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1
DADDY CLAY
2
Okay, you guys gonna ask why I look so down or what?
3
Sorry dude, I thought that was your gaming face.
4
Yeah, mine looks like a lonely widow looking out at the waves that claimed her sea captain husband.
5
Mine's like halfway between a sneeze and a belch.
6
Are you gonna ask me or not?
7
Oh, sorry, yes.
8
What's wrong?
9
You wouldn't understand.
10
Okay then.
11
I'm just kidding.
12
We're here for you, dude.
13
The only woman I've spoken to in the last six months was a farmer's daughter who wanted me to retrieve her goat.
14
Sounds like you can milk that situation.
15
It was in the video game we're playing.
16
Oh.
17
Did you find the goat belt?
18
That's not the point!
19
Instead of living my life, all I do is wasted online raiding orc villages with a couple of juvenile dwarfs.
20
Hey!
21
Ghisli and Tarkin were very useful in the last raid.
22
They just need to get more XP's.
23
I meant you two.
24
Oh!
25
If I wasn't such a neutral good character, I would push you into that lava pit and steal your loot!
26
I could start a new character and be your girlfriend in the game.
27
A dwarf and an elf can't be in love.
28
It goes against the lore.
29
Besides, I've already seen the woman of my dreams.
30
I looked
31
everywhere for her, but she was gone.
32
She was the one.
33
Dude, you know how people say there's only one love in their life?
34
And that if they'd never met them, they'd have been alone and sad forever?
35
Yeah.
36
That's because they're married to them and it would be very expensive to say otherwise.
37
Well, what am I supposed to do?
38
You have not interacted with a female player for.. ever.
39
Meet the love of your life.
40
Download our new app now.
41
It's a sign.
42
No, it's a cynical ad aimed at desperate people.
43
But let's be honest.
44
They fit their target.
45
Well, give it a try.
46
Trowler?
47
Oh, I've heard of this.
48
It's called trawler.
49
Trawler?
50
Why?
51
I get it.
52
It's because there's plenty of fish in the sea and you won't catch a fish with...
53
No, no, no. And you need the net to catch.
54
And you need the net to...
55
Okay, you're gonna need a good photo if you wanna stand out.
56
This internet dating thing lacks romance.
57
I always thought that I would meet my girlfriend by bumping into her and accidentally switching grief cases.
58
Or she runs me over with her pickup truck and
59
while I'm lying in the road she gives me CPR and
60
when I come round she wipes away the dribble and we share a passionate kiss.
61
How about prison?
62
You got a rom-com scenario for that?
63
Why?
64
You look like the kind of guy who loves taxidermy and long walks in the dark.
65
It's cause they're the wrong angle for a selfie.
66
Everyone looks awful from underneath.
67
You need to go high.
68
Look.
69
Ugly.
70
Pretty.
71
See?
72
I guess we're gonna have to do what every teenager does on the internet.
73
Filter and crop. And voila!
74
Balance asking me to write a bio.
75
How would you describe my financial situation?
76
Tragic?
77
It also wants to know my hobbies.
78
Well?
79
I like cheese and internet memes.
80
That's gonna be hard, Sal.
81
Why, how would you describe me?
82
I'm a school janitor who mops the bathroom and serves slop in the cafeteria for less than minimum wage.
83
Just embellish the truth.
84
Like, uh, I work for a non-profit organization that saves children from squalor, disease, and starvation.
85
Okay, so here's how it works.
86
I get profiles of girls located in the same town, and I slide down when I see the one I like.
87
If she does the same, we get to chat.
88
It looks like a puppet made out of me!
89
Her hair looks like it's made out of lots of little hairs!
90
And what's wrong with her hands?
91
Aw, dude, she's got five fingers!
92
Slide up, slide up!
93
Now we're talking!
94
Should I slide down?
95
No, dude.
96
You need to check out the market before you park it.
97
Too tall.
98
Too small.
99
Too average-sized.
100
Aren't they gonna feel bad being rejected?
101
Nah, it's all virtual.
102
No one actually gets hurt.
103
Are you sure we're not being too picky?
104
You tell me.
105
This one just sent a picture of her new tattoo of Rocky's face.
106
On her face.
107
Oh, slide up.
108
Ooh, what about this one?
109
Ah, she likes me.
110
She said, hey, what do I say?
111
Quick, I need a pickup line!
112
Oh, uh, how about, hey girl, did you know that when you're in love your heart burns up to 100 calories per hour?
113
Wanna go for a workout?
114
Yes, great!
115
Type exactly what we said. And send.
116
Are you calling me fat?
117
Uh, no, no, no. Say, I just met, was your dad a baker?
118
She says why, because it looks like I only eat cake.
119
No, I was gonna say because you look very sweet.
120
Now you press send too early.
121
Try!
122
You could stop track.
123
I get it, because I'm such a car crash.
124
No, because people would stop to look at you!
125
Try, was there an earthquake, or did you just walk into the room?
126
Because you rocked my...
127
Stop pressing send too early, you dork muffin!
128
Wait, did you just...
129
Was there an earthquake, or did you just walk into the room, you dork muffin?
130
What is wrong with you?
131
Okay, okay, I'm trying, but you're going too fast.
132
In case you haven't noticed, it's kind of hard to text with these.
133
Ugh, I give up.
134
It's like my mom always says.
135
Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.
136
What?
137
I have a face only a mother could love.
138
Yeah, well, your mom is so nasty she bit a dog and gave it rabies.
139
You're still typing, aren't you?
140
Yeah.
141
On the plus side, you've got another hit.
142
Ah!
143
Okay, this one just has a picture of a white mask.
144
Pick-up line?
145
Are you a combination of my recent memories and my childhood traumas?
146
Because girl, you are a dream.
147
What?
148
That's what dreams are.
149
Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.
150
Oh! So?
151
She rejected you.
152
Ugh, finding love on the internet is like spray cheese.
153
It might taste like cheese, but it's really bad for your self-esteem.
154
What happened to finding love the romantic way?
