Pratique du Shadowing: 10 habits that make people secretly respect you - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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272 phrases
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If you want more people to start respecting you in your daily life, then first you need to start respecting yourself before anything.
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And that's why that point is number one.
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Respecting yourself is the foundation to having others and allowing others to respect you.
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Because if you're constantly putting yourself down,
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you're constantly ignoring your needs and you're constantly doing things that you said you wouldn't do just to please other people,
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then people are going to start getting used to that expectation.
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People are going to start getting used to the fact that you are available all the time, that you always agree with them,
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that you don't have an opinion,
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you don't have a place to stand and that you don't also follow up with what you actually want to do.
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So the first thing you have to do is respect yourself.
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Start talking more positive about yourself start being able to set those standards
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and start following your heart and doing what you actually want to do
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and when you start putting yourself first you will notice
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that this starts to happen number two you need to be okay
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and learn to disappoint people
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and i'm not saying disappointing people in a negative way about being a bad friend
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you know not being there for them and being rude to them.
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No, absolutely not.
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But you need to separate disappointing people and doing what's wrong and right.
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Right.
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So how many times do you think to yourself, when you say no to a friend because you can't do something,
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when you say no to a date because they have hurt you
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and you don't really want to give somebody a second chance, it feels wrong.
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You feel like disappointing people is wrong.
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So you feel like the only right thing
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that you can do is take that person back or say yes to that friend because it feels right.
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Because otherwise you're going to feel guilty that you've done something wrong, you've disappointed them and that means that you are in the wrong.
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But there is a difference.
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You can disappoint people and still not be wrong.
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Because when we are so afraid of disappointing other people, guess what happens we always end up disappointing ourselves
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we don't do what we say we want to do we don't actually listen to what we actually want
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because we're always thinking about pleasing them
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and that's okay but there are times where you have to understand where your energy
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and listen to yourself to where you are first your energy has to be first yourself has to be first
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you have to set that boundary otherwise people will never know where they stand with you
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and that does come with unfortunately disappointing people but they will respect you more for that.
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They won't do the things that you don't want to do.
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They will know where the boundary, where the line is and if you don't set that line
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and you don't learn to disappoint people then you will continue being taken advantage of,
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feeling frustrated, feeling upset and people will continue to overstep that bar in your friendship or relationship.
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Number three, if you want to be respected more do not say yes to people at the expense of yourself.
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Now I used to do this all the time.
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I used to say yes to absolutely everything, not because I wanted to, but because I didn't want to let the other person down,
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even though I knew I couldn't do it in my day
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or I could fit in the tiniest little bit in my day.
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I could squeeze it in that little energy that I might have at the end of the day,
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I would give to that person rather than myself.
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And what I mean by this, for example, let's say I'm getting to know somebody, I'm going on a date,
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or I'm in the early stages of a relationship.
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I would always say yes and accommodate them without ever accommodating myself.
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So even though I would have a busy work week, I knew I had a lot planned in the evening,
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or maybe I had the gym in the evening, for example, I would still say yes to that person and probably skip gym.
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I'd still go, oh, it's okay, I don't have to go to the gym today.
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I will see that person.
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Or, you know, I know I've got work to do.
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I know I have to work on my business or I have to work on myself, but I'm not going to do that.
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And instead, I'm going to go and see that person.
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I would always do this and then wonder why in relationships and in dating and even in friendships, I would lose myself.
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So make sure that in a friendship, in a relationship, that of course you have to compromise.
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You have to also consider their needs, but you need to make sure it's also meeting yours.
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And I was never doing that.
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For me, it was always thinking 100 % about them, 0 % about what actually I wanted and needed at that time, in that day.
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Number four, let people disagree with you without changing your opinion.
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I always treated other people's opinions as more valid than mine.
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Oh, by the way, I have just finished watching Vampire Diaries.
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I absolutely loved it.
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It was amazing.
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Did you see it?
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You liked the Vampire Diaries?
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I don't know, I thought that show was so overrated.
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Yeah, well, I mean, it's more of a background show, you know what I mean?
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So I just put it on in the background sometimes, but...
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I would straight away in some ways just eliminate my opinion as
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if it didn't matter because I was so afraid of losing them
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and I just wanted to please them and I just wanted for them to kind of view me in this certain way.
