica

Cada modo abre una sala de práctica a pantalla completa.

517 oraciones

Si las oraciones son demasiado cortas o largas, haz clic en Editar para ajustarlas.

I was raped when I was nine by a cousin and never told anybody until I was in my late 20s.

Not only was I raped by a cousin,

I was raped by a cousin and then later sexually molested by a friend of the family and then by an uncle.

It was just an ongoing continuous thing.

So much so that I started to think, you know, this is the way life is.

As a result of that, got myself into a lot of trouble and believed that I was responsible for it.

It wasn't until I was 36 years old, 36, that I connected the fact, oh, that's why I was that way.

I always blamed myself.

Even though intellectually I would say to other kids, I would speak to people and say, oh, the child is never to blame.

You're never responsible for molestation in your life.

I still believed I was responsible somehow, that I was a bad girl.

The same thing that in some cases causes a child to be abused is the same thing

that causes you to be abused as an adult,

is the same thing that in your adulthood that allows you to never be able to say no to people.

And I realized that I was the kind of child who was always searching for for love and affection and attention.

Unfortunately there are adults who will take advantage of that and misread your intentions.

Part of the process for me as an adult has been to come to recognize

that my inability as an adult female to say no is the same thing

that caused me to be victimized as a child.

Many times I would get myself into situations as an adult where I didn't want to say no

because I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings.

I didn't want to say no because I don't want anybody angry with me.

I didn't want to say no because I don't want people to think I'm not nice.

And it that to me has been the greatest lesson of my life is to recognize

that I am solely responsible for it and not trying to please other people, not living my life to please other people,

but doing what my heart says all the time.

That's the biggest lesson.

You know the other big lesson for me has been to

learn not only do you have the right to do whatever you want, you have the right to change your mind.

Like I'd say, oh but I have to

because I said I was gonna do it

and then later you think about it you realize I shouldn't be doing this

but I said I was gonna do it and I don't want to make anybody upset.

It's taken me 37 years to figure that out, to get that straight.

I think, oh my goodness, if I had learned this 20 years ago, all the time I could have saved.

Look where I could have been.

I don't know if men have this problem.

I think men who are, for instance, abused sexually or physically, that it manifests outwardly in some way,

that their anger and their rage takes on a different kind of direction.

I think women to a great extent, and I know many, many women who were sexually abused,

internalize it and then allow themselves to abuse themselves later on in life.

You know, you just don't allow yourself to be all that you can be, whereas a man will make it more external and will be angrier.

I don't believe that anything happens without a reason, and in order to believe that is the truth, you have to believe it in all circumstances.

If you're going to take responsibility for your life, then you have to take it in all forms.

I certainly wish that I had been the kind of child who told the first time.

And so because I wasn't the kind of child who did that,

a part of my mission in life now is to encourage every other child who's abused.

You tell.

You tell and if they don't believe you, you keep telling.

You tell everybody until somebody listens to you.

If nothing else, that's part of something good that came out of that experience for me.

Because I don't want it to happen to another child.

I don't want another child to be afraid of saying this is what happened to me.

I was living with my mother and living under circumstances

that a lot of young children have to deal with today

and if you'd asked me at the time

if we were poor I probably would have said no because

when you are living it

and you don't know anything else you think that's the way life is I think

that success is a process and I believe

that my first Easter speech at the age of three

and a half was the beginning and

that every other speech every other book I read every other time I spoke in public was a building block

so that by the time I first sat down to audition in front of a television camera,

what allowed me to read it so comfortably and be

so at ease with myself at that time was the fact that I'd been doing it a while.

If I'd never read a book, I'd never spoken in public before, I would have been traumatized by it.

So the fact that we went on the air with the Oprah Winfrey Show in 1986 nationally,

well it's because I've been being myself since I was 19.

I would not have been able to be as comfortable with myself had I not made mistakes on the air

and been allowed to make mistakes on the air and understand

that it doesn't matter there's no such thing to me as an embarrassing moment

if I tripped and fell if my bra strap showed

if I fell flat on my face there's no such thing as an embarrassing moment

because I know that there is not a moment

that I could possibly experience on the air

that somebody else hasn't already experienced it's no big deal

I can't be embarrassed I can't be embarrassed you can laugh at yourself

and you can make a mistake and it's not the end of the world.

You don't have to be perfect.

I truly believe that thoughts are the greatest vehicle to change power and success in the world.

