Shadowing Practice: How to Become a RELAXED Woman - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Growing up, I never knew a relaxed woman.
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Successful women, yes.
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Productive women, plenty.
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But relaxed women, I'm not sure I've ever met a woman like that.
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This quote went viral on Pinterest and Instagram many years ago,
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and when something goes insanely viral like that,
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it's because it's something that so many of us resonate with.
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So in this video, I'm going to tell you how to actually start becoming a relaxed woman.
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Because a relaxed woman is not just a woman who takes a nice hot bath every now and then.
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It is a state of being.
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And so I'm going to break everything down why so many of us are struggling with this,
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what's holding us back and how to become her.
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And I hope that you do stick with me
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and watch this whole video because learning how to operate from a relaxed state is the foundation for actually enjoying your life.
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Hey friend, welcome back.
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If you're new here, my name's Jill and I help women step into their power,
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tap into their divine feminine and become their best self,
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live their best life.
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So if that's something you want to do,
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you should subscribe and stick around.
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And if you want more from me,
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if you want to dive deeper into being a relaxed woman i have my deep dive feminine energy course
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or any of my other digital products or courses they're all linked down below
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so what do i mean
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when i say being relaxed is a state of being most
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of us think of it like getting to relax taking a
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break you know something we earn after a hard day
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or a long week or we operate from stress
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and anxiety all year and then we book a five-day vacation in the bahamas
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so that we can relax and recover
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that is the wrong approach that's not being a relaxed woman that's being a stressed woman who occasionally takes breaks
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and let's be real even
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when you give yourself those breaks you're probably still stressing about something
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or feeling anxious for some reason
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but a truly relaxed woman on the other hand is where relaxed is her baseline it's the state
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that she operates from the majority of the time she's relaxed
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while she works she's relaxed while she's tidying up her bedroom she's relaxed
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while she's driving to her appointment she's relaxed while she watches a movie.
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She's relaxed while she's going about life and that relaxed state lives inside her nervous system.
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That's what we want to cultivate,
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a relaxed way of being,
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not just a state that we try to escape to every now and then.
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Okay, so in this video,
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we're going to go over why you're not able to live in this relaxed state,
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like the most common reasons,
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because there's not just one thing and it can be different for different people
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and what needs to shift and what we need to do to start becoming that relaxed woman.
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And before I get into it,
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something that I've always loved is making affirmation tracks and subliminals,
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I absolutely feel a difference when I listen to them.
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And I actually made one specifically for this concept of being a relaxed woman and being in your relaxed feminine energy.
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And so I thought I'd share the one that I made with you just in case you want it.
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It's linked in the description.
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It's free.
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You can grab it if you want and listen to it as many times as you want.
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And I hope it helps you.
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So let's get into the why.
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You have to understand why this is happening and what's holding you back or else you're never going to get anywhere.
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So here's the thing.
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And it's actually really simple.
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When you can't relax, that means that your body and your subconscious mind are prioritizing something else over relaxation.
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Let me say that again,
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because that is a very important part of the video.
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Okay.
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No matter how much you want to relax,
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your body has decided that something else matters more right now.
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So no matter how much time you give yourself,
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no matter how much free time you have,
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no matter how much you tell yourself to chill out
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and no matter how many candles you light and how many baths you take.
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Your body is prioritizing for something else.
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So the question is, is what is it prioritizing?
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Because relaxation should be our baseline state as human beings.
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So what is it prioritizing?
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This is different for different people,
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but let me walk you through the most common roots of this problem
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and you're probably going to recognize yourself in one or two of them.
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One, your body is prioritizing safety over relaxation.
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Your nervous system isn't here to keep you happy and relaxed.
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That's not its job.
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Its job is to keep you alive.
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And to do that job,
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your nervous system is constantly scanning for threats.
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And when it anticipates any sort of danger,
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it turns on the stress response in your body.
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That is what it is supposed to do.
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But as you probably know,
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sometimes our nervous systems can get a little finicky and a little extra sensitive and reactive,
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especially if we experienced a lot of stress or instability earlier in our life.
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And because our nervous system learns to be more reactive,
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it can start turning on that threat response when it's not even needed.
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It'll start anticipating danger even when there's none there.
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And when your nervous system senses the threat of danger,
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that will always, always take priority over relaxation.
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Always.
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You get an email from your boss and the tone is a little weird.
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Uh-oh, I might be in trouble.
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Danger.
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You get a bill in the mail and it's a little higher than you thought it would be.
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Uh oh, I'm not safe.
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My finances keep falling apart.
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What if this keeps happening?