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You know, if one of their deal breakers was the fact that they, let's say, for example, they didn't want like someone who liked gaming,
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I would change my opinion about gaming and I'd be like,
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well, you know, I could quit gaming even though I liked gaming and I like to do it.
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because I was so afraid of losing that person.
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It was easier for me to compromise my own opinion, my own beliefs about things and go,
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yeah, well, you know, I can quit gaming and I can stop doing
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that if it means that I keep this person because I'm so afraid that they're going to judge me.
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Like, for example, for me, a massive thing with my partner, I never told her I did social media for so long.
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I never spoke about it.
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I never wanted to do it in front of her
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because I always thought that it would be something that she would judge, that she would be like, well, that's lame.
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I don't want to date someone who does social media because not gonna lie, I've had that before.
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So I almost kind of quit my dream,
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the things that I liked for other people because I was willing to give that up for the sake of,
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well, if I have to have a relationship, maybe this isn't right doing this social media thing.
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But then my partner one day said to me, you know, that was one of the most attractive things about you.
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The fact that you were different, the fact that you did social media, the fact that you had a passion and a dream.
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And I'm sat there thinking this whole time, this unique opinion or view perspective that I have of life,
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you know, making videos and sharing and talking to the camera was weird and unattractive.
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People won't like it.
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And I was willing to give up that for somebody else.
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And then they say that's the best thing about me.
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The fact that I was different and had a passion, that was the most attractive thing about me.
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So don't change your opinion for somebody else.
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Be okay with the fact that they might disagree with it.
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So many times at the start of a relationship, we try and pretend to be someone we're not, but that mask is going to come off
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and then they're going to realize who we actually are six months in
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so you might as well at the start be yourself
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and let them decide whether they like that it's okay
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if they disagree maybe they're not for you
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but maybe it might also be the best thing that ever happened
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because you'll meet somebody who genuinely likes you for you instead of this potential version
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that you're always portraying to them this perfect person who has nothing wrong who will always give up
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and kind of bend backwards for the other person.
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Number five, be open to understanding different perspectives.
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Be the one who is not afraid to say in a conversation, if I'm completely honest, I actually prefer working from home.
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It's really nice.
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Oh really?
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How come?
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What makes you like working from home?
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I mean, I personally prefer working from an office, but I get why people would want to do it.
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Instead of, really?
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See, I don't get that.
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See, I've never worked from home.
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I've never wanted to work from home.
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Now for me, whenever I'm having a chat with somebody, whenever I'm meeting somebody new,
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I will lose respect for them very quickly if I'm completely honest
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if they always have to feel like their opinion is right.
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They always have to be right even about the smallest of things and this point kind of does exclude,
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you know, the really big world views in life, right?
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Of course, understandably you can have your own opinions
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and perspectives about things that's absolutely okay
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but for me it's more about the daily life the small opinions the small factual things where you know
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you're having a daily conversation with somebody
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and no matter what they've always got to be in the right they've never done something wrong
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you know they can never take accountability for what they've done
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or they never view themselves as wrong or their perspective
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or their opinion is wrong be the one who actually whether you agree with them
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or not tries to learn about people tries to learn about
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why they view certain things in a certain way why they like certain things
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and why they don't like certain things because after
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that people will genuinely care
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and respect you a lot more for being open about their opinion
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and open about their view and about what they like rather than just shutting it down
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or avoiding the topic all in all number six be the
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dumbest person in as many rooms as you can possibly be
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if you are walking into rooms right now you know on a daily basis
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and you are the smartest person there you're the smartest person at work
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you're the smartest person in your friendship group you are probably in the wrong environment
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when you actually put yourself in the room with the smartest people your growth will accelerate
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so quickly and for
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so many years i was putting myself in the wrong environments
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you know i had the wrong you know i didn't have people who were interested in the same things
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that I was interested in.
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I wasn't able to have those daily conversations
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that were allowing me to grow and learn from people who have already done it.
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So for you
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that might look like you know maybe looking at you know asking to change department at work
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and learning a new space in that work.
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Maybe you go and apply to more jobs to where you know you get higher pay
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and it's going to be more challenging and high intensity
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but you're willing to put yourself in that situation whatever it might be.