Everything begins with thoughts.

I mean, the chairs that we're sitting in, the room that we're in, all started because somebody thought it.

I thought up

The Color Purple for myself.

I read the book.

When I heard that there was going to be a movie, I started talking it up for myself.

I felt it so intensely that I had to be a part of that movie.

I really do believe I created it for myself.

I wanted it more than anything in the world.

and would have done anything to do it.

It was all, I think, a part of the process of growth for me to recognize it can be done.

I had done a movie called Beloved, a book written by Toni Morrison.

I worked on that movie for 10 years, and then it came out and it bombed.

For the longest time, when I would read people say, read that people had said it was a bomb, I would get like, ugh,

clutched, because I couldn't even say the word bomb.

I couldn't say it failed.

It was, it felt like at the time, one of the biggest, you know, disasters of my career.

It felt like the saddest thing.

100

It sent me into depression.

101

And what I learned from that experience is what we talk about in the book,

102

is you take the thing that was the worst thing for you, the thing that was the challenge,

103

and you begin to look at what it was that you really benefited, or how you benefited from that thing.

104

And what I learned from that beloved experience, because at the time that it bombed, I went into depression about it.

105

My former depression was eating macaroni and cheese for breakfast every morning.

106

And about 40 pounds later, I was talking to a friend and they were saying, so why did this take you down so?

107

And I said, because I just wanted everybody to feel about that movie the way I felt about it.

108

I wanted people to understand that you could be an enslaved person, come through that and still have love.

109

And the person said to me, well, I felt that.

110

I said, well, I actually wanted millions of people, not just you.

111

And then I decided that from all of my work going forward, and that was in 1998 when it bombed,

112

I would no longer be attached to the work.

113

I would allow myself to detach from it

114

and just offer whatever I was doing offer it I say

115

this is what I'm doing this is what I would love for you to receive it in the manner in

116

which I'm giving it if you don't receive

117

that then the joy for me was in the giving of it this is the other thing

118

I think that's really important that I've come to on my own I just realized

119

that you reach a point where you have to ask yourself what is enough what is enough and you

120

You know, I live a really huge life surrounded by,

121

it was actually a goal of mine when I was first doing the color purple in 1985.

122

I remember writing in my journal then that if I ever get enough money, I want a house surrounded by beautiful things.

123

And so I have done that, I have achieved that over and then over and then over.

124

And I look around and I say, okay, you got enough.

125

It's okay.

126

I'm satisfied.

127

I have all the things that I need and so now I can focus on how do I take what I know,

128

what I've gained, who I've become in the world,

129

and how can I use that in service to other people in a way that makes them happier.

130

And that for me that's part of what this book is about.

131

This is the thing, I remember years ago during the beloved period actually

132

when I was being interviewed by a reporter

133

and then about a decade later I ran into the same reporter I didn't remember her

134

but she remembered me and she said yeah I remembered you I interviewed you during the beloved

135

so that was a time and she said

136

but no what I realized is

137

that you're the same person you just to become more of yourself

138

and I thought I actually think that's right I think

139

that one of the reasons why I am

140

so proud of myself is not just because I escaped apartheid Mississippi

141

and was able to get an education and becomes successful in life it's

142

because I have paid attention I have paid attention I am a great observer of my life

143

and the lives of other people and every day on

144

that show it was a classroom for people who were viewing but it was a major classroom for me.

145

And so I learned by watching other people's dysfunction, their struggles,

146

their triumphs, celebrating in their joys about the meaning of life and what it means to live a full and engaged life.

147

And I learned that one of the most important things that everybody is looking for is to be validated,

148

to be seen, and to know that they matter.

149

And that no matter who you are, Barack Obama, The first time he came on the show as senator.

150

He finished the interview and said, that good?

151

Is that all right?

152

Good for you?

153

Beyonce, when she finished teaching me how to twerk, said, was that all right?

154

When I interviewed a woman who had lost three of her children to cancer, she said, did I do okay?

155

And what I realized is in one form or another, at the end of every conversation, people would say that.

156

And I started to see the pattern and understood that what people really want is to know, did you hear me?

157

Did you see me?

158

And did what I say mean anything to you?

159

And in recognizing that, I was able to become a better interviewer

160

because I can give you that thing that you're looking for.

161

I know how to help you be better in that seat, just as you're doing with us here today.

162

Be better in that seat and tell your story in a way that when you leave here, you got what you wanted.

