Shadowing Practice: 9 ways to Speak Softly and Look More Confident - Learn English Speaking with Video

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Hello, I'm Jemila Masayva, an international etiquette consultant, author of etiquette books, and pre -recorded online etiquette courses.

In today's video, I'm going to teach you nine techniques you can incorporate in your daily lives in order to be more soft -spoken.

So before we deep dive into these nine techniques that can influence the way you sound, help you become more soft -spoken, I want to clarify one thing,

and that's very important that we talked about it in the very beginning is

that the pitch of your voice is determined by your vocal cords

and the structure of your vocal cords is predetermined by your genetics.

So the vocal cords is something that we cannot structurally change and that really is the instrument,

so to speak, that produces the voices we have.

Apart from the other thing that also influences the way we sound, the most important are the vocal cords.

Generally speaking, long ones and thicker ones, they produce deeper lower voice and shorter thinner ones they produce higher voice.

So women tend to have shorter and thinner

so their voice is usually higher pitched and men tend to have longer

and thicker chords that makes their voice sound lower and deeper.

There are of course surgical interventions

that can be done to alter the pitch of the voice but that's like an extreme case.

Usually we have what we have and then it's the other things, the way we breathe, the way we control the pace and the rhythm of our voice, the tone of our voice,

are the things that we can actually affect to sound more different.

But the pitch is something that is determined by the vocal cords so we really can't do much to change it.

I want you to think of it in terms of workouts and body.

Your body proportions, so the length of your legs, the ratio of your torso to your legs, your bone structure, the width of your shoulders maybe,

generally speaking the proportions are determined by the genetics, your stature and then it's what you do with your lifestyle, what you do with your physical activity,

what you eat, what you drink is then going to affect the way your body looks.

So though you cannot affect the ratio in a way that you can't lengthen your legs, you can't shorten your torso,

but you can affect the way that the composition of your body, the ratio to the muscle, to the fat.

So these are the things that you can affect in order to look like the best version of yourself.

So think of it the same way about being soft -spoken.

You are born with a certain pitch that is determined by your vocal cords, but then these are the things

that you can do in order to sound more soft -spoken with the pitch of the voice that you have.

Being soft -spoken doesn't mean you speak in low voices, it doesn't mean that you can have a deep voice and still be soft -spoken.

You can have a deep voice and be still soft -spoken.

Soft -spokenness is more about a manner of speech, a way one approaches with the choice of their words, with how they articulate their thoughts.

So soft -spoken I think is a character trait that is actually maybe underestimated.

I believe there's so much strength in being soft -spoken.

There's such a command and control of what you say when you are self -spoken.

So let's look at the things that you can do in order to become a self -spoken person.

So the very first thing

that you can do in order to become more self -spoken is obviously pace your speech

and that is slow down the things that you are saying.

I know people feel the urge to really get quickly the message across.

They often try to think that if I'm gonna tell this

and I'm gonna be very quick people are going to hear me out.

That's not the case. In fact, in most cases people tend to hear out you more

when you slow down your speech than when you hurrying try to convey a message.

Slowing intentionally your speech is something that you can control

so the pace and the rhythm of the speech is something that you can affect.

You cannot affect the pitch of your voice when you talk

but you can affect how you are using your speech or at which pace you're translating a message.

If you're someone who tends to speak really fast, you have to learn to bring cautiousness to yourself when you are talking.

It's something that requires a bit of control in the beginning, but once you have mastered this,

you will be able to actually make it your second nature.

I always say this, that anything requires practice and any character is something

that we can acquire given that we have a determination to have it.

So with consciousness, with awareness, with constant practice, you can slow down your speech.

The next important technique in order to sound more soft -spoken is speaking with clarity.

And what I mean by clarity is not just the message that you say.

Obviously that's very important as well that you think through what you're going to say and that your message is clear.

But it's all...

more about the manner in which you speak.

So speaking with clarity means that you enunciate the words,

you articulate the words, that the words are coming out of your mouth and they're clearly understandable to people.

I've heard a lot of comments and I've read a lot of comments under my videos about mispronouncing words.

I'm sorry that I do that sometimes.

English is not my first language.

I learned it later.

But that's not an excuse to mispronounce.

I try to learn new words and make sure that I pronounce them correctly.