155
Like looking at each other across a crowded room at a party neither of you are enjoying?
156
Or chasing after someone before they board their flight and disappear forever?
157
That only happens in the movies.
158
Much you would know if you could get a date to go to the cinema with.
159
Dude, what did you say the girl of your dreams looks like?
160
Like my soulmate.
161
Ah!
162
This hurt the door for them all!
163
Puppet victory dance!
164
Time to slide down because things are lurking up!
165
Wait.
166
What?
167
You just slid up.
168
What are you- What?
169
How?
170
I was hoping to get flat!
171
The picture was toward me!
172
You slid the wrong way, man!
173
We'll slide it back!
174
You can't!
175
That's how it works!
176
If you slide up, it's over!
177
She's gone.
178
Yeah.
179
Huh?
180
If she popped up on that phone, it means she's still in town.
181
Rocky, it's time for romance.
182
Huh?
183
Out of the way!
184
Move!
185
What is wrong with you?
186
We're trying to find the love of his life before she disappears forever!
187
Well, if it's in the name of love, then...
188
What does she look like?
189
I saw her at the house with all of them.
190
Thank you.
191
We need to see your medical records!
192
Are you crazy?
193
That's illegal!
194
It's in the name of love!
195
Well, if it's in the name of love, then...
196
Her name is Bridie.
197
She lives in the suburbs with her parents, and she was born with three ears.
198
Ah, but you got one surgically removed.
199
Meh.
200
Help, thief!
201
Don't worry, it's in the name of love!
202
Well, if it's in the name of love, then...
203
Wait, that car looks faster.
204
Driving!
205
What do you want?
206
Uwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
207
Upstairs, second on the left.
208
Ah!
209
Ah!
210
Ah!
211
Ah!
212
No worries.
213
Ah?
214
Ah!
215
Ah!
216
Ah!
217
Ah!
218
What are you doing here?
219
He's been chasing you since you lovingly locked eyes at the mall, before you disappeared into the crowd.
220
He's been on a quest to find you all day.
221
He pushed babies to the floor.
222
He stole your medical record.
223
He jacked a car.
224
And ran over your dad when he stood between you.
225
All in the name of love!
226
That sounds a little like child bullying, breach of privacy, Grand Theft Auto, battery and stalking.
227
Let me rephrase that.
228
That's exactly what it is!
229
And for the record, we did not block eyes lovingly.
230
And why did you hit him up on Trawler?
231
Because the creepy guy standing in my bedroom looks nothing like this!
232
Wait!
233
Wait, after everything you've been through to find me, I can't just let you walk away. So...
234
AHHHHH!
235
Thanks man, it's not the same, but it'll do for now.
236
Are you guys having problems with the Wi-Fi as well?
237
I don't know, but I've been waiting for this video to load for ages.
238
What?
239
Sorry, we're so dependent on the internet that our brains literally can't function without it.
240
So, do you have a problem with the Wi-Fi or not?
241
Well, I...
242
Come on!
243
Sorry, I'm just really confused by Dad.
244
Hast thou, Fehrims, encountered trouble with the sacred thread of communion?
245
I'm in character!
246
I'm a dark elf!
247
I was in the middle of a raid on a dwarf burial ground.
248
So, do you have Wi-Fi or what?
249
No, the Internet's down.
250
I knew this day would come.
251
Kids, there's something I have to tell you.
252
You're not my father?
253
How did you guess?
254
No, we've just been using Robinson's Wi-Fi for years.
255
That would explain why the network is called Get Off My Landwatterson.
256
Yeah, well, when he asked me to help him set up his Internet, I kind of grabbed the opportunity to...
257
Mooch off it?
258
Mr. Dad, how could you?
259
Easy!
260
You just turn it on, choose a passcode, and...
261
Oh, you meant in a moral sense.
262
Well, Mr. Robinson must have finally got wise and changed the code.
263
No problemo.
264
We'll just get some Wi-Fi of our own.
265
Excuse-o, little burrito.
266
It's mucho problemo.
267
You see, we got bad credito.
268
Why do you think we have a coin-operated fridge?
269
What are we gonna do without the Internet?
270
Wait!
271
I remember something.
272
Something from a time long forgotten.
273
A mystical repository of long lost knowledge, which the ancient people called a boo-in.
274
Are you trying to say book?
275
Exactly!
276
A buke.
277
Entertain me!
278
Hmm.
279
It's not touch sensitive and it looks like a double keyboard with the letters all messed up.
280
What is wrong with you?
281
It's like you've only got one neuron left and you're using it for stupidity.
282
It's because we don't have to retain any knowledge.
283
It's always readily available online.
284
Well, I guess you'll just have to take what the internet does and do it yourselves.
285
Hmm...
286
Dude, I think I found a way to reproduce the Elmoreflix experience.
287
Now we can get back to looking at thumbnails for hours without actually watching anything.
288
Well, in that case, you may also like...
289
Plung!
290
What's that?
291
Your inbox!
292
Ah, cute!
293
It's like the little email icon.
294
Hey, look who got stuck in a lawn chair.
295
He had to drive to the hospital to get it removed!
296
Did you know that you copied Mr. Dad in your email?
297
Oh no!
298
How?
299
Blum!
300
Hey, maybe you should just email him to apologize.
301
Nah, this manual email is way too complicated.
302
Yeah, much easier to bounce digital messages from server to server between interlinked computers.
303
What about Mr. Dad, though?
304
Did you get those pictures of that guy stuck in a launcher?
305
What a fool!
306
You know what I miss most about the Internet?
307
Your royal Nigerian pen pal?
308
Yeah, him too, but I meant playing online with other nice kids from all over the world.
309
Say cheese, cause you're about to get your ketchup!
310
Oh yeah?
311
Well I hope you like the taste of your own butt, because that's what you're getting handed for dinner!
312
Hey, have you ever noticed that if you say, I'm gonna insert made up verb, your insert made up noun, everything sounds like a really rude alien insult?
313
Like, I'm gonna stibernize your thrusters!
314
I'm gonna gallifract your conatron!