163

I would say be easy with yourself.

164

Be easy with yourself.

165

And it's all going to work out because one of the primary,

166

I think, principles that has led me to success is intention

167

and I think clarifying the intention based on the principles

168

that we set out and the guidelines and manual work that we set out in the book, clarifying the intention, your reason for being.

169

I mean, we talk in the book about asking yourself the question about what you're willing to live for

170

and what you're willing to die for and getting clear on that because that is really the real work of your life.

171

Everybody's going to find a job that's going to be able to bring you money and you're going to be successful.

172

You're going to get all of that.

173

But why were you really brought here?

174

By whatever means you think you got here.

175

Why are you really here?

176

You've come here to serve and you've come here to love.

177

And how are you going to use your service in love?

178

First and foremost to yourself because you've got, the work is not to make yourself perfect, but to start to begin to make yourself whole.

179

How are you going to do that?

180

How do you fill yourself up to be a whole person, a full person of kindness,

181

of grace, and being able to offer

182

that into the world along with all the wonderful skills you all are going to have?

183

How do you offer that into the world in service

184

that lifts you up and allows you to meet the rising of your life and lifts other people up.

185

And so changing the paradigm to how, not just what am I gonna do, but how am I going to serve?

186

How am I going to serve?

187

And my prayer for myself since I was a little girl is God use me, God use me.

188

And whether you believe in my God or your God or no God,

189

the question is how can you be used in service with all this work you're putting in, all this stuff that you're doing,

190

you're doing that for what?

191

You're doing that to be of service, first and foremost to yourself, your family and your community.

192

And then how do you push that out into the world?

193

And if the world is 20 people, 20 ,000 people, 20 million people as it was with me every day,

194

it does not matter because what really matters is that you're building legacy.

195

This is the greatest definition of legacy I ever heard.

196

When I opened my school in South Africa for young girls, one of them is here today,

197

who's now grown in law school and starting work in New York.

198

But I opened that school for girls who were like me.

199

I grew up in rural Mississippi, no running water, no electricity.

200

My grandmother and I on what I thought was a farm, and I went back and realized it was just an acre.

201

It was so big in my mind.

202

I went back, oh, this is not a farm.

203

This is actually just a yard.

204

When I was growing up there, I had a dream for myself.

205

I remember being out with my grandmother washing clothes in a big iron pot because we didn't have a washing machine,

206

of course, and her putting clothes on the line and saying,

207

you better watch me because one day you're going to have to learn how to do this for yourself.

208

And I will tell you that the voice inside myself, that all of us have, that feeling, that spirit, that inner voice.

209

That voice at four years old said, Mm -mm, mm -mm, this is not going to be my life.

210

But I had sense enough not to tell my grandmother.

211

I had sense enough not to say that out loud, but I could feel inside myself.

212

I'm not going to be doing this.

213

And it turned out to be true.

214

But what I do know now is what

215

Maya Angelou told me about legacy.

216

When I came back from opening the school, I said, Maya, the school is going to be my greatest legacy.

217

These girls are amazing.

218

And I can't even tell you, the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy is going to be the great.

219

She said, you have no idea what your legacy is going to be.

220

I said, oh, no, I'm telling you, it's going to be these girls.

221

You should have been there.

222

You should have seen it.

223

She was making biscuits at the time and she put the dough down

224

When Maya puts the dough down get back

225

She said I said you have no idea what your legacy will be

226

Because your legacy is not your name on a building

227

Your legacy isn't even the lives of those girls.

228

It's every life you touch

229

Your legacy is every life you touch and you are building your legacy here and now.

230

So everything that you do going forward, every life that you encounter and experience and the way you treat yourself

231

and the way you treat other people is building your legacy.

232

So think about it in terms of the bigger goal and meeting the rising that is there waiting for you.

233

And the fact that you've gotten here and all the things that you had to overcome means you've already won.

234

So go forward, that's what I say.

235

One of the challenges, especially when you're going through anything, is not allowing the emotions to take over you,

236

and to be able to separate the feeling from who you know yourself to be,

237

and being able to have that little space in between where you can be the observer of the feeling, when you can observe the feeling

238

and not be absorbed by the feeling you can feel it

239

and then take the wheel for yourself it's just like you know

240

when i was eight years old i memorized invictus

241

and at the time i was reciting out of the night

242

that covers me black as a pit from pole the pole

243

i didn't know what the hell i was talking about at eight years old

244

but i did know that the last stanza i am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul,

245

that had meaning for me even at eight years old.