Though mispronunciation can happen, however, I try to make sure that I articulate well and I speak by enunciating the words.

I've also read a lot of comments where people would say, I watch your videos to learn English.

So sometimes even the native speaker can speak, can pronounce the words correctly, but can speak without clarity because they mumble,

they don't articulate or enunciate words.

So speaking clearly or with clarity makes your speech sound effortless and that therefore you sound more self -spoken.

And I think my kid also agrees with that.

The third important technique to incorporate in order to sound more self -spoken, to speak more elegantly and eloquently, is to make sure that you speak with intention.

What I mean by that is that whatever you say, you have to mean it.

Don't just speak for sake of talking.

Speak because you want to say something that's very important.

And I feel like a lot of people this day just fill out the noise or fill out the gaps, the silence.

They just say things for sake of saying something.

However, if you curate your speech and you speak with intention,

you're definitely going to be perceived a lot more self -spoken than if you just hurryingly say whatever comes to your mind.

This brings me to the fourth point about speaking less and listening more.

I think some of the most self -spoken people that I've ever met in my life, be it a man or a woman,

they usually speak less, they speak with intention and they listen more.

So being a good speaker has to do a lot with how well you listen.

I find that some of the most eloquent speakers are the one

that give space for others to speak and whenever they have something to say, they mean what they say,

and they take time to actually actively engage in the listening process.

So less is more.

This is the rule that also applies to your speech.

If you speak less and you listen more, you're automatically going to be perceived as more self -spoken.

Speaking of less is more, this brings me to the next important technique,

and that has to do not necessarily in the amount of words that you use because also that also is important.

Less is more when you have clarified the thoughts in your mind

and you have broken them down into the most essential words and sentences,

your speech is going to definitely sound more clear and you will sound more self -spoken.

But I think it's also important that you curate the words that you're using to express yourself.

That you're using the right words to convey your thoughts.

In order to curate your speech you have to obviously work on your vocabulary, expand as much as you can,

read more, listen more, listen to interviews or read great speeches of all times,

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read the classical books, listen to interesting podcasts, make sure that the words that you are putting into your head are filtered

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and the words that you're putting out are also filtered.

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Speaking of curating your speech another important point when it comes to being

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so spoken is learning to be okay with silence learning to be okay with pauses between sentences i often notice

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that people feel the urge to speak to just say things to fill the silence

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because they're uncomfortable with it they feel awkward in silence

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and they feel like if they speak faster they're going to cover their nervousness or hide their nervousness, which actually does the reverse.

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When you speak faster, when you, as you speak faster, you mumble more, your thoughts get, you know, confused, you confuse others with what you're saying,

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therefore all of it does not make you look soft -spoken.

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If you want to be more soft -spoken, you have to learn to be okay with silence and be okay with taking the pauses.

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And that is something that requires a bit of practice.

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Sometimes it's not comfortable to sit in silence with the people that you don't know.

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Sometimes it's not comfortable to take a pause when you are trying to make sure that the person hears you out.

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But after the pause, your words, they have higher weight.

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Whenever people take a pause and they say something after it, whatever comes after the pause...

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has a bigger impact on the audience.

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I know this as someone who has been teaching etiquette for the past seven, eight years in different auditoriums, from smaller ones to bigger ones.

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And I've been teaching people of various age ranges, and I know that it works for everyone.

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Whenever I took a pause between what I say, whatever I say after the pause has a bigger impact on the audience than whatever I said before the pause.

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So get ready and get used to using pauses.

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The next important thing to keep in mind

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when you want to sound more soft -spoken is that you have to finish your sentences.

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Even if you took a pause, you took enough pauses and you think that time is running out, never leave your sentence halfway.

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Make sure that you complete your thought, that you finish your sentence, that you don't mumble the last part, that you don't just omit certain things that you wanted to say,

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that your sentences feel incomplete.

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A soft -spoken person has a command of their speech.

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They speak with intention, they speak with clarity, and they finish their thoughts.

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If you think that time is rushing you and you need to, you know, you only have one minute to say what you need to say, curate your thoughts, make sure that your message is clear

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and concise enough that you're able to take the pause and still finish your sentence.

