Shadowing Practice: The Top 10 Worst Decisions You Can Make in Your 20s - Learn English Speaking with Video
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your 20s are perhaps the most important years of your life it is a decade where you try
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and fail where notoriously people feel lost
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and unsure about what they want to do in their life
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and all of that i think is good and part of it
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but this video i want to talk about the 10 ways
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that you could really mess up your 20s
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that can hurt you down the line and i think the most obvious one
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that people most likely think of is you don't want to
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accidentally have a kid with some random girl that's not planned um you know
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that kind of goes without saying here i want to talk about 10 active decisions
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that you're doing on a consistent basis throughout your 20s
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and the first one has to be waiting to feel ready right
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because most people tend to delay everything in life
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because they they feel like they need to wait until they're confident
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and then they can start but that's not how life works.
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You try something, you're completely unsure of what you're doing, you learn from that failure, and then you just continue.
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You move forward, right?
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And you do this over and over again to where slowly
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but surely your confidence builds and so does your skill set along with it.
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And a lot of people, I feel like their 20s disappear while they're in this sort of preparing phase, right?
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There's a passage in the Bible that I love that says, the farmer that waits to cultivate his crops until the perfect season will never plant a seed
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it's so true i've experienced this in even like smaller pursuits
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that i've done in my life i'm sure you know the same thing to be true in your experience
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but you can waste years of your life overthinking very simple
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decisions you just need to don't overthink it just act and learn after
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the second biggest thing
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and this is really relatively new do not live your life
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mainly online social media will create this illusion of progress you know
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and an illusion of connection you think
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that you are you know a part of a community just
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because you can go online and you know find people
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that have similar interests as you now i'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing
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but you need to have there needs to be scarcity involved
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like you can't always be online on these sub forums
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or you know scrolling and thinking that you're a part of whatever it is
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because that is not real life there's something
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that i've talked about on my channel before called success porn and success porn is essentially where you are constantly consuming
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various types of media that makes you feel like you're going out there
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and you're working hard like maybe it's a creed edit
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or you're watching a video of david goggins
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and he's like you know whatever like cringy thing
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that he sort of says i don't hate on david goggins
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but you know whatever like motivational thing
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that he's saying it gets you amped it gets you going you see somebody that's doing something with their life
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and and trying something hard
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and you get literal dopamine rushes from watching someone else do something almost as
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if you're doing it yourself do not live entirely online many people they know how to perform a personality
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but they don't know how to live without it
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or like they don't know how to live like
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that without a screen so you know maybe online they're like super knowledgeable
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and they're good at talking and yada yada yada
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but then in real life these people are not walking the walk it's kind of like those dudes
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that give advice about about maybe like dating or woman
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but then in real life they never actually go out
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and anything because talk is cheap online
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so yeah do not stay online number three this is a
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huge one staying around people who kill your energy these are the negative nancies your environment shapes
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your standards and so negative lazy you know sort of cynical people
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normalize mediocrity and then you're gonna fall into line with that now i've also talked about this before,
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where I think that what you consume online is perhaps more important than the people that you hang out with.
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Cause the average person spends more time online scrolling than they do with their friends.
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So I think these go one in the same, that kind of goes back with the previous point that I made about living entirely online.
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You need to be very specific and have standards when it comes to who you're going to spend your time with, because some friendships are just mutual stagnation.
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And what I mean by mutual stagnation is like you live a certain life and maybe you, you don't feel so good about it.
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But if someone else lives that same life, then both of you guys are gonna be like, well, we're in this together.
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And that sort of makes me feel good enough to just keep this up.
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You want what's called the Michelangelo effect.
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The Michelangelo effect is when you believe in that person, they believe in you and you both uplift each other and you're both being positive.
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And it's Thank you.
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It's overall a net growth for both of you.
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You're both challenging each other, right?
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These, I call them energy vampires.
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There are people that literally have nothing going for them.
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And like I said before, they're cynical, they're negative, they're lazy.
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They just are trying to consume your energy because they lack it themselves.
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And these people will take you down.
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This is especially true with significant others.
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If you're looking for a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you need to make sure that this person is positive
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and uplifting and believes in you and you believe in them and that, you know, you're both fruitful to each other.
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This is very, very important.
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Another thing I think, um, my fourth point that's so important is one of the biggest mistakes is
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that people never question the life that they were told to want.
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So you have been conditioned by society, by your family, what's normal in your culture.