315
I'm gonna cryptify your proto-eggs with this word!
316
Xenopus!
317
It's a type of frog.
318
Score's 32.
319
The insults are on point, but the gameplay is boring and the graphics are terrible.
320
Hmm?
321
I bought these ping pong balls two months ago and was shocked when they turned into small chickens.
322
I have to say they don't function as well as the more common ping pong balls
323
and it is very hard to give backspin to a chicken.
324
What is this?
325
Very disappointing.
326
I purchased this sled hammer to enjoy the snowy slopes of Vermont and only managed to slide a couple of inches.
327
I would not purchase again.
328
What the hashtag dollar sign at sign asterisk is going on here?
329
This tank is completely unsuitable for modern warfare.
330
Though the glass panels provide a wide field of vision, I worry my fish will be exposed to enemy fire.
331
Duff, Larry's coming.
332
Nah, it's fine.
333
The beauty of trolling is that you're anonymous.
334
You want us in the band?
335
Thank you for shopping at Food and Stuff.
336
Don't worry.
337
All I have to do is change my IP address.
338
Ow.
339
You reboot your router. Did it work?
340
No, I still remember my name.
341
Maybe we just move on.
342
Gumball just checked into the cafeteria!
343
What are you doing?
344
Exactly what I do on M4 Plus.
345
What?
346
Looking at people's pictures and being jealous of their lives?
347
What was that?
348
LMBO.
349
Laughing my butt off?
350
You forgot the laughing bit.
351
Nah, no one really laughs on the internet.
352
They just go...
353
I am walking to a table!
354
Hey, look at my food!
355
Look at it!
356
You like it!
357
You like my face?
358
Hashtag no filter!
359
Come on, give me a thumbs up!
360
Dude, he doesn't have thumbs.
361
I'll try something else.
362
This boy was diagnosed with a rare condition.
363
One like equals one prayer.
364
Ignore if you don't care about his pain.
365
Maybe he's not online.
366
Let's poke him!
367
Look!
368
I don't feel like...
369
Dude, you have to type or we don't know what you're saying.
370
Look, I don't feel like goofing around today.
371
My grandma's really sick.
372
Aww, I like that.
373
What do you mean you like it?
374
Sorry, man, there's no button to express sympathy without having to do all that typing.
375
I mean, after all, we're only Elmore Plus friends.
376
That's it!
377
I'm deleting you from my friends list!
378
How do you delete someone in real life?
379
I suggest we run before it works it out.
380
What are you guys up to?
381
We're crowdfunding to pay for our own internet.
382
I think you mean you're begging.
383
No, it's not begging if you offer perks.
384
What perks?
385
For $1, you get a verbal thank you.
386
For $10, you get a smile and a warm feeling in your heart.
387
Yeah, that's begging.
388
And I ease!
389
We really need that Wi-Fi back.
390
Dad usually looks online for tips on raising kids, but now he has to improvise.
391
Mom said I have to take you to the park.
392
You're gonna have to hack Mr. Robinson to get the password.
393
How?
394
I left instructions for you! Where?
395
Check your box drop!
396
What's a box drop?
397
What is this place?
398
This is cyberspace, Darwin.
399
Better switch to incognito mode so the cyber police can't trace us.
400
Who's that?
401
Probably a fellow hacker.
402
We should greet him in a friendly fashion.
403
This is Robinson's house.
404
Ah!
405
This is denied!
406
How did we get in?
407
NIE says we need to find a back door.
408
You gotta hand it to Mr. Robinson.
409
He keeps a tidy desktop.
410
Look!
411
He left a window open!
412
Almost there! Do something! Do something useful!
413
Oh, sorry.
414
Next time's the window!
415
It's not working!
416
Oh, hold on.
417
Sorry, buddy.
418
I should've known that clicking faster never works.
419
What's that?
420
The firewall!
421
Quick!
422
We don't have much time before someone spots us!
423
What do we do?
424
We're gonna have to use a Trojan force.
425
I have trouble seeing how this will save us from being detected.
426
The antivirus! Where?
427
There!
428
Quick!
429
Let's hide in one of these folders!
430
We won't fit!
431
We can compress our files.
432
I think our files got corrupted.
433
What?
434
Control Z.
435
Too far.
436
Control Y.
437
Now for Anaisa's next step.
438
We need to get Mr. Robinson to accept cookies.
439
Nothing's happening.
440
Maybe because he's in sleep mode.
441
Let's try a worm.
442
Guys, what are you doing?
443
Hacking Mr. Robinson, like you said.
444
I meant hack his computer, not his face.
445
What exactly have you been doing this whole time?
446
How do you do, good sir?
447
The antivirus!
448
Yeah, well, you should have been more specific.
449
Let me in.
450
That's weird.
451
He never changed his password.
452
Wait a minute.
453
The Wi-Fi isn't down.
454
He's using all of it up with all these stupid toolbars.
455
Well, fix it then, quick!
456
I need more time.
457
I got this.
458
All I have to do is hack into the mainframe with just power options and put it to sleep.
459
What?
460
Oh, that was less stupid than I thought it was gonna be.
461
Eh, eh, eh, eh.
462
Eh, eh, eh.
463
Yay!
464
The Avery Head is back!
465
We can get back to refusing invites from obscure relatives to play lame games on Elmore Plus.
466
Reposting someone's original content in which I think it's ours.
467
And correcting people's grammar in their Elmore stream comments.
468
Anybody got a quarter for the electric meter? Did anyone order anything?
469
Nah.
470
This was the credit card company's answer when I asked if I could order things online.
471
It's been like that for three days.
472
I think they're working in shifts.
473
Well, it was delivered to our door, so...
474
Opening other people's mail is a crime.
475
Why is there always a law against everything I want to do?
476
Because the last thing you wanted to do was move into the supermarket so you could eat for free.
477
Uh, if the food enters your body and exits it while it's still in the supermarket, it's technically not stealing.
478
Hmm.
479
Come on!
480
Am I the only one who wants to open the box?
