Shadowing Practice: I CAN'T CLOSE MY BANK ACCOUNT | Gautham Govindan | Stand-Up Comedy - Learn English Speaking with Video
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293 משפטים
אם המשפטים קצרים או ארוכים מדי, לחץ על ערוך כדי להתאים אותם.
1
I've reached a point where I'm not worried about my screen time anymore, let me be honest.
2
I've made peace of the fact that half my brain belongs to Meta
3
or Google or whoever can hook me with a toing sound.
4
My bigger concern is that because I'm spending so much time on screens, I'm losing a lot of skills that I gained in the past, right?
5
One of the things I've lost is my handwriting, guys.
6
Oh my, it's gone.
7
In my defense, I never had it, okay?
8
Because I write with my left hand, I'm a left-hander, and I don't write like this, I write like this.
9
Left arm around the wicket.
10
And as if this is not awkward enough, every time I write, my tongue also comes around.
11
Nip of the mind.
12
If you're a left-hander, if you're knowing left-handers, you always see, they always hold the pen little weirdly.
13
Like most of them hold it like me, like doggy style, they hold it.
14
They hold it like chopsticks.
15
Some people, their whole body goes to cursive.
16
And it's not because we want to please the pen or anything, okay?
17
It's because if we write like how you right-handers write, right?
18
Whatever, you know, missionary.
19
All the ink ends up coming here.
20
Right?
21
Because when you write, before the ink dries, this Gillette Mark III aloe vera gel strip You're writing and erasing at the same time.
22
This becomes an encryption software.
23
End-to-end encryption.
24
So strong, even you don't know what you wrote.
25
So I have to write like this.
26
It looks awkward.
27
People think I'm showing off when I write like this.
28
They look at me, they're like, wow!
29
Oh!
30
Watham, you can ride with your left also?
31
Actually, I can ride with my right hand as well, because if you're in school, and you ride like you're possessed by an evil spirit,
32
they try to convert you. And you know what?
33
They could just told me, hey, just ride with your right hand.
34
You know how they try to convert me?
35
They sat a girl over here. Do you get it?
36
For me to go like this, my elbow would have reached places that would lead to other elbows coming to my face.
37
So I wrote with right hand, one year I wrote with my right hand.
38
Bad handwriting there also by the way.
39
Yeah, the school concluded that my thoughts have bad handwriting.
40
I can write with both hands, but I'm not ambidextrous.
41
Ambidextrous is when you can write well with both hands.
42
I can write shit with both hands.
43
I'm ambi-illiterate.
44
All my appendages are dumb.
45
But now, guys, my current handwriting, you should, I mean, I hope you don't see it, because my current handwriting should be acceptable only on the walls of a cave.
46
Next to some dinosaur bones or something.
47
If you see my handwriting, you will guess I'm a lefty, but you will guess left leg. Or left nostril.
48
Because I saw my handwriting recently because I had to close an old bank account of mine.
49
I had a 10 year old bank account which had 7 rupees in it and with the power of compound interest
50
It's now 9 rupees guys If you want any more financial advice please give me also
51
Sir, I'm filling up that form Oh my god Every bone in my arm is paining.
52
I'm losing hope in between a sentence.
53
I'm writing my address like 73, second floor.
54
Etcetera.
55
No two words look the same.
56
All different fonts.
57
One is Times New Roman.
58
One is Comic Sans.
59
One is Devanagri.
60
Script essay.
61
I finished the form.
62
You know what my form looked like?
63
It looked like a ransom note, a kidnapper's hands.
64
You know what I'm talking about?
65
The note they send the police, send this much money or we'll kill you.
66
They cut words from different places and they stick it together.
67
Isn't that hilarious, guys?
68
That in an intense situation of a kidnapping, one bastard is doing art and crafts over there.
69
Everybody's like, oh, oh, this guy's like, mm-mm-mm.
70
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
71
Hmm.
72
Kill.
73
By the way, scissors is also, it's a right-handed instrument.
74
I don't know if you know that, right?
75
If you cut it, the left-hand paper doesn't cut.