246

And so as I've grown into myself, become more of who I was meant to be,

247

the mastery of that comes when you can separate those emotions and feelings from the who of who you are.

248

So The Oprah Winfrey Show was on for 25 years, was the most successful television talk show in the history of all television.

249

I did it for 25 years.

250

Never missed a day.

251

Never missed a day.

252

And the reason it was the most successful is because around the second year of it,

253

I changed the motivation and intention of the show.

254

I went from just trying to be a talk show competing with everybody else in the rat race of ratings

255

and literally sat down with my producers and said, how do we use this show as a force for good how do we

256

and that came after doing three shows in a row i'd done a show with the ku klux clan

257

and i realized in the middle of that show that i wasn't helping anybody i thought i was

258

exposing their vitriol when in fact they were using their appearance on the show to recruit other members

259

and so i could feel that going on in the audience

260

and then another show that we did with on people who had infidelities

261

and a husband had come on with his with his wife

262

and his girlfriend the producers were so happy that they got the husband

263

and the wife and the girlfriend and in the middle of

264

that show the husband humiliated his wife and said she's pregnant

265

on national television and when that happened i was so ashamed that that had happened on my platform I said,

266

this will never happen to me again, and I will never do a show like the Klan again.

267

And so my producers were like, well, what are we going to do?

268

I said, we're going to turn this around,

269

and we're going to, nobody bring me an idea that you are not clear about what the intention is.

270

And we are going to only do shows that come from the intention of how can we best serve the audience.

271

And I'm telling you, after every show, there was a meeting to say, did we serve the intention?

272

Did we do what we say we wanted to do? and how can we do it better the next time.

273

And that is when the joy, the happiness, the level of satisfaction,

274

the level of pleasure and everything changed for me in doing that show.

275

And it's also when the numbers took off.

276

All sort of happened at the same time, but it was because it was intentional.

277

and we were trying to use it as a service and not just as a show.

278

My favorite quotes of all time is Martin Luther King, who says, not everybody can be famous,

279

but everybody can be great because greatness is determined by service.

280

And what I found is no matter what it is you're doing for other people,

281

no matter how tedious or menial the job may seem to you,

282

that if you shift the paradigm of whatever your work is to how do I use this to serve, How can I be of service?

283

Whether it's your talents, whatever it is you're offering, if it is offered in service, the shifting of the paradigm to I'm going to use

284

this to serve makes a world of difference in the way you put

285

that energy out into the world and the way that it comes back to you.

286

That's what I learned from doing the show.

287

My life is fueled by my being and the being fuels the doing.

288

So I come from a centered place.

289

I come from a focused place.

290

I come from compassion, it's just my nature.

291

I come from a willingness to understand and to be understood.

292

And I come from wanting to connect.

293

I mean, the secret of that show for 25 years is that people could see themselves in me.

294

All over the world, they could see themselves in me.

295

And even as I became more and more financially successful, which was a big surprise to me,

296

I was like, oh my god, this is so exciting.

297

I got more than 30 ,000 by the time I was 30.

298

So, but what I realized is through the whole process, because I'm grounded in my own self,

299

that although I could have more shoes, my feet stayed on the ground, although I was wearing better shoes.

300

So I could keep my feet on the ground, even though I could get more shoes.

301

And I could understand, I could understand that it really was because I was grounded,

302

was doing and continue to this day to do the consciousness work.

303

I work at staying awake.

304

And being awakened is just another word for spirituality, but spirituality throws people off and they think you mean religion.

305

When I was hiring people for my company looking for presidents, when people would come in,

306

I'd say, tell me, what is your spiritual practice? and literally people go, well, I'm not religious.

307

I said, I didn't ask you about your religion.

308

I asked you what's your spiritual practice.

309

What do you do to take care of yourself?

310

What do you do to keep yourself centered?

311

What do you do to the, and you know, one woman started crying, you know, that's not the person.

312

Everything is fueled that comes from me really wanting to be a better person on earth.

313

And this is what I know to be true.

314

The reason why the show worked is because I understood that audience,

315

my viewers, the people who watched us every day and would come and just like you all did,

316

get tickets and they would come with their family.

317

You all just came across campus, but that's good too.