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Don't be afraid to put yourself in that situation because you don't know where that's going to take you in your life.
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Number seven, speak up when somebody else gets interrupted.
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Now, this is a very quick one, more of a conversational tip.
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But this will help you really gain respect for people in conversations who might not feel that scene.
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We've all been there, right, when we're telling a story.
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And then all of a sudden that one person goes, Oh, so yesterday I was walking home from work and this guy said to me,
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he said, Now, quickly before I forget about yesterday, did you see what happened at work?
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Oh my gosh, yeah, that was crazy.
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I can't believe she said that.
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And boom, everybody else is looking the other way.
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We feel like no one else is looking at us and we all of a sudden shrink.
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We shrink so much to where we're like, were these people even listening to me?
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No one actually cares what I'm saying.
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We stop talking.
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But I see when other people go, sorry, mate, I completely cut you off there.
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Continue your story you were saying.
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Respect.
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And allow them to make them feel seen
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because as somebody who's been in that situation
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so many times where I'm thinking they're listening
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and then all of a sudden mid -conversation they interrupt me
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and I'm like well okay you weren't listening you don't really care what I'm saying.
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I've had that happen to me so many times.
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Number eight, praise in public, correct in private.
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Tom how are you doing by the way?
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I actually been seeing a couple videos on your for you page
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I've been close to unfollowing to be honest
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it's come up all the time seems to be going well not no
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I'm joking I'm joking it's a joke I'm joking
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one of the most important things
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that you can do in a public situation in a group
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conversation is never at the expense of anybody else make them a joke
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and I mean that in a really serious way somebody who's been in
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that situation you know if there's a hobby
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that I like you know I've been posting content for 10 years
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I was in school people were laughing at me I have done a lot of humiliating things in my life
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and I have been the one who has been you know
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when I've been laughed at for the expense of making other people seem funny
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and for the expense of everybody else laughing in the group
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and I can't tell you how much as a person
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that really made me lose respect for other people
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and also made me feel really less of a person and less of a friend to that person
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now if there is something that you want to correct about somebody else maybe you didn't agree with that opinion.
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Maybe they did humiliate you a little bit.
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Maybe, you know, somebody did do something wrong or maybe someone has got something in their nose.
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Correct them in private always.
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Number nine, be ready before they arrive.
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Do not be that friend.
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You know, if somebody is genuinely bending over backwards for you, maybe they're coming to pick you up.
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Maybe they're going to give you a lift somewhere.
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Maybe they're going to do a favor for you.
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Do not be the one who keeps them waiting and waiting
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and waiting every single time you know
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if you say a time to somebody at a coffee shop just
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because of your lack of standards and for yourself they end up waiting
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and paying for it
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because you know you said to them you'd meet them at the coffee shop at one
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and now it's two o 'clock
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and they're still waiting sure understandably things happen in life keep people up to date
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if anything happens maybe you're stuck in traffic maybe things go wrong
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that always happens but if you're consistently showing up really late
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and always not following through on the things
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that you said you do you know
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if you said you're going to do a favor for them
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or you said you're going to arrive at this time
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you're going to do this for them maybe you're going to even pull up at their house at this time
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but you're always late
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and you're keeping them waiting those people are very quickly going to lose respect for you do not be
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that friend who just receives, receives, receives, receives and never pays the favour back to them.
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Of course, also don't be that friend who gives, gives, gives, gives to people who aren't giving you their energy back.
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There has to be a fair middle there.
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And finally, number 10, show, don't tell.
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Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you, I'm thinking about launching my business this week.
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Yeah, I'm gonna launch it this week.
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Hey mate, how did the business launch go?
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So, well, yeah, I haven't done it yet.
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Yeah, I'm still, I'm about to.
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I'm about to, I just haven't started, yeah.
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Just haven't set it up before.
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There's a really, really funny saying that apparently the first date is the best impression you'll ever get of that person.
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Everything else, it goes downhill after that.
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And in some ways, I kind of agree with that.