481
Opening other people's mail is like staring at the sun.
482
The more people tell you you shouldn't do it, the more you just gotta...
483
Richard, we're over here.
484
Oh yeah, sorry.
485
Now kids, there's plenty of fun things we could do to take our mind off opening the box.
486
Just think outside the box.
487
Play some music on the boombox.
488
Maybe go watch a boxing match or just open the box for the box!
489
Open the box!
490
Wait, I think I know what it is.
491
It's a teleportation gun.
492
How could you possibly know what a fictional object sounds like?
493
Uh, what does a laser sword sound like?
494
Case closed!
495
Box open!
496
We're not opening it.
497
Oh, come on!
498
Think about how this could benefit society and enrich our lives.
499
Gumball, I told you to take out the garbage.
500
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this.
501
Speak for yourself.
502
Hi, Mom!
503
What are you doing?
504
I just found a way!
505
Go avoid walking!
506
Are you sure that thing is safe?
507
I think so!
508
What makes you say that?
509
Uh, probably that weird thing on your nose.
510
It seems teleportation is dangerously affecting your DNA.
511
So you're saying I'm getting superpowers?
512
Mmm, no, that's a rather specific interpretation of what I just said.
513
But you're not saying that I won't.
514
Indeed.
515
But I would say there is a 99.9% chance you will
516
turn into a cyst-like pile of flesh with tongues where there shouldn't be tongues.
517
Oh, er, right.
518
I-I understand.
519
Good.
520
Finally.
521
So, you're saying there's a 0.01% chance that I could get superpowers!
522
Hey dude!
523
Whoa!
524
Looks like you've been teleporting a lot.
525
Whoa!
526
What's that?
527
I've been trying to get superpowers.
528
I wanted to fly so I took a bird through the portal, but instead now I can lay eggs.
529
Then I tried to get invisibility, so I took a chameleon through, and now I can lay chameleon eggs.
530
And then I tried to get super jump, so I took a frog through hand.
531
Now you can lay...
532
Yeah, so I decided to take something that couldn't lay eggs and tada Ah, a laser pointer.
533
Did it work?
534
You sure did.
535
Check this out.
536
Laser vision!
537
Oh great now I can see exactly where you're looking
538
But maybe you should focus some of your efforts on the
539
aesthetic side of superheroes You know maybe look a little less like That You're right.
540
I need to merge with something that looks super cool Okay, wait a minute.
541
I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking.
542
Please do.
543
Are you gonna finish that fictional food that's on your plate?
544
What?
545
No!
546
Why did you choose to merge with a cockroach?
547
Just imagine what I could do with the powers of a nuclear-resistant parasite.
548
Repel girls even more.
549
I still don't know what it is, but I know what I wish it was.
550
Woo!
551
We're rich!
552
We never have to worry about the end of the month again!
553
I could get a submarine to school every day!
554
But there's no water between here and school.
555
We'll buy some!
556
Exactly!
557
I can finally call myself retired instead of unemployed!
558
Come on, let's go!
559
Mom, where are you taking us?
560
You see, such a large amount of cash is bound to belong to somebody shady, and it's very likely to send someone to retrieve it.
561
Wait!
562
So now we're on the run from a hitman?
563
Exactly! So now
564
we have to live every day like it's our last?
565
Yes, but isn't that a good philosophy to have?
566
Carpe diem!
567
Run!
568
Come back!
569
Run!
570
I think I know how he's tracking us.
571
I'm sorry.
572
I'm just so scared.
573
What the?
574
Not bad.
575
There must be some bad of tracking advice with the money.
576
My employers will never give up.
577
There will be another man after me, then another, and another after that.
578
You will never find peace.
579
Yes, but we're millionaires.
580
You will never get back to your old life.
581
You will be hunted.
582
Hunted millionaires.
583
You will never be able to trust anyone.
584
You will be fugitives.
585
Fugitive millionaires.
586
I agree with Mom on one thing.
587
What's inside this box is clearly evil.
588
What?
589
Why?
590
Because history has proven that mysterious containers always bring misery.
591
Pandora's box.
592
The Lost Ark?
593
That six-month-old takeout box at the back of the fridge?
594
My point is, what if this box was never meant to be opened?
595
What if it was?
596
It's been seven weeks since the infection began and I...
597
...I'm still up without a cure.
598
They've taken over everything.
599
Our infrastructure has collapsed.
600
The people are on their own.
601
Hello!
602
You have reached the mailbox of...
603
Police Station.
604
All our officers are busy consuming the flesh of the living at the moment, so please take the law into your own needs.
605
Oh, wait up!
606
Ah, cool.
607
Most of the population is now contaminated.
608
Those that haven't transformed yet were already zombies anyway.
609
The world as we know it is coming to an end.
610
If only I'd known how the virus got out, maybe the infection could have been prevented.
611
Coming in all stars!
612
Woo!
613
Squirt gun!
614
We have to destroy that box.
615
I'm sure it's something perfectly normal.
616
Exactly.
617
Like an accordion made out of bread, or a remote controlled trumpet.
618
Uh, what?
619
Yes?
620
Laser Recycling!
621
The scientists have inserted an implant allowing you to use the capacities of your brain at 100%, making you the ultimate weapon.
622
We will now erase your memory and place you under a false identity until it is time for your mission.
623
Your activation code word is...
624
Lazarus.
625
Your mission is to save the president.
626
Please hang up.
627
This phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
628
Mr. President, are you okay?
629
I was so scared.
630
Don't worry.
631
You're safe now.
632
Hang on.
633
No offense, Dad.
634
It sounds cool that you could use the full power of your brain, but 100% of nothing is still nothing.
635
Please hang up.
636
This phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
637
No, you hang up!
638
I'm serious, please hang up.
639
No, you first!
640
This is a direct order, please hang up!
641
Alright, we'll do it at the same time.
642
One...
643
Two...
644
No, wait!
645
Mm-mm.
646
We need to get this box back to the right person!
647
The president has to be saved! And kissed!
648
What if it was just a box?
649
That would be a huge letdown.