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to, as far as like, what career should you pursue?
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What's the type of life you want to live, right?
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Do you want to go to school, get an internship and get a nine to five and try to grow the, or, you know, climb up the corporate ladder.
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Do you want to go to school, but maybe you're not the smartest or like, that's just not your thing.
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And so you go into trades and you sort of try to build a business.
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You have to strip yourself of all the conditioning that you've been told.
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And that's basically been ingrained in you through the school system and through everything else and ask yourself, what do I really want out of life?
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Because, you know, it was, I believe it was Rockefeller.
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John D.
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Rockefeller was the founder of the board of education.
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And he is literally quoted saying, I'm in the business of building workers, not thinkers.
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School is designed to just breed like employees that are just like submissive to the system.
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You know, they just go along with what they're told.
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And so you have to question yourself.
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I recommend reading Nietzsche.
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I think he's probably one of the best philosophers for this.
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Although many, many philosophers talk about this idea, but Nietzsche like asks you not just as it relates to what you're doing with your life,
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but also your morals, like what you believe in.
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You might've heard of the Ubermensch, which is Nietzsche's idea of, you know, someone who self authors their morals and like what they want to do with their life.
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You need to ask yourself, do I want this thing or do I want other people to see me have it?
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Or do I want this thing?
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Or am I just told to want this?
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You actually ask yourself this question and be very serious with yourself.
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Because if you just sort of go with the flow, which is the path of least resistance, and no one's going to judge you for it, you might look back when you're 50 and be like,
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dude, I wish I would have tried at something
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that I was really passionate about i think this is such a big issue you know you can achieve everything
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that society told you and you can still want
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and still feel empty there's a book
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that i recommend it's a short story you could read it in like one
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or two sittings it's called the death of ivan illich
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if i'm pronouncing his last name right
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but it's by leo tolstoy one of the greatest uh russian classic authors of all time
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but this book is about this guy who is kind of on his deathbed
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and he has to come to terms with his life
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and by society standards you know he lived a good life he made money he contributed to society
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but at the end of the day he's like realizing
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that he did not live the life that he wanted to live at all
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and so because of this you know he felt regret
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and it was it was very hard for him to come to terms with death
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and facing this idea of dying in the life that he lived
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and so you have to truly question now while you're still young even
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if you're 40 years old i still want you to question even
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if you're 50 years old i still want you to question this
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because how do you know where you're going right like how do you know
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that that is what's right for you quick interruption here guys i am really excited to finally announce something
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that i've been working on for quite some time now
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so i get a lot of dms a lot of emails
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and i read the comments and i realize
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that a lot of my audience struggles with you know direction or clarity in life?
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Like, you know, how do I sort of improve my life and start, you know, progressing towards different goals that I have?
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This seems to be the number one issue.
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And so I created my own app.
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This is not sponsored.
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This is my own app that I've been working on for quite some time with a couple of friends of mine.
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It is called my future self.
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It is available in the app store.
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You can download it today.
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What this app does, as you know, the title suggests, it helps you to create your dream optimized version of yourself
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that you want to become in the future right it's a system where you put in your goals
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that optimize version of yourself and then it generates day -to -day tasks
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that you need to complete in order to get there
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and it's gamified you literally are going to every day have to check off the different tasks
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that you need to complete and it has like a progress bar.
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uh there's so much like that has gone into this this has been uh something
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that making for months now and i'm really really proud of it
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so if you guys want to support and
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if you also i i truly believe
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that this is great value i've been using this myself
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if you want to progress towards your goals and hey
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if you want to just support your boy out go check
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it out the link will be in the description uh the
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the fifth biggest mistake is i see this one way too
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often way too often especially this is happens a lot in colleges, like kids that are entering their early twenties, right?
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It's building your identity around validation, right?
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Trying to look successful becomes more important than actually becoming successful.
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Trying to look like you're, you enjoy your life is more important than actually enjoying your life.
