शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Growing Up with An Abusive Father - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

You're saying that your father was mentally and physically abusive, He's slapping you around, he's bullying you and things like that.

Now, was that just with you?

Was that with everybody in the house, everybody in his life?

That's a fantastic question.

So when I was young, I'm an only child, it was just me and my mother.

And my father really enjoyed or seemed to get some sort of enjoyment.

out of beating and bullying and really actively targeting women.

I never saw his behavior or that behavior with a man.

So he knew the limits.

And when you started to stand up to him, it either got worse if he thought that he could if he could kind of beat you down or he would retreat.

So there was a there was a narcissism there.

When people read my memoir, they're like, do you know your dad was a psychopath?

I'm like, no, I just knew he was a jerk.

You know, You know, he's passed at this point, so luckily he's not impacting anybody else's life.

But abusers know the people that they can abuse pretty well, which is why a lot of times women aren't believed,

because from domestic abusers, the men who investigate don't see the behavior from the domestic abusers.

because they show it to the women.

And that's my opinion, everybody.

Don't get all up in the comments.

No, I mean, it sounds like classic bully behavior, though.

I mean, you said it perfectly, which is they know exactly...

who to target and who not to mess with.

And so what's your earliest memory of this behavior starting?

I mean, how old were you when you first started getting abused by your father?

You know what's interesting is that there is a Brutal memory.

I think, I mean, I know it was a toddler.

I know it was before my mother shot herself.

So I'm going to guess it's around three or four.

I really don't know.

But the memory that I actually, years in my 20s, I had an EMDR session to deal with this memory.

It was me standing at the top of the stairs.

My mother and father were arguing.

My father was downstairs.

My mother was upstairs.

and I planted myself at the top of the stairs.

You know, I was going to protect my mommy.

Excuse me, folks.

And I remember my father charged.

My father was six foot two, 230 pounds.

And I remember my father charging up the stairs.

And when he got to the top of the stairs, he grabbed my leg, dragged me down the stairs and threw me across the room so my head hurt.

My head hit the wall on the other side and I remember huddling as my mother was getting beaten upstairs.

And that memory in one of my MDMA sessions came up because

I had had this internal feeling my entire life that I was fundamentally a very mean person.

that i had to hide from people that i was a mean person

if only they got to know me they would know i was a mean person

and you know where that came from

It came from that little toddler huddling for her own survival downstairs and hurting while her mother was getting beaten.

Because what that little girl said to herself is, What an awful person you are that you aren't going to go help your mother.

you couldn't help your mother and you're hiding down here.

Like that's what that little girl, not in that language.

I'm obviously using adult language, but that's what that little girl internalized.

And I sound like I'm crying.

I'm so sorry.

I'm still getting over this cold.

But that's one of the early memories of the the heightened abuse.

That's not the getting slapped around, getting locked outside when there's a storm.

That's none of that stuff.

That's the first time I actively remember a really strong physical attack.

- Shh. So interesting.

Well, really quick, you said EMDR session.

Can you explain what that is?

Yeah.

So when I was in my 20s, I was lucky enough to have a fantastic friend who was going through a coaching, who was going through a therapist program.

She said, hey, there's this EMDR thing where basically a therapist.

I'm going to, and by the way, this is a level 100 explanation.

Sure, sure.

But what she did was she had me follow her finger and the rhythmic emotion in some way, shape or form.

Mm -hmm.

it didn't get rid of that memory it took the fear out of

that memory of my father coming up the stairs

because even in my 20s i was still having nightmares about it and that emdr session helped me

no longer fear that actual, like it stopped the nightmares.

I don't know how it did it.

It didn't deal with the rest of the trauma that was so deeply, deeply hidden.

I didn't even know that there was deep trauma at that time.

I didn't understand trauma.

I was just super thankful that the EMDR took the fear away from that particular memory.

So some kind of therapy, is that right?

Some type of methodology for helping you process memories?

Yeah, for trauma, like if you have EMDR, and I'm sorry, I don't know what it stands for.