318

People would come from all over the world just to be there with their aunts

319

and their mothers and they'd come with their cousins and there'd be a few men in there going, what the hell?

320

Or saying, well, I went to Oprah with you.

321

I went to Oprah and I'll at least give me clear for three or four weeks I went to Oprah with you.

322

I had such regard for that and I just had a conversation with John Mackey who runs

323

Whole Food and has written this fabulous book you should get it called Conscious Capitalism

324

and he was talking about how the investment in the stakeholders the people who you are serving

325

that connection between the people who you're trying to serve

326

and sell to is equally as important as the people who you're buying from, equally as important as the people who are,

327

you know, supporting you financially, as your stockholders if you are, you know, a public company.

328

So I always understood that there really was no difference between me and the audience.

329

At times I might have had better shoes, but at the core of what really matters, that we are the same.

330

And you know how I know that? because all of us are seeking the same thing.

331

You're here at this fabulous school and we'll go out into the world

332

and each pursue based upon what you believe your talents are, what your skills are, maybe your gifts are,

333

but you're seeking the same thing.

334

Everybody wants to fulfill the highest, truest expression of yourself as a human being.

335

That's what you're looking for the highest, truest expression of yourself as a human being.

336

And because I understand that, I understand that if you're working in a bakery and that's where you want to be,

337

that may be what you've always wanted to do is to bake pies for people

338

or bake cakes for people or to offer your gift, then that's for you.

339

And there's no difference between you and me, except that's your platform.

340

That's your show every day.

341

So my understanding of that.. has allowed me to reach everyone.

342

And there's no way that you wouldn't, because that's what I truly feel.

343

I first came across this question,

344

what happened to you, when I was doing an interview with Dr. Bruce Perry a couple of years ago for 60

345

Minutes Story I was doing.

346

Now I've known Dr. Perry for over 30 years.

347

I first started interviewing him in the early 90s, late 80s, early 90s on the Oprah show,

348

when we were talking about raising children and how important it is those first zero to six years.

349

So I've been hearing about what it means to nurture and support the brain early on.

350

It wasn't until that conversation a couple of years ago.

351

I don't know whether, I think it's because of where I was in my life at the time.

352

I opened a school in South Africa.

353

I've had these wonderful, brilliant girls who come from traumatic backgrounds.

354

grow up and have really serious mental health issues.

355

And I was trying to, at the time, figure out what are we doing wrong at our school?

356

Something's really wrong here.

357

And in that interview with Dr. Perry,

358

he said, you know, most people ask the question when kids are not behaving the way you want them to behave, or what's wrong with them,

359

we really should be asking about what's happened to you.

360

It was like a major moment, like I got it in a way that I hadn't received it before.

361

And I realized that it's not just for children that you ask that question, but it's really everybody.

362

And that moment, Bruce, as I've said to you many times, Dr. Perry, changed the way I saw my relationships, how I saw my own life,

363

how I interacted with people.

364

And even in politics where it was so crazy in the past four years, and everybody's always talking about what's wrong, what's wrong, what's wrong.

365

I would always say, I wonder what happened to that person.

366

I wonder what happened to them younger that caused them to be this way.

367

So all of the labels that you just gave, Jay, there is a world of labels.

368

There is, you know, overachiever.

369

There is, you know, obsessive compulsive moms, soccer moms.

370

There is the desire to, you know, please people all the time.

371

There's a multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple labels that refer back to what happened to us.

372

And so I will just say this.

373

One of the things that Bruce says in the book, each of us comes into the world with our own worldview.

374

And that worldview is actually shaped from the crib.

375

And you get from the world what you project into the world

376

and you project into the world what you were raised with and what you were raised around.

377

So that's why what happened to you is the essential question.

378

The younger the children are, the more influence you have, not only on who they become,

379

but on what their brain becomes because if you're surrounded by chaos

380

and dysfunction and loudness and disorder at a zero to two months,

381

it means the synapse in your brain doesn't form in the way that it does in children who have had that.

382

And you are more likely for behavioral problems, health problems, all other problems in life,

383

just because you didn't get what you needed from zero to two months.

384

That is what is so amazing.

385

I thought trauma prior to my conversations with Bruce in doing this book,

386

I thought trauma had to be a big gigantic thing, experience.

387

You had to go through a tsunami, literally, if not literally a tsunami, a tsunami -like crisis in your life a fire,

388

a hurricane, a tragedy, a car accident, a stabbing, somebody died.