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I made a video about this yesterday, but so many people are obsessed with the aesthetics of things with the status
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or like appearing as cool or nonchalant but at the end of the day
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when their head touches
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that pillow they're sitting there like man i'm not really satisfied
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i'm not really fulfilled i don't actually like my life
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but their instagram feed is curated with everything they could possibly
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want do not fall victim to this trap i beg you
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i beg you the coolest people i've ever met are the ones
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that oftentimes don't have any social media
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or they do they don't post on it they're not trying to prove to anyone anything they just live right so
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when you build your identity around validation what happens is you
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become a slave to the opinions of others you can't actually
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operate with with how you truly want also you can never be your your full truest version of yourself
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because whenever you are yourself naturally you're not going to fit in with the crowd
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because the crowd is just full of a bunch of fake people
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so they're going to despise you for being real
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and this just creates a recurring cycle where you feel rejected
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and yeah it sucks so don't build your identity around validation start making decisions not for approval
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but instead for meaning like actually think about the roi of what you're doing am i going to feel better
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because of this or am i not
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you know the sixth one of the the sixth biggest mistake excuse me is making comfort your main goal.
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It's weird.
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I feel like society is turning into this, like two polar opposites of the spectrum, right?
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Where the average person either has to make a choice between, do I want like maximum comfort?
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I'm going to eat junk food, you know, body positivity.
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I can look however I want.
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And it's just what makes me feel good in the moment.
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Or is it the other end, which is like the extreme, like gym bro, hustle culture, bro, like go a hundred percent into self -improvement
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and that's also a form of slavery because you become a slave to the improvement itself
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these things are both losing games but i think comfort is becoming increasingly more popular
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because what it happens it feels safe when you
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when you just want to feel comfortable you know you'll take the the corporate job
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because at least it pays the bills enough to where it's
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like hey rent's going to be paid for food's going to
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be paid for life is going to be all right but you know, avoiding difficulty, what I've recognized for myself, at least I can't talk on everyone's behalf,
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but it creates anxiety, not peace, right?
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You start to get really uptight about very small things.
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You start to freak out about going to the airport because you're like, Oh my gosh, what if it doesn't go this way?
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But the people that constantly are pushing themselves out of their comfort zone, that's a cake.
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That's a cakewalk.
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That's a walk in the park.
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So your twenties are probably the best time I would argue to go out
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and take a risk because your responsibilities are so much smaller.
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Like you don't have any real responsibilities in life and you're just sort of, you're, you're free, right?
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So you got to take those risks because you're also not a, uh, you know, a teenager where you still have to go to school and you still like are,
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are sort of the, these more formative years of your life where you're trying to figure out what you're going to be,
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you know, pursuing in your twenties.
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Although that question doesn't even get answered while you're in your twenties, but like these kids that are still going through school and stuff, you can't take as much risk, but once you're out of school and you can sort of do what you want with your life,
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boom, that's where, um, in my opinion, you just have the best opportunity to take risk.
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The, what is it?
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The seventh?
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Yeah, i think it's the seventh biggest mistake treating your body
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like garbage okay take can take care of your body control what you are consuming
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and your output right and this isn't just talking about the gym
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and junk food it's also like sleep deprivation it's also you
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know not moving in general constant simulation um i i think it's important to take care of your body
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because people act like health only matters when you're older
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but really your health as an older person is largely contingent upon how you treat yourself through your you know 20s
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up until you know maybe like 50s 60s right like how
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are you treating your body every day your mental state becomes heavily tied to your physical condition
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if you understand this you understand that you know you have to go out
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and put put in effort and like try things you know
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uh energy is one of the most underrated advantages in life it's this is how it works
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and i know this is going to make no sense
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but this has been my experience the more effort i give the more i get
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the more that i'm trying in like every day and going out
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and doing stuff the more energy i have to do things
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but in periods of time in my life where i haven't
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been um doing anything with my day i don't go out
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with friends i don't i i would hardly go to the gym
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or you know i've had these periods of time in my life
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and every one small thing becomes so much harder bro it becomes like 10 times harder just to,
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just to like go and finish a project for school when I'm not doing all these things.
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But then when I'm really busy, when I feel like I have so much stuff I'm doing out and about during the day.
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And then all I have is like, maybe like one or two hours at the end of the day, it's like, I can knock out like 20 homework assignments, back to back to back.
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And it's so much easier, right?
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So it's about momentum.
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And so understand that with energy.