650
Think about it.
651
A cardboard box could be a spaceship!
652
A time machine!
653
A pirate rope fighting a giant squid!
654
If you look at it through the eyes of a kid!
655
I said it would be a huge letdown!
656
I don't care what's inside it.
657
I just want the box!
658
We need to destroy it!
659
No!
660
I saw it first!
661
It's mine!
662
Get me down!
663
Get down!
664
Get down!
665
My favorite!
666
Have you guys received a package by any chance?
667
I told them to leave it here if I wasn't home.
668
Oh!
669
I don't think so.
670
Never mind.
671
Wait!
672
Maybe we opened it by mistake.
673
What was inside?
674
You don't wanna know.
675
Trust me, we really do.
676
Okay, you know that rough skin you have on your elbow?
677
Well, imagine that, but a bit scalier, and spreading over your entire...
678
...place that should be soft.
679
Now, imagine if that skin also got marinated in vinegar
680
and microwaved and hair somehow got trapped under a layer of
681
that skin and the hair kept growing under this kind of blister
682
that sort of filled with some butter-colored oily matter and then it started sweating.
683
Kind of like cheese, but on live meat.
684
Until it hardened into a flaking crust.
685
Well, the box had some cream in it for that.
686
You're right.
687
We didn't want to know.
688
Potato!
689
Potato!
690
Potato!
691
Mmm, fluffy!
692
Hey Idaho, my number one bro-tato.
693
How's it hanging?
694
Hmm, what's wrong with him?
695
Isn't it obvious?
696
Um, nope.
697
Dude, you're eating potato!
698
In front of Idaho!
699
The potato!
700
That's it!
701
If it upsets Idaho, I'm never gonna eat potato again.
702
There are plenty of other foods I like.
703
I'll just eat those.
704
I'll go ask for some fries.
705
Uh, those are potato too.
706
What did you think french fries were made of?
707
French people?
708
SMH, dude.
709
SMH.
710
Hmm.
711
Huh?
712
Also potatoes.
713
Wedges?
714
Potato.
715
Hashbrowns?
716
Potato.
717
Potato tots?
718
Potato.
719
Croquette?
720
Potato.
721
Potato.
722
Potato salad?
723
I can't believe I've been so insensitive.
724
At least it was only once.
725
Each chip is sliced and diced and lowered gently into the boiling oil.
726
Happy birthday, dear Father!
727
Then boiled again in the boiling oil.
728
Do you have the time?
729
Chipping!
730
A quarter after two.
731
Before boiling them in boiling oil one final time.
732
What one?
733
I'm so insensitive.
734
Yeah, maybe you need to think about how other people feel.
735
Also, I eat way too many potatoes.
736
I'm proud of you, buddy.
737
Openly admitting you've got a problem is the first step to recovery.
738
Okay!
739
I have a problem!
740
Great!
741
All better.
742
Dude, that's not the only step to recovery.
743
That sure doesn't have a back on it.
744
And maybe the problem's a lot bigger than you think.
745
Ah!
746
I do need help.
747
Okay, dude.
748
We've cleared out your locker and your desk.
749
Is there anywhere else we've missed?
750
Hmm...
751
Is there anywhere else?
752
I don't recall.
753
Could there be any other potatoes?
754
I think we've got three...
755
Thanks for leading me to your secret supply.
756
But you'll never find my secret secret.
757
Dang.
758
Stay strong, bro.
759
I know this isn't easy.
760
This isn't easy.
761
This is a very emotional time for me.
762
I keep getting these horrible, devastating move swings.
763
But it's fine.
764
Everything is great.
765
All I need to do is relax.
766
Like, really, really relax.
767
I'll fight anything not move.
768
Well, he's coping better than I thought.
769
You know, a lot of people find doing something with their hands helps take their mind off cravings.
770
Let's search for things to do with your hands.
771
Whoa!
772
Origami!
773
That's a great idea!
774
Feel any better?
775
Not at all.
776
Well, at least it hasn't upset anyone.
777
Hey guys, have you seen my parents?
778
They were coming in today to see Miss Simeon.
779
No...
780
Never mind!
781
Clearly dedication and good intentions aren't working.
782
Time to put our faith in something that looks like science, but isn't.
783
Welcome to Dr. Xanthor's Hypnotize Yourself to a healthier you.
784
Listen to the sound of my voice.
785
You're feeling very sleepy.
786
You're lying in the field.
787
You feel the sauce I give so fast.
788
Help.
789
Did it help?
790
No!
791
And neither is that!
792
Get those chips out of my face!
793
Hey, what are you guys doing?
794
Do we really have to tell you or will you just admit? that you've been eavesdropping and already have a solution.
795
I sure do!
796
Just leave it to ScoopDog!
797
Oh, okay.
798
Is he coming here or do we go to him?
799
Neither.
800
So, we just wait here or...
801
No, no, it's me.
802
I'm ScoopDog.
803
It's a new nickname I'm trying.
804
Oh, that was not at all clear. Did it work?
805
Not really.
806
Aversion therapy is just advertising with different music.
807
See?
808
Also, maybe it would have worked better if you hadn't wedged my eyes open with french fries.
809
Any other bad ideas?
810
How about Mr. Small's Group Therapy?
811
It's really good.
812
I've been to every single one to cure my obsessor personality.
813
Every.
814
Single.
815
One.
816
Haven't missed a week.
817
Tried to.
818
Couldn't.
819
Is everyone here?
820
Good.
821
Welcome to the therapy group.
822
Wait, it's just you guys?
823
You can't be a group of two.
824
That's a duo.
825
I just thought duo therapy sounded weird.
826
It is weird.
827
Oh, I'll start.
828
My name is Sarah, and I'm obsessive about comics, movies, gumball, fan art, Darwin, Gumball on Darwin, making lists about things I'm obsessed with.
829
Sarah, this isn't about you.
830
It's about me, helping Darwin to give up potatoes.
831
Nature's taste grenade?
832
Why?
833
Because it's upsetting Idaho.
834
Very well.