389

And it was through co -authoring this book with him that I understood that it was the consistent little things.

390

It was the aggressions and microaggressions in a person's life that causes them to have their own worldview.

391

Whatever that worldview is for you is different from me.

392

So the biggest learning for me is that trauma doesn't have to have a great big old capital T on it.

393

It's really how you were loved.

394

And that neglect and trauma are hand in hand because both are equally as toxic.

395

Over the years of interviewing people, it was my greatest classroom.

396

I was always paying attention to what people were saying and paying attention to their lives.

397

And what I understood and could articulate, not through science, but just through my own observation,

398

is that, oh, people are as dysfunctional, as unhappy,

399

as.. disoriented in their lives based on how far they are from the center of themselves.

400

And the center is where wholeness lies, as you know.

401

And so where there is no center and there is no sense of wholeness and love for yourself,

402

there's going to be disarray, chaos, confusion, and, you know, dysfunction in your life.

403

And I saw that over and over and over again, that people behave based on how they were loved

404

and then how they were able to process that in a way to love other people.

405

Well, you start with understanding that your cup being full is how you allow yourself to give to other people.

406

You can't give what you don't have.

407

You can't love if you haven't been loved.

408

You don't even know how to begin to do that.

409

So I think it begins with fundamentally understanding that you are worthy enough,

410

you are valuable enough, you matter enough to give yourself the love that you deserve.

411

And that starts by taking out time for yourself.

412

So I have my own rhythm and pattern.

413

I know that if I go six days and then on the seventh, by the seventh or eighth,

414

don't give myself a break that lots of other things give.

415

That I'm not as alert, I'm not as attuned, I'm not as centered, I'm not as focused.

416

So I know that that is my limit.

417

I cannot go beyond a certain amount of days.

418

And for me, walking in nature is my solace.

419

It is where I feel that I am one with all and all being, you know, all creation and connected.

420

For other people, it may be dancing, it may be music, it may be knitting,

421

it may be whatever it is that brings some kind of rhythmic pattern into your life.

422

Actually, it was Bruce and I were walking on my campus in South Africa, and there were a group of girls dancing,

423

literally, on the lawn, because Lord knows they love to dance.

424

And Bruce says, oh, that's not just fun.

425

I said, oh, they're just having fun.

426

And Bruce said, oh, they're not just having fun, they actually are healing themselves.

427

The rhythmic pattern, that's why when you've been in an argument with someone

428

or you're in the middle of an argument with somebody,

429

if you just go and take a walk or you go and turn on some music and you start dancing,

430

if you just have some form of movement, you feel better.

431

That's number one.

432

Number two, one of the most important things most most important takeaways from

433

what happened to you i believe is understanding how the brain works

434

and that diagram that's on page 26

435

or 27 about the inverted brain being like a triangle

436

so you see

437

that beginning with the brain stem that's the lower part of the brain all the way to the cortex

438

and through the limbic area you understand that um you understand

439

that when you're upset or in fear or angry

440

or are in an antagonized state

441

and you're trying to reason with a person a child your spouse your boss your friend

442

they literally cannot hear you because the reasoning part of the brain is in the cortex

443

and what you're saying is only reaching the brain stem

444

So whenever somebody is dysregulated, which is what that is, being anxious and fearful and yelling and screaming,

445

the thing to do is to calm yourself first.

446

Then you will be able to help that other person get calm and regulated.

447

That's how you get to reason.

448

But if you both are just yelling at each other, literally, and you're going, you don't hear me and you don't hear me either.

449

They actually cannot hear you.

450

That's what I thought was so fascinating.

451

I was in a boardroom having to confront someone in my 40s

452

and I had so much anxiety about the fact that I was going to have to have this confrontation with somebody.

453

Normal disagreements would cause me a great sense of angst

454

and worry and oh my god and what's going to happen and I just said what where is this coming from?

455

Why am I so afraid when I am the one in the power seat?

456

I am Oprah Winfrey running the Harpo Studios, my name spelled backwards, I'm the person in charge,

457

and in order to have a disagreement with somebody I go through so much angst.

458

And I realized, Jay, that even though I had the power.

459

I still felt that every confrontation, I was going to get a whipping, that a whipping was going to result.

460

That thing that used to come up inside me when I had to walk to get my own switch.

461

Oh, where is this feeling coming?

462

I'm feeling like in every confrontation, I'm going to get a whipping.