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The next important thing to keep in mind

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when thinking about being soft -spoken is that how we talk has to do a lot with obviously the pace,

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the rhythm, the way we enunciate and articulate the words, but it has to do also so much with how we are using our body language,

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how we are using our heads, how we're using our hands, how you're using our whole body to convey what we're trying to say.

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Because when we talk, it's not just what comes out of our mouth, but it's the way our body is also projecting our thoughts.

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So adjusting your body language to the soft -spokenness of your speech is very important.

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Things that add softness to your body language is slightly tilting your head when you talk, keeping open palms, so conveying something that,

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you know, I'm here, I'm open, I'm here to talk to you, I'm here to be trusted, inclining slightly towards the person as you speak towards them,

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adding a gentle smile on your face as you listen, nodding from time to time, letting the person know that you hear them out

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which also goes hand -in -hand with active listening which is also part of being self -spoken.

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So these are the body language movements that you can incorporate as you talk

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or as you listen so that you look and sound more self -spoken.

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And the final practice to learn to become more soft -spoken

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is something I tell to in all my etiquette classes be table manners

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or learning how to walk learning how to have a good posture is

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that you have to have self -awareness and the best way to have

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that self -awareness is thankfully we all have our phones

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that record us all the time is to look at yourself

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from a side record yourself as you're talking be it at home to your parents

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or relatives to your siblings record yourself maybe be talking to your colleagues.

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Watch yourself like a third party person, like looking at yourself from the side

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and see what are the little things maybe on a daily basis that you do that make you sound less self -spoken.

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What are things that are easily changeable

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that you can amend those little things in the way

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that you talk that can make a tremendous difference in the way you sound.

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So recording yourself is a practice

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that helps with learning any new skill be it's again table manners

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or walking properly with a good posture and of course with being self -spoken.

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If you're able to perhaps record yourself as you're giving presentation do that.

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If you're able to record yourself as you're talking to your colleagues do that.

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Use that opportunity to look at yourself from the side

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and learn things that you can work on in order to become more self -spoken using these techniques.

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Thank you so much for watching this video until the very end.

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I hope that you enjoyed it.

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If you did, give it a thumbs up because it helps me understand where are some videos that you like watching.

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As always, I'm open to your suggestions.

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Leave your comments under this video.

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I always love taking notes on that.

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If you want to learn more about etiquette, you can order my books that are available for international shipment on my website.

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You can even order a personally signed one for yourself or your loved one as a gift perhaps.

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You can also join my two pre -record online etiquette courses.

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One is called Western Formal Dining Etiquette from A to Z

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that teaches you everything you need to know how to step out of the restaurant, enter the restaurant, have a proper formal meal and prepares you for any important occasion you might have.

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And the second course is called The Art of Editing at Home

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that teaches you how to set up a table according to four different seasons, how to draft different kinds of gifts.

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Those courses are available on my website, they're pre -recorded which means you can watch them anytime, anywhere, from anywhere in the world at your own pace.

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These courses are giving you a certificate of completion as well.

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You can check it out on my website.

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And if you want to learn even more about etiquette, you can join my exclusive Patreon Etiquette Movie Club where every

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month I do an analysis of a given movie from an etiquette standpoint.

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So far I've done over 50 different movie analysis, Titanic, Devil Wears Prada, Breakfast at Tiffany's,

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Gone with the Wind, so many popular movies.

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You can check them out as you join the Patreon Etiquette Movie Club.

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It's available for anyone who joins now as well and finally

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if you have made up until this point of the video

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that means it's time to reveal the outfit of today's video

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so for this video i want to be comfortable

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and i also want it to look cute for the spring

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so this is a dress actually that i got with my daughter matching

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so it's from a mass market shop called i think it's new yorker

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or bershka i'll check it i have paired them with my favorite vivai flats

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that are in a cute pink dust color with a little

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bit of glitter in it it makes me feel super super girly and I actually have a special code with Vivi.

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Use Jamila 15 to get a discount on your purchases on any purchase that you do on Vivi.

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I love their flats.

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I find them super comfortable wear.

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They're looking absolutely elegant on their feet

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and you can easily match them with any outfit be it a formal dress or a denim skirt or jeans.

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It just looks great with anything.

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Thank you so much for watching this video until the very end and I hope to see in my next one.