835
I gave up eating meat using the visualization technique.
836
Each time I wanted to eat some meat, I would picture it with a face.
837
It was harrowing!
838
But it worked.
839
Try it.
840
Howdy!
841
Whoa!
842
I think it worked!
843
I don't feel like eating potatoes anymore!
844
Thank you, Mr. Small!
845
What's that on your desk?
846
Nothing.
847
Go back to the part where you were saying what a great duotherapist I am.
848
I never said that.
849
Is that a string of sausages?
850
And you've got steaks hidden under here.
851
Darwin, wait!
852
It's not what it looks like.
853
I've been hiding meat around my desk because I can't stop eating it!
854
That's exactly what it looks like.
855
You're a total fake!
856
That's it!
857
No!
858
I'm sorry, but this is who I am!
859
Huh.
860
I don't feel any different.
861
Do I look okay?
862
Potato.
863
Potato?
864
Potato, potato.
865
Potato!
866
Potato!
867
Hello, darling, nice to see you.
868
Glad to have you back with us.
869
We have things we need to tell you if it isn't too much fun.
870
We really can't forgive you when you cut us into pieces.
871
We wish you had an ease and all our nephews and our naces.
872
Mashed them, baked them, fried them, roasted, sauteed, boiled and grilled and toasted.
873
They peeled up all our skin, dug out all our rice, You diced us into edges and you sliced us into pride!
874
We are glad we came to see you, one more thing we must discuss, the final thing we need to say is, Please will you stop beating us?
875
Uh.. you okay, buddy?
876
That's it!
877
I need to do this on my own!
878
I'm gonna lock myself in my room until I beat this thing!
879
Uh, Mr. Small?
880
Darwin just skipped out on the rest of the school day.
881
Don't look at me!
882
Rotato!
883
We did it!
884
We did it!
885
Darwin's given up eating potatoes!
886
I knew you'd be pleased, but I didn't realize you'd get so emotional.
887
I'm not.
888
You just shut my hand in the locker.
889
Oh, sorry.
890
So what was that about Darwin?
891
He's gone home and locked himself in his room to quit eating potatoes because it was upsetting you.
892
Why would I be upset?
893
I'm not the same potatoes as he eats in the canteen.
894
Are you saying that all potatoes look the same?
895
I...
896
Say no!
897
No?
898
I'm gonna go see Darwin.
899
So it looks like everything worked out well in the end.
900
I don't think you understand what just happened.
901
Darwin is struggling to battle his potato cravings, and you just let Idaho, the potato, go off and see him. So we're good?
902
Phew-wee!
903
Sure is hot!
904
I better put some sunscreen on.
905
Well, plow my furrow!
906
This ain't sunscreen, it's tanning oil!
907
Look at me getting all crispy!
908
Okay, one more time!
909
So, Idaho has gone to see Darwin.
910
Remember, Darwin is struggling to resist eating potatoes. And we...
911
If I have a serious expression and nod really slowly, it'll look like I'm listening to every word she's saying.
912
Now, Gumball!
913
What?
914
You do realize you said all of that out loud.
915
Quick, think of a good excuse. And that!
916
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
917
I'm salting the roads for ice.
918
But it's like 90 degrees out here, and it's June!
919
I'm so fired.
920
Okay, so here's a model of the block you live on.
921
I'm sorry I didn't have time to build it to scale.
922
So here's Darwin- Sarah, we don't have time for this!
923
I just realized that Idaho is on its way to see the potato star of Darwin!
924
And Idaho is a potato!
925
Oh no!
926
The truck is out of control!
927
Oh, I guess it's all right.
928
Darwin?
929
Darwin?
930
Darwin?
931
Darwin?
932
Darwin?
933
Darwin?
934
Darwin!
935
Darwin!
936
Don't do it!
937
Don't do it!
938
Open up!
939
Open up!
940
Oh, thanks.
941
Darwin.
942
No. Uh, a gumbo?
943
Not now, Idaho.
944
Wait, what?
945
Idaho brought me this bake to show me it's OK to eat potatoes.
946
And there's no hard feelings.
947
No, you're alive!
948
Wait, I thought you were upset at Darwin.
949
No, I was upset at you!
950
I hate that stupid nickname.
951
Oh, we thought you were annoyed about the potato thing, but you were annoyed about the bro-tato thing!
952
Just laugh with them and they'll think you understand.
953
So we're all gonna pretend we didn't hear him say that, right?
954
Yeah.
955
No!
956
No, I didn't get a new haircut.
957
No, I'm not desperately trying to get notice for waxing my mustache.
958
No, I didn't get a new haircut.
959
No, I'm not desperately trying to get notice for waxing my mustache.
960
No, I haven't had my dentures widened, and I don't wear dentures!
961
And by the way, I can plainly see you're all miming, so just man up and ask!
962
What do we do wrong?
963
Eh?
964
It might be that a certain someone forgot a certain something.
965
Uh, you're being a bit hypocritical here.
966
You can't be angry at someone for forgetting something if you can't even remember their name or what they forgot.
967
It's fine.
968
No need to make a fuss about it.
969
I got it.
970
There must be some secret fuss that I shouldn't know about.
971
No, there is no fuss.
972
No fuss.
973
Got it.
974
No, seriously, there is no fuss.
975
You just said you didn't want to fuss.
976
Also, what is all this fuss about?
977
Sure, you didn't organize any fuss.
978
I'm not bluffing, there's no fussing.
979
Oh!
980
I wonder who this could be!
981
Oh!
982
A sing-a-gram!
983
Uhh...
984
Hello, my darling!
985
Hello, my baby!
986
This is from the IRS!
987
You better pay it, they're getting serious, your home will be repossessed!
988
There you go.
989
What?
990
A party!
991
I know it!
992
YAY!
993
Even acupuncture couldn't save him.
994
It's a special day!
995
Awwww!
996
Get 25% off a Dave Skyriding Emporium?
997
Wait, so you really haven't organized anything?
998
Oh.
999
Okay.
1000
It's alright.