76
It just folds, like, why you...
77
Why are you cutting?
78
That's my biggest nightmare.
79
If I get called to inaugurate a store or something.
80
Oh man, so embarrassing it will be.
81
I'll end up opening the store like I open a lace packet.
82
I finished the form, next obstacle came.
83
I forgot my signature.
84
Guys, let me ask you one thing.
85
Why have we moved away from thumbprint?
86
Right?
87
If we use a thumbprint as a sign of illiteracy, right?
88
But when Apple puts on the phone, you're like, Oh wow, genius!
89
Security!
90
Imagine every time you had to unlock your phone, you had to sign.
91
Your phone will forever be locked.
92
You take your phone like,
93
Ahhhh And now your phone is locked for 3 minutes because of so many incorrect tries.
94
Oh, okay.
95
Now you forgot what you wanted to lock and lock your phone for.
96
Oh, ambulance.
97
Yeah, hello?
98
I'm telling you dude, like, it's better.
99
The thumbprint is better, right?
100
Everybody has their own, you don't have to learn it.
101
You can't forge a thumbprint.
102
Right?
103
I mean, it'll be pretty obvious when you carry a separate thumb in your pocket.
104
What is mine only?
105
I'm Hrithik.
106
See, I'm team thumbprint.
107
Okay?
108
Because see, if I do a thumbprint, people will be like, oh, he might be illiterate.
109
But if I sign, people will be like, he is illiterate.
110
Because I don't have a sign.
111
Because when I was a kid, I was so good at copying my mom and dad's signature that I forgot to work on my own.
112
So now every sign is different.
113
The G is there.
114
Gautam's G is there.
115
But after that, guys, it's wherever the pen takes me.
116
Before signing, I look at the other person like, are you ready?
117
Because the journey we both embark on together.
118
Right?
119
It can be anything.
120
It can be Gautam, it can be Gautam, go and then, if I'm feeling like a loser that day, Gautam Gambhir also comes out.
121
I'm telling you.
122
It's mostly a jazz signature. But I signed.
123
Whatever I thought my signature was, I signed over there.
124
Right?
125
And this bang guy, he looked at his monitor which had my sign from 10 years back.
126
And he was like, Oh, the signs don't match.
127
And I was like, of course.
128
It's been 10 years.
129
Aren't you happy that I've changed as a person?
130
He's like, no, no, no. The signs have to match.
131
What if you're a fraud? for 9 rupees?
132
Even if you think I'm a fraud, what kind of low ambition crime do you think I'm doing?
133
He's like, no, no, no, no. Signs have to match.
134
I was like, give me another paper.
135
I signed over there.
136
He was like, signs don't match.
137
I was like, bro, just show me the monitor.
138
I can copy really well.
139
No, I can't show you the monitor, but I can give you a clue.
140
You.
141
He was like, before, you didn't have two dots below your signature.
142
Now you have.
143
Why?
144
Why do I have two dots?
145
For extended pleasure, I have two dots.
146
I don't know why I have it.
147
I just like doing it.
148
That's my real sign and I sign whatever, I do, and I'm like, check it out.
149
Signature of a real jerk.
150
I'll tell you what, I copied it, I'll be honest.
151
I copied it from Amitabh Bachchan.
152
Amitabh Bachchan is a convert.
153
He's a left-hander, he converted a right-hand.
154
And if you see in KBC, he signs all these checks like, he bounces his pen.
155
In my case, the check also bounces, but like, how much can you copy?
156
Everything is going, man.
157
Handwriting is gone.
158
Signature is gone.
159
Attention is gone.
160
Don't you guys think so?
161
No. No?
162
Who said no?
163
You.
164
You have good attention.
165
You meditate and all.
166
That's nice man.
167
Why am I shitting on someone who's doing life well?
168
Oh, you have a good life or what?
169
No, no, I get so easily distracted, man.
170
Dude, I get distracted by the sound my phone makes when it's on silent mode.
171
My ears are tuned to
172
that The sweet sound of a mouthful of paan You know,
173
and you know what, it's worse than loud mode, okay?