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Because on the first date, it's so easy to paint this picture that you are the perfect person
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when you first meet somebody say oh yeah
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I work in this I do this I'm starting
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this I go to the gym I have a business
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I have all these great things happening in my life for me personally
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I lose a lot of respect for people who kind of tell me that they're going to do all these things
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but don't actually show me that they're doing what they're doing
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and for me I lose respect for people like
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that I'm like what are you trying to prove
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if you're not actually going to do these things just be honest
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and say about it don't pretend that you are this person who you are not
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because that will make me not be able to trust you
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and not be able to understand in a conversation what is right
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and what is wrong because as a friend perspective I feel like
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if you're seeing that your friend isn't doing the things
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that they should do for themselves how can you expect those friends to show up for you
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if they can't even show up for themselves this is why respecting yourself is
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so important because if you do show and like if you are
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if you show yourself that you can do things and you do do what you say you want to do
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then people are going to see that
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and people are going to be able to rely on you because you know the standards you have for yourself.
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I am so close to 100 ,000 subscribers.
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I might even be at it by the time I've uploaded this video.
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I don't think I am but please subscribe.
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It means the absolute world.
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This is a dream of mine.
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I cannot believe it but thank you so much for watching.
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If this helped, subscribe.
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Join the waitlist for my social confidence course down below.
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So many of you have joined already.
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I can't wait for that to be out.
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Thank you so much.
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Take care.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale s’appuie sur la vidéo « 10 habits that make people secretly respect you ». Cette vidéo contient 272 phrases et 3270 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 16:05. Le locuteur parle vite, environ 203 mots par minute : attendez-vous à des liaisons et à des sons réduits. 89 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais, le vocabulaire est donc facile à suivre.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
15 mots de la vidéo à retenir, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| disappoint verbe | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnt/ | décevoir, désappointer |
| friendship nom | /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ | amitié |
| expense nom | /ɪkˈspɛns/ | dépense |
| sudden adjectif | /ˈsʌd.ən/ | soudain, subit |
| genuinely adverbe | /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/ | authentiquement, réellement |
| disagree verbe | /dɪsəˈɡɹi/ | ne pas être d'accord, être en désaccord |
| passion nom | /ˈpæʃən/ | passion |
| arrive verbe | /əˈɹaɪv/ | arriver |
| pretend verbe | /pɹəˈtɛnd/ | feindre, faire semblant |
| compromise nom | /ˈkɑmpɹəˌmaɪz/ | compromis, concession |
| bend verbe | /bɛnd/ | courber, tordre |
| boundary nom | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | frontière, limite |
| accommodate verbe | /əˈkɑməˌdeɪt/ | héberger |
| subscribe verbe | /səbˈskɹaɪb/ | abonner, s'abonner |
| backward adjectif | /ˈbækwɚd/ | en arrière |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| end up verbe | se terminer, se finir |
| give up verbe | se rendre |
| come off verbe | se détacher, se décoller |
| come up verbe | se montrer, sortir du bois |
| show up verbe | apparaître, se montrer se pointer |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- Did you see it?
- What makes you like working from home?
- See, I don't get that.
- See, I've never worked from home.
- Tom how are you doing by the way?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| « Used to » used to + verbe — une habitude ou un état passé qui n’est plus vrai | used to do · used to say |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | have hurt · you've done · have just finished |
| Propositions relatives who / which + proposition — une précision sur une personne ou une chose | someone who liked · someone who does · somebody who genuinely |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | being taken · be respected · I've been laughed |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 127 contractions et formes réduites, comme I'm, don't, you're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, passion /ˈpæʃən/, impression /ɪmˈpɹɛʃn̩/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, accommodate /əˈkɑməˌdeɪt/, disappointed /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnɪd/, consistently /kənˈsɪstəntli/, eliminate /ɪˈlɪm.ɪ.neɪt/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: hobby /ˈhɑ.bi/, downhill /ˌdaʊnˈhɪl/, humiliate /hjuːˈmɪliˌeɪt/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, joking /ˈd͡ʒoʊkɪŋ/, factual /ˈfæk.tʃ(u)əl/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, disagree /dɪsəˈɡɹi/, arrive /əˈɹaɪv/, pretend /pɹəˈtɛnd/, compromise /ˈkɑmpɹəˌmaɪz/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Commencez à la vitesse 0,75×, répétez phrase par phrase, puis revenez à la vitesse normale quand cela devient facile.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme disappoint, friendship, expense.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.