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Danger.
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Even if you're sitting on a beach in the Bahamas
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and you know that you should feel totally relaxed right now
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and you paid a lot of money to feel relaxed right now,
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but instead your mind starts spinning about what's waiting for you
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when you get home or if you remember to pay that bill or whether something bad is happening while you're away.
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Danger.
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None of these are actual dangerous situations,
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but to a reactive nervous system,
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they feel like it or they feel like they could be.
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So it stays on alert.
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And when you try to relax,
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your nervous system literally won't let you.
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Because to your body, staying alert is more important than being relaxed.
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What's the point of being relaxed if you're about to get hurt?
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Your body would rather have you anxious and safe than relaxed and caught off guard.
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Number two, your body is prioritizing feeling worthy over feeling relaxed.
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Almost all of us learn growing up,
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to some extent that our worthiness as a person is tied to what we do and what we produce.
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That we have to be doing something,
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achieving something, contributing something to be a worthy individual.
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And if we're not worthy, then who are we?
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Am I still going to be loved?
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Am I still going to be safe?
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Am I still going to be important?
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You know, when you were a kid,
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if you felt like when you got straight A's,
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your parents loved you more,
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then you probably started to embody more of this belief.
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And if we don't unlearn that belief,
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that your worthiness and your value as a person is directly tied to your output and your productivity.
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It'll keep pushing you to always be on,
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always be doing something, perfectionism tendencies, never resting, never relaxing.
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Because feeling unworthy is an awful feeling.
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And we often correlate it with feeling unloved, unwanted, and replaceable.
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So your body decides proving our worth is the priority.
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Producing is the priority.
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Doing is the priority.
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Relaxation?
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That can happen another time.
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I don't want to be unloved.
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I don't want to be unwanted.
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I don't want to not be valuable.
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And so you stay on all day.
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Even when you're cooking dinner,
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you're thinking about tomorrow's to-do list.
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Or even when you're with your husband,
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you're calculating what needs to get done.
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Even when you're driving somewhere, you're mentally drafting emails.
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You can't be relaxed because your body is always pushing you towards
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that next thing to do to stay worthy and stay valuable.
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So that state of relaxation,
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it never comes because there is always more that you can be doing.
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And so this belief keeps you in a trap
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and you will never be able to be a relaxed woman because your body is prioritizing feeling worthy,
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feeling loved, feeling important, feeling valuable over feeling relaxed.
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It doesn't think that the two can go together.
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Three, your body is prioritizing control over relaxation.
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If your body thinks that if you don't stay in control mode,
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aka managing every detail and staying one step ahead of everything,
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that life might spiral out of control and that everything's going to fall apart,
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well then why would your body relax?
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Your body is prioritizing being in control and being on top of everything instead of relaxation.
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But when you look at a relaxed woman,
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I want you to think about it.
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What's actually different about her?
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It's not just that she wakes up a little early every day to take it slow in the morning.
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What's really different about a relaxed woman,
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the core of it is that she trusts life.
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She trusts that things are going to work out.
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She trusts herself to handle whatever comes.
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She trusts that even if something inconvenient happens or the plans change or if life throws a curveball,
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she will be okay.
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You can only drop your grip on control if you have trust.
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Think about it.
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It's like when you're in a relationship with a man who you do not trust.
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You don't trust that they're going to do what they say.
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You don't trust that they're going to be able to handle what comes.
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What happens?
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You start to become controlling.
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Same with life.
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If you don't trust life,
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you'll step into control mode.
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And when control becomes the priority, relaxation never happens.
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So these are the three big deeper reasons that I've found that will block you from ever being a relaxed woman.
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Either when she doesn't trust that she's safe,
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so she stays on alert.
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She doesn't trust that she's worthy without producing,
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so she's constantly in doing mode.
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Even if not physically, it's happening mentally.
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Or she doesn't trust life and the flow of life,
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so she controls everything.
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And it doesn't matter how much free time you have.
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If you struggle with one of these or all of these,
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your baseline state won't be relaxed.
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You know, about two or three years ago,
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I started outsourcing a bit more,
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and I started buying back my time.
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And when I did, when I got more of my time back,
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and I had so much more time to chill,
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it didn't automatically make me more chill and relaxed.
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Because no matter how much time you have,
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until that underlying thing gets addressed,
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your body will put relaxation on the back burner.
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It is simply prioritizing for something else.
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Which none of these things are overnight quick fixes.
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You know, healing your nervous system,
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untangling your worth from your productivity,
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learning to trust life and not control everything.