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the eighth biggest issue
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that i see people run into is you don't learn how
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to be alone you don't learn how to live without distractions
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or without you know friends i listen i'm going to be
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honest i've mastered this guys i i think i've actually gone in too deep with this
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but learning how to be alone is so important
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because it teaches you who you truly are you know void
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of all of these external influences your friends the content you consume all that stuff i consider that um
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company like even though
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if you're not in the company of a person physically you can be with them online
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and that still is going to shape your mentality but
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if you can just meditate
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if you can just sit with your thoughts for 30 minutes an hour a day
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if you can just have the balls to face yourself
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and the issues that you're that are going on in your life you will be
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so much better for it you know people act like um relationships substances entertainment all of
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that stuff is just part of life which to some extent they're right
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but they think that it's normal and that
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because of it you don't have to force yourself to be alone
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because there's such a negative connotation
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or narrative around an isolated person like oh they're not going to be healthy
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but really that's where you fortify your mind that's where you establish like your true identity is by yourself
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and i've been really privileged to spend a lot of time alone
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and maybe too much to the point where that's like also caused me some mental health issues
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but at the end of the day when i go out
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and i do things i know who i am more
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so than the average person
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because the average person has just been does whatever uh the five people
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that they hang out with most do and they never thought of things.
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Maybe they just went to school, joined a frat, and then they don't think twice.
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They just become like their sorority sisters or their fraternity brothers.
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They're not actually thinking.
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Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing.
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You can be alone and not feel lonely.
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This is true.
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The ninth mistake that I see a lot of people make is thinking that you have unlimited time.
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In reality, would you rather travel in your 50s
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or in your 30s you'd probably rather travel in your 30s
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which means you're gonna have to work hard in your 20s
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to really enjoy things one of the biggest lies i see
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so many people say is you have so much time just just go out
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and try a bunch of different things because you have
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so much time you can fail well i agree with going out
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and trying different things but you don't have time
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because i don't even like like literally think about it like
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this woman can't really have kids beyond kind of like 35 to 40 range
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and so if you want to have kids it
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that that's a big step in your life it's like you have to get things figured out sooner versus later
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and so you don't really have time but even
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if you don't want to have kids it's like life is
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so much more enjoyable while you're young while you have less responsibilities
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while you are physically capable of like moving around doing these things
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and also you just have like i feel like young people have a better ability to handle the ups
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and downs of life because that's just like part of what it is to be young whereas
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when you're older you know events can have much more major psychological implications on you
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so yeah don't think that give yourself a narrative in your head
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that oh my gosh i have unlimited time because you don't you're quietly your 20s quietly build the trajectory of your 30s, 40s, and so on.
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So there's a quote that I really like that says, you don't figure out what people did in their twenties until they're 30, meaning like things compound over time.
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So your twenties are going to matter.
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And you're going to see the results of your twenties while you're, once you hit 30, you know, small daily choices compound massively over time.
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It's the law of accumulation.
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The small things that are shown up every day do matter.
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And the 10th biggest regret that I see people have, or the 10th biggest mistake I see people make is they just avoid meaningful work, right?
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If you hate your job, if you just constantly hate what you're doing, your life is going to be unfulfilling.
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Many people love to chase easy dopamine instead of difficult purpose.
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Like they, they like to go out to the bars.
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They, they drink, they vape, they do, you know, various indulgent behaviors that are hedonistic and they're not addressing meaning.
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And really what this is, is a distraction from facing themselves.
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But if you just face yourself and then you figure out what you want, it allows you to then pursue something more meaningful in your life.
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Deep work, of course, is going to feel harder now because everyone's attention span is damaged.
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But at the end of the day, the harder the work, the more meaningful it becomes.