But for people who have like, they suddenly, like they're kind of, they have a Dr. Crystal Fleming: solid life solid things going on throughout their whole life,

but then something really traumatic happens, you know car accident or attack or something of

that sort EMDR can be super EMDR therapy can be super helpful for some folks.

I'm looking here, it says eye movement desensitization and reprocessing psychotherapy treatment

that is designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories.

Yeah, there you go.

But it's very interesting to hear the way you reacted, especially, we're talking three or four years old.

Obviously, you didn't think what you.. just expressed in those words.

But when I think about situations like that, I mean, we're all different and we all react to situations in the same way.

And what I would imagine is a feeling of helplessness.

But what I'm hearing from you is even if you did feel that, the main feeling or reaction to that situation was,

"I'm a bad person because I'm not out there helping somebody else." When we are,

here's what I've learned through years of therapy is that when we are little, and this is universal.

We are the center of our own universes.

We are the sun.

And so anything that happens has to be because of us.

A toddler cannot comprehend that its caregiver is dangerous because then what does a toddler do?

It can't get away.

100

So it's kind of like human programming that it's all about me.

101

And so instead of me as a toddler saying, my father is really damaged.

102

He's the one who's bad here.

103

I'm fine.

104

I'm just trying to survive.

105

The toddler voice is, there is something wrong with me.

106

Look at me.

107

I'm not even trying to help anymore because I got hurt.

108

Right.

109

And those feelings of I'm not enough, I'm a mean person.

110

They followed me.

111

And my therapist likes to use the line that we are all children wrapped up in adult layers, because usually when you start to talk to somebody,

112

you will eventually get to some form of

113

"I'm not good enough," or "I'm too much," and it all stems from when we were little kids

114

And MDMA therapy lets you take those memories from toddler age.

115

to late 40s, look at those memories and go, hey, wait a minute.

116

It wasn't that I was a mean person.

117

I was trying to survive.

118

He could have killed me.

119

You know, so you get to change the perspective.

120

I mean, if you really think about how much of our decisions

121

and our lives are based on opinions of ourselves that were created when we are toddlers,

122

I think a lot of people should be getting psychedelic assistance, psychotherapy to change some of those things.

123

those opinions.

124

100%.

125

Yeah.

126

I mean, it's hard to even imagine what that type because you're talking about regular views.

127

We're not just talking about one event.

128

That was just the first one you remember.

129

It sounds like throughout your whole life.

130

this was a reoccurring theme just with your dad.

131

Then on your mother's side, you said she was clinically depressed.

132

and routinely try to take her own life.

133

And your earliest memory of this is at five years old, And she's trying to take her own life with the shotgun and survive.

134

Now, was this something that you saw with your own eyes or how did this go down?

135

Well, I didn't know it at the time, but my mother had already tried to slit her wrist.

136

She had already tried to OD on drugs.

137

Her arms were kind of a lesson in how not to kill yourself because I learned that You know,

138

slanting a certain way doesn't really do it, but whatever.

139

My father and I had come home from somewhere

140

and I ran upstairs to go see mommy and mommy was laid out in the master bedroom's bathroom.

141

And, you know, memories are kind.

142

All I really remember is her on the floor and kind of like red on her belly.

143

what I remember much more is

144

so it's almost like things stop like i don't have a memory past seeing that but the next memory is

145

i'm somehow at the neighbor's house looking i'm at the door

146

of the neighbor's house watching my mother being put into an ambulance and that feeling of I'm alone.

147

That feeling of like, you know, you're at a party, and maybe your parents ran late and the parents are already cleaning up the party

148

and you're the only kid that's left and you really don't belong.

149

that was that feeling on steroids.

150

That's what I remember most from that.

151

Like I was I didn't have a home anymore.