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I realize it's not going to be an overnight fix for you,
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but once you get honest with yourself and figure out and identify what your body is prioritizing for instead,
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you can start actively working on
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that rather than just trying to like book yourself a massage here and then and hope that makes you feel better.
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I just want you to think about that.
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Relaxation is actually your natural state.
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It just gets blocked when your body decides that something else needs your attention more.
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Now those are the deeper blocks,
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but beyond those, there's a lot more that goes into being a relaxed woman
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and things that you can kind of start doing today.
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So let's get into those.
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The first thing is to slow down and stop the rush.
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To be a relaxed woman,
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it comes from the right mindset.
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Yes, that's very important.
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But what I think a lot of people underestimate
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and don't realize is that the mind is constantly taking cues from the body.
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Like you have to understand here,
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your nervous system is constantly scanning two things at all times.
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What's happening outside in your environment, right?
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And also what's happening inside your body.
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And it uses your body as one of the most reliable signals as what's actually going on.
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If your body is moving calmly,
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your muscles are relaxed, your nervous system assumes that everything is probably fine.
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If your body is rushing and tense,
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you know, quick stressful movements,
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breathing really shallow breaths, even if it doesn't see
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that there's anything in your environment that's dangerous the nervous system figures ah something must be wrong even
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if nothing actually is even if your nervous system is scanning the environment around you
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and doesn't notice anything wrong it doesn't pick up on any threats
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if your body is tense like that it'll assume
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that i must be missing something in the environment
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because why else is the body reacting like this your body
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is the most valuable data your nervous system uses to determine its state.
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So my point is that that physical body tension,
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that frantic energy, the clenched muscles,
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the hurrying, that will keep your nervous system on alert mode, on stress mode.
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So if you want to feel like a more relaxed woman,
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like at the nervous system level,
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at the soul level, start with the body.
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This is the easiest thing to do because it is purely physical.
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And once you start really paying attention,
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you'll notice that most of us are tense and rushing around for no reason.
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We're running up and down the stairs.
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We're washing the dishes as fast as we can.
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We're eating, standing up.
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We're replying to work emails with our jaws completely clenched.
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We're driving with our shoulders all tight.
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None of that is required.
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And our nervous system is picking that up.
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It's reading it and going,
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oh my gosh, I need to prioritize for safety because something must be happening.
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Relaxation?
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No, I'm not going to let that happen right now.
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If you ever look at a relaxed woman,
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you'll see this in how she moves.
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Her muscles are just a little bit more relaxed.
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she's looser you'll see her hips flow a little bit more
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when she walks she's not rushing from one thing to the next her body is relaxed
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and you can feel this in her aura too
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so start with the body first relax your muscles unclench your jaw relax your shoulders let your hips move
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when you walk stop rushing to and from everything stop rushing through every single task
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that you have to do today you are not running out of time you can relax next is
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that a relaxed woman actually builds rest and spaciousness and breaks into her life.
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If you're running at 120% capacity every single day,
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then how do you think your nervous system is going to feel?
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Women who are naturally relaxed do not overload their plate.
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They don't overcommit to way too much.
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They're not afraid to delegate when they could use the help.
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And basically they've built room into their life for decompression and not just constant productivity.
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Now I'm not a religious person,
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but something that i do really love is
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that a lot of religions actually have a built-in day of rest christians have sundays as their day of rest
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and i believe the jewish religion has sabbath
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which is like friday night to saturday night as their day
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of rest different forms of this exist in different religions
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and different traditions all over the world i think there's something really wise about
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that
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that we've lost you know it's not oh you can rest
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once you've done this once you're feeling burnt out you can
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rest only once you've done enough they built rest into the
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week into their life it's part of the rhythm of their life it's just how they operate
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and i think that
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that difference is key a relaxed woman doesn't just rest to recover she rests
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because it's part of who she is it's part of her
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natural state here's the thing taking breaks does not just all of a sudden create a relaxed life
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but they do support it you have to be intentional about building a life
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that has space and rest woven into it not just something
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that you escape to and listen you can have everything you want in this life the career,
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the family, whatever, but you can't have all of it operating at 100% all the time.
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Life doesn't work like that.
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There are seasons.
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And you will never be a relaxed woman if you're trying to do all things at max capacity all at once.
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Are you in a career busy season?
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It's okay if your social life is a little bit quieter right now.
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Do you have a young baby?
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Let your fitness be lighter and less intense right now.
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Building a business?
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It's okay if some of the home stuff slides sometimes.
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Another thing relaxed women do differently is that they don't catastrophize little things and they let small things stay small.
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Life is going to be annoying sometimes.