1001
It's quite alright, really.
1002
Don't make a fuss.
1003
Okay then.
1004
Something about her body language tells me she doesn't mean that.
1005
Yep, pack your bags, we're about to go on the round-the-world guilt trip.
1006
Unless we figure out what we should be making a fuss about.
1007
Dirty socks
1008
and filthy clothes When all I wanted was a sweet red rose
1009
And how could anyone forget
1010
Or fail to see why I'm upset He made me laugh with things he said
1011
But now he can't remember the day we...
1012
AHHHHH!
1013
Gumball!
1014
Put out the fire!
1015
AHHHHH!
1016
No, no!
1017
AHHHHH!
1018
AHHHHH!
1019
AHH!
1020
The song!
1021
Finish the song!
1022
No. A certain someone should know why today is important.
1023
Why did you say we shouldn't be making a fuss if you get all angry about it when we don't?
1024
No need to make a fuss is a thing people say, but they obviously don't mean it.
1025
I honestly don't mean it.
1026
It's all in the subtext, like when someone says, I'm only two minutes away.
1027
We should stay in touch. Or, it's fine, honey.
1028
Uh, okay.
1029
So are you gonna tell us what we should be celebrating?
1030
Don't worry about it, sweetheart.
1031
Heh, it's kinda difficult to organize a party if you don't know what it's for.
1032
What's appropriate, cake?
1033
What if it's the anniversary of some tragedy?
1034
A black cake?
1035
Just keep it as vague as possible, like this.
1036
Look, today's the day!
1037
Uh, do I draw a smiley face on the card or not?
1038
Make it both!
1039
Hmm.
1040
Keep it neutral.
1041
Good choice!
1042
Beige.
1043
The Wednesday of colors.
1044
Like a visual music, as noncommittal as can be.
1045
Okay, I'll be Mom coming in.
1046
Everyone try and look as bland as possible.
1047
I feel nothing.
1048
It's perfect.
1049
She's coming!
1050
Get ready to sing the Everything song!
1051
Today's so very important, it doesn't come very often, for reasons you thought we'd forgotten, today is all about you.
1052
It's such an important day, it's such an important day.
1053
Happy today to you, happy today to you, happy today dear Nicole.
1054
Unless it's kind of sad too.
1055
This day for you is important for us too.
1056
A sad and serious day, unless you want us to say hurray.
1057
We know this idea's not strong, this is clearly a Christmas song.
1058
We can't keep this up for too long, so tell us what's wrong.
1059
With deepest feelings on this momentous occasion, smooth.
1060
Oh, we baked you a cake!
1061
Really?
1062
Dad, she was looking you right in the eye!
1063
It's you who's forgotten something!
1064
What is it?
1065
Okay, let me think.
1066
What's going on?
1067
I think he's using his brain.
1068
This is dangerous!
1069
He's pushing way past his usual limits!
1070
He's not gonna make it!
1071
No, Darwin!
1072
He has to do this!
1073
I got it.
1074
What is it?
1075
We asked for a clue!
1076
Can you please just tell us why today is so special
1077
so this family can get back to functioning in its usual dysfunctional way?
1078
It's November 1st, our wedding anniversary.
1079
Hmm...
1080
Since when do swans have nipples?
1081
Dad, there is only one way to save the day.
1082
With a totally over-the-top, disproportionate, overblown gesture.
1083
You're right.
1084
I don't know what's so special about October 11th, but I know it's an important day to your mother, so I'm going to make sure I never forget it again.
1085
How?
1086
Hmm...
1087
That's not a swan.
1088
It's an elephant.
1089
What are you talking about?
1090
Well, didn't you ever wonder why we went on summer vacation in January?
1091
The calendar was upside down!
1092
Today is October 11th, not November 1st!
1093
I'm going to get a tattoo of October 11th...
1094
...on my butt!
1095
Okay, a tattoo is a big commitment.
1096
You should probably think about it for...
1097
So, it turns out I was...
1098
What?
1099
You know, I was...
1100
She thought today was their wedding anniversary, but it isn't.
1101
She's trying to say she was wrong, but her mouth is pathologically incapable of saying those words.
1102
Well, I hope her legs are capable of making up for it.
1103
What?
1104
Why?
1105
It looks just like her.
1106
Thanks!
1107
I'd like this, and that.
1108
Uh-huh.
1109
What are you doing?
1110
I couldn't see a head!
1111
Then we're gonna have to run!
1112
Ow!
1113
It hurts so bad!
1114
Oh no no no no!
1115
I can't do it!
1116
It's too painful!
1117
Dude, I assure you that's a reasonable price for a tattoo.
1118
Help me!
1119
Please don't be a butt, please don't be a butt, please don't be a butt.
1120
Thank you, universe.
1121
Technically, that's my face.
1122
That's my butt.
1123
Let's go this way!
1124
We can see we're going in this direction!
1125
Wait!
1126
What?
1127
You're holding it upside down.
1128
Almost got the tag wrong there! Where is it?
1129
By the strip mall!
1130
Somewhere on the left!
1131
I can't see anything!
1132
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
1133
Wait, I gotta write you a ticket before I forget what happened.
1134
Stop!
1135
What?
1136
Where's my husband?
1137
I'm here!
1138
Oh, here.
1139
What have you done?
1140
Don't worry, honey.
1141
Oh, thank goodness you didn't go through with it.
1142
No, I totally went through with it.
1143
I just meant that he gave me a discount, so you don't need to worry about the price.
1144
Oh, Richard.
1145
Now I'll never forget what day it is.
1146
I would always look at this and think, I wonder what day that is.
1147
Forever.
1148
But I was wrong!
1149
Huh?
1150
She messed up with the date and she was wrong.
1151
Well that's a day to remember.
1152
Aw, just kidding.
1153
I know exactly how to fix this.
1154
How?
1155
Now I'll never forget to think about you every day.
1156
What do you think?
1157
Hmph!
1158
I love it.
1159
I'm not sure what you're doing.