174
Because at least in loud mode, every notification sounds different So you know what you're getting Here, everything, same sound Your girlfriend sends you a disappearing image?
175
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm Your relative passed away?
176
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Both very different feelings!
177
Both went away too soon, but very different!
178
No!
179
No!
180
No!
181
Shit!
182
It's just so bad man, But you know, I am such a hypocrite you know, Because I get so easily distracted,
183
But I expect 100 percent attention from people in front of me It's so bad, And it's not even a show setting right?
184
Like recently I was talking to a friend outside on the road and while I was talking to him, he looked at his watch.
185
A part of me dies.
186
I got angry at him.
187
I was like, why did I ask you the time?
188
Even if I asked, look at the sun and tell me.
189
Because no one looks at their watch when they're having fun, right?
190
No one is like, How much more fun can I have?
191
but I get it man, nobody like we all know the very fidgety we are like you look at your watch, check your food and all this
192
because you can't have a dull moment in your life anymore you just know
193
that there's a meme there
194
that can heal you that's how much content is there right now there's
195
so much content out there these days that
196
if you watch a reel right and you like it but you forget to like it It's gone, forever, never to be seen again.
197
It happened to me recently, I was watching a reel, hilarious reel.
198
It was two dogs were twerking and one turned back and winked at Neil.
199
I was about to like it but I got a phone call, I picked it up, came back, gone, reel is gone.
200
Now like a psycho, I'm searching for it on Google.
201
Have you seen the reel where there are two dogs twerking?
202
And one looks back and winks at me and Google is like, what a mental health professional is near me.
203
I'm like, no!
204
There's so much lack of attention these days, a lot of people think they have ADHD now.
205
Right?
206
ADHD, if you don't know, it is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
207
It's a mental condition where you can't pay attention to things, you lose focus very quickly.
208
It's also the mental condition that's in fashion right now.
209
Everybody likes to have it.
210
they watch a couple of freezes and they self-diagnose.
211
They're like, oh, me also?
212
I also start things and don't finish.
213
They're like, yeah, yeah.
214
That's a different disease.
215
That's not ADHD.
216
That's LAZY.
217
Relax.
218
But I don't know if you've noticed, every couple of years, a new mental condition comes in fashion.
219
Like, remember two years back when everybody, the whole world had OCD, remember that?
220
Everybody was like, oh, so much OCD.
221
Here I have OCD.
222
Every morning, I have to brush my teeth, I have OCD.
223
Dude, it became so fashionable that people started asking other people, What's your OCD?
224
What's your obsessive compulsive disorder?
225
It's like going to a cancer hospital and being like, Oh, which flavor cancer can...
226
You get it?
227
But mental conditions are coming in fashion, man.
228
The reason why it comes in fashion is very simple, right? because it's not physically, you can't spot it.
229
It's very easy to fake it.
230
If someone tells you that they have ADHD, you can be like, oh, where?
231
Oh, turn around.
232
Aha, there.
233
This is my ADHD.
234
So they take one symptom and they extrapolate that they have ADHD.
235
That's why you'll never see physical conditions come in fashion.
236
You'll never hear anybody going like, oh, I think I have rabies.
237
Why?
238
I'm thirsty, that's why.
239
But the biggest reason why You know, mental conditions come in fashion is because it's a very easy way for people to excuse their bad behavior.
240
You'll hear a lot of that.
241
You'll hear like, Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to return your call.
242
I have ADHD.
243
Like, ha ha ha.
244
Which D stands for dick in that?
245
No, I'm very passionate about ADHD because my girlfriend has ADHD.
246
She has the premium version, the good one.
247
Horrible condition to have.
248
I see her struggle with attention and focus every day.
249
Amazing condition to be in a relationship with.
250
Because I have the power to distract her at will.
251
We don't fight.
252
Any time a fight starts, I'm like, Aaaaah!
253
Just runs away like a cat.
254
I mean, it's a bug for her.
255
It's a feature for me.
256
Having a positive mindset.