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Bye!

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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson

This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “9 ways to Speak Softly and Look More Confident”. The speaker keeps coming back to these words: spoken, speak, soft, words, self. This video has 199 sentences and 2976 words to shadow. The speech runs for 16:27. The speaker talks fast, about 181 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 85% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.

Key vocabulary in this video

The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
pause noun	/pɔːz/	A temporary stop or rest; an intermission of action; interruption; suspension; cessation.
etiquette noun	/ˈɛt.ɪˌkɛt/	The manners or decent behaviour to be observed in social or professional life; conventional decorum; the ceremonial code of polite society.
clarity noun	/ˈklæɹ.ɪ.ti/	The state or measure of being clear, either in appearance, thought or style; lucidity.
cord noun	/ˈkoɹd/	A long, thin, flexible length of twisted yarns (strands) of fibre (a rope, for example).
vocal adjective	/ˈvoʊ̯.kəl/	Of, pertaining to, or resembling the human voice or speech.
curate noun	/ˈkjʊɹɪt/	An assistant rector or vicar.
articulate verb	/ɑːɹˈtɪk.jə.leɪt/	To make clear or effective.
enunciate verb	/ɪˈnʌnsiˌeɪt/	To make a definite or systematic statement of.
convey verb	/kənˈveɪ/	To move (something) from one place to another.
mumble verb	/ˈmʌmbəl/	To speak unintelligibly or inaudibly; to fail to articulate.
incorporate verb	/ɪŋˈkɔɹ.pɚ.eɪt/	To include (something) as a part.
rhythm noun	/ˈɹɪð.əm/	The variation of strong and weak elements (such as duration, accent) of sounds, notably in speech or music, over time; a beat or meter.
mispronounce verb	/ˌmɪspɹəˈnaʊns/	To pronounce (a word, phrase, etc.) incorrectly.
nervousness noun		The state or quality of being nervous.
spokenness noun		The state or condition of being spoken.

Phrasal verbs you will hear

Word	Pronunciation	Meaning
slow down verb		To decelerate.
fill out verb	/fɪl ˈaʊt/	To complete a form or questionnaire with requested information.
do over verb	/ˈduˌoʊvɚ/	To cover with; to smear or spread on to.
hear out verb		To listen to someone until that person has finished speaking; to thoroughly consider all aspects of someone's argument.
make up verb	/ˌmeɪk ˈʌp/	To constitute, to compose.
put out verb		To blind (eyes).
run out verb		To use up or consume all
set up verb	/ˌsɛt ˈʌp/	To make ready for use.

דקדוק בסרטון הזה

המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:

מבנה	בסרטון
הווה מושלם ממושך (Present perfect continuous) have/has been + -ing — פעולה שהתחילה בעבר ועדיין נמשכת עכשיו	has been teaching · I've been teaching
סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה	is predetermined · can be done · are born
הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו	have mastered · I've heard · I've also read
משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר	someone who tends · someone who has · listening which is

Pronunciation to watch

The speaker uses 52 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, I'm, I've. Say them the short way, as you hear them.

The “th” sounds: rhythm /ˈɹɪð.əm/, lengthen /ˈlɛŋθən/, thumb /ˈθʌm/, width /ˈwɪtθ/
The “sh” and “zh” sounds: proportion /pɹəˈpɔɹʃən/, mispronunciation /mɪspɹəˌnʌn.siˈeɪ.ʃən/, shorten /ˈʃɔɹtn̩/, shipment /ˈʃɪpmənt/, intentionally /ɪnˈtɛn(t)ʃənəli/
Long words — get the stress right: articulate /ɑːɹˈtɪk.jə.leɪt/, enunciate /ɪˈnʌnsiˌeɪt/, incorporate /ɪŋˈkɔɹ.pɚ.eɪt/, mispronunciation /mɪspɹəˌnʌn.siˈeɪ.ʃən/, predetermine /ˌpɹiːdɪˈtɝ.mɪn/

How to practise with this video

Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like pause, etiquette, clarity.

מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?

שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.

טכניקת Shadowing: קרא את המדריך המלא שלב אחר שלב →

Shadowing Practice: 9 ways to Speak Softly and Look More Confident - Learn English Speaking with Video

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