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Fulfillment usually comes from mastery and not comfort so you know creating something meaningful is going to give your life structure
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there are obviously many other things
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but i hope you guys got something important out of this video um and
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if you want to support me definitely check out my new
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app my future self i think you guys will really like it thank you for watching
הורד אפליקציה
כל מה שאתה צריך כדי לדבר בשטף
הגיית AIציון לכל משפט
תרגול IPAשלוט בכל צליל
אוצר מיליםבנה את מאגר המילים שלך
משחק אוצר מיליםלמד תוך כדי משחק
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “The Top 10 Worst Decisions You Can Make in Your 20s”. This video has 313 sentences and 4086 words to shadow. The speech runs for 21:27. The speaker talks fast, about 190 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 88% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| consume verb | /kənˈsum/ | To use up. |
| meaningful adjective | /ˈmiː.nɪŋ.fl̩/ | Having meaning, significant. |
| yada | Only used in yada yada yada | |
| validation noun | /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/ | The act of validating something. |
| dopamine noun | /ˈdoʊ.pəˌmin/ | A monoamine C₈H₁₁NO₂ that is a decarboxylated form of dopa, present in the body as a neurotransmitter and a precursor of other substances including adrenalin. |
| optimize verb | /ˈɑptɪmaɪz/ | To act optimistically or as an optimist. |
| overthink verb | To think or analyze too much. | |
| stagnation noun | /stæɡˈneɪʃn̩/ | The state of lacking flow or motion, usually causing a lack of freshness or health; (countable) an instance of this. |
| cynical adjective | /ˈsɪnɪkəl/ | Of or relating to the belief that human actions are motivated only or primarily by base desires or selfishness. |
| philosopher noun | /fəˈlɑsəfɚ/ | A lover of wisdom. |
| unsure adjective | uncertain, ambivalent. | |
| distraction noun | /dɪsˈtɹæk.ʃən/ | Something that distracts. |
| scroll noun | /skɹoʊl/ | A roll of paper or parchment; a writing formed into a roll. |
| gosh | /ɡɑːʃ/ | A mild expression of surprise or enthusiasm. |
| illusion noun | /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/ | A distortion of sensory perception where real stimuli lead to a false or misleading impression of reality. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. |
| figure out verb | To come to understand; to discover or find a solution; to deduce. |
| check off verb | To mark items on a list (with a checkmark or by crossing them out) that have been chosen for keeping or removal or that have been dealt with (for example… |
| check out verb | To record the departure or withdrawal of someone or something (such as guests, employees, books, etc.). |
| do out verb | To decorate, tidy, or clean (a place). |
| go along with verb | To acquiesce to or comply with a proposal, despite lacking a desire or value for it. |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. |
| knock out verb | To strike or bump (someone or something) out. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- It's overall a net growth for both of you.
- You're both challenging each other, right?
- It's building your identity around validation, right?
דקדוק בסרטון הזה
המבנים שהדובר משתמש בהם הכי הרבה, עם המילים המדויקות מהסרטון:
| מבנה | בסרטון |
|---|---|
| הווה מושלם ממושך (Present perfect continuous) have/has been + -ing — פעולה שהתחילה בעבר ועדיין נמשכת עכשיו | i've been working · i've been using |
| הווה מושלם (Present perfect) have/has + past participle — פעולה שקרתה בעבר ועדיין יש לה חשיבות או השפעה עכשיו | i've experienced · i've done · i've talked |
| סביל (Passive voice) be + past participle — הדגש הוא על מה שקורה, לא על מי שעושה את הפעולה | were told · have been conditioned · you've been told |
| משפטי זיקה (Relative clauses) who / which + clause — מידע נוסף על אדם או דבר | people who kill · Ubermensch, which is · flow, which is |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 126 contractions and reduced forms, such as you're, don't, they're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: deathbed /ˈdɛθˌbɛd/, aesthetics /ɛsˈθɛt.ɪks/, ninth /naɪnθ/, eighth /eɪtθ/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, stagnation /stæɡˈneɪʃn̩/, distraction /dɪsˈtɹæk.ʃən/, gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, illusion /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/
- Long words — get the stress right: validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, philosopher /fəˈlɑsəfɚ/, unlimited /ʌnˈlɪm.ɪ.tɪd/, connotation /ˌkɑnəˈteɪʃən/, deprivation /ˌdɛp.ɹɪˈveɪʃən/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like consume, meaningful, yada.
מהי טכניקת השאדואינג?
שאדואינג היא טכניקת למידת שפה מבוססת מדע שפותחה במקור להכשרת מתורגמנים מקצועיים ופופולרית על ידי הפוליגלוט ד"ר אלכסנדר ארגואלס. השיטה פשוטה אך עוצמתית: אתה מקשיב לאודיו באנגלית ילידית וחוזר עליו בקול רם מיד — כמו צל העוקב אחרי הדובר עם עיכוב של 1–2 שניות בלבד. בניגוד להאזנה פסיבית או תרגילי דקדוק, שאדואינג מכריח את המוח והשרירים בפה לעבד ולשחזר דפוסי דיבור אמיתיים בו זמנית. מחקרים מראים שזה משפר משמעותית את דיוק ההגייה, האינטונציה, הקצב, הדיבור המחובר, הבנת השמיעה ושטף הדיבור — מה שהופך אותו לאחת השיטות היעילות ביותר להכנה לIELTS Speaking ולתקשורת באנגלית בעולם האמיתי.