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संदर्भ और पृष्ठभूमि

यह वीडियो एक व्यक्ति के अनुभव को साझा करता है, जिसने अपने पिता के साथ बचपन में मानसिक और शारीरिक दुर्व्यवहार का सामना किया। वह बताता है कि उसके पिता ने न केवल उसे, बल्कि उसकी माता को भी बिना किसी कारण के शिकार बनाया। बचपन से ही यह व्यक्ति अपने पिता की नकारात्मकता और हिंसा का सामना करता रहा, जिससे उसकी मानसिक स्थिति पर गहरा असर पड़ा। यह कहानी न केवल भावनात्मक है, बल्कि यह एक बहुत ही महत्वपूर्ण मुद्दे को भी उजागर करती है – समाज में दुर्व्यवहार को पहचानना और उसके खिलाफ खड़े होना।

दैनिक संचार के लिए शीर्ष 5 वाक्यांश

“तुम्हारे पिता ने तुम्हें कैसे प्रभावित किया?” - यह सवाल यह समझने में मदद करता है कि किसी के व्यक्तिगत अनुभव उस पर कैसे असर डालते हैं।
“क्या आपने कभी उसके खिलाफ खड़े होने की कोशिश की?” - यह प्रश्न संघर्ष और साहस को दर्शाता है।
“आपकी माता के प्रति जो हुआ, उसके बारे में आप क्या सोचते हैं?” - यह सवाल स्थिति की गंभीरता को सामने लाता है।
“क्या आपने अपने बचपन की यादों को कभी साझा किया?” - यह भावनात्मक स्थिति को व्यक्त करने का एक तरीका है।
“क्या आप अब उस अनुभव से आगे बढ़ पाए हैं?” - यह भविष्य की आशाओं और सुधार की दिशा में संकेत देता है।

स्टेप-बाय-स्टेप शैडोइंग गाइड

वीडियो की सामग्री को समझने और उससे सीखने के लिए shadowspeak तकनीक का इस्तेमाल किया जा सकता है। यहाँ एक साधारण गाइड है जिससे आप इस वीडियो की बातचीत को बेहतर तरीके से समझ सकते हैं:

पहला चरण: वीडियो को ध्यान से सुनें। शुरुआत में किसी विशेष वाक्यांश या विचार पर ध्यान दें।
दूसरा चरण: संवाद के प्रत्येक हिस्से के बाद रुकें और अपने आप को उस हिस्से को बोलते हुए रिकॉर्ड करें। यह shadow speech प्रैक्टिस में मदद करेगा।
तीसरा चरण: अपने बोले गए वाक्यांशों की तुलना मूल संवाद से करें। यह आपको अपनी उच्चारण और लय में सुधार करने का मौका देगा।
चौथा चरण: दुर्व्यवहार के अनुभवों पर बात करने वाले वाक्यांशों को दोहराएँ। ऐसे वाक्यांशों के प्रति संवेदनशील रहते हुए उनका अभ्यास करें।
पाँचवाँ चरण: बातचीत के भावनात्मक पहलुओं पर ध्यान दें। शब्दों के भावार्थ को समझने में आपका यह प्रयास महत्वपूर्ण होगा।

इस प्रक्रिया के दौरान, अपने अनुभवों को साझा करें और अपने विचारों को प्रकट करें। यह न केवल आपकी इंग्लिश स्पीकिंग SKills को सुधारने में मदद करेगा, बल्कि आपको भावनात्मक रूप से भी सशक्त बनाएगा। याद रखें, निरंतर अभ्यास से ही आप shadowspeaks की कार्यविधियों में महारत हासिल कर सकते हैं।

इस वीडियो का व्याकरण

वक्ता जिन संरचनाओं का सबसे अधिक प्रयोग करता है, वीडियो के असली शब्दों के साथ:

संरचना	वीडियो में
Passive voice be + past participle — ज़ोर इस पर कि क्या होता है, न कि कौन करता है	aren't believed · is designed · is really damaged
Relative clauses who / which + उपवाक्य — व्यक्ति या वस्तु के बारे में अतिरिक्त जानकारी	well, which is · men who investigate · perfectly, which is

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग तकनीक: पूरी चरण-दर-चरण गाइड पढ़ें →

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: Growing Up with An Abusive Father - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

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इस वीडियो का व्याकरण

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?