463

And at the end of it, that person's going to be mad at me.

464

And at the end of it, that person's going to say, you better not act like you're mad.

465

You know, all the things that happened to me as a kid.

466

So it wasn't until I was a full -grown adult in my own seat of,

467

you know, perceived power, feeling those feelings of anxiety and anxiousness, having to have the slightest bit of confrontation.

468

So what I say in what happened to me is that being beaten as a child,

469

having to be subservient to other people's ideals of what it means to be a child meaning you are seen

470

and not heard so i've grown up to have this big personality

471

but being raised in an environment where children are seen

472

and not heard and your opinions do not matter

473

so what happened to me taught me

474

that my opinions do not matter keep your opinions to yourself

475

and do whatever you can to please other people so

476

that other people will like you so that other people will not be upset with you.

477

And I will have to tell you, it is also for me, not for everybody else, but for me,

478

one of the reasons why I was so susceptible to sexual abuse,

479

because I had been taught and trained not to speak up for myself,

480

that whatever somebody wanted to do who was older than me or in a position of authority,

481

that they had rights that I did not so that what happened to me was ingrained in a way that,

482

you know, literally caused me to be a major people pleaser for a great deal of my life.

483

If you come into success and fame, and particularly fame, because fame is its own world and definition,

484

because it really is based upon what other people think of you.

485

So because fame isn't what you think of yourself, it's what other people think of you.

486

If you come into that and you don't have a grounded,

487

centered self, you will be controlled by the outside instead of the inside.

488

And if you come into that not in the fullness of knowing who you are

489

and what you're supposed to do with that fame.

490

Whenever somebody likes you or doesn't like you, that determines whether or not you're having a good day or a bad day.

491

And you have lost control of your own life.

492

So I think what fame teaches you quickly is to grow the wholeness within yourself

493

so that you're not controlled by others' outside opinions of you.

494

I have people that I trust and one of the things

495

that if I may pat myself on the back for is

496

that I try to surround myself with people who are smarter than I am.

497

I think that the ability to be as good as you can be comes from understanding who you are

498

and what you can and cannot do

499

and what you can't do is far more important than what you can do

500

if what you can't do is going to keep you from flying as high as you can.

501

I think the most important thing to get ahead falls back to what what I truly believe in

502

and that is the ability to seek truth in your life

503

and that's on all forms you have to be honest with yourself you can be pursuing a profession

504

because your parents say it's the best thing you can be pursuing a profession

505

because you think you'll make a lot of money you can be pursuing a profession

506

because you think you're gonna get a lot of attention none of

507

that will do you any good if you're not being honest with yourself

508

and the honesty comes from your your natural born instinct will tell you

509

when you're doing something whether or not this feels right you feel a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment

510

and worthiness to the world in such a way

511

that you know you're doing the right thing you don't have to ask anybody

512

when you're doing the right thing you don't have to say you think this is okay

513

it's like and it works on every level whether

514

or not you're going to a party or you're choosing a dress

515

or you're choosing a friend

516

if you ever have to say do you think this is okay chances are it is not

517

because that's your instinct trying to get you to ask yourself that question maybe this isn't okay

Descargar app

Todo lo que necesitas para hablar con fluidez

Pronunciación con IAEvalúa cada oración

Práctica de IPADomina cada sonido

VocabularioConstruye tu banco de palabras

Juego de vocabularioAprende mientras juegas

Escanea el QR

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

FOR YOU

Recomendar Video

7 oraciones

Some people are lessons, some are blessings, and some change you forever#motivation #shortsfeed#fyp

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

265 oraciones

Nothing and Nobody Will Ever Hurt You Again – Carl Jung

Daily ConversationWorking Adults

Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección

Esta lección de conversación se basa en el vídeo “Oprah Winfrey - You Will Never Be The Same Again”. Este vídeo tiene 517 frases y 6916 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 39:38. El hablante habla a un ritmo natural de unas 174 palabras por minuto, cercano a una conversación cotidiana. El 86 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés; conviene repasar el resto antes de empezar.