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You know, the traffic gets bad.
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The flight gets delayed.
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Your kids spill something.
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Your husband forgot something.
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Let small things stay small.
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You will notice this pattern in chronically anxious and stressed women over and over again.
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When something happens, an inconvenience,
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yes, something annoying happens, they spiral and they flip out and it becomes this huge deal.
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So the traffic isn't just a little bit of traffic.
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It's, oh, this always happens to me.
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This is going to ruin my entire day.
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Of course, today of all days,
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I'm going to be late.
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Yes, it's an inconvenience, but it's not a crisis.
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And when you treat these little things as a crisis and you react as if it is kind of like a crisis,
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then again, your nervous system picks up on that,
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picks up on your body cues because that's what it's designed to do.
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And it's going to turn on fight or flight mode and keep you in stress mode.
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My mother, may she rest in peace,
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she was the most amazing mother and had many amazing qualities,
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but she did this.
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She would kind of flip out a little over the slightest inconveniences and the slightest stressors.
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You know, everything was a big deal.
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And watching her live her life like
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that kind of taught me to do the exact opposite because she was the most stressed woman I knew.
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To be a relaxed woman,
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you must trust the flow of life.
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Hiccups that happen in your life can just be hiccups and nothing more.
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Next time an annoying inconvenience happens,
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like bad traffic or whatever,
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something that stresses you out a little bit,
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but it's not a crisis.
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As much as you want to react and spiral,
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accept the annoyance for what it is and stop fighting it.
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The traffic is bad.
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Okay.
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The flight is delayed.
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Okay.
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I forgot to pack my favorite dress that I bought just for this vacation.
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Okay.
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If you can't change anything,
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then what is that stress actually doing for your life?
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And it's the fight that creates that spiral,
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the fight against the stress, the resistance to it.
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You don't have to like it.
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You don't have to be happy about it.
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But once you drop the fight, so does the stress.
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And sometimes you can just let small things be small.
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And lastly, there's another aspect of this that hardly ever gets talked about.
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So many women are blocked from living a relaxed life,
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and they get to the point where relaxation isn't even enjoyable anymore
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because they've become so detached from play and pleasure and their feminine energy.
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Relaxation is a feel-good state.
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It's a pleasure state.
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And when you become so disconnected from fun and pleasure and romanticizing your life,
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when you struggle to access pleasure and feel pleasure,
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then there will be no relaxation state.
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And if you've been stuck in your masculine energy for so long and really stuck in doing mode and output mode,
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achieving, producing, optimizing for so long,
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the part of you that actually feels pleasure can start to go dormant and it's almost like a muscle.
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It's like you can't even really feel it anymore.
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You sit down to relax and you don't even know what to do with yourself.
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Your hobbies feel like work.
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Your meals are just purely functional.
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There's no joy in getting dressed anymore.
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Where did the pleasure go?
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Where did the pleasure go in your life?
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This isn't a relaxation problem.
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It's a pleasure problem.
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It's a feminine energy disconnect.
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This is one of the biggest signs a woman has lost her connection to her feminine energy.
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Pleasure isn't a part of her life anymore and it isn't easily accessed.
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And therefore being a relaxed woman becomes impossible.
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Learning how to turn on and access your feminine energy is learning how to let things feel good again.
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And I teach all of this in my deep dive feminine energy course.
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It'll transform the way that you live your life and the way that you feel,
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and it'll teach you how to be a magnetic woman again.
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Reconnecting to my feminine energy quite literally changed my life,
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my health, my relationships, my nervous system,
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and helped me become that relaxed woman connected to play and pleasure again.
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And if that's something you feel called to explore,
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the link for that is down below.
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Now, like I said, being a relaxed woman is heavily tied to the nervous system,
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which is not surprising.
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But in this video here,
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I break down exactly how to heal your nervous system.
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And I promise you this video will make it make sense.
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It's such a big, confusing topic,
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but this video breaks it down in a way that you've probably never heard before.
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So I'll see you over there.
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Bye.
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אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה
שיעור הדיבור הזה ברמה B2 מבוסס על הסרטון “How to Become a RELAXED Woman”. המילים שחוזרות הכי הרבה: relaxed, nervous, relaxation. בסרטון הזה יש 403 משפטים ו-3803 מילים לתרגול Shadowing. הדיבור נמשך 18:43. הדובר מדבר מהר, כ-203 מילים בדקה, אז צפו לצלילים מחוברים ומקוצרים. 84% מהמילים נמצאות בין 3,000 המילים הנפוצות ביותר באנגלית; כדאי ללמוד את השאר לפני שמתחילים.
אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה
15 המילים המתקדמות ביותר בסרטון, עם ההגייה והמשמעות שלהן:
| מילה | הגייה | משמעות |
|---|---|---|
| inconvenience שם עצם | /ɪnkənˈvinjəns/ | אי נוחות |
| annoy פועל | /əˈnoɪ̯/ | הֵצִיק |
| tense שם עצם | /tɛns/ | זְמַן |
| scan פועל | /skæn/ | סָרַק |
| anxious שם תואר | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | חָרֵד |
| dive פועל | /daɪv/ | צָלַל |
| disconnect פועל | /dɪskəˈnɛkt/ | ניתק |
| hiccup שם עצם | /ˈhɪkʌp/ | שיהוק |
| cue שם עצם | /kju/ | אות, סִימָן |
| heal פועל | /ˈhiːl/ | שיפר \ שִׁפֵּר |
| overnight תואר הפועל | /əʊvə(ɹ)ˈnaɪt/ | בִּן לַיְלָה |
| affirmation שם עצם | /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/ | חיווי, הצהרה |
| annoyance שם עצם | /əˈnɔɪ.əns/ | הֲצָקָה |
| cultivate פועל | /ˈkʌltɪveɪt/ | טיפח |
| embody פועל | /ɪmˈbɒdi/ | התגלם |
Phrasal verbs שתשמעו
| מילה | הגייה | משמעות |
|---|---|---|
| fall apart פועל | התפרק, מט לנפול | |
| grow up פועל | גָּדַל | |
| figure out פועל | הֵבִין, מצא תשובה | |
| stand up פועל | קָם | |
| wake up פועל | /ˌweɪk ˈʌp/ | התעורר |
משפטים שכדאי לחזור עליהם
משפטים קצרים ושלמים מהסרטון שאפשר להשתמש בהם בשיחה יומיומית:
- What's the point of being relaxed if you're about to get hurt?
- Am I still going to be loved?
- Am I still going to be safe?
- Am I still going to be important?
- Are you in a career busy season?
דקדוק בסרטון הזה
המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:
| מבנה | בסרטון |
|---|---|
| הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו | I've ever met · I've always loved · has decided |
| סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה | is tied · be loved · is directly tied |
| משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר | woman who takes · woman who occasionally · man who you |
הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה
הדובר משתמש ב-95 קיצורים וצורות מקוצרות, כמו you're, don't, doesn't. אמרו אותם בצורה הקצרה, כפי שאתם שומעים אותם.
- הצלילים של “th”: worthiness /ˈwɜː(ɹ)ðɪnəs/, rhythm /ˈɹɪð.əm/
- הצלילים של “sh” ו-“zh”: relaxation /rᵻˌlækˈseɪ.ʃən/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/, decompression /ˌdiːkəmˈpɹɛʃən/, perfectionism /pɚˈfɛk.ʃə.nɪ.zm̩/
- מילים ארוכות — שימו לב להטעמה: prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/, inconvenience /ɪnkənˈvinjəns/, productivity /ˌpɹɒdʌkˈtɪvəti/, anticipate /ænˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, catastrophize /kəˈtæstɹəfaɪz/
צלילים שדוברי עברית מתקשים בהם:
- /w/ — שפתיים מעוגלות, לא /v/: worthiness /ˈwɜː(ɹ)ðɪnəs/, unwanted /ʌnˈwɒntɪd/, weave /wiːv/
- /æ/ — פתוח יותר מה-“אֶ” העברית, לא כמו “a” ב-“cup”: relaxation /rᵻˌlækˈseɪ.ʃən/, reactive /ɹiːˈæktɪv/, scan /skæn/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, react /ɹiːˈækt/
- /r/ — הלשון לא נוגעת בשום מקום, לא ה-“ר” הגרונית: relaxation /rᵻˌlækˈseɪ.ʃən/, prioritize /pɹaɪˈɒɹ.ə.taɪz/, spiral /ˈspaɪɹəl/, reactive /ɹiːˈæktɪv/, productivity /ˌpɹɒdʌkˈtɪvəti/
איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה
- הקשיבו לכל הסרטון פעם אחת בלי לדבר, ורשמו את המילים שאתם לא מכירים.
- התחילו במהירות 0.75×, תרגלו Shadowing משפט אחר משפט, וחזרו למהירות רגילה כשזה מרגיש קל.
- הקליטו את עצמכם והשוו למקור, תוך תשומת לב למילים כמו inconvenience, annoy, tense.
מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?
שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.