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Vocabolario e note di pronuncia per questa lezione
Questa lezione di conversazione di livello A2 si basa sul video “Five FULL EPISODES Mega Compilation! SEASON 5 Gumball”. Questo video contiene 1159 frasi e 7076 parole da ripetere con lo shadowing. Il parlato dura 53:53. Chi parla mantiene un ritmo costante di circa 131 parole al minuto, comodo per lo shadowing. Il 80% delle parole rientra nelle 3.000 più comuni dell’inglese; conviene studiare le altre prima di iniziare. 223 delle sue 1159 frasi sono domande: un buon esercizio per l’intonazione interrogativa e le risposte brevi.
Vocaboli chiave di questo video
15 parole del video che vale la pena imparare, con pronuncia e significato:
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| potato sostantivo | /pəˈteɪ.təʊ/ | patata, pomo di terra |
| fuss sostantivo | /fʌs/ | confusione, trambusto |
| slide sostantivo | /ˈslaɪ̯d/ | scivolo |
| butt sostantivo | /bʌt/ | culo, sedere |
| boil verbo | /bɔɪ(ə)l/ | far bollire |
| laser sostantivo | /ˈleɪzɚ/ | laser |
| tattoo sostantivo | /tæˈtuː/ | tatuaggio |
| desk sostantivo | /dɛsk/ | scrivania |
| steal verbo | /stiːl/ | rubare, derubare |
| buddy | /ˈbʌdi/ | amico, compagno |
| fry verbo | /fɹaɪ/ | friggere |
| millionaire sostantivo | /ˌmɪl.i.əˈnɛə(ɹ)/ | milionario |
| server sostantivo | /ˈsɝvɚ/ | server |
| chase verbo | /t͡ʃeɪs/ | inseguire, cacciare |
| honey sostantivo | /ˈhʌni/ | miele |
I phrasal verb che sentirai
| Parola | Pronuncia | Significato |
|---|---|---|
| give up verbo | arrendersi | |
| hang up verbo | appendere | |
| get off verbo | scendere | |
| make up verbo | /ˌmeɪk ˈʌp/ | comporsi |
| open up verbo | aprire | |
| check out verbo | investigare | |
| come back verbo | tornare | |
| figure out verbo | scoprire, rendersi conto |
Frasi da ripetere
Frasi brevi e complete del video che puoi riutilizzare nella conversazione di tutti i giorni:
- Are you sure we're not being too picky?
- You're still typing, aren't you?
- Is there anywhere else we've missed?
- Wait, it's just you guys?
- What's that on your desk?
La grammatica di questo video
Le strutture che chi parla usa di più, con le parole esatte del video:
| Struttura | Nel video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — un’azione iniziata prima e ancora in corso | He's been chasing · I've been waiting · we've just been using |
| Present perfect have/has + participio passato — un’azione passata che conta ancora adesso | I've spoken · I've already seen · have not interacted |
| Forma passiva be + participio passato — conta ciò che accade, non chi lo fa | is wasted · being rejected · was born |
| Frasi relative who / which + frase — un’informazione in più su una persona o una cosa | guy who loves · one who wants |
Pronuncia a cui fare attenzione
Chi parla usa 278 contrazioni e forme ridotte, come I'm, don't, you're. Pronunciale nella forma breve, così come le senti.
- I suoni “th”: earthquake /ˈɝθkweɪk/, thumb /ˈθʌm/, thread /ˈθɹɛd/, smooth /smuːð/
- I suoni “sh” e “zh”: infection /ɪnˈfɛkʃən/, flesh /flɛʃ/, fictional /ˈfɪkʃənəl/, hashtag /ˈhæʃˌtæɡ/, shock /ʃɔk/
- Parole lunghe — attenzione all’accento: millionaire /ˌmɪl.i.əˈnɛə(ɹ)/, technically /ˈtɛk.nɪˌkəl.i/, desperately /ˈdɛs.p(ə.)ɹət.li/, supermarket /ˌsupɚˈmɑɹkət/, complicated /ˈkɑm.plɪˌkeɪ.tɪd/
I suoni difficili per chi parla italiano:
- /h/ — va soffiata, non è muta: honey /ˈhʌni/, haircut /ˈhɛə(ɹ)kʌt/, hashtag /ˈhæʃˌtæɡ/, horrible /ˈhɔɹ.ɪ.bəl/
- Consonante finale — senza aggiungere una vocale dopo: fuss /fʌs/, slide /ˈslaɪ̯d/, butt /bʌt/, desk /dɛsk/, chase /t͡ʃeɪs/
- /æ/ — più aperta della “e”: tattoo /tæˈtuː/, romance /roʊˈmæn(t)s/, relax /ɹɪˈlæks/, password /ˈpæs.wɜɹd/, hashtag /ˈhæʃˌtæɡ/
Come esercitarsi con questo video
- Ascolta tutto il video una volta senza parlare e annota le parole che non conosci.
- Fai shadowing frase per frase a velocità normale, ripetendo ognuna finché il tuo ritmo coincide con quello di chi parla.
- Registrati e confronta con l’originale, facendo attenzione a parole come potato, fuss, slide.
Cos'è la tecnica dello Shadowing?
Shadowing è una tecnica di apprendimento delle lingue supportata da studi scientifici, originariamente sviluppata per la formazione dei traduttori professionisti e resa popolare dal poliglotta Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Il metodo è semplice ma potente: ascolti un audio in inglese di madrelingua e lo ripeti immediatamente ad alta voce — come un'ombra che segue il parlante con un ritardo di solo 1–2 secondi. A differenza dell'ascolto passivo o degli esercizi di grammatica, lo shadowing costringe il tuo cervello e i muscoli della bocca a elaborare e riprodurre simultaneamente i modelli di discorso reale. La ricerca dimostra che migliora significativamente la precisione della pronuncia, l'intonazione, il ritmo, il discorso connesso, la comprensione dell'ascolto e la fluidità del parlato — rendendolo uno dei metodi più efficaci per la preparazione alla prova di speaking dell'IELTS e per la comunicazione reale in inglese.