Vocabulario clave de este vídeo

15 palabras del vídeo que vale la pena aprender, con su pronunciación y significado:

Palabra	Pronunciación	Significado
legacy sustantivo	/ˈlɛɡəsi/	legado
intention sustantivo	/ɪnˈtɛnʃn̩/	intención
fame sustantivo	/feɪm/	fama, nombradía
cousin sustantivo	/ˈkʌz(ə)n/	primo, prima
pursue verbo	/pɚˈsu/	perseguir
beloved adjetivo	/bɪˈlʌvd/	amado, querido
trauma sustantivo	/ˈtɹɔm.ə/	traumatismo
surround verbo	/səˈɹaʊnd/	envolver, cercar
confrontation sustantivo	/ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/	confrontación
lesson sustantivo	/ˈlɛs.ən/	lección
producer sustantivo	/pɹəˈdjuːsə/	productor, productora
label sustantivo	/ˈleɪ.bəl/	etiqueta, rótulo
equally adverbio	/ˈiːkwəli/	igualmente
classroom sustantivo	/ˈklɑːsɹʊm/	aula, sala de clases
grandmother sustantivo	/ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/	abuela

Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar

Palabra	Pronunciación	Significado
go through verbo		atravesar
come across verbo		pasarse a
grow up verbo		crecer
come out verbo	/ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/	revelarse, salir a la luz
come up verbo		salir a relucir
figure out verbo		averiguar, captar
get ahead verbo		ir adelante
get back verbo		regresar

Frases que vale la pena repetir

Frases cortas y completas del vídeo que puedes reutilizar en la conversación diaria:

Why are you really here?
How are you going to do that?
How am I going to serve?
I'd say, tell me, what is your spiritual practice?
What do you do to take care of yourself?

Gramática en este vídeo

Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:

Estructura	En el vídeo
Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — una acción que empezó antes y continúa	I've been being · I've been hearing
Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora	has been · hasn't already experienced · I've come
Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace	was raped · be abused · be victimized
Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa	men who are · women who were · people who were

Pronunciación a tener en cuenta

El hablante usa 154 contracciones y formas reducidas, como you're, don't, I'm. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.

Los sonidos de “th”: grandmother /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/, seventh /ˈsɛvənθ/, worthy /ˈwɝ.ði/, eighth /eɪtθ/, rhythm /ˈɹɪð.əm/
Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: intention /ɪnˈtɛnʃn̩/, confrontation /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/, profession /pɹəˈfɛʃ.ən/, dysfunction /dɪsˈfʌŋk.ʃən/, wash /wɑʃ/
Palabras largas — cuida el acento: confrontation /ˌkɑn.fɹənˈteɪ.ʃən/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, spirituality /ˌspɪɹ.ə.t͡ʃuˈæl.ə.tɪ/, electricity /ɪˌlɛkˈtɹɪsɪti/, motivation /ˈmoʊ.tə.veɪ.ʃən/

Sonidos difíciles para hispanohablantes:

s + consonante al inicio — sin añadir una “e” delante: spiritual /ˈspɪɹɪt͡ʃuəl/, stem /stɛm/, spirituality /ˌspɪɹ.ə.t͡ʃuˈæl.ə.tɪ/, spell /spɛl/, slight /slaɪt/
/v/ — no es /b/: los dientes tocan el labio inferior: beloved /bɪˈlʌvd/, seventh /ˈsɛvənθ/, behave /bɪˈheɪv/, observer /əbˈzɝvɚ/, overcome /ˌəʊ.vəˈkʌm/
/z/ — sonora, no /s/: cousin /ˈkʌz(ə)n/, anxiety /æŋˈzaɪ.əti/, observer /əbˈzɝvɚ/, whereas /(h)wɛɹˈæz/, disaster /dɪˈzɑːs.təː/

Cómo practicar con este vídeo

Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como legacy, intention, fame.

¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?

Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.

Técnica de shadowing: lee la guía completa paso a paso →

Shadowing Practice: Oprah Winfrey - You Will Never Be The Same Again | Motivation - Learn English Speaking with Video

Elige un modo de práctica

Descargar app

The Truth About What Should Motivate You

Her Near-Death Experience Came with an Unthinkable Warning

Lewis Howes: Watch This If You Never Want to Be Broke Again

Oprah Winfrey- Inspirational Speech | Motivation | Incredible You

the desire to be loved

Command Your Life: The Neuroscience of Self-Worth & Power

The Journey Will Show You What You're Truly Capable Of

The Most Valuable 15 Minutes You'll Spend Today | Oprah Winfrey Motivation.

Choose Happiness Even When Life Hurts! | Motivational Speech by Oprah Winfrey

Chris Williamson Being Real For 16 Minutes Straight