257
I'll tell you, I'll give you another example.
258
Especially people with ADHD, they can't stop doomsdaying.
259
Any event, they always think of how many ways it can go wrong.
260
For example, if she helps me pack for a trip or something, even if it's a one-day trip, she'll pack as if on my way to the destination,
261
North Korea launches a nuclear strike and I have to be underground for two months.
262
I'm not even kidding, recently I had a one-day trip to Hyderabad and then I had a show over there.
263
I called her, I was like, you know, I have a headache, I have to go to the pharmacy.
264
And like a magician, she was like, check your bag, left pocket.
265
That's what them all is there.
266
And I was like, oh wow.
267
Actually, anyway, I have to go to the pharmacy, I had to buy a nail cutter.
268
Check your bag, right pocket.
269
Fifth army knife is there.
270
Actually, I had a bad show, I don't want to go back home.
271
Check your laptop compartment, rope and stool is there.
272
You have planned everything.
273
No, and it's good because I don't like packing.
274
Okay, I'm not a big fan of packing.
275
I hate it actually.
276
And not the physical act of it, the mathematics of packing I hate.
277
Like I'll give you an example.
278
Here one day in Mumbai I am, right?
279
For the last one week I was thinking how many underwear I should carry.
280
Simple, right?
281
One day trip means one underwear.
282
But now the overthinking starts, what if it starts raining?
283
Two underwear.
284
What if I decide to do the first ever split in my life?
285
Three underwear?
286
What if a friend asked me, Hey, can I have your underwear?
287
Four underwear?
288
Dude, if she's not in my life, I would have packed a bag with ten jockeys and a toothbrush and come like I'm a distributor.
289
They would have stopped me at the airport.
290
The bag would have gone through the X-Ray machine and come out to the other side.
291
I'd be like, what happened, sir?
292
They're like, you tell me what happened.
293
Explain the toothbrush actually actually
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אוצר מילים והערות הגייה לשיעור הזה
שיעור הדיבור הזה ברמה C1 מבוסס על הסרטון “I CAN'T CLOSE MY BANK ACCOUNT”. המילים שחוזרות הכי הרבה: sign, write, Adhd. בסרטון הזה יש 293 משפטים ו-2590 מילים לתרגול Shadowing. הדיבור נמשך 17:00. הדובר מדבר בקצב טבעי של כ-152 מילים בדקה, קרוב לשיחה יומיומית. רק 81% מהמילים נמצאות בין 3,000 המילים הנפוצות ביותר באנגלית, כך שאוצר המילים מאתגר. 63 מתוך 293 המשפטים שלו הם שאלות, כך שזה תרגול טוב לאינטונציה של שאלות ולתשובות קצרות.
אוצר מילים מרכזי בסרטון הזה
15 המילים המתקדמות ביותר בסרטון, עם ההגייה והמשמעות שלהן:
| מילה | הגייה | משמעות |
|---|---|---|
| handwriting שם עצם | /ˈhændɹaɪtɪŋ/ | כְּתָב יָד |
| underwear שם עצם | /ˈʌndɚˌwɛɹ/ | תַּחְתּוֹנִים |
| distract פועל | /dɪˈstɹækt/ | הסיח את הדעת |
| illiterate שם תואר | /ɪˈlɪtəɹət/ | אַנְאַלְפָבֵּית, אֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ צוּרַת א׳ |
| rupee שם עצם | /ɹuˈpi/ | רופי |
| toothbrush שם עצם | /ˈtuːθ.bɹʌʃ/ | מִבְרֶשֶׁת שִׁנַּיִם |
| wink שם עצם | /ˈwɪŋk/ | קְרִיצָה |
| elbow שם עצם | /ˈɛlboʊ̯/ | מַרְפֵּק |
| pharmacy שם עצם | /ˈfɑɹməsi/ | בֵּית מִרְקַחַת |
| appendage שם עצם | /əˈpɛndɪd͡ʒ/ | גַּף |
| diagnose פועל | /ˈdaɪ.əɡˌnoʊs/ | אבחן |
| doomsday שם עצם | /ˈduːmz.deɪ/ | יוֹם הַדִּין |
| hypocrite שם עצם | /ˈhɪ.pə.kɹɪt/ | צבוע \ צָבוּעַ |
| kidnap פועל | /ˈkɪdnæp/ | חטף |
| nostril שם עצם | /ˈnɒs.tɹɪl/ | נְחִיר |
Phrasal verbs שתשמעו
| מילה | הגייה | משמעות |
|---|---|---|
| come back פועל | שָׁב | |
| come out פועל | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | יָצָא |
| pass away פועל | נִפְטַר, הָלַךְ לְעוֹלָמוֹ | |
| run away פועל | בָּרַח |
משפטים שכדאי לחזור עליהם
משפטים קצרים ושלמים מהסרטון שאפשר להשתמש בהם בשיחה יומיומית:
- You know what I'm talking about?
- Aren't you happy that I've changed as a person?
- What if you're a fraud?
- Don't you guys think so?
- They're like, oh, me also?
דקדוק בסרטון הזה
המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:
| מבנה | בסרטון |
|---|---|
| משפטי תנאי (Conditional sentences) if + clause, will/would + verb — תנאי ותוצאה שלו | If you see my handwriting, you will guess · if I do a thumbprint, people will be · if I sign, people will be |
| הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו | I've reached · I've made · I've lost |
| סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה | be locked · is locked · are tuned |
הגייה ששווה לשים לב אליה
הדובר משתמש ב-87 קיצורים וצורות מקוצרות, כמו I'm, don't, you're. אמרו אותם בצורה הקצרה, כפי שאתם שומעים אותם.
- הצלילים של “th”: toothbrush /ˈtuːθ.bɹʌʃ/, mouthful /ˈmaʊθfʊl/, thirsty /ˈθɝs.ti/, thumb /ˈθʌm/
- הצלילים של “sh” ו-“zh”: toothbrush /ˈtuːθ.bɹʌʃ/, encryption /ɪnˈkɹɪpʃən/, fashionable /ˈfæʃənəbl̩/, ambition /æmˈbɪʃ.ən/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/
- מילים ארוכות — שימו לב להטעמה: illiterate /ɪˈlɪtəɹət/, ambidextrous /ˌæm.bɪˈdɛk.stɹəs/, extrapolate /ɛkˈstɹæp.əˌleɪt/, illiteracy /ɪˈlɪtəɹəsi/, inaugurate /ɪˈnɔ.ɡjə.ɹet/
צלילים שדוברי עברית מתקשים בהם:
- /w/ — שפתיים מעוגלות, לא /v/: underwear /ˈʌndɚˌwɛɹ/, twerk /twɜɹk/, wink /ˈwɪŋk/, weirdly /ˈwɪə(ɹ)dli/, wicket /ˈwɪkɪt/
- /æ/ — פתוח יותר מה-“אֶ” העברית, לא כמו “a” ב-“cup”: handwriting /ˈhændɹaɪtɪŋ/, hander /ˈhændə(ɹ)/, distract /dɪˈstɹækt/, ambidextrous /ˌæm.bɪˈdɛk.stɹəs/, embarrass /ɪmˈbæɹəs/
- /r/ — הלשון לא נוגעת בשום מקום, לא ה-“ר” הגרונית: handwriting /ˈhændɹaɪtɪŋ/, underwear /ˈʌndɚˌwɛɹ/, hander /ˈhændə(ɹ)/, reel /ˈɹiːl/, distract /dɪˈstɹækt/
איך לתרגל עם הסרטון הזה
- הקשיבו לכל הסרטון פעם אחת בלי לדבר, ורשמו את המילים שאתם לא מכירים.
- התחילו במהירות 0.75×, תרגלו Shadowing משפט אחר משפט, וחזרו למהירות רגילה כשזה מרגיש קל.
- הקליטו את עצמכם והשוו למקור, תוך תשומת לב למילים כמו handwriting, underwear, distract.
מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?
שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.